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Rassle Me Sports

WWE Fires Wrestler Who Appeared Last Week at Memphis County Fair

The inaugural year of the Memphis County Fair is off to a bad start after WWE released Big Cass, the event’s celebrity spokesperson and only known attendee.

WWE fans first learned about the Memphis County Fair and the Crazy Clown Coaster during June 12’s SmackDown Live at FedExForum:

WWE Fires Wrestler Who Appeared Last Week at Memphis County Fair (8)

The new coaster is apparently named after the fair employee who thought it was a good idea to invite a heel wrestler to help debut a new attraction when his rival Daniel Bryan would have been the smarter choice for the appearance (We all know he would have said “Yes!”). Bryan, who started his professional wrestling career in Memphis as the American Dragon, is immensely popular in the territory and has Mid-South Fairgrounds experience:

WWE Fires Wrestler Who Appeared Last Week at Memphis County Fair (9)

Even before Big Cass was fired, a second year of the Memphis County Fair seemed highly unlikely since it is hard to get Memphians to travel to an event in Parts Unknown. If the fair doesn’t return in 2019, expect the city of Green Bay to emerge as the leading contender to acquire the Crazy Clown Coaster.

Listen to Kevin Cerrito talk about pro wrestling on the radio every Saturday from 11-noon CT on Sports 56/87.7 FM in Memphis. Subscribe to Cerrito Live on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, tunein, PlayerFM or Sticher. Find out about his upcoming wrestling trivia events at cerritotrivia.com. Follow him on Twitter @cerrito.

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Beyond the Arc Sports

Grizzlies Draft Jevon Carter in Second Round

The Grizzlies have selected West Virginia guard Jevon Carter with the 32nd pick in the 2018 NBA Draft.

Carter was on many people’s draft boards as a very “Grit and Grind” selection for the Griz; he was an excellent defender in college and a relentless, high-motor player.

Seems like most of NBA Twitter agrees:

Grizzlies Draft Jevon Carter in Second Round

And here’s one calling him “the best on-ball defender in the draft”:

Grizzlies Draft Jevon Carter in Second Round (2)

Seems like a fine choice for a second-rounder. It remains to be seen whether the Grizzlies will have room for Carter on the 2018-19 roster, but hey, that’s what the Hustle are for—though I would expect Carter to challenge hard for a roster spot in training camp.

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Beyond the Arc Sports

Grizzlies Draft Jaren Jackson, Jr. in First Round

Grizzlies GM Chris Wallace.

The Grizzlies got their man, it seems. After Dallas and Atlanta pulled off a pick swap that sent Luka Doncic to the Mavericks at the #3 spot, the Grizzlies selected Michigan State freshman Jaren Jackson, Jr.

Jackson is a long-term play, for sure, but given that the Grizzlies have a new coaching staff focused around player development, and that Jackson figures to get real rotation minutes in the upcoming season even as the Grizzlies try to make the playoffs, I can’t say I’m disappointed in the outcome.

Of course, two things make drafting Jackson sting: firstly, if the Grizzlies had lost a couple more games, they’d have had a better chance to get the #1 overall pick and better odds at picking higher than fourth rather than falling two spots in the lottery. Second, if they hadn’t traded a first round pick to Boston in the Jeff Green trade all those years ago, they’d have had a future first to trade to Atlanta for the 3rd pick instead of watching the Dallas Mavericks leap frog them to get their man.

Once it was clear Doncic would be off the board, Jackson was a logical pick. If there were other guys they preferred—guys like Kevin Knox and Wendell Carter—those guys were available farther down in the top 10, and they should have traded down. Drafting Jackson shows they think they can develop him, and that they had a plan going into the draft (even though apparently JB Bickerstaff had to sell him on the organization so he’d release his medical info to the team, according to one report). I’m fine with it. It’s not the most exciting outcome, but Doncic wasn’t likely to be around at 4 anyway.

