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News The Fly-By

Green Arrows and Red X’s Once Ruled Traffic on Union Avenue

From the 1970s to 2001, the mighty, six-lane Union Avenue flowed four lanes west in the mornings and then four lanes east in the evenings. Reversing the flow of this urban behemoth needed only the flip of a switch. 

That switch produced cold, unyielding green arrows or red Xs above the street. They told Memphis motorists which lanes were paths to the promised land (the green arrows) and which lanes were highways to hell (the red Xs). And those could switch immediately (and they did every day, twice a day). 

“You know, it was the time before video games, and we had to make our own fun,” said Memphis City Council member Shea Flinn.

Formally, they were called “reversible lanes,” and, before Interstate 40 was completed here, they made perfect sense. An additional lane on Union was opened up to carry the swell of commuter traffic heading in one direction at peak times, in the mornings when commuters were headed to work and in the afternoons when they left. 

Lights strung above the street changed to tell drivers which lanes were heading in which direction. If it sounds confusing, that’s only because it was confusing.

In 1997, the Flyer had a Best of Memphis category called “Best of Memphis Drivers,” in which one of our on-the-scene readers explained the confusion of the times. 

“Oh, the horror! You can see them coming from blocks away,” the reader said. “You check to see if you have an arrow or an ‘X.’ Sure enough, you’re in the right [lane], involuntarily sucked into a deadly game of chicken.”

Flinn said the reversible lanes confused his Rhodes College classmates. If their questions about the sanity of such a scheme came as they were behind the wheel, Flinn’s advice was quick and urgent: “Just trust me. You want to get over right now!” 

John Vergos, co-owner of Charles Vergos’ Rendezvous, was on the city council when those reversible-lane lights came down. Traffic engineers were wary of removing them, he said.

“They told us it would be all doom and gloom and wanted to study it for six or eight months,” he said. “In the end, the council just forced them to change it. They told us all kinds of horror stories, but it worked perfectly from day one.”

Now, the mighty Union Avenue runs three lanes east and west all day long. But changes are afoot. 

John Cameron, director of the city’s engineering division, said a left turning lane will soon be installed between Cleveland and Bellevue. It will help alleviate some of the traffic trying to turn onto Bellevue to Methodist University Hospital. Also, the lane and a new light will allow left turns for the “first time in years, and years, and years” from Union onto Cleveland. 

“If [the left turning lane] works, we’ll look at moving farther east and making some of those other signalized intersections in places where you can turn left,” Cameron said. “It may even help folks getting in and out of businesses along Union to have that left turn lane.”

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Cover Feature News

Sun Studio Makes a Comeback

Sun Studio is the body around which Memphis music orbits — and where it all began. Jim Stewart at Stax saw Sam Phillips selling records and bought his own recorder. Two of the founders of Hi Records came from Sun. Phillips showed everybody the way. The radio engineer from north Alabama set Memphis music in motion from 706 Union Avenue.

“There are a lot of people who think the music is magic, and it does have a magic quality to it,” says Jerry Phillips, Sam’s youngest son. “But my dad always said it’s who you’ve got in there. Who knows how to operate the equipment and place the microphones? You’re not necessarily going to have a hit because you’re in that room. Or get that sound at all.”

The person operating Sun Studio today is Matt Ross-Spang, who was a Germantown High student when he set his sights on the room that Phillips opened as the Memphis Recording Service in January 1950. Ross-Spang is finishing a years-long effort to return the hallowed studio to its original condition, complete with period-correct equipment and all the discipline that old gear forces onto engineers and artists alike. It’s not the sort of task a typical person assumes, but Sun Studio was never a place for typical people.

“He’s a young man with an old soul. Matt’s got a lot of Sam Phillips in him,” Jerry Phillips says. “He loves that equipment and the simplicity of it all.”

Sam Phillips was famous for his ability to sense the emotional content of a recording and to anticipate how listeners would respond. Phillips’ intuition came from a childhood exposure to African-American sounds that he heard in the cotton fields of north Alabama. His love for music drew him into the radio business, where he learned to work a nascent technology through which he commanded the airwaves, electronic signals, and a generation of American teenagers to dance to those sounds. Phillips had a gift for musical intuition, but he was also an engineer.

