The Memphis Dragon Boat Festival rolls into Shelby Farms Park this weekend. (Photo: Courtesy Memphis Dragon Boat Festival)
Art Openings Bonanza I don’t know what is in the air this Friday, but every art gallery is having an opening reception this evening. I mean, not every one, but enough where I’m like it’s too many. How am I going to see all the shows? I’ll try though. And so should you.
“Hank Smith: Swamp: A Meditation on Self and Silt”: I wrote about Hank’s show the other day. It’s inspired by the local wetlands, and Hank’s partnered with the Wolf River Conservancy, who’ll be a part of the artist talk. There’s also gonna be cocktails by Bar Limina and music by Too Small. | Ugly Art Co., Friday, May 30, 5:30-8 p.m.
Summer Exhibition Opening Reception | Crosstown Arts celebrates three new exhibitions: “Bleeding Together,” “[Fe]atured Ar[Ti]sts” (that’s difficult to type out), and “Zen on the Installment Plan.” (Go here for descriptions on the exhibitions because I won’t be typing those out at the moment.) There’s going to be food from Bao Toan, cocktails from Art Bar, music by DJ Ty Boyland, and a demonstration of “Paint What You Feel” by Aaron James. (From what I gather, this man stands shirtless in a room and you can paint what you feel on him.) | Crosstown Arts, Friday, May 30, 6-8 p.m.
Memphis Italian Festival Marquette Park Friday-Saturday, May 30-31, 11 a.m.-11 p.m. Everyone is Italian at the Memphis Italian Festival, where bocce, grape stomping, wine race, face painting, and cooking demonstrations come together along with a variety of food and arts vendors.
Cemetery Cinema: The Sixth Sense Elmwood Cemetery Friday, May 30, 8:30 p.m. I see dead people. Honestly, I wish. It’d make me *unique.* I used to see a ghost when I was 3, but I haven’t seen Dorea since. Oh well. See the movie that made the quote famous at Elmwood this Friday as the cemetery brings its Cemetery Cinema series back for the summer. Tickets are $17.85.
The Memphis Potters’ Guild Spring Show and Sale St. Anne Catholic Church Friday-Sunday, May 30-June1 Buy some cool pottery this weekend. The show runs 5 to 8 p.m. on Friday, 10 a.m. to 5 on Saturday, and 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. on Sunday.
Memphis Dragon Boat Festival Shelby Farms Park Saturday, May 31, 8 a.m.-3 p.m. See dragon boats race and dancers perform, enjoy live music, and eat lots of food at this free event.
Memphis Vegan Festival The Fourth Bluff Saturday, May 31, 11 a.m.-6 p.m. Veg out at the Memphis Vegan Festival, where there will be vegan food galore (duh), plus live entertainment and a marketplace with local businesses, plant-based health and beauty products, and more.
Memphis Margarita Festival Overton Square Saturday, May 31, 3-6 p.m. Sample from the city’s best margarita-makers, vote on your favorite, and crown an audience winner at the end of this best ’rita fest hosted by your favorite Memphis Flyer. Tickets ($59.78) will get you 12 margarita samples. Food will be available for purchase, and so will full-sized drinks.
Cooper-Young Cat Walk Cooper-Young Gazebo Sunday, June 1, 2 p.m. Meet the cats of Cooper-Young on this free, approximately one-hour walking tour. Read more about it here.
There’s always something happening in Memphis. See a full calendar of events here.
Comedian Roy Wood Jr. will headline Just City’s 10-year celebration, Stand Up with Just City, on June 8th at Minglewood Hall from 6 to 8 p.m.
The Birmingham-born comic is known for his political correspondence on The Daily Show, comedy specials, and production of the PBS documentary The Neutral Ground, among other projects. Wood is set to perform stand-up as Just City celebrates 10 years of impact and criminal justice reform.
“I’m thankful to be a part of this and to be able to come there and see it and action,” Wood said. “It’ll be a beautiful thing and I look forward to it.”
The Memphis Flyer spoke with Wood Jr. prior to the event about the importance of comedy, navigating tough topics, and more.
