Categories
Fun Stuff News of the Weird

News of the Weird: Week of 08/03/23

Aquaman, Is That You?

A Florida scientist who calls himself “Dr. Deep Sea” resurfaced on June 9th … after spending 100 days underwater. CNN reported that Joseph Dituri, 55, a biomedical engineer who teaches at the University of South Florida, began his research mission on March 1st, when he dove to the bottom of the Emerald Lagoon in Key Largo, Florida. Dituri stayed in Jules’ Undersea Lodge, an underwater hotel, during his record-setting stint below the surface, and he hopes that the data gleaned from all that time underwater will help researchers understand the effects of compression on the human body. “My greatest hope is that I have inspired a new generation of explorers and researchers to push past all boundaries,” Dituri said in a news release. [CNN.com, 6/11/2023]

Time To Buy a Lottery Ticket

Ripleys.com (of “Believe It or Not!” fame) claims that orange lobsters are even more rare — to the tune of 1-in-30-million — than the blue variety. So one can imagine the surprise of Captain Peter Pray, a lobsterman working in Casco Bay near Portland, Maine, when he caught his third orange lobster in a week on June 15th. WGME-13 reported that Pray, who is one of the lobster suppliers for Harbor Fish Market, made his latest catch, a female, using the same trap with which he caught the others, which were male. A tweet from Harbor Fish Market asked the question on everyone’s mind: “What’s up Casco Bay? What kind of lobster magic is happening in your waters?” [WGME-13, 6/15/2023]

Awesome!

Visitors to the Rembrandt House Museum in Amsterdam can now bring home a new, and permanent, souvenir of their visit. The Associated Press reported that tattoo artist Henk Schiffmacher and others are doing a residency within the museum called “A Poor Man’s Rembrandt,” where tourists can get inked with sketches by the famous artist. Schiffmacher calls it “highbrow to lowbrow. And it’s great that these two worlds can visit one another.” The tattoos cost between $54 and $270. [AP, 6/19/2023]

Wait, What?

Employees of Taqueria Garibaldi restaurants in northern California got an unusual — and unorthodox — perk during work hours, USA Today reported. Employees testified in court that a person who identified as a priest was called in to hear workers’ “confessions.” “The priest urged workers to ‘get their sins out’ and asked if they had stolen from the employer, been late for work, had done anything to harm their employer, or if they had bad intentions toward their employer,” according to a release from the U.S. Department of Labor. But the Catholic Diocese of Sacramento said it could find no connection between the alleged priest and the diocese. An investigation found that the restaurants had denied overtime pay and threatened employees with retaliation, among other “sins,” and the owners were ordered to pay $140,000 in damages and back wages. [USA Today, 6/21/2023]

The Tech Revolution

In an office building in Durham, North Carolina, nine scientists are hard at work in Duke University’s Smart Toilet Lab, The News & Observer reported. Sonia Grego told the paper that she and her colleagues “are addressing a very serious health problem” — gut health. The toilets in the lab move poop into a specialized chamber before flushing it away. There, cameras are placed for image processing, and the resulting data can give doctors insights into a patient’s gut health. Startup Coprata is testing pilot versions of the smart toilets in a few dozen households; after the data is gathered, users can access it themselves on a smartphone app. “The knowledge of people’s bowel habits empowers individuals to make lifestyle choices that improve their gut health,” Grego said. [News & Observer, 6/15/2023]

Insult to Injury

Mark Dicara of Lake Barrington, Illinois, allegedly shot himself in the leg on June 12th while dreaming of a home invasion, Insider reported. Dicara grabbed his .357 Magnum and fired — which instantly brought him to consciousness. There was no intruder in the home. Police found him in bed with a “significant amount of blood.” He was charged with possession of a firearm without a valid Firearm Owners Identification card and reckless discharge of a firearm. [Insider, 6/15/2023]

News of the Weird is now a podcast on all major platforms! To find out more, visit newsoftheweirdpodcast.com.

NEWS OF THE WEIRD
© 2023 Andrews McMeel Syndication.
Reprinted with permission.
All rights reserved.

Categories
Astrology Fun Stuff

Free Will Astrology: Week of 08/03/23

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Emotions are not inconvenient distractions from reason and logic. They are key to the rigorous functioning of our rational minds. Neurologist Antonio Damasio proved this conclusively in his book Descartes’ Error: Emotion, Reason, and the Human Brain. The French philosopher’s famous formula — “I think, therefore I am” — offers an inadequate suggestion about how our intelligence works best. This is always true, but it will be especially crucial for you to keep in mind during the coming weeks. Here’s your mantra, courtesy of another French philosopher, Blaise Pascal: “The heart has its reasons, which reason does not know.”

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The famous Taurus TV star Jay Leno once did a good deed for me. I was driving my Honda Accord on a freeway in Los Angeles when he drove up beside me in his classic Lamborghini. Using hand signals, he conveyed to me the fact that my trunk was open, and stuff was flying out. I waved in a gesture of thanks and pulled over onto the shoulder. I found that two books and a sweater were missing, but my laptop and briefcase remained. Hooray for Jay! In that spirit, Taurus, and in accordance with current astrological omens, I invite you to go out of your way to help and support strangers and friends alike. I believe it will lead to unexpected benefits.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “Did you learn how to think or how to believe?” When my friend Amelie was 9 years old, her father teased her with this query upon her return home from a day at school. It was a pivotal moment in her life. She began to develop an eagerness to question all she was told and taught. She cultivated a rebellious curiosity that kept her in a chronic state of delighted fascination. Being bored became virtually impossible. The whole world was her classroom. Can you guess her sign? Gemini! I invite you to make her your role model in the coming weeks.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): In the coming weeks, I advise you not to wear garments like a transparent Gianfranco Ferre black mesh shirt with a faux tiger fur vest and a coral snake jacket that shimmers with bright harlequin hues. Why? Because you will have most success by being down-to-earth, straightforward, and in service to the fundamentals. I’m not implying you should be demure and reserved, however. On the contrary: I hope you will be bold and vivid as you present yourself with simple grace and lucid authenticity.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In 1811, Leo scientist Amedeo Avogadro (1776–1856) formulated a previously unknown principle about the properties of molecules. Unfortunately, his revolutionary idea wasn’t acknowledged and implemented until 1911, 100 years later. Today his well-proven theory is called Avogadro’s law. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, Leo, you will experience your equivalent of his 1911 event in the coming months. You will receive your proper due. Your potential contributions will no longer be mere potential. Congratulations in advance!

