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Theater Theater Feature

Elaborate Lives

Love thy enemy: a scene from the nationally touring production of Aida

We never got to an advanced stage with that,” says pop-opera lyricist and frequent Andrew Lloyd Webber collaborator Sir Tim Rice of Disney’s initial plan to develop their latest theatrical success, Aida, as a zippy kid-friendly animated feature. The top brass at the magic kingdom, high on the wild success of 1994’s Tim Rice and Elton John collaboration The Lion King, had obtained rights to a children’s book by opera superstar Leontyne Price. Hopes were high that Price’s retelling of Giuseppe Verdi’s masterpiece about a beautiful Nubian princess whose pronounced case of Stockholm syndrome leads to a tragic and untimely end amid the sands of ancient Egypt would be the perfect vehicle for reuniting the universally beloved creative team of Rice and John.

The problem with an animated feature, says Rice matter-of-factly, the trace of a yawn rising in his throat, “is me and Elton had already done it with The Lion King.” There were, it would seem, other worlds to conquer. John requested of Disney, says Rice: “Give us something really dangerous [to work on].” That’s when the powers-that-be began to seriously discuss the possibility of developing Aida as a pop musical for the stage. Now, developing a new musical with Tim Rice, the creative force behind such rock-and-soul-informed extravaganzas as Evita, Chess, and Jesus Christ Superstar (to name but a few of the award-heavy lyricist’s achievements), and pop icon Elton John (who, we presume, needs no introduction) at the project’s helm and with the full financial backing and support of the monolithic Walt Disney Corporation may not sound like a terribly dangerous proposition to most, but this was Aida, after all, and Verdi’s composition is considered sacred in opera circles. The door was left wide open for critical vivisection.

“[Verdi] did just a lovely job with Aida. I’d like to congratulate him on that,” Rice says, cheekily shrugging off the possibility of any negative comparisons. Then, confessing that he doesn’t actually know Verdi’s original all that well, he adds, “It’s a bit like Jesus Christ Superstar, really. We weren’t afraid people would think we were trying to replace the Bible. We’re just trying to tell an old story in a new way, like Romeo and Juliet.” And here, Rice hits on a point that even the staunchest cultural puritans cannot argue. Aida is an old story. It was ancient already when Verdi took up his pen and made it contemporary for 19th-century audiences. Clearly, given the cartload of Tony Awards it has garnered, this reinvigorated classic has struck the intended chord with modern audiences.

“We tried calling [the musical] Elaborate Lives,” says Rice of an initial attempt to distance this new Aida from the original. “But that just didn’t quite hit home.”

Though they never exactly palled around, Rice and John became acquainted in the early ’70s, when they were labelmates at MCA. Jesus Christ Superstar had, interestingly enough, become a hit record in America before the show was ever given a theatrical debut.

“Others may see Elton as this giant superstar,” Rice says of his flamboyant partner, “but in private, with friends, he’s just a nice bloke. I think of him as Elton, my pal with whom I’m writing a few songs.” Of course, working with a certifiable pop sensation who is constantly gigging all around the world is a far cry from the classic image of the composer and lyricist banging out songs at the piano.

“I’m not all that sure that particular image was ever terribly accurate,” Rice explains, stressing that he requires a certain amount of solitude in order to work. “Elton has an interesting and unusual approach to it all,” he says. “It’s quite different and quite fun. He likes to have the lyrics first. So I’ll write some lyrics and send them to him, wherever he is, and he’ll zip into the studio, compose, then you get these little Elton John masterpieces back in the mail in two days.” Therein lies all the danger this composer and lyricist claim to crave. “After all,” Rice says, “you can write a lyric and it looks good on the page, but let someone sing it and it’s AWFUL!”

On working with Disney, the company often accused of putting the final nails in Broadway’s coffin with its sugary spectacles, Rice has nothing but pleasant things to say. “I think Disney, by virtue of its size, gets ‘stick’ they don’t deserve. The only real difference between working with Disney and working anywhere else is [this]: I came up with Evita. It was my idea. So I bring in the people I want to work with. Aida was someone else’s idea, someone at Disney’s. So they brought me in.”

Aida at The Orpheum through October 20th.