Memphis Flyer: Was there anything about Just City’s mission of social justice reform that stood out to you or intersected with your personal beliefs?
Roy Wood Jr.: At The Daily Show I’ve had an opportunity to cover a number of social issues, and when they came to me about being a part of what they’re doing, to me it was a no-brainer. I feel like what they do is worthwhile.
The two causes I tend to take up in Birmingham where I’m from are illiteracy and youth sports. Well, literacy — I’m not pro-illiteracy. When I look at what [Just City] is trying to do, to me it’s like, ‘Okay, well, y’all do cool stuff, too. I’ll come over there and be a part of that.’
You mentioned your time on The Daily Show. How did your time on the show shape the way you consumed politics and discussed it with your audience?
The Daily Show wired me to try and find the funny in something first, which I think is important when you look at all of the different ways and reasons you could be mad everyday in this world. The Daily Show kind of helped me with the muscle of sarcasm, which is a really good thing.
I think if you’re not looking for it, it’s hard to know and see what everyone else is going through and being affected by in this world. The Daily Show kind of helped to open my eyes, if you will, to what’s going on.
What made you lean into using your real-life run-ins with the law into some of your material?
When I got arrested, my stuff wasn’t necessarily a social injustice. I got lucky, you know; I got probation for stealing some credit cards and I probably should’ve gotten jail time but didn’t. It made me a bit of an advocate to a degree. I ended up doing a show called Jefferson County Probation on Comedy Central. It was a pilot — never went to series — which was about the idea of probation officers because we talk about recidivism and that’s something needs reworking. That was kind of a huge thing.
That’s always been something I’ve tried to infuse in my comedy a little bit, but I try not to live in one topic because there’s a lot of different injustices going on in the world — crazy to say.
We’ve had some pretty tough headlines here in Memphis lately. You’ve navigated lots of heavy topics through comedy and commentary. What advice do you have for people to stay informed without feeling overwhelmed?
I think it’s important for people to turn off the news from time to time. That’s what I do. I think it’s very important, every now and then, to just not consume that type of content and find things that make them happy and connect with friends
My last hour-special for Hulu [Lonely Flowers] is about loneliness and the idea that we don’t connect with people as much as we should. To me, that’s as important as anything else if I’m being honest. I encourage people to do the same. My first three hour-specials were about the world around us and the craziness within it, but I also decided to do a special that didn’t have politics.
Is there anything that reminds you why comedy is important during tough times?
Comedy matters because sooner or later you need a laugh. You have to think of a laugh as a stress fart. If you don’t fart, sooner or later you’re going to explode. I feel the same way about laughter as it relates to stress. I hope everybody comes out to the event and farts with their mouth.
Credit: Screenshot from "Adult Best Friends" trailer.
Nearly two weeks ago in the Memphis subreddit, the eagle-eyed u/theunnamedban spotted a Memphis University School (MUS) Owls T-shirt worn by a character in the movie, Adult Best Friends.
They wondered why. We figured we could, at least, try to solve this Minor Memphis Mystery. We did.
Delaney Buffett co-wrote, directed, and stars in the 2024 film. Her character, also named Delaney, is seen wearing the Owls T-shirt.
Credit: IMDB
Reddit user u/UofMtigers2014 laid out some totally plausible reasons for the shirt’s appearance in the film.
“Two possible reasons: (1) it was filmed in Mississippi so maybe someone on crew in responsible,” reads the comment. “(2) It was filmed in with HBO, who shares a studio with Warner Brothers (WB). If there’s nobody on the crew responsible for this, maybe it was in their costume department as a donation from Henry Gayden, who went to MUS, and wrote the two ‘Shazam’ movies, distributed by WB.”
Other Reddit users thought there might be a connection with Buffett’s dad, Jimmy Buffett, and his time spent in Nashville early in his career.
Turns out the answer is not so satisfying.
“There is zero connection except I borrowed it from my mom’s friend who has a vintage T-shirt collection,” Buffett said in an email. “But amazing to know the origins of it :).”
