Month: August 2018

Categories
Film/TV Film/TV/Etc. Blog

This Week At The Cinema: Loving Vincent and Steel Magnolias

Loving Vincent

Tuesday, August 7th at the Malco Ridgeway Cinema Grille, one of the most unusual animated films of all times screens. Loving Vincent was a nominee for the 2018 Best Animated Feature Academy Award. Billed as the “first fully painted feature film,” the European production helmed by Dorota Kobila and Hugh Welchman is a full animation done entirely in oil paintings in the style of its subject, Vincent Van Gogh. Even those unfamiliar with the labor intensive process of creating an animated film can appreciate what a staggering achievement this represents: More than 65,000 individual frames were painted by a team of more than 120 artists scattered over 20 countries. The fact that they not only completed this massive project, but that it is actually a really interesting film that combines a character study of the great painter with a detective story inquiring about the mysterious circumstances surrounding his death makes this film nothing short of a miracle. Tix available at the Indie Memphis website.

This Week At The Cinema: Loving Vincent and Steel Magnolias (2)

On Wednesday, in case you missed it last Sunday, The Big Lebowski 20th Anniversary screening repeats. Witness one of the great character introductions in cinematic history:

This Week At The Cinema: Loving Vincent and Steel Magnolias (4)

On Thursday, August 9th at 5:30, big bands come to the Paradiso. And when I say big, I mean enormous. The Drum Corps International (DCI) Championships are the most prestigious event in the marching band world. The event, which brings together 15 of the world’s biggest and best groups, will be broadcast live from the Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis, Indiana. If you’re like me, and completely tired of filmmakers who can only think to use the incredible surround sound systems in theaters to make dramatic fart noises (thanks, Inception), hearing these talented musicians leave it all on the field will be sweet.

This Week At The Cinema: Loving Vincent and Steel Magnolias (3)

Friday night, August 10th at the Orpheum Theatre, Sally Field, Dolly Parton, Shirley MacLaine, Daryl Hannah, Olympia Dukakis, and Julia Roberts star in Steel Magnolias. Get your girl gang together and prepare for wine and weeping.
 

This Week At The Cinema: Loving Vincent and Steel Magnolias (5)

On Saturday at the Pink Palace, Memphis takes a starring role in America’s Musical Journey. The 3D film showing in the museum IMAX theater traces America’s history through our music and the people who make it. Mississippian Morgan Freeman narrates.

This Week At The Cinema: Loving Vincent and Steel Magnolias

See you at the cinema! 

Categories
Film/TV Film/TV/Etc. Blog

Music Video Monday: Faux Killas

Music Video Monday is on film!

To create their video for the Faux Killas’ “Do What You Gotta Do” video, Jason Leigh and Reed Mitchell decided to go back to the future and shoot on 16mm film. Compared to digital video, film is a complex and uncertain process, but the results Leigh and Mitchell get with both color, as when they’re shooting dancer Ashley Volner, and black and white, as when they’re shooting Jeremiah Jones, Jason Rice, Sam Shansky, and fresh Faux Killa Seth Moody, are spectacular.

Leigh and Mitchell are members of The Artist Commons, a new grassroots arts organization whose goal it is to help “ignite local creative minds”. Faux Killas’ latest album Chiquita is available on Bandcamp, Spotify, Amazon, and Apple Music.

Music Video Monday: Faux Killas

If you would like to see your music video on Music Video Monday, email cmccoy@memphisflyer.com

Categories
Film/TV Film/TV/Etc. Blog

Kevin Brooks Wins Memphis Film Prize

CREDIT: Courtesy Memphis Film Prize

Memphis director Kevin Brooks has won the 2018 Memphis Film Prize with his short film “Last Day”.
Courtesy Memphis Film Prize

Kevin Brooks (third from left) accepts the Memphis Film Prize he won for his short ‘Last Day’. From the left is Film Prize Filmmaker’s liaison David Merrill, ‘Last Day’ star Ricky D. Smith, Brooks, and Louisiana Film Prize founder Gregory Kallenberg.