“He took a course at Alabama Polytechnic Institute and an engineering course at Auburn. I don’t think he went to Auburn, but it was through the mail” Jerry Phillips says. “Of course, when he got to his recording studio days, he installed his own equipment, hooked it all up, built the speakers. I wouldn’t necessarily call him a gear-head, but he was a gear-head by necessity. He had to do the things he was capable of doing, because he didn’t have much money. As a general rule, he was very interested in equipment and technology.”

Phillips worked in audio when audio was new. He became a radio engineer in Muscle Shoals in the late 1940s. At that time, music was cut onto lacquer discs by a lathe. It was not until after World War II that Americans became aware of recording to magnetic tape, a technology developed by the Germans. “Tape recording” as we know it was originally funded in the U.S. by Bing Crosby, who saw that the possibility of recording sound to the quieter, longer-format medium would allow him to spend less time in the broadcast studio and more time on the golf course. Crosby spent $40,000 to bankroll the Ampex tape corporation in 1947. Phillips opened Memphis Recording Services two years later.

Matt Ross-Spang sits in the control room of Sun Studios, surrounded by machines that seem to have come from a 1950s sci-fi movie. On the other side of the glass, a large tour group sings along to Elvis’ “That’s All Right.” The tourists peer through the window at Ross-Spang as he talks about his job.

“Sometimes its like being in a zoo. You’re in the cage,” Ross-Spang says. His “office” is historic, a fascinating place. But it’s also a working recording studio as well as something of an ad hoc mental health facility. Like Sam, Ross-Spang has to understand both human and electronic circuitry.

“When people come to [record at Sun], they are freaked out. You have to let them Instagram and calm down. If you’re not a sociable, welcoming guy, they’ll be puking or freaking out. You won’t get anywhere.”

Ross-Spang asked for these problems. He’s had Sun on his sonar since he was a kid.

“I recorded here when I was 14,” Ross-Spang says. “I did this god-awful recording, I mean god awful. It was so bad. I played acoustic and this guy played a djembe drum with eggs. That’s how bad it was. But I met James Lott, who had been the engineer for 20 years at the time. So, to me, it was like the coolest thing in the world being in Sun. A lot of people get captured by sound. I wasn’t captured by sound at that point, but when I watched him manipulate the sound, I was like ‘You can do all of that?’

“Trying to save what I did out in the studio, I just bugged him a bunch, and he told me to come back and intern with him,” Ross-Spang says. “I came back when I could drive. So I came to work here when I was 16. The other intern didn’t last that long. I started interning for him when I was about 17 or so. After high school, I would come down and do tours as a tour guide. And then I’d intern until about two or three in the morning. I did that for about six or seven years and then took over as head engineer about five years ago. I’m one of the few people who figured out what they wanted to do really early on. And it was Sun Studio.”

Long before Ross-Spang arrived, the facility had been abandoned by the Phillips (who never owned the building) in 1959. It sat empty, then housed other businesses. According to Jerry Phillips, a combined effort by Graceland, the Smithsonian, and Sam himself saved the place from the typical Memphis fate of abandonment, demolition, and dollar store. The studio was rebuilt according to Sam’s memory before being purchased by Gary Hardy in the late 1980s. The current owner is John Schorr. But Ross-Spang is the driving force behind rebuilding the room to Sam’s specs.

“It’s fantastic that [Ross-Spang] has pursued this with such scholarly devotion,” says Peter Guralnick, author of the definitive, two-part Presley biography, Last Train to Memphis and Careless Love, who is currently at work on a biography of Sam Phillips. “Sam was systematic in thinking about sound and gave great thought to it — no square angles; the tiles. In addition, he felt there was something unique about the room at 706 Union. He didn’t know it when he rented it. To have reconstituted it is an exercise in creative archeology.”

Ross-Spang is certainly diligent, but there were some lucky (and unlucky) breaks along the way.

“I became the head engineer at Sun Studio when I was 22. I didn’t have any money. I had one guitar. It was a beautiful, big Guild. It was signed by Robert Plant, Elvis Costello — people I’ve met over the years and hung out with here. One night, while I was away, it got smashed, and I got an insurance check from the studio for it. It was a huge chunk of money for me. The whole time I’ve been at Sun, I’ve wanted to put the original stuff in. Sam used this old 1930s RCA tube console. But you could never find those things. People just threw them out in the 1960s. But one popped up on eBay, two days after my guitar was smashed. The only way I could have bought it was with the insurance check. To this day, I think my X-Men ability is that if I need something and I think about it hard enough, it pops up on eBay. I bought that, and the studio bought other stuff. It’s taken about five years, but now it’s all here.”

