Month: September 2001

Categories
News News Feature

FALLING INTO DISGRACELAND

Well, here we are in September. FatherÕs Day has blown on past; the Fourth of July has come and gone; and even Labor Day has reared its ugly head. Summer is officially over.

This year IÕm more upset about autumnÕs approach than usual (it doesnÕt help that this is the first year IÕve been in the same full time job both before, during, and after the season). IÕve gone to the barbecues and the beaches; IÕve done the summer sales. But thereÕs something summery still missing, something summery IÕm still waiting for: the blockbuster movie.

DonÕt even try to tell me it was Rush Hour 2. A sequel cannot, by law, be the summer blockbuster. And it certainly wasnÕt Tomb Raider, Pearl Harbor, or Planet of the Apes. I saw those, and no. It doesnÕt matter how many Angelina Jolies, Ben Afflecks, or Mark Wahlbergs you have, those movies were not what I was looking for.

IÕm something of a movie junkie (I really need those hour and forty-eight minute breaks from myself). And I pretty much like anything, especially if itÕs accompanied with popcorn. IÕll watch indie films and teenybopper flicks and my guilty pleasure are those really dumb movies that center on what I call Òthe dancing and the kissingÓ (think Center Stage or Coyote Ugly). The only thing I canÕt watch — especially not in theaters — are horror movies (I tend to want to jump up and run around). Anyway, the other day IÕm in a theater, waiting for my feature presentation when thereÕs a trailer for Serendipity, a movie with John Cusack and Kate Beckingsale. Now I actually want to see this movie — I think it looks cute and it doesnÕt hurt that John Cusack and Jeremy Piven are in it. But, as the trailer was ending, a baritone voice rang out in the dark: ÒI love romantic comedy.Ó

Exactly.

This guy was being sarcastic (I assume, because he and his friend started laughing) and he was totally right. Romantic comedy sucks. I wish that wouldnÕt be a genre anymore. Yes, I want my movies to have dashing leading men, and it would be nice if there were some sort of love thang going on, but a good movie needs so much more (I think anyway). Like a plot. Or a sense of humor. Maybe even heart, intelligence, a really good car chase, and explosions out the wazoo.

In short, I want Independence Day. Armageddon. The Matrix.

Nothing even came close. I mean, sure, there were films this summer I enjoyed, films I would even watch again (this is the sole standard I hold to the products of Hollywood), but nothing that really sung.

I thought Legally Blonde was cute — of course in all disclosure, MGM blonded me. And AmericaÕs Sweethearts was sort of entertaining, if you forgive the complete lack of chemistry between Cusack and Julia Roberts. And I have it on good authority — my friends in the biz — that The Princess Diaries, a G-rated film about a girl who finds out sheÕs a real live princess, has had one of the longest runs of the summer (hey, it was directed by Garry Marshall, who did Pretty Woman).

This summer has been a revolving door of mediocre offerings. Curse of the Jade Scorpion, Captain CorrelliÕs Mandolin, Summer Catch. Okay, I havenÕt seen these movies, so it might be unfair for me to call them mediocre, but just listen to the names. No one is going to go see those, and I have to say a summer blockbuster sort of implies a box office draw.

Maybe IÕm just getting crotchety in my old age. I think the radio sucks, too, but I havenÕt railed against it recently. Although I know why the radio sucks — because people pay to have their songs played. I guess that begs the question, who is paying to have these movies shown? And why? ItÕs not like thereÕs an album I can buy like with songs on the radio.

Or did the writersÕ strike actually happen, but was covered up by Hollywood insiders so no one would feel sorry for the poor writers who get a pittance of what Tom Hanks makes? And then the writers were replaced with typing monkeys who came up with Crazy Beautiful.

Or is the quality of movies generally declining? Television seems pretty good now — although itÕs been a while since the last season so maybe IÕm remembering it in a rose colored haze — maybe all the good movie people have skipped the big screen for the small.

