Author: Ashley Insong

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Opinion The Last Word

When it’s Dark Outside and We Feel the Blues

Symptoms of seasonal depression include feelings of hopelessness and mood changes. (Photo: Prostockstudio | Dreamstime.com)

Through the fall and winter months, I watched myself and people around me go through the motions. Shorter days tricked my mind into thinking that bedtime was earlier than usual. Tree branches have become bare, and flowers don’t have the strength to bloom in such cold air. Come January and schools are out due to inclement weather conditions.

Freezing temperatures kept me cooped up in my apartment where I knew I could rely on a heater and a cozy blanket to keep me warm. I watched as fewer people left the comforts of their homes to step outside to jog or walk their dogs. I found myself feeling lethargic at work and home. I was there to see a close friend of mine experience sudden feelings of deep sadness and anger, and another who dreaded the holiday season to come because of past trauma.

“I feel like this every year during the fall and winter,” said my friend who is diagnosed with seasonal depression, also known as seasonal affective disorder (SAD). “I start to feel sad, hopeless, and … not myself. I don’t have the motivation to do anything and I start to isolate myself,” she continued. After listening to her story, I realized that I was having a similar experience.

Mental Health America describes seasonal depression as a subtype of depression that occurs around the same time every year. Some symptoms of SAD include feelings of hopelessness, trouble sleeping, oversleeping, weight gain, and mood changes. It’s something that affects about 5 percent of the U.S. population, or 10 million people, annually. It mostly occurs during the fall and winter months but may sometimes happen during the spring and the summer.

It only makes sense that reduced sunlight and cold weather could lead to sadness and depression. In fact, according to Mental Health America, “The reduced level of sunlight in the fall and winter months may affect an individual’s serotonin, a neurotransmitter that affects mood. Lower levels of serotonin are linked to depression.” Sunlight also affects our levels of melatonin, a hormone related to sleep. In the dark, levels of melatonin increase. In other words, Daylight Saving Time can interrupt our internal clock and sleep patterns.

However, reduced sunlight and cold temperatures aren’t the only factors that trigger feelings of depression. The fall and winter months are associated with the holidays. We see it everywhere through bright, colorful Christmas lights, malls packed with gift-shoppers, stores advertising hot chocolate, holiday-themed drinks, and more. For most people, this period brings feelings of joy and happiness, but for others, the holidays are a trigger, causing something called the “Holiday Blues.”

The Holiday Blues is a type of depression that occurs only during the holiday season and is caused by many different factors. For those who are away from family and friends or don’t have a family to spend time with, the holidays can feel lonely. For those who want to give presents to loved ones but are struggling financially, the holidays may be a time of hardship and stress. For those who work in an industry where the holidays mean more hours or an increase in demand for labor, this can be a tense and tiring time. Said to be very similar to SAD, the difference between the two is distinguished by duration and severity of symptoms. According to Verywell Mind, “The holiday blues start around November or December and lift shortly after the new year ends.” On the other hand, SAD typically lasts longer, with symptoms dissipating through the spring and the summer.

It’s impossible to avoid mother nature’s seasons and the darkness, which begins to take up most of our days. Seasonal depression and the holiday blues are much more common yet more complex than I thought they would be, and it doesn’t help that the contagious Covid-19 Omicron variant is forcing more and more people inside. Some say that light or phototherapy aids in preventing and treating the symptoms of SAD. For others, therapy or antidepressants help.

When my friend asks me about what she can do to be happy again, I think about all the things I know that can help boost dopamine and serotonin in our bodies. I am no expert, but I could tell her that exercising will help, that she could try getting some sun, listening to music, and meditating. But what made the most sense to me was remembering that this was just a season. To remember that although things die in the winter, things will always bloom again in the spring. Holding that thought in my mind, I respond and I say, “This, too, shall pass.”

Ashley Insong is a starving artist who is working toward being a best-selling author while teaching full-time and freelance writing part-time. She enjoys singing and writing poetry and short stories about love, self-discovery, and her Filipina heritage.

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Music Music Features

Music to Soothe the Soul: Cameron Bethany Performs at the Levitt Shell

Cameron Bethany (Credit: Darnell Allen)

Most Memphians might recognize artist Cameron Bethany as the son of a Southern preacher with an extraordinary voice — but Bethany’s unique musical and life experiences have deeply shaped who he is today. His music, his lyrics, his style, his personality, and his passion for the arts have all been influenced by his ever-changing life journey. “It’s hard to measure who I was back then and who I am today,” says Bethany. “My life is always changing, and often, as people, we don’t even realize when we’re in those changes.”

The Covid-19 pandemic is a concrete example of one of those major life changes. “I released any idea of a plan because if there’s one thing 2020 has taught me, it’s that we don’t have control over what’s going to happen,” Bethany says. The pandemic has put many live-music events on hold, and after three years, Bethany returns to give Memphians a captivating and nerve-calming experience at the Levitt Shell on Friday, October 15th, at 7 p.m.

The secular artist’s love for music began at church and only bloomed from there. Born into a religious family, church was more than just a Sunday service for Bethany; it was a lifestyle. “We were in church two or three times a week. Choir, bible study, Thursday service, Saturday choir rehearsal, and then Sunday — church. I was literally there … all day,” he says.

Although gospel music was the main soundtrack to Bethany’s life, his naturally free-spirited nature led him to venture out into other music genres. But it wasn’t easy. Around the age of 20, Bethany experienced an internal struggle when he began performing and doing gigs outside of church. “I would do the gigs and hurry up out of town,” Bethany remembers. “I was afraid that someone would tell my parents that they saw me performing music that wasn’t gospel.” Worried by the idea that secular music was somehow “wrong,” Bethany was taken by surprise when he discovered that his mother was actually enthusiastic and supportive.