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Israeli poet Yona Wallach mourned the fact that her soul felt far too big for her, as if she were always wearing the clothes of a giant on her small body. I suspect you may be experiencing a comparable feeling right now, Virgo. If so, what can you do about it? The solution is NOT to shrink your soul. Instead, I hope you will expand your sense of who you are so your soul fits better. How might you do that? Here’s a suggestion to get you started: Spend time summoning memories from throughout your past. Watch the story of your life unfurl like a movie.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Nineteenth-century Libran physician James Salisbury had strong ideas about the proper ingredients of a healthy diet. Vegetables were toxic, he believed. He created Salisbury steak, a dish made of ground beef and onions, and advised everyone to eat it three times a day. Best to wash it down with copious amounts of hot water and coffee, he said. I bring his kooky ideas to your attention in hopes of inspiring you to purge all bunkum and nonsense from your life — not just in relation to health issues, but everything. It’s a favorable time to find out what’s genuinely good and true for you. Do the necessary research and investigation.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “I’m amazed that anyone gets along!” marvels self-help author SARK. She says it’s astonishing that love ever works at all, given our “idiosyncrasies, unconscious projections, re-stimulations from the past, and the relationship history of our partners.” I share her wonderment. On the other hand, I am optimistic about your chances to cultivate interesting intimacy during the coming months. From an astrological perspective, you are primed to be extra wise and lucky about togetherness. If you send out a big welcome for the lessons of affection, collaboration, and synergy, those lessons will come in abundance.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Please don’t make any of the following statements in the next three weeks: 1. “I took a shower with my clothes on.” 2. “I prefer to work on solving a trivial little problem rather than an interesting dilemma that means a lot to me.” 3. “I regard melancholy as a noble emotion that inspires my best work.” On the other hand, Sagittarius, I invite you to make declarations like the following: 1. “I will not run away from the prospect of greater intimacy — even if it’s scary to get closer to a person I care for.” 2. “I will have fun exploring the possibilities of achieving more liberty and justice for myself.” 3. “I will seek to learn interesting new truths about life from people who are unlike me.”

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Champions of the capitalist faith celebrate the fact that we consumers have over 100,000 brand names we can purchase. They say it’s proof of our marvelous freedom of choice. Here’s how I respond to their cheerleading: Yeah, I guess we should be glad we have the privilege of deciding which of 50 kinds of shampoo is best for us. But I also want to suggest that the profusion of these relatively inconsequential options may distract us from the fact that certain of our other choices are more limited. In the coming weeks, Capricorn, I invite you to ruminate about how you can expand your array of more important choices.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): My best friend in college was an Aquarius, as is my favorite cousin. Two ex-girlfriends are Aquarians, and so was my dad. The talented singer with whom I sang duets for years was an Aquarius. So I have intimate knowledge of the Aquarian nature. And in honor of your unbirthday — the time halfway between your last birthday and your next — I will tell you what I love most about you. No human is totally comfortable with change, but you are more so than others. To my delight, you are inclined to ignore the rule books and think differently. Is anyone better than you at coordinating your energies with a group’s? I don’t think so. And you’re eager to see the big picture, which means you’re less likely to get distracted by minor imperfections and transitory frustrations. Finally, you have a knack for seeing patterns that others find hard to discern. I adore you!

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Is the first sip always the best? Do you inevitably draw the most vivid enjoyment from the initial swig of coffee or beer? Similarly, are the first few bites of food the most delectable, and after that your taste buds get diminishing returns? Maybe these descriptions are often accurate, but I believe they will be less so for you in the coming weeks. There’s a good chance that flavors will be best later in the drink or the meal. And that is a good metaphor for other activities, as well. The further you go into every experience, the greater the pleasure and satisfaction will be — and the more interesting the learning.

Categories
Fun Stuff Metaphysical Connection

Metaphysical Connection: Road Opening

We’re officially headed into the second half of the year, which makes this a great time to check in with ourselves. We have had all year to plan what we wanted to work on and begin to make it happen. How is that manifestation project going? If things aren’t developing as you had hoped by now, there are some things you can do to keep moving forward.

Firstly, consider if the work you began earlier is something you want to continue doing. Sometimes things just don’t work out, or the timing isn’t right. Don’t force something that isn’t meant to be. However, if you do want to continue this same journey, and feel like you need a little help getting to the finish line, a road opening work might be just the thing you need.

A road opening is a spell that will help remove any obstacles on the road ahead of you that might be preventing you from reaching your desired goal. The road opener spell is a multitasker. It can be similar to a banishing, invoking, intention setting, or shielding work. Often, a road opening does a little of all of those things. It can also help when everything seems confused, heavy, stagnant, and there is incessant pressure, miscommunication, and/or bad luck preventing your progress.