Friday and Saturday, the Memphis Film Prize attracted sold-out audiences to Malco Studio on the Square for a program of 10 short films by Memphis filmmakers. Organizers said that, when the attendance was tallied, they were expecting record crowds.

Brooks prevailed in a strong field with his story of an innocent man (played by Ricky D. Smith) facing a criminal trial that he expects to lose. He spends the morning with his wife (Rosalin Ross) and young daughter, who has a school talent show that evening.

Brooks, a prolific director, has previously won awards at Indie Memphis, and was the recipient of a Sundance fellowship. He is also the Memphis Film and Television Commission’s youngest-ever board member. The cash component in the Memphis Film Prize award is $10,000. 

Categories
From My Seat Sports

Can Redbirds Weather Cardinals’ Transition Storm?

In May 2013, Sports Illustrated published an issue with five St. Louis Cardinals — all starting pitchers — on the cover. Above the iconic magazine’s logo was a simple banner: “The Cardinal Way.” The Cardinals were on their way to a second National League pennant in three years and the third of five straight playoff appearances. The story summarized the franchise’s distinctive ability to build strong teams through drafting well, developing smartly, and executing fundamental baseball to the highest standard on the major-league level.

Cut to the present, and “the Cardinal Way” has become a brand of baseball from which those with a weak stomach must turn away. The Cardinals — winners of more Gold Gloves than any other National League franchise — have committed the most errors in the Senior Circuit. They are near the bottom of the NL in stolen bases, doubles, and triples, the kind of acts on a baseball field that energize a crowd, that demoralize (and more often than not, beat) an opponent. They have a quartet of pitchers on the disabled list — Adam Wainwright, Michael Wacha, Carlos Martinez, and Alex Reyes — that would make one of the sport’s finest rotations if healthy and taking the mound four out of five games.

At last week’s trade deadline, St. Louis parted ways with two of the system’s best athletes, both centerfielders. After receiving MVP votes after the 2017 season, Tommy Pham was sent to Tampa Bay for three minor-league prospects. A few hours later, Oscar Mercado was shipped to Cleveland for two low-minors prospects. Mercado had been the Memphis Redbirds’ spark plug for four months, leading the Pacific Coast League in steals (31) while topping the first-place Redbirds in hits (109) and runs (73). Mercado seemed to personify what the current Cardinal roster is desperately missing: a player with speed who makes contact at the plate and plays strong defense at a premium position. He’ll now present that skill set in the Indians’ system.

The disarray in St. Louis has dramatically impacted the team Redbirds manager Stubby Clapp has at his disposal for the stretch run of the PCL season. A five-man rotation of Memphis pitchers — Jack Flaherty, Austin Gomber, John Grant, Daniel Poncedeleon, and Dakota Hudson — is now almost half the arsenal of arms called upon by interim Cardinal manager Mike Shildt. Slugger Tyler O’Neill (26 home runs for Memphis this season) is now platooning (with Harrison Bader) in centerfield for the Cardinals. St. Louis traded another Memphis slugger, Luke Voit, to the New York Yankees less than a month after Voit hit for the cycle in a game at Iowa.

For their first five games after the trade deadline, the Redbirds sent the following five men to the mound: Chris Ellis (his 10th start at the Triple-A level), Jake Woodford (6th), Austin Warner (2nd), Kevin Herget (27th!), and Connor Jones (2nd). Memphis somehow won three of the five games, and with no O’Neill, Mercado, or Voit in sight.


The Redbirds will get a chance to defend their PCL championship. Through Sunday’s action, they hold a 13.5-game lead in their division. The question: How much magic potion does Clapp have left in whatever bottle he hides in the bowels of AutoZone Park? The 2017 Redbirds raised a pennant despite 62 players arriving and departing the Memphis clubhouse. Consider this year two of the parent club trying to re-establish footing in a National League that seems to be leaving “the Cardinal Way” well behind. The guess here is that Clapp will be in a major-league clubhouse himself next spring, either as a coach or in the manager’s office. Can he deliver another trophy to the Cardinal system with the scraps left over by St. Louis management?