Adult Best Friends is now streaming on Max, or HBO Max, or HBO, or whatever HBO is calling itself these days.
If you have an idea for Minor Memphis Mysteries and you think we can help, please send an email to toby@memphisflyer.com.
Hank Smith is a terrible hunter and awful at fishing, he says. “Usually, by the end of the day, I just end up bringing back ideas for paintings.”
Of course, that hasn’t stopped him from climbing into boats and blinds, for what could be more productive than finding inspiration?
Most recently, for the past year or so, he’s found himself on the Ghost River and Wapanocca, called to the wetlands of Memphis. He’s paddled, kayaked, hiked, sat, listened, and watched. He’s sometimes whipped out the camera to capture an image, but he’s not there to capture a specific moment, but a feeling — something intangible but undoubtedly recognizable. This would make for the foundation of his latest series of paintings, set to be displayed in “SWAMP: A Meditation on Self and Silt” at Ugly Art Co.
For the show, Smith tried to get out to the wetlands in the area every other week for a while there. He read up on the area and on swamps, picking up an old favorite of his, Contentious Terrains: Boglands, Ireland, Postcolonial Gothic by Derek Gladwin. Learning about the land and and its history is integral to his art, he says — to gleaning out that feeling among the flora and the fauna.
“I don’t really think of [myself as] being a landscape painter,” Smith says, though his show will feature landscapes and close-up visuals of what makes it. “I’m more so thinking about the people and interconnectedness between nature and myself or humanity in general. It’s more like a portraiture thing.”
The wetlands, or the swamps — whatever you want to call them — are “an alternative place,” Smith says, “where time doesn’t necessarily cease to exist, but time becomes more fluid. You can … kind of take things out of the moment. It’s like a way to meditate on where your place is in the interconnectedness between humanity, nature, our culture, our history, the past and future, just by the just the sheer physical reality of swamp, which blew my mind, because it’s kind of a place that’s constantly living and dying. It’s consuming itself but also rebirthing itself. It takes things and it cleans them, and then it gives it back to the world and gives it back to us.”
It’s also a place of refuge, historically. “I’m from Virginia originally, and I was obsessed with the Great Dismal Swamp which always served as a place for the lost, the desperadoes,” Smith says. “I kind of saw that repeated in different places through the South, where the swamps were this place of escape from political, racial, financial, all these other troubles. The swamp kind of serves as a place of protection and also a place of danger.”
In turn, with all these tensions, the swamp becomes a place rife for introspection, a place to look out and to look in. “To me,” Smith says, “it is a very interesting landscape that very quickly breaks that wall between us as humans and nature because you have to interact with it. Once you step in, you gotta be looking where you’re stepping. It’s changing every time you’re there. It’s a place of active growth and thinking. … As an artist, and also in my personal life, I felt that progression kind of reflected in the art.”
Smith had never really painted water before, for instance, so that was something he had to learn with this project. For the most part, he’s a self-taught artist, having taken a few classes here and there and not accepting his fate as a professional artist until his return to Memphis post-pandemic when Ugly Art Co. accepted him as a member of its collective. (Smith had gone to Rhodes College and left the city after he graduated.) “Those previous days, I was not really showing anybody [my art] but my wife, some family members, and whoever was interested,” he says. “Now I am no longer just painting in a basement for myself but am able to go out there and show other people. I think having Ugly grounded and joining that has been like a massive motivator. … In general, I think that Memphis is such an inspiring place.”
And, Smith says, Memphis has been a supportive place. “My favorite thing is when people look at a piece and it means something to them,” he says. “I guess my hope when someone looks at one of my paintings is not that they get what I’m thinking but that they did something out of it.”
Always, though, even when he didn’t have an audience, he’s been painting, drawing, and doodling, and always, he’s been called to the land. “Growing up in the mountains with a strong familial connection to Appalachia produced a strong emphasis on place and connection to the land,” he says. “How we mark it and how it marks us, and how it serves as a convergence of time, memory, and history, both personal and cultural.”
