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We Recommend We Recommend

thursday, 28

Let me just say that at this moment I am writing this at some sort of cyber cafe in the heart of the French Quarter in New Orleans, having missed my train home and having met some people you simply would not believe and having just taken my self off a barstool at a bar that spins around in circles while you re not watching so that when you come back from the restroom the said barstool is far away from the place where you were sit-ting when you left for said restroom in what ev er pursuit you were in oh, hell. I have no idea what I am talking about! None what so ever. And if you think you can get off a spin ning car ou sel bar and do any better, then I en cour age you to take the rock to the hole and give it your best shot. In the meantime, let me say that this thing with Daniel Pearl pretty much has me more upset than anything that s happened to any one from this coun try or any other in a very, very long time. I am having a very hard time not crying un con trol la bly about this. That s just me.

And then, just when I thought I d seen everything, including the recent erection of a 16-foot concrete bust of George W. Bush at least they got the brain matter right here comes the administration announc ing, at least in one headline from The New York Times News Service, that the Pentagon Vows Not to Spread Lies. Charming, eh? I guess that means they are going to fina ly release the real truth on old George choking on that pretzel (can you say drunk?) and passing out, not to mention the fact that he s not really the president. But isn t it good news that the Pentagon s new Office of Strategic Influence has decided not to spread wild lies to other parts of the world to promote American views? How kind of them.

Now I guess they ll have to ditch all those plans to let the world know what a bunch of hotheads those feisty Canadians are. Or do away with the project of dropping leaflets all over Europe bearing the message Our president is smart, no matter what you ninnies think!

And speaking of which, how scary is it that he is being allowed to tour Asia, representing all of us here? I especial ly love the idea of him addressing the Japanese Diet. Apparent ly no one told him that was the name of the parliament, because one of his first comments was On the one side of the parallel we have people starving to death because their nation chooses to build weap ons of mass destruction and on the other side there is freedom. Yes, that Japanese starvation diet is a real booger.

At least he didn t say How come y all eat all that raw fish and seaweed over here?! Ehk! We don t go in for that kind of stuff back in Texas! Y all need to scarf down some of that there chili con carne and put some meat on your bones! Look at my momma. She don t eat that raw fish mess and she sure ain t starvin ! That wouldn t have been nearly as bad as the comment he half-shouted during a Japanese religious ceremony hosted for him: Oh, yeah! Good one, George.

Tonight at ArtFarm Gallery there s a closing reception for Liquid Steel, works by Teresa White, Joseph Young, Stacey Zuria, Rob Zuria, and Jason Shackelford. Tonight s Bamboo to Buzzsaws percussion concert at the Buckman Performing & Fine Arts Center features Othar Turner and the Rising Star Fife and Drum Band along with Recycled Percussion. Eighty-Katie at the Lounge tonight. There s live jazz at CafÇ Zanzibar. Fred Whitber & the Rusty Lemon Acoustic Duo are at Alex s. The Subteens, Sal Si Puedes, and Automusik are at Young Avenue Deli. And George Strait is at The Pyramid.

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Sports Sports Feature

MEMPHIS SPORTS SCENE

This week, a touch of commentary on a topic that will not die: Is Memphis getting shafted/shafting itself with the Grizzlies. Here’s a letter from one reader, Chris Decker. No relation to yours truly. Decker is trying to give some insight into how and why companies might not be able or willing to fulfill their ends of a deal involving about 5,000 season tickets to Grizzlies games for the next 15 years.

Chris, Never written in before, but saw an opening here with the Grizzlies. It isn’t exactly news anymore that the city will not be receiving help from area businesses with the 5000 ticket a season commitment to ensure that the Grizzlies can’t leave for 15 years; however, I think the explanation the public is getting, from the city, the team, and, yes, the media is very suspicious, and is an example of the underlying general corruption of the local govt’s role in the deal. By the way, I’m glad we have the team, and don’t mind the general public paying their share-especially with money we’d waste on hopeless schools, but it’s just becoming increasingly obvious that we’ll all be getting ripped off for quite some time by our elected officials who are dedicated to not serving the public’s financial interest. Anyway, I digress. I don’t even mind corrupt officials.

