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Intermission Impossible Theater

Crazy: Playhouse revives A Closer Walk with Patsy Cline

Renee & the Boys

  • Renee & the Boys

If you like classic country music but are on the fence about dropping in on Playhouse on the Square’s A Closer Walk with Patsy Cline, do yourself a favor and go. Renee Kemper sounds just like Patsy, the band’s hot, and the comedy is groaner-ific. It’s good entertainment even if it’s not very good theater.

I’ve never quite been able to decide if A Closer Walk— a certifiably hokey tribute to the beloved singer—is too ambitious or not ambitious enough. It tries to be many things at once: a biography, a remembrance, a musical revue, and a stand up comedy act. It also tries to recreate the feel of concerts in venues ranging from gut-bucket bars to the Grand Old Opry, Las Vegas, and Carnegie Hall. But really, it only ever succeeds in reminding viewers of the one thing everybody already knows: Cline, whose life was cut tragically short when her plane crashed in the hills near Camden, Tennessee, was a powerful singer who left behind a gorgeous, vastly influential body of work.

A Closer Walk documents Cline’s rise to stardom, dropping bits of trivia along the way, but it never seriously considers her importance in the evolution of Country Music, a field of endeavor which, in spite of the occasional solo hit by yodeling cowgirls like Patsy Montana, was a real boy’s club until the mid 1950’s when artists like Cline, Kittly Wells, Jean Shepard, and Skeeter Davis all became consistent hit-makers. Husky-voiced an independent, Cline was an inspiration to aspiring artists like Loretta Lynn, and her unique ability to appeal to audiences that weren’t usually partial to country music increased the honky tonk fan base in ways unseen since Tony Bennett covered Hank Williams’ “Cold, Cold Heart” in 1951.


Renee Kemper sings “Your Cheating Heart”

Cline had a larger-than-life personality, and more than enough drama in her private world to build a solid play around. But A Closer Walk is a study in two dimensions, a narrated biography with almost no interaction between the characters onstage. With an emphasis on struggling, singing and praising the Lord it’s the very definition of claptrap, but there’s good news too. It never pretends to be much more than what it is: an excuse to put some great songs on stage.

John Hemphill takes on a several roles. He’s never as engaging as he might be as the show’s narrator, a country deejay called Little Big Man. But he excels as a wisecracking Las Vegas lounge lizard and springs to joyous life as a motley hayseed comic modeled after Cousin Jody and Minnie Pearl’s sometimes sparring partner Rod Brasfield.

Kemper’s not an especially strong actor but she gets the job done and her voice is a revelation, especially on more dramatic pieces by top-shelf songwriters like Willie Nelson, Harlan Howard, and Don Gibson. Her powerhouse run through the posthumously released “Sweet Dreams” doesn’t just pay tribute to the original, it rivals it and is easily the most beautiful sound I’ve heard on a Memphis stage all year. But sonically speaking this show’s most exciting moments aren’t Patsy’s. That honor goes to the harmonious quartet of Kyle Blair, Ben Laxton, Nick Mason, and John Koski, worthy stand-ins for the spectacular Jordanaires.

After Patsy’s death has been tearfully announced Hemphill’s Little Big Man says a prayer and tells God one of his best angels is on the way. Moments later the back wall opens up, light blasts out at the audience, and Kemper is flown in with the aid of a wire and a long black plank: a literal Patsy ex machina. The effect is stunning even if the image is literal to the point of silliness. She might as well be wearing wings and carrying a harp.

The marketing materials for A Closer Walk describe it as the “perfect small-cast musical” with minimal technical requirements. It arrives as described and other than the angel effect, lighting and scenic design is minimal. The Vegas sign cutouts and a big blue moon all look cheap, but this is a show about listening, not looking and the weak script and spare design is balanced out by a healthy selection of Patsy Cline’s greatest hits including “She’s Got You,” “Walking After Midnight,” “Faded Love,” and of course, the title track, “Just a Closer Walk with Thee.”

