You Can Own the Key to the City of Memphis Presented to Phyllis Diller by Mayor W.W. Herenton

But you’ve got to act fast because, at posting time, there’s only six hours left before the auction ends.

That’s right. You can own a key to the city of Memphis.

• Also cranks most Buicks

And not just any key, but the one presented to Phyllis Diller by Willie Herenton. The Phyllis Diller. The Willie Herenton.

• “HAAAAAAAAA!” — Phyllis Diller

Sorry, this next photo isn’t actually the key that’s for sale which may or may not come with a case. It’s another key given to someone else at around the same time. But really, you’ve got to see this elegant ignition tickler as it was intended to be seen. No ribbons. No frills. Just one helluva damn key.

• Hot

Also contained in this lot: a certificate of honorary citizenship of Shelby Co. presented to Diller. It’s dated 1988, a few years before Herenton took office, so it’s probably not related to the key in any way.

The Memphis Key is currently going for $81. That’s $7 more than Diller’s keys to Cheasaning, MI, and Havre De Grace, MD.

• Memphis is #1 (when it comes to Keys to the City presented to Phyllis Diller)