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Film/TV Film/TV/Etc. Blog

Hereditary

Leo Tolstoy opened Anna Karenina with the line “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”

(left to right) Milly Shaprio, Toni Collette, Gabriel Byrne, and Alex Wolf as the not-so-happy family in Hereditary.

This holds true for the family of Annie Graham (Toni Collette) in Hereditary. In fact, I’d venture to guess that no family has faced similar unhappiness, with the possible exception of Mia Farrow and John Cassavetes in Rosemary’s Baby. The film begins with the family preparing for the funeral of Ellen Leigh, Annie’s mother who just passed away at age 78. Even though she lived in the Graham’s large country home as she descended into dementia in the last few years, she and Annie were not what you’d call close. Annie’s surprised that the funeral for the this “secret and private woman” is so well attended.

It’s clear from the outset that, despite the outward trappings of affluence, this is not a healthy group of people. Dad Steve (Gabriel Byrne) looks perpetually crushed by the weight of his responsibilities. Teenager Peter (Alex Wolf) is a stoner who looks generally unwell, with splotchy skin and a perpetually sweaty demeanor that is especially alienating compared to his well-scrubbed, suburban classmates. Strangest of all is 13-year-old daughter Charlie (Broadway actress Milly Shapiro), who hides behind an unruly mop of hair and makes tiny dolls out of junk and scraps.

Milly Shapiro as Charlie

As for Annie, she is an artist who recreates scenes from her life in detailed miniatures. She’s got a big show coming up, and the deadline pressure—represented by a series of passive aggressive voicemail messages from her gallery representatives that doubles as Hereditary’s only attempt at comedy — is starting to get to her. Soon after her mother dies, she starts sneaking out of the house to attend survivor’s grief group therapy instead of working on the little dioramas of family tragedy that litter her attic.

Annie’s dioramas give director Ari Aster an opportunity for experimentation within his austere style. Almost all of the effects in Hereditary are in camera (or are such artfully produced CGI that it fooled me). Aster uses tilt-shift —a technique from still photography that uses a specially constructed lens to mess with the viewer’s depth perception—to blur the lines between the film’s base reality and Annie’s memories in miniature. The director couples his analog visuals with exceptional sound design, laying his arresting images on a bed of creaks and whispers.

Aster is not obsessed with building a better jump scare. He’s making horror hay out of the dread of family dysfunction and that subtle but unshakable feeling leftover from childhood that you’ve done something wrong that you don’t know about, but you’re about to get punished for it anyway. Secrets and spirits reach from beyond the grave to manipulate the living in almost every scene of Hereditary, in ways that are subtle but, in retrospect, become strikingly obvious.

Toni Collette screams real good.

Hereditary is short on gore but long on general creepiness. What makes it work are the performances, particularly Toni Collette’s commitment to playing a parent whose family is disintegrating around her while her sanity is fleeing. Audiences have talked about how this film stays with them after the credits roll, and I think that’s largely due to Collette’s blood and guts, leave-everything-on-the-screen efforts. There have been great screamers before—such as the mother-daughter duo of Janet Leigh and Jamie Leigh Curtis, for whom the term “scream queen” was coined — but Collette takes it to the next level with a guttural howl from the depths of her putrefying soul. Aster uses her pain as the main ingredient in a unique horror alchemy that is part family drama, part Wicker Man, and part panic attack.

Hereditary

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Rassle Me Sports

5 Facts About Dana White’s Pro Wrestling Debut in Memphis

Dreadhead Kev

UFC president Dana White ringside on Beale Street.

Last weekend in front of Jerry “The King” Lawler’s Hall of Fame Bar & Grille on Beale Street, UFC president Dana White was involved in a professional wrestling match for the first time ever. White’s debut in the squared circle was another historic wrestling moment in city know for its wrestling history. 

Here are five facts about the UFC boss’s “Beale Street Brawl”:

1) White was in the corner of Derrick King and Matt Serra in a tag match featuring one wrester and one MMA fighter on each team and one WWE Hall of Famer as a special enforcer outside the ring.