A road opening work can help attract a more successful energy to enter your life. Depending on your circumstances, it may help remove negative energies affecting you, and it can help you refocus on your goal. Road opening has similar properties to Van Van, a hoodoo recipe used for opening doors, bringing success and good luck, and clearing obstacles. Van Van is typically found in an oil, and the oil can be combined with a road opening candle for a powerful obstacle remover.

Road opening work often makes use of candles. Most road opening candles come in orange, gold, and green — three colors that represent success and action. Once you have a candle, you can add herbs or oils to it to help program and increase the energy of the spell. Van Van oil would be a great addition; however, you could also try herbs whose energies attract success and luck such as five finger grass, bay, clove, cinnamon, allspice, abre camino herb, or High John root. Basil, pine, rue, lemongrass, and lemon balm are all great herbs for removing negativity and cleansing, which is something you will want to do as part of your road opening. Getting rid of any stagnant or negative energy and cleansing is always the best place to start with any endeavor, especially if you feel like something is blocking you from your goal.

You could add a key to your road opening candle to help unlock the path ahead of you. You can use a real key or a key charm. A real key might be helpful if the lock that the key opens is part of what needs to be unblocked, such as clearing the way for getting a new home or business space. You can tie the key to the candle or lay it next to the candle. Be sure to speak your intentions over the key or any other item you incorporate.

It is thought that our ancestors may have done their road opening work at a crossroads. If you have a convenient crossroads where you can do this, use it and let it add energy to your spell. Most of us do not have a handy crossroads, but there are some work-arounds if you would like to use the imagery of a crossroads. You can use crossroads dirt in your work. Simply stop at a convenient intersection and dig up a handful dirt to use. Or you can use chalk and draw a big cross or X on your working space and set your candle in the middle, where the two lines cross.

Once you have what you need to do your working, all that’s left is for you to light your candle, refocus on your goal, and succeed! Happy manifesting!

Emily Guenther is a co-owner of The Broom Closet metaphysical shop. She is a Memphis native, professional tarot reader, ordained Pagan clergy, and dog mom.

Categories
Food & Wine Food & Drink

New Menu at Dory

Beginning August 3rd, diners will order from a menu at Dory. They used to have to wait and be surprised to see what they were getting for dinner. The menu was a secret.

“We are switching models to what we intended to open as: a regular old come in and order off a real menu — not a fixed menu,” says Amanda Krog, who, along with her husband, chef David Krog, are owners of the East Memphis restaurant.

“It’s an open menu,” David says. “There are 18 items on it.”

Selections include scallops and mussels with herb risotto and citrus beurre blanc, as well as a pork loin with smoked white bean puree, chimichurri, and charred onion.

David is partial to his mushroom appetizer. “It’s seared oyster mushrooms from Bluff City Fungi, masa from Delta Grind, farmer’s cheese we made ourselves here, fermented onion powder, and olive oil,” he says. “It’s my favorite thing on the menu. We have it in what would be the appetizer section. And everything about it is homey. Everything about it is comforting. And it was a dish I had in my head and it came out exactly like I pictured it.”

The menu will “move and change as the growers change,” David says. “The thing about Memphis and in this part of the South is that seasonal is our seasons. Sometimes they’re longer and sometimes they’re shorter. And, for us, if there are any gaps coming from our aggregate or the few farms that we get from consistently, we have to be able to pivot on that.”

And, he says, “I made a commitment to not use big ‘ag.’ So, we’re committed to a mission that is attached to humans that are doing this at a high level in small farms around here.”

Dory is “intentionally sourced,” David says. “Which doesn’t mean local for us. There’s a big difference between hyperlocal and I can only go 200 miles in either direction from us. The intention when we first started was [to buy] as close to the door as we possibly can. But if something grows out West, I have to find a farmer or a grower or a forager or whatever whose mission aligns with us.”

They planned to open April 2020, but the pandemic hit. “Construction and deliveries and all of that slowed down,” Amanda says. “By the time we were able to actually open the doors, capacities at restaurants were 25 percent and we couldn’t open the bar.”

A tasting menu seemed the best plan for the new restaurant. “There’s no tasting menu in a restaurant in Memphis,” David says. “So, us opening one under the conditions that we did with very little research was kind of like winging it.”

They served a six-course dinner that included an amuse-bouche, intermezzo sorbet, entrée, dessert, and mignardise.

“You got nine things in the perfect order that is also offset by each table,” Amanda says. “So, nobody is on the same course at the same time.”

They only saw some people on special occasions or once a month. “It kind of made having regulars and seeing your guests as frequently as another neighborhood restaurant impossible,” David says.

About six months ago they made the “official decision” to change to the à la carte menu.

Another change, which will be coming soon, is a kids menu. “First time in my career that I ever worked in a kitchen that has a kids menu. And Doris is writing it.”

Doris is their 6-year-old daughter. They asked her to come up with what she’d like to see on a children’s menu.

One thing that isn’t changing at Dory is the atmosphere. “As I grew older and started running kitchens in my early 20s, I understood how important it was to treat the people in our dining room literally like our guests,” David says. “Like guests in our home.”

Even when they didn’t know what was coming next on the menu, people were constantly telling them how warm Dory made them feel. “And that’s pretty cool.”

Dory is at 716 West Brookhaven Circle; (901) 310-4290.

Categories
Opinion The Last Word

National Policy Wrapped in Razor Wire

“A 4-year-old girl passed out in 100-degree heat after she was pushed back toward Mexico by Texas National Guard personnel. A pregnant woman became trapped in razor wire and had a miscarriage. A state trooper said he was under orders not to give migrants any water.”