Sustained success in the daily grind of a baseball season is challenging with a club’s best players healthy and available. When you have to check the spelling of a player’s name on the back of his uniform? Good luck.

Categories
Music Music Blog

Erin Rae, On the Verge of Big Things, Plays the Music Mansion

Erin Rae

Erin Rae McKaskle now hails from Nashville, though she’s a Jackson, Tennessee native and was born in Memphis. Small wonder that she gravitated to Music City, given her easy and natural way with a tune. And small wonder that she’s now on the cusp  of much greater recognition. Her show at the Memphis Music Mansion may be our last chance to see her in such an intimate setting.

With so many singer/songwriters unconsciously internalizing the vocal mannerisms of the time, morphing their voices into a common denominator of the current trends (can you say “vocal fry”?), Erin Rae presents a disarming, unaffected frankness, and that is her greatest strength. The final product, as on her recent album Putting On Airs (Single Lock Records), is light and breezy, yet cut with the gravitas of her plainspoken lyrics and delivery.

“Love Like Before” reads like a prosaic list of the features of a new apartment, but suggests an inner turmoil and longing beneath the low key observations. The kicker comes at the end, “Been sitting right here and I could not find/Love that I knew before,” made all the more powerful by the unadorned lyrics preceding it.

The new album, recorded at Refuge Studios, a former monastery in Wisconsin, offers plenty of air. The spare adornments, such as tasteful pedal steel, piano, organ, or even Mellotron, never detract from the front-and-center acoustic guitar that grounds her voice, yet add a dreamy quality to the affair. You can hear the consummate blend on the official video for “June Bug”:

Erin Rae, On the Verge of Big Things, Plays the Music Mansion

Her band will be with her, giving listeners a chance to hear those ethereal, spot-on arrangements from the record come to life. For those chasing that perfect blend of sincerity and craftsmanship, this show is not to be missed.  

Categories
Politics Politics Beat Blog

The Schledwitz Letter Accurately Forecasts the August 2nd Election

Local businessman Karl Schledwitz, whose involvement in politics goes back decades, makes a habit of predicting election results in a letter to his email network on or immediately before Election Day. Below is the letter he dispatched in advance of the August 2nd vote. Readers are invited to compare Schledwitz’s forecast to the actual results.

“More than 20 years ago, the Shelby County Republican Party led

Karl Shledwitz

the effort to convert countywide elections in Shelby County from nonpartisan to partisan. Many political observers then predicted that it was just a matter of time until the demographics of Shelby County gave the Democrats a major advantage during elections. I predict that this is the year — 2018 — when the Democrats finally prevail.

“The reality is the demographics should have prevailed for Democrats in 2010 and 2014 but Republicans still won for a variety of reasons referenced below. My prediction is that Democrats will overwhelmingly prevail in 2018.

“This year through early voting, Republicans have not only lost their advantage in turnout but are now at a disadvantage. I attribute that to several factors. There was not a local candidate in the statewide gubernatorial or senatorial campaigns and the Republican gubernatorial primary was so negative and nasty that it confused many loyal Republican voters, causing many Republicans tired of negative campaigning to stay home.

“In the countywide general election, none of the candidates were incumbents, few had ever run countywide and overall the campaigns were not inspiring. Thus, Republican turnout was far less than what it has been in the past. Contrast that with the Democratic side. For the first time in well over a decade, Democrats had statewide Democratic candidates spending hundreds of thousands of dollars collectively in Shelby County. Former governor Phil Bredesen, now a candidate for the U.S. Senate, spent several hundred thousand dollars building a ground team in Shelby County — knocking on doors, making phone calls, digital and social media campaigns, paying for rallies, particularly in preparation for the November senate election. Additionally, Craig Fitzhugh spent several hundred thousand dollars primarily through African-American legislators and other operatives trying to build a margin in the African American community and Karl Dean spent even more making sure he didn’t get shut out in Shelby County.

