Month: May 2005

Categories
Film Features Film/TV

In Knots

Jane Fonda has meant a number of things to each decade in which she’s lived in the public eye. In her early years, she was Henry Fonda’s daughter. In the 1960s, she was Hollywood’s talented sex kitten (see Barbarella). In the ’70s, she was “Hanoi Jane,” chatting up the Viet Cong and generally pissing off a lot of Americans. In the ’80s, reinvented again, she was the fitness guru, and in the ’90s, she was Mrs. Ted Turner. During most of that time, she was more than all of those things. She was an actress and quite a brilliant one at that: The China Syndrome, Klute, Coming Home, Julia, even 9 to 5. But then, just before marrying Ted in 1991, Fonda just stopped making movies, leading to an unfortunate 15-year absence.

Now, it is 2005, a decade not yet stamped with any particular Fonda notoriety, and she is back. In treacle. In Monster-in-Law.

Fonda plays Viola Fields, a Barbara Walters-style television interviewer who suffers a nervous breakdown on the set of her show, a show from which she has just been canned in favor of a fresh, young face. Her last interview is with a Britney Spears-esque twit who doesn’t read the newspaper and thinks that Roe v. Wade refers to boxing. The breakdown (which I contend is psychotic rather than nervous) ends with Viola lunging for the songstress’ throat on-camera. If you have seen the Spears interview with Michael Moore in Fahrenheit 9/11, you too will understand the throat-lunging impulse.

Meanwhile, a perky young woman, Charlie (Jennifer Lopez), just can’t seem to find love, even though she is smart, beautiful, creative, and fun. When fate has her meet a successful doctor (Alias star Michael Vartan), she falls quickly in love despite some insecurities about her lowly profession as an odd-job maven.

Counting Monster-in-Law, I have now seen three of Lopez’s movies, and they all share that distinction. In Maid in Manhattan, Lopez was a humble maid trying to make ends meet while scoring with a promising politico. In Enough, she was a humble waitress who marries into a wealthy (and nuts-o) family and must overcome the class thing in order to feel good about herself and kill her abusive husband. In all three films, she considers herself undateable and an ugly duckling. I sense a pattern here. What is most certainly common in these films is that they are fantasies — not the least of which is that women like Lopez cannot get dates.

Anyway, Mr. Right, er, Kevin, has a catch. It’s his mom. Viola. She’s spent months in the funny farm and is ready to meet the new girlfriend. Mom and Charlie hit it off so well that Kevin proposes marriage right there at their first meeting. Viola is sent into a psychotic rage so entire that it begins with casual sabotage of Charlie’s happiness and ends with what could be attempted murder.

Monster-in-Law is, essentially, about a mother and a girlfriend duking it out over the affections of their wiener of a son/boyfriend. (Who proposes in front of their mother?) So, it’s J-Lo and J-Fo. Who, oh, who will win? TV’s Wanda Sykes appears as Viola’s assistant and offers much needed comic relief, as does Broadway’s Elaine Stritch, as the film’s unfunny deus ex machina.

This film is, I think, a shrewd move for Fonda. The movie’s no good (there — that’s my review), but it will make money, and Lopez will have a hit after a brief run of flops and media uninterest. But Fonda, whose autobiography just came out along with her fitness workouts on DVD, gets to make her Big Return in the low-stakes safety of this piffle while drawing attraction to those other projects. Monster-in-Law is like rebound sex — inconsequential, forgettable, and it gets it out of the system. Without the nervous anticipation (does she still have it? how does she look?), her next film can be more appreciated.

Good for Jane. Good for us.

