Month: September 2004

Categories
Best of Memphis Special Sections

Staffpicks ’04

Best International Embarrassment
The Joe Brown/Iraqi debacle. You’d think as the chairman of the City Council, Joe Brown would show a little more hospitality. But when he heard a visiting delegation of Iraqis was interested in meeting with officials from city government, Brown insisted that the delegates not be allowed inside City Hall. The story quickly was picked up by the national news, making Memphis look like some backwoods redneck town. Then, to top it all off, before the trip was over, two of the Iraqis were robbed at gunpoint downtown. For shame, Memphis. For shame.

Best New Hardcourt Hero

James Posey. When the Memphis Grizzlies signed the soft-spoken Posey prior to last season, it didn’t make much noise around the NBA. But by the time the season was over, the tough-as-nails Posey had helped inject some bellow into the bear for the first time in franchise history, and he created some iconic Grizz moments along the way: tackling a showboating Peja Stojakovic in December and, with the help of a vocal Pyramid crowd, shutting the All-Star forward down a month later; ripping a loose ball free from a scrum of Houston Rockets players near the end of a hard-fought national TV game in January; dropping 38 points, including a halfcourt dagger to send the game to a second overtime, against the Atlanta Hawks in March; and, finally, demolishing the Cleveland Cavaliers rookie sensation LeBron James at both ends of the court to secure win number 50.

Best Excuse To Play the Lottery
The children. With Tennessee college scholarship funds tied to lottery play, your dirty little gambling habit now has an up side. Lucky you.

Best Dance Floor
Backstreet’s Coliseum. On any given Saturday night before January 2004, Backstreet was a cramped little gay club where you had to elbow your way through sweaty bodies onto the tiny dance floor. Getting bopped on the head a few times by some dancing diva was a given. But these days, it’s a whole new fabulous story. The Coliseum, which was once a warehouse, has a massive hardwood dance floor with three dance podiums, a large lounge area with comfy sofas, and a waterwall bar.

Best Collective Success Story
Local filmmakers. This year, locally connected filmmakers Ira Sachs and Craig Brewer followed the film-fest success of debut features The Delta and The Poor & Hungry, respectively, with bigger-budget locally shot follow-ups (Forty Shades of Blue and Hustle & Flow) that have a chance at much wider distribution. Meanwhile, MeDiA Co-op’s Morgan Jon Fox scored a film-fest success story of his own with his second feature, Blue Citrus Hearts, and hopes to do so again with the recently completed away(A)wake.

Best Place to Make You Cry
The Memphis Animal Shelter. Got some pent-up sadness you need to let loose? Just head over to the Memphis Animal Shelter. Looking at all those poor caged doggies on death row is a surefire way to make the tears fall. But if you’re prone to raging fits, you might ought to stay away. Poop is sometimes cleaned out of cages with a hose while the dogs are still inside, leaving them shivering and cold. If you do check it out, though, be sure and rescue at least one dog from shelter hell.

Best Place To Meditate

In your car while you’re sitting stock-still in the middle of a traffic jam on the I-240 loop between the Little Rock and Nashville exits. Sure, Malfunction Junction is still malfunctioning, but this bit of interstate, with its miles of construction work, is a traffic-stopper too.

Best Place to Buy Magazines
Republic Coffee. It seems obvious to put a magazine rack filled with hard-to-find titles in a Midtown coffeeshop. Yet Republic Coffee is the only coffeehouse in Midtown that carries a decent collection of underground and/or independent magazines. Some of their more popular mags include Bitch (a feminist analysis of pop culture), Under the Radar (a music mag for the hipster set), and Clamour (a liberal rag for radicals). The only drawback to selling mags in coffeeshops is that you must purchase the publication before flipping through its pages.

Best Anti-War Theater
Goodtime Speech by Memphis playwright Randy Wayne Youngblood, directed by Alex Cooke and presented by Our Own Voice Theatre Company. Here’s what the Flyer had to say about Youngblood’s play: “[In Goodtime Speech], we are presented with a topsy-turvy world where the irrational is rational, where patriotic songs fill the void created by death, where families mourn and politicians celebrate. One often-repeated line: ‘I had to put the flag in the washing machine to get all the dirt out of it.’ That just about says it all.” And it just about does.

Best Free Political Satire that Isn’t Really Satire/Best Reason to Listen to that Crazy Guy in the Tinfoil Hat

Mayor Herenton and his “lazy-ass cops.” Two police officers stop a car for speeding. They see the driver of the car putting something inside a hat. As this routine traffic stop escalates into a drug bust, a white van pulls up. Out jumps W.W. Herenton, Memphis’ 12-foot-tall mayor-for-life. Herenton scolds the officers, declaring, “Lazy-ass cops,” the most pestilent of all the awful plagues gripping Memphis. This is the same mayor who used his inauguration speech to tell Memphians how God sometimes tells him things. It really is better than fiction.

Best Place to Feel Like You’re on an Acid Trip When You’re Not

The restrooms at XY & Z. The bathroom doors in these one-person bathrooms are built so that they’re slanted away from the toilet area, and the tile on the wall is placed diagonally. When you’re in there, it’s hard not to think for just a moment that you may be having a flashback. Beware: If you’re having a few drinks at this Midtown after-hours bar, remember that angled surfaces and drunk people don’t mix. You may need a buddy to help you keep your balance.

Memphis’ Most Political Artist

Jan Hankins. Even before 2000 when the American electorate became so very polarized, Hankins’ skillful brush dripped with anger. His large canvasses are full of surrealist tricks and nods to the underground comics of the 1960s. Smoke-belching nonsense-engines driven by ample women in star-spangled bikinis and protected by brutish men with guns threaten to set the world on fire at every turn. Hankins’ paintings represent a nightmare world but still manage to look nice over the sofa. Good show!

