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Sports Sports Feature

Gay and Gasol

Before the Grizzlies moved to Memphis, I lived in St. Paul, Minnesota, where I followed the recently established Minnesota Timberwolves through a transition that is relevant to the current state of the Grizzlies.

I can remember former Wolves coach Flip Saunders saying once that, in basketball, “chemistry” means having a pecking order and having players buy into it.

When Saunders said that, he was reflecting, in part, on an earlier period in Wolves history, when the team underwent a dramatic reordering of its pecking order via the drafting of preps-to-pros pioneer Kevin Garnett, who quickly challenged incumbent frontman Christian Laettner’s status on the team. Laettner bristled at Garnett’s swift elevation and was traded before the end of Garnett’s first season.

That situation in Minnesota isn’t entirely analogous to what’s happening with the Memphis Grizzlies right now: Second-year forward Rudy Gay isn’t a talent of Garnett’s magnitude, while incumbent team star Pau Gasol is both a better player and better teammate than Laettner was.

But make no mistake: This season represents a shift at the top of the team’s pecking order for the first time since Gasol’s unexpected rookie-of-the-year campaign in 2001-’02. Gasol has been the team’s leading scorer every season of his career, but, through 17 games this season, it’s been Gay leading the way. The 21-year-old Gay is leading Gasol in points per game (18.1 to 16.6), minutes per game (34.2 to 33.8), and field-goal attempts per game (14.3 to 12.7). And, fewer than 100 games into his NBA career, Gay is still on a steep upswing.

Unlike in Minnesota, this seems to be a case of Gay joining Gasol rather than jettisoning him. Unselfish and accommodating, perhaps to a fault, Gasol is unlikely to resist sharing leading-man status with Gay the way former teammates Jason Williams, Bonzi Wells, and James Posey resisted playing a supporting role to Gasol. In fact, Gasol’s personality probably makes him better suited to being “1-A” in the pecking order than clear-cut top dog.

Fans have been clamoring for the Grizzlies to add another player as good as or — preferably — better than Gasol. Now that the team finally seems to have that player, the dissatisfaction with Gasol is unabated. It’s as if fans have gotten so accustomed to only having one all-star-caliber player on the roster that they struggle to conceive of a roster with two (or more!).

Of course, Gasol hasn’t helped with the longest stretch of mediocre play in his career. A couple of recent Commercial Appeal articles have done a good job of describing how new coach Marc Iavaroni’s more free-flowing offense has served to reduce Gasol’s previously central role in the offense: how the team doesn’t revolve around Gasol’s post play anymore and how this impacts the numbers Gasol is putting up.

But this analysis understates how poor Gasol’s recent play has been. The shrinkage in his per-game scoring and rebounding averages aren’t as important as his declining efficiency. Gasol is still getting plenty of touches in the post or on the move; he just isn’t converting them at the same rate he has throughout his career. Gasol no longer appears hurt, but I suspect his ankle and back problems from preseason are having a lingering effect — a confluence of poor conditioning, confidence, and timing seem to be holding Gasol back more than the new offense.

Unless Gasol is traded — and that doesn’t seem likely — it’s imperative that the team’s two best players play well and play well together.

The Grizzlies’ recent two-game homestand was encouraging in this regard: Half of Gasol’s eight assists came on passes to Gay. Meanwhile, Gay was more deferential to Gasol without sacrificing his own production. The ability of Gay and Gasol to maximize and mesh their respective talents could be the story of the season, and their ability — or inability — to do this may be the key to whether the current core of this Grizzlies team is one to build on or eventually tear apart.

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Editorial Opinion

Tanner’s Prescription

One of the most enduring presences on the Tennessee political scene has been 8th District congressman John Tanner of Union City, a Democrat who, since his first election to the office as a state legislator in 1988, has never been seriously tested by an opponent, Republican or Democratic.

One of the reasons is that Tanner, though a leader of the Democrats’ conservative “Blue Dog” faction, faithfully attempts to strike a balance between competing points of view as well as to propitiate the expressed will of his constituents. Better than most faced with such a task, he avoids the “on the one hand/on the other hand” mode of temporizing, though the final result of his thinking doesn’t necessarily please everybody.

Such might be the case with his answer to a question posed to him last Friday night, when Tanner, something of a foreign-policy maven, was the featured speaker at the culminating “Frontline Politics” event sponsored by the Greater Memphis Area Chamber of Commerce at the East Memphis Hilton.

