Heartburn
The time has come once again to say goodbye to February, the cold, wet stretch of winter that, for reasons that defy human imagination, has become the month in which we celebrate our never-ending love affair with love. Thank goodness. Not only will there be some real chocolate bargains, Shelby County mayor A C Wharton will no longer have to take grief over this past month’s issue of The Best Times. The February cover of TBT, a monthly tabloid for “active mature Mid-Southerners,” featured pictures of seven couples who’ve had successful, decades-long marriages. There was one picture of a happy-looking Wharton standing alongside a happy-looking lady who unhappily is not Mrs. A C Wharton. Sure, it’s only an innocent error, but isn’t February hard enough as it is without members of the County Commission singing “Boom-chicka-bow-wow” every time you walk into a room?
Beer & Shots
The GOP majority in Nashville very nearly ensures that an often-defeated bill allowing people to bring concealed guns into places serving alcohol will finally pass. Last week, a new version of the legislation was recommended with a provision forbidding guns after 11 p.m., when bar patrons go from drunk and unruly to plastered and unreasonable.
War is Peace
This is the most purely Memphis headline the Fly-Team has stumbled across in a long while: “Jerry Lawler Wrestles to Stop Violence.” According to MyFox Memphis, the city’s most famous grappler is taking on his toughest challenger yet: crime!
Lawler will fight against and alongside such time-tested veterans of the ring as “Psycho” Sid Vicious, “Outlaw” Don Bass, and the one and only Bill “Superstar” Dundee, in a loser-gets-a-hip-replacement bout at Whitehaven High School benefiting a program called Freedom from Unnecessary Negatives.