Ross-Spang bought a 1936 RCA radio mixing console, the same model Phillips paid $500 for when he opened Memphis Recording in January 1950. Phillips originally cut records onto discs with a lathe and switched to analog tape in late 1951.

“I’ve got the same 1940s Presto lathe that I can cut 45s on. All the Ampex, all the microphones are period-correct to what he used in the day. It’s becoming exactly like it was in 1956.”

In 1956 at Sun, Johnny Cash recorded “I Walk the Line.” Orbison cut “Ooby Dooby.” Billy Lee Riley recorded “Flyin’ Saucers Rock & Roll.”

“Mark Neil, who did the Black Keys’ Brothers album, is a huge Sun fanatic,” Ross-Spang says. “He helped me locate stuff and figure out how Sam did it. Back then, there was no ‘normal’ way to do things. A lot of the stuff was homemade. We really had to use our ears and listen to records. There were only five pictures in the studio back then. It’s not like the Beatles, where we know exactly on June 2, 1966, George Harrison sneezed. We don’t have any of that kind of info. A lot of the old guys don’t really remember. Scotty Moore was an engineer after Sun, so he remembered a lot more than anybody else. But even then, Scotty might say one thing, somebody else might say another.”

Moore, who played guitar on all of the better Elvis records before the late 1960s, proved to be more than a historical resource for Ross-Spang.

“I’m lucky enough to have known the Sun guys for a long time,” Ross-Spang says. “I’d go visit [Moore] every couple of months in Nashville. Once, Chip Young was there and they both busted out guitars. Chip brought out his Gibson Super 400. Chip Young is one of my favorite guitar players of all time. He played with Elvis and some other people. So they are all playing at Scotty’s, and then they passed it to me.”

For Ross-Spang, who plays guitar in the Bluff City Backsliders, it was terrifying: “I’m thinking ‘What am I going to play in front of y’all?'”

The job and the friendship with Moore later put Ross-Spang in an awkward place.

“A year or two ago, I did a record with Chris Isaak here. And, this January, the BBC wanted to do an interview with Scotty, but about his life, not about Elvis. They called me up and we kind of got some things together. We got Chris Isaak to host it. Then about a week before the producer called and said, ‘Hey, we thought it would be great if they cut the Elvis songs again.’ That’s great, but Scotty hasn’t played guitar in like five years; he just doesn’t do it anymore. They said, ‘That’s fine, you do it.’ I was like, ‘Great, you’re going to make me play my hero’s guitar licks in front of him in the place where he did it.’ Of course, I know all his licks. I’ve stolen them a thousand times. He’s saved my butt on sessions. But I’ve never had to do it front of everybody. And to make matters worse, I had invited Jerry Phillips, J.M. Van Eaton, everybody.”

But things got even weirder.

“A side funny thing was that Chris wanted to do the songs in E,” Ross-Spang says. “If you’re a guitar player, you know they’re in A. You can play them in E, but they don’t sound the same. I’m setting up the mics and I hear ‘Let’s try this in E.’ I’m going, ‘crap.’ I told Chris, ‘You know these songs are in A,’ and he says, ‘E is better for me.’ I’m wondering how I’m going to save my butt. I’m just thinking about me at this point. I know one person in this room who can get him to go with A.

“I said, ‘Scotty, Chris is talking about doing ‘That’s All Right’ in E.’ He was like, ‘What? Why?’ I said, ‘You should go talk to him.’

“We did them in A, and it sounded great. It came out really well. But I had bought a tube tape echo because of the one Scotty had at his house. Afterward, he said, ‘You know I’ve got one of those.’ I said ‘I bought one because of you.’ He said, ‘Well, hell, I’ll just give you my old one.’ About a month or two later he called me up and asked ‘When are you going to come get this thing?’ I wasn’t about to bug him about it. So I went up there as fast as I could. He gave me whole live rig setup from the ’90s. It had his tube echo. He used [effects] to try to simulate the quirks of tape. They all have his hand-written notes on them. It was one of the greatest days of my life. It’s like Yoda giving you his light saber.”