I’m an accountant, and the explanation that business won’t commit to ticket purchases because of the financial reporting liability is either just wrong or not the whole story. I’m sure you guys have had this explained to you before, but I’ll do it again. US businesses report their earnings results and financial position based on a collection of rules known as GAAP, Generally Accepted Accounting Principles. As you might be hearing about with Enron, the balance sheet and its corresponding statement of a firm’s liabilities is a very important piece of a firm’s financial reporting package for any investor, analyst, regulator, etc.

Someone is telling you guys that the business commitment fell through because the companies involved don’t want to have to record the ticket purchase commitment as a liability, today, on the balance sheet and a corresponding non-cash charge to income. It is true that under GAAP, the companies in question would, today, potentially have to record the entire 14 year’s remaining ticket purchases as a liability on the balance sheet because it is both a financially estimable and reasonably probable occurrence that the purchase commitment might be called on by the city( actually, it’s pretty much certain based on this year’s attendance).

So, the liability has to go on the books. That much is true. HOWEVER, I don’t think you guys understand just how big some of the local companies are. The biggest company with a significant presence in Memphis is easily International Paper, with around 27-30 Billion a year in sales. Then you have FEDEX in the low 20’s. AutoZone, Thomas and Betts, and Storage USA which are also large, publicly traded companies in Memphis. And there are obviously dozens of other companies you could expect to be involved in a potential ticket drive, if there really ever was a serious one. So, just say that IP, because it’s so big, was on the hook for 750 of these 5000 tickets. For the remaining 14 seasons, and at a bulk purchase cost of 400.00( 40 games x 10 bucks a ticket) a year per season ticket. That’s 15% of the 5000 for one company alone by the way. If IP was going to record that liability today, it would appear on the balance sheet, this year, as a 4.2 million dollar item. A lot, right? No, if you looked at IP’s balance sheet, you would see 10’s of BILLIONS of dollars in liabilities for various things from pensions to payables to plant closing costs. 4.2MM is not even big enough to be a drop in the bucket, and that 4.2MM would be getting smaller every year as the commitment aged or was exercised. A company of IP’s size would not be concerned about something as small as 4.2MM. A company of IP’s size would not even skip a beat if you put the entire 250MM cost of the stadium on the balance sheet. And what about the expense of buying the tickets? Just say IP ended up actually buying all the tickets-not entirely probable because I don’t think the city will actually have to buy the full 5000 every year, but, just use worst case scenario- that would only be an expense of about $300,000 per year. ON 30 BILLION IN SALES. Not even big enough to get lost in rounding. And the company will sell many of these tickets back to their employees, so they’d get a lot of that money back, anyway. You can repeat this example, scaled down, for any company you care to.

Sorry if I bored you, but my point is that I don’t think anyone connected with the financing deal for the stadium ever seriously asked these companies for the help with tickets. They just said they did to calm certain elected officials and other people down. These companies would have easily gone along. For the possibility of a few hundred thousand bucks a year, or much, much less in most occasions, spread way out into the future, they could have extracted all sorts of other favors out of these officials. That’s the logic the businesses would use.

Maybe the city would have had problems with getting all 5000 tickets, unlikely, but they certainly could get 3500 or 4000. But we actually have none. This just doesn’t add up. Much like all the minority vendor compliance, facility management, stadium location, etc. issues that just defy common financial logic when truly examined don’t add up. I know there’s nothing we can do about it now, not that I even want to-because I do want the team-even with all the corresponding costs, but I just get mad when the parties involved provide stupid answers to serious questions because they realize how stupid MOST of the public around here is. I thought that by chiming in on this issue you’d have something to take back to the people that told you the companies were scared off by the liability issue on the ticket commitment, because that can’t be the reason. I think they were lying in the first place. For some reason, these companies were never even asked.— Chris Decker

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News News Feature

TRANSLATION: MEMPHIS

When I was about fourteen or so, sequestered away in the confines of the Pine Barrens at the Jersey Shore, I had one of the most vivid dreams that I can remember. In the dream, I was on a houseboat floating through a super thick night on what I knew in dream language was the Mississippi.