At least one technical issue merits a mention. The sound mix is a mess. Or it was for last Sunday’s matinee anyway. Dialogue over music was unintelligible. It’s not very interesting dialogue at least and besides, if you’re going to A Closer Walk with Patsy Cline, talking is probably the last thing on your mind. Or it should be, hoss. It sure as shootin’ should be.

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News

Delta (Airline) Blues

The Flyer‘s editorial take on price-gouging fares at Memphis International Airport.

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Sports Tiger Blue

TTT Answer

What is the highest win total for the Tiger basketball program over the first three years of a decade? (Let’s define the first year of the Eighties as 1979-80. First year of the Nineties as 1989-90. And so on.)

Josh Pastner

2010s: 75 wins
2000s: 63
1990s: 58
1950s: 54
1960s: 53
1980s: 50
1970s: 45

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We Recommend We Recommend

Eleven, Eleven, Eleven

In ancient times, hundreds of years before the dawn of history, there was an ancient race of people called the Druids. No one knows who they were or what they were doing. But their legacy remains hewn into the living rock of Stonehenge, where the demons dwell. It lingers on and on and on like the sustained vibrato of a Les Paul guitar, thanks almost entirely to three visionary musicians: Nigel Tufnel, David St. Hubbins, and Derek Smalls of the groundbreaking heavy metal band Spinal Tap.

Well, only Tufnel and St. Hubbins are visionaries, really. But Smalls has had his moments in the sky, having taken acid 76 times. He’s the lukewarm water bridging the gap between Nigel’s fire and David’s ice. Together these three brothers in rock have played music together for half a century, first as the Originals, then as the New Originals, and finally as Spinal Tap. They know better than anybody working in the industry today that in this topsy-turvy world of heavy metal, having a good solid piece of wood in your hand is often useful.

Spinal Tap’s sophisticated music treads water in a sea of retarded sexuality and bad poetry. The band has been known to make grown men cry (Tom Waits, for instance) with songs like “Lick My Love Pump,” the first part of a musical trilogy in D-minor, the saddest of all keys.

Rob Reiner’s fake documentary This Is Spinal Tap didn’t make much of a splash when it was released in 1984, with Michael McKean, Christopher Guest, and Harry Shearer starring as St. Hubbins, Tufnel, and Smalls. It found its audience on video and has become a kind of anti-scripture for musicians and one of the most quoted films of all time. Fans can check it out on the big screen at the Orpheum this week, providing that it, like the band’s original Memphis appearance, isn’t canceled due to a lack of advertising funds. (Tip: It won’t be.)

“This is Spinal Tap” at the Orpheum Theatre, Friday, May 25th, at 7:15 p.m. Tickets are $7. www.orpheum-memphis.com/

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News

Losing Proposition

“I don’t understand why I’m gaining weight! I’m exercising, eating healthy, cutting my portions. If I’m doing everything right, then why don’t my pants fit anymore? What the heck is going on?” Sound familiar? Maybe you’ve said this or heard it from any number of unhappy people around you. Mighty frustrating to be trying your best and still find unwanted pounds creeping up on you. So much for positive reinforcement.