Categories
Opinion Viewpoint

Adult Education

To be honest, it wasn’t all the trouble in the world or a crisis of faith or anything along those lines that drove me to take a night class in Nietzsche. It was J. Lo’s butt. More specifically, it was the obsessive media attention on Jennifer Lopez and her butt and Christina Aguilera’s video and “must see” TV and the blurring of serious news and stupid entertainment that equates a terrorist bombing in Israel with the latest casualty on Survivor.

Because we’re all exposed to such claptrap whether we like it or not, and because the course on Nietzsche was being taught by two friends of mine from Rhodes College, and because it just seemed like the contrarian thing to do, I signed up for four sessions of “Nietzsche Squared.”

The class meets at Boscos Squared in Overton Square, hence the name of the course, which includes drinks and appetizers. Professor Dan Cullen, who is Canadian, which may account for the choice of venue, said a few introductory words about the course and old Friedrich. Soon, the beers arrived, and for possibly the first time in Memphis history, a barroom bull session kicked off with an explanation by one of the participants — a very lucid and concise one, I might add — of the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle.

We’re not really reading Nietzsche — at least, not much. “Be Hard!” said Nietzsche. Be Easy! is more like it when you’re talking one night a week at Boscos. Professors Cullen and Steve Wirls can talk philosophy and political science with the best of ’em, but the assignments are pretty short, there aren’t any tests or grades, thank goodness, and two pints of Oktoberfest don’t exactly stimulate the old brain cells.

Unless I missed the point of the readings completely, which is possible, the general drift of Nietzsche’s thought is that the mass of humanity is intellectually flabby, foolish, lazy, and going to hell in a handcart. And who can doubt it?

Like a lot of other people, after 9/11, I started checking the news via my computer several times a day to see if the U.S.A. was being attacked. To get to the news, I have to go first to my Internet navigator’s start page. This is what greeted me there last week: “Working Wives and Their Trophy Husbands.” “Kidnapping Tales of the Rich and Famous.” “Man Beaten by Child Mob Dies.” “Best New Cars for 2003.” “See Christina Aguilera’s ‘Dirty’ Video.”

When and if nuclear war breaks out, I expect it to get equal billing with some celebrity’s video, a story about a child stolen by Gypsies, and a cyberpoll on whether to lob one at Iraq or Saudi Arabia first.

There is more behind this than the space limitations of a computer screen. The line between news and entertainment isn’t being blurred, it’s been wiped out. Don’t tell me there’s no connection between all those television dramas about kidnappings and missing children and the hyping of real-life crime stories as major news. Chandra Levy, a missing child in California, a serial killer in Oregon, the crash of the Twin Towers, whatever’s in the 8 p.m. slot on Channel 8 — it’s all programming to AOL Time Warner, NBC/CNBC, Disney, Fox, Katie, Connie, Diane, Dan, Tom, and Peter.

I can only imagine how Nietzsche, who I gather was a guy who did not suffer fools gladly, would feel about all this. So what? Like the bathroom graffiti says, the joke’s on you, Fred:

“God is dead” — Nietzsche

“Nietzsche is dead” — God

For three more weeks, I will steadfastly light my little candle in the intellectual darkness. I will be a seeker of wisdom and truth. I will emulate the Superman. I will learn to correctly spell both Nietzsche and Ubermensch. I will Be Hard! At least until the Oktoberfest makes me fall asleep.

Categories
News News Feature

CITY BEAT

FIRST REPORT CARD

The first six-weeks grading period is over, and the city and county school systems now have their final enrollment numbers. With all the news stories about schools, this little true-false quiz should be easy.

1. Alarmed by two years of failing report cards and bad publicity, thousands of students have left the Memphis City Schools.

2. Thanks to an influx of new students and a booming market in new schools and subdivisions, the Shelby County School System has nearly doubled in size in the last decade.

3. Hundreds of city school students have enrolled in the innovative KIPP (Knowledge Is Power Program) Academy, a test case for charter schools.

4. Racially, the city and county school systems are virtual mirror images of each other. 5. The most racially diverse public schools in the area are the city optional schools.

Pretty simple, huh?

The first statement is false. So are the next four. Sometimes what media reports suggest and what people actually do are two different things.