Just barely, I could make out thick swampy trees overhead. The sky was perfect black. Around me, there was a group of people, and all of us were silently lighting tiny white votive candles and setting them afloat in the water. The light just barely illuminated the water around the boat, and there was an aura to the dream that I definitely didn’t know from my hometown.

Years later, in a bout of fiscal irresponsibility, I decided to take a trip cross-country. It was just before my last year of college, and thinking it a good idea to spend every penny I had before the year started, I swung a big loop around the good ole’ U. S. of A. Eventually, this led me to New Orleans. Ahhh, New Orleans. If you think about places in terms of vibes, the city, as you probably know, is crawling with them. Rolling into town, they washed over me in a way that only happened again when I first landed in Memphis.

While in New Orleans, I pretty much just wandered around aimlessly. My shoestring budget was painfully frayed at this point, as in well below the zero mark, but I still wanted to check out the shadows of the city, and wasn’t that what credit cards were for? Eventually, this fiscal misjudgment led me to Mary Leveau’s House of Voodoo, a smallish museum dedicated to the practice and history of the faith. For a small price, you can tour the museum, which is essentially two rooms, a space to watch films, and a library. So I went in, paid the $5, or whatever it was, and readied myself to learn something about the mystique of voodoo.

The second I walked into the museum, I got a mild shock. Literally, the first thing in the entire place, just past the entrance and to the right, was a painting of a body of water at night, filled to the brim with white candles. Spooky, eh? The caption beneath the picture explained that the lighting of white votives is a voodoo ritual used to ward off evil spirits and bad energies. Well, well, well, I thought, thrown back to the dream I had remembered from my teenage years. Synchronicity at work.

After that, I meandered through the room’s cases of voodoo dolls and various totems, and then settled in to watch the film that the museum showed as part of the tour. The theme was, of course, the origins of voodoo, and the role of Mary Leveau in spreading and defining the faith. During the course of the movie, my esoteric juices flowing, I started indulging in all sorts of pan-ultimate thoughts and conjectures.

Places like that will do that to you, and I figure why not let them? It’s much more fun that way. So, I thought, getting all excited, that I had figured it all out! Will things to be through focused energy, and you will make it happen.

When the film was through, I stepped into the small library in the back of the museum. Behind this room, was an even smaller office space, in which a very old woman sat and stared at me. I mean stared. Perhaps it’s just a ploy to make the museum seem more authentic, I thought, and tried to ignore her, even as her eyes were burning holes into my back.

To break the tension, I grabbed a random book off of the shelf and opened it to a middle page. And of course, to completely seal my already growing sense of discomfort and intrigue, my “realization” about willful energy was repeated in the first paragraph of the page at hand. AHH! Freaky.

So I guess you can say that I have a fascination with the offbeat. As I said before, Memphis is the only place other than New Orleans where I’ve sensed the energy that I remember from my childhood dream. Funny that I ended up here. There have been several strange days and nights since I’ve set up camp as a Memphian. Last October, on Friday the Thirteenth, my friends and I were drinking Chartreuse and stumbled upon the evidence of an attempted suicide (luckily unsuccessful) in their back house. It was still there in the morning, in case you were wondering.

I’ve also found myself surrounded with some of the most creative people that I have ever known, which makes me wonder if my pre-pubescent dream was some sort of sign. Things will happen in Memphis, if you let them. Pondering all of this creepy stuff, I stopped into Ebbo’s Spiritual Supply House on Madison this week. If you’re curious about alternative religion in Memphis, this would be a good place to start your inquiry. The place is filled to its smallish brim with candles, incense, and just about every herb you could possibly imagine. Filling out the store are several altars dedicated to several of the orishas, or spirits, of Santeria.