Yes, these are scenes from something called “Operation Lone Star,” but the director isn’t John Ford; it’s Texas Governor Greg Abbott — and this is real life, as reported by USA Today. And in real life, at least 853 migrants died trying to cross the U.S.-Mexico border in the past 12 months. And God knows how many merely endured — and continue to endure — various forms of hell.

Something there is that doesn’t love a wall …

The wall Robert Frost wrote about in his classic poem “Mending Wall,” published in 1914, was a hand-built stone wall separating an apple orchard from a pine forest. The narrator of the poem expressed ambivalence about walls in general — what’s their point? — and smirked when his neighbor said: “Good fences make good neighbors.” But here he was, working with his neighbor to repair it. This was an annual ritual; hunters were always knocking part of the wall down, and the winter weather — the frost — also inflicted regular damage. The wall was simply part of their lives, so every spring they put it back together.

Interestingly, the poem started claiming a spot in the national political consciousness in the early ’60s, after the Soviets constructed a wall dividing East and West Berlin. Yeah, something there is that doesn’t love a wall. The line had Cold War resonance, at least when it was directed at the communists, who were arrogantly creating a barrier that must not be crossed. Quite obviously, this was not a wall constructed by equals. It was a one-sided declaration to an enemy: Stay out. America, the good guys, told the Soviets with moral certainty: Tear down that wall. This puts the present moment, and the obsession of certain powerful Americans with “border security” (and, for God’s sake, razor wire) in an interesting context.

Consider the words of Martin Luther King, when he visited Berlin in 1964:  “It is indeed an honor to be in this city, which stands as a symbol of the divisions of men on the face of the Earth. For here on either side of the wall are God’s children and no man-made barrier can obliterate that fact. Whether it be East or West, men and women search for meaning, hope for fulfillment, yearn for faith in something beyond themselves, and cry desperately for love and community to support them in this pilgrim journey.”

I guess those are easy words to embrace when they’re directed at a declared enemy. But King’s context was a little larger than that. He told his audience of Berliners that, while he was hardly an expert in German politics, he knew about walls. I think he could very well have said the same words in El Paso or Laredo or Eagle Pass — any Texas border city. 

“For here on either side of the wall are God’s children and no man-made barrier can obliterate that fact.”

Are you aware of that, Governor Abbott? 

Simple-minded and cruel governmental policies — policies wrapped in razor wire — keep no one safe. 

So am I saying that border protection is 100 percent wrong and our borders should be wide open? In my heart, yes, but I’m also aware that the matter is way more complicated than that, and the flow of refugees into a country can create complex difficulties for the current social structure, financial and otherwise. What I am saying is that the flow of refugees is a global matter — kind of on the order of climate change, not to mention war — and we … all of us … have to devote far more energy and awareness to addressing it than we have so far. Dehumanizing the refugees, then simply focusing on keeping them out, as though they were vermin, betrays an excruciating lack of moral intelligence.

And the damage is widespread, cultural and environmental. As the Center for Biological Diversity points out: “Border walls built over the past several decades along the U.S.-Mexico border are a dark stain on American history. Hundreds of miles of wall have been built through protected public lands, communities, and sovereign tribal nations. These barriers cut through sensitive ecosystems, disrupt animal migration patterns, cause catastrophic flooding, and separate families.”

And a diverse array of endangered and rare species is threatened by our militarized protection of an imaginary line, including, as the center notes: “Sonoran pronghorns, lesser long-nosed bats, Quino checkerspot butterflies, cactus ferruginous pygmy owls, and larger predators like jaguars, Mexican gray wolves, and ocelots …”

The “border problem” cannot be resolved by minimizing our connection to all of humanity and all of the natural world. What we call government is our collective identity. It’s more than just bureaucracy. It’s more than just rules and guns and razor wire. And now is the time for it to wake up, but this will only happen if we demand that it expand its awareness … expand its sense of empathy. This is the only way it can “protect” us from our self-created problems. 

Robert Koehler (koehlercw@gmail.com), syndicated by PeaceVoice, is a Chicago award-winning journalist and editor. He is the author of Courage Grows Strong at the Wound.

Categories
Cover Feature News

Summer Reading Guide 2023

The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and the bugs are buzzing. Yep, it’s still summertime, and we’re sure that you’re all tired out from the plenty of summer and staycation activities we’ve thrown your way over the past couple months. So what better time is there to plop down on the patio (or, preferably, a nice air-conditioned room) and crack open a new (or old) book? Read on for some of our 2023 recommendations.

The Slough House series, Mick Herron

I’m not entirely sure how I fell into the world of Slough House, but I’m glad I did. It’s an eight-book series by British author Mick Herron about a bunch of losers from MI5 (the British CIA, basically) who’ve been banished to a decrepit office building in a crumbling London neighborhood.

The building itself is called Slough House, and its denizens are a group of agents with one thing in common: They’ve screwed up their careers so badly that they’ve been assigned to an obscure outpost where they can’t do any further harm to the country’s intelligence operations. Maybe they had a drinking problem or botched a critical operation or fell victim to vicious inter-office politics. They’re called “slow horses,” and each of them wants nothing more than to redeem themselves and get out of Slough House and back into the action.

They are led by the mysteriously competent — and notoriously gross — Jackson Lamb, who somehow has managed to retain a bond to MI5’s leader, Diana Tavener. She has a habit of surreptitiously using Lamb and his slow horses for off-the-books ops, and messy complications always ensue.

The horses are a colorful crew of characters, all flawed, but in ways that make you care about them. But don’t get too attached because Herron seems to have no problem with offing one of his central figures, only to replace them in his next book with someone just as weirdly interesting. He keeps enough of his central core of actors that each book offers familiar protagonists, as well as a quirky newcomer or two.

