Categories
Music Music Features

MORE THAN MODEST

After a solid show last year at Last Place on Earth, one of the best “indie-rock” bands around, Seattle’s Modest Mouse, returns to the area with a show Monday, September 24th, at Proud Larry’s in Oxford.

Modest Mouse released two of 2000’s best rock albums in the form of indie farewell Building Nothing Out of Something and the major-label debut The Moon and Antarctica, records that showcase songs that don’t have choruses so much as mantras, with singer/guitarist Isaac Brock driving his songs with fidgety, circular guitar riffs that shadow his alternatively whiny and screaming vocals.

It’s rock-and-roll as a never-ending math equation. And this obsesswiveness extends to ideas and images that are repeated song to to song, album to album. Brock rhapsodizes a sense of entrapment and futility that comes off more stoic and bemused than depressivwe, a sense of constant motion on a road to nowhere.

This is a band that once named an album The Longsome, Crowded West to describe the isolation they felt in their home region and then mvoed on to The Moon and Antarctica, two barren places that imply a more universal malady. Few bands around can make it hurt so good.

Categories
Film Features Film/TV

Apocalypse Whatever

“My film is not a movie. My film is not about Vietnam. It is Vietnam.”

Francis Ford Coppola said those words at the Cannes Film Festival in
1979, debuting his epic Apocalypse Now as a “work-in-progress.”
Apparently still a work in progress, the film appears again as Apocalypse
Now Redux
, a reedited version that adds 50 minutes of new footage and
forces us again to contemplate Coppola’s grandiose claim.

What does “Vietnam” mean in this context? The last thing that Coppola, or
America itself, associates with the word “Vietnam” is Vietnam itself — the
country and its people or their particular experience of that war.
Apocalypse Now is surely not about that “Vietnam.” Though more
thoughtful and truthful than other celebrated American films on “Vietnam,”
most notably The Deer Hunter, one of the central failings of
Apocalypse Now is still its refusal to give voice or perspective to the
Vietnamese themselves. Not a single Vietnamese speaks in the film (or, rather,
those permitted voice in the film’s aural background are denied subtitles),
and the closest thing to an actual Vietnamese presence in the entire film is a
young VC woman who throws a grenade into an invading American helicopter
before being shot down.

The “Vietnam” in Apocalypse Now is really “America” and our
particular experience of that war. As an examination of this “Vietnam,” the
film is a bag of mixed messages. The film’s opening sequence is bravura
filmmaking, with visions of Vietnamese jungle decimated by napalm and the
flutter of helicopter blades morphing into a ceiling fan in the hotel room of
Martin Sheen’s Capt. Willard. Synced to Jim Morrison singing, “This is the
end,” the scene ignites a fever dream about American confusion. Willard
glances out his window as the off-screen narration mutters, “Saigon shit.”
Audiences in 1979 could surely relate.

With its plotline lifted from Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness,
the film is also a mystery story. Willard joins a group of American GIs on a
river journey into the heart of the war, his mission to assassinate the rogue
Col. Kurtz (Marlon Brando), who Willard’s commanders say has gone insane. In
this context, Willard is an audience stand-in, with Kurtz a personification of
America transformed by its experience of the war. But the film’s fatal flaw
isn’t so much its lack of an answer as its insistence on trying to be all
things to all people — to embody all of the feelings its audience would bring
to the film. War is hell and war is awesome spectacle. The white man is a
devil and the white man is a god.

The bulk of the film’s new footage concerns a stop Willard’s boat makes
at a ghostly French plantation, a remnant of the land’s colonial past. But
this scene only adds to the mixed message. “Why didn’t you Americans learn
from our mistakes? With your power, you can win it if you want to,” one
Frenchman says to Willard, speaking for the hawks in the audience. “You
Americans are fighting for the biggest nothing in history,” says another,
speaking for the doves. The film’s famously bad acid-flashback of an ending
likewise gropes for poetic vagaries rather than saying anything clear about
the war or America’s involvement in it. Dennis Hopper babbles incoherently,
Sheen rises from the swamp in a shot that looks like parody now, and a bald,
fat Brando spouts T.S. Eliot.

Perhaps the truest “Vietnam” this film is about is filmmaking itself, an
epic visualization of director Samuel Fuller’s axiom, “Film is a
battleground.” Coppola’s comments at Cannes continued this way: “We were in
the jungle, there were too many of us, we had access to too much money, too
much equipment, and, little by little, we went insane.” These comments are
almost obscenely glib but not unwarranted. Much like his country, Coppola took
his megalomania and noble cause to the jungles of Southeast Asia
(Apocalypse Now was shot in the Philippines), only to be dragged into a
quagmire with no sight of victory and a decidedly unsure exit strategy. The
epic scope and foolhardy passion of the production itself are like something
out of silent cinema, on par with the likes of D.W. Griffith or Cecil B.
DeMille or Erich Von Stroheim. It is mad, passionate cinema that shames the
timidity and artificiality of current Hollywood product, but I’d still rather
watch a more modest Coppola film like The Conversation.

Perhaps the biggest flaw of all is the inherent impossibility of making a
mainstream entertainment about something as politically prickly and tragic as
the Vietnam war. Coppola’s battle scenes, regardless of his politics, are
filmed to be exciting. The famous, technically magnificent helicopter attack
by Robert Duvall’s mad Col. Kilgore, ushered in by Wagner’s “Flight of the
Valkyries,” may be a deeply sarcastic commentary on military power run amok,
but I don’t think viewers cherish it for its irony. The cinematic power and
glory of the sequence bulldozes all irony. It’s a triumph of sorts, but I was
dreading its approach and not just because of what happened last Tuesday.

Categories
Letters To The Editor Opinion

Postscript

Unprepared For War?

To the Editor:

If the number of people killed at the World Trade Center horrifies the
American people, they will be astonished at the number killed if we go to war
against Middle Eastern countries and groups that have the capability for
biological and chemical warfare with no regard for human life. It will be
warfare that our military personnel are woefully unprepared for. The number of
casualties of American personnel will be enormous and ground troops will have
to be used to carry out this mission. This will be nothing like our people
have seen since Vietnam. It will be a conflict that could wipe out the
majority of our military — our brothers, sisters, sons, and daughters.

I understand the need for the call to war but I hope the American people
realize the cost to each one of us and comprehend the huge price that will be
paid. I pray I am wrong but I am afraid I am not. I hope those yet to come
will look upon us as a nation with courageous resolve that did the right
thing, in the right way, at the right time.