Best Place to Recoup City Revenue Losses
In front of 201 Poplar. You’d think that people entering and exiting from a building that houses the city jail and the police department would be wary about breaking the law. Unfortunately for drivers using Poplar Avenue, the area between Second Avenue and Danny Thomas is a maze of jaywalking Memphians. With one lane already out of service due to idling police cars, the short stretch narrows to one lane because pedestrians use the remaining lane to talk and sometimes just meander. If the police ticketed each of these jaywalkers, surely the city would have enough money to stall a property tax — or at least enough to pay for an MLGW pension.

Best Sporting Event

Ford family smackdown. On July 10th, Fords John (state senator) and Joe (commissioner) and Jake and Isaac (both Harold Sr.’s sons) entered the ring during a Memphis Wrestling event. They were there to back up a friend getting whupped by a threesome that included Jerry “The King” Lawler.

Best Use of Double-Talk

Mayor Herenton’s “nationwide search.” Last year, the mayor made a marked man of MLGW president Herman Morris, pushing him to resign. A month later, Herenton was rubbing shoulders with God and recommending city finance director Joseph Lee for Morris’ old position. “Foul!” cried the City Council. “We want someone with utility experience.” The always-agreeable mayor then conducted a “nationwide search” which still included Lee’s name at the top of the list. Who knew that the mayor’s nation only extended to City Hall?

Best Place to Meet a New Friend

The Flying Saucer. This place is great for talkative people. The open-air seating looking out on Second Street provides the perfect opportunity for lunch and dinner patrons to yell out random greetings to passersby. Just last week, a male patron was heard yelling a marriage proposal to a female pedestrian. While no one heard her response, the man immediately purchased a round of beer for the entire bar. Will it be a June wedding?

Best Bargain for the Buck

Libertyland. We know that this place is trash-talked for its aging and limited rides. But for a family looking to have a little fun without having to mortgage the house, Libertyland is the place. It’s not always the quantity that matters but the quality, and this place delivers with pleasant operators, tidy grounds, and short lines. Throw in the Midway during the Mid-South Fair and it’s on! Besides, any place that serves funnel cakes at 10 a.m. is okay with us.

Best Daily Lunch Site To Encounter Politicians and Other Civic Notables

Hands down, it’s the Little Tea Shop on Monroe, which also has the best hostess/proprietor, Suhair Lauck, and some of the best plate lunches around.

Best Thoroughfare

It’s Poplar Avenue, which is Shelby County’s real Main Street, running from the river and the Government Center downtown all the way to Collierville, passing through prime parkland, shopping areas, and posh residential addresses along the way.

Best School/Crossing Guards

The ones at Cordova High School, who give service with a smile through the most visibly trying circumstances.

Best Free Show

Any of the criminal courtrooms at 201 Poplar. Nelson Algren would have had a field day.

Best Local Musician to Skip Town

Greg Cartwright. Once of revered local garage-punk bands the Compulsive Gamblers and the Oblivians, Cartwright has been to Memphis rock over the past decade what Alex “Big Star” Chilton was in another era: not a star in his own time but a legend-in-the-making. But as his latest band, the flawless Reigning Sound, prepped the release of its third record, Too Much Guitar!, Cartwright relocated to Asheville, North Carolina. You can take the boy out of Memphis

Best Album by Local Musician to Skip Town

East Nashville Skyline by Todd Snider. Snider got his start as a local troubadour, honing his craft at the now-defunct Daily Planet. He headed down the highway to Nashville, where all rootsy singer-songwriters eventually land, years ago and never has made it “big.” But he’s still managed to age like wine somehow, as illustrated by this career-best album — the smartest, funniest, most humane, and most modest bit of social commentary this bitter election season is likely to see. You better believe we’ll still claim him.

Best Place to Buy a Hat
Mr. Hats in Poplar Plaza. This store offers a dizzying array of toppers and an old-fashioned sales staff that takes hats seriously, very seriously. It’s fun to go into a store where a wannabe MC is trying on an R. Kelly cap next to an aging blueblood agonizing over which floppy Tilley hat will look best in the Grove.

Best Golf Course Nobody Plays

T.O. Fuller Golf Course. T.O. Fuller offers some of the most hilly terrain in Shelby County and lots of privacy. The greens are tiny and the fairways are so sloped the carts should have four-wheel drive. But it’s all yours, baby. Pretend you own the place.

Best Quick Read for Local Film Fans

The Black Lodge Video new-release newsletter. The ostensibly just-the-facts-ma’am, ALL CAPS synopses in these semiregular four-page tip sheets from the Cooper-Young video store regularly veer into comical screeds, fanboy raves, or intentional unintentional comedy. (After fumbling the plot of The Passion of the Christ, they apologized: “Sorry, we don’t read much fiction around here.”) Better, though not for the easily offended, are the film blurbs in “The Book of Filth” on the store’s Web site (BlackLodgeVideo.org), in which unspeakable exploitation movies sit matter-of-factly beside such accidental atrocities as Bibleman! (“the Christian Coalition version of Batman an absolute riot”) and The Joe Piscopo Halloween Special (“a must for any fan of bad comedy”).

Best Music Festival

The Memphis Music & Heritage Festival. Smaller crowds, fewer fratboys, no rivers of urine on the sidewalks. Great, diverse sampling of local music. Nice downtown setting. Free. Others are bigger; none are better.

Best Sigh of Relief

The cancellation of the 50th Anniversary of Rock-and-Roll concert. Could you imagine the kind of chaos that would ensue if Rey Flemings, as head of the Memphis and Shelby County Music Commission, had been able to nail down this event? The naysayers wouldn’t be able to tsk-tsk about Memphis being a third-rate city. Then what? THEN WHAT?

Best Things To Do with The Pyramid Besides Turning It into a Casino 2004
1. Local celebrity boxing. Remember, every Wednesday night is Carol Chumney night!

2. Survivor XX: The Pointed House.
3. Terrorist-seeking missile silo.

4. Fill the whole thing with little plastic balls for the kiddies.

5. Detention center for visiting Iraqi VIPs just in case they get any funny ideas.

6. Kevin Kane should personally offer the arena to the pope free of charge. It’s newer than the Vatican, it’s virtually unused, and it’s shaped like a pyramid, which is meaningless but pretty darn cool. His Holiness would have direct access to FedEx. Having the Vatican in Memphis would also bring about a big increase in tourism to rival the 50th Anniversary of Rock-and-Roll.