“Combine that with the best local slate of candidates that the Democrats have had in a long time, many of whom had money even greater than their Republican opponents and the Democratic turnout exceeded past elections. Through early voting, it was 61.3 percent Democrats to 38.7 percent Republican. With early voting typically representing 50-55% of the total vote, it is hard to imagine that election day can change that trajectory. The local candidates on the Democratic side were better financed than in the past. For example, the Democratic mayoral candidate in 2014 and all of the other candidates for the open seats collectively spent under $200,000. This year, Lee Harris spent almost $400,000, Floyd Bonner for Sheriff spent over $250,000, Burgess for Assessor and Regina Newman for Trustee and Morrison for Clerk, each spent over $50,000. The Democrats had a much more diverse slate whereas the Republicans defeated the only two African American candidates in their primary and ended with 9 white males and 1 female, most of whom lived outside the city limits. The contrast was real.

“Prediction. Republicans will get no more than 7-15% max of the African-American vote. This is compared to Republican candidates in the past like Luttrell, Gibbons, and others getting 30-35%. Democratic candidates will also get 30-35% of the white vote, which is more than double what they have in the past. With the turnout between white voters and African-American voters essentially being equal, the results I am predicting are a big sweep for the Democrats. Of the ten county elected offices, I predict the Democrats will win no less than 7 offices, and possibly more. Of the 13 county commissioner seats which are presently split 7 D’s to 6 R’s, I predict that the midtown seat will switch, creating an 8-5 Democratic advantage and an outside shot at going to 9-4. Overall, I think Floyd Bonner may be the top vote getter. Regardless, I believe that he and Lee Harris will win by a minimum of 15 points and very possibly, depending on election day turnout, closer to 20 plus .

“Prediction. If these results hold up, Republicans will have a hard time recruiting county-wide candidates four years from now because they will not have the benefit of incumbency and they will not likely have the benefit of an open gubernatorial election, and the demographics continue to point toward increased Democratic advantage. Although Trump carried this state by 26 points, he lost Shelby County by 26 points. I believe the Trump factor this year was more relevant than people realize. The African-American community was much more resistant to vote for anybody with an ‘R’ in front of their name because of Trump and many white voters fell in that category as well.”

Categories
Film/TV Film/TV/Etc. Blog

This Week At The Cinema: Little Girls and The Big Lebowski

Laia Artigas as Frida in Summer 1993

Tuesday night at Studio on the Square, an acclaimed film from Spanish director Carla Simón, Summer 1993 tells the story of six-yea-old Frida (Laia Artigas), a young girl from Barcelona whose parents die unexpectedly. The little city girl must move to live with her aunt and uncle, and her first summer in the country makes for a memorable movie experience. Showtime is 7:00 PM, and tickets are on sale at the Indie Memphis website.

This Week At The Cinema: Little Girls and The Big Lebowski

Across town, the Paradiso will screen Julie Traymor’s cult musical Across The Universe. The 2007 film is essentially an experimental film set to the music of The Beatles starring Evan Rachel Woods as Lucy, title character from John Lennon’s immortal Sgt. Pepper’s song.

This Week At The Cinema: Little Girls and The Big Lebowski (2)

Wednesday night at Crosstown Arts, Indie Memphis Microcinema teams up with Film Fatales to bring a program of shorts made by women. One of the nine films screening at 7:30 is Camilla Hall’s An Everyday Problem, a documentary/narrative hybrid tackling the issue of gun violence by focusing on the experience of students in one Los Angeles high school.

Still from ‘An Everyday Problem’

Thursday night at the Memphis Jewish Community Center, the film that swept last year’s Indie Memphis Hometowner awards, Good Grief, will screen in an encore presentation. The film by directors Melissa Anderson Sweazy and Laura Jean Hocking delves into the lives of kids who are being treated by the Kemmons Wilson Center for Good Grief in Collierville. You can get tickets to the 7 PM screening on the MJCC website.