Turns out there are things you might not consider that are contributing to that extra weight. Medication. There are lots of meds out there that can pack on the pounds. Certain classes of antidepressants can stimulate your appetite. Antihistamines can interfere with your sleep patterns (see the next item for more on that). Other medications that can mess with your weight include diabetes drugs, migraine and blood pressure medications, steroids, and some cancer therapies. It might be a good time to take stock of what you’re putting in your mouth (aside from food) and review your medications. Many people take more than they need. A medication might no longer be necessary or might have become ineffective; or it can duplicate, or overlap, with the effect of another drug you’re taking for a different condition. Sleep. There are a few things at work when you don’t get enough of it. First, maybe it’s because you’re up later; more hours might translate into more snacking time. (Okay, I know — that’s obvious.) But the less obvious reason lack of sleep is bad for your waistline is this: Biochemically, your body is doing all sorts of things when you’re not sleeping enough. The production of two hormones, ghrelin and leptin, are busy getting all out of whack. Skimping on sleep drives leptin levels down. The result? Failure to wave the white flag when you’re full. And ghrelin rises as sleep quantity and quality fall, stimulating your appetite and setting you up for overeating. Eating after exercising. You’d think that an hour at the gym would give you permission to indulge in dessert. All that sweating had to burn a zillion calories, right? Um, no. It’s okay to eat after exercising, but so often we overestimate the amount of calories we burn. In fact, a study showed that overweight women who exercised one to two hours a week without dieting lost several pounds in six months. But women who exercised the most — about three hours a week — didn’t lose as much as they should have. Chances are they rewarded all their hard work with too many calories, consuming more than they actually burned. And if you’re showering your treadmill with kisses for telling you you’ve burned tons of calories, don’t be so lovey-dovey: Machines lie (or a better way to put it is to say they are inaccurate). Studies have found that both people and machines inaccurately perceive their calorie burn. Stress. Sure, life can get out of control and stress levels peak. We’re only human, after all. But what also peaks is secretion of the “stress hormone” cortisol, which causes an increase in your appetite. And when we’re stressed, we probably aren’t stuffing carrot sticks into our mouths but rather things like chocolate, ice cream, and chips. That’s because the fatty acids activate areas of the brain that boost our moods, according to research. Hypothyroidism. You might not realize the reason you’re feeling tired or sluggish, constipated, or have difficulties with concentration or dealing with cold temperatures might be a sluggish thyroid, which can also account for a slower metabolism and subsequent weight gain. Thyroid disease, which goes largely undiagnosed, affects far more women than it does men. Have you had yours checked lately? Usually it’s done with a simple TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) blood test.

Sheryl Kraft is a freelance journalist and essayist based in Connecticut.

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Cover Feature News

Bring Me the Head of Philip K. Dick

In December 2005, renowned roboticist David Hanson caught an early-morning flight from Dallas to Las Vegas. He was carrying a head in a duffel bag. Hanson was coming off a few whirlwind months, during which he had displayed his “android” creation to thousands of admirers in the scientific — and science-fiction — communities. Now, he was off to demonstrate its capabilities at the booming Google campus in California. Hanson was exhausted, and after storing his cargo in the overhead bin, he promptly dozed off.

The head belonged to Hanson’s most ambitious project, an android re-creation of science-fiction author Philip K. Dick. It represented thousands of hours of work by a well-regarded but little-known academic institution housed at the University of Memphis. In just a few short months, it became a massive spectacle, capturing the imagination of science-fiction fans across the globe. Seven years later, one of the members of the team at the U of M, David Dufty, is set to release a book about the project, called How To Build an Android. But just as quickly as it surfaced, the project that brought Hanson and the U of M together disappeared. Call it the Case of the Missing Head.

The Brain Builders

Along with his interest in robotics, Hanson studied sculpture. He understood the way muscles in the face worked, and his robot faces were incredibly realistic. Though he was a rising star with his creations, he had little experience with artificial intelligence, and a robot without a brain is just a high-tech puppet.

Enter Art Graesser. Since joining the University of Memphis faculty in the late 1970s, Graesser’s work has been the study of intelligence and the mind. Graesser and his colleagues, Stan Franklin in computer science and Don Franceschetti in the physics department, founded the Institute for Intelligent Systems at the U of M in 1985. Since then, the institute has been a leader in the study of intelligence, in particular, the study of artificial intelligence as it relates to education. One of the institute’s most successful projects was an educational computer program called Auto-Tutor.

Auto-Tutor was a groundbreaking experiment in how artificial intelligence (AI) could be tailored to education. The program attempted to create a working personal tutor. Though the idea of a computer program designed to improve education seems almost quaint now, Auto-Tutor was among the first and most refined of its kind.

At the Cognitive Systems Workshop in 2003, Graesser saw Hanson present his latest creation, a robot head called “K-Bot.” For K-Bot, Hanson had created a new android skin called “Flubber.” The skin, combined with Hanson’s experience as a sculptor, created a remarkably lifelike android face. Impressed, Graesser approached Hanson about collaborating.