If there is anything remarkable about the enrollment reports that come out this time each year, it is how little the big picture changes. Individual schools sometimes undergo dramatic declines or increases in enrollment and racial makeup, but the trends in the city and county systems as a whole are gradual and pretty predictable.

The Memphis City Schools have 119,049 students. That’s an increase of about 1,000 students from last year and 2,271 more than the 2000/2001 school year when the first failing report cards came out.

The Shelby County School System, with no failing schools, has 45,561 students, which is only 456 more than it had in 2000/2001 and 117 students less than it had in 1995/1996, the year before the Grey’s Creek sewer extension and Nonconnah Parkway triggered a building boom in eastern Shelby County.

The KIPP Diamond Academy has 55 students, all fifth-graders, or roughly one for every news story that has been written about it. KIPP is new and controversial, so maybe that’s understandable. Or maybe it’s the most overhyped educational reform since Dr. Gerry House and the New American Schools. For now the sample is too small and it’s too early to tell.

As for the racial diversity of the two school systems, there was a time six or seven years ago when they were near mirror images of each other, but that is no longer the case. The city system is 87 percent black, 9 percent white, 3 percent Hispanic, and 1 percent Asian. The county system is 70 percent white, 25 percent black, 3 percent Asian, and 2 percent Hispanic. The county system would be even more diverse (and about 4,500 students larger) if four county schools with large black and Hispanic populations had not become city schools because of the Hickory Hill annexation.

The most racially balanced public school in the Memphis area is also the biggest one, 2,309-student Germantown High School, which is 49 percent white, 46 percent black, and 5 percent Hispanic and Asian. Optional schools, which are only in the city system, tend to self-segregate, with the extremes being all-black John P. Freeman Elementary School and its predominantly white counterpart, the optional program at Grahamwood Elementary.

As for Òone-raceÓ schools, three of the 48 county schools are 90-91 percent white. In the city system, 130 of 175 schools are 90-100 percent black.

Of course, just because the city and county public schools start the year with a combined total of 164,610 students doesn’t mean they’ll all be there at the end of May. The dropout problem is acute at city high schools. Ten of them — B.T. Washington, Carver, Frayser, Hillcrest, Kingsbury, Melrose, Northside, Raleigh-Egypt, Sheffield, and Treadwell — have fewer than half as many seniors as freshmen.

And city high schools are a lot smaller than county high schools to begin with. The smallest county high school, Millington, is bigger than all but three of the 28 city high schools (White Station, Hamilton, and Whitehaven).

Shelby County government is much maligned these days for supposedly encouraging suburban sprawl and throwing up a passel of new schools. But the seven county public high schools, with an average enrollment of 1,987 students, are arguably the most efficient educational institutions in the Memphis area.

In contrast, there are 28 city high schools, with an average enrollment of 1,040 students. Seven of them have enrollments under 700, with the smallest, 376-student Manassas High School, getting a $18.5 million overhaul.

Public Schools At a Glance

Memphis City Schools: 175 schools, 119,049 students; 87% black, 9% white, 3% Hispanic, 1% Asian.

Shelby County Schools: 48 schools, 45,561 students; 70 % white, 25% black, 3% Asian, 2% Hispanic.

(sources: city and county school system 2002/2003 reports)

Categories
Sports Sports Feature

THE SCOOP ON SPORTS

RIVERKINGS SET TO DEFEND TITLE ON ICE

The Memphis RiverKings defeated the Bossier-Shreveport Mudbugs in game seven last season to capture the President’s Cup Trophy. And, after a summer of enjoying the President’s Cup, it’s back to the ice for the Riverkings, determined to defend their championship.

Recently their majesties invited the press to attend a special media luncheon where coaches, players, and reporters reacquainted themselves. The Maddox Foundation, proud new owners of the RiverKings, shared both optimism and a video presentation on their operation. The Flyer talked with RiverKings head coach Doug Shedden:

Flyer: Is there a bull’s-eye on the RiverKings as the club competes for another President’s Cup?

Shedden: Well, it’s not going to be easy, but there are probably 15 other teams that would like to be in our position — to be able to say they can defend the title. I think it’s going to make us a more hard-working team.

Flyer: What’s the mindset of your team, now that the Kings are champions and the team to beat?

Shedden: It’s certainly going to be a challenge, and we know there will be no nights off. And, if we take any nights off we certainly won’t be successful on those nights.