2) White entered the ring towards the end of the match and played an important role in the finish before getting attacked from behind by Maria Starr.

5 Facts About Dana White’s Pro Wrestling Debut in Memphis (5)

3) All of the action was filmed for the reality show Dana White: Lookin’ for a Fight.

[slideshow-1] 4) White picked Memphis over Mania.

5 Facts About Dana White’s Pro Wrestling Debut in Memphis

5) Mr. Belding was there.

5 Facts About Dana White’s Pro Wrestling Debut in Memphis (2)

5 Facts About Dana White’s Pro Wrestling Debut in Memphis (3)

Listen to Kevin Cerrito talk about pro wrestling on the radio every Saturday from 11-noon CT on Sports 56/87.7 FM in Memphis. Subscribe to Cerrito Live on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, tunein, PlayerFM or Sticher. Find out about his upcoming wrestling trivia events at cerritotrivia.com. Follow him on Twitter @cerrito.

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Music Music Blog

Get Hip to the Hop: Where to Hear Live Rap in Memphis

Travis Whiteside

Moneybagg Yo at Minglewood Hall

For some world-class hip hop, keep your eyes on the festivals. This city boasts several, often featuring the superstars of rap as headliners. This year’s Beale Street Music Festival presented, among others, Tyler, the Creator, Ludacris, Al Kapone, renowned Three 6 Mafia producer/artist Juicy J, and Young Dolph, currently riding high in the charts. That’s a high ratio of local rappers.

This October’s Mempho Music Festival will bring Juicy J once again, as well as other Memphians from way back, like Project Pat and Frayser Boy (with the Hi Rhythm Section, no less). Brooklyn’s legendary Nas will headline the October 7th lineup, supporting his new album, Nasir

Juicy J

Memphis is also host to a good many single-artist hip hop concerts: grand affairs in roomier venues like Minglewood Hall, the New Daisy Theatre, or the Hi-Tone (where Cities Aviv plays June 29). And then there’s the FedEx Forum, in a class of its own. On June 28, the latter will feature one the country’s biggest hip hop extravaganzas, Yo Gotti & Friends Birthday Bash 6, which always includes top-tier guest artists in addition to Gotti. It must be satisfying for Gotti to survey the landscape of his youth and reflect on his triumphs from the Forum’s stage.

Yo Gotti

Beyond concert and festival appearances by the mega-stars, hip hop shows are experiencing a renaissance in Memphis—for the first time since the 1990s heyday of clubs like the Complex, Fantasia and Precious Cargo, which closed its doors in 2006.

These days, Brinson’s Downtown (340 Madison), Height Lounge (6135 Mt. Moriah Ext.) Midtown Crossing Grill (394 N. Watkins) and CANVAS of Memphis (1737 Madison Ave.) are all places you can catch live hip hop on a regular basis. For DJ battles, keep an eye on the calendar at Memphis Slim Collaboratory (1130 College Studio), where Kingpin Da’ Composer hosts Let’s Get LOUD, a semi-annual beat battle and producer showcase. When Slice of Soul Pizza Lounge (1299 Madison Ave.) opened for business in January, they celebrated with a performance by famed Bronx duo Camp Lo that felt like the days of Precious Cargo revisited. Slice of Soul is also the current home of The Word, Neosoulville’s monthly open mic night, which features MCs alongside jazz divas, soul singers, poets and comedians, all set to the backdrop of Chinese Connection Dub Embassy.

Get Hip to the Hop: Where to Hear Live Rap in Memphis (2)

The Word is probably the city’s longest-running hip hop salon, but it’s hardly the only one. Look out for Dope on Arrival, a quarterly rap showcase held at Height Lounge, Pressure World, a DJ showcase usually held at Growler’s, and the Kickback, an eclectic, funky DJ and live music mash-up hosted by Devin Steele at the Hi-Tone. And every third Sunday of the month, two of the city’s top creative, Brandon “Eso” Tolson and Siphne Sylve, curate a musical salon called Artistik Lounge at Minglewood Hall. Over the last six years, they’ve brought in a wealth of local and national talent, running the gamut from Three 6 Mafia’s Gangsta Blac to NPR darlings Tank and the Bangas. On July 15, Zephaniah headlines Artistik Lounge.