Working with the limitations of the last century might seem like a pain, but Ross-Spang, who was recently named governor of the producers’ and engineer’s wing of the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences’ Memphis chapter, appreciates the discipline it takes to record an entire group’s performance without stopping — an art many consider lost.

“When you look at old pictures of Willie Mitchell and Sam, they’re kind of crazy looking,” Ross-Spang says. “They’re smoking, and they’re hunkered over a big piece of metal and knobs. Nowadays, if I get tagged in photos, it’s me hunkered over a mouse. Why would you take a picture of that? The magic is gone when you go all digital.”

Recording a whole room to mono means everybody has to get their parts right. You can’t fix a mistake. Perhaps the reason Al Green, Johnny Cash, and the Killer keep selling records 60 years later is that they made great music together at the same time.

“I love that way of making records. Everyone has to pay attention to each other instead of themselves. It’s a team effort, including me,” Ross-Spang says. “It’s not very forgiving. But I think one of the reasons people come here to do that is because it makes them a better musician. With the computer, you can play five solos, go home for the day, and the engineer will make a solo for you. But here, if you don’t get a solo right, you may have just wasted a great vocal take. There’s so much more on the line. But that makes you play better too. It’s the only way I like to work now. People hire me to work in other studios, and I try to take the same mentality. It doesn’t always work, because they’ve got booths and headphones. You say, ‘Can you turn your amp down.’ They say, ‘Can I just put my amp in the booth?'”

He shakes his head.

“If you give a mouse a cookie, it wants a glass of milk.”

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We Recommend We Recommend

Bill Courtney Booksigning

”You must absolutely be beside yourself,” said the reporter to the man on the red carpet. “How will the movie winning the Oscar change your life?”

“It won’t,” answered the man. “Tomorrow, they’re going to roll the red carpet up and next year, another great movie will come out, and I’ll be an afterthought.”

The man being interviewed was Bill Courtney. The movie about his coaching the Manassas High School football team in Memphis was Undefeated, which won the Academy Award for Best Documentary Feature in 2012. And an “afterthought” Courtney may be in some quarters. Don’t tell that, though, to the inspired audiences who hear Courtney on the speaking circuit. And don’t tell that to readers of Against the Grain (Weinstein Books), Courtney’s book of life lessons (co-written with author and journalist Michael Arkush), which Courtney will be signing at the Booksellers at Laurelwood on Saturday.

The book draws from Courtney’s own life; the lives of the students he coached; the lives of his workforce at Classic American Hardwoods (the local lumber company Courtney owns); and the lives of fellow Memphians, including Dr. Scott Morris, Jim Strickland, Fred Smith, and Jacqueline Smith. The book’s subtitle covers the territory: “A Coach’s Wisdom on Character, Faith, Family, and Love.”

Courtney covers his coaching philosophy in just a few words too. Never mind the standard X’s and O’s. Courtney “starts with believing that players win games and coaches win players.” And elsewhere in Against the Grain: “I didn’t coach football. I coached kids who played football.”

And no, winning isn’t the only thing, according to Coach Courtney. There’s something to be said too for commitment, civility, perseverance, personal responsibility, and dignity. Grace, too, and forgiveness when times get tough, on or off the field.

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Opinion The Last Word

The Rant

Graduation season is upon us again and colleges and universities have announced their commencement speakers. Peyton Manning spoke to the class of 2014 at the University of Virginia, which was an odd choice con-sidering where he did his college quarterbacking. Howard University awarded an honorary doctorate to Sean “Puff Daddy” Combs, who now wishes to be known as “Doctor Diddy.” Being a distinguished alumnus of the University of Memphis, I kept waiting for my alma mater to call, but I guess they lost my number after I surrendered my basketball season tickets. I did prepare a little something just in case, and since I hate to see inspirational words go to waste, here is the commencement address I might have given:

Congratulation, graduates. Your term of voluntary servitude has ended, and you are now free to go. Take a month and sleep as late as you damn please, but remember your new student loan contracts require you to be a server in a restaurant for at least three months. There, you’ll get your first taste of reality and learn the meaning of humility. Also, you will understand, early on, the importance of tips to the people who serve you. 

