The economy is so bad that…
I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can no longer afford batteries.
CEOs are now playing miniature golf.
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
I saw a Mormon with only one wife.
I bought a toaster oven and my free gift was a bank.
Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
Motel Six won’t leave the light on anymore.
A picture is now only worth 200 words.
They renamed Wall Street “Wal-Mart Street.”
When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali
pirates.
And, finally…
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in
Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck…