7. Bomb shelter.

8. Install a roller coaster.

9. A museum dedicated to dearly departed Harold von Braunhut. He’s the guy who invented Sea Monkeys, X-Ray Specs, and all the crazy crap you used to see advertised in comic books. Sure, his politics were a little racist, but he invented Sea Monkeys. And he’s from Memphis.

10. Paint the mother pink! •

Categories
Politics Politics Beat Blog

POLITICS

NOT QUITE A GO

Yes, Willie Herenton had a fundraiser Saturday night, at $250 a head, but its purpose Ð though earmarked on the invitation as being for the honoreeÕs ÒreelectionÓ — remains obscure, as does the political future of MemphisÕ erstwhile Òmayor for life.Ó The bottom line: He is uncertain whether he wants to continue in office.

A year ago, Herenton was in the process of walking through a smashing election victory, his fourth since 1991, and there were no conceivable rivals in sight. Things have changed though, as the mayor acknowledged during his evening-long, drop-in event at Beale StreetÕs Plush Club, one that wrapped around the Johnson-Jones light heavyweight title fight at the FedEx Forum.

ÒThere are a lot of names you hear,Ó said the mayor about potential aspirants for his job, Òand some of them are frightening to even think about. I mean that as a citizen. People should be frightened to think about some of these folks trying to take over.Ó

But, though Herenton said he was getting active encouragement to run again in 2007, Òfrom the business community, in particular,Ó his message Saturday night Ð an unusual one for this preternaturally assertive ex-Golden Glove champion, an Alpha Male is there ever was one Ð was that he was doubtful about his future political course.

ÒThere have been so many ups and downs this past year,Ó confessed a mayor who has conducted a running battle with members of his city council and of late has had to endure the specter of an FBI investigation and a whispering campaign about possible improprieties on his part or on that of his administration.

ÒNone of that is what it seems to be. IÕm okay,Ó insisted Herenton. But the troubled look n his face as he dealt with the matter clearly attested to a measure of strain and anxiety.

ÒYouÕre probably right,Ó the mayor said when it was suggested that he appeared dubious about seeking reelection and that such a course was chancy, repeating, ÒYouÕre probably right.Ó But he noted that, in addition to Saturday nightÕs event, he would be holding a Òmajor fundraiserÓ sometime in 1995.

Asked about persistent rumors that he intends to resign shortly after the New Year, the mayor hazarded a thin smile and shook his head slowly in apparent dismissal, but his murmured denial sounded anything but firm.

Instead, he looked beyond the current time frame. ÒPeople wonder what my legacy will be,Ó said the man who has never been bashful about asserting either his agenda or what he regards as his accomplishments. ÒI donÕt know. ThatÕs something that people who write the histories will have to judge.Ó

That Herenton is thinking out loud about his legacy rather than about his next move in the chess game of politics is itself something of a revelation. Hours later, at the Forum, the cityÕs chief executive was at ringside when longtime boxing icon Roy Jones suffered a surprising knockout loss to International Boxing Federation light heavyweight champion Glen Johnson.

ÒWhen I was with Roy last night, I could tell his heart wasnÕt in boxing,Ó the mayor said sadly. One was tempted to conclude the same thing about Herenton and politics.

Command Performance: Remember when MemphisÕ Anthony ÒAmpÓElmore used to be simultaneously the holder of a championship kick-boxing belt and the promoter of various championship fights in which he would take on an opponent? You had to wonder how on-the-level such a thing could be.

Similar thoughts crossed the minds of some of those invited for an Open House to the home of Shelby County Commissioner John Willingham and his wife Marge on Fairchild Cove in East Memphis Sunday night. It was billed by Commissioner Willingham as a reception for the several candidates seeking to succeed the recently vacated District #1 commission seat of Linda Rendtorff, now director of community services for county mayor A C Wharton.

Since one of the aspirants for that seat is teacher Karla Templeton, daughter of Commissioner Willingham, some of the skeptics might have been forgiven for their doubts. As it turned out, however, most of the serious contenders for the vacancy were on hand, as were a fair number of WillinghamÕs commission colleagues, media people, and others. In fact, it was right smart of a party Ð with a wet bar and food furnished by Bar-b-q maven Willingham himself Ð and all of the politicking seemed to be congenial and on the up-and-up.

Best yet, nobody made speeches.

Among the candidates for RendtorffÕs vacancy who showed up, besides Templeton: Billy Orgel, Wyatt Bunker, Mike Carpenter, Mike Ritz, George Flinn, Jay Sparks, Mark White, Lester Lit, and Phil Kantor.

The same cast of characters, plus others (one new entrant is Jeff Hynes, son of Dr. Leonard Hynes and county Election Commissioner Nancy Hynes) were invited to a specially called commission meeting Wednesday, at which all the hopefuls were extended the opportunity to state their credentials and purposes for the record.

District 1 Candidates Face Off: Some, perhaps most, of the races this fall for Memphis school board positions will be dry, civil affairs conducted in dry, civil ways. The race for District 1, at large, isnÕt like that at all.

Sparks Ð or, more aptly Ð mortar rounds flew Monday night at Central Library on Poplar during a League of Women Voters forum for the six District 1 contestants. Most of the action came in a three-way battle royal involving incumbent Wanda Halbert and her chief challengers, Robert Spence and Kenneth Whalum Jr.

Though each of the three other contestants Ð Mary Taylor Shelby, Menelik C. Fombi, and Chuck Thompson Ð had their moments, they were largely in the position of onlookers as the fireworks flew.

