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BILL LOVES ELVIS

Or at least his cooking. Writing for the Arkansas Democrat Gazette, Elisa Crouch reported that during his eight years in office former President William Jefferson Clinton “amassed 625 tons of papers, photographs, and gifts … including an Elvis Presley Cookbook.” As of yet no special prosecutor has been appointed to determine whether the cookbook was a bribe from the peanut-butter-and-jelly-doughnut lobby. Krispy-Kreme’s D.C. representatives could not be reached for comment.