Get Hip to the Hop: Where to Hear Live Rap in Memphis (3)

My favorite spot to catch live hip hop is, hands down, House of Mtenzi Museum (1289 Madison Ave.). The low stage and DIY atmosphere reminds me of the hardcore scene that captivated me in high school. And when local MC Jason Da Hater is running the microphone, you can expect hijinks like four-bar mic battles where the losers are forced to do push-ups before they can regain their mic privileges.

Iron Mic Coalition

Social media is the best way to find out about underground hip hop shows. Be sure to join the Rhyme Writtaz & Rhyme Lovaz Discussion Forum on Facebook. Moderated by Roy Dickenz, aka Milk, one of the MCs in Iron Mic Coalition, the forum offers a plethora of information about the local scene. While you’re at it, download the UnApp, created by the team at Unapologetic, who are hosting their own don’t miss event, the Stuntarious Vol. III EP Release Show, at Railgarten on Saturday, June 30.

It’s a banner month for hip hop at Railgarten—this Saturday night, the venue is also hosting Memphis Massacre, a skateboarding, jookin’ and rap extravaganza put together by VHS storeowner Luke Sexton. The line-up includes instrumental garage rock band Impala, Billboard charting rap duo HippySoul, Unapologetic’s Weird Maestro, and headliner Tommy Wright III, a Memphis-born rap legend of the 1990s who has resurfaced as a skate culture hero.

Currently, it’s easier to catch Wright onstage at SXSW, or in New York or Los Angeles, than it is in his own hometown. Wright’s last local appearance was during Gonerfest 13:

Get Hip to the Hop: Where to Hear Live Rap in Memphis

Parse through his YouTube channel and you’ll see him performing at L.A.’s hipster sneaker store Undefeated, or at the Circle Bar in New Orleans, surrounded by young white kids who know every syllable of his 1994 underground hit “Meet Yo Maker.”

Sexton sees Memphis Massacre as an opportunity to take VHS beyond the brick-and-mortar storefront. “We’re promoting the culture of the Dirty South,” he says. “Tommy really brings out a raw essence that skateboarders love. What he raps about isn’t glamorous—it’s the raw and dirty side of things.” Admission for Memphis Massacre, which kicks off at approximately 6 p.m. with DJ Hush and a skateboarding demo, is $10.

Categories
News News Blog

TennCare Request Could Cut 600K from Planned Parenthood

Jackson Baker

Planned Parenthood demonstrators

State officials have officially asked the federal government for permission to end TennCare payments to clinics that provide elective abortions.

In a notice filed last week, the state asked the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services (CMS) to allow the move, approved by state lawmakers this year. The public comment period on the proposal is open until July 13th and two public hearings are scheduled on the matter for tomorrow and Monday (more details below).

The request reads like a science experiment. Officially, it is a request to conduct a “demonstration project,” in which state health officials hope to demonstrate that by not allowing TennCare payments be made to such clinics, it ”will not have a negative impact on the state’s ability to ensure an adequate network of providers.” The request makes no mention of the health of TennCare recipients.

Officials with Planned Parenthood of Tennessee and North Mississippi (PPTNM) called the move “politically motivated” and ”dangerous.”

”This amendment blocks patients with low-incomes, who already face systemic barriers to care due to racist and discriminatory policies, from accessing critical care at Planned Parenthood in Tennessee,” reads a statement from the organization. “Governor [Bill] Haslam’s politically motivated agenda is dangerous to Tennesseans and will harm people in need of basic health care services.”