IÕm going to settle for the most optimistic theory. One that says there wasnÕt a writersÕ strike, that the general quality of movies is the same, and that there are talented people working in every aspect of the entertainment industry. IÕm choosing to believe that the writers were just trying to prove what would happen if they ever did go on strike. A gentle threat of what could be, like when Glenn Close got to bunny boiling in Fatal Attraction.

Either that or they were too preoccupied with finding temporary employment if the strike did happen. LetÕs just hope everything will be back to normal by Christmas.

Categories
Sports Sports Feature

TIGERS HANDLE MOCS

A sloppy University of Memphis Tiger defense couldn’t stop Memphis from running up the score against NCAA Division I AA University of Tennessee, Chattanooga, as the Tigers marked their first win of the 2001 season, 43-10.

The Tigers totaled an appalling 13 penalties for 110 yards over the game, with the defense accounting for most of them. The Tiger offense earned better numbers, but was still sporadic, sometimes gaining big yardage and other times looking nearly incompetent, but still earning 245 yards on the ground and 198 yards from the passing game.

Tiger running back Dontae Walker had a big night, with runs of 62 and then 26 yards. The latter came on a Tiger QB Travis Anglin completion and resulted in a touchdown. Walker also ran in a five yard touchdown in the second quarter. Walker ended the night with 18 runs for 158 yards.

Anglin took advantage of the weak UTC defense passing 22 times for 15 completions, and 145 yards. Anglin also tossed in that one touchdown pass to Walker. Anglin balanced his attack by running the ball at his discretion, rushing 17 times for 78 yards, and two rushing touchdowns. The first came in the first quarter on a 2 yard run and the second came in the fourth quarter from 15 yards out, but against a tired UTC defense.

The other Tiger scores came on a safety by Tiger linebacker Coot Terry in the second quarter and on a recovered Tiger fumble by receiver Tripp Higgens on the UTC one yard line which Higgens then dove in for a score. The Tigers scored one more time in the fourth on a 12 yard pass from QB Neil Suber to receiver Tavariuo Davis.

Though physically beaten by the bigger and stronger Tiger defense, the Mocs did manage 10 points on a 34 yard field goal from the Mocs’ kicker, Ben Thompson, and then a one yard touchdown run by Mocs running back Jason Ball late in the 2nd quarter from five yards out. Mocs QB Chuck Spearman threw the ball 35 times for 17 completions and 180 yards. Ball ended the day with 24 yards on 16 runs and his one score. This is in stark contrast to Ball’s 130 yard rushing performance against fellow NCAA I AA member Samford in UTC’s first game of the season.

UTC ended the night with 30 yards rushing and 201 yards passing.

The win pulls Memphis even at 1-1 for the young season. The loss drops UTC to 1-1. The Tigers take next week off on a bye before playing South Florida at home on September 22.

Categories
Politics Politics Beat Blog

SUNDQUIST A BURDEN FOR THE GOP, HILLEARY SUGGESTS

U.S. Rep. Van Hilleary (R-4th), the consensus favorite to become the Republican nominee for governor of Tennessee next year, continues to speak of the administration of the man he wants to succeed, Governor Don Sundquist, as a handicap to GOP efforts to hold on to the statehouse.

In an interview two weeks ago when Hilleary was in town to address the East Shelby Republican Club’s Master Meal, the congressman and former Gulf War combat pilot spoke directly to the “divisive” nature of Sundquist’s backing of an income tax. Speaking Saturday to attendees of the Dutch Treat Luncheon at the Audobon Cafe on Park Ave., Hilleary was somewhat more circumspect.

“Electability will be an issue for Republicans,” Hilleary said, “considering the way things have been done the last few years.”

He would not elaborate on the reference afterward, but everyone asked about the remark — event co-chairmen Ed McAteer and Charles Peete, for example — said it was clear he meant Sundquist would be a handicap to the Republican nomineee.

The subject of electability loomed large for Hilleary. He seemed to be making a point of addressing fears that have been expressed in some circles that he, though far ahead of any conceivable Republican opponent in both fundraising and political support, might not be competitive enough against former Nashville Mayor Phil Bredesen, the likely Democratic nominee.