With that in mind, for this show, Smith has partnered with the Wolf River Conservancy. “We wanted to highlight that connection between art and conservation,” he says. “There’s nothing sadder than when you try to paint something and it goes away.”
The conservancy’s executive director Erik Houston will be a part of the artist’s talk with Smith at the “SWAMP”’s opening reception on Friday, May 30th, 5:30 p.m. Bar Liminia will provide cocktails, and there will be live music by Too Small.
Several organizations have committed a total of $1.5 million to rebuild the Historic Clayborn Temple.
Today, the African American Cultural Heritage Action Fund, Mellon Foundation, and Ford Foundation announced their efforts to preserve the legacy of the temple through restoration.
Brent Leggs, executive director of the National Trust for Historic Preservation’s African American Culture Heritage Action Fund, said this funding is a part of a collective grant from all the organizations.
Officials said this is a part of a larger campaign that will launch in “the coming months” and will garner support from other national foundations.
Yesterday, a press conference was held at the temple on the one month anniversary of the fire. Speakers such as Congressman Steve Cohen, Mayor Paul Young, and Martin Luther King III stressed the historical significance of the temple, especially in the Civil Rights Movement.
“Clayborn Temple is more than just brick and mortar. It’s a sanctuary of purpose, where civil rights and labor leaders came together in the fight for dignity and where community was born,” Martin Luther King III said. “For my father, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., the Memphis Sanitation Workers’ Strike was more than a campaign; it was a calling. Clayborn Temple and its story is a national legacy, and rebuilding is about reclaiming a sacred space that holds the soul of a movement.”
Last week the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives (ATF) announced that the fire was a result of arson.
Congress may be poised to roll back electric vehicle tax credits and institute new annual taxes on electric vehicle owners — moves that could spell trouble for electric vehicle manufacturers in Tennessee and across the country, according to industry organizations.
The U.S. House of Representatives narrowly passed a revised version of President Donald Trump’s budget reconciliation bill last week. The “One Big Beautiful Bill Act” slashes multiple tax credits available to consumers who purchase new, used and commercial electric vehicles (EVs). It also creates a new annual tax for owners of EVs ($250) and hybrid vehicles ($100), money meant to make up for owners’ lack of gas tax contributions toward infrastructure upkeep.
The bill now moves to the U.S. Senate for consideration. Should it pass, the EV tax credits will expire on December 31, 2025, instead of the original December 2032 sunset date.
Industry advocates and analysts warn that axing the tax credits — which can save buyers up to $7,500 on new, American-made and sourced EVs — will kill the industry’s momentum in Tennessee and put investments and jobs at risk.
Tennessee has incentivized its growing electric vehicle industry with hundreds of millions of dollars of state contributions and tax breaks over the last decade. The Tennessee Department of Economic and Community Development estimates more than 20,000 Tennesseans are employed by companies with EV operations, and EV projects have injected $16.2 billion in capital into the state since 2017. In West Tennessee, BlueOval City’s EV assembly line for Ford’s new electric truck is under construction, and BlueOval SK is gearing up for battery production. The massive $5.6 billion campus is expected to reshapeand reinvigorate rural West Tennessee.
The Electrification Coalition, a nonprofit, nonpartisan group advocating for electric vehicle adoption and supportive public policy, called the move a “sledgehammer to Tennessee’s EV industry” in a statement published Tuesday.
“It would eliminate critical tax credits that are spurring private-sector investments, supporting critical mineral supply chain development, creating American jobs and ensuring the United States remains competitive in the global automotive market,” Electrification Coalition executive director Ben Prochazka stated. “Removing these credits would pull the rug out from under the auto and aligned battery industries at a critical time, immediately putting Tennessee jobs at risk. Industry needs policy certainty and consistency to build domestic and allied supply chains.”
Reached by email, the Tennessee Department of Economic & Community Development declined to comment on industry organizations’ concerns.
What does this mean for Tennessee auto manufacturing?
Tennessee’s electric vehicle industry has grown over the last two decades to include manufacturing plants for Ford, Volkswagen, and GM, in addition to multiple companies that produce EV batteries or EV battery components.