Mary E. Davis, Memphis

To the Editor:

I have witnessed two reactions to the tragedies in New York and
Washington. First, there was President Bush’s faux Clint Eastwood assurance
that the perpetrators will be “hunted down,” followed by Norman
Schwarzkopf’s banner-waving explanation of “the difference between us and
them” — meaning that when the U.S. makes an attack, we do not target
innocent civilians. (Vietnam?) Second, I have seen sidewalks full of people
waiting to donate blood, women handing out sandwiches in airport terminals,
prayer services being organized within minutes of the first plane crash, and
countless other acts of human kindness between total strangers.

While I want very much to see those responsible for terrorism brought to
justice, my hope is that rifts of fear and anger will not be spawned by
efforts of our leaders to look tough when facing the world. The end result
will only be continued violence and unrest and the terrorists will have
achieved their goal. But perhaps if we can continue to focus on the outpouring
of goodness toward those in need, the opportunity may be created for healing
to begin. Terrorism is ineffective against a society whose strength is founded
in hope.

Jon Devin, Memphis

Shadden Light On the Subject

To the Editor:

I want to thank you for Tom Graves’ article on garage bands, “Out Of
the Garage” (September 6th issue). I feared those unique and wonderful
Memphis icons were all but forgotten. What a joy to know that their memories
still live on. I must say, however, that I was very disappointed in one
particular section of the story.

My father is Shad Williams, who was the lead singer of Shadden and the
King Lears. I appreciate author Ron Hall’s dedication and hard work, however,
it bothers me that inappropriate information about the best father ever has
been printed when the truth is right here in Memphis. I have lived here my
whole life, as have my parents, Shad and Sheila Williams. They have recently
relocated to another town in Tennessee, not Arkansas — as was claimed
by Hall — and are very happy.

My dad remembers fondly his days as a youth playing around Memphis. I
grew up listening to those old 45s and they have become some of my most valued
possessions. My father, however, was not “struck” by God, nor did he
leave in the middle of a set. My dad was “born again” while in the
band and after that profound event he spent several months trying to figure
out what to do. He loves his brother, Bubba, very much and loved the guys in
the band. He didn’t want to disappoint them and their dreams, but he also felt
a calling to go into the ministry full-time. The pull on his heart by God won
out. He eventually told the band that he was leaving and following God’s call
on his life. That is the actual story, not the humorous one told by Hall that
made my dad’s call to the ministry sound trite.

Again, I deeply appreciate Hall’s work, along with Graves’ in writing the
article. I just ask that you help me in honoring the amazing life my father
has set forth as an example to me, my sister Rachel, our spouses, and his six
grandchildren. Shad Williams once was a man of rock-and-roll, but for 34 years
now he has been a man of the Rock. I am the proudest son you can imagine.

Michael S. Williams, Memphis

The Memphis Flyer encourages reader response. Send mail to: Letters to
the Editor, POB 1738, Memphis, TN 38101. Or call Back Talk at 575-9405. Or
send us e-mail at letters@memphisflyer.com. All
responses must include name, address, and daytime phone number. Letters should
be no longer than 250 words.

Categories
Hot Properties Real Estate

Early ‘Burb

High Point Terrace was made up of small farms until the father-and-son
developers Chandler and Chandler bought the Koch family dairy farm around
1940. They were instrumental in introducing the new suburban style of housing
to Memphis. They laid out an extension of the grid pattern of the city’s
streets, creating large lots and deep setbacks. The houses, begun in 1941,
were one-story with garages built in the rear yard. Front doors and porches
were not emphasized. This was an early car suburb; there were no sidewalks.
The neighborhood streets were unpaved dirt roads until the early 1950s. When
you moved out beyond Highland you were escaping from the city to a place in
the country.

In 1945, after the end of World War II, building increased. Houses filled
quickly — as far as Eastland Street and down to Walnut Grove by 1957. This
house was built in 1950 at the far eastern edge of the subdivision and backs
up to what is now the St. Andrews Fairway area.

Typical of the neighborhood, the house is a one-story structure clad
largely in brick, with siding above. Although some large trees original to the
area were preserved, it’s now mostly the early plantings, now mature, that add
an elegantly aged canopy to the area’s streets. This house has one grand oak
in its front yard, now joined by a second, younger one wisely planted by the
current owners.

This lot is not as deep as most. The garage was built beside the house
rather than behind it. When time came, it was easy to attach it to the house
with a spacious mud entry and laundry room.

The current owners were fortunate to benefit from a complete kitchen
renovation just before they moved in. This may have even been the time the
laundry was moved out of the kitchen and the garage attachment built. The
kitchen is spacious with lots of pickled wood cabinets. A breakfast bar
set at a rakish angle keeps guests close at hand without invading food-prep
areas.

The current owners have continued improvements at regular intervals.
Basic elements such as the roof were replaced, and the whole interior has
benefited from subtle paint finishes. Upgrades include an enlarged electrical
service, central heat and air, new appliances, and top-quality, insulated-
glass windows throughout, including a greenhouse window over the kitchen
sink.

Every room (except the family room, which was added) has its original oak
floors in immaculate condition thanks to a protective layer of carpet and
padding. The living and family rooms in the center of the house open to each
other to accommodate entertaining. The bedrooms are tucked to one side.
Closets have been outfitted with shelves and rods for maximum storage.
Original ceramic floors and high, tiled wainscots add an elegant touch
in these economically built houses.

The yard has received plenty of sweat and equity by the current owners.
Sun-loving perennials ornament the fenced rear property line. The pair of oaks
out front shade the house from midday and afternoon sun. They also offer a
friendly environment for the azaleas that flourish across the front of the
house. In fact, the whole neighborhood offers a friendly environment where
third generations now flourish in this early Memphis ‘burb.

3863 Minden Road

Approximately 1,800 square feet

3 bedrooms, 1 3/4 baths; $198,500

FSBO 458-5481; will co-op

Open house Sunday, Sept. 23rd, 2-4 p.m.

Categories
Editorial Opinion

Continuing the Pursuit

When New York took that dreadful hit last week, we all felt the blow. This
is true not only in the sense of emotional solidarity or of human empathy or
even of the feelings of unity or patriotism which are unquestionably resurgent
everywhere in America.

It is true because the consequences for New York will be replicated
elsewhere to some degree. One example: At a time when, in Memphis and other
urban communities, there has been a shift of both recreational and residential
venues away from the suburbs and back toward city centers, the fear of being
in high-profile zones could cause a partial or complete reversal of this
flow.

It is true because some of the conveniences that we have previously taken
for granted — relatively cheap and trouble-free airplane travel, for instance
— will henceforth be encumbered with more complication and expense.

For Memphis, which has begun to enjoy a downtown revival and plans to
begin building a new arena for the National Basketball Association’s
Grizzlies, these circumstances could not come at a worse time. If airline
travel ends up being substantially reduced for the aforementioned reasons and
because of a general diminishment of comfort and confidence factors, what will
be the effect on the tourist trade on which so much of our downtown economy
depends? Can we really pay for an arena which is leveraged so heavily on
anticipated revenues from hotel and motel lodging and car rentals?