Flyer: What are your thoughts on the new ownership?

Shedden: Well, I’m very excited personally, and I think that the players will find that things will be run a lot differently. It’s going to be a lot more organized. It’s going to be run first class, and I think the players will benefit from the Maddox Foundation owning this team.

Flyer: Talk about the preseason games — at Indianapolis on Friday night and at home on Saturday against the Indianapolis Ice.

Shedden: We’re going to give all the young kids a chance to play. These are two games just to see what these young kids have and to see if they can help us.

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We Recommend We Recommend

thursday, 10

First of all, what about New Jersey poet laureate Amiri Baraka getting all the heat for his poem he wrote last year about the World Trade Center attacks, Somebody Blew Up America? The governor of the Garden State is trying to find authorization to fire him because of the criticism the laureate has gotten for being anti-Semitic. I say, forget that, and fire him because he can t write. Here s the passage the New York Times News Service offered as an example:

Who knew the World Trade Center was gonna get bombed

Who told 4,000 Israeli workers at the Twin Towers

To stay home that day

Why did Sharon stay away?

See? Could be interpreted as anti-Semitic to me, but that doesn t mean you have to be crappy poet. was gonna get bombed ? My, that took some deep thought. And why would Sharon have been there anyway? Don t you think he s busy enough with his own business to randomly be at the WTC? Oh, well. Only time will tell. We each have to be a good listener. And would someone mention two words to George W. Bush: Hair Conditioner? (Now that s poetry!) Has anyone noticed that it looks like a scruffy hedge of some sort is growing on his Chia head? Maybe it s just the broom he flies around on. Or, while he already has the demeanor of one with a permanent burning rectal itch, perhaps he is trying to look like a porcupine for security reasons. Or maybe some of that Texas tumblin tumbleweed landed on his head and no one has told him. Whatever the case, I don t think someone with that many split ends needs to trying to rule the world. But I am practicing an ancient Eastern philosophy of compassion, so I won t say anything else about him. So, on to bigger and better things. On the heels of this paper s Best of Memphis poll, it has come to mind that one tiny thing got left out: Best Little Known Fact About Memphis. And while I tip my hat to Memphis magazine s Vance Lauderdale for being the absolute expert at this, I would submit that one of the best little-known facts about the Bluff City is that Hugh Beaumont graduated from high school here. Yes, the Father of the Beaver got his high school diploma right here at Southside High School. When I found this out I entered his name into a search engine on the Net to get more information, which leads me to the next strange part of this: What do Ward Cleaver and Mr. T have in common? Well, the engine sent me to a site called peoplejustlikeus.org, which lists and offers information on famous Christians actors, writers, and singers. While there was not any information on Beaumont (who was indeed an ordained minister), there was plenty on Mr. T. Seems he was born into a very poor family on the south ghetto side of Chicago. His father left when he was five, leaving his mother to support him and his four sisters and seven brothers on $87 a month. Safe to say the Cleavers had it better off. He daydreamed all day in school growing up but stayed out of trouble for the most part, except for a period between 5th and 7th grade when he played hooky, cursed, acted tough, and was disrespectful. This would come into play years later when he was a role model on Diff rent Strokes and, when Gary Coleman s character Arnold found out that his girlfriend was seeing him only to get closer to Mr. T, he changed his hair to look like T s, which is the style of a Mandinka warrior. Don t recall the Beaver ever doing something like that. But Mr. T straightened little Arnold out. But Mr. T s career had its ups and downs. Between the military and his screen career, he worked as a bouncer at a club in Chicago called Dingbat s. That s when he changed his name from Laurence Tero to Mr. T, so people would have to call him Mr. Anyway, he got rich and started wearing $300,000 worth of gold jewelry and got cancer in 1995 and went broke and then made somewhat of a comeback and never had to bounce folks out of Dingbat s again. SO, what does all of this mean? Absolutely nothing. The state the Buddha always strove for. To think and feel nothing. It ain t a bad way to be. So I will stop and here s a brief look at what s going on around town this week. Tonight, Rob Jungklas is at The Hi-Tone, and there s a Planned Parenthood Benefit featuring Half Acre Gunroom at Young Avenue Deli.

