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Change in the Air

Tommy West is among the most genuinely decent men I’ve written about as a journalist, and that includes the many sources and subjects I’ve met outside the sports arena. Which makes the countdown to his almost-inevitable ouster as University of Memphis football coach especially difficult. Last week’s embarrassing loss to East Carolina on a damp Tuesday night, in front of an all-but-empty Liberty Bowl (and on national television to make things worse), will likely be the game West’s critics recall as the shouts for a replacement grow in volume. The outcome surely indicates a growing chasm between the Tiger program and Conference USA contenders. And if the U of M cannot contend for a championship in a second-tier conference, ticket sales will continue to sag and the likelihood of joining a major conference will drop. The first person accountable for the team’s sagging performance, of course, is the head coach.

If West is indeed dismissed, though, athletic director R.C. Johnson and university president Shirley Raines had better have a candidate who personifies improvement in mind. This would seem to make common sense: don’t let go of a known quantity — however he may be struggling — without a better option behind the curtain. The last time Johnson dismissed a football coach (Rip Scherer, after the 2000 season), he had West — with credentials from his days running the Clemson program — behind that curtain as Scherer’s defensive coordinator. Due respect to current coordinators Clay Helton (offense) and Kenny Ingram (defense), neither is remotely buzz-worthy. And neither would sell an extra ticket if named head coach.

The Tiger football program has so many leaks, on such a large scale, that a head-coaching change would be merely a sponge on a listing ship. A new coach cannot shrink the Liberty Bowl. (4,117 fans may look small in a stadium that seats 30,000, but in the 60,000-seat Liberty Bowl?) Boosters line up to give money to the the school’s basketball program (which is reflected in salaries like the one John Calipari enjoyed for nine years). The football program is in the hands of a smaller group of diehards, with pockets not as deep. And while a basketball team can be made with four or five top recruits, a football team’s two-deep roster requires 44 capable players recruited in the heart of SEC country. Sound like a job you’d get in line for?

You won’t find in this space suggestions for a successor to Tommy West. Unless you know the names on Johnson’s speed dial, coaching candidates are speculative at best, random rumor at worst. And either way, entirely unfair to the man still challenged with winning four football games this year.

Empty seats scream in a football stadium. As Johnson and Raines respond to those screams, we’ll see how mindful they are of a one-man fix being nothing short of fantasy.

• The closing of Memphis Motorsports Park by Dover Motorsports is a disturbing development, and not just for Mid-South race fans. There’s a Darwinian quality to sports entertainment in the new economy, just like any other industry. But sports facilities are especially susceptible, as they rely almost entirely on the two words – long companions — that have come to be somewhat of an oxymoron: discretionary income.

As recently as 2006, MMP was thriving, with total attendance in excess of 600,000. But despite hosting an annual event on NASCAR’s second-tier circuit (currently the Nationwide Series), the park’s business model collapsed under dwindling profits. And consider the facility was run with fewer than 30 employees. Current Sprint Cup drivers Kevin Harvick, Clint Bowyer, and Carl Edwards all won in Memphis, but star quality simply doesn’t sell like it once did. Certainly not enough to fund a yearlong operation like MMP.

The next local litmus test will be AutoZone Park, where the front-office has been turned inside-out and overhead reduced dramatically in the hopes of closing the gap between dwindling revenue and operating expenses. As much as summer baseball — like race weekends — feels like a given in our community, the enterprise is a matter of business. Here’s hoping the new management team at Third and Union has a tighter grip on profitability than Dover Motorsports did at MMP.

• I find the St. Louis Cardinals’ hiring of Mark McGwire as hitting coach to be especially dubious. Consider: the Cardinals are entrusting the tutelage of their hitters — including the best steroid-free (to this point) hitter in the game, Albert Pujols — to a former player who is on the Mt. Rushmore of the game’s “Steroid Era.” McGwire has been a virtual hermit since his retirement after the 2001 season, his biggest splash being the embarrassing testimony he delivered before Congress on St. Patrick’s Day in 2005. Now, all of a sudden, he’s prepared to face cameras and writers, day-in and day-out, for seven months, with questions about steroid use filling every thought bubble in every ballpark where the Cardinals play?