In the summer of 2004, Hanson brought an updated version of K-Bot, called “Eva,” to Memphis to visit the institute in its new offices at the FedEx Institute of Technology. During his demonstration, Hanson met Andrew Olney, a talented young programmer working on his Ph.D. in computer science at the U of M. Olney had left Memphis after high school to study cognitive science at University College in London and adaptive systems at the University of Sussex before returning to settle in the Mid-South.

Also among those gathered to see the lifelike robot was David Dufty. Dufty was doing post-doctoral work under Graesser at the University of Memphis at the time and is currently working in the national statistics office in his native Australia.

“It was Hanson who had the original idea of creating an android likeness of Philip K. Dick,” Dufty said. “The very idea of using his likeness in a complex android is brilliant. It was undeniable that this would capture the imagination.”

More Human than Human

Philip K. Dick was one of the most influential science-fiction writers in history. He wrote prolifically until his death in 1982 — completing 41 novels and 121 short stories. To date, eleven of his works have been adapted for film, including Total Recall and Minority Report. Dick was the first science-fiction author added to the collection of the Library of America.

In Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?, later adapted into the film Blade Runner, Dick created a world in which androids were indistinguishable from humans. The androids themselves could be programmed to believe they were human. The University of Memphis group knew that creating an android of Dick would titillate science-fiction fans and push the bounds of what the young and talented crew could accomplish.

The team in Memphis agreed. The institute would build the brain, and Hanson would provide the body. Graesser put Eric Mathews, on his way to becoming the associate director of the FedEx Institute, in charge of the joint project.

Mathews began to look for a way to pay for the project, and after a few unsuccessful attempts at funding, convinced the FedEx Institute to invest $30,000 to build the android, a modest amount for a project of this complexity.

To make the android even more realistic, the team wrote some of Dick’s dialogue into a customized program, using the transcripts from hundreds of interviews and his many works of literature. The creation was not a puppet, however; the android had to be able to respond to questions on its own.

Though Olney is proud to talk about his involvement with the project, he’s still a bit surprised that it garnered so much attention. “A lot of the conversational stuff with the robot wasn’t that interesting,” Olney said. “What made it interesting was that it was Philip K. Dick. It had this resonance.”

Olney describes the program as basic, but Mathews suggests Olney is being modest.

“People don’t understand how complex the problems are,” Mathews said. “This robot listens to you; it then has to convert that speech to text. It then it has to parse the dialogue, pump it through a series of dialogue rules, and respond naturally.”

The android had two modes. A “chat bot” mode, which was essentially an interactive, scripted mode. The android was regularly asked, “What are you?” and the robot would respond, “I am Phil, a male Philip K. Dick android electronic brain, a robotic portrait of Philip K. Dick, a computer machine.”

The other mode was as much art as science. Using the massive transcript records, Olney’s program would look for keywords and context clues to formulate answers to the scientists’ questions. The android would then answer without prompting, which would occasionally spin the android into semicoherent ramblings that seemed nearly human.

“There was a dimension to it that was really authentic,” Olney said. “We have a video of this one conversation where we’re talking to the robot about religion. There’s a hilarious conversation, because they won’t let up, and they won’t change topics. Some of the stuff it came back with was surprisingly plausible.”

Dick’s own children witnessed this firsthand. Because of copyright concerns, Hanson asked the Dick family for its blessing, even promising the author’s daughters that they would have the right to kill the project if they didn’t like what the team created. Just a few days before the robot was set to be unveiled, Isa Dick visited the FedEx Institute.

“She had a moment with this robot that could’ve been a deal breaker,” Mathews said. “We didn’t know what it was going to say or how she’d react to talking to her robot father.”

Years later, Isa Dick told a reporter from the Los Angeles Times, “It looked very much like my dad. When my name was mentioned, it launched into a long rant about my mother and this one time that she took me and left him. It was not pleasant.”

Still, Isa Dick approved the project.

Later, the president of the University of Memphis, Shirley Raines, dropped by the FedEx Institute for a chat with the artificial author.

President Raines: “I give you credit for your work. I’ve noticed that …”

The android interjected: “Are you a man or a woman?”
Raines pressed on: “I am definitely a woman.”