The plots are all over the place, and in a good way: kidnappings, murders, double agents, assassinations, international intrigue, betrayals of every kind. You never know who you can trust. Herron is a master storyteller with a flair for humor that he occasionally slips in like a dagger in the night.

It’s an eight-book series, and yes, I read them all. Herron has been called the “John le Carré of this generation,” and that’s high praise, indeed, but Herron is much more readable — addictive, even. Start with the first book — Slow Horses — and I bet you’ll be moving on to the second one (and third) in no time. 

Bruce VanWyngarden

Ripe, Sarah Rose Etter

I’ll admit I wasn’t in the best of moods on April 29th. It was raining, and my friend was already an hour late for meeting me at the Cooper-Young Farmers Market. So I retreated to Burke’s Book Store, where it was dry and where I knew my mood would be lifted. As it so happened, April 29th was Independent Bookstore Day, and right at the store’s entrance was a big ol’ pile of free books as part of the day’s party favors. This, I knew, would redeem the day. After what felt like an hour, I finally found the free book I’d be taking home with me: an advanced reader’s copy of Ripe by Sarah Rose Etter, set to come out July 11th. 

The book’s cover, the juicy insides of a pomegranate, caught my eye initially. (Okay, I judge books by their covers, sue me.) But what really drew me in was the first sentence: “A man shouldn’t be seen like that, all lit up.” And then I couldn’t help but read the second sentence and then the third and then the next and the next — okay, I practically started reading it on the spot, probably standing in the way of other book-lovers looking for their own free book. I didn’t care that my friend was now two hours late (?!); I just wanted to sink my teeth into this novel. And soon, I did just that — sunk my teeth right on in and tore through the pages, all of them, in one day. 

A character-driven novel at its core, Ripe follows a 33-year-old, disillusioned Cassie, whose most loyal companion is a black hole that never leaves her side — an obvious nod to the depression, anxiety, and loneliness that enrapture the main character. A year into what should be her dream job at a Silicon Valley startup, Cassie is stuck — stuck in a fruitless romance, stuck in an unsatisfying job and hustle culture, stuck in a city where obscene wealth and abject poverty persist. When her job begins to push her ethics and she finds herself pregnant, she must choose whether to remain stuck and whether to be consumed by the black hole that follows her.

Throughout this contemporary novel full of deep and unusual reflections, Etter’s strikingly raw and vulnerable writing weighs on the reader as she explores our late-capitalist society through a dystopic lens. A master of rich imagery and language, Etter hasn’t created a “happy” book but instead an immersive book that crawls under your skin and tugs at your very being.

Abigail Morici

The Philosophy of Modern Song, Bob Dylan

“One of the ways creativity works is the brain tries to fill in holes and gaps,” writes Bob Dylan in The Philosophy of Modern Song. “We fill in missing bits of pictures, snatches of dialogue, we finish rhymes and invent stories to explain things we do not know.” Not only is it a fundamental principle in both songwriting and song listening, it’s an apt description of Dylan’s own songs. He makes no bones about borrowing from this or that old blues tune, at times functioning more as a curator of phrases and riffs, arranging them in inventive, thought-provoking ways. 

This richly illustrated book is built on the same principle. Despite its treatise-like title, potentially offering some stuffy rubric or taxonomy, the 66 essays here, each centered on a song by another artist, whether popular or obscure, are instead a kind of pastiche, a quilt of impressions, imaginings, and history, and a celebration of the way a song can spark a listener’s creativity. Only then, with Dylan’s flights of fantasy, fiction, and fandom established as the modus operandi, will the author occasionally offer an observation on songcraft as an aside.

The end result is not unlike a Bob Dylan album, bubbling over with snatches of traditional verse, noir scenarios, archaic pop-culture references, semi-Biblical metaphysics, and the same down-home vernacular that’s peppered his language since his first Beat-flavored liner notes. “My songs’re written with the kettledrum in mind,” he wrote in 1965, “a touch of any anxious color. Unmentionable. Obvious … I have given up at making any attempt at perfection.” 

That impulse to avoid the definitive, perfect statement in favor of walking the listener through a gallery of images and dramas, all via a cultivated plain-speak that still echoes Woody Guthrie, is alive and well here. As one reads it, remember that Dylan won the Nobel Prize as a writer of fiction. Like any novelist, he inhabits the characters in each song until they become “you,” as he riffs on where you’re coming from, walking you through whole worlds suggested by the song like a figure in a dream. This, too, emphasizes the creativity inherent in the simple art of listening. “Take any lyrics and run with them,” Dylan seems to say. “Here’s one story they might hint at.”

While any song’s essay might reference a dozen other songs by way of making a point, Dylan’s no completist. The typical reader of Songwriting For Dummies won’t find chapters on Lennon and McCartney, John Prine, or many others typically revered in the pantheon of songwriting. No, this author is following his own path, dropping bread crumbs as he goes. Take it far enough and it adds up to a full meal. 

Alex Greene

Gideon the Ninth, Tamsyn Muir

Is it too quick to judge a book by its cover, even if it looks pretty dang cool? Ok, well if that’s a bit too fast, maybe the first line of Tamysn Muir’s Gideon the Ninth might be best to clue readers in as to what’s coming: “In the myriad year of our lord — the ten thousandth year of the King Undying, the kindly Prince of Death! — Gideon Nav packed her sword, her shoes, and her dirty magazines, and she escaped from the House of the Ninth.” Coupled with Gideon’s portrait on the cover, clad in black, adorned in skull face paint and sunglasses, and with her sword scattering skeletons to and fro … buckle up.

