State Rep. Paul Stanley of Memphis poo-pooed
Representative Mike Kernell’s proposal to reestablish the
Tennessee Commission of Indian Affairs, which was
dissolved under Governor Don Sundquist, claiming, “Now
is not a good time because of the state’s budget
problems.” Kernell believes that the commission could
improve Tennessee’s budget problems by pumping up its
tourism industry. Everyone knows there’s a veritable fortune
to be made from selling plastic tomahawks and
miniature dream-catchers.
SNOWJOB
Maybe it’s just me, but I’m a firm supporter of the idea that there should be at least one snow day every year.
Even if there’s no snow.
It’s an inalienable right, an enhancement to my pursuit of life, liberty, happiness and so forth. It’s an excuse to indulge in whatever whims might normally be barred from a weekday, what with the obligations of school or work.
An annual snow day is just good for the soul.
Needless to say, I was overjoyed this week when winter actually broke down and came into town for a visit, covering my yard with a staggering two inches of powder.
So what if the grass was poking through and the lawn looked more like an unshaven leg than a wonderland? It was enough to slow the city down to what felt like a halt, and that is all I ask, just once per year.
Where I grew up a dusting like that which occurred Tuesday would most definitely not have broken me from the shackles of the school bus. It wasn’t until the 5-inch mark that we even had hope as the youngsters of NJ.
In a way that makes me feel like a wuss for even considering Tuesday an impromptu holiday, but I’ll take what I can get. And the day was wonderful.
It started around 4 AM, when I awoke with a flutter to peer through the window, praying quietly for that eerie-shade of pink/purple that marks a true snowfall from a couple of flurries.
By 8 AM I was on my porch with a ridiculous grin on my face, in a T-shirt, terrifying my elderly neighbors, in all likelihood. Like sane people, they stayed indoors for most of the day.
But not I.
The perfect thing to do on a snow day is, of course, to get out and enjoy it. That being said, I accepted an invite from a friend to walk to Cooper-Young and try out the One Love Juice Bar inside the Midtown Food Co-op, which I had yet to visit.
Yum.
I’m not anything remotely resembling a vegan, but the offerings in this little cafŽ are extremely tasty. I had a plate of curried rice, spicy and accented with celery, pumpkin seeds, curry, onion, and something else that I can’t recall, as well as a piece of cornbread with vegan soy butter. For under $3, it’s a great, healthy, warm-you-up meal.
I also had a drink called the Sea Moss, accented by its namesake ingredient and kind of like a creamier alternative to chai. But I regret it, even though it was good.
My friend grabbed a hot juice called the Jamaican Brew, and if there is a drink in town that can warm you up from the cold, this is it. Think spicy, with pineapple, ginger and cayenne. Very therapeutic.
After our midtown meal, we hit the gift shop at Otherlands, where I learned that there is, in fact, a market for dirt scented perfume. I guess I also fail as a naturalist, although there was something about it that made me smile. Maybe the idea of inviting some people over and displaying it in my bathroom just to confuse them.
In defense of the makers of this odd scent, the grass scented selection, as well as the garden tomato smelled much better, and the martini scent was enough to turn my stomach. Nice and realistic.
You can sell anything these days, can’t you?
After that I walked back home, secretly happy that I had gotten so cold that my thighs were chapped. How often does that happen?
Fulfilled that I had spent my requisite time outside, I then read, relaxed, took a hot shower. Simply perfect.
To cap off the evening, I attended the final performance of The Masked Ball, a performance of Opera Memphis at the Orpheum.
I’m not sure I entirely understood the allure, not cultured in the world of musical theater, but I enjoyed the strangeness of the English translations that were above and to the left and right of the stage. It was like reading poetry with a musical backdrop. A fine musical backdrop at that.
And the Orpheum just glitters, even with the words death, Satan, and murder dangling beside its gorgeous chandeliers.
All in all, an ideal, abnormal and refreshing day. Thank you, snow gods!
“Everybody’s in the same boat. We’re all in this together.” That was Governor Phil Bredesen’s message in a conference call to members of the Tennessee news media Monday, as the 2003 National Governors Convention was coming to an end in Washington.
The “everybody” was not just the governors of these united — and financially distressed — states but their denizens as well. After Bredesen and his gubernatorial peers had finished a round of talks with various ranking federal officials — including President Bush — the bottom line was this: “We got no encouragement on federal help to the states.”
One of the consequences, said Bredesen, was that Tennessee had the company of 42 other states in having to cut back on optional programs and various forms of optional eligibility under Medicaid — or, in Bredesen’s case, TennCare, under the terms of the federal waiver granted Tennessee. Bredesen is hoping to get that waiver revised so as to allow a variety of cutbacks. If the revision isn’t permitted, it would lead to “a disastrous situation,” the governor said.
Under its current obligations, TennCare faces a $500 million shortfall, and even the state’s rainy-day fund, a last-ditch reserve, contains only about $178 million, Bredesen reminded his listeners. In what sounded like jab at his predecessor, former Governor Don Sundquist, Bredesen said the state might have had time to shift around somewhat “if we” (meaning “they”?)”had started responding as soon as [the problem] was clear.”