Winston Churchill once famously said, “Never, never, never give up.” There may have been a few more “nevers” in there, but this is the agreed upon number. I know you have all heard it said before: If you believe in yourself, don’t let anything or anyone stop you from reaching your goal. Just keep believing and if you don’t give up, you’ll eventually get there. I believe, however, that there are times when the wiser path is to just go ahead and give up. If you’re an unfunny comedian, a 39-year-old minor league pitcher, an aging lounge singer, or an unlucky stockbroker, give it up, man, or you just might sleep through life while following your dreams.

Now that everyone is majoring in broadcasting and filmmaking, we have encountered a problem. If everybody wants to be a sportscaster, a movie director, a pop star, or a reality TV personality, somebody’s going to fall short of the mark. Spare yourself the years of agony pimping yourself out to under-qualified employers whose subjective judgment determines if you fail or succeed. Aim for the stars, but find something on Earth that will pay the rent. To paraphrase the great mythologist Joseph Campbell, go ahead and follow your bliss, but keep your day job. The class of 2014 will never have to worry about leaving school just to find a jobless economy waiting. In case you didn’t catch the news, NASA satellite photography has revealed that large chunks of the polar ice caps have collapsed, and a United Nations expert panel has speculated that it’s too late to do anything about it. Sea levels are rising at an alarming rate since polar ice sheets have melted “faster in the last 20 years than in the last 10,000.” This means, goodbye Florida and the Eastern Seaboard, farewell Gulf Coast and the Jersey Shore, and the Big Apple will soon be bobbing for apples. On the bright side, the Corps of Engineers and FEMA will be hiring, as will insurance companies worldwide. Have you seen how much plumbers and electricians make these days? Damage assessors will be the new rock stars.

Try to find a career that won’t stress you out. Lighten up now or get digestive problems later. The words “public servant” have become synonymous with the term “Ponzi scheme.” We need people committed to the kind of public service that doesn’t take bribes in the way of campaign contributions. I’m sorry, how silly of me. The Roberts Supreme Court has declared corporations as people, and money as speech. And now that political donations have been declared unlimited, a few cognitive-challenged billionaires determine who’s elected to public office. So, be an activist. Don’t be indifferent or passive, and don’t wait for someone else to say what you’re thinking. We’re only one Supreme Court justice away from overturning this whole Bush legacy once and for all.

We need people to put our priorities back in order, and teaching is the most important, lowest-paid job out there. Be a teacher or else sit on a commission that raises their salaries. Wake up — not everyone can be famous, so make a difference where you are. I’d say “respect your elders,” but many of your elders are undeserving of your respect, so just show a bit of deference to older people because, with any luck, you’ll be one someday. In conclusion, take your time. I began college in 1965 and graduated in 1993, so should you find yourself in times of difficulty and anxiety, take one of my old sayings to heart: “When in doubt, go back to college.”

Categories
Film Features Film/TV

X-Men: Days of Future Past: Mutatis mutan(t)dis

I forgot how thrilling the X-Men movies were until the moment in Days of Future Past when a Sentinel robot shattered Iceman’s head. So I wasn’t surprised to discover that the fifth (or seventh) installment in the franchise is as casually creative and proudly pseudo-profound as its predecessors. With the exception of a few moments of lachrymose speechifying, its unrelenting, almost sadistic intensity makes it the summer’s most ruthlessly efficient blockbuster. You will be entertained. Resistance is futile.

Although I confess an irrational fondness for Brett Ratner’s X-Men: The Last Stand, bringing back two-time X-Men director Bryan Singer for Days of Future Past was a wise choice. His third entry (after the original X-Men and its first sequel) in the series satisfies serious fan expectations and respects the cinematic universe built by the previous four films. And if you don’t look too closely or think too hard, he also straightens out the previous tetralogy’s knotty timelines, gaps, and inconsistencies.

A movie this size is a big undertaking, and at times it creaks like some superhero version of It’s A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. The army of recognizable faces in Days of Future Past is formidable: we see old and young Magneto (Ian McKellan and Michael Fassbender), old and young Professor X (Patrick Stewart and James McAvoy), new Mystique (Jennifer Lawrence), old Kitty Pryde (Ellen Page), old Storm (Halle Berry), and more fresh faces and peripheral favorites. At the center of this mutant whirlwind stands Wolverine (Hugh Jackman), an immortal tough guy for whom history is a nightmare from which he cannot awaken.