Categories
News The Fly-By

MULTITALENTED

An appliance-repair center on Park Avenue seems to offer quite a range of services. We just hope that the people who use these devices can tell them apart, or they’re going to feel mighty sore in the mornimng. A little nick from shaving is one thing, but a trolling motor can really mess up a face. Believe us, we know.

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We Recommend We Recommend

wednesday, 9

Pub Quiz at Kudzu s. DJs Stylus & Saturna at the M Bar at Melange. And now I must vanish. As always, I really don t care what you do, because I don t even know you, and unless you can get the military to show up here with Valium shower planes at music fest this may, I m sure I don t want to meet you. Besides, it s time for me to blow this dump and go find my car at the Blues Ball.

T.S.

Categories
Politics Politics Beat Blog

POLITICS: Crossing the Lines

CROSSING THE LINES

Q: What do loose morals, the Black Panthers, and the Third Reich have in common? A: They were all evoked in an unforeseen controversy which erupted in Monday’s biweekly meeting of the Shelby County Commission. The argument, over county funding of a contraceptive program, was one of two issues — the other concerned a zoning matter — that underscored the tendency of the current body, elected in August, to cross partisan and racial lines more freely than previous commissions had.

Said Shelby County Commissioner John Willingham: “Are we not encouraging loosening up …promoting promiscuous sex, ..legalizing morality — or the lack of it?…[It] does give the girl and her partner free rein, doesn’t it?…If guys know they can play without paying the price, they’re going to.”

Said Commissioner Marilyn Loeffel: “To me, it’s a moral issue. It’s a matter of core belief, not a debate over financial responsibility…It’s not our place to promote birth control…They can’t remember to do homework, to make their beds, to catch the bus on time.”

These sentiments had to do with a resolution initially considered so innocuous that it was placed on the commission’s “consent agenda,” which normally lists a plethora of routine matters that are voted out of the way early in a meeting so that the real controversies, if such there be, can come later and get all the time and attention they deserve.

It read this way: “Resolution approving expenditure of funds in the amount of $66,000.00 for the purchases of Depo Provera Prefilled Syringes from Pharmacia Corporation for the Memphis and Shelby County Health Department’s Family Planning Program.”

In effect, the syringes in question provide temporary inoculation of women of child-bearing age against pregnancy, and that fact made the resolution an anathema to Loeffel, a longtime activist on social-conservative issues — especially since the category of potential subjects necessarily includes females who are formally classified as minors and who are students in the county’s junior high schools and high schools.

In asking that the resolution be taken off the consent agenda and placed on the commission’s regular agenda, Loeffel intended only to be given the opportunity to vote against the measure, she said, adding, “I had no intention of provoking a debate.”

The debate ensued, however, sometimes heated, sometimes bizarre, and, as indicated, irrespective of the usual partisan lines.

One strong opponent of Loeffel’s view, for example, was newly elected commissioner Joyce Avery, who turned out longtime commissioner Clair VanderSchaaf this year largely on the strength of her advocacy of tighter fiscal restraints for county government.

Indeed, Avery, the sponsor of the disputed resolution, defended it as a classic instance of financial responsibility. “These are people who are already sexually active, are they not?” she asked Yvonne Madlock, county Health Department director, who concurred and added that, in her view, it was “the right of every individual to make rational decisions about reproductive life.”

Avery attempted to mollify Loeffel by saying that, “as a Christian,” she sympathized with the Cordova commissioner’s views but added, “I agree to disagree.” She said she felt that society was being unfairly burdened by “childen having children,” and that “a sense of fiscal responsibility” required making the contraceptive syringes available.

In any case, said Avery firmly, she was determined to see the matter come to a vote without being deferred.

In the end, the commission would approve the expenditures by an 8 to 4 vote. Voting for it were Republicans Avery, Linda Rendtorff, Tom Moss, and David Lillard, and Democrats Deidre Malone, Michael Hooks, Cleo Kirk, and Joe Ford. Voting with Loeffel and Willingham were newcomer Bruce Thompson, a Republican, and vintage Democrat Walter Bailey, who currently serves as chairman and who asked Loeffel to take over the chair briefly while he articulated his position — along unanticipated lines, it’s fair to say.