Whom should we side with in the ongoing confrontation in Pakistan between the autocratic government of Pervez Musharraf and ostensible democratic reformer Benazir Bhutto, a former prime minister freshly returned from exile? Not an easy question, and Tanner, after ruminating out loud over the pros and cons of the matter, finally came down, reluctantly but decisively, on the side of the status quo. What’s at stake in the region is stability, the congressman said, and that’s especially needful in the case of Pakistan, not only a de facto ally in the so-called war on terror but a country in possession of a decent-sized nuclear arsenal.

Not everybody will be satisfied with Tanner’s conclusion, especially those who see the issue posed in Pakistan to be the simple one of tyranny versus democracy. And who, after all, can fail to be inspired by the spectacle of all those protesting lawyers in business suits who let themselves be carted off to jail by the current regime’s police?

Even so, there are good reasons to heed Tanner’s caveat, especially since one of Musharraf’s accomplishments in office, through fair means or foul, has been to repress the ever-present minions of al-Qaeda, who are well represented in Pakistan and who are thought to be providing a haven there for Osama bin Laden. How certain can we be that Bhutto, who had tendencies toward authoritarianism (and corruption) herself before being thrown out of office in 1996, would be able to keep the lid on the problem?

Beyond that, our experience in Iraq has surely taught us something about the dangers of overthrowing dictators. Saddam Hussein was no paragon, to say the least. But he was A) secular and B) strong enough to hold the festering parts of that country together against potential (now long since actualized) religious anarchy. Much the same can be said of Musharraf, and it has to be considered, as Tanner indicated, whether the cure for authoritarian regimes (which are surely to be preferred to totalitarian ones) can be worse than the illness.

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Opinion Viewpoint

The Understudy

Earlier in the year, local Republicans, like their counterparts elsewhere in Tennessee, were jumping ship from other presidential campaigns to make known their allegiance to former Senator Fred Thompson. That was back when Law & Order star Thompson, presumably on the strength of his Nielsen ratings, was considered the answer to GOP prayers.

The lanky, rawboned actor/lawyer/lobbyist, a native of Lawrenceburg in Middle Tennessee and a University of Memphis graduate, had ample cachet. A protégé of former Senator Howard Baker, who in 1973 made him minority counsel for the Senate Watergate Committee, Thompson had by 2007 been in the public eye for a full generation.

His acting career in the movies as well as on TV, plus eight years in the Senate, had made him a figure familiar enough to be a formidable trump card. But when he got turned up on the table — or, more to the point, when he began standing side-by-side with his GOP rivals on the debate sage — something seemed to be missing.

Maybe it was age (some thought Thompson looked unexpectedly thin and ravaged), maybe it was conviction (what was his role supposed to be? moderate? arch-conservative? Bushite? critic?), or maybe it was the candidate’s well-known laissez-faire attitude toward exertion. Whatever the case, the Thompson boom went from bang to whimper in record time.

Meanwhile, another Mid-South candidate has been auditioning well on the road. That’s Mike Huckabee, the former governor of Arkansas and, as has been pointed out ad infinitum, a native of Hope, hometown of two-term former Democratic president Bill Clinton, another up-from-nowhere sort.

By now, Huckabee has actually taken the lead among Republicans in Iowa, whose caucuses will be held in early January. His dramatic arrow up parallels Thompson’s going down. And, whereas Thompson had never quite defined his character in the ongoing campaign drama, the folksy but articulate Huckabee has his down pat: He’s an unabashed pro-life social conservative but also an economic populist who raised taxes for social programs as governor and who regularly denounces “Wall Street” in the manner of a latter-day FDR.

As such, Huckabee performs the improbable feat of yoking two points of view that have been politically sundered for well over a generation. In some ways, he’s a throwback to the old Southern Democratic model. He’s a former Baptist preacher who can also play a mean bass guitar on “Free Bird” — a feat he performed alongside current Shelby GOP chairman Bill Giannini’s lead guitar at the local Republican “Master Meal” last year.

Huckabee’s plain-spoken oratory was also a huge hit at that event, and there’s no doubt that the seeds for a mass following have been planted in these parts.

Tracy Dewitt of the Northeast Shelby Republican Club is a dedicated supporter, as is Paul Shanklin, the local businessman and successful impressionist who does all those politicians’ voices for Rush Limbaugh. The Arkansan’s national campaign manager, moreover, is Chip Saltzman, an ex-Memphian and a graduate of Christian Brothers University.