Planned Parenthood of Tennessee And North Mississippi/Facebook

PPTNM officials said the request would exclude at least 600,000 patients from getting care from their clinics and others like them. While those clinics do provide abortion services, they also provide birth control, cancer screenings, testing and treatment for sexually transmitted infections, and more.

PPTNM and its advocates are planning “a full-scale effort to oppose Governor Haslam’s latest attack on patients with low-incomes.” They are hoping to pack the public hearings with supporters and to flood state officials with public comments.

In 2010, 56 percent of all pregnancies in Tennessee were unintended and in 2016, 53 percent of women who gave birth were TennCare or Medicaid recipients, according to PPTNM.

“This proposed waiver does nothing to improve the integrity and effectiveness of the Medicaid program for Tennesseans,” said Ashley Coffield, CEO of PPTNM. “The last thing Tennesseans need is to have their options for reproductive and sexual health care restricted by additional barriers such as the proposed waiver.”

Here’s how to comment on the request:

TennCare is seeking feedback on Amendment 36 prior to its submission to CMS. Members of the public are invited to offer comments regarding Amendment 36 from June 13th, 2018, through July 13th, 2018.

Members of the public who wish to comment on the proposed amendment may do so through either of the following options:

• Comments may be sent by email to public.notice.tenncare@tn.gov.

• Comments may be mailed to: Dr. Wendy Long, Director Division of TennCare
310 Great Circle Road Nashville, TN 37243.

Individuals who wish to make their comments in person may attend either of the following events:

• A public hearing on June 22nd, 2018, at 3:00 p.m. CT in the Large Meeting Room of the Green Hills branch of the Nashville Public Library, 3701 Benham Avenue in Nashville.

• A public hearing on June 25th, 2018, at 2:00 p.m. CT in House Hearing Room II on the first floor of the Cordell Hull State Office Building, 425 5th Avenue North in Nashville.

Telephonic access to the June 25 hearing is available for those unable to attend in person. Individuals interested in this option must register by contacting Jonathan Reeve—no later than June 22nd at (615) 507-6449 or by email at jonathan.reeve@tn.gov.

Individuals with disabilities or individuals with limited English proficiency who wish to participate in one or both hearings and who may require language or communication assistance to do so should contact Talley Olson of TennCare’s Office of Civil Rights Compliance by phone at (855) 857-1673 or by email at HCFA.fairtreatment@tn.gov prior to the date of the hearing.

Categories
Intermission Impossible Theater

A Memorial Service Has Been Scheduled for Beloved Actor, Singer Ann Sharp

From The Apple Tree at Theatre Memphis. And looking a little fancy.

Theater artist Ann Sharp has died.

She ended her struggle with cancer Saturday, June 9th. Her presence was so keenly felt in Memphis. Her absence will be also.

I’ve admired Sharp longer than I’ve known most other actors in the tri-state area. Straightforward as it seems, I’ve also misspelled her name more often than anybody else’s. Sometimes I’ve spelled it Anne Sharp. Or Ann Sharpe. Or even Anne Sharpe when I was feeling especially reckless. I never could adequately explain why I thought her name needed an extra set of silent letters. It was like the correct spelling alway seemed insufficient, somehow. But she was typically gracious.

To one red-faced apology Sharp answered, “You know Chris, I’m just not that fancy.” And that was it exactly! I’d been sold on an illusion and like so many costumers before me I wanted to outfit Ann Sharp in sequins and drape her in gewgaws!  Or at least a few ornamental characters.

Technically speaking, Sharp qualified for the diva-club discount at area groceries. She earned the distinction on merit with bonus points for looking great in feathers and appearing in more versions of The Matchmaker/Hello Dolly than anybody this side of Carol Channing. But the d-word never really fit Sharp, who could flip from earthy to elegant at will and was as at home in flashy Broadway-style musicals as she was in edgy little comedies. She approached her work humbly, always laboring under the belief that it was an honor to stand on the stage, in the spotlight, speaking the great words and singing the great songs.