This Week At The Cinema: Little Girls and The Big Lebowski (4)

And, finally, on Sunday, The Big Lebowski. The Cohen Brothers comedy classic contains career-high performances from legends Jeff Bridges, John Goodman, and Steve Buschemi. The goofy film noir parody that became a lifestyle is being feted on its 20th anniversary by Tuner Classic Movies with a 2 p.m. screening at the Paradiso. Expect a full house of Achievers. Here’s the original 1998 trailer, which only hints at the greatness within.

This Week At The Cinema: Little Girls and The Big Lebowski (3)

See you at the movies! 

Categories
News News Blog

Election Results: Harris, Dean, Blackburn, Lee, Bredesen, Kustoff, Cohen Win

CREDIT: Ward Archer

Ward Archer

County mayor victor, Lee Harris, talks with reporters at his victory party.

Yes, Virginia, there was a blue wave in Shelby County, Tennessee — at least it appeared so when all the votes were counted for the August 2nd election, which included a county general election, primaries for state and federal offices, and isolated other ballot matters. From Mayor-elect Lee Harris on down the ballot, Democrats swept all the races for county offices, and even picked up an extra seat on the County Commission, giving their party an 8 to 5 majority going into the next four years.

Though Diane Black barely carried Shelby county in the Republican primary race for governor, the winner statewide was Franklin businessman Bill Lee, with former state Economic Development Commissioner Randy Boyd finishing second, Black finishing third, and state House Speaker Beth Harwell coming in fourth.

The Democratic gubernatorial primary was won, in Shelby County and statewide, by former Nashville Mayor Karl Dean over state House Democratic Leader Craig Fitzhugh of Ripley. Former Governor Phil Bredesen and 7th district Congresswoman Marsha Blackburn easily won nominations for U.S. senator in the Democratic and Republican primaries, respectively.

U.S. Reps. Steve Cohen (D) and David Kustoff (R) handily won their primary races for reelection, Kustoff having to head off a well-funded intra-party challenge from perennial candidate George Flinn. Cohen will oppose Republican Charlotte Bergman in the fall, while Kustoff’s opponent will be Erika Stotts Pearson, who edged out John Boatner Jr. in the Democratic primary.

The other news of the night was that, not for the first time, a glitch of some sort at the Shelby County Election Commission marred reporting of the results. A sizeable crowd had gathered early on in The Columns downtown (the old Union Planters headquarters building) hoping to cheer a victory for county mayor by the Democratic nominee Lee Harris, but was frustrated for nearly two hours after the polls closed without seeing any results.

When the numbers finally came in, though, there was tumult among the well-wishers in the large room, followed, moments later, by the happy mayor-elect himself. Harris addressed the crowd from a stage that came to include, besides family and campaign staff, 9th District Congressman Steve Cohen and former Mayor A C Wharton.

A gracious Harris extended thanks to one and all and even asked for some appreciative applause for his vanquished Republican foe, County Trustee David Lenoir.

Final vote for Mayor, with all 166 precincts reporting, was Harris, 84,956; Lenoir, 68,491.

Chief Deputy Floyd Bonner, running as a Democrat for Sheriff, solidly beat local Homeland Security director Dale Lane, running as a Republican. Vote was 91,370 to 60,433, giving Bonner the election’s highest total number of votes.

Other county results:

Assessor of Property— Melvin Burgess (D), 81, 815: Robert “Chip” Trouy, 61,707; Katherine Culverhaus (I), 614.

County Trustee— Regina Morrison Newman (D), 84,712; George Barnes Chism, 62,194.

Circuit Court Clerk — Democrat Temiika Gipson over Republican Tom Leatherwood, 81,573 to 68,806.

Criminal Court Clerk — Democrat Heidi Kuhn, 85,492; Republican Richard De Saussure, 60,917.

Juvenile Court Clerk — Janis Fullilove (D), 75,031; Bobby Simmons 74,030.

Probate Court Clerk — Bill Morrison (D), 81,057; Chris Thomas ( R), 61,862; Jennings Bernard (I), 6,333.

County Clerk — Wanda Halbert (D), 86,327; Donna Creson ( R), 63,017.