“Me too! I am a she.”

“I am the president of the University of Memphis.”

“I knew he was president, but I never knew of the University of Memphis.”

“I like your blue eyes.”

“I haven’t heard anything like that before.”

“It’s a compliment.”

“Do you have any conditions I should know about?”

Olney stepped in and stopped the interview before the android went off on another tangent.

This Artificial World

The robot body was to be melded with the brain less than a week before the unveiling at Wired magazine’s 2005 NextFest. Wired promoted the event as an attempt to re-create the excitement of a historic World’s Fair, and the android was featured on the cover of the event’s program.

The conference environment presented its own set of problems. The robot’s ears — advanced microphones in the head — had to be finely tuned so it could tell when its questioner was finished speaking. Despite a headset to cut down on ambient noise, the team worried that the loud conference floor at NextFest would confuse the robot.

Mathews enlisted the university’s theater department to construct a soundproof room designed to look like Dick’s 1970s California bungalow. The Dick family donated some of the author’s personal effects to add to the experience.

“It even had shag carpet,” Mathews said, “and Dick’s Linda Ronstadt records.” The room’s authenticity added both another level of artistry and a massive headache to the project.

“This thing had to be shipped to Chicago from Memphis,” Mathews said. “There were so many points of possible failure for the project. I think we only really had about two months to make it all happen.”

Noise, heat, and thousands of visitors made the convention stressful, but for the U of M team and the Philip K. Dick android, it was a massive success.

“People waited hours to talk to it. The line would extend across the whole conference floor. We had to pack them in,” Mathews said. “Every 45 minutes we’d have to stop the line and open all the windows for about 15 minutes to let Philip K. Dick cool down.”

Journalists worldwide wrote about the android, turning David Hanson into a rock star in the world of robotics. Oddly, the University of Memphis team got very little press for its contribution.

Though the re-created room wouldn’t be shown again, there were already plans for the android to make a few more showings, including an appearance at an academic conference and then on to Hollywood.

Filmmaker Richard Linklater, perhaps best known for his film Dazed and Confused, was at Comic-Con promoting A Scanner Darkly, the latest Philip K. Dick movie adaptation, and Hanson (without Olney) agreed to have the android on the panel along with some of the filmmakers. Without his soundproof room or Olney to tweak the software, the android made an underwhelming appearance at Comic-Con. Despite the rambling performance, the producers of A Scanner Darkly hoped to have the android answer questions at press junkets promoting the film.

One last showing was scheduled: a command performance for the employees of Google. Olney and Craig Grossman, the new director of the FedEx Institute, made the trip along with Hanson to avoid a repeat of the android’s rambling Comic-Con appearance.

The Missing Head

Hanson fell asleep en route to the Google campus and, bleary-eyed, rushed off the plane in Las Vegas to make his connecting flight to California. It wasn’t until he boarded his next flight that he realized he’d left the head behind. The head was found and put on a flight to meet Hanson, but it never arrived.

A few weeks later, word of the missing head made it to the media, and once again, Dick’s android captured attention. The New York Times called it “A Strange Loss of Face, More Than Embarrassing,” and it even garnered attention from Middle Eastern news service Al-Jazeera. The android’s appearances promoting A Scanner Darkly were canceled, and hundreds of hours of work were lost. In less than a year, the android of Philip K. Dick had caught the imagination of the science and technology world and then had been lost forever.

For a few weeks, Hanson held out hope that the head would turn up. When it didn’t, he sued the airline, and, though he lost, the judge’s science-fiction-laden decision was almost worth the trouble.

“The Court must GRANT Defendant’s motion, but does so hoping that the android head of Mr. Dick is someday found, perhaps in an Elysian field of Orange County, Dick’s homeland, choosing to dream of electric sheep.”

David Dufty, in his quest to complete his forthcoming book, visited a central depot for lost baggage in Alabama without success. As time went by, it became clear that the head would remain lost.

While it would have been possible to rebuild the android, the cost and time commitment were beyond anyone’s interest. Hanson was ready to move on. Olney came back to Memphis to defend his dissertation.