When Sharp took her final bow, Memphis didn’t lose a great singer. It didn’t lose a great actor. We lost a great person who happened to be all those other things also, and more.

Like Memphis Theatre patriarch Bennett Wood said in a speech, on the night of the 2012 Ostrander Awards, when Sharp and her frequent co-star and friend Jude Knight were co-awarded the Eugart Yerian Award for Lifetime Achievement in Memphis Theatre, “Any young actor working with [Ann] learns it takes more than talent. It takes humanity. It takes generosity of spirit. It takes soul to be a great performer.”

As a young actor who shared stage time with Sharp in a 1987 production of Tom Stoppard’s On the Razzle (yet another version of The Matchmaker ), I can personally attest to Wood’s understatement here.

From The King and I at Theatre Memphis.

Sharp’s half-century on area stages began when she relocated from Covington, La., to attend Southwestern at Memphis (now Rhodes College). Her lengthy and varied resume includes many great musical theatre roles: Mrs. Lovett in Sweeney Todd, Anna in The King and I, Marian the Librarian in The Music Man, and— of course— Dolly Levi. Comedy, tragedy, absurdity: Sharp could do it all. Dramatic credits include star turns in shows like Shakespeare’s Hamlet, the Edward Albee classic A Delicate Balance, and contemporary comedy Rapture Blister Burn.

I’ve checked and re-checked to make sure Sharp’s name is spelled correctly throughout this post even though I know she wouldn’t hold it against me if I added an extra “e” here or there. She really wasn’t fancy. She really was fabulous.

A memorial will be held at 1:30 p.m. on Saturday, July 7th at Seabrook Hall, Christ United Methodist Church, 4488 Poplar Avenue, Memphis.

A Memorial Service Has Been Scheduled for Beloved Actor, Singer Ann Sharp

Categories
Beyond the Arc Sports

The 2018 NBA Draft and Creeping Dread

The Grizzlies have their best draft pick in a decade in a draft that’s loaded with talent. So why am I not excited about it?

Why can’t I allow myself to consider what bright, young talent they might acquire on Thursday night that could make the team better for years to come? What’s with the foreboding, the awful sense that if I allow myself even the slightest bit of hope about the Grizzlies’ future I’m subjecting myself to some sort of weird, emotional sadomasochism because I should know better?

We’ve been here before, as Grizzly-watchers. In 2008, when they traded Kevin Love for O.J. Mayo on draft night and after a season it looked like a massive miscalculation. In 2009, when the Grizzlies made what might be, very literally, the worst #2 pick in the history of the draft given what the rest of the 2009 class looked like. In 2010, 2011, 2012, when guys like Sam Young, and DeMarre Carroll, and Josh Selby rolled in without any idea how to play professional basketball and left in the same shape. (Maybe that’s a little unfair to Sam Young, but “most surprisingly decent bad first round Grizzlies pick” is not a category to which I’d want to belong, except for all that guaranteed salary.) There’s such a long and disastrous run of first-round picks back there, behind all those locked doors and “but the playoffs” arguments, that it’s hard to look at the current situation without the trepidation that Oh no, I have seen this situation unfold before, and I need to prepare for the worst.

Larry Kuzniewski

Remember Jamaal Franklin?

The basic problem can be stated pretty succinctly: there are three players that seem like sure things in this draft, but the Grizzlies have the fourth pick. If any one of Deandre Ayton, Luka Doncic, or Marvin Bagley, Jr. fall to the Grizzlies, which seems possible but not likely, they can just pick whichever one makes it to fourth and no matter what happens, it’ll be very hard to call their draft a failure. (I have some pretty serious reservations about Bagley on the defensive end, to the point that I’d rather they not take him even if he falls to them at 4th, but I can’t deny that if they do take him there, it’s still a successful draft.)