The answers to these and similar questions will be worked out in time.
Meanwhile, it behooves us to consider the statement of Defense Secretary
Donald Rumsfeld at a press conference this week. As we confront the new breed
of international terrorists, Rumsfeld said we have two choices: “to change the
way we live, which is unacceptable, or to change the way they live.”

Whatever the full implications of that sentence turn out to be, Rumsfeld
is right. We must respond so that our enemies are ultimately the ones to pay
for the horrors of last week and for the state of war which will ensue. It is
as unacceptable to hunker down in physical and emotional bunkers as it would
be to abrogate our traditional freedoms or our tolerance for human
diversity.

No one knows yet what is in store for us, but it is clear that our way
out of the morass of gloom and uncertainty depends on our staying close to the
guiding light of our traditions. And among those traditions is the one
described by the Forefathers as “the pursuit of happiness.” We must continue
that pursuit, even as we track down our enemies and abort their cruel mission.
They may choose to wrap themselves in the language and practice of repression;
we cannot.

Mr. Falwell’s Apology

So it was all the fault of the A.C.L.U., the federal courts, the
“abortionists,” the feminists, and the gays and lesbians, was it? That was
what Jerry Falwell, the apostle of soulless religiosity, said in the aftermath
of last week’s terrorist attacks. (We will spare you his reasoning.) As he
felt the mantle of shame being draped around him, Mr. Falwell was at length
prompted to apologize. He need not have bothered.

We always reckoned him as being sorry.

Categories
Cover Feature News

Saturday Night Live!

It’s Saturday night and you want to boogie. So what are you gonna do? Sure,
you could hit Beale Street and have a great time, but there are a lot of other
options out there in the Bluff City: college bars, karaoke clubs, after-hours
joints, gay bars, music clubs. The Flyer staff fanned out across town
on a recent Saturday night to conduct an informal report on Memphis after
dark. What we found confirms the old adage: Variety is the spice of (night)
life.

One More

2117 Peabody Avenue

Okay, listen up: Olivia Newton-John is not a lesbian. If you think
or heard otherwise, you are wrong.

That’s what the woman from Dallas said. She and a friend drove seven
hours from Texas to hear Newton-John perform in Tunica, and if there’s
anything you need to know about the Australian songbird, she’s the one to ask.
She’s the one with the Olivia Newton-John tattoo on the small of her back.

Now, how she made it here to One More on this Saturday night, who’s to
say? What’s more, it doesn’t even matter. This tiny place at the corner of
Cooper and Peabody is, by definition, a lesbian bar. In spirit, though, it’s a
neighborhood bar. It’s the kind of place to take a load off and maybe have one
beer too many. A place to shoot pool at its one table or maybe throw darts at
its electronic board. It’s a place to slow-dance and to stay until all the
songs you entered into the jukebox have played (Stevie Nicks is my
bitch!
).

According to Dan, who does maintenance work for One More, there’s no
rough stuff. The only fight he remembers is the one he was in himself.
Earlier, though, the girl from Dallas whipped off her T-shirt to reveal her
sports bra, but she was just trying to one-up the woman who was bent on
interrogating a stranger about religion (Do you believe in God? Or do you
just think you do?
) and making a show of her ability to make a gal squirm
by staring her down and asking way-personal, emotion-plumbing questions.

By 10:30, One More starts to fill: a straight couple, a gay couple, and
women, women, women. Within these four walls, painted with a mural involving a
number of flamingos, the women mingle and high-five and talk and talk. Your
ex-husband wanted a three-way? So did mine.
There’s some discussion about
coming out and about how difficult it is for gay people to adopt a child. Two
Hawaiian honeys — one with a heck of a hickey on her neck — help the woman
from Dallas name all eight of the Hawaiian islands and pronounce them
correctly. Every now and then, someone cases the room looking for anyone who
might know the score of this night’s Arkansas game.

And above it all is Floyd. Literally. According to the bartender, Floyd
was a homeless man who did odd jobs around One More. Two regulars took him in,
and then he passed away. A son in another state didn’t want him. So here he is
now, cremated and in an urn resting on top of the beer cooler.

It’s not a bad place to be. Susan Ellis

Yosemite Sam’s

2126 Madison Avenue

Frank Sinatra, Madonna, the Beastie Boys, George Jones, and Joan Jett:
The weirdest mixed bill in the history of music? Well, sort of. In one roller-
coaster five-song stretch, the karaoke crooners at this Overton Square hangout
took listeners from Ol’ Blue Eyes to Ms. Blackheart and never missed a beat.
Well, actually, they did miss a few beats. And a few notes, too. But it’s all
part of the gig at this oddball beer-joint cabaret.

The club is a sprawling space, decorated with an eclectic splatter of
dangling inflatable objects, old music posters, football team lights, and beer
signs. A large cartoonish mural of the man — Yosemite Sam himself —
dominates one wall. Also of interest is the club’s “Celebrity
Board,” which features signed photos of Elvis, Bear Bryant, Larry Bird,
George and Barbara Bush, and Lou Gehrig, to name but a few. One suspects that
most of the celebrities never set foot in the place, though there is a rumor
that George and Babs snuck in one night and laid down a mean version of
“Suspicious Minds.”

The routine is simple. You look through the songbooks scattered around
the joint, write down a song title and your name on a piece of paper, and hand
it to the deejay. In a few minutes, you’ll hear him say, “Dave,
c’mon down,” and the fantasy begins. You’re Bob Dylan or Shania Twain —
or whoever the hell you want to be. It’s cheap therapy, if nothing else.

The musical mix is as eclectic as the level of talent. I heard, for
instance, the worst version of “Me and Mrs. Jones” ever offered to
human ears. (It was compounded by the fact that the tipsy woman who
“sang” the tune changed the lyrics to “Me-e-e-e-e-e-e and
Mister, Mister, Mister, Mister Jones … “) Mind-bogglingly
hideous. She was followed by a man we came to call the “one-man Rat
Pack.” All night long, he sang Sinatra and nothing but. Wearing a suit
and white turtleneck, cigarette dangling from his fingers, he did the Chairman
of the Board’s memory proud. Or, at least, Joe Piscopo’s.

At the end of each number, there is at least polite applause, often led
by the genial bartender, Marty. No one boos or groans or makes fun of the
performers, no matter how pathetic the performance. And once in a while
somebody with a voice gets up there. We learned, for instance, to look
forward to one tall blonde woman’s appearances. She had it goin’ on. Her
version of “I Will Survive” made us believe she would.