Register of Deeds — Shelandra Ford (D), 75,260; Wayne Mashburn R), 70, 575

Other notable results:

SHELBY COUNTY COMMISSION: Democrat Michael Whaley’s victory in County Commission District 5, over Republican Richard Morton, increased the existing Democratic majority by one, to 8 to 5. Other winners: Republican Amber Mills over Democrat Racquel Collins, District 1; Republican David Bradford over Democrat Tom Carpenter, District 2; Republican Mick Wright over Democrat Monica Timmerman, District 3; Republican Mark Billingsley over Democrat Kevin Haley, District 4; Democrat Willie Brooks, District 6; Democrat Tami Sawyer over Republican Sam Goff, District 7; Democrat Mickell Lowery, District 8; Democrat Edmund Ford Jr. over Republican Sharon Webb, District 9; Democrat Reginald Milton over independent Vontyna Durham, District 10; Democrat Eddie Jones, District 11; Democrat Van Turner, District 12; Republican Brandon Morrison over Democrat George Monger, District 13.

In closely-watched legislative races:
Democratic challenger Katrina Robinson ousted incumbent Democrat Reginald Tate in state Senate District 33.

State Rep. Raumesh Akbari defeated County Commissioner Justin Ford in the Democratic primary in state Senate District 29 and will oppose Republican Tom Stephens in November.

Gabby Salinas defeated David Weatherspoon in the Democratic primary for state Senate District 31 and will compete against incumbent Republican Brian Kelsey in the fall.

Incumbent Republican Mark White defeated challenger Doyle Silliman in the GOP primary for state House District 83.

Scott McCormick defeated Patricia Possel in the GOP primary for state House District 96 and will oppose incumbent Democrat Dwayne Thompson in November.

Jesse Chism won out over fellow Democrats Ricky Dixon and Lynette Williams in state House District 85.

Incumbent Democrat Barbara Cooper defeated Amber Huett-Garcia and Jesse Jeff in state House District 86.

Incumbent John DeBerry defeated challenger Torrey Harris in the Democratic primary for House District 90.

London Lamar beat fellow Democrats Doris DeBerry Bradshaw and Juliette Eskridge in the Democratic primary for House District 91.

Incumbent Democrat G.A. Hardaway turned back challenger Eddie Neal in House District 93.

Incumbent Antonio Parkinson beat Johnnie Hatten in the Democratic primary for House District 98.

JUDICIAL RACES:

Circuit Court, Division 7: Incumbent Mary Wagner over Michael Floyd.

Circuit Court, Division 9: Yolanda Kight over incumbent David Rudolph.

Criminal Court, Division 10: Jennifer J. Mitchell over incumbent Jennifer S. Nicho
Environmental Court, Division 14: Incumbent Patrick Dandridge over Price Harris.

SCHOOL BOARD RACES:

Shelby County Schools Board, District 1: Michelle McKissack over incumbent Chris Caldwell, Michael Scruggs, and Kate Ayers;

Shelby County Schools, District 6: Incumbent Shante Avant over Percy Hunter, Minnie Hunter, and R.S. Ford;

Shelby County Schools, District 8: Incumbent William Orgel over Jerry Cunninghan;

Shelby County Schools, District 9: Joyce Dorse-Coleman over incumbent Mike Kernell, Alvin Crook, Rhonnie Brewer, and Kori Hamner.

SPECIAL ELECTION, MEMPHIS CITY COUNCIL, SUPER DISTRICT 9, POSITION 2: Interim incumbent J. Ford Canale over Lisa Moore, Charley Burch, Erika Sugarmon, Tim Ware, David Franklin, and Tyrone R. Franklin.

Complete election results and vote totals from the Shelby County Election Commission.

Categories
Fly On The Wall Blog Opinion

Shirtless Man Celebrates 20 Years of NGAF

Stay shirtless, my friends.