“How are you going to address that and still win?” the congressman asked rhetorically after invoking the specter of Sundquist and his espousal of an income tax. Saying “I love to be a risk tasker, but I have no intention of being a kamikaze pilot,” he then went on to enumerate reasons why he is confident of victory.

Reason One was that Ed Bryant, the incumbent Republican congressman in Tennessee’s 7th district, got fully 50 percent of his vote for the Shelby County suburbs, and Hilleary suggested he would do as well. “It’s a very Republican district.” He then pointed out that the state’s three easternmost congressional districts were died-in-the-woll Republican ones and that in his own 4th district he had carried all the counties that former Vice President Al Gore had in his 2000 presidential campaign.

Add to that the fact that the remaining districts, except for the 5th (Nashville) and the 9th (inner-city Memphis) were either going upscale in a way that was good for Republican candidates or were conservative and rural, and the odds were good for a conservative Republican candidacy like his own, Hilleary suggested — especially since, as he made it clear, he intended to paint Bredesen as a tax-and-spend elitist Democrat.

Issues addressed by Hilleary at the luncheon included: education, which he named as his priority and which, he said, had to be freed from the control of teachers’ unions and dosed with accountability standards; TennCare, which had to be ratcheted down from benefit levels which made it too attractive for would-be patients, including many in other states, and too expensive for the state to administer; campaign-finance reform, which he said was unsatisfactorily addressed in the current McCain-Feingold bill, which gave workers no redress as to how their unions chose to make candidate donations; and, of course, a state income tax, which he opposes and which he called “the type of tax that interferes with your life the most.”

Categories
News News Feature

HOW IT LOOKS

Categories
Politics Politics Beat Blog

A ROAD SHOW WORTH SEEING

It is reasonably well known that U.S. Rep. Harold Ford Jr. of Memphis’ 9th congressional district has become a big-time player in the cathode-tube universe of Inside-the-Beltway Washington. What is not so widely known is some of the dramas the 31-year-old third-term congressman has played in.

A road-show version of one of them, called “Campaign-Finance Reform,” came to town Friday, and a good time was hand by all, despite the absence, due to a prostate operation, of the drama’s main player, Senator John McCain (who, said Ford at one point with respectful irreverence, “is the one that sucks up all the air time”).

The other familiar cable-news faces were there, however Ð Sen. Russ Feingoldthe Senate co-sponsor, with McCain of the major extant reform bill, McCain-Feingold; Reps. Chris Shays (R-Ct.) and Martin Meehan (D-Mass.), sponsors of the companion House bill Ð along with two not-so-familiar ones, Rep. John Lewis (D-Ga.), a legendary veteran of the Civil Rights movement; Rep. Marion Berry(D-Ark.); and Scott Harshbarger, head of Common Cause.

All had their moments in the presentation of the common cause, which was, of course, the bill to ban impose strict limits on the cornucopic, corporate-tainted Òsoft moneyÓ which the sponsors all feel restricts the civil rights of ordinary Americans and favors special interests.

(A full report will be posted Saturday)

Categories
Film Features Film/TV

THE STORY OF O

Nearly four years after its original release date O — a contemporary retelling of Shakespeare’s Othello directed by Tim Blake Nelson (You know him as Delmar in O Brother Where Art Thou?) — has finally

opened on 150 screens around the country.

The story, which ends with a spate of killings by a handful of teenagers, was pulled from

release in 1998 after the Columbine shootings. Its release was delayed yet again after similar

shootings in Santee, CA. The multiple shelvings of this project certainly make it seem as if the notoriously, ?who me?? Hollywood has a real conscious after all, but more than likely the delays were an act of self preservation to stave off inevitable if dubious accusations that the excessive violence of America?s entertainment

culture is at least partly if not entirely to blame for so much real world bloodshed.