After browsing about for a bit, I selected several books about Santeria, which I remember as interesting from a history class I took in college, and a bottle of “road-opener” oil. For two dollars, I figured I’d give the oil, which is just a sweet-scented substance with two fluorescent orange things in the bottom, a shot. Besides, my allergies prevent me from wearing perfume, so natural oils are the only scents I can wear.

When I was paying for all of this, the guy behind the counter was pretty knowledgeable, and happy to talk to me about what he knew about Santeria. He explained the alters in the store, and their associated deities. He also warned that if one decides to set up such altars at home, they must be careful not to select opposing deities, as that creates bad luck and energy.

While I take all of this somewhat in stride, I do find it fascinating to explore. Surely, many of the formative identities of Memphis, explored this as well, as evidenced by the information on hoodoo and the blues. My philosophy is that if it’s there, why not learn about it. So maybe tonight I’ll sit home, light a candle, listen to the Exuma tracks I downloaded off the Internet, and focus on opening my roads. I’ll let you know where it takes me.

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News News Feature

CITY BEAT

Shelby County Mayor Jim Rout is the most effective and enthusiastic public proponent of the new arena.

Is that good news? After all, Rout, by his own decision, is leaving office later this year, a full two years before the new arena is scheduled to open. But give him this. It looks like he in tends to run all the way to the finish line.

He did it again Monday, facing a roomful of skeptical county commissioners and helping to derail a proposal to hire more financial consult ants.

A smile on his face as usual, Rout deftly worked the room with a handshake for everyone. Then he sat down at a table opposite the commissioners, fielding some questions himself, passing others off to various experts. He promised to make everything public. He apologized for commissioners being scooped by The Commercial Appeal on some Public Building Authority news last month.

He noted the stellar play of Grizzlies rookies Pau Gasol and Shane Battier and some recent favorable national publicity about Memphis and the team.

And he said the revenue projections for the arena are on target. There is no fence-straddling by Rout on this one. Along with Mayor Willie Herenton, Rout seems to be one of the few public officials who is a genuine fan of both the team and the arena. Unlike Herenton, there is no defensiveness about his pitch, no edge to it, no digs at “naysayers” or arena critics like commissioner Walter Bailey.

Rout is an exclamation point in the middle of a bunch of question marks.

On the commission, Bailey seems likely to vote against issuing the bonds. Michael Hooks complained about “lousy” marketing by the Grizzlies and noted a few consistently empty sky boxes and thousands of empty seats. Nobody else on the commission seemed particularly enthusiastic or particularly skeptical. There were no testimonials and no rants. Zoning permits have aroused more passion.

In a quarter century in county government, this could be Rout’s last star ring role. He answered many of the questions about the arena raised in various quarters last week, or he referred them to someone else who answered them — consultant Marlin Mosby, Finance Director John Trusty, or Don Smith of the Public Building Authority (PBA).

Rental car revenue is ahead of projections because of huge demand in September when the airlines shut down.

Downtown Tourism Development Zone revenues are building up a nice little surplus because the arena gets the tax increment above a low base year.

Rout met with the governor last week, and $20 million in state assistance (or possibly federal funds funneled through the state Department of Transportation) should be locked in with in a week or two. The General Assembly does not have to approve it.

The $20 million in privately backed bonds will be placed.

And there will be some sort of substitute for the defunct season ticket guarantee by private businesses.

“They are understanding that they must bring some sort of alternative,” said Rout.

One question Rout could not answer is the percentage of the team that is Memphis owned. He said it is between roughly 30 and 49 per cent. Michael Heisley is the majority owner. But Rout deflected concerns about the team moving from Memphis by citing contractual provisions locking the Grizzlies in for 13 years and forcing them to pay off millions of dollars in bonds if they move after that.

