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NOTES FROM ABROAD

Has the extraordinary expense of Memphis’ light-rail construction got you down? Are you an angry taxpayer certain you’ll be paying for the cost of a new arena? Well, just be happy you don’t live in Kentucky. On March 23rd, a resolution was introduced in the Kentucky House of Representatives to create and arm a Kentucky navy and to acquire the U.S.S. Louisville 688 VLS Class Submarine. Why, you might ask? To patrol the Ohio River and destroy any and all casino riverboats the submarine may encounter, naturally. And why is that” Well, according to the resolution, “the siren song of payola issuing from the discordant calliopes of these gambling vessels has led thousands of Kentucky citizens to vast disapointment and woe.”