That means that the Grizzlies, more than likely, will have to make a decision about a player to draft fourth, and making decisions about players is not something I trust them to do with a fourth-round pick. It hasn’t been long enough since their last stretch of bad picks, and Chris Wallace’s name is still attached to the franchise’s basketball operations.

You can write this off by saying “Chris Makris is a rising star in the front office and has a ton of influence.” You can write this off by saying “Hollinger runs the drafting process.” You can write this off by saying “they’ve made great moves on the fringes the last couple of years.”

These are all things that have been said on the internet in the last two weeks (and seriously, how is it you people have something to say about this every day for two weeks? I got tired just trying to read it all). But they all reinforce something that keeps coming up in the Robert-Pera-era of the Grizzlies: their internal decision-making structure remains opaque to the outside observer, no matter how much they insist that their chains of command are cut-and-dried. If Chris Wallace’s name is still next to “General Manager, Basketball Operations” in the staff directory—and it is, I just looked—I will not be able to put 2009 out of my mind.

Things are different, sure. The Griz have young players of various levels of promise, though none as good as what could be coming their way in this draft. But the warning signs are there: an owner and a GM and a coach who have all said they would have been good last year if not for injuries (debatable) and that they expect to make the playoffs this upcoming season (a risky public proclamation). Rumors swirling that they’d like to move their No. 4 pick and Chandler Parsons’ massive, concrete-shoes contract for the right pick that still keeps them in the lottery but lets them compete immediately. Two max-contract, oft-injured major players over 30 who don’t have time to waste on bad teams and have publicly expressed disinterest in doing so. If the Grizzlies want to keep doing what they’ve been doing since the earliest days of the Grit and Grind Era, when they shipped off a first round pick to dump Thabeet and rent Shane Battier for the playoffs, there’s nothing to stop them from doing it again, with the only high-lottery pick they’ve had since then, taking out a third mortgage on a house with a cracked foundation and a leak in the roof.

I used to buy and sell a bunch of guitars. I was a guitar guy. And part of doing that is paying $600 for a new guitar and finding it’s only worth $350 when you go to trade it in, but the guitar you want is $500, so you chip in $150 cash with the $600 guitar you’ve only played at a couple of gigs and suddenly you’re $250 upside down on a guitar before you go trade it in for something else. Eventually you end up with about $1500 of real money in an early-70’s Japanese bolt-on SG copy so weird and unplayable that it’ll sit in your attic for a year before you even remember it’s up there.

Grizzlies GM Chris Wallace.

The Grizzlies are here. They’ve traded in their trade-ins so many times that there’s no real accounting for how far behind they are, and yet now that they’ve got a real asset, a No. 4 pick in a loaded draft, they’re only looking at the Gretsch Double Anniversary—not even a Country Gentleman, mind you—on the wall and thinking maybe if I trade in a couple more things…

I’ve been there. I know the pull. It’s the reason gambling hotlines exist, the reason people persist in bad habits long after they’ve decided not to, it’s the reason people keep sinking money into cars that are worth less than a nice bookshelf from IKEA. Maybe if we trade in a couple things we could upgrade.

It’s obvious that they shouldn’t. It’s obvious that with Conley and Gasol (and Parsons, who at 29 is now limited to playing like the imagined 35-year-old, non-injured version of himself) under contract for two more years, they can either try to be good the next two years and plan for a quick reload when those contracts are over, or they can tear the thing down to the studs, so to speak, and call in an architect.

And so, try as I might, I am not optimistic about Thursday night. Call me constitutionally misaligned with draft-night optimism. I haven’t even talked about Michael Porter, Jr. and the fact that they might draft a guy with an even more alarming injury than Chandler Parsons’ with the best pick they’ve had in years, and that given their injury history since 2014-15, there’s no way they should even be allowed to speak his name at any point during the 24-hour period surrounding the first pick Thursday night. I haven’t talked about the constant chatter about trading down from 4. I haven’t talked about the fact that Mo Bamba explicitly informed the Grizzlies he wasn’t interested in playing here. Those are all just secondary factors compounding my unease headed into Thursday night.

