Month: March 2001

So you’ve got your Internet hook-up, your free browser, your free time, and you want to surf. At the click of the aerodynamic rodent in your hand, you check your e-mail, rattle a few notes off to your compadres, check out a link that sounds interesting, and then most likely vamoose, leaving your computer wondering, Quo vadis, beloved user?

No, no. It’s not wondering where you’re going, it’s processing binary code, until you shut it down. The thing is a tool, not a pal. And I find that the only way I employ this tool is to communicate with and be entertained by others. Then I’m done, back to reality, having spent 15 minutes or so on epigrammatic communiques and some ephemeral entertainment. But wait a second … If it’s a tool, then I should be able to save time with it, not waste time goofing off on it. That’s what tools are for, right? Tasks simplified equal less work and more leisure time.

Millenia ago the bow and arrow made killing food a less exhausting enterprise. Today the Internet makes killing chores a little easier. You just have to know how to reach who you need to reach. That’s been my problem thus far. The Internet “yellow pages” don’t seem to help. And how can I save time if I don’t know what exactly is out there? And what’s the advantage over using the phone? There are probably a lot of menial tasks that I have to accomplish in my free time that I could take care of on the Web. Like this: Why drive to the DMV if I can surf there and cut out that nasty, mind-numbing waiting in line. But can I do the DMV via the Web? I don’t know. What I need is some guidance, a bit of revelation.

Luckily, it’s out there. Memphis is alive on the Web. But how would you ever know the extent to which it is flourishing unless some kind, encyclopedic soul had done the research for you? Someone has. Get yourself to www.MemphisWebSites.com.

The name says it all. And they all seem to be there. The Webmaster of Memphis Web Sites has compiled a veritable cornucopia of Memphis-related links under such nicely alphabetized headings as Attractions, Automotive, Banking and Money, Buildings and Structures, Business, City Guides, et cetera. See what I mean by guidance? This is what I need.

Say I’m shopping for a home. I check out the neighborhood. Looks good. But who knows? Do I need to go door to door and ask, Hey, is this a crime-ridden ‘hood? Nope. Turns out there’s a site where I can check out the crime statistics of any neighborhood in town. So instead of canvassing the streets, I can click around in my underwear with some Fritos and find out the same stuff. I wouldn’t have known the site existed if I hadn’t looked under the Government heading on Memphis Web Sites, which is actually a subsite of NeatSite.com, a Memphis-based “family-friendly Web guide” that is still under construction.

So if you’re using the binary beast that took over your desk to do little more than chat and goof off, here’s a helpful place to begin if you’d like it to really start earning its keep.

Wow.

Wake up one morning, have the NBA on the doorstep, banging to be let in. No, that’s not quite true. It’s more like the NBA is an ice-cream truck, ringing its bell. Only in this case, the ice-cream truck came down our street and stopped right in front of our door. Waiting.

Let’s ignore for a moment the dreaminess of it all. How it looks much too good to be true. What if? It’s a good question. For a city virtually ignored in terms of professional sports as if the gods had decreed a ban on the River City, this sudden turnaround seems … well, it just seems like too much.

Here’s the deal: Memphis has FedEx. Memphis has AutoZone. Memphis has a bunch of other less-well-known businesses who could contribute to an NBA team. Memphis has 1.1 million people. It is the biggest urban spot within 105 counties. More importantly, Memphis doesn’t have any major league sports teams — the Memphis Grizzlies (should we keep the name?) would have the area to itself. Our two major competitors for this NBA transplant — Anaheim and Las Vegas — are hurt by the former being too close to Los Angeles (a city with two NBA teams already) and the latter by gambling, a Pandora’s box NBA brass would just as soon not open. Has anyone told NBA commish David Stern about Tunica? Don’t answer that.

We also have The Pyramid, an arena admittedly built as the Tomb of Doom for Tiger basketball (read: college). Lacking box seats, club seats, and a plethora of skyboxes, the landmark arena admittedly needs some renovation. But the costs are much less than a new arena. Plus The Pyramid has plenty of space for the team’s offices and other attractions (maybe it will finally get the inclinator and theme restaurant we’ve heard so much about).

If Memphis has a shot for this big league team — heck, any professional team — we need to step up to the plate, stay in the pocket, stay out of the crease, take it to the hole, and split the uprights. This is too good an opportunity to pass up for a city that has always been considered a basketball town.

Sports are a defining attribute for a city. Even our illustrious president once called Tennessee “minor league” in reference to our lack of pro sports (this was said before the Titans). In this modern age, competing with the big boys is more than bragging rights. It’s a measuring stick. So far, Memphis has been in the range of centimeters and inches while our counterparts have gone on to yards and — dare I say it — miles. The NBA, which has reportedly (though not officially) endorsed Memphis, has given us just another inch for our ruler.

But you know what they say about inches and miles. Maybe, just maybe, we need to take this leap. All it would take is a commitment from the city and the rest are details.

With all the geometry, it doesn’t take a mathematician to see that it’s the right fit.