And near the shank of the evening, Flyer writer Chris Davis and
some guy named Bruce delivered perhaps the finest version of “Sweet
Caroline” ever poured into a microphone. Brought down the house. You
should have been there. Bruce VanWyngarden

The Lounge

Second Street and George W. Lee Avenue

At the Lounge, a singer-songwriter is finishing his set early. His guitar
keeps crapping out on him, he tells the audience, a crowd of married couples
and their friends. A couple of them comment on the irony: If there is any
place a guitar should sound good, this is it.

The Lounge, a fledgling venture (just weeks old), is housed in the Gibson
Guitar factory, a few steps from the Memphis Rock ‘N’ Soul Museum. And
entering the new club, it’s evident that music is the main focus here.

Paying the $5 cover and slipping through the opening in the heavy black-
velvet curtains that circle the inner sanctum is like bribing your way onto
the set of Unplugged, MTV’s old acoustic concert series. Oversized
booths, café tables, and square backless couches all face the small
elevated stage, giving everyone in the house a good seat.

But if the leather armchairs big enough for two, rhomboid tables, and
high ceilings provide a beautiful 14-carat-gold setting, the stage is the
club’s crown jewel. It gleams with a high shine, blue light bouncing off the
gleaming floors and the top of the baby grand piano. Below is a small moat
where a few enamored souls gently dance.

The singer-songwriter, dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, engages the
similarly dressed crowd from a stool in the center of the stage. Most of them
seem familiar with his work; during a song about the shortcomings of one-night
stands (“minutemen” and women who are uglier in the morning), these
30- and 40-somethings bark along with the refrain.

The early crowd seems a little underdressed. The long, glossy, dark wood
bars that rim the entire place like chrome on a ’57 Chevy practically beg for
a Coyote Ugly turn, but no doubt the management frowns on that sort of
thing. But the place has posh down pat. One could easily imagine well-dressed
celebs piling into the banquettes and sipping champagne.

It’s a perfect place to see and be seen, but this bunch isn’t here for
that. They’re here for the music. When the singer puts away his guitar, they
leave in a mass exodus, as if they have to get home and pay the babysitter.
The crowd, which once filled almost every seat, dwindles to a handful of
couples and a group of men collectively celebrating their birthdays. An
eclectic variety of music sporadically blasts from the speakers overhead: Tom
Petty, Al Green, Brian Seltzer Orchestra.

As the night becomes morning, a New Memphis crowd — young, attractive
types who live in renovated downtown lofts or desperately want to — slowly
gathers at the bar. Trendily dressed and showing more skin than the early
crowd, they drink cocktails and buzz around each other. In fact, it’s so
Sex in the City there is actually a couple getting it on in the
bathroom. Once disturbed, they quickly take their show on the road. They
obviously didn’t hear the one-night stand song. Mary
Cashiola

The Highland Strip

Conventional wisdom may suggest that Poplar Avenue is the city’s choicest
spot for running down pedestrians, but I’d like to place a vote for the
weekend nights on the Highland Strip. With a passel of bars, a load of hard-
partyin’ U of M students, and exactly zero traffic lights between Midland and
Southern, Highland is an always precarious game of human Frogger.

Crossing Highland was the only thrill-seeking proposition on this
otherworldly sleepy Saturday night. With University of Memphis classes only
recently in swing, you’d expect the strip to be jumpin’, but on this night it
seemed an almost languid experience. The Tigers football team is trouncing UT-
Chattanooga down at the Liberty Bowl at the season’s first home game and the
bars were bare. Even Newby’s, the strip’s cornerstone club, seemed to be
taking the night off. With no band playing, the club’s door people sat out on
the patio gabbing all night. Over at R.P. Tracks, three students who all
looked like the drummer for Limp Bizkit got drunk and debated the merits of
Taoism. Three other less-academic-looking young men entered in full Tigers
paraphernalia, only to have to watch a bar TV showing Tennessee slog its way
past Arkansas in a rain-soaked game as directionless as the mood on the strip
this night. In a side room, a wedding party provided more intimate, low-key
revelry.

Elsewhere on the strip, punk and goth kids hung out in front of the
Hideaway Café, a couple made out for at least an hour in front of one
of the strip’s tattoo parlors, and the male-to-female ratio at Highland Cue
was at least 4-to-1. A group of orange-clad frat types stood around the bar as
Tennessee finally pulled away from Arkansas, Nelly’s appropriately laid-back
hit “Ride Wit Me” flowing out of the jukebox. — Chris
Herrington

Patrick’s

4698 Spottswood

Don’t let the name fool you. Patrick’s is anything but an Irish bar.
Nestled into the corner of Spottswood Plaza across the parking lot from Target
in East Memphis, it’s a laid-back, unpretentious place — think Huey’s without
the toothpicks in the ceiling — that is packed to the gills with guys and
gals of a certain age and type every Saturday night.

And what age would that be? Well, let’s just say Patrick’s is what they
call a “cougar” bar in the Pacific Northwest, cougar being a semi-
affectionate moniker used in those parts to describe a youngish — in her 30s
or early 40s — woman, usually divorced. (Note my use of the word youngish,
indicating, obviously, on which side of the chronological Continental Divide
yours truly sits.) Still, youth must be served, wherever and however you
choose to define it.

It’s a happy crowd, no sloppy drunks in sight, where folks pay way more
attention to meeting and greeting than to adult-beverage quantity and quality.
Time-honored pickup lines that have been passed along from generation to
generation are overheard at the bar and on the dance floor, where, fortunately
for those watching, just about everyone has done a reasonable job of keeping
themselves in good physical shape, despite the challenges presented by Father
Time. Thank God as well that that blinding guy-glimmer you used to get at
places like Rampage a decade ago is nowhere in evidence. Gold chains are
out.

The music is, as my companion Thomas suggests, “not gonna hurt
anyone’s ears.” It’s performed more than capably by the Distraxshuns,
clearly regulars at Patrick’s and well-regarded by most present. Thomas is a
firm believer in the fact that not a single great pop-music melody has been
written since 1974 and the Distraxshuns do nothing to disabuse him of that
notion. Good, solid musicianship of all the rock-and-roll standards we know
and love.

After a little bar chatter and dancing, we moved to the periphery to
eavesdrop. A handsome fellow whose body language (and body) bespoke many hours
pumping iron was chatting up two cougars at the table next to ours, one of
whom, shall we say, had a considerable pulchritudinous advantage over the
other. Guess where Our Hero’s attention was focused? Alas, Maid Marian was no
maiden at all but happily married to a pilot who happened to be traveling this
particular evening. Which is why she was out with her friend (let’s call her
“Helen”), who (surprise?) was recently divorced and “really
looking to meet some new people,” as Marian put it.

Helen had done her damndest to look good for the occasion, but clearly
her efforts were lost upon the Workout Guy. Oblivious to her very existence,
he was in verbal hot pursuit of the girl from Sherwood Forest. Damn the
torpedoes. Full speed ahead!