Former city attorney Spence, who has a current radio commercial attacking Halbert head-on for excessive travel expenses and other alleged offenses Ð took shots from the incumbent for the fact that his two school-age sons do not attend public school. ÒI am not the custodial parent,Ó was the response he gave Monday night. He defended his commercial Ð which included a dig at Halbert for purportedly disdaining a bologna-sandwich lunch once proffered to school board members Ð as being based on Òfacts.Ó

Halbert also took aim at opponent Whalum, making a reference to Òsexual innuendoesÓ that would mystify some until after the forum, when sometime radio shock-jock Thaddeus Matthews made the rounds, passing out CD copies of an on-air interview heÕd done with Whalum, one in which Whalum, pastor of Olivet Baptist Church, appeared to acknowledge occasional use of profanity and other unconventional pulpit techniques.

Whalum — whose claque was somewhat more demonstrative than those of Halbert and Spence, clapping loudly whenever he spoke Ð repeated several times that he decided to make the school board race after seeing TV news broadcasts in which ÒI saw members of the school board publicly berating staff members at MCS [Memphis city schools].Ó

Among candidatesÕ specific proposals: Halbert suggested more computer programs and extension of the systemÕs optional school program to every school in the district; Whalum suggested arrangements with the business community whereby parents could have paid leaves to address their childrenÕs school issues. He and Thompson both called for closing under-utilized schools, while Spence argued for a go-slow policy in school closing, in recognition that some such schools were Òintegral to the community.Ó Shelby called for ÒundercoverÓ police activity at schools to police gang activity.

Among the other issues addressed were those of extra-curricular activity (everybody was for it), corporal punishment (opinions varied, with Shelby and Whalum strongly for, Fombi against, and the others qualifying their support); and construction contracting (proposals ranged from WhalumÕs call for stronger enforcement of existing standards to FombiÕs suggestion that projects be scaled down to ShelbyÕs advocacy of a crackdown on Ònepotism, favoritism, and cronyism.Ó

Some proposals Ð such as ThompsonÕs suggestion for drastic revision of course offerings Ð seemed beyond the scope of Board members, a point Halbert noted when she said the Board was limited in its charge to general policies, budgetary oversight, and supervision of its Òone employee,Ó the superintendent.

Left unaddressed at the forum were the question of consolidation and the issue of the federally mandated No Child Left Behind program.

After the forum, one or two advocates for Halbert pointed out with evident satisfaction that candidates Spence and Whalum were likely to split up the anti-incumbent vote. Whalum, addressing that point independently, volunteered that heÕd been approached by one of SpenceÕs backers seeking his withdrawal. ÒI told him to tell Robert he could withdraw,Ó said Whalum.

That was then; this is now. Whoever is in is going to stay in on the ballot, and the candidates for this position will no doubt generate a good deal more of both heat and light between now and November 2nd.

Categories
Politics Politics Beat Blog

FROM MY SEAT

THE CENTURY CLUB

For the first time since 1985, the St. Louis Cardinals have achieved the magic number of 100 wins. In 113 years of Cardinal baseball, there have been more world champions in St. Louis (9) than there have been 100-win teams (7). Seems like a golden opportunity to compare the 2004 Cards with the last team to break the century mark. (The ‘85 Cardinals are listed first in each comparison.)

CATCHER — Darrell Porter vs. Mike Matheny. Porter offered some winning intangibles (he was MVP of the 1982 World Series), but I just can’t forgive him for that passed ball in Game 6 against the Royals. Matheny and his two gold gloves are priceless behind the plate these days. Credit him with much of the alarming success of the 2004 Cardinal starters. Edge: 2004.

FIRST BASE — Jack Clark vs. Albert Pujols. Clark was the spine of that fleet-footed bunch in ‘85, and his pennant-winning home run in Game 6 of the NLCS was one of the most electric moments in Cardinal history. But then there’s Prince Albert, the second-most dangerous hitter in the game today. Edge: 2004.

SECOND BASE — Tom Herr vs. Tony Womack. This is a tough call. Herr drove in 110 runs in 1985 (with only eight homers) and played a terrific second base. Womack has been a catalyst for the 2004 run-scoring machine, playing a game that belies his 34 years of age. I’m of the school of thought that the hitter who drives in runs is slightly more valuable than the table-setter. Edge: 1985.

SHORTSTOP — Ozzie Smith vs. Edgar Renteria. Renteria remains one of the two or three best all-around shortstops in the game. Rare is the shortstop who can save runs with his glove and drive in runs with his bat with equal precision. A pending free agent, Renteria will be Priority One for general manager Walt Jocketty this winter. But you just can’t give second fiddle to a first-ballot Hall of Famer. No Cardinal fan over the age of 30 will EVER forget Game 5 of the NLCS . . . “Go Crazy, Folks!” Edge: 1985.

THIRD BASE — Terry Pendleton vs. Scott Rolen. Pendleton hadn’t yet won his first gold glove, and he wasn’t the kind of hitter he was when he earned an MVP trophy with Atlanta in 1991. As for Rolen, he’s merely the best two-way player in baseball. A shame his leg injury has cost him an outside chance at this year’s MVP. Edge: 2004.

LEFTFIELD — Vince Coleman vs. Reggie Sanders. At the tender age of 37, Sanders became only the fifth Cardinal in history to hit 20 homers and steal 20 bases in the same season. And his personality has been a dynamic boost to the St. Louis clubhouse, significantly thawing the cold pockets left by J.D. Drew and Tino Martinez. But Coleman put that ‘85 bunch into a new realm of “Whiteyball.” His 110 stolen bases were a rookie record and remain the third highest single-season total in the game’s history. We’ll try and forget the man-eating tarp. Edge: 1985.

CENTERFIELD — Willie McGee vs. Jim Edmonds. Hmmm. McGee won the batting title, a gold glove, and MVP honors in ‘85. Edmonds has hit more than 40 homers, scored 100 runs, and driven in more than 110 this year. He’s a lock for his seventh gold glove. Edge: even.

RIGHTFIELD — Andy Van Slyke vs. Larry Walker. In their respective primes, these two players were surprisingly comparable, both “five-tool” talents who were as well-liked for their personality as they were their skills on the field. Alas, Van Slyke never won an MVP or batting title. Edge: 2004.