Categories
News The Fly-By

AMEREICAN SPLENDOR

Did you know that in Tennessee it’s perfectly legal for a man to rape his wife? Sure it is! So long as the overly randy hubby doesn’t pull out a weapon or cause serious physical injury to his spouse, he may perform otherwise prisonable acts upon his unwilling wife with complete impunity. For 10 years, the overwhelmingly male Tennessee legislature has considered and rejected legislation that would make spousal rape as serious an offense as any other type of rape and now, according to a recent editorial in The Tennessean, lawmakers are once again “straining to find excuses to let the bill fail.” Because if you shoot another man’s cow, it’s a crime. If you shoot your own, it’s just supper. — Chris Davis

Plante: How It Looks

Categories
Editorial Opinion

EDITORIAL

Ever since Claude Rains, as Captain Renault in the 1943 classic film Casablanca, professed to be “shocked! shocked!” to discover gambling going on at Rick’s Place (he then went on to cash in his chips), the line has been a staple of ironists and satirists.

Were it not for the obvious tragedy going on in Afghanistan, the current declarations of outrage coming from the White House would also be regarded with bemused irony. Various administration spokespersons attempted this week to lay the blame for the burnings and riots and deaths and protests against the American presence in Afghanistan on Newsweek magazine. Good luck selling that one, fellas. The facts say otherwise.

Newsweek did report last week, in a short item written by Michael Isikoff, that copies of the Muslim holy book had been flushed down toilets by jailers at the U.S. detention facility at Guantanamo Bay. But the magazine’s account was merely the most recent in a series of reports by various news organizations on such incidents. This week, an industrious blogger toted up the number of media allegations over the past three years that Korans were being flushed down toilets at Guantanamo. A partial list: The Denver Post, the Melbourne Herald Sun, The Financial Times of London, USA Today, The New York Daily News, The Independent of London, The San Francisco Chronicle, and The Washington Post.

Meanwhile, the administration sputters in ex-post-facto indignation and, yes, shock. If they are truly so out of touch with reality that they can blame the bloodshed in Afghanistan on an article in Newsweek, it’s little wonder the Taliban is making a comeback. Even that distressing turn of events, in a country this administration has long portrayed as liberated from its brutal former rulers, has until now barely begun to filter through the screen of official deception accepted so docilely by the mainstream media.

How can sentient Americans take this attitude seriously? How can we possibly align ourselves with the offended sensibilities of an administration professing its own innocence in the chaos and bloodshed of the Middle East? Are we to acquiesce in Newsweek‘s meek acceptance of the role of scapegoat? Absurd!

For that matter, are we really supposed to accept Lynndie England and Sabrina Harman and Charles Graner Jr., the low-level Army grunts who have so far been charged and court-martialed, as the sole persons responsible for the torture and abuse — also involving public desecrations of Islam — that took place at Abu Ghraib? That proved too much to accept even for the presiding military judge, who rejected England’s guilty plea that she alone, and not higher-ups, was responsible for the abuses.

We remember the pictures of hooded prisoners and forced masturbation and other humiliations at Abu Ghraib. We haven’t forgotten the all-too-credible reports that systematic degradation of Islam was a tactic urged upon the custodians of Muslim prisoners.

And, while we understand the embarrassment and contrition on the part of Newsweek and its editors, we refuse to blame the messenger in the case of this latest reported atrocity. We don’t feel shocked at anything at all — except that once again we, and world opinion, are being played for suckers.

Categories
News The Fly-By

A Quickie with

Last week, Newsweek released its annual list of America’s best high schools. The ranking is based on the number of college preparatory Advanced Placement (AP) or International Baccalaureate (IB) tests taken last year by all students at each public school, then divided by the number of graduating seniors at those schools. Exams scores are not a factor in the rankings, and the list does not include private schools or schools requiring academic prerequisites for entrance.

Topping the list was Jefferson County High School in the small town of Irondale, Alabama. No school in Tennessee appeared on the list until the mid-300s. (Numbers one to 100 were included in the magazine’s printed May 16th edition. Numbers 101-1,000 were featured in an extended online story.) Locally, White Station High School was ranked 621 (falling from 353 last year) and was the only Memphis or Shelby County school to make this year’s list.

Flyer: White Station made Newsweek‘s list again this year. What do you think about that?