In Days of Future Past, Pryde sends Wolverine’s consciousness back to the 1970s in an effort to avoid the nightmarish future the surviving mutants now live in, where they are hunted down and obliterated by the sleek, chain-mailed Sentinels. But the fight scenes are only part of the show. Singer’s film is also a poppy, propellant gloss on Jean Renoir’s famous observation from The Rules of The Game: “The awful thing about life is this: everyone has their reasons.”

Take Magneto, whose hostility is partially rooted in his belief that fearful humans will wipe out his mutant brothers. Or take scientist and industrialist Bolivar Trask (Peter Dinklage). Trask believes that mutants will do the same to humans because that’s the way evolution works. And don’t forget the eternal optimist Charles Xavier, who continues to believe in human decency and human hope even when he’s a drug-addled, powerless version of his former self. Each of them is, at some point in the film, doing the right thing.

Although its most fully realized set piece is a funny slow-motion musical interlude inspired by the 2006 animated film Over The Hedge, Days of Future Past is the most serious film in the X-Men cosmology. There’s not much time for verbal grace notes, but there are plenty of visual ones, from Wolverine’s gray-streaked temples to an army of Sentinels spreading out over a stormy sky like skydiver-shaped warheads. It traduces history because its whole premise is that history is changeable bunk, and for a global $300 million smash hit, it gets awfully dark before the dawn. Good stuff.

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News The Fly-By

Ioby Launches New Website To Help Memphians Bring Ideas to Action

The Green Machine, a mobile grocery store, has been delivering fresh produce to residents of Memphis food deserts for more than a year now. But now the group behind the Green Machine has begun crowd-funding to take their mission to the next level with a grocery cooperative storefront for the Vance neighborhood downtown.

That’s just one of many ideas recently posted to the new Create Memphis website (memphis.ioby.org) launched last week. The site is powered by Ioby, a crowd-funding site that focuses on public projects and creative place-making. Ioby stands for “in our backyards.”

The national company Ioby has had a Memphis presence for about a year now, but until last week, the local site was set up like their other city sites with only serious crowd-funding campaigns that already had plans, budgets, and teams ready to implement the projects. The Hampline, the soon-to-be-constructed, two-way bicycle track from Overton Park to the Shelby Farms Greenline, was funded through the old Memphis Ioby platform.

But Ioby is trying something new with Create Memphis. Anyone with an idea can go to the site, post the idea, and see if it gains any traction. From there, a team of people at Ioby and Livable Memphis will help those ideas that need funding start a crowd-sourced campaign.

“As the [old] Ioby functions, it’s a useful tool for people with an idea, a plan, a budget, and a team. But a lot of people have ideas for Memphis that aren’t that developed yet, and in fact, they may not be ideas that should even come to fruition,” said Erin Barnes, executive director and co-founder of Ioby. “The idea behind Create Memphis is that it is an opportunity for people who have the beginning of an idea or would like to work on addressing a problem in their neighborhood.”

Barnes said Create Memphis was partly inspired by the Make Memphis campaign, a Facebook group started by entrepreneur Taylor Berger to generate ideas for improving the city. Ideas are posted to the Make Memphis Facebook page, but many don’t have the financial backing to become reality.

“People are always saying, ‘Somebody ought to …’ fill-in-the-blank. Well, if it needs to be done, maybe you should do it,” said Emily Trenholm, executive director for the Community Development Council of Greater Memphis, the umbrella organization over Livable Memphis.

From the Create Memphis website, anyone can click the “Add an Idea” button. The idea becomes a dot on a map of the city, and others can like your idea or comment. The staff at Ioby or Livable Memphis will help set up crowd-source campaigns for ideas that need support.

“You might say someone should really put a mural on that big blank wall. And then someone might comment, ‘You know, I could do that.’ And then you can use Ioby to raise a couple hundred dollars,” Trenholm said.

Paul Young, administrator of the Shelby County Office of Sustainability, is planning to upload about 200 ideas that were generated through recent Mid-South Regional Greenprint meetings. Those ideas range from bike lanes to community gardens to planting more trees.

“Ioby is going to integrate these ideas into their platform in case someone wants to pick up on one and try to implement it,” Young said. “We as government aren’t able to do everything, but this allows a way for those recommendations to live on beyond the planning process.”

The Create Memphis website is funded by the Hyde Family Foundation and the Community Foundation of Greater Memphis.

