Well, I watched him. I have to confess that I have never really been able to look at the Liar long enough to actually hear him give a speech because it is simply to revolting, but I made myself sit through a good portion of his interview with Tim Russert on Meet the Press Sunday morning and I was quite taken aback. When he first emerged as a presidential candidate and started campaigning, I thought he was just a buffoon. Probably kind of harmless because he was so stupid. Then when he started lying like crazy and sent us into this war and more about him began to come out, I thought he was still a buffoon, but much more dangerous than he had been before. Basically, an asshole of the highest order. But after seeing the interview with Russert, I am now convinced that this man might have some mental illness problems that need to be addressed. Forget the fact that it takes a painfully long time for him to complete a sentence and when he finally does he smiles and cocks his head a certain way to show how proud he is of having done so. It s eerie. Then when he is questioned about something he knows he can t answer truthfully, his eyes kind of cross just like Fay Dunaway s did when she played Joan Crawford in Mommy Dearest every time she had a psychotic episode after beating those kids or chopping down the rose bushes in the yard in the middle of the night with an ax. And how many times in the first 10 minutes of that interview did he use the word intelligence? I m sure his trainers were cringing through that one him attaching that word to himself. The creepiest part was when he would say something totally unintelligible and follow it by addressing Russert as Tim. It was like he was talking to me and it made me very, very uncomfortable, because if he ever really addressed me personally, I am afraid of what I might do. I know one thing: I would have asked him a lot more questions. Like: Mr. Liar, now that you are on this sanctity of marriage bandwagon, what about your brother Neil? What about all the women in the hotel rooms while he was married? What about the out-of-wedlock children sired with women other than his wife? Is that what you call sanctity? And: Mr. Liar, were you scared the other day at the Washington Hilton, where you were praying for the soldiers who have died in Iraq in the war you sent them into based on the lies about weapons of mass destruction? Not scared about the reactions from their families, but about the sound glitch in the middle of your lying speech that sounded briefly like machine gun fire? Just like the woman in Olive Branch almost driving her car into the building you were in, close, but no cigar! And: Mr. Liar, we hear that while campaigning in South Carolina the other day, you stopped for barbecue at a place called Sticky Fingers. What s with that? Were you in the company of all your friends who are successfully getting away with not paying taxes thanks to your tax cuts? Or was the place a subsidiary of your buddy Halliburton? Finally: Mr. Liar, have you ever heard of a product many other Americans use, called hair conditioner? And so it would have gone. But I will never be able to ask the Liar those questions because that would mean having to have a face-to-face conversation with him and I would rather have my tongue bitten out by Charles Manson, who, by the way, I would vote for if he was the Democratic nominee this fall. In the meantime, here s a brief look at some of what s going on around town this week. Tonight, country music icon Rodney Crowell, along with his quintet and special guests, is at Germantown Performing Arts Centre. And there s a Lime Aid Benefit for Shawn Cripps featuring The Reigning Sound, The Limes, Jeff Evans, and Jack Oblivian at the Hi-Tone.
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