Winnette: Anytime you receive positive recognition, it’s a good thing, but the ranking is definitely not the whole picture of a school. I would really like to see a ranking based on results of the tests and not just the number of students who took them. I think we would fare higher on that type ranking than a lot of the schools on the list.

White Station was the only Memphis school to make the list. What sets this school apart from other public high schools?

Our students are self-motivated and have lofty goals. They know that the AP tests and honors classes are important. We offer 18 AP classes. Two hundred sixty-two students took at least one AP test last year and our success rate was 83 percent. We also have a good mix of parents, teachers, and students who don’t settle for doing or accepting less than they can.

These kids compete against each other in class and on the tests, and that makes a big difference. A teacher can do so much more when students already understand the importance of education than when he/she has to continually motivate her students. At my previous school, kids hid their smarts; here smarts are “in.”

This ranking is based on only one criterion. What other criteria would better represent your school?

The amount of scholarships earned by our students — more than $14 million last school year — where the students were accepted [to college], and our National Merit Scholars. Things like that provide a more complete picture.

Categories
News The Fly-By

SECURE THIS

Commenting on Memphis’ loss of $5 to $8 million in Homeland Security grants, WREG-TV 3 referenced a month-old segment by 60 Minutes about the misuse of Homeland Security funds by smaller cities with less infrastructure to secure. “Converse, Texas, used their Homeland Security grant to transport riding lawn mowers to the annual lawn mower races,” WREG reported. “And Newark, New Jersey, spent a quarter of a million dollars on air-conditioned garbage trucks.” It’s unclear whether Memphis would have used its grant money to build more skyboxes at the FedExForum or to construct a land bridge to Arkansas. — Chris Davis

Plante: How It Looks

Categories
News The Fly-By

WILD IN THE STREET

After it was announced that the boob-obsessed crew from Girls Gone Wild would be visiting the Plush Club on Beale, WMC-TV 5 reported and with a straight face, no less “Opponents of the event say [GGW] doesn’t fit the family-friendly atmosphere that makes Beale Street the number-one tourist attraction in the state.”

Only in Memphis could a street lined almost entirely with bars that sell liquor until 6 a.m. be considered “family-friendly.” To give the critics their due, the event resulted in the arrest of six bartenders. One was cited for disorderly conduct and five for serving drinks to minors who obviously mistook the venue for a Chuck E. Cheese’s. ‹ Chris Davis

Plante: How It Looks

Categories
News The Fly-By

Rats!

A bill passed in the state legislature last week allows local legislative bodies to charge up to $1 a month for rodent and mosquito control. The proposed fee would likely be charged through MLGW bills.

The Memphis and Shelby County Health Department has never levied earmarked funds before, but director Yvonne Madlock called the move “logical.” Vector control is a definable service and one that residents “have indicated they’re willing to pay for,” she said.

“It’s not the most critical health issue, but it’s the one citizens want,” Madlock said. •

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Categories
News The Fly-By

They’re Ba-ack

Pull-a-Part, a regional chain of auto salvage yards, is having a hard time convincing Memphians that they’re not your average junkyard. At a public meeting in South Memphis recently, residents let the company know they don’t approve of Pull-a-Part’s plan to open a facility on Belz Road behind the Southgate Shopping Center.

Pull-a-Part wanted to open a salvage yard in Whitehaven last fall, but opposition forced them to abandon the idea.

The company calls itself the “un-junkyard” due to its environmentally sensitive business practices. According to co-founder Mark Cohen, all cars are drained of oil, gas, Freon, and other contaminants before they’re placed on the lot. Vehicles are also organized by a computer numbering system to give the yard a neat appearance. But many Memphis residents aren’t buying it.

“I can sell you a house, and you can tell me on the front end that you’re going to take care of the property and plant flowers every spring, but I don’t have any control over what you do once you move in,” said Rita Harris, environmental-justice coordinator for the Sierra Club. “We’re looking further down the road.”

Harris says South Memphis residents oppose Pull-a-Part on Belz Road because they fear it will lower property values and increase crime.