No doubt Lion?s Gate execs feared that like the

wrongfully vilified Fight Club ?a film where only one person dies and that death changes everything?O would become a fetish item for tinseltown?s semi-annual bout of self flagellation. And while there is an irksome quality to much of the glorified violence that spills out of southern California O is not your garden variety high school shoot-em-up. In fact, had the film been released after Columbine it might have gone a long way to answer all the dangling, ?Whys? that surrounded that horrible event.

The ancient Greeks ascribed a certain medicinal quality to tragedy and O is every bit as classical as it is contemporary. An as-scheduled release amid the media whirlwind that was Columbine might have spawned useful debate. It could have become a part of the healing process. It might have helped other disenfranchised teens to see that their plight was neither new nor singular, reducing the number of copycat shootings.

Or not. Either way there has not been a better examination of the dark, seemingly invisible forces that lead

teens to take up arms against a sea of troubles to oppose and ultimately end them. If

anything, O?s conclusion is a pill too true and too bitter for most adults to swallow. It shows clearly how the status quo established by

adults ? a random system of neototalitarian rewards which glorify such ultimately unimportant things as wealth, physical beauty and athletic

prowess beyond measure ? establishes volatile and dangerously oppressive hierarchies resplendent with cruelty, and bristling with violent

opportunity.

Anyone who has lived through high school will recognize every unsettling moment. Nothing has been exaggerated and it is this straight up portrait of true teen angst and its ?say it ain?t so? origins that makes O more terrifying than any beasty Stephen King

ever conjured. Students of Shakespeare will also be delighted by the fact that while all of the language has been made contemporary and certain liberties have been taken in adaptation, the film is true in every way to the source material. It is

the finest big screen adaptation of Shakespeare to date. In some ways ? dare I say it ? for

modern audiences it is a less eloquent improvement over the original.

O tells the story of a promising black athlete named Odin

who has been recruited to play basketball for an exclusive and otherwise white southern

prep school with a winning tradition. The power structure in place could not more closely resemble that of Shakespeare?s Venice. Desdemona?s

father Barbantio, a man of great influence, becomes the dean of students. The Duke becomes Coach Duke. Iago (Hugo in this adaptation, excellently played by Josh Hartnett becomes Duke?s slighted son, an able and underrated power

forward consumed by the jealousy his own father has set into motion. Othello/Odin (Mekhi ?just give me the damn Oscar? Phifer) is a sensitive

black beauty, brilliant point guard, gracious MVP and able team captain who is ass over elbow in love with the lovely, lovable and oh-so lilly

white Desi/Desdemona (Julia ?No, give me the damn Oscar? Stiles).

The tension lines could not be more perfectly drawn. Coach Duke (an over-the-top Martin Sheen doing his best Bobby Knight) is an abrasive leader for whom winning is the only thing. He continues to praise and protect Odin while neglecting his son who struggles for his attention and affections. Desolate, disconsolate, and wise beyond his years Hugo plays the existing power structure like a Stradivarius. He convinces Odin that Desi is cheating on him with Michael Cassio (Andrew Keegan) and that the secret lovebirds call him ?the nigger? behind his back. Odin tries to be

rational, but as Hugo?s plan unfolds he is torn apart by the same green-eyed bugaboo that fueled Shakespeare?s original.

The story?s most potent element comes in the form of Rodrigo/ Roger

Rodriguez (Elden Henson), a wealthy young student bereft of beauty, ace or skill on the court. He is less the classic, typically laughable

screen geek than an average high school nothing convinced by the ersuasive Hugo that with proper instruction he has a chance to woo and win the beautius Desi. Though Henson?s on screen time is limited it is ime well spent. The rage that bubbles up in his crying eyes as his

oversized ears are thumped red by smarmy preps and cocky jocks is angible and stomach turning. You can taste the bitterness, and it comes

as no surprise that he ends up with a gun in his hand and a bullet in is head. His is the most simple, head splitting portrayal of

potentially homicidal anger since Chris Penn?s chilling appearance in ?s Short Cuts.

