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Could it be? Is it remotely possible that every time two men exchange vows a chemical reaction occurs causing heterosexual wedding rings to explode? Nearly 5,500 people attended a Rally for Traditional Marriage in Tupelo last week to hear speakers hold forth on the manifold evils of same-sex marriage. Mississippi congressman Roger Wicker, who must have been using The Bible Code or some other arcane means of determining the social fallout of events yet to come, claimed that redefining marriage laws would cheapen the institution, leading to lower marriage rates among heterosexuals and more single-parent families.

The Rev. William Owens of Memphis, who serves as the president of the Coalition of African-American Pastors, kicked the criticism up a notch, claiming that proponents of same-sex unions have pirated the civil rights movement. Owens announced, I was born black and I m going to die black. I didn t choose to be black. They [gays] are choosing to do what they are doing. Even if you buy into the dubious theory that the civil rights movement is specifically about color, there s always this guy to counter Owens theory.

He s been white for a while now, and that hasn t affected the African-American birthrate one little bit, now has it?

Plante: How It Looks