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And with so many deadbeat dads around too: Officers responded to a disturbance March 18th after a man came to a residence on Clinchport Circle demanding to see his child. The child’s grandmother told the man that the child was not his and ordered him to leave the property. The child’s mother reiterated to police that the child was not fathered by the man.

We don’t even know where to begin: A woman was repairing a tile/wood floor in an apartment on Claybrook when a man who was painting in the same apartment said, “I am gonna underbid your a– to get the floor job.” The woman told him to go ahead but later heard him on the phone telling somebody, “If I don’t get this floor job I’ll just beat this b—- with my crutch.” The woman went home and called police.

Ever heard of Parcheesi? Scrabble? Sports? On March 19th, police received a wounding call from a man on Union. He told them that the night before he had been playing in the street with a friend. The friend threw his knife in the air, caught it, then swung it around, and lost his grip. The knife caught the man on the wrist and the two friends went to The Med.

So, ordinary people own those things? A man called police March 17th after buying five ATM machines for about $28,000. The man said he had received two of the machines and installed them in bars. But both machines were taken by another man, who had bought the same two machines from the suspect. The man never received his other three machines.

Compiled by Mary Cashiola