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SHAKY CITY

Dateline Memphis: This month, a team of scientists studying the New Madrid Fault intend to set off a series of explosions buried deep within the sediments of the Mississippi River to determine how seismic waves would move through deep sand and clay should a major earthquake actually occur in our region. In a related story, a team of mad scientists will be rerouting a portion of the river, igniting gasoline fires, and releasing locusts in order to determine how we might deal with flood, fire, and pestilence.