Categories
Fly On The Wall Blog Opinion

Plan Would Transform Overton Park Greensward into “Hippy Hollow” Exhibit and “Punching Zoo”

Grass

  • Grass

What do you do when your park/parking lot is infested with a bunch of protesters, frisbee enthusiasts, and drum circle junkies who think they have the right to tell motorists where they can and can’t park their cars? It’s a problem every green space faces sooner or later and, once again, this was Memphis’ year to confront a never ending national dilemma. In recent weeks a pack of hippies have occupied Overton Park, shaming potential Memphis zoo patrons by telling them they aren’t welcome to park on the grass. After much contention between various parties, and solutions that make nobody happy, Jimmy LeDouche, a self-employed white guy from Cordova thinks he has a viable alternative plan.

“The best part is that you don’t even have to tell the hippies to shut up,” LeDouche boasts. “The angrier and louder they are, the better things work out for everybody.”

LaDouche is the founder of ZooFist, a new philanthropic organization created to “protect and enstrengthen” the Memphis zoo and other zoos, parks, and zoos in parks with a “hippie problem.”

“These people live to protest,” LaDouche says. “God love ‘em, it’s what they do. It’s in their nature. In some cases it’s part of the mating ritual. So if the zoo can’t get them off the greensward then maybe the best thing to do is to expand the zoo, transforming a portion of the park into a natural hippy habitat that also includes plenty of on-grass parking.”

“I call it Hippy Hollow,” LaDouche says, pointing out the success of attractions like Primate Canyon, and Cat Country that have brought, “a fuck-ton” of visitors to the park, creating the need for common sense parking solutions that, “don’t force people to walk on dangerous inner city sidewalks or be trammed from a location full of morally questionable theaters, then whisked through a terrifying forest filled with litterbugs and lesbians.”

Carmine Ragusa, a PR specialist with Milwaukee’s Hasenpfeffer Ink has been working closely with ZooFist. “This could be huge,” he says. “Hippies have more in common with hippos than just a lot of letters. They’re both things you want your kids to experience, just not up close.”

One advantage LaDouche sees in this bold new proposal is that no other zoo in the world is currently exhibiting American hippies. Although a deal has yet to be struck, ZooFist is currently in negotiations with “a guy in China” to create mutually beneficial hippy/panda exchange programs.

“The sticky part,” Ragusa adds reluctantly, “Is that you can’t technically cage up hippies and send them to China against their will. Not even the traditional American longhair, which is endangered.”

LaDouche believes ZooFist’s offer of free rent and all the grass and seeds you can “eat, smoke, or whatever,” plus “some really egregious shit to protest” will attract more than enough interest.

Dagobah Fleen of the American Federation of Hippies thinks LaDouche’s plan just might work.

“I don’t like it,” Fleen says, shrugging. “But as long as there’s strong, enforceable provisions to forcibly house displaced animals or homeless people with neighborhood families, this will probably fly. We just want to know it isn’t park gentrification as usual.”

LaDouche says he is most excited about opening Memphis’ first “punching zoo,” which he describes as being, “Exactly like a petting zoo but with hitting and gouging.”

“Visitors will be more than happy to pay a premium for this add-on,” Ragusa says. “And at $5-$7 a head the punching attraction will quickly and easily raise enough revenue to pave and line as much of the park as necessary.”

Zoo officials have not been contacted for comment regarding the Hippy Hollow proposal because we’re a little bit afraid of them.

Categories
Fly On The Wall Blog Opinion

Comedian Josh Androsky Ate Magic Mushrooms and Went on “The Price is Right.” This Week He Plays the Poplar Lounge

The Price Is Rights Skateboard Rabbi

  • The Price Is Right’s Skateboard Rabbi

Tomorrow night (Thursday, May 29), the Poplar Lounge will play host to a trio of up-and-coming touring comedians: Chris Cubas, Jake Flores, and Josh Androsky.

Cubas hails from Austin, TX and was named one of Comedy Central’s nine “comics to watch” in 2013. He’s also a regular guest on Doug Benson’s Doug Loves Movies podcast. Flores comes from Austin as well (though he now resides in Brooklyn, NY) and is a contributor to VICE Magazine and Cracked.com. But the highlight of the bill might be Androsky, an Los Angeles, CA-based writer/comedian who is perhaps best known as the ‘shroom-tripping “Skateboard Rabbi” from TV’s The Price Is Right.