Nissan also assembled its all-electric Nissan LEAF at its plant in Smyrna until recently. The 2026 LEAF will be assembled at the company’s Tochigi Plant in Japan, according to a company spokesperson, meaning the company no longer assembles any EVs or hybrid vehicles in Tennessee.
The state has invested hundreds of millions of dollars in the electric vehicle industry over the last decade, according to records kept by the state’s Department of Economic & Community Development. This includes a $78 million grant for the recruitment of Ultium Cells LLC, an EV battery manufacturer, to locate jobs for 1,300 workers in Maury County.
State lawmakers approved a $900 million incentive package for Ford’s BlueOval City campus in 2021, including $500 million in reimbursements for construction work on the campus in Stanton, Tennessee.
While Tennessee’s growth in the industry predates tax incentives created by the Inflation Reduction Act (IRA) under former President Joe Biden to support the production of batteries and battery components in the U.S., those incentives helped companies stand up more cost-competitive electric vehicle plants in the U.S., Harrison Godfrey, managing director of clean energy industry association Advanced Energy United, told Tennessee Lookout in November.
An October Washington Post analysis found Tennessee received an estimated $12.6 billion in investments in clean energy projects since the IRA passed in 2022.
Ford and GM did not respond to requests for comment on the potential rollback of consumer EV tax credits. But the Alliance for Automotive Innovation — an industry group with members from 42 U.S. automotive companies including GM, Ford, Nissan, and Volkswagen — listed support for electric vehicle manufacturing among its 2025 policy priorities.
The organization specifically stated that policymakers should maintain both production tax credits for vehicle manufacturers and “consumer incentives for the purchase of electric vehicles.”
The Nissan spokesperson stated the company’s position on EV tax credits aligns with the policy priorities of Autos Drive America, a trade association representing international automakers in the U.S., including Nissan. Autos Drive America has worked to increase the number of electric vehicles that qualify for the Clean Vehicle Tax Credit since the IRA’s passage in 2022.
The Tennessee Chamber of Commerce did not respond to a request for comment.
Budget politics
In April, Governor Bill Lee celebrated the latest EV-related business expansion in Tennessee: a $54 million investment from automotive supplier Avancez in assembly operations at the BlueOval City Supplier Park.
A spokesperson for Lee did not respond to a request for comment on how EV tax credit rollbacks may impact Tennessee’s continued industry growth.
Lee voiced his support for the budget bill in a post on X on May 21st, saying it will “secure the border, unleash American energy & deliver tax cuts — all measures that guarantee opportunity, security & freedom for the American people.”
The Electrification Coalition urged U.S. senators Marsha Blackburn and Bill Hagerty to “take a more balanced approach” and preserve the tax credits to ensure the U.S. does not fall “further behind” in the global EV market.
Blackburn and Hagerty did not respond to requests for comment.
All of Tennessee’s U.S. Representatives voted in favor of the budget reconciliation bill, except for U.S. Representative Steve Cohen, a Democrat based in Memphis. The bill passed in the House 215-214. All Democratic representatives voted against the bill.
Cohen could not be reached for comment by press time. U.S. Republican representatives DesJarlais, Fleischmann, Green, Harshbarger, Kustoff, Ogles, and Rose did not respond to requests for comment.
U.S. Representative Tim Burchett, a Republican representing East Tennessee, said in an emailed statement to Tennessee Lookout that he voted in favor of the bill due to national debt concerns.
Representative Tim Burchett (Photo: U.S. House of Representatives)
“Our nation is currently $36 trillion in debt,” Burchett stated. “This bill rolls back Biden’s Green New Deal tax credits that we don’t have the money to pay for. I believe in an all-of-the-above energy approach, but we shouldn’t plunge our country deeper in debt as a result.”
Burchett also stated that the new tax for EV and hybrid owners “makes sure all drivers contribute towards our nation’s infrastructure,” as “electric vehicle owners don’t pay a gas tax which is used to fund vital highway projects.”
The Electrification Coalition and Nissan both expressed support for EV and hybrid drivers paying their “fair share” toward infrastructure, but said the new tax level is more punitive than practical.