Hanson’s next project was a collaboration with Korean roboticist Jun-ho Oh. The joint venture was another iconic melding of robotics and art: the head of Albert Einstein perched atop a small white astronaut-like robot named Albert Hubo. It famously shook hands with President Bush in 2005 at the APEC summit in Korea.

After graduating from the U of M, Mathews became the CEO of Launch Your City, Inc. and the interim director of Emerge Memphis, spending his day building high-growth-potential start-ups.

In the seven years since the android was built and lost, Olney has remained in Memphis, becoming assistant director of the Institute for Intelligent Systems. His fascination with robotics hasn’t diminished. Along with the android’s software, his personal website shows many other robot projects, including a hacked Billy Bass, a Tickle Me Elmo designed to do basic tutoring, and a project Olney calls “R2.”

He began R2 in 2008 in his spare time as an ongoing project. The title “R2” has a double meaning. The first is homage to the beloved Star Wars character R2-D2. The second?

“I’m actually building a robot of my wife, Rachel,” Olney admitted with a chuckle. “How could she be mad at me for spending all this time working on a robot of her?”

The Institute for Intelligent Systems at the University of Memphis has grown steadily, earning millions of dollars in research funding and completing dozens of projects around the U of M campus. The descendants of Auto-Tutor continue to be adapted for various educational situations, though no project has garnered the attention that the Philip K. Dick android received.

We Can Remember It For You, Wholesale

In Philip K. Dick’s fictional world, reality was always subjective. He published his novel Flow My Tears, the Policeman Said to high acclaim in 1974. The novel is set in a dystopian future in a totalitarian state. A massive identity database called Pol-Dat, where individual identities can be stored and copied, controls the population’s every move. In a crucial moment, the protagonist, Jason Taverner, is on the run from the police and uses the giant database as an opportunity to claim a new identity and escape. Dick wrote:

“He thought, Thank God for the weaknesses built into a vast, complicated, convoluted, planetwide apparatus. Too many people; too many machines. This error began with a pol inspec and worked its way to Pol-Dat, their pool of data at Memphis, Tennessee.”

Sometimes fiction is stranger than truth.

Categories
News The Fly-By

Crime Fighters

Pockets of Frayser have been plagued with poverty and youth violence for years, but a group of Frayser High School students are taking matters into their own hands.

Twelve students make up the Frayser Youth Council, which is tasked with making suggestions on how to reduce youth violence from a young person’s perspective. Those suggestions are fed into the Memphis Shelby Crime Commission’s Operation Safe Community plan, a 26-point plan to improve the city and county’s overall safety rate by 2016.

Frayser High senior Kenneth Douglass said he’s seen many of his peers fall victim to gangs, drugs, and poverty, and he hopes this council can encourage them to take a different route.

“I’ve seen friends not have things to wear, so they don’t come to school,” said Douglass, chairman of the council. “[I’ve seen] friends selling drugs, or their mom or dad is smoking drugs and they take them and come to school high. I try to encourage them as much as I can and let them know their education is free so they need to take advantage of it. This is their way out.”

The council held its first event, the Frayser Youth Violence Prevention Summit and Summer Celebration, on May 19th at Frayser High School. The summit, attended by around 130 people, highlighted the problem of violence in Frayser, and students discussed how it can be prevented.

Mayor A C Wharton and Pastor T.J. Johnson, a former Frayser resident and the spokesperson for the White House initiative regarding youth crime prevention in Memphis, spoke on ways to reduce youth violence, such as providing better after-school programs and outlets for kids to voice their feelings and encouraging kids to avoid hanging around the wrong crowd.

James Nelson, the council’s coordinator and director of youth services for the city, said he’s especially interested in youth violence prevention because he’s the father of four girls.

“It’s of utmost importance that they be able to live in a community where they can be free to go to the park without being afraid of who’s going to blow their brains out,” Nelson said. “I can’t just be concerned about them. I also have to be concerned about the next child too. Making sure that we have these conversations and that we have programming for youth is vitally important.”