We left before the final outcome of this biological tussle was
determined, happy to know that some things never, ever change. — John
O’Leary

The Spot

600 Marshall Avenue

The Spot is a modest bi-level place complete with bar, two dance floors,
stage, mini pool hall, and room for about 150 patrons. For many college
students, The Spot is also The Scene.

We wait in a line longer than that for a Victoria’s Secret lingerie show
at a boy’s school. A group of security guards are on hand to ensure that
everyone remains on their best behavior — or at least doesn’t fall asleep
waiting. There is even a car show provided by drivers speeding by the club and
taunting those in line with screams of “Losers!”

Actually they are the losers, because some very entertaining
people are standing in line. You can hear young men spouting laughable lines
of love like “I knew I was meant to come here tonight. It was to see your
smile.” Or “Why aren’t you smiling, baby? Is it because I haven’t
danced with you yet?” (Now there is a long line of women losing their
lunches.) And if you don’t want to talk, fun can always be found by checking
out the latest in urban fashions: Everything from ripped jeans to studded
bustiers can be found in the winding line.

Further conversations reveal a little club history. According to frequent
“Spotters,” the average wait in line on a busy weekend is at least
30 minutes. The cover charge is $10 and students get in for half price after
midnight. (Note: If you’re older than college age, don’t try to masquerade as
a college student; they will “spot” you!)

Inside, you are immediately thrown into a world of loud music, smoke, and
hormones. Strobe lights work the room, throwing flashes on the dancers and the
stage.

The second floor provides some space to look out over the floor below and
take in the scene. But because the second floor is also known for more
adventurous activities, dallying here too long can lead to fondling. In
various dark corners of the upper level, guys apparently can get a lap dance
or a “clothed” bump and grind.

At the end of the night, after dancing (to the sounds of Gangsta Boo, P.
Diddy, Maxwell, and Nelly), flirting with several handsome young gentlemen,
and drinking a cocktail or two, you can relish memories of The Spot as you
glance down at the bright-red “PAID” stamp on your right hand.

Oh, to be young again. Janel Davis

Beale Street

Beale Street is jumping, literally. Rising and falling like the belly of
a panting dog, the whole of the street is consumed with catching up with the
next thing to chase. Women in tight dresses and crop-tops sway and sashay in
the same way that women on Beale Street always have. Men, sweat dribbling down
their faces and onto their Ricky Ricardo button-down shirts, stand around, run
around, jump around, each vying for a better view.

Standing in the cobblestone street’s party sludge, Beale is positively
magical — a brightly lit temple dedicated to partying. Sucking on a drink
table-side and watching the crooners croon and the dancers dance, you know why
tourists flock here. It’s Beale Street, it’s Saturday night, and you’re in the
belly of the dog.

Recent years have seen Beale imitations pop up in other American cities.
“Entertainment districts” they’re called, a polite name for neoned
blocks of corporate bars and T-shirt stands. To compete, Beale Street has
countered with a few of its own corporate bars and T-shirt stands. Some
popular spots play Top 40 hits, techno dance jams, and paeans to the disco,
but we leave those places to the tourists.

At This Is It! we grab a long-neck and sit at one of the many tables, all
of which seem to be in dark corners — a geometric mystery. The regulars dance
the entire set of the live performer and then stay on the floor to dance the
entire set from the deejay who plays hip-hop during breaks.

Later, we go outside and get a drink from a street vendor, enjoying the
fact that Beale is one of the few city streets in the country (and the only
one in Memphis) where you can drink in public. We stroll east, parting the
crowds, taking in the catcalls, dancing on the cobblestones. You can sit on a
patio — any one will do — and just watch the show. But for crowd-watching,
the upper deck at Alfred’s can’t be beat. And inside you can hear Kevin Paige
working the crowd into a frenzy with 1980s covers like “Jesse’s
Girl.”

At the other end of the street, the Dempseys thump out energetic
rockabilly to enthusiastic crowds at Elvis Presley’s Memphis. Instruments are
spun, climbed upon, and lit on fire while the sweaty performers never miss a
beat — or a punchline. At Blues City Cafe the drinkers crowd around one bar
and — on the other side of the restaurant — dancers crowd around the
other.

Everywhere in between — B.B. King’s, Silky O’Sullivan’s, Rum Boogie, the
Black Diamond — the sweaty, mascara-streaked faces of tourists and locals
grin and gleam, heads bobbing to the real sounds of Memphis.

Heading back east, we stop and take in the beer-absorbing grease of a
Dyer’s hamburger. It’s early Sunday morning on Beale, and, belly full, the dog
is asleep.

Rebekah Gleaves

East Memphis

(and back again)

My husband Jonathan and our friends Joe, Carrie, and Billy explored the
Half Shell, the Tap House, and the Belmont Grill. The Half Shell is more a
restaurant than a bar and serves a full menu until 2 a.m. We were there early,
and so were a lot of families. According to Scott, a bartender, the place
exchanges its middle-aged iced-tea special-occasion first-date crowd for the
fun-loving big-tipping pre-alcoholic crowd of restaurant employees after 11
p.m.

There was a family near my aunt’s place when I was a kid who were
constantly making additions to their house. It started as a modest one-level
and grew into a towering three-story that looked as if it would collapse at
any moment. You could tell where each addition began by its color. The inside
of the Tap House has a similarly charming feel — like maybe the Boxcar
Children put it together. Two gals played folk covers for a crowd that was the
rough equivalent of a fraternity/sorority three-year reunion. We got the
feeling everyone knew one another from college. It was like we were the
invisible guests at a private party. But apparently this place gets kicking
around midnight.

I confess, I don’t remember much about the Belmont Grill. I do remember
thinking I was visiting the Half Shell’s more down-to-earth sister. We all
made further connections between the two. For example, Carrie observed that
there was a sensitive ponytail guy at both places. Joe noticed that the Half
Shell had a donkey painting and the Belmont had pictures of asses. Both served
a full menu until late and both were nice and dark. The crowd at the Belmont
was probably more typical of the later crowd at the Half Shell as well. I
don’t know about the rest of the menu, but the catfish po’ boy was great.

We returned to Midtown to catch the midnight animation festival at Studio
on the Square, careening into the parking lot around 12:15 a.m., late for the
Spike and Mike show. People were standing against the walls and sitting
on the floor and in the aisles. Everyone was laughing loudly and applauding.
It was a great experience. Memphis could use more celebrations of this kind,
where the marginalized people in film, music, and art are showcased and
rewarded with a warm, supportive (and perhaps a little drunk) audience.

Lesha Hurliman

The Orchid Club

642 Beale Street

We get here a little early — just after midnight — after a trek through
various parts of South Memphis, sampling hot tamales cooked up by some of the
numerous parking-lot and street-corner vendors that are out most every
weekend. We’ve spent a considerable amount of time with Lester, a wiry, hyped-
up entrepreneur who says he is carrying on his grandfather’s tradition. He
began making and selling tamales in the 1930s, although Lester can’t seem to
remember if that was in Germantown or LeMoyne Gardens.