The film?s final gruesome scenes though shot simply and without excess gore are often too painful to watch in light of recent tragedies. But as

Odin comes face to face with the truth paraphrasing The Moor of Venice?s final command to ?Tell my story,? it is impossible to turn

away. The rest is, just as Shakespeare wrote it, an awful silence. Hugo, refusing to explain his actions shows more arrogance than remorse.

?Why,? lingers on everyones? lips as eyes dart from side to side looking for someone to blame. Othello is doubtless the most troubling account of

man?s darkest angels in action, and O unflinchingly tells it like it is.

Categories
Politics Politics Beat Blog

JIM KYLE’S COUNTY MAYOR POLL

From: D E C I S I O N R E S E A R C H

CALIFORNIA

WASHINGTON D.C.

MEMORANDUM

To: Senator Jim Kyle

From:

Bob Meadow

Mark Mehringer

Date: August 27, 2001

Subject: Shelby County Polling Results

Our research is completed and we wanted to provide you with a brief statement of our key findings and their implications. These findings are based on 400 completed interviews taken from a sample of likely May, 2002 Democratic Primary election voters in Shelby County, Tennessee. Interviews were conducted August 15, 16, and 18, 2001. Sampling error is +/- 4.9%. Respondents were carefully screened to reflect voters in the May, 2001 Democrat Primary election. Our expectation is that most of the turnout will be limited to those “firm” Democratic voters.

Summary Conclusion:

You lead the field of candidates in the Democratic primary election for Shelby County Mayor, as you are the best-known candidate and have over a four-to-one favorability ratio. Carol Chumney benefits from being the only woman in the race, but still trails you significantly. Byrd is relatively unknown and trails far behind you and also trails Chumney overall.

Other Key Findings:

F The Candidates

Nearly two-thirds of the voters are familiar with you, with four times as many having a favorable impression of you as have an unfavorable impression. Carol Chumney is less known to voters than you are, and Harold Byrd is largely unknown. Byrd also has a much lower favorability ratio.

Your name recognition is bolstered by your strong profile in your Memphis based Senate District. Your image among Democratic voters has improved significantly from when you ran for reelection last year. Your income tax position has not hurt you with key Democratic constituencies and most people have forgotten the “gas” issue. Your favorability rating is especially high among those voters who have heard of all the candidates. Chumney is not as well known among African Americans as you are, and yet black voters will comprise a majority of the primary vote. Byrd’s profile is much weaker in Memphis than in the rest of Shelby County. Because Memphis accounts for 85% of likely Democratic primary voters, your strong Memphis base works to your advantage and against Byrd.

F The Election

When voters are given basic biographical information about the candidates, you lead with over one-third of the vote, followed by Chumney in second and Byrd trailing by a wide margin. Chumney benefits from being the only woman in the race, performing particularly well among young, white women. About one-fifth of her support comes from voters, particularly women, who do not know any of the candidates and likely vote for her only because they want a woman. Over the course of the campaign, this is likely to change if you emphasize women’s issues, your wife’s popularity and the fact you are the only candidate who is married with children. As the candidate raising a young family, you will be able to connect better with voters on important local issues such as schools, crime and taxes. In addition, your vote share is larger among voters who presently recognize all three candidates, which is a reflection of your credibility. Byrd’s support is limited to voters in the Seventh Congressional District outside Memphis and older men, and he performs poorly among most other groups.

Conclusion:

You are the clear front-runner, with the highest name recognition and the broadest base of support. You perform well in both Memphis and the rest of Shelby County. Chumney benefits from being the only woman in the race, leading among voters who do not recognize any of the candidates, but performs poorly outside Memphis. Byrd’s support is limited to suburban Shelby County, and shows little potential in Memphis. Lastly, among voters who know all three candidates, you win.

Call with any questions.