ROTATION — Tudor/Andujar/Cox/Forsch vs. Morris/Williams/Carpenter/Marquis. Another tough comparison. John Tudor was lights-out in ‘85, with an ERA under 2.00, and Joaquin Andujar was a money pitcher, notwithstanding his meltdown in Game 7 of the Series that year. As for the ‘04 bunch, they’ve “over-achieved” and will be the Cardinals’ biggest question mark entering the postseason. Edge: 1985.

BULLPEN — Jeff Lahti/Todd Worrell vs. Jason Isringhausen. The ‘85 club was Whitey Herzog’s “bullpen by committee” prototype, with Worrell’s late-season promotion helping hold off a powerful Mets team in the regular season. Izzy’s on the verge of breaking Lee Smith’s season record for saves by a Cardinal (47). I like having a workhorse in the pen, THE guy when it comes to the final three outs. Edge: 2004.

Let’s see. In our fantasy matchup, this year’s team takes the prize by the slightest of margins, 5 to 4 (with one even). Keep in mind, that 1985 team lost the World Series to Kansas City (and Don Denkinger). Over the last 25 years, only three teams with 100 wins have gone on to win the Series (‘84 Tigers, ‘86 Mets, and ‘98 Yankees). But enough cynicism. As the seventh team out of 113 to win 100 games (and with a shot at the franchise record of 106 wins), the 2004 St. Louis Cardinals have been a team for the ages.

Categories
Politics Politics Beat Blog

POLITICS (WEEKEND EDITION)

WILLINGHAM FETE FOR COMMISSION ASPIRANTS

Remember when Memphis’ Anthony “Amp” Elmore used to be simultaneously the holder of a championship kick-boxing belt and the promoter of various championship fights in which he would take on an opponent? You had to wonder how on-the-level such a thing could be.

Similar thoughts crossed the minds of some of those invited for an Open House to the home of Shelby County Commissioner John Willingham and his wife Marge on Fairchild Cove in East Memphis Sunday night. It was billed by Commissioner Willingham as a reception for the several candidates seeking to succeed the recently vacated District #1 commission seat of Linda Rendtorff, now director of community services for county mayor A C Wharton.

Since one of the aspirants for that seat is teacher Karla Templeton, daughter of Commissioner Willingham, some of the skeptics might have been forgiven for their doubts. As it turned out, however, most of the serious contenders for the vacancy were on hand, as were a fair number of Willingham’s commission colleagues, media people, and others. In fact, it was right smart of a party — with a wet bar and food furnished by Bar-b-q maven Willingham himself — and all of the politicking seemed to be congenial and on the up-and-up.

Best yet, nobody made speeches.

Among the candidates for Rendtorff’s vacancy who showed up, besides Templeton: Billy Orgel, Wyatt Bunker, Mike Carpenter, Mike Ritz, George Flinn, Jay Sparks, Mark White, Lester Lit, and Phil Kantor.

The same cast of characters, plus others, will be on hand for a specially called commission meeting Wednesday, at which they will have the opportunity to state their credentials and purposes for the record.

Categories
Sports Sports Feature

JOHNSON’S HARD RIGHT FELLS JONES AND ENDS AN ERA

Jones (right), not Johnson (left), was the one who sprung a leak on Saturday night..

When Roy Jones Jr. showed up on Thursday for a press conference in the lobby of the Fed Ex Forum, the most noticeable thing about him — the thing that everybody in the arena commented on–was how small, even fragile, he looked.

Dressed in baggy clothes with a big-billed baseball cap turned sideways, sitting behind the long, raised table with the other fighters, promoters, trainers, and hangers-on who had a connection to Saturday night’s boxing bill at the Forum, Jones looked like anything other than what he was.

Which was this: the former champion in a multiplicity of boxing divisions; the man deemed over and over, even as recently as his shocking second-round knockout loss in a title fight to light-heavyweight Antonio Tarver back in May, as “the best fighter in the world, pound-for-pound.”

Looks, as everybody knows, can be deceiving. Reputations aren’t. So Jones, who had actually been a heavyweight champion as recently as last year, got the lion’s share (pun unintended but appropriate) of questions.

As for Glen Johnson, the unprepossessing Jamaica-born International Boxing Federation light-heavy champ, whose record was a journeyman’s 40-9-2, the measure of respect he got can best be estimated from the fact that, when he was introduced at the Thursday-afternoon press conference and started to speak, he was hollered at from the back row of the press ranks by an exasperated Woody Baird of the Associated Press.

“Talk into the mike!” shouted Baird in his best no-nonsense manner, and Johnson modestly complied, going on to say nothing much that anybody noted at the time. Jones, on the other hand, was full of throwaway phrases — though these, too, would be less than memorable a few days later.

Above all, he pramised a good show to the city of Memphis, which — in a reprise of the Lennox Lewis-Mike Tyson circumstances of two years back — had adopted him, the challenger, as its hero rather than the nominal champion he was fighting, who was, after all, regarded as nothing more than a tune-up for a third Jones-Tarver fight (the first, last November, had been a disputed decision for Jones).

Tarver, too, the glib, engaging champion and holder of most light-heavy belts, would later descend on the city, with an eye toward lobbying the boxing crowd and the media to build a gate for the completion of what he called, somewhat grandly, a “trilogy.”

Mayor Willie Herenton was one of the locals heavily engaged in trying to achieve the same end. Like Jones himself, Tarver was much in evidence in the mayor’s company and was one of the chief exhibits at Herenton’s evening-long Saturday night drop-in fundraiser at Beale Street’s Plush Club.

The fight itself was a revelation. When Jones entered the ring and threw off his robe, he seemed buff and cut, as he had at Friday’s weigh-in at Budweiser Pavilion, but looked surprisingly spindly. And laid-back. The attitude and the image corresponded to each other, quantum-physics style. former Golden Glover Herenton would later say, “When I was with Roy last night [Friday], I could tell his heart wasn’t in boxing.”