When the East Shelby Republican Club, one of the GOP’s local bedrocks, had an informal straw-vote poll at its regular monthly meeting last week, Thompson still had the residual strength to come out well ahead. Huckabee was down among such relative also-rans as New York’s Rudy Giuliani and Massachusetts’ Mitt Romney.

But that, as club president Bill Wood acknowledges, was then. Now is something else. “That was before Huckabee got a front-page article in USA Today and all this other recognition.” If the same straw vote were held today? “Oh he’d go up like a bullet. There were already a lot of people here who liked him. Now they’re starting to see how he’s doing in the rest of the nation.”

Indeed, it is probable that, if Huckabee should hold his present numbers and win Iowa, you couldn’t build a big enough bandwagon to accommodate his supporters locally.

One caveat: Thompson could still come back. There are many political observers who remember his lackadaisical start in 1994 against Democratic Senate opponent Jim Cooper, whom he trailed at one point by 20 points in the polls — the same number he would eventually win by against Cooper.

But for the time being, the man from Hope has center stage.

Jackson Baker is a Flyer senior editor.

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Cover Feature News

Taking Liberty

As the stadium debate unfolded in Memphis this year, Randy Alexander paid close attention, but he felt more like a pawn than a player.

Alexander was especially interested in the issue of handicap accessibility and the Americans With Disabilities Act (ADA). He is community organizer for the Memphis Center for Independent Living, a United Way agency that works on accessibility issues, and has been a wheelchair user since a spinal-cord injury in 1992.

When Mayor Willie Herenton unveiled his proposal on January 1st, the mayor said the cost of fixing up Liberty Bowl Memorial Stadium, including meeting ADA standards, might be more than $50 million and could result in a loss of 14,000 seats. He offered no documentation, but suggested that demolition of the Liberty Bowl and construction of a new stadium ought to be considered. A feasibility study has since put the costs at as much as $217 million for a new stadium and $21 million to $265 million — a staggering $4,000 per seat — for renovating the old one.

“I feel like they are using us,” Alexander said. “He [the mayor] started talking about how much it was going to cost, so he could build a new stadium.”

Interviews with several Memphis wheelchair users found a lot of interest in the stadium debate, but most had had little if any input. None of the people the Flyer interviewed for this story has been contacted by city administrators, the stadium consultants, or the U.S. Department of Justice officials who will decide what steps must be taken to make the Liberty Bowl compliant with federal law. Wheelchair users disagreed about tactics but agreed on this point: Memphis does not need a new stadium. And not one of them could recall a game when every existing wheelchair space was used by a handicapped person.

While Herenton, members of the media, contractors, consultants, and promoters who would benefit from a new stadium or expensive renovations trash the Liberty Bowl in the name of the Americans With Disabilities Act, there is less publicized but significant support for a fix-up at a modest price. Interviews with wheelchair users and city officials who have recently met with representatives of the Justice Department suggest that the real cost of accessibility improvements at the Liberty Bowl could be less than $5 million.

“They had no place to put us.”

The issue of stadium accessibility has been around almost as long as the Liberty Bowl itself, which was built in 1964. Memphian Terry Phillips, 58, was paralyzed from being shot in the Vietnam War in 1968. He recalls going to games in the early 1970s and sitting at the side of the field, along with as many as 60 other fans in wheelchairs.

“When the band came out, they would push us all out and put us on the field,” said Phillips, who has attended more than 100 games at the Liberty Bowl and was active for several years in the Mid-South Paralyzed Veterans Association (PVA). “They had no place to put us. So when we got the chance and we got the power, we sued them to make sure we could sit up in the stands with the rest of the people and enjoy the game.”

In 1988, U.S. district judge Robert McRae signed a consent agreement between the city and the Paralyzed Veterans Association boosting the number of wheelchair seats from 65 to 133. In 1991, the ADA law was passed, and in 2005, the city reached a settlement agreement with the Justice Department on the accessibility of 60 city buildings, including the stadium.

Wheelchair seating at the stadium is about one-third of the way up the bleachers in a half-circle from the north end zone and along the visitor’s side of the field. Thanks to previous improvements, there is enough space behind the seats so that when one person leaves, everyone else does not have to move. At present, there are no companion seats. Those accompanying someone in a wheelchair are given plastic chairs, so the 133 spaces can accommodate 66 wheelchairs if each brings a companion.