“We believe the new annual tax should be more in line with the gas tax equivalent [$150] rather than being set at a level that seems punitive,” the Nissan spokesperson stated.
“While all drivers should pay their fair share, this proposal is nearly three times what the average driver pays in federal gas taxes, which have not covered the cost of infrastructure for nearly 20 years,” Prochazka, of the Electrification Coalition, stated. “Rather than imposing a punitive tax on a subset of Americans, Congress should identify a fuel-neutral solution to the Highway Trust Fund’s structural insolvency.”
Tennessee Lookout is part of States Newsroom, a nonprofit news network supported by grants and a coalition of donors as a 501c(3) public charity. Tennessee Lookout maintains editorial independence. Contact Editor Holly McCall for questions: info@tennesseelookout.com.
Memphis Area Transit Authority (MATA) officials unanimously voted to approve the agency’s operating budget of more than $59 million for Fiscal Year 2026.
Commissioners voted during Wednesday’s board meeting, following last week’s committee meeting. The current budget encompasses a number of things, such as fixed route and trolley operations, maintenance on fixed routes and agency buildings, and safety.
The presented budget also included a reduction in operating revenue and federal grant money, with an increase in state grants. The city of Memphis has historically been the agency’s primary funding source. In addition to city funds, the agency expects to pull revenue from their operations as well as state and federal funds.
John Lewis, MATA’s interim CEO, said one of the issues they came across in crafting the budget was ensuring that the agency can still support the needs of their ridership in a “fiscally responsible manner” with a “balanced budget.”
“This budget is based on Mayor [Paul] Young’s proposed budget,” Lewis said. “If those levels change — hopefully they would change in a positive manner — then we would bring back an amended budget for the MATA board.”
Commissioner Anna McQuiston added that the current budget does not include an increase in frequency from MATAplus and other main line services. She also said there would be no significant dent in the debt they have.
To address this, the board has requested that the Memphis City Council increase their yearly budget to $45 million, instead of $30 million.
The council previously discussed an amendment that would cut the agency’s funding in half to approximately $15.6 million. Council members discussed giving the agency the rest of the money when they are able to present a budget and an audit, which they have been requesting for a year.
“I think MATA’s done poor budgeting,” councilwoman Jerri Green said during the May 21st council meeting. “I can no longer continue to write a blank check up here and feel like I’m doing my duty to the public. I understand what their needs are — we support public transportation, but we have to have accountability and visibility for the public on that.”
During the agency’s Finance and Audit Committee Meeting on May 22nd, Lewis said leadership had been working on the FY ’26 budget over the last few months. Lewis said these discussions started by addressing a $3.5 million deficit.
To alleviate this, officials recommended eliminating the Groove service, locking in fuel service through contracts, and cutting overtime. Lewis also mentioned cutting back on “professional and technical services.”
He added that these recommendations, in addition to others, are projected to save the agency $3.6 million, putting MATA in a budget surplus and resulting in a balanced budget.
McQuiston mentioned that within the $30 million budget, they are repairing the steel-wheeled trolleys, however it does not include operating and staffing costs.
Officials also said they are planning a public announcement regarding rubber-tire trolley services on Main Street, within “a week to ten days” of Wednesday’s meeting. Lewis said they will be running an “adjusted service” schedule with a lower level of frequency.
Memorial Day is behind us, school’s out, and it’s getting warm outside. Chris McCoy talks about the Summer Issue with Memphis Flyer Editor Shara Clark. Plus, Rick and Morty Season 8 review!
The Kosten Foundation's Kick It Pickleball Tournament
The Kosten Foundation and the Kick It Pickleball Tournament kicked it during the three-day event, held May 16th, 17th, and 18th at Shadowlawn Park in Arlington, Tennessee.
According to a news release, close to $50,000 was raised “to help fund pancreatic cancer research, thanks to the local pickleball community, tournament participants, generous sponsors, silent auction, and giveaway donors, volunteers, and supporters.”