State Sen. John Ford made a cameo appearance at the meeting to assure one and all that the PBA is alive and well and perfectly capable of providing scrutiny and oversight. Shelby County mayoral candidate A C Wharton came in briefly and sat and watched. The arena could be his baby after Rout leaves.

Commissioner Tommy Hart broached the $250 million hanging question, asking what would happen to the contracts signed so far “assuming it does not go forward.” Smith said the $17 mil lion in contracts could be cancelled. That was as far as that line of inquiry went, although privately one county official suggested paying the Grizzlies the difference in revenue projections for the new arena and The Pyramid and not building anything.

The critical date for the commission to give final approval is April 8.

At the rate they’re going, the Grizzlies will be down to six healthy players by then. The team, which has won 15 games, fielded eight healthy bodies this week. Help is not necessarily on the way. The Grizzlies owe a first-round draft choice this year or next to the Detroit Pistons. NBA action regularly fills only 12,500 seats at The Pyramid, which is far better than two other southern cities, Charlotte and Atlanta.

In Atlanta Sunday, sportswriter Mark Bradley of the Journal-Constitution wrote, “As it is, the team (Atlanta Hawks) draws nobody. The Marietta Blue Devils have a more passionate fan base.”

Under the circumstances, selling a new arena to Memphis to replace The Pyramid which has served it well for about $70 million has been no small accomplishment. On Tuesday it will be the City Council’s turn to go through the financials with the consultants and Mayor Herenton.

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News

BYRD EXITS MAYOR’S RACE!

Bartlett banker Harold Byrd formally dropped out of the Shelby County Mayor’s race Thursday, just before the noon withdrawal deadline at the Shelby County Election Commission.

Byrd’s action will, in the opinion of most observers, virtually assure Public Defender A C Wharton the Democratic nomination for mayor, although an underfunded but determined State Rep. Carol Chumney remains in the race — despite last-minute efforts by Byrd to persuade her to withdraw instead..

Byrd’s decision to withdraw followed receipt Tuesday of a fresh voter survey by his Washington-based pollster, whose findings were that Wharton had a significant lead and was guaranteed victory in a three-candidate primary.

The prospective vote totals of Byrd and Chumney, however, added up more than Wharton’s total; so Byrd resolved to try to persuade Chumney , whose figures in the poll were similar to his own, to withdraw.

This approach culminated in a two-hour conversation between the two Thursday morning — after which Chumney, despite what was said to be some wavering, resolved to continue.

Her decision resulted in Byrd’s own decision to withdraw, roughly an hour before the deadline.

There were no withdrawals on the Republican side of the mayoral race, with both State Representative Larry Scroggs and radiologist/radio magnate George Flinn staying in.

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News The Fly-By

FIRE IN THE HOLE

When you are conducting a campaign against the forces of darkness, details mean everything. After players nt he golf course at the Millington naval base reporrted “slow players” — sometimes referred to as “evil golfers” — modern technology was deployed. A global positioning system was installed in golf carts to help clubhouse officials hunt down and eliminate unpunctual putters. This is modern golf and it can’t be played in a conventional manner. Civilian courses have been experimenting with the GPS for years now, while our military, due to poor funding during the Clinton administration, lagged behind. Partisan squabbling over the implementation of a satellite-based “sand trap defense system” continues to rage in the 19th hole.

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News The Fly-By

THE WEENIE BITES BACK!

Hey, look-it, everybody, here comes the big wiener wagon pulling into traffic. Yay, hooray! Big wiener wagon!

Oh, look. There goes the big wiener wagon. It s moving on down the road. Bye bye, big wiener wagon, bye bye. We love you, big wiener wagon! Come back soon!

Uh-oh, maybe we should have been looking at the road instead of watching the big wiener wagon. The big wiener wagon is stupid. We hate the big wiener wagon now. Dumb old wiener wagon!