Some decades back when he was a member of the board of an American Civil Liberties Union chapter, Bailey recalled, he had supported positions taken by the Black Panthers, a radical group prominent in the late ‘60s and early ‘70s, opposing state-supported birth-control programs on the grounds that as a means of “population control” they were aimed at blacks.

Asked after the meeting if he regarded that as a live possibility in today’s circumstances, Bailey said he did, throwing in what was arguably a non sequitur: “Who could have foreseen what Hitler would do?”

The other matter Monday that operated independently of party structure was precipitated by Commissioner Hooks’ request to reconsider a zoning proposal that was defeated two weeks earlier when it could not get a majority vote.

This, a project by developer Kevin Hyneman to build 50 new homes in the Cordova area, received a six-six vote on September 23, when a coalition of Republicans and Democrats resisted two new subdivision proposals aimed at families with children.

One of those was that of Hyneman, who, along with brother and fellow developer Rusty Hyneman, has abundant political contacts. One of those on a number of former occasions was Hooks, who, to many of his colleagues’ surprise, took the lead at the previous meeting in holding the line against the proposed new developments on the ground that, until reliable means of financing future school construction could be assured, it was folly to approve new family-oriented subdivisions.

Buttressing the argument, which is a staple of what is coming to be known as the “Smart Growth” concept, was the presence at that meeting of Maura Black, director of planning for Shelby County schools.

Black was present at Monday’s meeting but did not play as conspicuous a role as at the earlier meeting, nor, crucially, did the united “Smart Growth” front of Hooks, Democratic newcomer Malone, and GOP add-ons Avery and Thompson, who, with members picked up from the other commissioners on the key proposals, were able to hold the line last time.

At the start of Monday’s session Democrat Julian Bolton, an absentee on September 23, asked Hooks if he, as a member of the prevailing side in the Hyneman vote, would mind moving to reconsider the proposal. To the discomfiture — and raised eyebrows — of some of his new allies (a couple of whom had skeptically predicted such a move two weeks ago), Hooks agreed, and the motion to reconsider, coupled with another that deferred renewed voting on the measure until the commission’s next meeting, duly passed.

“He was very kind to me during my recovery, and he would have done the same thing for me,” Hooks, who made a dramatic return to action after a widely publicized bout with cocaine addiction, would say later, justifying his decision to honor Bolton’s request.

“I am not so unmindful as not to know how Julian will end up voting,” said Hooks, who, like everyone else, saw the former 6-6 deadlock on Hyneman’s subdivision turning into a 7-6 vote of passage next time out.

Though no one professed any doubt about Hooks’ motives for the record, two of his colleagues, Commissioners Thompson and Lillard, the latter of whom had voted Hyneman’s way in September, expressed displeasure at the result and suggested that a better option for Bolton, who had an opportunity to see the September 26 agenda in advance, would have been to seek deferral of the measure before in its initial vote, not to have it resurrected it for a second try later on.

Malone, however, saw no reason for distress. The “Smart Growth” faction, so far equally divided between Democrats and Republicans, would hold together as a unit in the future, she predicted.

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We Recommend We Recommend

tuesday, 8

Aida opens at The Orpheum. U of M Tigers play Louisville at Liberty Bowl Stadium.

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News News Feature

FROM MY SEAT

REMEMBER 1987?

You can have the NCAA basketball tournament. And who really pays attention to the opening rounds of the NBA or NHL playoffs. Give me the

day-in-day-out, every-pitch-counts drama of Major League Baseball’s playoffs, and I’ll be a happy, invigorated bundle of Bonds-loathing joy.

(Isn’t that guy something? Makes you understand what fans felt like watching the spike sharpening Ty Cobb do his thing three generations ago.) Following are a few observations on the clubs still alive on the path to the World Series, three of whom were part of baseball’s league championship series 15 years ago.

¥ ANGELS — I was in the stands at what was then known as Anaheim Stadium in 1979 when the California Angels won their very first division title. I can still hear the chants of “Yes We Can!” — the franchise’s mantra, adopted from a local hardware chain — shaking the very foundation of that ballpark. Watching those Angels of Ryan, Carew, and Baylor knock off the perennial AL West front-runners — Whitey Herzog’s Kansas City Royals — was a powerful display of the passion long-suffering fans can

unleash with a taste of postseason success. It’s been 16 years since those Angel fans have been able to scream in October.