I was a couple years late to the party, but the first book in The Locked Tomb series was sold to me by friends via an intriguing hook: lesbian necromancers in space. Gideon is a speck in the Dominicus star system, comprising nine planets that are each home to a Great House well-versed in the arts of necromancy, all of whom are in service to the Emperor/Necrolord Prime. Gideon is an indentured servant to the Ninth House, a death cult with an eternal mission to guard a locked tomb that supposedly imprisons the Emperor’s greatest enemy. One of two children at the House, Gideon is constantly menaced by her chief tormentor and heir to the Ninth, Harrowhark Nonagesimus, until a surprise summons comes from the Emperor. He’s in need of new Lyctors — powerful and immortal necromancers — who essentially serve as his lieutenants in wartime.

There’s certainly some table setting that needs doing, but of course, Gideon and Harrow find themselves as the two representatives of the Ninth House, whisked away to the isolated Canaan House with pairs from the rest of the Great Houses (so many houses), and then the real fun begins.

Muir blends her various schools of necromancy into a deep-space take on gothic horror, but the fright is constantly alleviated by Gideon’s brash and foul-mouthed perspective, moments of tension punctured by cursing, dirty jokes, or a passing infatuation with one of the other female House representatives. It really brings a refreshing take on fantasy and sci-fi adventures, blending a light touch of political machination alongside the darker instances of violence and body horror that come with the necromantic territory. There’s a slowly simmering tension underneath it all, with the ten participants expected to pass a series of tests to qualify as a Lyctor. But there’s no exiting Canaan House once the trials have begun, and something else lurks in the shadows, picking off representatives one by one. 

There’s a constant drip of psychological and supernatural horror throughout Gideon the Ninth, mixed in with a steady helping of isolated-murder-mystery-induced dread, and plenty of snarl, raunch, and snark to spare. The anxious claustrophobia snowballs as the novel really picks up pace, and I’m not sure there’s anything quite like the cocktail that Muir mixes up here (at least not something that I’ve read). So if you’re eager for a bone-crunching good time, the first Locked Tomb book won’t disappoint.

TL;DR: Lesbian necromancers … in space!

Samuel X. Cicci

Malfunction Junction Vol. 2: Close Encounters of the Third Street Kind, various authors

In January of last year, I wrote about a group of eight local writers who collaborated on a collection of short stories. The collection, titled Malfunction Junction, contained 15 stories, covering a range of genres, but all set in Memphis. In a way, they were love letters to the Bluff City. For their work, the authors earned Memphis Public Library’s first-ever Richard Wright Literary Award for Best Adult Fiction this March, so it’s no surprise that most of these authors returned for a sequel collection and even picked up a few other writers along the way. 

Unlike the first Malfunction Junction, whose uniting element was simply that the stories were set in Memphis, this second collection explores the theme of encounters — that, yes, happen to happen in Memphis and the Mid-South area. For Malfunction Junction Vol. 2: Close Encounters of the Third Street Kind, returning writers Rikki Boyce, April Jones, Rae Harding, Justin Siebert, and Daniel Reece, plus newcomers K.M. Brecht, Cori Romani, Michael Chewning, K.D. Barnes, and Imogean Webb, have each approached the theme in unexpected ways, varying in genre from horror to fantasy to mystery. 

Within the pages, you’ll read of a vampire during the yellow fever epidemic, a satyr romping down Beale, a demon at the Crystal Shrine Grotto, an experimental project with the MPD, and a drink with a familiar stranger at RP Tracks. Compelling and unmistakably Memphis, these stories will leave a reader hoping for a third Malfunction Junction.

AM

The Dawn of Everything, David Graeber and David Wengrow

I’ve been addicted to Sid Meier’s Civilization games for longer than I’d like to admit. Players start in the middle of a map of unknown territory with a settler to found a city and scout to look around. The challenge is to explore new lands, discover new scientific principles, exploit natural resources, increase in wealth, found new cities, and go to war to expand your civilization until it dominates the world. The mini-narratives of alternative history which emerge from the game can have uncanny parallels with real history — when the bloody remnants of your grand army are retreating from your rival’s capital, you understand how Napoleon screwed up so badly. In my perfect world, one of the presidential debates would be replaced with a Civilization V tournament. 

But the world we live in isn’t perfect and never has been. What if we’ve been going about this “civilization” thing all wrong? 

That’s the premise of The Dawn of Everything by anthropologist David Graeber and archeologist David Wengrow. The book begins by questioning the concept of the “noble savage,” first popularized during the Enlightenment by Jean-Jacques Rousseau, which posited that humanity used to live in a naive state of equality and squalor until the development of agriculture led to the founding of cities. The evolution of hierarchies like king and peasant emerged from necessity. Graeber and Wengrow use recent discoveries to weave together the argument that complex social structures and hierarchies long predated agriculture. The people who built Göbekli Tepe, the 9,600-year-old temple in Turkey that is the oldest known permanent human structure, were hunter-gatherers, not pastoral farmers. Nor is progress a given: There’s evidence that prehistoric inhabitants of England developed agriculture, then abandoned it in favor of a diet based on hazelnuts, before learning to farm again. 

At 704 pages, this is not a quick beach read. Graeber and Wengrow are good enough writers to sustain your interest through chapters with titles like “In Which We Offer A Digression on ‘The Shape of Time’” and “Specifically How Metaphors of Growth and Decay Introduce Unnoticed Political Biases Into Our View of History.” They wield a dazzling array of historical anecdotes which challenge conventional wisdom about who we are and where we came from. You’ll sometimes find yourself questioning their conclusions, but that’s the point of the book. Human societies have come in all kinds of flavors, and there’s nothing inevitable about how we live now.

Chris McCoy 

Categories
News The Fly-By

MEMernet: The Rivalry, Pigman, and NLE’s Clone

Memphis on the internet.

