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The Death of Vance Lauderdale

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Apparently I have been dead for more than a year, and I didn’t even realize it. I admit I’ve been feeling a bit sluggish lately, and perhaps crankier than usual. But if this is heaven, then it’s really not half as nice as I had expected. If anything, I thought I’d at least get a newer car, and perhaps an upgraded computer. You know, a Mac with “Snow Leopard” already on it.

Unless — UH OH — I ended up in “the other place” way down below. If that’s the case (and I really can’t think why it wouldn’t be), then my bleak surroundings make sense. Though it’s not quite as hot as what they used to tell us in Sunday School.

What AM I blathering about? Well, one of my many, many readers sent me this clipping from his Columbia University alumni magazine, which tells of the unfortunate demise of another Vance Lauderdale — clearly some rascal who stole my identity and even tried to pass himself off as a doctor. Then look what happened to him.

Let this be a lesson to us all. Or something. I’m not sure what to make of it.

At any rate, rest in peace, Vance.

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Memphis Gaydar News

“No Boys Allowed” Book Club

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Memphis Gay and Lesbian Community Center member Audrey May is attempting to organize a Women’s Book Club. It would feature readings and discussion of books written by female authors and possibly even some meet-ups with those authors.

Interested? E-mail women@mglcc.org to get involved.

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News

Council Delays Consolidation Vote

The City Council delayed voting for at least two weeks on a resolution to set a new Charter Commission for the purpose of creating a metro government.

“I’m in favor of consolidation,” said councilman Jim Strickland, “but I’m not convinced that next year is the right time to move forward.”

Mayor Pro Tem Myron Lowery gave a presentation to the council’s executive committee that cited population loss, brain drain, economic development, and duplication in services as reasons why the two governments should merge.

“Dual-headed government is a broken business model,” he said.

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News

Trouble in Paradiso

A crowd of 500 teens at a movie theater rattles management and neighborhood activists in East Memphis. John Branston has the story.

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Opinion

Trouble in Paradiso?

Memphis police are trying to figure out why an unusually big crowd of teenagers gathered at Malco’s Paradiso movie theater in East Memphis Saturday night, prompting a swarm of police cars to respond and rattling patrons and neighbors.

The incident has prompted Malco to change its policy toward underage teens being dropped off by their parents. They will no longer be allowed in the building.

Police spokesman Karen Rudolph said an initial report that three squad cars responded was wrong. In fact, 23 cars responded, including every available car in three substations, plus special units. She said the crowd in the parking lot numbered at least 500 people between 7 p.m. and 10 p.m., when police began closing entrances on Mendenhall, Sanderlin, and Poplar Avenue.

The faux-Italianate Paradiso is a something-for-everyone multiplex that shares the parking lots west of Clark Tower with Houston’s, Ben and Jerry’s, Whole Foods, McAlister’s Deli, and other popular businesses. The center is common ground for different ages, races, high schools, and neighborhoods and is especially popular with teenagers. Patrons are accustomed to lines, traffic snarls, and crowds of kids hanging around outside, but Saturday was different.

Rudolph said one possibility is that two horror movies showing that night were sold out, leaving hundreds of teens with nothing to do and time to kill. But Ann Forbis, who was there for a 7 p.m. movie, is skeptical.

“It takes a lot to rattle my cage but that rattled me big time,” she said. “We could not go out the exit door, the lobby was packed, and there was an ocean of kids outside and cars cruising in the parking lot. They were not in line and were not there to see a movie. If I had been a parent trying to pick up my girls I would have been mortified.”

As she and two friends walked to their car, they saw a group of young men on the ground and thought that someone was hurt or performing CPR. When they got closer they saw “six or eight guys were shooting dice.”

Rumors began spreading Saturday night and Sunday. Cyndi Blair, who lives in East Memphis, said people on her neighborhood watch have been talking about a “fight club” outbreak. A man leaving the theater broke up a fight between two girls that was being videotaped. He reported that three security guards were “trying in vain” to tell people to disperse. A police report that night says 10 teens were charged with misconduct for fighting.

Jane Williams, an East Memphis resident, said there’s a lot of buzz among neighborhood groups.

“We are now being urged to e-mail Mayor Lowery to see if we can get him to make a public statement and take action. What upsets many of us is that incidents like this in the Paradiso and Ben and Jerry’s area have gone unreported for at least six weeks. This is dangerous.”

Malco spokesman James Tashie said the crowd was drawn by a promotional flyer sent out by a local disc jockey touting the R-rated horror movies Halloween and Final Destination. Malco employees are instructed to card young people and deny them a ticket if they are underage, but teens skirt the policy by having someone else buy a ticket for them.

The flyer from “G. Webb & S.O.H.K.” touts “Hanging With The Stars Part 2” at Paradiso “08.29.09.”

“We were aware of it (the promotional flyer) and beefed up our security but had no idea it was going to bring in such a large number of underage kids,” Tashie said. “Parents are dropping kids off and they are not old enough to go to the movie, so they are out there for two or three hours with nowhere to go.”

Malco executives have been meeting about the incident for two days. They say they believe the Paradiso is drawing some of the rougher segments of the crowd that went to the Muvico theater downtown in Peabody Place before it closed. “We are going to hit [the situation] with all the firepower we have, because our investment there is so great,” Tashie said. “We don’t have car break-ins or muggings. The perception is worse than the reality.”

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News

Bianca Knows Best …

… and helps a liberal handle a conservative workplace.

Categories
Opinion

Bianca Knows Best … And Helps a Liberal Handle a Conservative Workplace

Dear Bianca,

I was recently awarded a promotion at my company, which meant moving to a new office with a whole new set of co-workers. In my old position, my colleagues were mostly liberal Democrats with similar interests. We wore casual clothes, and the atmosphere was really laidback. I enjoyed going to work.

Now, I’m surrounded by suits, and from what I’ve gathered through eavesdropping, my new co-workers are much more conservative. I heard one guy complaining about Obama’s health care reform plan. Most of them are married with children. I’m not. And the few conversations I’ve had with my colleagues have been stiff and uncomfortable.

Unfortunately, I have to spend eight hours a day, five days a week with these people. How can I break the ice without coming across as the crazy liberal?

— The Crazy Liberal

Dear Crazy,

Though I can’t speak from experience in this situation (the Flyer office is packed with crazy liberals), I can tell you what I’d do if I were in your position. However, if my advice fails, don’t say you weren’t warned.

The best way to really get to know new people is spend a little time together at a bar. After the second or third (or fourth) cocktail, you’ll get a pretty good picture of their personality, likes, dislikes, etc. Hell, they may even divulge a few stories that you’d rather you hadn’t heard.

Invite your colleagues to a happy hour. There may be some teetotalers in the office, but you’ll probably get a few folks to come. The idea is to find one or two office allies/friends, so your job will seem a more pleasant.

Be careful about bringing up politics. As the adage goes, “Alcohol and politics don’t mix.” Try to find other common ground with your co-workers. (If you really want to talk politics, save that for when all of you are sober.)

If, after drinking with them, you still can’t relate to any of your new office-mates, just be thankful you got a promotion in this economy. Your co-workers might suck, but at least you’ve got co-workers to complain about.

Got a problem? E-mail Bianca at bphillips@memphisflyer.com.