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the Cheat Sheet

News you need to know

1. Senator John Ford blames the “white media” for what he considers negative stories about child-support payments, multiple families, legal-residency questions, and campaign funds. White media? Hmmm. Something tells us he’s not griping about the color of the paper it’s printed on.

2. Mayor Willie Herenton offers to resign and “go fishing” if the city and county governments consolidate. Judging from our letters to the editor, some people would be happy to have Memphis merge with Itta Bena, Mississippi, if the mayor would step down.

3. The Grammy Awards present a Lifetime Achievement Award — Grammy’s highest honor — to Jerry Lee Lewis. Other recipients include Led Zeppelin and the Staple Singers. Goodness gracious! The Killer is certainly in good company.

4. With apologies to Jerry Lee, an earthquake “shakes our nerves and rattles our brains.” We’d like to remind readers that it happened just one week after the Flyer published a cover story called “Earthquake.” Don’t mess with us, people.

5. Coors Brewery announces it will close its Memphis plant in two years. With all the drinkin’ we see around us, day in and day out (don’t make us name names), how on earth can the Bluff City lose a brewery?