After drinking the tamale juice (read: spicy grease) out of a large
aluminum cooker as Tunica-bound gamblers stop in droves to get their lucky
dozen, we find Maurice, an elegant, willowy man in a large Panama hat. He is
set up in a big food-vending van on Third Street, complete with lawn chairs
out on an empty parking lot and his family, who are there helping him hand out
the corn-husk-wrapped beauties.

But we have to make this last stop: the Orchid Club.We have to see our
buddy, Sadie, who, after leaving Sadie’s Soul Food Kitchen and Cat Fightin’
Arena at College and McLemore some months back (and taking yet another few
months off while her broken leg mended), is back in action at new digs.

At the Orchid, the famed year-round Christmas decorations are gone, the
little nondescript building has undergone a facelift, and the interior has
been expanded to take up the entire space. The clutter behind the bar has been
replaced with some shelves above a mirrored wall lit with orange and blue
lights and dotted with an odd assortment of 1970s stemware.

We’re five minutes from the offices of this newspaper and a spit-wad’s
shoot from The Commercial Appeal building. Yep, it’s the old spot that
formerly housed Beale’s End, the after-hours bar at the un-touristy end of
Beale Street. Now, with the interior west wall screaming in big painted
letters surrounded by big painted cocktails, it’s the home of the Orchid
Club.

Sadie’s in her big new kitchen, ready for the night to get started. It’s
a sober, fly-on-the-wall kind of night for us. We meet Hollywood, the doorman,
and Womack, the deejay, who’s starting to liven things up with a string of
R&B tunes as the well-heeled crowd starts to filter in. And even though
we’re about to explode from the tamales, we can’t help it. We have to have one
of Sadie’s cheeseburgers. She serves up about 100 of them a night on Fridays
and Saturdays. They are so good they can’t be compared to any other burger in
town — heavy, greasy, loaded with mayo and onions and lettuce and tomato, and
gone in a few inhaled bites.

She also cooks up fried shrimp, fish sandwiches, smoked-sausage
sandwiches, and about 100 pounds of her famous chicken wings that people come
from all over town for. The Orchid Club will be open for a more varied soul-
food lunch in a few weeks, but for now it’s the only bona-fide supper club in
town we know of.

At 2:30 a.m., we’re full and tired. Not so the rest of the crowd at the
Orchid Club. The regulars are just starting to pour in and it’s wall-to-wall
people eating, dancing, playing pool, and congregating on the deck out back.
When we leave, Hollywood walks us out and makes sure our car isn’t blocked in
the parking lot. We say good night and know we’ll be back because if Sadie’s
in the kitchen, it can’t be anything but real.

Tim Sampson

J-Wag’s Lounge

1268 Madison Avenue

It’s Sunday morning. Afternoon, rather. It’s 2 p.m. to be exact. I’m
sitting outside of Café Francisco on Main staring down a roast beef
sandwich approximately the size of a baby antelope. I stare at it vacantly,
much like God must have stared at Adam the morning after time began: as one
intimate with every physical detail of the construct before him but a total
stranger nonetheless. Though typically an early riser, I’ve only been up for
an hour, and the incredible edible at my fingertips, the exact-in-every-way
object that has passed through my lips on countless occasions, is as foreign
to me now as the starry contours of Alpha Centauri.

Try as I might, I can’t remember what happened last night.

I remember lying down on the slowly revolving sidewalk in front of the
Circle K at Madison and Cleveland. I remember having just enough cash left to
tip the cab driver when he dropped me at my house. The rest is recalled like
some bedtime story my mother told me while I was still in her womb. One of two
things is true: Either I failed in my mission to find the beating heart of
Saturday night or I am the victim of too much success. This is not a question
of seeing the glass half-full or half-empty. It’s a question of not being able
to see the glass at all. And the most disturbing question is this: Did I have
fun at J-Wag’s last night? Because I would certainly hate to think I feel this
bad for no good reason at all.

There is something decidedly tawdry about J-Wag’s, the most storied gay
bar in town. From the spare honky-tonk décor to the impossibly dark
patio, it has the feel of a rough-and-tumble roadhouse — the sort of place
where the combined number of teeth in the bar is directly proportional to the
number of patrons divided by two. Only the penis-shaped stage and dance floor
tell the true story.

It’s nearly 2 a.m. when I make the scene. The crowd is small but diverse.
Drag queens converse with men in cowboy hats and Wrangler shirts. White men
hold hands with black men. It is like some bizarre cross between Dr. King’s
best dream and Jesse Helms’ worst nightmare. Nobody is dancing. These are
things I remember clearly. There is an array of items for sale behind the bar:
cigarette lighters, B.C. Powder, bottles of poppers, cans of VCR head cleaner,
and a number of blue aerosol cans I can’t identify. “What’s in the blue
cans?” I ask the bartender.

“Lubricant,” he answers with a smirk.

“Oh. Well. What do you know about that? My, my, my, my, my. I’ll
take a can of the head cleaner.” When in Rome Out on the patio I’m
instructed by a helpful bystander on how to properly use the stuff. You spray
it on your shirt, inhale it through your mouth, and exhale through your nose.
Within seconds, half of your brain dies and it feels like a fire alarm is
going off in your head. This is when the memory started to go.

The next thing I do remember is standing over a largish African-American
drag queen who is on the floor pounding her chest and lip-synching her heart
out to “And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going” from Dreamgirls.
I notice that her wig has come off and is nestled like a bird’s nest between
her knees. A less than hunky fellow in a Hawaiian shirt sidles up to me and
puts his arm around my waist as a blonde diva in a purple gown begins to
pretend to belt out “Total Eclipse Of the Heart.” “No, thank
you,” I tell the man, removing his arm. He puts it right back around me.
“No, but thank you, really.”

It’s not the poor guy’s fault that I’m both straight and damn
irresistible. And truth be told, I’ve hit the age, girth, and level of
ugliness where being hit on is quite the unexpected pleasure, even when it’s
not exactly a Victoria’s Secret model that’s doing the hitting.

It was nearly 5 in the morning when I finally left J-Wag’s and took a
half-blind stumble to the nearest convenience store. I knew that hangover city
was my final destination. I knew that I would hate myself the next day. I
tossed the half-empty can of head cleaner in the garbage then fished it back
out of the garbage then threw it back in the garbage again, cursing it. I
called it the Devil. A wino clucked his tongue at me disapprovingly. And
that’s about all I know.

Chris Davis

Categories
News News Feature

An End To Irony?

