Month: March 2005

BUSH’S PRIVATIZATION GURU: A NINE-YEAR-OLD!

For five years, the country has suffered the boners, smirks and swaggers of the First Dimwit. While the world is aghast, we have suffered “nookyulur”, “Amurka”, and “they misunderestimated me”. Let’s face it, Bush makes Dan (Mr. Potato Head) Quayle look like Mensa material.

But finally, George W has

found an intellectual peer. It seems quite appropriate that the highly esteemed Yale graduate with the distinguished war record has enlisted the mature and gifted mind of a nine-year- old to convince the unsophisticated masses that the most glaring problem of the day is a Social Security fund which will be solvent, by government estimates through 2042.

The Republicans have recruited young Noah McCullough to fight their idealogical battle to privatize Social Security and finally dismantle the New Deal. Talk about gravitas. The White House dismisses the likes of economics professor and New York Times columnist Paul Krugman, Democratic members of Congress, and the AARP as unworthy of expressing an informed opinion, but rally around the ridiculous sensibilities of a nine-year-old. What would we have done without this opportunity to consult America’s future about the manner in which we conduct our domestic economic policies?

Noah, a wiz-kid TV novelty act from suburban Houston, began campaigning for Bush during the election of 2004. When word got out the fourth grader, a veritable encyclopedia of presidential and historical trivia, was a self declared Republican, a right wing think tank calling themselves “Progress for America” engaged him as their new lobbyist. As a resident in House Majority Leader Tom DeLay’s district, DeLay arranged for the funding of a family trip to Washington and then, throughout the country to make appearances advocating for the privatization plan. In a recent interview, the young politico told a gushing, giggling Katie Couric his mother is a Democrat. Yeah, sure, and pigs fly, Noah.

Having a nine-year-old lecturing on Social Security is just another craven act of manipulation by this administration. Patriotism, religion, race, and gender have all been exploited in the Bush PR meat grinder. So now we can have children being used for political gain.

While this wunderkind is out front and center parroting the Republican party line, will he talk about the collapsing dollar which is driving the price of gasoline to $3 a gallon?

Will he lead the discussion on the sky-rocketing property tax increases throughout the nation resulting from the administration’s failure to fund the local communities cost of implementing

its ineffective education policies?

Are these concepts that we should expect young Noah to understand? If not, how then, can we expect any more from George W. Bush?

Usually, there is poetic justice in looking to children for answers. Hopefully, this young squire, with more than 3,000 books in his collection, will have read a copy of The Emperor Has No Clothes and will ask George W. to explain that fairytale for us.

Want to respond? Send us an email here.

TOURNEY TEASERS

Consider this your one-stop viewerÕs guide for the 10th annual Conference USA basketball tournament, to be held this Wednesday through Saturday at FedExForum. All the facts you may have thought you knew, but didnÕt.

The first C-USA tourney was held right here in Memphis, at The Pyramid in 1996. In what remains the best championship game to date, Cincinnati beat Marquette, 85-84, in overtime. The BearcatsÕ Danny Fortson (now of the Seattle SuperSonics) was named the tournamentÕs MVP, the first of four Cincinnati players to be so honored.

Over its first nine years, the tournament has been dominated by Bob HugginsÕs Cincinnati program. (Huggins is the only coach to have been on the bench in every C-USA tourney.) The Bearcats were the top seed in each of the first seven tournaments and have won four championships (1996, Ô98, 2002, Ô04). They lost in the 2001 championship to Charlotte.

Only twice has a top seed lost its opening game. In the 2000 quarterfinals, ninth-seeded Saint Louis upset Cincinnati, and in 2003 Marquette was beaten by another nine seed, UAB. But take note: those Golden Eagles went on to reach the Final Four.

The lowest seeds to ever reach the finals were a pair of nines. Saint Louis beat third-seeded DePaul for the trophy in 2000. UAB lost to Louisville in 2003.

Only one C-USA scoring champion has played for a tournament champ. CincinnatiÕs Steve Logan averaged 22.0 points per game in 2001-02 and the Bearcats beat Marquette for the title.

This has not been a fun tournament for the University of Memphis. Only three times have the Tigers reached the semifinals, losing to Marquette in 1996, Cincinnati in 2001, and Louisville in 2003. On five occasions, Memphis has lost its opening game of the tourney (including last year when, as the second seed, they lost to Saint Louis, 72-61).