The Rivalry

Memphis Reddit users examined the old rivalry between Memphis and Nashville last week. The debate was sparked by a Lonely Planet story earlier this year that pitted the cities against each other on music and food. Neither won. Neither really won in the Reddit comments either.

“The rivalry is stupid,” wrote u/RedWhiteAndJew.

“People in Nashville are just as tired of the Republican fuckery in this state,” wrote u/Educational_Cattle10.

“The rivalry is completely a Memphis thing,” wrote u/StreetAvenue. “Folks in Nashville don’t give a shit.”

Pigman

Posted to Facebook by Devilhound Paranormal Group

Redditors also remembered the Pigman, a Memphis urban legend.

“He was reputed to be a man with the face like a pig due to an industrial accident,” wrote u/Absotivly_Posolutly. “He lived under a bridge in Millington around Shakerag. You were supposed to be able to drive out to the bridge at night with your headlights out and flash them three times to summon the Pigman.”

NLE’s Clone

Posted to YouTube by NLE Choppa

NLE Choppa goofed on YouTube recently with a video of him receiving a clone of himself from “the government.” The clone had copied NLE’s tattoos and speech mannerisms. But the rapper “broke” the clone in a dance off, finishing him with the “infamous Memphis twerk-walk.”

Categories
Music Music Features

Cloudland Canyon Releases Self-Titled Album

Ted Leibowitz, the host of the long-running indie-rock-oriented internet radio station BAGeL Radio, likes to point out the rare “self-titled, non-debut album that doesn’t suck.” Bands’ first albums are often self-titled, since they’re trying to introduce themselves to the world. But sometimes, when an act is getting stale, the band will try to reinvent their sound and release an album that is self-titled to signal that they’re getting “back to the basics.” Usually, this ends in disaster. But every now and then it works — like Cloudland Canyon’s self-titled fifth album.

“We were thinking it would be kind of cool for some reason to have people not really know what the title was. Like Big Star’s Third record, shrouded in mystery,” says Cloudland Canyon’s bandleader Kip Uhlhorn. “We have another title, but I kind of chickened out about it. It’s written on the sleeve.”

Even if the record had officially carried the title which graces the cover, God Bless Kip Uhlhorn, it would still have been a roller-coaster, nine-song journey through Uhlhorn’s hard drives. He started in the plague year of 2021, after he had taken a five-year break from playing and recording to raise his young son. “It worked out well because there are songs that I had for a long time that I always kind of set aside. It was like, ‘Oh, this could be really good, but it’s not done yet.’ Almost all of them were like that.”

The opener “Circuit City” is a bouncy castle of ’80s synth pop that wouldn’t sound out of place on a Soft Cell record. “Recursive Excursions” drips with the narcotized seduction of Warhol-era Velvet Underground. Uhlhorn hands over vocal duties to Elyssa Worley for “LV MCHNS,” which beeps and bloops to sound like a long-lost Ladytron song.

The varied soundscapes reflect Cloudland Canyon’s varied discography. The band started in the early 2000s, when Uhlhorn met Simon Wojan, who was, at the time, touring with King Khan and the Shrines, the frenetic soul revue fronted by Arish Ahmad Khan. Uhlhorn, a Memphis native, was living in New York, and Wojan was in Germany. “He started coming over like every six months and we’d just work on music all day. Then we’d mail it back and forth before email was capable of doin’ that. It was really hard to do. We would record on like mini discs and stuff.”

Those recordings formed the backbone of Cloudland Canyon’s first album, Requiems Der Natur 2002-2004. Wojan plays on several tracks of the new album, as do other Uhlhorn collaborators such as Sonic Boom from Spaceman 3, former Panther Burns drummer Ross Johnson, Lahna Deering, Zach Corsa, Justin Jordan, and Memphis Flyer music editor Alex Greene. Despite all of the personnel changes, Cloudland Canyon’s songs flow smoothly into one another, making for an album that rewards repeat listening. The centerpiece “Future Perfect (Bad Decision)” floats away on an irresistible refrain, “Come on and make a bad decision.”

When it came time to put together a band to play the new songs live, Uhlhorn tapped longtime friend Graham Burks. “We’re friends. We grew up going to the same elementary school, and Kip and I came up through the Antenna, punk rock and all that,” says Burks. “I found my way into electronic music, and Kip was doing similar things. We were both in the Memphis hardcore scene and went on to play in bands with a bunch of synthesizers. We’ve just kind of always stayed in touch and had common interests. Then we had kids at the same time and we’ve just always been kind of weaving in and out of each other’s lives.”

Rounding out the band is Corbin Linebarier. “Kip was kind of piecing this record together as he’s getting back into music and then he’s got this record and he’s got this great opportunity to play in Austin,” says Burks. “We all play in bands that use similar technology footprints, between what I do with Loose Opinions and what Corbin does with General Labor. We thought it was gonna be kind of a pain to put these songs together, but it came together pretty quickly.”

“It sounds better live than it ever has,” says Uhlhorn.

On Saturday, August 5th, 9 p.m., Cloudland Canyon will play a rare Memphis show at Bar DKDC with General Labor and fellow synth enthusiasts Optic Sink. Uhlhorn says his recent return to form has been rejuvenating. “Once I started doing it again, I was like, ‘I can’t believe I just didn’t do this at all for so long!’”

Categories
Politics Politics Feature

Who Gets the GOP Vote?

UPDATED: As is generally known, Memphis city elections are not subject to partisan voting. There are no primaries allowing our local Republicans and Democrats to nominate a candidate to carry the party banner.

Nor, in the case of citywide office (mayor or council super districts 8 and 9), does there exist machinery for a runoff election when no candidate for those offices commands a majority of the general election vote.