What are you looking at? Never mind, I know. You’re looking at me. And, with a lusciously lumpy dad-bod like this one, why wouldn’t you be? Besides, that was the whole point of this Shirtless Man fiasco, wasn’t it? To be seen? To make my pale flab stand out, establishing the lean, muscular soul beneath it all — the fearless manufacturer of creative nonfiction? Truth be told, I was scared to death. Twenty years later, photographic evidence of my skinful romp across the pages of the 1998 Memphis Flyer’s “summer issue” still fills this considerable gut with butterflies.

Angry vampire butterflies zooming on meth.

What were we thinking? There was no real precedent for stunts like this. There was no Sacha Baron Cohen out on the road, erasing the boundaries between reality and satire. The Daily Show wouldn’t launch for another year. But there I was, finally discovering an application for my weird Theatre & Media Arts degree, standing in the offices of The Commercial Appeal, applying for a writing job, as shirtless as the day I was born.

“Why?,” you might ask. I certainly have, many times. After all these years the best answer I’ve come up with is also a question: “Why do people jump out of airplanes?”

In 1998, I toiled most days in a windowless room in the Flyer‘s old offices on Tennessee St., cold-calling potential classified advertising customers. I’d only just begun to do a little freelance writing on the side and was certain that nobody would be interested in this cockamamie idea I’d cooked up with my friend and and fellow wannabe writer
Jim Hanas. I can still remember the confused look on Flyer editor Dennis Freeland’s face as he repeated the original pitch back to me.

“So you just take your shirt off and go out and do things?” he asked, blinking doubtfully. Like his eyes might be undressing me against their will. “What kinds of things?”

“Oh, you know,” I answered, making things up on the fly because I honestly hadn’t thought that far ahead yet. “Test drive cars, apply for a loan, try to get a job, buy a shirt, go to a topless club.” Next thing I knew, I was on assignment and negotiating with a security guard at the Peabody Rooftop Party.

“You need to put a shirt on, sir,” [the guard] says, sidling up to me.

“But I thought this was a party.”

“It is a party, sir, but you need to put a shirt on.”

“What kind of party is that?”

“It’s a private party open to the public for a $5 cover charge.”

“And I have to wear a shirt?”

“We prefer it.”

“So I don’t have to wear a shirt if I don’t want to?”

“You need to put a shirt on, sir.”

“But look at this sunburn I have here. Terribly painful. OWWWWWWWW! Jesus that hurts to touch it.”

“I know how painful that can be, but you need to wear a shirt.”

“Do I have to button it?”

“No.”

“Can I just wear a vest?”

“You can just wear a vest.”

“Do I have to button that?”

“No.”

It was really just one shirtless fat guy. Mother was so proud.

The original shirtless package spawned two sequels. Because I don’t know how to relax I turned my honeymoon into a working getaway, and wrote about the big boy’s swinging European vacation for the Flyer. The whole original adventure was recreated in a multi-page spread for a popular women’s magazine for men. Rose McGowan was Maxim‘s cover girl for March 1999, but I was the hot topless attraction inside.

A paraphrased but very close to accurate note from my Maxim editor: “Can you give us the same story but take out the philosophy?”

Real v Fake

I couldn’t. Which is to say I didn’t really know what that meant. So wrote the thing and instructed them to cut anything deemed too philosophical, which they did. They also manufactured a fictional origin story — In the Maxim version I’d become shirtless because gas splashed on my shirt while filling up my car. Hated that part because this was always supposed to be a true story. Right down to the scotch and chocolate milk. But the check cashed.

I might describe “Shirtless Man” as my “Freebird,” but, as it happens, I’ve also written exactly one song that people ask me to play over and over again.

I’m a two-hit wonder!

But Shirtless Man’s sordid tale of insecurity and sideboob, wrapped up in tragically fake machismo, has taken on a life of his own. A few years back he was reborn on social media when Memphis artist/photographer Jonathan Postal took a photo originally snapped in front of the Arc de Triomphe in Paris, and photoshopped it Zelig-like into historical scenes, alongside Abraham Lincoln, Bob Dylan, and Martin Luther King. Twenty years after the eye-assaulting fact — after filling a wall with awards for investigative reporting, disaster coverage, consumer affairs reporting, beat reporting, feature writing, criticism, and blogging — it’s a little weird that somebody always hollers out “Shirtless Man!” whenever I appear in any official capacity. Not that I’d prefer things any other way.
Dan Ball

Traumatizing entire families since 1998.