The upper-end cost estimates of making the stadium comply with the ADA come from a strict reading of the rules. Lest anyone doubt the seriousness of the federal government’s enforcement of the ADA, consider the predicament of the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor, where the country’s largest college football stadium (107,000 seats) is under renovation. The university’s battle with the federal Department of Education and the Justice Department over handicapped seating has become as nasty as its on-field rivalry with Ohio State, only more expensive. A recent headline in the Detroit News read, “Stadium: It’s U.S. vs. U.M.”

In October, the Department of Education threatened to cut off federal financial aid to the 39,700-student university if the school doesn’t make 1 percent of the seats (1,070 seats) in “The Big House” accessible, as required by the ADA. The university has countered with an offer to increase wheelchair seating from 88 to 592 by 2010.

There is at least one obvious difference between that U.M. up north and our U.M.: Michigan has sold out every game for more than 30 years. The University of Memphis is lucky to sell out one game a year, and it is not uncommon to see more than half of the stadium seats empty.

“I have never ever seen all the wheelchair seats sold out at any football game in Liberty Bowl Memorial Stadium in more than 30 years,” said Phillips, who thinks the current allotment, plus an equal number of “companion” seats, is “absolutely sufficient.”

Justin Fox Burks

Bill Dorsey, 76, who also has been active in the Mid-South PVA but rarely goes to football games, agrees that the current number of wheelchair seats is probably enough.

“The handicapped go to basketball games much more than football games,” he said. “I think it is the weather, to be honest.”

Dorsey thinks there are more important accessibility issues.

“I have been in Minneapolis where I could get on a bus, go to a mall, shop, and get on another bus back to within a block of my hotel,” he said. “I cannot do that in Memphis, and there are a lot of other things I can’t do here that I can do in other cities.”

The Memphis Center for Independent Living gave the city of Memphis and Shelby County “ADA Report Cards” last year. Both governments got an “F” in employment, education, and citizenship and a “D” in construction and curb cuts. A “D” means “trying to comply with the ADA only after being sued.” The highest grade given was a “C” in transportation for “doing just enough to avoid lawsuits.”

Memphian Bobby Brooks, 34, said the biggest problem for him at the stadium is finding someone on the stadium staff to assist him to his wheelchair seat.

“It’s a good seat, but it’s kind of inconvenient getting there,” he said.

Sam Allen, 21, a junior at Christian Brothers University, attended a soccer game and the Bridges preseason high school football games at the stadium. Like Brooks, Allen said the only drawback was the difficulty that he and a companion had finding a stadium employee knowledgeable about companion seats. The addition of companion seats to meet the current demand, he believes, would fix that problem.

“I plan to start going to more games if they make the proper changes,” he said.

Ray Godman, 79, who has used a wheelchair since being wounded in the Korean War in 1951, has had season football tickets since 1964. The former drag racer and owner of Godman Hi-Performance likes to tell people who come to him complaining and looking for sympathy to “check Webster’s between shit and syphilis.” He has no use for talk of a new stadium.

“Herenton and his group have got their reasons to disregard the stadium and spend a lot of money they don’t have,” he said. “I think it could be modified very easily to be made more accessible. I don’t hear anybody who sits around me complaining about accessibility of the stadium other than the fact that companion chairs are not available. You have got to apply common horse sense whether you are on your feet or in a wheelchair.”

Hope for a “reasonable” solution

Can common sense prevail over litigation and a literal interpretation of the ADA law? There are recent indications that a compromise may indeed be reached and that the Liberty Bowl will stay in service for several more years.

Following a recent visit by representatives of the Justice Department, city officials seem optimistic that renovation costs could be substantially lower than originally estimated. In one scenario, increasing ADA accessibility would cost less than $5 million. That option would increase the number of wheelchair spaces from 133 to 219, plus add 219 “companion” seats that currently don’t exist. Stadium capacity would decrease from 61,641 to 59,527, which is likely to be acceptable to sponsors of the Southern Heritage Classic and the AutoZone Liberty Bowl Football Classic.

Cindy Buchanan, executive director of the Memphis Park Commission, which is responsible for the stadium, said that prospective solution, while less than the number of accessible seats required by the letter of the law, might satisfy the Department of Justice because the Liberty Bowl is rarely full.