The council was awarded a $10,000 grant from Target to fund its initiatives. The council is using $5,000 of those funds to provide mini-grants of $1,000 to Frayser organizations that focus on education, jobs, counseling and mentoring, and faith-based initiatives. There will be $500 grants awarded for nonprofits that focus on athletics and the arts. Organizations can apply for the grants online through May 31st at the city of Memphis’ website under the “Government News” tab.

“We have some serious pockets of young people who are involved in crime, but I think that we have a huge number of success stories that go untold every day of kids who are doing the right thing,” Nelson said. “Those stories are often overshadowed by kids who go out and make foolish decisions. I definitely think this council can help change that.”

Categories
News The Fly-By

Fly on the Wall

Naughty Naughty

This week we turn our attention to Mt. Juliet, the heavily conservative Nashville suburb where scandal is brewing. One city worker was fired and four others tendered their resignations after they were accused of using city-owned phones to send one another sexually explicit messages that revolted Mayor Ed Hagerty, who has since described the situation as being both “appalling” and “disgusting.” 

The response seems over the top since this did happen in Mt. Juliet, home of state senator Mae Beavers. Who among us hasn’t texted “Screw Mae Beavers” at one point or another?

We’re a Cliche

As if the Tennessee legislature didn’t do enough to convince the rest of the world that we’re all a bunch of barefoot hillbillies, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control has released a survey showing that when it comes to poor dental hygiene, Tennessee is tops. Extrapolating from the CDC report, The Chattanooga Times Free Press reported that Tennesseans rank 47th in the nation for dental health. On the bright side, it probably means we rank #4 in the nation for both shotgun weddings and colorful yokels.

The Artist …

Robert Hodges should rechristen himself the Artist Formerly Known as Prince Mongo. Defending his outlandish yard decorations in a videotaped interview, Memphis’ favorite alien/export to Florida said he’d studied under Christo and influenced the famous environmental artist. 

“His theory is that art should not be on canvases where only a few can see them when they buy and hoard them in their homes,” he told a reporter for the Sinclair News blog. “When he draped the mountains, everybody thought he was crazy. Over there in Poland or wherever, $7 million went on the mountains in cloth. And then he turned it loose and let the wind take it to the sky. And the spirits took over. Millions of people know about it. The people saw it and live with it every day, a memory.”

Categories
Letters To The Editor Opinion

Letters To The Editor

Obama and Gay Marriage

Since President Obama wisely announced his support of gay marriage (The Rant, May 17th issue), there has been the expected negative reaction, primarily from fundamentalist religious groups. One totally erroneous objection that I keep seeing needs a sensible rebuttal. I read commentaries maintaining that only households containing both a male and female parent can raise a well-adjusted child. Not only is this a slam at single mothers (straight or gay), it is also blatantly false.

A number of studies have clearly shown that children raised by same-sex parents not only do as well as children raised in two-parent heterosexual families but actually do better academically, have higher self-esteem and fewer behavioral problems. This clearly flies in the face of the “it takes straight couples to raise good children” argument. Since some of these studies have been published in popular mainstream magazines, it has no doubt contributed to the fact that now a majority of Americans are in favor of gay marriage. Education tends to help eradicate bigotry.

At this point, the only objection that can be made against gay marriage is based solely on religious preferences. Even our current Republican Supreme Court is not likely to rule to abolish the constitutional separation of church and state, so it is only a matter of time before the U.S. joins every other enlightened nation in embracing fairness and equality for all its citizens.

Jim Brasfield

Memphis

Barbecurious

We all know Memphis will barbecue anything (“Barbecurious,” May 17th issue), but I have to give credit to the Flyer for coming up with at least a couple examples I hadn’t heard about. I’m not real sure I’m going run out for barbecued tofu or portobellos anytime soon, but I just might try those char-grilled oysters at Pearl’s.

Lanny Dennis

Memphis

Sheriff Malfeasance?

On October 20, 2011, Timothy Williams from Grapeland, Texas, was in Tennessee’s Obion County to buy hay. Williams was stopped by police and his cash, $6,451, was seized. The probable cause for the seizure was suspicion that it was drug money, although no drugs were found and there were no charges filed.