There are runoff circumstances for districts 1 through 7, each of them a single district contributing to the pastiche of city government, by electing, in effect, a council member to serve a smaller geographical area or neighborhood.

The aforementioned super districts encompass the entire city. Each of them, in theory, represents a half of the city’s population — the western half being predominantly Black, as of 1991, when the first super-district lines were drawn, the eastern half being largely white. (Though population has meanwhile shifted, those distinctions are still more or less accurate.)

Runoffs are prohibited in the super districts as well as in mayoral elections in the city at large because, in the Solomonic judgment of the late U.S. District Judge Jerome Turner, who devised this electoral system in response to citizen litigation, that’s how things should be divided in order to recognize demographic realities while at the same time discouraging efforts to exploit them.

Each citizen of Memphis gets to vote for four council members, one representing the single district of their residence, the other three representing the half of the city in which their race is predominant. Runoffs are permitted in the smaller single districts, where racial factors do not loom either divisive or decisive, while they are prohibited in the larger areas, where, in theory, voters of one race could rather easily league together to elect one of their own (as whites commonly did in the historic past).

Mayoral elections are winner-takes-all, and Willie Herenton’s victory in 1991 as the first elected Black mayor is regarded as having been a vindication of the system.

Got all that?

Yes, it’s a hodgepodge, but it’s what we’ve still got, even though Blacks, a minority then, are a majority now. And, in fact, race is irrelevant in the 2023 mayor’s race, there being no white candidate still participating with even a ghost of a chance of winning.

Political party is the major remaining “it” factor, and the failure of either party to call for primary voting in city elections has more or less nullified it as a direct determinant of the outcome.

But, with the withdrawal last week from the mayoral race of white Republican candidates Frank Colvett and George Flinn, speculation has become rampant as to who, among the nominal Democrats still in the race, might inherit the vote of the city’s Republicans.

Sheriff Floyd Bonner, whose law-and-order posture is expected to appeal to the city’s conservatives?

Downtown Memphis Commission CEO Paul Young, who has several prior Republican primary votes on his record in non-city elections?

Businessman J.W. Gibson, who once was a member of the local Republican steering committee?

Only NAACP president Van Turner and former Mayor Herenton, among serious candidates, are exempt from such speculation, both regarded as being dyed-in-the-wool Democrats.

In a close election, the disposition of the Republican vote, estimated to be 24 percent of the total, could be crucial.

Categories
At Large Opinion

Lights Out!

While driving through the city in recent weeks, I’ve found myself being re-routed around fallen trees and/or limbs several times. There were at least four big ones restricting access to streets within 10 blocks of my Midtown home. Out east, and up north in the Bartlett area, things were much worse.

It’s becoming the new normal. Over the course of several storm systems this summer, the number of Memphians without power at various times was well over 100,000, often for days.

And if it’s not wind turning off our lights, it’s ice, as heavily coated trees and limbs fall on power lines and leave us in the cold and dark. After February’s ice storm, thousands of people were without power, some for up to 10 days. The winter before, it was the same thing — with the added bonus of making our water undrinkable for several days.

MLGW says its infrastructure is outdated and being upgraded, but there’s no getting around the fact that the magnificent trees that shade us through Memphis’ asphalt-melting summers also shut off our air conditioners (and furnaces). If you add up the number of people in the city who’ve lost power just this year as a result of various weather incidents, it’s well into six figures, certainly well above the 100,000 number I cited above.

This was a tweet from MLGW in response to criticism from city council members during the 2022 ice storm: “It took three years to get our budget with a rate increase to fund our five-year improvement plan approved by City Council. We are in the third year of the five-year plan, which has been hampered considerably by the pandemic.”

So, now they’re in the fourth year of the plan. Forgive me if I remain skeptical — and not because I don’t think they’re trying. MLGW workers have been magnificent, working long hours, doing their best to fix a system not built for the increasing frequency of severe weather. They’re trying to play Whac-A-Mole and the moles are winning — with a big assist from global climate change.

The outcry always arises that we need to put our power lines underground. The utility’s response, and I think it’s legitimate, is that it would take decades and cost several billion dollars. So maybe let’s think outside the Whac-A-Mole box.

Some people are already doing it, of course. This has mostly taken the form of buying a gas generator to provide power when storms strike. I get the appeal, but let me suggest another option that came to me when I drove through the back roads of Arkansas last week. I couldn’t help but notice the surprising number of solar panels on rural houses and businesses, many of them new, some even being installed as I drove by. These folks are likely taking advantage of the Inflation Reduction Act’s solar Investment Tax Credit, which reduces tax liability on solar installation by 30 percent of the cost. In addition, taxpayers will be able to claim a 30 percent bonus credit based on emission measurements, which requires zero or net-negative carbon emissions.

So, instead of getting a generator, maybe consider installing solar panels. The initial cost is higher, but the long-term advantage is significant. In addition to a tax credit, you can even get paid for selling electricity back to the grid. Not to mention, solar panels are quiet and don’t pollute.

And here’s another thought: Maybe the city and/or MLGW could divert some of those theoretical funds for burying power lines into incentives to Memphis home and business owners for going solar.

I’m under no illusion that thousands of Memphians will immediately begin installing solar panels, but some will, especially if the benefits are publicized. It beats snarky tweets between city council and MLGW. And there are similar federal tax incentives for businesses that have solar technology installed, so why not sweeten the pot with local funds? Maybe we could get solar panels on our grocery stores. Or our 10,000 Walgreens.

We have to start somewhere. Continuing to chainsaw ourselves out from under fallen debris and wait to be reattached to the grid after every major weather event is not a plan. It’s time to re-route our approach to keeping the lights on.