“The only games this season where we used all available wheelchair spaces were Ole Miss and the Southern Heritage Classic,” she said.

The people using the spaces had various disabilities that required wheelchairs, canes, and walkers. Buchanan, who attends most home games, estimates that there are usually about 30 fans in wheelchairs. In November, she went to the University of Memphis versus East Carolina game with a Justice Department representative and an architect. They looked at existing wheelchair seating, proposed new seating, restrooms, concessions, and overall access.

Justin Fox Burks

On the issue of accessibility: Randy Alexander (left) and Terry Phillips

“I have found them [the Justice Department] to be reasonable and practical,” she said. “It is probably not possible for such an old building to meet the letter of the law, so what they’re trying to do is look at operations and attendance and figure out how many seats are reasonable.”

At one point, the Department of Justice representative, according to Buchanan, commented that it made little sense to put wheelchair seats at the upper rows of the stadium given the cost. The letter of the law requires not only that 1 percent of the total number of seats be handicap-accessible but that they be dispersed throughout the stadium.

Robert Lipscomb, who has been the city administration’s point man on the redevelopment of the Mid-South Fairgrounds, is optimistic that a compromise can be reached. Resolving the stadium issue — new stadium, refurbished stadium, and how much money — could make it easier to get on with the overall project, which includes the Mid-South Coliseum and the land used by LibertyLand and the Mid-South Fair.

“I am getting a sense that the Justice Department is being open and friendly to the city and saying it is not as bad as originally thought,” Lipscomb said.

The city has $16 million in the capital improvements budget for the next five years for stadium improvements, including accessibility and refurbishing the concessions, press box, and skyboxes. The “halo” around the stadium, as architects call it, will also be cleaned up and made more attractive for tent parties and tailgating.

“The mayor has never said it has to be a new stadium or nothing,” Lipscomb said. “He has always said that alternatives had to be looked at.” He expects to hear from the Justice Department within 50 days.

Randy Alexander, who doesn’t go to the football games, concedes that if 1 percent of the stadium seats were made accessible, many of them would probably go unused. But, he said, “that’s the wrong question.”

“There is approximately 75 percent unemployment among the disabled,” he said. “As we grow in the community, 10 years from now is it possible to fill all those seats? I think so. We are still struggling to become a middle-class community.”

Alexander and Phillips sharply disagree about strategy as well as stadium needs. Phillips believes publicity stunts such as wheelchair users chaining themselves to gates or buses are counterproductive. He is particularly critical of a disability rights group called ADAPT, which has sometimes used radical tactics since it was founded in Colorado in 1983 as American Disabled for Accessible Public Transit.

Justin Fox Burks

Terry Phillips and Randy Alexander disagree about strategy and stadium needs.

“ADAPT and PVA are like night and day,” Phillips said. “They once said PVA stands for pissy venal assholes.”

Alexander and Phillips had not met prior to posing for pictures for this story. On a chilly morning last week, Alexander took a city bus from his office at the Center for Independent Living to the Southern Avenue entrance to the Mid-South Fairgrounds, then rode his motorized wheelchair across a wide expanse of parking lots outside the stadium. Phillips drove up a few minutes later in his customized mini-van equipped with a wheelchair lift. They talked as the Flyer photographer took pictures inside and outside the stadium. It was not until Phillips was about to get back into his van that he noticed Alexander’s blue ski cap had the ADAPT acronym on it.

“Come on,” Phillips growled, shaking his head. “Get in and I’ll haul your ass downtown.”

Alexander rolled up the ramp for the ride back to work.

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We Recommend We Recommend

Great Performances

“And with honey out of the rock should I have satisfied thee,” says Psalm 81, suggesting God as a source of sweetness and strength. That biblical passage was also the source for a popular spiritual called “Honey in the Rock,” which was recorded in Memphis in 1927 by Mamie Forehand. Add the word “sweet” to the title, and you get Sweet Honey in the Rock, the all-female, Grammy Award-winning a capella singing group that has been entertaining and inspiring audiences since 1973. Sweet Honey will be doing just that as guests of the Cultural Development Foundation of Memphis at the Cannon Center on Friday, December 7th.