Yep, you read that correctly. In May of 2012, Josh Androsky and a group of friends attended a live taping of the Drew Carey-hosted game-show while under the influence of multiple substances, including hallucinogenic mushrooms. Androsky was called up as a contestant at the beginning of the show, and the rest, as they say, was pure comedy gold.

Here’s Androsky recounting the tale as a guest on NPR’s This American Life

And here’s the actual footage of his appearance on The Price Is Right as it aired on network airwaves:

Josh Androsky, Chris Cubas and Jake Flores perform Thursday, May 29 at 8 p.m. at the Poplar Lounge. Admission is $3. Local comedians Katrina Coleman and Josh McLane will also perform.

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Pension Reform Law Signed by Gov. Haslam

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The mayor and Memphis City Council now have six years to begin paying the full, annually required contributions to its pension program.

Tennessee Gov. Bill Haslam signed a new law Wednesday that mandates all local government entities in the state to make those full annual payments “to protect the financial stability of local government and to protect workers’ pensions.”

The Public Employee Defined Benefit Financial Security Act of 2014 gives a six-year ramp-up period for local governments like Memphis that have not been making the full, annual payments. If the governments fail to make the required contributions after that six-year period, the state can withhold money it provides to them and then use that money to make the pension payments.

“For those few that don’t pay 100 percent, this law will move them toward a more sustainable financial future,” said Tennessee Senate Majority Leader Mark Norris (R-Collierville), the law’s sponsor in the Tennessee General Assembly. “When local governments hire employees and promise them pensions, those promises need to be kept. This law will reduce the likelihood that local government pension plans will run out of money at some point in the future and help protect taxpayers from the costly burdens of potential default.”

A news release Wednesday carried favorable opinions of the new law from creditors like Citigroup and bond rating agencies like Standard & Poor’s.

“This legislation is something all states should consider,” Charles E.F. Millard, managing director and head of pension relations for Citigroup said in the news release. “The health of public pensions depends upon their investment returns and plan structures, of course. But the key determinant of the health of our public plans is whether the public employer makes its full annual contribution. If everyone did this, public pensions would be far healthier than they are today.”

The law allows each government entity to choose the actuaries that will determine what those annual payments should be. So far, three actuaries have examined the Memphis pension fund. All three found different numbers on the size of the hole in the system and, thus, different numbers on the annual payments needed to plug that gap.

Memphis Mayor A C Wharton said last week that two of the actuary firms agreed the gap is $551 million and that the annual payments should be $78 million.

Wharton’s new budget proposes to ramp up to the full payment over five years with an additional $15 million going to the fund next year – for a total of $35 million. The payments would get higher and higher each additional year after that until the city is paying the fully required payment, or $78 million to the fund each and every year. Some Memphis City Council members want to ramp up to the full payments in two years.

The new law also comes with a provision that will allow some governments to work with the Tennessee Department of the Treasury if they “experience severe hardships” and can’t make the full pension payments after six years.

“Tennessee has a well-deserved reputation as one of the best financially managed states in the nation,” Tennessee State Treasurer David Lillard said in a statement. “This landmark legislation continues that proud tradition by applying a common sense approach to local government pension funding.”

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Memphis Gaydar News

Outflix Summer Film Series

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Each summer, Outflix screens campy and classic films to raise money for the Outflix Film Festival to be held in September. This year’s Summer Film Series kicks off on Thursday, May 29th with a “Summer Camp” theme. Each film is $10 and screens at Malco’s Studio on the Square. Tickets may be purchased online or at the door.

* Thursday, May 29th, 7 p.m. – Wigstock
This 1995 documentary takes viewers on a trip to Wigstock, the drag music festival in New York’s East Village, which featured performances by RuPaul, Crystal Waters, Deee-Lite, and others.

* Wednesday, June 11th, 7 p.m. – Mildred Pierce
This 1945 film noir starring Joan Crawford tells the story of a long-suffering mother and her ungrateful daughter.

* Thursday, June 19th, 7 p.m. – Hairspray
This 1988 John Waters film stars Ricki Lake as Tracy Turnblad, a young woman who defies the rules of 1960s racial segregation through dance.

* Thursday, June 26th, 7 p.m. – Kinky Boots
This 2005 musical by Cyndi Lauper and Harvey Fierstein follows the story a strait-laced shoe factory owner who partners with a drag queen to save his struggling business.