I hadn’t realized it was my shirtless anniversary until primo photographer Dan Ball posted a previously unpublished photo from the original adventure to his Facebook page. It’s a great shot, considering the subject matter. And much to my surprise, seeing in a public space didn’t induce the usual wincing shudder. In fact, I wanted to share it right away.

Maybe, after 20 years, I’m actually a little bit proud of that guy. 
Dan Ball

Also pictured, Workingman’s Sideboob.

 

Categories
Letter From The Editor Opinion

Blow Up the Vote!

Do you know about Uncle Rob? I didn’t until this week, when a friend sent me a link to one of his YouTube “instructional” videos. It was called “How to Listen to a Luke Bryan CD.”

It begins with Uncle Rob lighting his barbecue grill, then he demonstrates how to put beer in a cooler, then he shows you how to put a Luke Bryan CD in a portable player … then it gets weird.

“Then,” Uncle Rob says, “pour gasoline in a bucket. Then, drop your CD player in the bucket.” (At this point, I should point out that the CD player is plugged in to a power cord.) “Then,” Rob continues, standing 20 feet away, “plug it in.”

Then, (Rob says “then” a lot.) there is an immensely satisfying, fiery explosion, which is replayed in slo-mo a couple of times.

“Then,” Rob says, plopping down in a lawn chair, “crack open a beer and listen to Skynyrd, like a real man.”

Then, of course, I went down the Uncle Rob wormhole on YouTube, watching a dozen of his helpful videos — “How to Clean a Litter Box,” “How to Use a Weedeater,” “Hot to Cook Hotdogs,” “How to Tailgate,” “How to Fix a Jammed Printer,” etc.

It may come as no surprise to you at this point, that all of Uncle Rob’s videos involve fiery explosions with gasoline. I particularly liked “How to Clean a Litter Box.”

Then, I realized I’d never heard a Luke Bryan song (hey, it was a slow night), so I tubed my way over to his latest video, “Sunrise, Sunburn, Sunset.” It’s about as trite and awful as any piece of music I’ve ever heard. It involves young Luke getting hired to paint a lake house and the daughter of his employer showing up in “tank top and cut-off jeans.” After that, well, as the lyrics say, it’s just “sunrise, sunburn, sunset, repeat,” accompanied by visuals of pretty young white people cruising around in a boat and jumping in a lake. The melody is modern-Nashburg boilerplate; the lyrics are a bro-core Playboy fantasy.

But Uncle Rob and Luke Bryan both have millions of YouTube views, so they’ve figured out something about connecting with young people.

If only we had a way to connect with young people to convince them to vote. Yeah, that was a really clumsy segue, but I just saw the early voting numbers for Shelby County and they were really depressing. Not so much the totals, because Shelby County led the state in early voting, with 86,000 people participating in our democratic process. No, what was depressing was the fact that only around 10,000 people under 40 voted. More than 63,000 of Shelby’s early voters were over 50.

I get that many young folks are clueless about how to vote and where to vote — and why it matters. Our education and poverty levels have a lot to do with that. But there are tens of thousands of educated, non-poor people under 40 who just aren’t voting. And they don’t care because they don’t think voting makes any difference. They don’t care because they don’t think their lives have been directly affected by politicians and policy decisions. No one has taken away their health care — or they think they don’t need it. No one has taken their right to choose or their right to marry or their right to vote. No one has shot up their high school with an AR-15.

People get active in a democracy when they think issues directly affect them. Folks who were affected by Jim Crow and restrictive voting laws marched in the streets, voted, and changed our segregation laws. Young people affected by the draft in the Vietnam era marched in the streets, voted, and changed our draft laws — and got the country out of a pointless war.

What will it take to break this younger generation’s apathy toward the political process? I don’t know. Maybe Uncle Rob putting out a “How to Vote” video and blowing up a Diebold machine?