Sweet Honey’s founder, Bernice Johnson Reagon, retired in 2004, but that still leaves current members Ysaye Barnwell, Nitanju Bolade Casel, Aisha Kahlil, Carol Maillard, Louise Robinson, and Shirley Childress Saxton to combine spirituals and jazz, gospel and blues. Harmony ties it all together. Harmony’s also the key to Sweet Honey’s repertoire, which speaks out against injustice on every front.

And appearing with Sweet Honey in the Rock at the Cannon Center … You may know them as “Three Mo’ Tenors,” or you may know them by name as Cook, Dixon & Young. Their full names are Victor Trent Cook, Rodrick Dixon, and Thomas Young, and they’ve got gospel and jazz going too. But add arias, show tunes, and soul classics, and you’ve got a trio that’s a little hard to categorize. But PBS didn’t think so. Cook, Dixon & Young have been featured on the series that goes by the name, pure and simple, Great Performances.

The women in Sweet Honey in the Rock? They’ve been saluted by a PBS series too. The show, pure and simple: American Masters.

Sweet Honey in the Rock and Cook, Dixon & Young at the Cannon Center for the Performing Arts on Friday, December 7th, 8 p.m. Tickets are $20.50-$51.50, plus service charge. For tickets, go to ticketmaster.com or call the Cannon Center at 576-1269.

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We Recommend We Recommend

The Grind

Oh sure. Everybody knows the notorious Bettie Page, whose exotic beauty has inspired generations of punk-rock girls to pluck their eyebrows and cut their hair into bangs. But who remembers Lorraine Lane, the bawdy puppeteer who danced, quite literally, with the devil, to the amazement of anyone fortunate enough to catch the scantily clad illusionist’s astonishing act? Who can recall Sally Rand and her cleverly placed fans, or the gravity-defying antics of Tempest Storm, or the extraordinarily sweet Candy Barr? Who’s ready to give it up for the great ladies of burlesque’s golden age, the women who, with nothing but a shimmy, a shake, and a whole lot of sequins, once defined sexiness? The hard-skating girls of the Memphis Roller Derby, that’s who.

On Saturday, December 8th, the lovely, if somewhat intimidating, ladies of the Memphis Roller Derby will turn the Hi-Tone Café into an old-school shake shack with (ahem) artistic dancing and burlesque skits performed throughout the evening. The roller girls will be joined in their ironically erotic endeavors by the Memphis Belles, a group of local models who enjoy re-creating the look, and more importantly the mood, of classic pin-up images by artists such as Gil Elvgren and glamour photographer Bunny Yeager.

DJ Steve Anne will get the party started, and punk patriarchs Ross Johnson and Jeff Evans have assembled an all-star lineup of local garage rockers to keep the fringe shaking and the tassels twirling deep into the late night.

Memphis Roller Derby’s second annual “Ho, Ho, Ho Burlesque Show” at The Hi-Tone Café. Saturday, December 8th. Admission $10.

Categories
Opinion The Last Word

The Rant

Here’s the thing about our friend Tim Sampson, who fills this space most weeks: He knows what he’s talking about. He reads all about the politicians, forms detailed opinions, then writes his columns secure in the knowledge that he is well informed. You’d think that’s a good thing, but the problem is so many of the rest of us are completely uninformed and therefore don’t fully understand what he’s talking about. Although I have figured out that he stays pretty pissed off.

Yes, I am one of the deliberately unaware. There may have been a time when the whole politics thing seemed groovy to me and I kept up to date, but those days ended sometime around President Clinton’s Hummer-Gate. All of those old white guys getting squeamish while trying to make political hay made me find other ways to keep entertained. I’ve been very busy deciphering the instructions to my new cappuccino-maker. Hours of my life have been filled laboring to teach my cats tricks. This is important work, people.

Still, I try to read Tim’s column because he’s an old friend. In fact, the dissolute misanthrope was once my boss. (Wrap your head around what that was like.) Now, I open the Flyer and wade my way through his screed, often baffled at who the players are and what their agenda may be. Tim knows his local politics, and there, I’ve got nothing. There are a whole lot of Fords, and they seem to get folks awfully riled up, but I don’t like getting riled up. We’ve had the same mayor for a really long time, and whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing isn’t for me to say.

On the national front, as far as I can determine, the Republicans are apparently going to run Fred Thompson, Rudolph Giuliani, or the Mormon guy who doesn’t want to always be referred to as the Mormon guy. I understand his wishes on this, but the only name I have for him is the Mormon guy. I will give him this: He has majestic hair. If we elected presidents solely on their sartorial splendor, he’d already be measuring for drapes. Or one of his wives would be. (It’s a joke, son.)