McGwire has built a reputation as a hitting guru from his home in California, and you’d like to think this will be a reunion with a happy ending. But with Pujols climbing the home run chart — and closing in on free agency — you have to wonder if proximity to a former player held guilty in the court of public opinion for cheating the game is healthy for either party.

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Vandalism of Nude Art at Brooks Art Gallery!

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In the November issue of Memphis magazine, we tell the dramatic story of the strange events that took place at the Memphis Academy of Arts from 1969 to 1971, when certain people here objected rather strongly to the school’s use of nudes, and an exhibition of nude photography. The result was death threats, car bombs, even a kidnapping. It’s on newsstands now. Buy a copy. I mean it.

But the art academy (now known as Memphis College of Art) wasn’t the only victim of this outrageous behavior. You know the graceful statue of the three female swimmers that stands as the centerpiece of the garden by the west entrance to Memphis Brooks Museum of Art? (The actual location is called the North Holly Court.) Lovely, isn’t it?

Well, sometime during the evening of August 9, 1976, somebody must have thought otherwise, because they hacked the thing to pieces.

Here’s the photo of the ruined sculpture that ran in the Memphis Press-Scimitar. Quite a mess. The newspaper reported, “The statue has a history of controversy. When it was first put in place, critics objected so strongly to the nude figures that the sculptor, Frances Mallory Morgan, was required to put a suggestion of bathing suits on the figures.”

Apparently that was not enough. Luckily, the artist was able to repair the damage, and it’s hard to tell the piece ever looked like this.

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for colored girls

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Knowledge Bowl: Houston Mustangs vs. Kingsbury Falcons

Knowledge Bowl, Match 1: Houston Mustangs vs. Kingsbury Falcons. Aired October 31st, 2009.

Houston:
Sebastian (Captain), Senior
Daniel, Senior
Faith, Junior
Clayton, Senior
Alternate: Scott

Kingsbury:
Urica (Captain), Senior
Orlando, Junior
Audrey, Junior
Chawan, Junior
Alternate: Mary

Results:
Round One: Houston 170, Kingsbury 0
Round Two: Houston 160, Kingsbury 0
Round Three (Lightning Round): Houston: 80, Kingsbury 20
Final: Houston 410, Kingsbury 20

Kingsbury High School

  • Kingsbury High School

With the correct answer “The Battle of Britain,” given by Houston’s Sebastian, the 2Xrd season of Knowledge Bowl began. I say the 2Xrd, because there’s some mild confusion I’ll have to clear up tomorrow: A Channel 3 employee told me this was the 23rd season, in response to my inquiry last week. And yet, KB host Jim Jaggers opened his mini-monologue with the information that he had been told this was the 24th season. Controversy! I’ll have a definitive answer for you next week.

If you didn’t watch it, you might look at that score and think Houston dominated the game. You wouldn’t be wrong. But it’s worth noting that the Falcons seemed to have gotten shy after the first round. It’s one of the most underrated things about KB and, I presume, all TV game shows: the paralyzing fear and stage fright. I recall, before each of the three games I started back in 1993-94, waiting in the Channel 3 lobby for our turn on the stage, my overwhelming anxiety and how I had to excuse myself to the restroom. Too much information? Absolutely. I’ve never told anyone that before. But it’s wise to keep in mind that that’s the kind of stuff being experienced by the kids before and as the cameras roll. Respect.

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Estate Sales Can Be Creepy

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I go to estate sales from time to time because I like to root though the old books and clothes and papers and photographs. And also because I like to roam through the homes of other people, peeking in their closets and attics and basements. Legally, I mean.

But sometimes you just come across things that are a bit unnerving. Like THIS display in the living room of a sale last weekend. Man, that gave me the shivers. I snapped the picture and scampered out of the room in a hurry, because if that unusually lifelike doll — if it WAS a doll — moved even a fraction of inch, I knew my heart would stop, and that would be the end of “Ask Vance.”

In fact, as I turned to leave, I’d swear the little creature whispered, “Mister, can you please find my Mama”? but I don’t want to think about it anymore.

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r. kelly