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OH, YOU STARTED SOMETHING

From Monday’s Commercial Appeal, page one: “When you open your newspaper Tuesday the features section, now named Appeal most days, will look a lot different. And it will be called M. The new redesigned M will more closely focus on women. Young Women. Suburban Women. African-American Women. People who sometimes don’t find enough in the newspaper just for them.”

Young, Suburban, and African-American, a veritable taxonomy of womanhood. So why call the section M, instead of W? According to the CA, “M stands for some of the things women are interested in: Motherhood, Men, Money.” With that in mind, the Pesky Fly and his Flyettes have assembled quite a long list of M-words that reflect the interests of the fairer sex.

Malls, mistletoe, methamphetamines, modesty, Midol, miracles, motion of the ocean, megalomania, Mary Tyler Moore, monthly checks from my baby-daddy, migrant workers, the missionary position, make-up, models, multiple O’s, migraines, Malabars, marble counter tops, molls with machine guns, maxi-pads, mold and mildew, milk, mini-pads, menopause, mice, margarine (and its relationship to butter), manicures, morbid obesity, miniskirts, mini-Coopers, mopeds, minty-fresh breath, meat, the moon, monthly visitor, merkins, mobile homes, minivans, magazines like O, and last but certainly not least, monkey-sex, red-hot and all the time (except for when they have migraines).

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