Stewart Bailey, the 35-year-old supervising editor of the Comedy Central
sendup The Daily Show, knew that his world had changed as soon as he
learned that the first plane had slammed into the first World Trade Center
tower — only blocks from the Greenwich Village apartment he shares with his
wife, Jen, a Vogue editor.

Even before he got the word from the star of the cutting-edge show, Jon
Stewart, that all production would cease for the time being — until, at
least, the next week — Bailey knew that he had likely heard the death knell
of an ironically distanced view of the world which had held sway in his end of
the media since the advent of David Letterman.

“We’ll meet on Monday and take stock,” Bailey said, “but Jon made it
clear that we’ll have to seriously evaluate what it is that we can do, and
ought to do, going forward.”

A show whose bread and butter was tongue-in-cheek scorn of convention and
established authority and mockery of news events and the way they were covered
in the media would now have no appropriate targets, said Bailey, who happens
to bemy nephew and who, with his Daily Show crew, played host to me for
a memorable day of shadowing (and ruthlessly spoofing) the presidential
candidates during last year’s New Hampshire primary.

“We know we can’t say anything critical about the president or anybody in
government,” Bailey said. “We never talked about Columbine or JFK Jr., and
this beats all of them by an incomparable margin. We’ve always made fun of the
pomposity or pretentiousness of the news business, but how can you criticize
anybody for covering this? Or the way they’re covering this? We might have a
show on Tuesday, but we just don’t know what kind of a show we can do.”

Noting that CNN had broadcast an erroneous report early Tuesday that
American bombs were falling in Afghanistan in retaliation for the New York and
Pentagon disasters, Bailey said, “The bombs on Afghanistan thing — normally
we could play with something like that, but I think we’d be thrown off the air
if we tried something that was such bad taste. And we should be. We’re
owned, ultimately, by Time Warner, but we’ve always had virtual self-
governance. No limits. I think if we went too far, we might find out we aren’t
as autonomous as we think we are.

“Reality has always been the subject of satire for us. Now the nature of
reality has changed.Even Howard Stern is doing straight news!”

As Bailey noted, “A lot of our jokes and other people’s jokes were based
on the fact that people don’t really care about politics — that nobody really
cared about Bush or Gore, for example. Now people have to care.”

The pervading “sense of irony” that may have overnight achieved its
obsolescence derived from Letterman, Bailey says. “What he was saying was that
‘all of this is phony; all of this is fake.’ Things were pretend-important,
self-important, not really important. They didn’t really matter. Now things do
matter.

“Early in the last century we had two world wars and a depression. Then
we had a long period in which things didn’t seem as important. Already that’s
gone. Things are significant again, things are important. We’re going into a
long, deadly serious period. To pretend that things don’t matter any more or
to laugh at people who are serious won’t fly anymore.”

One of Bailey’s duties was to supervise the preparation of The Daily
Show
‘s performance tapes that were entered in competition for the
prestigious Peabody Award, won by the show this year. The show was up for
further honors at the Emmy Awards, which were scheduled for Tuesday, the
fateful day itself, and have now been postponed indefinitely.

“Comedy will have to adapt to all that has happened. It won’t be the same
again,” Bailey said.

Even as Bailey was commenting on Thursday about what would or wouldn’t
“fly anymore,” F-14s had been soaring conspicuously over his head and over the
whole of Manhattan all day.

“This used to be the most secure place in the world,” he said. “Now we
have surveillance aircraft full time.” Bailey observed one practical way in
which the twin towers of the World Trade Center will be missed. “When some of
us would be out at night walking in the Village we might wander into some
corner of a strange neighborhood and lose our way. We could always get our
bearings by looking at the Empire State Building for due north and at the
towers for due south. Now we can’t do that.”

When Bailey first heard of the ongoing tragedy Tuesday, he knew he could
climb to the roof of his building and see it first hand, and many people did.
But he couldn’t. “I’ve always had trouble dealing with that kind of pain,” he
said. “I don’t have the ability to deal with real tragedy.”

So he watched on TV and apprised himself of things via a weird form of
stereophonic imagery. On-screen terrible things were happening, while he heard
the real, live moans and groans of people reacting outside his very window.
“It was so hard to deal with. I was physically paralyzed.”

Ultimately, Bailey was able to galvanize himself and sought an
opportunity to give blood. He volunteered at St. Vincent’s Hospital, near the
disaster site, and after 10 hours of waiting, found himself shuttled to the
New York Blood Center, near Lincoln Center, where he became a blood donor and
wasaccepted as a Red Cross auxiliary, spending the next few days fetching
juice and food supplies for rescue workers.

Because he had once provided some backup help for his mother, a
psychiatric head nurse back home in Topeka, Kansas, Bailey is also slated to
be a Red Cross adjunct for emergency mental-health services.

In such a way have the talents of a professional American funnyman been
adapted to meet the demands of a new time — one that could last a while.

Update: The foregoing was written last week, as the first
shockwaves from the disasters of September 11th were being felt by New Yorkers
and the rest of the nation.

Though much of that shock has now been absorbed, it is clear that the
facts of life — and the predominant attitudes toward them — will never be
the same.Separate statements by both Bailey and Comedy Central spokesman Tony
Fox indicated as much.

Said Fox: “When you’re talking about a show that is a news parody and the
news is consumed with this tragedy, what’s funny about what’s unfolding here?
Nothing. As someone at the show said succinctly, irony is dead for the
moment.”

Bailey, who, on the strength of what he said last week might have been
that somebody, this week after a meeting of The Daily Show principals
on Monday said, “We’re going to bring the show back next week, but it’s going
to be a different show.” Minus the irony and totally restructured. “We’re
going to be holding meetings all week to see what we can come up with.”

Daily Show host Jon Stewart meanwhile will spend much of his time
this week attending funerals or rites of commemoration for people of his
acquaintance who are dead or missing as a result of last Tuesday’s events.

Though Stewart was known both privately and publicly as a severe critic
of the Bush administration, Bailey said “that partisanship is all gone now and
will stay gone.”

Other comics returning to the airwaves this week did so with the same
solemn mien. David Letterman resumed his late-night show Monday with CBS
newsman Dan Rather as a principal guest. Rather cried as he discussed the
tragedy.

Another funnyman, TV personality Regis Philbin, engaged in mild badinage
with Letterman but the joke level was purposely kept very minimal.

That was even more the case with former Daily Show host Craig
Kilborn, whose late-night show followed Letterman’s and who told his viewers
that it would take “weeks” before the show could “ease back” into comedy.

The ABC show Politically Incorrect resumed Monday with an empty
chair in honor of frequent guest Barbara Olson, one of those killed in the
hijacked jet which rammed the Pentagon.