Categories
Politics Politics Beat Blog

CHUMNEY RESPONDS

STATEMENT OF CHUMNEY FOR MAYOR CAMPAIGN

RE: Memorandum to Memphis Flyer by Decision Research for Jim Kyle

While the poll summary release for Jim Kyle in the Memphis Flyer was interesting reading, the noticeable absence from the release of any real numbers as to the actual percentage of voters supporting Carol Chumney in comparison with Jim Kyle shows the strength of her position in the race. But, Carol doesnÕt need Washington and California pollsters to tell her how people in Shelby County think. She looks forward to continuing to hear the opinions of Shelby Countians firsthand in the months ahead.

(Anything you want to say, Harold?)

Categories
News News Feature

MOVIES ON MY MIND

Well, here we are in September. Father’s Day has blown on past; the Fourth of July has come and gone; and even Labor Day has reared its ugly head. Summer is officially over.

This year I’m more upset about autumn’s approach than usual (it doesn’t help that this is the first year I’ve been in the same full time job both before, during, and after the season). I’ve gone to the barbecues and the beaches; I’ve done the summer sales. But there’s something summery still missing, something summery I’m still waiting for: the blockbuster movie.

Don’t even try to tell me it was Rush Hour 2. A sequel cannot, by law, be the summer blockbuster. And it certainly wasn’t Tomb Raider, Pearl Harbor, or Planet of the Apes. I saw those, and no. It doesn’t matter how many Angelina Jolies, Ben Afflecks, or Mark Wahlbergs you have, those movies were not what I was looking for.

I’m something of a movie junkie (I really need those hour and forty-eight minute breaks from myself). And I pretty much like anything, especially if it’s accompanied with popcorn. I’ll watch indie films and teenybopper flicks and my guilty pleasure are those really dumb movies that center on what I call “the dancing and the kissing” (think Center Stage or Coyote Ugly). The only thing I can’t watch — especially not in theaters — are horror movies (I tend to want to jump up and run around). Anyway, the other day I’m in a theater, waiting for my feature presentation when there’s a trailer for Serendipity, a movie with John Cusack and Kate Beckingsale. Now I actually want to see this movie — I think it looks cute and it doesn’t hurt that John Cusack and Jeremy Piven are in it. But, as the trailer was ending, a baritone voice rang out in the dark: “I love romantic comedy.”

Exactly.

This guy was being sarcastic (I assume, because he and his friend started laughing) and he was totally right. Romantic comedy sucks. I wish that wouldn’t be a genre anymore. Yes, I want my movies to have dashing leading men, and it would be nice if there were some sort of love thang going on, but a good movie needs so much more (I think anyway). Like a plot. Or a sense of humor. Maybe even heart, intelligence, a really good car chase, and explosions out the wazoo.

In short, I want Independence Day. Armageddon. The Matrix.

Nothing even came close. I mean, sure, there were films this summer I enjoyed, films I would even watch again (this is the sole standard I hold to the products of Hollywood), but nothing that really sung.

I thought Legally Blonde was cute — of course in all disclosure, MGM blonded me. And America’s Sweethearts was sort of entertaining, if you forgive the complete lack of chemistry between Cusack and Julia Roberts. And I have it on good authority — my friends in the biz — that The Princess Diaries, a G-rated film about a girl who finds out she’s a real live princess, has had one of the longest runs of the summer (hey, it was directed by Garry Marshall, who did Pretty Woman).

This summer has been a revolving door of mediocre offerings. Curse of the Jade Scorpion, Captain Correlli’s Mandolin, Summer Catch. Okay, I haven’t seen these movies, so it might be unfair for me to call them mediocre, but just listen to the names. No one is going to go see those, and I have to say a summer blockbuster sort of implies a box office draw.

Maybe I’m just getting crotchety in my old age. I think the radio sucks, too, but I haven’t railed against it recently. Although I know why the radio sucks — because people pay to have their songs played. I guess that begs the question, who is paying to have these movies shown? And why? It’s not like there’s an album I can buy like with songs on the radio.

Or did the writers’ strike actually happen, but was covered up by Hollywood insiders so no one would feel sorry for the poor writers who get a pittance of what Tom Hanks makes? And then the writers were replaced with typing monkeys who came up with Crazy Beautiful.