The proposed property is currently zoned for light industrial, but the “un-junkyard” is considered heavy industrial. According to Don Jones at the Memphis & Shelby County Division of Planning and Development, the company has applied for “planned-development” status, which means they would be able to locate there without a zoning change or a special use permit, but if they ever left, other heavy industrial businesses would still have to reapply for approval.

Planned-development status also must be voted on by the Land Use Control Board and the City Council, but neither body has heard the issue yet. Last week, a Pull-a-Part representative told Jones they’d like the item postponed.

Cohen would not say if the company is considering withdrawing its application after the public meeting. He did say they are still actively looking at other locations.

“We’re looking for a welcoming community, and we’ve had them in other cities,” said Cohen. “If people would listen and accept us, I think they’d be very happy with us.” •

Categories
Food & Wine Food & Drink

Supply Side

” You wanna see the coolers? ”

Sure, why not?

“We’re one of the last companies that still processes our own meat,” says Fayette Packing owner David Keith. “Our niche has always been fresh.”

Here at Fayette Packing, fresh means animals hanging from the ceiling. Someone has to provide the whole hogs, pork shoulders, and ribs for the teams competing at the three-day Memphis in May World Championship Barbecue Cooking Contest. But can’t you just go to the neighborhood Kroger and fill your cart? Not if you’re in it to win it, according to barbecue experts.

Shelby County commissioner and prize-winning barbecuer John Willingham once drove to a Tennessee farm in Fayette County and picked his own pig, fed it a mixture of food and barbecue seasoning, had it processed at Fayette Packing, and entered it in the contest. “I don’t remember if he won with that pig or not,” says Keith. “But it made for a great story.”

Fayette Packing has been working with barbecue teams for the past 25 years. This year, the company will provide the meat, including 50 whole hogs, for about 100 teams. In the last five years, Keith estimates that Fayette’s meats have finished at least third in the whole-hog, ribs, and shoulder categories. In 2002, the company was the official meat sponsor for the barbecue competition. Their reputation has expanded beyond Tom Lee Park, and the company now provides meat for the Tunica Rivergate Barbecue Festival and for traveling teams entering contests across the country.

The company was started by Keith’s grandfather and has been in the meat business for 50 years. Many of its processed hogs and cattle are locally raised by Fayette County farmers. Orders are handled by 12 employees. Custom processing — from slaughters to vacuum packing — accounts for a small amount of business. From the holding pen to the table, pigs take about a week and cows require three weeks for processing. But most of Fayette’s work is wholesale. The company makes sausage for Exline’s pizza, shoulders for the Rendezvous, and their own brand of sausage and barbecue rub under the Keith Farms label.

“We did 18 pig kills today. If you’d come a little earlier, you would have seen the care we take with our meats,” said Keith. “That’s what matters: quality.”

Fineberg Packing in North Memphis also supplies Memphis in May barbecue teams, including up to 10 teams this year. Although the company ceased live kills four years ago, it can still provide whole hogs through a third party.

These days, the company processes its own bologna, links, hot dogs, and bacon and functions as a supplier of finished meat products.

Fineberg’s plant manager won’t let his name be used in this story, but he’s been at the business 45 years and everyone in the industry knows him . “The company is not about me. It’s about that man up there,” he says, pointing to a wall portrait of founder Ben Fineberg, who began the business in 1938.

Whoever gets the credit is not nearly as important as the 25 items that Fineberg sells, such as its Starling brand bologna found in grocery stores across the Mid-South.

“Darling, Get Starling” reads the label. The plant manager is proud of the bologna. In fact, he keeps a cutting board and knife in a desk drawer.

“Taste that,” he says, slicing a thin piece. “We don’t put any extra stuff in our bologna, like chicken livers.”

Fineberg also sells items under the Chelsea label, as well as LaRosa hot tamales. About 50 employees man the plant, which like Fayette Packing, operates year round.

“We have provided jobs for people in this part of town for a long time,” says the manager. “It’s an accomplishment to just say you made it this far.”