A special thanks to faithful Fly fan Rik Anderson for the photos. We ll be sending him a fancy-schmancy Commercial Appeal umbrella. Not.

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We Recommend We Recommend

wednesday, 27

Bobby Memphis along with Fred Whitber and Bumpercrop at the Memphis Troubadours Acoustic Showcase at the Lounge. And now I must go before a house falls on me. As always, I really don t care what you do this week, because I don t even know you, and unless you can get Matt to ditch the oversized fleece, I feel certain I don t want to meet you. Besides, it s time for me blow this dump and go see if I can get the commentators to transfer the phrase take the rock to the hole from basketball to those wild and wacky luge doubles.

T.S.

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Politics Politics Beat Blog

ON THEIR MARK: MAYOR’S RACE

On the Democratic mayoral front, it’s still a three-way struggle between Public Defender A C Wharton, Bartlett banker Harold Byrd, and State Representative Carol Chumney. Wharton’s camp — candidate, entourage, and all — exudes a confidence that could, in the end, be self-limiting.

At the opening of his Poplar Avenue headquarters on Saturday, Wharton exhorted his crowd (several hundred strong, but containing no notable new faces) with thoughts about victory and of “progress” for Shelby County but avoided mention of any issues or other particulars.

As before, the chief plank in Wharton’s platform would seem to be himself — a smooth, likeable, reassuring presence, but one with a rhetoric that so far is skating lightly on the surface of eggs..

During the previous week a member of Wharton’s campaign team fretted abut an “image problem” and confided his fears that the candidate might be taking his African-American base for granted,. He noted the continued courtship of black ministers by opponent Byrd, who indeed scheduled a “Ministers’ Luncheon” as such for this week.

Despite occasional reports from his own camp that he intends some hard-hitting issues-talk, Byrd himself has tended so far to be somewhat unspecific, although at a recent, well-attended women’s luncheon he promised an array of “position papers” and uttered some cautious grace notes about Memphis Mayor Willie Herenton‘s proposals for city/county consolidation.

Chumney, meanwhile, has her endorsements — from the AFL-CIO and from the Women’s Caucus, among others — and is pursuing a strategy of direct advocacy for positions, including those of consolidation and programmed debt-reduction.

On the Republican side, most party cadres are still lined up solidly with State Representative Larry Scroggs, who — along with Chumney — has been freshly empowered by new legislation, signed week before last by Governor Don Sundquist, that eases restrictions on in-session fundraising for members of the General Assembly, who are now allowed to raise money for local races.

Especially considering that the legislature — hung up as always in a budget-plan stalemate — is now in the second week of a three-week hiatus, that should generate some immediate fundraising activity on the part of Scroggs and Chumney, both of whom are facing opponents with fatter war chests.

In Scroggs’ case, that’s George Flinn, the radiologist and broadcasting magnate, who is prepared to open his considerable private cashbox wide — to the tune of half a million dollars in the primary alone, “or more if the situation requires it,” according to campaign chairman Phil Langsdon. Much of that would presumably be used for newspaper and broadcast advertising — the “air war,” as it is referred to in political-campaign lingo. The Flinn campaign has also hired as campaign manager Ruth Ogles, who ran a respectable race of her own for the Memphis school board in 2000.

Categories
News The Fly-By

THE WEENIE BITES BACK!

Hey, look-it, everybody, here comes the big wiener wagon pulling into traffic. Yay, hooray! Big wiener wagon!

Oh, look. There goes the big wiener wagon. It s moving on down the road. Bye bye, big wiener wagon, bye bye. We love you, big wiener wagon! Come back soon!

Uh-oh, maybe we should have been looking at the road instead of watching the big wiener wagon. The big wiener wagon is stupid. We hate the big wiener wagon now. Dumb old wiener wagon!

A special thanks to faithful Fly fan Rik Anderson for the photos. We ll be sending him a fancy-schmancy Commercial Appeal umbrella. Not.