So could Johnson evidently. The unsung IBF champion charged Jones at the first bell and kept slugging away furiously, forcing Jones to play rope-a-dope in his own corner, responding with only a couple of hard keep-away lefts to the charging Johnson’s body. Though surely most spectators were wondering if Johnson had spent himself, he was it again in Round Two, keeping up the pressure, and though Jones showed a flash of his old speed in Round Three, throwing quick punches that fairly whistled, he was still on the defensive, and he didn’t manage a good offensive flurry until the fourth round — one that didn’t keep Johnson off the attack but did get the crowd of almost 20,000 engaged on Jones’ side.

“Roy! Roy! Roy!” they chanted, keeping it up in Round Five when the fighters traded onslaughts. Round Six was more of the same. It was like one of those slugfests in a Rocky movie, with Jones and Johnson lunging back and forth and trading single salvoes.

After Round Seven, the venerable Bert Sugar, proprietor of The Ring, a publication sometimes referred to as boxing’s “Bible,” intoned his judgment from his fourth-row ringside seat. “Five-Two,” he said, and emphasized his meaning by a broad sweep of his hatted head toward Johnson’s corner.

It was over in the ninth when, early in the round, Jones was caught flat-footed by a hard right that looked even more ferocious than the left Tarver had nailed him with in May. Jones didn’t fall down; he toppled, hitting the canvas hard and lying motionless, flat on his back — staying there and being administered to even as a wild celebration by Johnson’s camp — which included rapper/actor Ice T — raged around him.

“It’s kind of sad, seeing a legend end this way,” said Sugar, adding,”it’s over.”

Tarver, who had been sitting at ringside, too, came over and agreed. “He’s done,” he said. “I really hate to see Roy go out this way.” The man who had been pumping so hard to see “the trilogy” completed now seemed full of genuine compassion for his erstwhile rival. “I wouldn’t fight him. He’s been great, but he doesn’t need to fight anybody now. He should go on and try to be an ambassador for the sport or something.”

Mayor Herenton allowed, in an understatement, that the city’s hopes for a third Jones-Tarver spectacular were “messed up” but he nodded toward Tarver and said hopefully, “We still have him.”

Actually, Memphis may still have Johnson, too, who was suddenly — and understandably — being regarded with respect. At a post-fight press conference he enthused about Memphis, promised to fight again here, and seemed equal-parts modest and proud of himself. “I’m not one of those gold medal winners,” he said, contrasting himself with ex-Olympians like Jones. “I came into boxing through the back door.” His answers to reporters’ questions were clear but uncomplicated.

Asked to “talk about” the right hand that had felled Jones and, in effect, ended a boxing era, Johnson flashed a toothy grin and replied, in his Jamaica-inflected accent, “You want me to talk about the right?” He briefly re-enacted the punch. “Right. Chin. That’s it!”

Dan Goosen, the champion’s promoter, was all compliments to the city and the other principals involved in the fight. He had only one complaint. Posters and other pre-fight materials had focused on Jones and minimized his man. He pointed out that the picture on the official credentials badges showed only Jones and a punching bag that leaked sawdust.

“This punching bag hits back!” grinned Johnson, who will not have to worry the next time he fights in Memphis — or anywhere else. His picture will be on the posters and the badges, and people will know who he is. Roy Jones does already; that’s for sure.


“Right! Chin! That was it!” said Johnson (right). That was it for Jones, all right.

—photo by Larry Kuzniewski

Categories
Sports Sports Feature

JONES VS. JOHNSON AT FEDEX FORUM

It may not be Tyson-Lewis (it may, in fact, be a better fight!), but Saturday night’s Jones-Johnson match is as good a way to get a spiffy new downtown athletic arena going as any.

Though Glen Johnson is the actual holder of the International Boxing Federation’s “World Light Heavyweight Champsionship” (one of many titles offered by a kaleidoscope of different boxing organizations), all eyes at the FedEx Forum Saturday night will be on the challenger, Roy Jones, the erstwhile “best fighter in the world, pound-for-pound,” who hopes to do to Johnson what Hurricane Ivan just did to Jones’ hometown of Pensacola, Florida.

Jones, who has held titles in several different divisions has a record of 39-2, tarnished by only two defeats — one a technical disqualification in a 1997 fight he was handily winning over Montell Griffin (avenged by a one-round knockout in a rematch). The other loss, suffered last May, is more problematic. He was tagged with a solid left by Antonio Tarver in the second round and was out for the count, losing a plethora of light-heavy belts in the process. . This came after a controversial split decision over Tarver in a previous 12-round bout.

Hence, the Johnson fight is widely regarded as a comeback for Jones, though the IBF champion, with a record of 40-9-2, is considered something of a journeyman.

Categories
News The Fly-By

Digging Deeper

This week, the City Council approved a resolution requiring the city finance office to submit quarterly budget reviews. Those reviews, which will include budget trends for each city division, spending reports, and year-to-date revisions, have been put in place to predict and minimize any budget shortfalls. The vote comes two weeks after city administrators reported that overtime costs and costs related to the July 2003 windstorm combined for a $30 million shortfall in the 2004 budget.

During last Thursday’s budget committee meeting, City Council members listened to finance director Charles Williamson’s contingency plans designed to offset this year’s budget shortfall and future projected revenue shortages. But one council member — Carol Chumney — was more concerned about the causes of the budget shortfall.

“I was shocked and amazed at [Mayor Herenton’s] announcement and what he said about council members being asleep on the job,” said Chumney. “For them to come in and say that about $20 million was taken from the reserve fund to make up for this year’s shortfall, that blew my mind.” In a Commercial Appeal article, Herenton was quoted as saying that council members should have been aware of the city’s fiscal situation.

Following reports by Williamson and his staff and information presented by the U of M’s Sparks Bureau of Business and Economic Research, Chumney presented her own report, one that analyzed budget data back to April 2003. Her contention was that city leaders, namely Herenton and then finance director Joseph Lee, were aware of the city’s revenue problems long before the council was notified last week. “We need to know why the city came up with numbers much rosier than the Sparks numbers,” said Chumney. “I think we need some accountability, some answers.”