Or is the quality of movies generally declining? Television seems pretty good now — although it’s been a while since the last season so maybe I’m remembering it in a rose colored haze — maybe all the good movie people have skipped the big screen for the small.

I’m going to settle for the most optimistic theory. One that says there wasn’t a writers’ strike, that the general quality of movies is the same, and that there are talented people working in every aspect of the entertainment industry. I’m choosing to believe that the writers were just trying to prove what would happen if they ever did go on strike. A gentle threat of what could be, like when Glenn Close got to bunny boiling in Fatal Attraction.

Either that or they were too preoccupied with finding temporary employment if the strike did happen. Let’s just hope everything will be back to normal by Christmas.

Categories
News News Feature

TATOOS AND BANANAS

Don’t get me wrong — I have nothing against body art in general. I do admit a certain grotesque

fascination with such bangles that seem to be a modern form of torture, but only in a method of awe.

Tattoos, however, are rather commonplace these days. Rock stars, athletes and junior high students all sport various surfaces of permanent decoration whose design declares the era of the procedure as fads rage one minute and fade the next. I myself sport such an epidermal ornament, which I definitely enjoy. Never did I ever imagine that aside from general prejudice,

I might be banned from otherwise-public facilities.

A few weeks ago, I relocated to the Kyoto Prefecture of Japan to work as an English teacher for the Kameoka Board of Education. I have spent the time since then trying to furnish my apartment on a meager budget and

find my way around the area. Another new teacher

expressed an interest in joining a gym, so we

dutifully visited the two gyms in town.

After touring the second and gesturing our way through many questions (dictionary in hand) we decided to join.

We made our way through the first form, copying the information from our wallet card. The hostess, then proceeded to open a rules booklet and attempt to convey their meaning to us.

The first rule: no tattoos allowed. I don’t understand, I said (one of the best phrases to know in any language, as important as ‘where is the bathroom.’) Arimasu ka, or literally, does one exist, she inquired, concerned. Hai, arimasu. A frenzy of activity ensued.

Although Japan has less crime than America, there is a sizeable nationwide gang whose members are referred to as “yakuza.” The defining characteristic of these gang members is that they all have a tattoo or two. Thus, many public bathhouses won’t admit anyone with body art. Of this fact I was aware, but of the gym membership rule I was not. No tattoos allowed? Can I

check it at the door?

The hostess and various staff of the gym bustled

around, temporarily flustered by this situation. I was able to pick out a few words and took the liberty of constructing the following river of conversation– “This woman wants to join! She is an English teacher and works for in City Hall, but she has a tattoo! But she is a foreigner, and blond at that; she cannot possible be yakuza. But the rules say, and what if

anybody notices? But it’s not likely to be seen, and she is a foreigner and may be good for business.”

Eventually the hostess came back and murmured

furtively, “It is okay.” Whew. So much for being

truthful about any situation. Behind me a sign

advertising a line of sporting clothing named “Body Art” hung in tribute to a society that cannot understand sarcasm.

But all’s well that ends well, and we procured the

coveted gym membership to the tune of a significant loss to our bank accounts. Sun Sports made an exception for me; they bent the rules a bit to welcome me into their facility, and their way of life. So

anybody who wishes to argue that the Japanese are

stubborn and proud should remember how these people accepted me, despite my differences and potentially threatening mark.

After all, change begins with small

differences being recognized, considered, and perhaps allowed. Oh, and for those of you who were expecting to read about bananas, I would just like to add that the bananas here taste better although they are smaller and more expensive. But that’s okay, I buy

them anyway.

(Emily Bays,a recent intern at the Flyer, moved to Kyoto, Japan, to teach English after her graduation from Rhodes in May. Some weeks back we afforded you another report in this space — from a Memphian now teaching English in Japan — about Memphis-specific T-shirts seen on Osaka subway lines. Clearly, it is our destiny to shed as much light (or tatooed skin) as we can on the inscrutable East.)