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BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE LETTERS J, I, H, A, AND D

Just when you thought Nightmarez on the Square was going to be the most terrifying event of the Halloween weekend, along comes something even scarier. The Children s Television Workshop s traveling extravaganza Sesame Street Live will be pulling into town Thursday,October 25th, for a four-day run at The Pyramid. Cookie Monster will be on hand to gobble cookies. Big Bird will flap his flightless wings, and Oscar the Grouch will play with his pet worm.

But what about the recently maligned Bert? Will the cranky yellow muppet dare to show his pointy head in public after recent AP photographs connected him to terrorist mastermind Osama bin Laden? According to press materials he will. The muppet s official bio suggests that he s not such a bad guy after all, claiming Bert is analytical, responsible, and the complete and utter opposite of his eccentric roommate and best friend, Ernie. When he s not playing checkers with his pigeon Bernice, Bert, a true model of dignity and decorum, spends his days collecting bottle caps and paper clips. Collecting bottle caps and paper clips, huh? We ve heard a muppet can do a lot of damage with bottle caps and paper clips, providing he has the know-how.