The city’s plan includes hiring freezes, cost decreases, and phasing out temporary workers and would produce about $32 million in savings. Chumney said the shortfall is closer to $36 million. Herenton has said that an increase in city property taxes may be necessary. Chumney proposes additional budget cuts, including college incentives and tuition reimbursements for employees, food expenses, legal and court costs, Riverfront Development funds, and a hold on nonessential new computer purchases. Those items currently account for $13 million of the budget. “Before you advocate property or payroll taxes, you have to make a reasonable budget and make cuts,” Chumney said. “Only after doing that do you go to the people and ask for a tax increase.”

Budget reports from Sparks had not been made available to council members. Chumney said that if the council had been provided with ongoing revenue reports from Sparks, it would have made more informed decisions before approving the budget for fiscal year 2005. The council approved the budget based on the city’s April forecast data. “Of course, [the council] didn’t ask for the Sparks reports because we didn’t even know they existed,” said Chumney. “Earlier this year it was said that I was too aggressive and was asking too many questions. Now, it’s like we’re not being aggressive enough or asking enough questions. You can’t have it both ways.”

Categories
Food & Wine Food & Drink

FOOD NEWS

This weekend is filled with festivals, which means it’s also filled with food. In Collierville, the 12th annual Partners in Preservation Party will kick off at 7 p.m. Saturday, September 25th, at the Historic Town Square.

The event theme is “The Lizard Lounge,” so drag the bell bottoms, stack shoes, and butterfly-collar shirts out of the closet.

“It’s one of the signature events of Collierville,” says Laura Todd, executive director of Main Street Collierville. ”It’s our fund-raiser that helps us put on other events throughout the year and fund activities such as promoting and protecting our historic square.”

“Taste of the Town” booths will be set up around the square, featuring 25 area restaurants, including Yia Yia’s, Seasons at the White Church, and the Half Shell. There will also be barbecue from Corky’s and the Rendezvous, chocolates from Dinstuhl’s, and ice cream from Lickety Split.

“It will be a great party,” says Todd. “There will be a hospitality train at the depot sponsored by the Grizzlies.”

In keeping with the theme, the Gecko Brothers will perform songs by the Commodores and KC & The Sunshine Band in front of a metallic backdrop. Bubble and fog machines and disco lighting will complete the mood.

In Confederate Park, tables will be set for 10, costing $40 per person, which will cover three beverage tickets and food from the booths.

To reserve a table or purchase advance tickets, call 853-1666.

In Midtown, Evergreen Presbyterian Church will celebrate all things Scottish with its fund-raiser, Clanjamfry, on September 24th through 26th.

The three-day festival will feature an invitation-only dinner on Friday. A live performance Friday and activities Saturday and Sunday will be open to the public.

Friday, from 8 to 10 p.m., Ceilidh, a traditional Scottish dance and music, will be held at the McCallum Ballroom at Rhodes College.

Saturday kicks off with a 5K run (or walk) through Overton Park. The Scottish Faire will open from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. on the lawn of the church at 613 University, across from Rhodes College.

“The faire will feature Scottish foods, vendors selling crafts, a children’s area with games, clan booths, and music,” says volunteer David Canon.

In addition to American foods like hamburgers and hot dogs, traditional Scottish food, such as Scots pie (a meat pastry), shortbread, and haggis will be served in the food tent.

“Haggis is a sausage traditionally cooked in a sheep’s intestine. The ones we have will not be cooked in that way,” says Canon.

The festival began in 1999 to celebrate the history of the Presbyterian Church, which originated in Scotland in 1560.

The sound of bagpipes will set the mood during the day, and an evening concert will be presented in cooperation with the Mid-South Celtic Arts Alliance. Calasaig from Scotland will perform in the church sanctuary at 7 p.m. Saturday. Tickets for this event are $20 per person.

On Sunday a church service called the “Kirkin of the Tartans” a blessing of tartans will be open to visitors at 10:55 a.m. A Southern-style potluck dinner will be served on the lawn afterward. This dinner is free for those who attend the service.

“There will be plenty to eat so visitors don’t have to worry about bringing anything,” Canon says.

Proceeds from the weekend’s festivities support the Recreation Outreach Ministry of the church to fund after-school programs, tutoring, and athletic activities for youth.

Admission Saturday is $5 for adults, $4 for seniors, $2 for students and military personnel with ID, and free for children under age 5.

For more information, contact the church at 274-3740.

Bluefin Edge Cuisine and Sushi lounge is coming to Peabody Place and will be located in the former site of Prime Minister’s. Though initial reports slated the restaurant to open in September, according to Sekisui founder, Jimmy Ishii, Bluefin will open its doors in November. •

Categories
Opinion

[City Beat] Real Deal?

Former Shelby County mayoral aide Tom Jones is expected to be back on the Shelby County Retirement Board’s agenda next month. And the board’s decision could have expensive consequences not just for Jones but for other county employees.

The issue is whether Jones is entitled to early retirement benefits worth $3,090 per month because he was put back on the county employment rolls for four days earlier this year after he was 55 years old. In the county system, age 55 is a threshold for higher benefits. The board will have to determine whether Jones was an employee, even though he apparently did no work and was not paid. That decision will impact his pension.

Shelby County mayor A C Wharton is once again enmeshed in a story that won’t go away. He said Monday he is “99 percent certain” he will recuse himself if the issue comes before the retirement board in October, because “the way I feel is pretty obvious.”

Jones is serving a one-year term in a federal correctional facility in Forrest City, Arkansas, for embezzlement with a county credit card. After working for three county mayors, he was not reappointed by Wharton in 2002. In May, Jones exercised his “fall-back rights” as a civil-service employee 28 years ago. Some paperwork was produced, and apparently without Wharton being aware of it, Jones was approved by the administrator of the retirement board for an increase in his pension from $1,595 to $3,090 per month.