And, it says, “The Kick It Pickleball Tournament accommodates players across various divisions, including men’s doubles, women’s doubles, and mixed doubles, all structured in a round-robin format. The tournament welcomes participants of varying skill levels, ensuring an exclusive and engaging experience for all attendees.”
The release says since 2023, the Kosten Foundation “has donated more than $3 million to pancreatic cancer research. The Foundation’s latest round of research grants helped fund research teams in Dallas, New York City, and Edinburg, Texas. In an add-on to its research efforts, the Kosten Foundation hosts the only free, in-person, and virtual pancreatic cancer support group in the Mid-South.”
Poo poo to the Poop Rule (Photo: Andy | Adobe Stock)
Sometimes I just get so tired of social media — tired of trying to have a reasonable discussion with someone who quotes Tulsi Gabbard unironically, tired of having to change “relevant comments” to “all comments” on every Facebook post, tired of seeing AI-created articles and pictures designed to get me to scroll endlessly (“21 Boomer Skills You Don’t Need Anymore”), tired of endless, intrusive “reels” designed to tweak my apparent algorithmic interests — guitar, chess, French, fly-fishing, etc. On it goes and on it goes.
It doesn’t help that my job, such as it is, requires me to be on my computer for several hours a day. When I’m not editing Flyer website posts or cyber-snarking with my co-workers on our Slack channel, I sometimes find myself just stupidly reading stupid stuff on the never-ending internet. (For this reason, I keep my Gibson on a stand by my desk and when I catch myself getting glassy-eyed, I grab it and continue my months-long obsession with learning how to finger-pick Lindsey Buckingham’s “Never Going Back Again,” which is the world’s most difficult guitar song. When my fingers get tired, I play Bob Dylan songs, which are easy. Boomer skills!) But I digress …
Anyway, it was during one of those mindless internet scrolling sessions that I came across a Washington Post article about “the poop rule,” a trendy new method that supposedly helps people who are “paralyzed by indecision” to declutter their lives. Here’s how it works, according to Amanda Johnson, a content creator who focuses on cleaning and organizing: “The poop rule is simple,” she says. “While decluttering, ask yourself, ‘If something was covered in poop, would I still keep it?’ It’s a fun, no-nonsense way to decide what really adds value to your life.”
Well, first I’m immediately put off by the “content creator” appellation. What is that, exactly, and why has Facebook recently determined that I too am a “content creator” and labeled me as such without my permission? Is a content creator just someone who creates stuff to read or look at online? Or does it maybe mean that it’s someone who helps people become more content? Never mind, I know the answer, but that’s how my brain works sometimes. I prefer to think of myself as a discontent creator.
Secondly, “no nonsense”? C’mon, the “poop rule” is the biggest pile of nonsensical, er, crap, I’ve seen in a long time. Amanda says if you can’t decide whether to hang on to that old chest of drawers in the attic, imagine it covered in, well, shit. If you would be willing to clean off the dresser, then it’s worth keeping. Are these people in kindergarten?
Sorry, but I’m imagining that “poop rule” story covered in poop and I don’t think I would bother to clean it off. What silliness. I’m beginning to suspect that entire article, including Amanda herself, was AI-generated. But maybe it’s an age thing. I’ve found that in my dotage I have less and less hesitancy about just tossing things out, or better said, taking the stuff to Goodwill and making it someone else’s problem — or treasure, as the case may be.
We’re in the process of moving from a house we’ve inhabited for 18 years, and let me tell you, going through closets and drawers and all those boxes in the attic is a cathartic experience. You discover so much pointless stuff — mementos that once seemed worth keeping and that have spent, say, the last 15 years in a dust-covered box on the back of a closet shelf. You realize that not only did you not miss that stuff, you had totally forgotten it existed. Maybe instead of a poop rule, we should instigate a “dust rule.” If it’s covered in dust, get rid of it. From dust to dust, etc. I should probably create some content about that.
The bottom line is that the longer I hang around this planet, the more I realize that the only things that are truly irreplaceable are your friends and family and your furry creatures. Everything else is just stuff. And that’s the straight poop.