The simple fact of the matter is that I have no reason to trust that the Grizzlies will do the right thing, and several reasons to believe that they’ll either mortgage their future for a stab at making the 7th seed in 2018-19 or, worse, blow the draft entirely and pick someone who’ll be out of the league once his rookie deal is up. They have to prove to me that something is different before I’ll change how I feel about it. They have to show me that, regardless of how transparent or not the process is, they have a process and it works. They have to show me that I shouldn’t expect the worst, because until that point, that’s the only sane response.

Categories
Letter From The Editor Opinion

Number 47

Let me introduce you to Number 47. He’s the six-year-old boy pictured above. Some people claim he’s being held in a cage-like facility by DHS agents in Texas. Others believe conservative pundits Ann Coulter and Laura Ingraham, who say he’s a “child actor” who’s living in a “summer camp.”

If they’re right, I just have to say, What a talent! I mean, look at him. You’d think he is a sad and confused and lost little boy. But, apparently, he’s so good in his role, he can convince all of us bleeding-heart liberals that he really doesn’t have any idea where he is or where his parents are. If you didn’t know he was an actor, you could almost believe he is terrified and in a state of shock, and suffering a psychological trauma that may affect him for the rest of his life.

It’s a good thing his wardens, er, camp counselors, aren’t allowed to hug or comfort him or any of the other child actors in their custody. Otherwise, this kid might blow their cover.

How the bloody hell did we come to this? How did we get to a place as a country where the president and his administration’s spokes-toadies, a major television news network, and millions of seemingly sentient Americans are defending taking kids away from their parents for the misdemeanor crime of illegal entry into the U.S?

How did we get to a place where we are literally tearing families apart for an offense that is punishable by, at most, a $250 fine or six months in jail? Why are we putting babies, children in diapers, and pre-teens in prison because their parents committed the sin of taking the verse at the foot of the Statue of Liberty seriously?

Even more horrific and indefensible, many of these families committed no crime whatsoever; they appeared at a border crossing and asked for asylum. We are sending poor and struggling people home to Guatemala, Honduras, and El Salvador without their children — and in most cases, without even the knowledge of where their children are.

These aren’t gang members. These are families fleeing gangs. These aren’t rapists. These are women who are fleeing rapists and the culturally ingrained misogyny of their Central American home countries. These aren’t crooks and thieves. They are people seeking to build a new life. These are the poor and huddled masses yearning to breathe free. So, let’s destroy their lives. That’ll show ’em.

It is wrong. It is sick. It is racist. It is un-Christian. I would say it’s unAmerican, but I’m beginning to believe that it’s not.

If another country split American families within their borders and imprisoned 2,000 American children because their parents committed a minor crime, we’d launch an invasion. Pictures of little tow-headed American kids in captivity would be all over Fox News. But terrified little brown kids in cages in Texas? Not so much.

I hear the Trumpists say that people who commit crimes get separated from their kids every day in America. That’s such a stupid analogy. In America, if you commit a crime — let’s say a misdemeanor, such as speeding — you get arrested and you get a court date. If, for some reason, you think you might go to jail, you make arrangements for someone to care for your children. If you go to jail, yes, you are separated from your children, but at least you know where they are.

We are taking children — as young as five months old — from their parents and putting them in prison-like camps. They don’t know where their parents are. Their parents don’t know where they are. Nobody knows how long the situation will last or if they will see each other again.

Why are we debasing ourselves and our “family values” in this way? Because the Trump administration purposefully instigated this policy. It is not a “law” created by Democrats, no matter how many times that lie is spewed by the president. It is a policy decision designed to provoke outrage and get Congress to fund Trump’s ridiculous wall. You know, the one that Mexico was going to pay for.

The children are hostages. The wall is the ransom.

Unless, of course, you believe Number 47 and the other 2,000 children in American detention camps are actors. In which case, you are beyond hope. In which case, maybe we all are.