After returning home, Williams retained an attorney in Union City to recover his money. Williams settled for the return of his money, less $1,000. It also cost him $350 to post a bond necessary to apply for the recovery of his money. After the attorney fees of $1,500, Williams lost $2,850. He had done nothing wrong at all except to come to Tennessee.

There are hundreds of such examples of the seizure of cash on Tennessee’s roadsides, and it is an outrageous violation of our Fifth Amendment, which states that we shall not be deprived of life, liberty, or property without due process of law. If police seizure of money on our highways when no crime has occurred qualifies as due process of law, we have some serious problems with the interpretation of due process.

Tennessee’s civil forfeiture laws have incentivized our police into becoming highway bandits. This is tyranny. If you are unconcerned, count yourself one of the “sheeple,” a frog in the pot that slowly came to a rolling boil and never felt the heat, but you are cooked just the same. Liberty can only be retained by a vigilant citizenry. The rise of that vigilant citizenry is the Tea Party, here in an effort to regain and retain liberty, and here to stay.

David Nance

Trenton, Tennessee

Rich Romney

Mitt Romney personifies the party of the rich. Every move the Republican Party makes, from gutting consumer protections to severely limiting society’s safety net for the vulnerable, at-risk poor, is designed to aid the wealthy. Nothing is safe from these politicians, not even Social Security, Medicare, or Medicaid.

“The Republican Party has totally abdicated its job as the guardian of fiscal discipline,” said David Stockman, who served as Reagan’s budget director. “They’re on an anti-tax jihad — one that benefits the upper class.”

Republicans are insisting that closing tax loopholes, Bush tax cuts for the rich, and subsidies for oil and gas companies are off-limits. This is what Mitt Romney stands for and fully embraces.

Ron Lowe

Nevada City, CA

Categories
Letter From The Editor Opinion

Letter From The Editor: Betting on Facebook

In 2010, The Social Network was on most critics’ list of the best films of the year. Based on Ben Mezrich’s book, The Accidental Billionaires, the movie chronicled how Mark Zuckerberg, a socially inept Harvard student, created Facebook.

The story in a nutshell: Zuckerberg got dumped by his girlfriend, went back to his dorm, got drunk, and trashed her in a blog entry. He then created a website that posted pictures of Harvard co-eds and allowed male students to “rate” them on their attractiveness. Harvard’s female students were understandably outraged, and the stunt got Zuckerberg put on probation. Undeterred, and encouraged by the instant popularity of his late-night project, Zuckerberg came up with (or stole, depending on who you believe) a prototype for the social network that now, eight years later, has almost a billion users around the globe.

Last week, Facebook made big news by going public, selling $16 billion worth of stock in an IPO at $38 a share. It made Zuckerberg and his co-owners billionaires overnight. Good news for them. Not so good if you were one of those who bought stock at the IPO price. As I write this, Facebook shares are selling for around $31. In other words, if you bought 1,000 shares Friday, when the stock went public, you’re down seven large today. If you’re one of the three or four fund managers hired to hustle the stock to the public, your clients are collectively down several billion bucks. Rest assured they are not pressing the “like” button on this deal.

I’m on Facebook, but as far as I can tell, it doesn’t make any money off of me, which, if I’m typical, is not a good sign. I can’t remember ever clicking on the little ads that are presumably tailored to my interests. (One of them suggests that I might be suffering from gout, which does make me wonder what they know that I don’t.) Like most people, I post stuff on my page that interests me — vacation pictures, political items, a video of Bruce Lee playing ping-pong with nunchucks. There are a couple of groups I frequent for the chat. I click the “like” button in support of clever or insightful posts. That’s about it.

The big question for those who’ve invested in Facebook is whether it will continue to grow when, as is inevitable, more “monetization” gimmicks are put into play. It’s a risky bet, I’d say, but what do I know?

I do know Yahoo was selling for $118 a share a few years back. You can buy it for around $15 now. Yahoo, indeed.

Bruce VanWyngarden

brucev@memphisflyer.com