Categories
News The Fly-By

Hating the Taliban

I’ve been hearing a lot of talk about “bombing Afghanistan back to the
Stone Age.” Talk-radio hosts and callers allow that this will mean killing
innocent people, people who had nothing to do with this atrocity, but, they
say, “We’re at war; we have to accept collateral damage. What else can we do?”
I heard some TV pundit discussing whether we “have the belly to do what must
be done.”

And I thought hard about the issues being raised, especially because I am
from Afghanistan, and even though I’ve lived here for 35 years I’ve never lost
track of what’s going on there. So I want to tell anyone who will listen how
it all looks from where I’m standing.

I speak as one who hates the Taliban and Osama bin Laden. There is no
doubt in my mind that these people were responsible for the atrocity in New
York. I agree that something must be done about those monsters.

But the Taliban and bin Laden are not Afghanistan. They’re not even the
government of Afghanistan. The Taliban are a cult of ignorant psychotics who
took over Afghanistan in 1997. Bin Laden is a political criminal with a plan.
When you think Taliban, think Nazis. When you think bin Laden, think Hitler.
And when you think “the people of Afghanistan” think “the Jews in the
concentration camps.” It’s not only that the Afghan people had nothing to do
with this atrocity. They were the first victims of the perpetrators. They
would exult if someone would come in there, take out the Taliban, and clear
out the rats’ nest of international thugs holed up in their country.

Some say, Why don’t the Afghans rise up and overthrow the Taliban? The
answer is: They’re starved, exhausted, hurt, incapacitated, suffering. A few
years ago, the United Nations estimated that there are 500,000 disabled
orphans in Afghanistan — a country with no economy, no food. There are
millions of widows. And the Taliban has been burying these widows alive in
mass graves. The soil is littered with land mines; the farms were all
destroyed by the Soviets. These are a few of the reasons why the Afghan people
have not overthrown the Taliban.

We come now to the question of bombing Afghanistan back to the Stone Age.
Trouble is, that’s been done. The Soviets took care of it already. Make the
Afghans suffer? They’re already suffering. Level their houses? Done. Turn
their schools into piles of rubble? Done. Eradicate their hospitals? Done.
Destroy their infrastructure? Cut them off from medicine and health care? Too
late. Someone already did all that. New bombs would only stir the rubble of
earlier bombs.

Would they at least get the Taliban? Not likely. In today’s Afghanistan,
only the Taliban eat, only they have the means to move around. They’d slip
away and hide. Maybe the bombs would get some of those disabled orphans; they
don’t move too fast, they don’t even have wheelchairs. But flying over Kabul
and dropping bombs wouldn’t really be a strike against the criminals who did
this horrific thing. Actually it would only be making common cause with the
Taliban — by raping once again the people they’ve been raping all this
time.

So what else is there? What can be done, then? Let me now speak with true
fear and trembling. The only way to get bin Laden is to go in there with
ground troops. When people speak of “having the belly to do what needs to be
done,” they’re thinking in terms of having the belly to kill as many as
needed. Having the belly to overcome any moral qualms about killing innocent
people. Let’s pull our heads out of the sand. What’s actually on the table is
Americans dying. And not just because some Americans would die fighting their
way through Afghanistan to bin Laden’s hideout. It’s much bigger than that.
Because to get any troops to Afghanistan, we’d have to go through Pakistan.
Would they let us? Not likely. Will other Muslim nations just stand by? You
see where I’m going. We’re flirting with a world war between Islam and the
West.

And guess what: That’s bin Laden’s program. That’s exactly what he wants.
That’s why he did this. Read his speeches and statements. It’s all right
there. He really believes Islam would beat the West. It might seem ridiculous,
but he figures if he can polarize the world into Islam and the West, he’s got
a billion soldiers. If the West wreaks a holocaust in those lands, that’s a
billion people with nothing left to lose. That’s even better from bin Laden’s
point of view. He’s probably wrong — in the end the West would win, whatever
that would mean — but the war would last for years and millions would
die.

Who has the belly for that? Bin Laden does. Anyone else?

Tamin Ansary writes for AlterNet, where this article first
appeared.

Categories
We Recommend We Recommend

wednesday, 19

The Demolition Doll Rods at the Hi-Tone. And that’s that. As always, I
really don’t care what you do this week, because I don’t even know you, and
unless you can get that fabulous new princess of Norway to come visit Memphis
and thumb her nose at those who think her a commoner, then I’m sure I don’t
want to meet you. Besides, it’s time for me to hit the road and go check on
that Paula Jones nose cloud. If that thing bursts, we are in for it.

Categories
News The Fly-By

9/11/01: THE DAY THE MALL STOOD STILL (COMPLETE)

“You can’t really be closing this early,” I said. “It’s only 11:30.” The woman
behind the Taco Bell counter at the food court in Oak court Mall nodded an
affirmative affirmative.’

“Oh yes we can.”

“Well, can I at least get a bean burrito?” She sized me up, laughed, and
muttered soemting to the effect of “Gonna get something to eat before you die,
huh?”

Before I die? What did she know that I didn? Still, she ordered my (possibly
last) meal, took my money, and returned correct change, I guess. If I was
indeed doomed, as was suggested, what did a few cents matter?

“Has there been some kind of threat made against the mall? I asked the woman.
She shrugged nonchalantly and handed me a note. It was a memo addressed “to
alL store managers, owners, all management.”

“Due to national events,” it read, “and for the safety of our shoppers and
employees Simon Property Group has made the decision to close all Simon
properties as well as the corporate office in Indianapolis, Indiana. Malls
will reopen Wednesday, September 12th, at regularly scheduled business hours.
We apologize for any inconvenience. Thank you for your immediate attrention to
this matter.”

The steadily mounting combination of terror and sickness, which had begun
shortly after my typically peaceful morning coffee had been interrupted by the
day’s awful news, began to escalate. This time all the paranoia was real. the
mall was indeed closing.I toured both floors and found that, wih the lone
exception of a nail salon, every metal screen had been pulled down. Most shops
were empty, though some employees stood behind their cages staring out like
prisoners, faces as blank as the front page of the daily news on the day after
the end of the world. A helpful mall employee escorted me to the security
office. As we walked through the empty, echoing expanse, my concern peaked.
Terrorism that leads to the mass closing of our public spaces is mighty
effective terrorism….

“You don’t have permission to be here,” the security guard said quietly but
sternly.

“Has there been a threat?”

“I’m not going to answer any qestions,” he said, kindly referring me to the
mall offices. They too were closed. On the way out, I asked another security
guard, “Why exactly is the mall closing?”

“I’d tell you,but I could lose my job,” he answered with a nervous stammer.
“Are you a reporter?” I thought about lying. I sensed he would tell me if I
said no.

“Yes,” I said. “I’m a reporter.” Silence.

“They evacuated Disney World,” a voice on the radio said as I pulled away.
Score one for the terrorists. They even brought our dreams to a grinding halt.
For a moment anyway.