In any event, the problem is there. “When I was sworn in, I didn’t have the budget that [Governors] Sundquist and McWherter had. We were seven or eight million dollars out of balance.”
As is well known, Bredesen is actively considering cutbacks or shifts in other previously protected areas besides TennCare. One such is in the matter of state-shared funds. Asked if withholding significant amounts of these would not force local governments to seeks property tax increases, Bredesen said, “I don’t believe that’s the case. There aren’t very many places that could not find some way to save some of the money that’s out there the way we have in state government.”
Bredesen reminded his listeners that, not too long ago, he, too, had been in charge of a local government [as mayor of Nashville for two terms in the ‘90s], “and I know what it feels like on the receiving end.”
Which is to say, the governor, who has asked state agencies to make 7.5 percent cuts across the board, was preparing local governments for the same tough medicine.. He outlined the substantial cuts he’d already begun in areas like health and human services, higher education, and nutrition programs — “I’m asking everyone to pitch in a little bit as opposed to making Draconian cuts” — and suggested that local governments could make proportionate reductions of their own.
Other subjects were discussed during Bredesen’s businesslike chat with the media, but the bottom line of it all was obvious. Tennessee’s First Manager had said in effect that, not only were most of the 50 states in the same leaky boat, so shortly would the state’s local governments be.
“The mistakes we’ve made in the past came when we put on rose-colored glasses,” Bredesen said. Mayors, city managers, and county chief executives, please note: The governor wasn’t passing out any on Monday.
Pub Quiz at Kudzu s (have you ever asked yourself: If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?) and now I must go. As always, I really don t care what you do this week, because I don t even know you, and unless you can get the law enforcement department to stop harassing Raiford, then I m sure I don t want to meet you. Besides, it s time for me to go design my new wartime bumper sticker. DON T BOMB OUR PHARMACIES!
— T.S.
For more awesome views of last week’s anti-war protests around the world, CLICK HERE.
And, for a good time (as they say), CLICK HERE.
HEADLINE HAVEN
What a ride! Just when you thought we were stuck in that sleepy-eyed sports vacuum between the Super Bowl and baseball’s Opening Day, Memphis has a week fit for bronzing. Started on Monday when, despite being unable to take the court at The Racquet Club due to a back injury, Anna Kournikova — the Super Model Who Would Be Tennis Queen — appeared to present a fat check to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. Game, set, match — and lots of love — to Anna. The week climaxed with 49 seconds of the Bizarro World that is Mike Tyson. Not since your last 401(k) statement has a figure fallen as fast as Clifford Etienne. (I’ll say this for Etienne: his nickname — the Black Rhino — is about the best boxing tag since Raging Bull.) Oh! And with car tools and hub caps against the rules, Tonya Harding lost a split decision to Samantha Browning on the Tyson undercard. Somewhere, Nancy Kerrigan is smiling.
Even as Taylor Dent and Lisa Raymond were crowned Racquet Club champions on Tyson Weekend II, though, we were reminded how this city’s sporting heartbeat remains in echo rhythm with the thump-thump-thumping of a dribbled basketball. On the same day the University of Memphis earns its biggest win in a decade, the Tigers’ Pyramid co-tenants pull off a deal that brings a second Rookie of the Year to the Grizzlies. National headlines — times two — for Bluff City sports.
Don’t underestimate, on any level, the enormity of the U of M’s beating Rick Pitino’s 4th-ranked Louisville Cardinals at hostile Freedom Hall. You ask how John Calipari can possibly earn his $1 million annual paycheck? The answer is a seven-point victory — which should have been much larger — over the Tigers’ arch-rival in a game that had implications for the NCAA tournament field. It had been 10 years and 13 days since Memphis last knocked off a Top-5 team (Penny and the boys edged Cincinnati at The Pyramid on February 6, 1993). Only once in 12 years had the Tigers left Freedom Hall with smiles on their faces (January 23, 1997). The game was televised nationally on ESPN2, preceding a clash between the last two national champions (Duke and Maryland). This was big stuff.
The Tigers won despite missing an astonishing 17 free throws, including their first 7 of the game. They won despite the juvenile, throat-slashing antics of John Grice which served up a precious pair of free points for the Cardinals as the final minute ticked off the clock. They won despite the histrionics of a Louisville crowd that numbered nearly 20,000. And they did it the Calipari way. They rebounded (47 boards to Louisville’s 31). They tackled loose balls as if they were dropped babies. And they flexed their muscles (shortly after Chris Massie was knocked to the floor by a stray Cardinal elbow, Billy Richmond dropped Louisville’s Ellis Myles on what would have been an easy dunk). Perhaps most impressive is the fact the Tigers didn’t let up three days later in Tampa, holding off South Florida to gain a measure of revenge for their loss to the Bulls in Memphis a month ago.