Categories
Opinion

Burning Down the House

During the Watergate hearings more than 30 years ago, a senator told a story, probably apocryphal, about a man who was stopped by a cop for going 70 mph in a 65-mph zone while cars sped by at 80 or 90 mph.

“Why’d you stop me?” the driver wailed, motioning at the other cars. “Because you’re the only one we could catch,” said the officer.

Two former Shelby County employees, Calvin Williams and Shep Wilbun, were scheduled to go on trial this week for official misconduct, but the case was suddenly dropped Tuesday during the second day of jury selection. Defense attorneys and prosecutors concluded that a jury was likely to find a violation of county policy but no crime.

Williams says the worst offenders are going scot-free. He plans to name them in a tell-all book coming out in June. Its title: How I Sold My Soul to the Devil: Shelby County Politics and Its Unforgiving Sins.

Waiting for jury selection to begin Monday, Williams said the book is “not a joke” and he wrote it by himself based on personal experience and documented evidence. Chapter titles include “Drugs, Sex, and Deception,” “The Wicked Witches of the Commission,” “Justice Wasn’t Blind,” and “And They Call Themselves Mayors.” The latter, he said, refers to Jim Rout, Willie Herenton, and A C Wharton.

Williams was chief administrator for the Shelby County Commission from 1998 to 2003. He started his government career in the circuit court clerk’s office, ran unsuccessfully for clerk in 1994, and rode the Republican tide into the commission job, where his salary went from $39,504 to $101,800 in seven years. He couldn’t have made it, of course, without a lot of help from commissioners and former commissioners such as Democrats Walter Bailey and Cleo Kirk and Republicans Buck Wellford and Bill Gibbons.

Williams was a black Republican activist. The County Commission has six black members who are Democrats and seven white members who are Republicans. By the political arithmetic of Shelby County, Williams split the difference and maintained the uneasy near-equilibrium. His official duties included doing personal favors for commissioners and helping them fill out expense forms. His unofficial duties apparently involved abetting official misconduct involving sex, drugs, and bribery.

Williams has a temper and got into some well-publicized spats with circuit court clerk Jimmy Moore and assessor Rita Clark. He once said of Moore, “He wouldn’t spit on me if I was on fire, and I wouldn’t ask him to.” In a memo to commissioners at the time he was forced out in 2003, he vowed to “retaliate to the fullest.” It is widely known that he has written a book, and he says he has been threatened.

“I’m the only one who can pull the plug on it,” he said. “Not even death can stop it.”

We’ll see. Whatever he does, Williams has probably made some people wet their pants. A volcano has been bubbling under county government since at least 2000, when the county’s former finance director went to prison for embezzlement. Auditors, state and federal prosecutors, and grand juries have looked at credit-card and expense-account abuse. The key witness against Williams and Wilbun is Darrell Catron, who pleaded guilty in January 2003 to federal charges of embezzlement while he was working for Wilbun in the Shelby County Juvenile Court clerk’s office. The questionable acts took place in 2000 and 2001.

Williams, Wilbun, and James Sellers were charged with being partners in a scheme to buy the silence of a female employee in Wilbun’s office about a sexual assault by Catron. They were being prosecuted by special prosecutor John Overton because Gibbons recused himself. Wilbun professed his innocence Monday in a brief meeting with reporters and blamed his troubles on an unnamed “someone with political motives.”

Wilbun got the Juvenile Court clerk job in 2000, thanks to Shelby County’s byzantine politics. He is a former Memphis City Council member and Shelby County commissioner who twice sought to become city mayor. He was appointed clerk by getting one white Republican vote — from then Commissioner Clair VanderSchaaf — in addition to the six black Democratic commissioners. In exchange, Tom Moss, a white Republican, was appointed to the County Commission.

It sounds like so much inside-baseball, but this is the way county government operates and one of the things that is the matter with it. Sex and drugs have always been off-limits to reporters unless someone makes a public confession or files a lawsuit. Much is rumored, some is known, little is reported. If Williams has more than gossip and if it involves criminal activity, then his book will be a bigger deal than his trial. •