Which brings us to last weekend’s impressive sweep of two games in that very same stadium from the mighty Yankees, wrapping up the Halos’ very first playoff series victory. It was no fluke. The Angels’ talented core — Tim Salmon, Troy Glaus, Garret Anderson, Darin Erstad — has been in place for years. With an established ace in Jarrod Washburn and lights-out closer in Troy Percival, Anaheim is actually overdue for some October headlines. Their only question mark is the depth of their rotation. Ramon Ortiz? Kevin Appier? The Angels may have to outscore Minnesota in the ALCS. And if you’re looking to bust a scoreboard or two, there’s no better place to start than the Metrodome.

¥ TWINS — Forgive me for not signing up for the Homer Hanky Feelgood Charm-a-thon that is the 2002 Minnesota Twins. On the surface, the

small-market, no-name Twins are exactly what baseball needs these days (One national sports publication called them “the team that saved

baseball.”) The fact is, the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome is an atrocity, and if eliminating this franchise is the only way to rid baseball of that oversized coffee filter (with the world’s largest Glad Bag in rightfield), then so be it. Home field advantage is one thing . .

. altering the very dynamics of the way baseball is played is an outrage. When routine fly balls are lost in a roof — a roof, people! — the game loses its balance. Keep in mind: the Twins won each of their two World Series without winning a single road game.

Credit is due these Twinkies, as they beat a formidable Oakland outfit, and actually won two games under the sunshine. They’ve started to mirror the 1987 world champs, with the roles of Kirby Puckett, Kent Hrbek, and Tom Brunansky being reprised by Torii Hunter, Doug Mientkiewicz, and A.J. Pierzynsky. Their closer, Eddie Guardado, looked as shaky as a

Harmon Killebrew bobblehead Sunday in finishing off the A’s. He’ll have to be strong for Minnesota to hold off the Angels.

¥ CARDINALS — If anyone doubted before the playoffs began, it can be confirmed now: this team is playing for a higher purpose. At the press conference following their sweep of the defending champion Diamondbacks Saturday night, Cardinal second baseman Fernando Vina (he of the .600 batting average against the imposing Arizona pitching staff) made reference to Darryl Kile, Jack Buck, Enos Slaughter, and Darrell Porter, all “members of the family” who passed away during this season of triumph and tragedy in Cardinal Nation. When a team hears Kile’s widow say this is “Darryl’s last chance at a ring,” well, Randy Johnson and Curt Schilling seem like mere speedbumps on the road to redemption.

St. Louis will be the underdog against the Giants in the NLCS. Who knows if injured third baseman Scott Rolen will be able to swing a bat? Who knows if Andy Benes can take it up a

notch, or if Woody Williams might return for a dramatic starting turn? Hollywood can be very demanding when it comes to good sports stories. But when Albert Pujols, Matt Morris, and Jim Edmonds are joined by the likes of Miguel Cairo in the circle of Cardinal heroes . . . well, at least worth watching.

¥ GIANTS — In looking at Barry Bonds’ numbers, here’s the closest I can come to criticism. His 2002 season was the best ever for a player

hitting 27 fewer home runs than he did the season before. Slacker.

Despite the television coverage, this Giants club is more than Mr. Surly. Jeff Kent — the National League MVP only two years ago — is the best player in baseball nobody cares about. Robb Nen is the best closer among the four teams still alive. Shortstop Rich Aurilia matches up very well with the Cards’ Edgar Renteria. (The play Aurilia made on a bad-hop

grounder off the bat of Chipper Jones Monday night was as fine a play as you’ll see a shortstop make on his feet.) Kenny Lofton is still a headache in the leadoff spot and plays a mean centerfield. The question for San Francisco — just as with St. Louis — is that starting rotation. Unlike the Cardinals, the Giants had a steady five-man crew all season

long. But are Kirk Rueter, Russ Ortiz, and Livan Hernandez of pennant-winning stuff?

The Giants may not have a Matt Morris to send to

the hill, but they also aren’t relying on graybeards like Chuck Finley or Andy Benes. Bonds can make the difference in the NLCS, but the fact is he doesn’t have to beat St. Louis by himself. Scary thought if you’re

wearing a pair of birds on your chest.