While Bethany continued to do music part-time, a traumatic experience pushed him to leave the typical 9-5 job behind. “I experienced a murder where a resident took his sister’s and girlfriend’s life and then took his own life. It was that year that I said, ‘Enough is enough,’” Bethany says. “I don’t think I fully recovered from the shock of that.” After this experience, Bethany took some time to heal, tap deeper into himself, and think about his truest desires.

In 2017, Bethany’s music career continued to take off with the release of his album YouMakeMeNervous. The album paints a picture of his transformative journey of healing and self-discovery. “I was going through some rough things in life,” he says. “I was trying to find my way as an adult, and the album incorporates my journey of navigating love, my identity, my sexuality, trials I faced with the world — period.”

Bethany hopes that audiences will feel the rawness of his personality and expression through his performance. “I want it to be a nerve-calming experience. I want my audience to feel enchanted when they hear my music,” says Bethany. “I want them to feel my vulnerability.”

In addition to performing new original music and covers from his favorite songs and artists, Bethany has other projects currently in the works. The multifaceted artist is honing his craft in digital and graphic art, which will be sold at the Levitt Shell through Unapologetic. He is also hoping to create an animated television show inspired by the different zodiac signs.

“Ultimately, I want to make great music, great sounds, great art and put that out into the world,” Bethany says. “This is something that I’ve been yearning for. This is something I was called to do.”

Categories
Opinion The Last Word

Confessions of a First-Year Teacher During a Pandemic

Photo: Liquoricelegs | Dreamstime.com

Ask any experienced or veteran teacher for advice and one thing you will always hear is “never take work home with you.” But what nobody really says is that avoiding “taking work home with you” also means trying not to carry the weight of secondary trauma, PTSD, anxiety, insomnia, and constantly changing policies, all of which are proven to affect teachers at high rates. Sure, teachers can stay at school after hours to finish grading papers or complete lesson plans for the week, but part of being a teacher, especially during the Covid-19 pandemic, also means taking extra time and effort to show ourselves grace, focus on our mental health, and practice self-care.

During the third week of school, I told my writing class that they would have homework to make up for the work we could not get to in class. Maybe I made the wrong move.

“Ms. Insong, please don’t give me any more homework,” a student said to me while in tears. “There is no one to help me with my homework at home. My big sister isn’t here anymore.”

“What do you mean?” I responded.

“She got Covid and passed away in May. She was the only one who could help me with my homework. Now I don’t have anyone to help me with my homework.”

She continued to cry. My eyes began to water. After my class left to transition, I stepped out of class to unload the bricks that weighed on my chest. I cried, too.

Family members are in the hospital. Loved ones have suddenly passed away. Parents have lost their jobs. People are struggling to make ends meet during this strangely uncertain time. We are forced to accept and adjust to today’s reality. Students and teachers are afraid of more than just the virus. We are also afraid of the effects it can have on our futures. For students, a loss of a parent or guardian can lead to other challenges such as loss of household income and homelessness — just to name a few. If students don’t show up to school, teachers could possibly lose their jobs. Students are trying to stay focused while coping with issues beyond the classroom, and teachers are trying their best to do the same while finding ways to help students regulate their emotions and make up for the time lost in the classroom.

Hearing the reality firsthand, especially from children, can take a toll on school workers. I found that taking care of my mental health and practicing self-care is essential to staying healthy and present in the classroom. In the media, self-care is often painted as having a glass of wine after a long day at work or taking yourself out to dinner — and although these are all enjoyable pleasures, getting wine drunk for the night won’t solve all your problems. Self-care is a daily practice that encompasses much more than that. Just like therapy, it won’t work unless you stay committed and you do the work. According to the National Institute of Mental Illness (NAMI), there are six elements of self-care: physical, psychological, emotional, spiritual, social, and professional. It is recommended that people spend at least two to three hours a day practicing self-care. One of the biggest and most effective acts of self-care is saying “no” and maintaining healthy boundaries.

Setting boundaries in the professional setting can look like saying no to extra tasks when you know you already have a lot on your plate. Even as a professional, working hard to reach deadlines and objectives, it’s important to remember that it is okay to pause and breathe. Step out of the classroom for a few minutes when you are overwhelmed. Remember that whatever energy you bring into the classroom, your students will feel, too (and vice versa).

With the mental and emotional effects of Covid-19 in mind, some schools in Memphis have taken action to make social-emotional learning (SEL) a part of daily lessons. The Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL) states that “SEL is the process through which all young people and adults acquire and apply the knowledge, skills, and attitudes to develop healthy identities, manage emotions and achieve personal and collective goals, feel and show empathy for others, establish and maintain supportive relationships, and make responsible and caring decisions.” SEL is proven to lead to long-term positive outcomes.

In the classroom, social-emotional learning can be as simple as “temperature checks” in the morning. In other words, asking students how they are feeling this morning, acknowledging those feelings, and then giving them the tools to self-regulate.

One thing I wish I learned as a child, is that it is okay to not be okay. So yes, let’s teach our children and students that. We are overwhelmed. We are tired. We are afraid. We are human. Students and teachers aren’t always going to show up to the classroom happy, prepared, and focused every single day. Some days, we will be exhausted. Some days, we will cry. Some days, we will be angry and frustrated and some won’t understand why. But if we give our students a safe space to express themselves, if we give them the tools to cope with their emotions in healthy ways, and if we, as teachers, take the time to be open-minded, flexible, and do the inner work, too, we can grow and learn to be okay together.

Ashley Insong is a starving artist who is working toward being a best-selling author while teaching full-time and freelance writing part-time. She enjoys singing and writing poetry and short stories about love, self-discovery, and her Filipina heritage.