As enormous as the Cardinal-killing was, however, the game had to share local headlines with the Grizzlies’ trade of rookies Drew Gooden and Gordan Giricek to Orlando for 2001 Rookie of the Year Mike Miller, Ryan Humphrey, and a pair of draft picks. Like everyone else who pays attention to NBA hoops, I bow at the Temple of West, but I can’t help but wonder about Jerry’s logic in this deal. Considering Humphrey will merely take up a roster spot and neither of the two draft picks will land in the top-20 (the first rounder originally belonged to Sacramento), the trade amounts to Miller for Gooden and Giricek.
What does Miller bring? He’s a shooter, a slashing swingman in the
Reggie Miller mold, average at best on defense, a decent rebounder (5.8 average at the time of the trade). What did the Grizzlies dismiss? Gooden was the fourth pick in last year’s draft, not the shooter that Miller is but, at 6’10”, much more of an inside presence. Giricek is himself a fine shooter, a slashing two-guard who gave Memphis backcourt depth and above-average defense. Where is the net gain for the Griz?
While there may be marketing opportunities with Miller and last year’s Rookie of the Year, Pau Gasol, the fact is Miller’s ROY credentials were the weakest of any winner since Keith/Jamaal Wilkes in 1975 (look it up). West’s hope has to be that Miller becomes this team’s second (if not first) offensive option, that he picks up his 16.4 point average nowthat he’s out of Tracy McGrady’s shadow. Gooden’s loss leaves the Grizzlies with essentially two rebounders: Gasol and Lorenzen Wright. For a team that rarely sees north of 100 points and is already out-rebounded by nearly 3 boards per game, Mike Miller is a peculiar acquisition. But hey, he’s Jerry West and I’m not.
Fred, Bobby, and Hunky Rusty at the Blue Monkey.
Last Sunday, while millions were marching around
the globe, registering their support for continued
U.N. weapons inspections in Iraq and condemning the
Bush administration’s rush to Gulf War II, a couple of
thousand older Memphians were making their own political
statement at GPAC. They assembled to salute and
enjoy “The Stars of the Lawrence Welk Show” in a special
reunion performance sponsored by WKNO.
Far be it for Fly to ever pass judgment on these
fun-loving septuagenarians who have been around
long enough to see trends come, go, and come back
again. Attendees waxed nostalgic while listening to
former Welk crooners Ralna English and Guy Hovis, and the
undisputed queen of honky-tonk piano, Jo Ann
Castle, who tickled the ivories as formidably and flamboyantly
as Jerry Lee Lewis ever has. Fair play to them.
But our reporter was struck by the combo’s
choice of an opening number that now rarely heard
1920s classic, “Are You From Dixie?” Most of us are
well aware that casual use of the word “Dixie” tends to
rub half of the Memphis population the wrong way.
The Welk stars were obviously unconcerned about
political correctness, and perhaps the complexion of their
audience explains why. If there was a black face among
the sellout crowd, our reporter didn’t see it.”First time in
decades anybody’s had the chutzpah to sing that one in
public in this town,”
he noted.
Okay, so it’s not the end of the world. But what
kind of person, in this day and age, would make a
decision so clearly politically incorrect? A quick glance at
the show’s program provided one possible
explanation. You see, group-leader Guy Hovis, a 12-year regular
on the Welk show back in the 1970s, has another job
these days when he’s not on the tour circuit. Hovis, the
program tells us, is “state director of U.S. Senator
Trent Lott’s offices in Jackson, Mississippi.”
Memphis Grizzlies against Utah at The Pyramid. Delectus Dinner at Melange, with Chef Scott Lenhart cooking up a five-course dinner paired with Delectus Napa Valley Wines.
Sometimes it takes a meat hook,
well actually two of them, to keep
my mind open. I am sorry
about the dishes and the butter,
too many cooks and all that,
but, you see, my big concern
is that you will grow tired of me
before I die. So please, if you would,
feel free to find new and inventive
ways to keep my ears from closing,
my eyes from shutting, my fool mouth
from speaking. Please grab whatever
funnel is closest and pour the world
down my throat and humble me.
It’s funny, but even standing next to
a tree, I sometimes feel tall. Perhaps
a cartoon mallet is in order.
What I’m saying to you right now
is that I like it when you are frank.
I got mad about the dishes–you at me
because I told you to put the butter
in the pasta when it was your recipe.
I had never had sheep cheese
and vermicelli before; I did not know.
Please see that more foolish things
have slipped from men’s mouths,
like: I am leaving forever
and I never liked you much, anyway,
come to mind. But I’ll save you
those old stories and instead admit
I am clay and malleable, that
things like this throw me
back on the wheel, spinning.
Sean Conrey‘s poems have either appeared or are forthcoming in Permafrost and Another Chicago Magazine. As an undergraduate he studied poetry at Western Michigan University in Kalamazoo, MI and in 2002 he completed an MFA in poetry at Purdue. He is currently working on a Ph.D. in rhetoric and composition at Purdue.
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DIPTERA
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Memphis, TN 38103.
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