Among C-USAÕs 14 schools, only three have failed to reach the semifinals on at least one occasion: TCU, South Florida, and East Carolina. The Pirates have yet to win a single tourney game, and wonÕt this year as they failed to qualify.

After Cincinnati, the most successful tourney squad has been Charlotte. The 49ers have reached the championship game four times, winning the title in 1999 and 2001.

The lowest-scoring championship came in 2000 at The Pyramid, when those underdog Billikens beat DePaul, 56-49. On two occasions, a single team placed three players on the all-tournament team. In 1998, CincinnatiÕs DÕJuan Baker, Michael Horton, and Kenyon Martin made the squad. A year later, Charlotte placed Diego Guevara, Kelvin Price, and Galen Young on the team.

Memphis has placed only two players on the all-tournament team: Lorenzen Wright in 1996 and Kelly Wise in 2001.

The single-game scoring record is 37 points, by Larry Hughes of Saint Louis in a 1998 quarterfinal game against UAB. The Billikens lost to the Blazers, 76-74. (Steve Logan scored 32 points against Memphis in a 2001 semifinal.) The Memphis record is 27 points by Lorenzen Wright against Marquette in the 1996 semifinals.

Winning the C-USA tournament does not bode well for a teamÕs prospects in the Big Dance. Only once has a tourney champ advanced beyond the second round of the NCAA tournament. In 1996, Cincinnati reached the regional finals.

Memphis has been an equal-opportunity loser over the course of the tourneyÕs nine-year history. Eight different teams (Marquette, Southern Miss, South Florida, DePaul, Cincinnati, Houston, Louisville, and Saint Louis) have eliminated the Tigers. Only Marquette has done so twice.

The TigersÕ four C-USA tournament wins have been over DePaul (in 1996), South Florida (in 2000), Marquette (in Ô01), and USF again (in Ô03).

BEYOND BUBBA

“New Strategies for Southern Progress” was the name of a recent conference of regional Democratic political leaders and others in North Carolina. According to reports, their goal was to “identify pragmatic and innovative solutions to the region’s toughest problems” and more boldly, to “chart a new progressive vision for the region.” According to The Nation magazine, the “attendees left visibly conflicted on some fundamental questions: What kind of politics can – and should – win in the region? And what are our bedrock values and long-term vision for the future?”

If these well meaning folks are hoping to come up with some new ideas on how to jump political hurdles with white, Christian fundamentalist voters in Dixie, they’ve got themselves a heaping helping of challenge on their plates. The task of politically endearing the majority of the South to anything other than misguided conservatism will be a struggle for even moderate candidates.

Wide swaths of the Southern population have checked out to the hinterland. While urban sprawl has been around for years, in this era of Bushification with double speak buzzwords like “ownership society” and “people of faith”, this lifestyle choice has taken on new disturbing dimensions. It is particularly admired and desired in the reddest Republican states.

Abandoning the city centers from which their incomes are derived, many middle class Southerners have established frontiers of denial in which political, economic, and religious diversity is feared and loathed. The outskirts are not complete without a Christian mega church to provide a one-stop center for all social interaction and to reinforce the idea that doing the Lord’s will means voting Republican. Typically, when these remote pieces of heaven become aging, congested, hamlets filled with parkways of strip malls and fast food outlets, God once again comes a’calling for the congregations to move on to farther environs in order to seek harmony with their own kind.

The attempt to capture the imaginations of this segment of the Southern population will be a tough nut to crack for progressives. Some have suggested that the discussion of religious faith will cause the base of the Democratic Party in blue states to bolt; however, in the South, references to religion will be unavoidable, as it is the overarching force within the culture. As a matter of fact, Democrats should use the parlance of religion to their advantage.

For example, take the word “saved”. A word commonly used by Christians to describe spiritual status should be used to discuss the nation’s temporal status. We should save America from perpetual war. The nation’s sick children should be saved from suffering by being given healthcare. We should save Social Security so seniors can live with dignity instead of in poverty.

When Howard Dean, the newly elected chairman of the Democratic Party showed up in Mississippi last week, it was a fresh start for progressive politics. Because he understands its gravity to the voters, Dean talked about issues in terms of moral and religious choices. Engaging in dialogues by communicating with language that matters will be the first step in persuading Southerners to rethink their attitudes and to realize that living the American dream is our salvation, but in order to have it, we must work for the general welfare of the entire country and greater good of all.