In July, Wharton, who serves as chairman of the retirement board, got wind of what was going on. At the August board meeting, he persuaded members to rescind the increase. A week later, he forced mayoral aides Bobby Lanier and Susan Adler Thorp to resign over their roles in the Jones case. Two other county employees were reprimanded for facilitating the increase, which would be worth more than $500,000 to Jones, 56, if he lives another 30 years.

Beyond that, Jones could set a precedent for other county employees who voluntarily leave county employment before they are 55 years old and then have second thoughts and come back to work for a few days under fall-back rights after they turn 55.

“The plan itself has a gap or glitch in it that applies not just to the Tom Jones issue,” said Susan Callison, private attorney for the retirement board. “Let’s assume I work for the county, and I quit to get a better job, when I am 54 years old. And then I realize I am getting a crummy pension or I don’t like the job. Then I could go to, say, another county official and ask them to hire me after I turn 55 and let me work a few days. That is a flaw.”

Theoretically, at least, the flaw could cost Shelby County, already in debt up to its eyeballs, millions of dollars in pension obligations. Callison said she does not know if other employees may have already exploited the loophole.

Callison said she still thinks such a “return” to county employment is not sufficient to trigger early retirement benefits. But in a letter to board members she wrote that there are “rational arguments both in favor of and against this conclusion.” What got the county off the hook in August was a procedural error within the retirement system.

Now the issue is bigger than the retirement board. Another private attorney, Jeff Weintraub, has been hired by the county to look into the Jones case. Weintraub confirmed his hiring but said he could not comment at this time.

Among the questions to be answered:

Was Jones paid for the three or four days, and, if not, should he be?

Did he report for work, and if so, where and what did he do and for whom?

If it turns out that Jones was paid, “then I think it will be a harder case,” said Callison, but she still believes it is “a common-sense sort of thing that he was not an employee.” Weintraub will file his report before the October meeting of the retirement board. Then the board will vote, and “if there are seven votes in favor of Jones getting an early retirement pension, he will get it,” Callison said.

County records show Jones was “hired” on May 28, 2004, a Friday. On June 1, 2004, a Tuesday after the Memorial Day holiday, Jones informed the county by letter that “I am resigning from county employment, effective immediately.” He requested that his application for early retirement benefits be processed effective that day.

After the August reversal, he reapplied for an early retirement pension. His case was first set for September 7th but postponed until October 5th at the request of his wife, Carolyn Hays Jones, because the attorney she hired, Bruce Kramer, was in trial. •

Categories
Book Features Books

All Smiles?

Created in Darkness

by Troubled Americans:

The Best of McSweeney’s Humor Category

Foreword by Harry Magnan,

Exalted Ruler of Elks Lodge No. 3

Edited by Dave Eggers, Kevin Shay, Lee Epstein, John Warner, & Suzanne Kleid

Knopf, 239 pp., $16.95

In his introduction to Created in Darkness by Troubled Americans, editor Dave Eggers writes that his Web site and journal McSweeney’s “hoped to make a home for stories that were funny without being humorous.” This is in addition to McSweeney’s mission to publish “experimental fiction and journalism.” This is despite the very subtitle of Created in Darkness, “The Best of McSweeney’s Humor Category.”

Well, what’ll it be? Funny stories that aren’t humorous but fall into the humor category? Stories that aren’t humorous and aren’t funny is more like it. (Prime example in this collection: “How Important Moments in My Life Would Have Been Different If I Was Shot in the Stomach” by Jake Swearingen.)

But why stop at stories? The lists that fill this book — “Canceled Regional Morning TV Shows” (e.g., I Said Wake the Hell Up, Knoxville! Jesus!); “Actual Academic Journals Which Could Be Broadway Shows If They Had Exclamation Points Added!” (e.g., Yale Journal of Criticism!); “Bad Names for Professional Wrestlers” (e.g., The Wilting Zinnia); and “Capitalized Words and Phrases Appearing in The Official Sea-Monkey Handbook” (e.g., “More” [twice]) — are nothing to write home about either. But by God (or Eggers), they found a home at McSweeney’s.

On the bright side, though: “The Dance Lesson” by Tim Carvell does get good mileage out of the rising angry comments of a dance teacher instructing her (his?) unheard-from dance partner. “Attack of the Fabulons!” by Mark O’Donnell nails the camp quotient when sci-fi B-movies are crossed with high-fashion space invaders. (“We’ve just received word, General. The aliens have destroyed Earth’s last remaining Gabor sister.”) “Goofus, Gallant, Rashomon” by Jim Stallard updates, and upends, the good/bad duo you remember from Highlights for Children. And “Rapper or Toiletry?” by Mike Daulton is, for once, a list that works. (Question: “Nice & Smooth” — toiletry or rapper? Answer: rapper. “Q-Tip”? Answer: toiletry and rapper.)

But the one word for Todd Pruzan’s three-page, heavily footnoted analysis of “A Short Fictional Passage Entitled ‘Drift Nets,’ in Which Several Enterprising Characters Troll the High Seas, Exploring Abandoned Trade Vessels for ‘Pirated’ Goods, and Learn To Cope with Distinct Personalities in a Close-Knit, High-Stress Environment”: obnoxious.

For an analysis of comic writing on an astronomically higher level of intellect, see The Irresponsible Self: On Laughter and the Novel (Farrar Straus Giroux) by James Wood, literary editor at The New Republic. But, like the troubled Americans who submit to McSweeney’s, it’s no laughing matter. Wood calls his topic the “comedy of irresponsibility,” and he borrows from Freud (who distinguished between humor, comedy, and jokes — just like Eggers?) to describe it as “the humor that smiles through tears.” Think of Cervantes, Shakespeare, and modern masters on both sides of the Atlantic — Isaac Babel, Italo Svevo, Joseph Roth, Saul Bellow, and Henry Green — and you get the idea. Tom Wolfe gets the shaft. Newcomers Jonathan Franzen and Zadie Smith get a cautious thumbs up. •