Giuliani seems pretty cool to me. What I love is that at one point while he was mayor of New York City, he was living in the mayor’s residence with both his soon-to-be ex-wife and his mistress. That’s not bad for a squirrelly guy with a bad comb-over.

I’ve met Fred Thompson, and he was very actorly. When you meet someone who is actorly, you know it. They’re very well spoken, have a practiced conspiratorial wink, and know how to wear makeup. Unfortunately, I can’t shake the fact that I know lot of actors and they’re, um, not that smart. They can memorize words really, really well, but you don’t want one doing your taxes.

On the Democrat side, they seem destined to run Hillary Clinton, John Edwards, or Barack Obama. There’s also that crazy little elf, Dennis Kucinich, but this country will never elect a President Dennis. Damn it.

John Edwards seems like a genuinely nice guy, but it’s hard to get past the whole fighting for the poor while having a house the size of an airport thing. Obama is a very charismatic guy. The few times I’ve seen him on TV, he’s come across as totally prepared to be president. You know who also seems totally prepared to be president? Patriots quarterback Tom Brady. Yeah, that’s not going to happen either.

Hillary. If you noticed that I saved her for last, it’s mainly because I’m afraid of her. We can quibble about whether her eight years of icily smiling at her husband while she was first lady qualifies as “experience” or whether it even makes sense that she’s a senator from a state she had never lived in before, but the truth is, most every American is scared of the woman. I don’t mean that we fear that she’ll do something crazy as president. I mean we’re afraid that if she got angry at one of us, she would personally kick our ass.

Between now and whenever we’re supposed to vote — which I think is probably sometime next fall — I’ll do some actual research. Or I’ll just keep reading Tim’s column. And do the exact opposite of whatever that lunatic advises. Like I said, I know the guy.

Dennis Phillippi is a Memphis writer, comedian, and radio host.

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News

Timberlake One of Walters’ 10 Most Fascinating People

Justin Timberlake has been named one of Barbara Walters’ 10 Most Fascinating People of 2007. The program airs Thursday night.

Among those joining Timberlake on the list are David and Victoria Beckham, the founders of MySpace, and Hugo Chavez.

From the interview:

Walters: “Do you think you’re sexy?”

Timberlake: “I work with what I’ve got.”

Walters: “What you’ve got ain’t bad.”

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News

Memphis Music Legend Ben Cauley Makes Friends in Wisconsin

From the Madison Isthmus Daily Page: Ben Cauley of The Bar-Kays returned to Madison for the first time in four decades for the Otis Redding memorial.

The Otis Redding tribute on Monday evening was a somber, respectful affair. Marking the 40th anniversary of the great soul singer’s death in the Lake Monona plane crash that also claimed the lives of all but one of the Bar-Kays, the event drew a large crowd to Monona Terrace and featured an appearance by the tragedy’s sole survivor, the trumpeter Ben Cauley, who was in Madison for the first time since that terrible night.

Opening with local guitarist Robert J. and harmonica virtuoso Westside Andy’s respectful cover of the Redding classic “Sittin’ on the Dock of the Bay,” the event was marked by Mayor Dave Cieslewicz’s reading of a memorial proclamation. But the highlight had to be Cauley’s appearance.

The trumpeter has gone on to become one of the cornerstones of the Memphis music scene. Dressed to the nines for his appearance at Monona Terrace, Cauley offered some brief reflections on the crash and its aftermath before he launched into an emotional cover of another Redding hit, “Try a Little Tenderness,” followed by a version of “Sittin’ on the Dock of the Bay” that was downright heart-breaking.

Read it all at TheDailyPage.com.

Categories
Editorial Opinion

Buddy McEwen Remembered

Buddy McEwen finished his final round at 67, which is five under par at his beloved Davy Crockett. There are a lot of us who wish his score could have been much higher.

McEwen died at 67 last week, after a four-year battle with throat cancer. He was a beautiful man, full of humor, spirit, and sass. I first met him in the early 1990s, when I began playing at Davy Crockett. He was the genial pro, more of a host, really. He’d greet you, chat you up about your life, the Tigers, your golf game, and sell you some used balls …

Read the rest of editor Bruce VanWyngarden’s column about Memphis golf legend Buddy McEwen.