Author: Bruce VanWyngarden

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At Large Opinion

The Big E

No rapture. No chicken-wing stampede. What was all the hoopla for? (Photo: Bruce VanWyngarden)

You’re reading this, so I guess it’s safe to say you survived Monday’s great solar eclipse. What an extravaganza! I am hard-pressed to remember any news event that generated so much hype, so much blathering punditry, so many hours of television coverage, so much social media content as did the Big E.

There were countless maps (interactive and static) of the eclipse’s path, helpful hints on how to watch it, where to go for the best vistas, where to buy viewing glasses, how to photograph it, where to sleep, where to eat, even how to make a pinhole device from a shoebox. It was the most ballyhooed three-and-a-half minutes since Donald Trump had sex with Stormy Daniels.

The media breathlessly reported about how lodging and food services and gas stations in the path of the darkness all across the country would be overcrowded and overbooked. Scary, scary! Governor Sarah “Colonel” Sanders of Arkansas even declared a three-day state of emergency for her state (three days!), and it had nothing to do with the outfit she was wearing.

And, of course, the eclipse came with a heaping dollop of wasabi-level crazy sauce from the MAGA crowd. Georgia congresswoman and professional troll Marjorie Taylor Greene, who once claimed that Jewish space lasers caused wildfires in California, added a side of supernatural hysteria to her usual wacky brain-salad, posting on X that the earthquake in New Jersey and the then-forthcoming eclipse were messages from God (probably not the Jewish one): “God is sending America strong signs to tell us to repent,” she wrote. “Earthquakes and eclipses and many more things to come. I pray that our country listens.”

Scientists helpfully pointed out that the eclipse was predicted hundreds of years ago, so it probably wasn’t caused by a fabulous gay wedding in Atlanta. Scientists also noted that “earthquakes occur naturally and happen (on average) more than 30 times a day across the world.”

But wait, there’s more nuttery to be had. What major event in the United States would be complete without the paranoid vocal stylings of InfoWars’ Alex Jones, who announced that Monday’s shadowy spectacle was merely a “dress rehearsal” for martial law in the U.S. How? I don’t know. It’s Alex Jones, people. He doesn’t make sense. He makes noise. And lots of money off of morons.

Speaking of which … Let us not forget about the religious weirdos who saw the eclipse as the coming of the Rapture, wherein all true Christians would be whooshed up to Heaven, leaving us heathens to stumble around in the dark and party with Satan, I guess. Some of this silliness was apparently spawned by the fact that there was going to be totality over the town of Rapture, Indiana. Right. It was also dark over Buffalo but nobody was predicting a chicken-wing stampede.

And I do find some irony in the fact that evangelicals have warned us about the coming of the Antichrist for hundreds of years, and then when he finally appears, they rush out to buy a $70 Bible from him. Just sayin’. And speaking of that guy … I’m shocked that the former president didn’t notice that the eclipse just waltzed over the Mexican border into Texas in broad daylight without a bit of interference from Snarky Joe, or whatever Trump’s calling him now. What a scandal!

Honestly, none of this should be a surprise. Eclipses, earthquakes, and other natural phenomena have always sparked religious and conspiratorial theories. And there have always been people who seek to turn such events to their advantage for money or power. The difference now is that those humans are aided by our “LOOK OVER HERE!” media — social and otherwise.

Finally, I have to say, as one who took in our 98-percent Memphis eclipse from my back deck: That thing was way-the-hell overrated. It got a little gloomy for five minutes, but birds kept singing, traffic kept driving, nobody got raptured, and nobody went to Hell (that I’m aware of). Maybe, just maybe, we’ll learn something this time. Maybe we’ll stop and take a beat, possibly even pause and think about how this thing was over-hyped by media sources that use emotion, fear, and sensationalism to gain our eyeballs, no matter the cost to their credibility. Maybe, just maybe, we’ll finally begin to see the light.

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At Large Opinion

Games People Play

I went with “wazoo” on my fourth guess. I should have gone with “taboo,” and because of that little miscalculation, it took me five tries to get Sunday’s Wordle instead of four. Dang.

A group of friends and I play The New York Times’ popular word game every day and share our scores with accompanying visuals. There are five of us, in different cities, connected mostly by school and family ties and a sense of humor. Our gimmick is that we take turns picking a different starter word every day, and quite often those words are, well, let’s just say, not geared to an easy solution.

Wordle aficionados know that you should start with a word like “arise” or “audio,” something with lots of vowels and/or often-used consonants. Our group doesn’t go that route (a decent starter word, by the way). For instance, “grams” is a terrible starter, but when one of our members announces she’s going to become a grandmother, that kind of stuff happens, and we roll with it. Nobody has suggested “zyxin” or “geese” yet, but it’s probably just a matter of time.

We humans love puzzles, and there is some evidence that the recent pandemic that kept us all mostly homebound for months just exacerbated those tendencies, not that we needed a push. Think of the great variety of such activities we engage in: crosswords, crypto-quotes, sudoku, mazes, find the difference between pictures, jigsaw puzzles, Scrabble, Jumbo. We watch television game shows like Jeopardy!, Wheel of Fortune, and Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? We play zillions of games on our phones — at least everyone in my doctor’s office does.

These little self-imposed challenges give us the thrill of the chase and the endorphin lift of success that follows overcoming an obstacle — attaining that “aha” moment. It’s no accident, I think, that most of the games we pursue are solitary endeavors. We’re testing ourselves, our brains, our thought processes, and finally, if we succeed, enjoying the dopamine of success. It’s addictive.

My morning routine goes as follows: Feed the dogs, make coffee, then sit down on the couch with my phone and do — in order — the Times’ Wordle puzzle, Mini-Crossword, Connections, Spelling Bee, and Letter Boxed. Then I hit The Washington Post website and do their Mini-Crossword and Keyword (one word to spell ’em all!). I’m done in 30 minutes or less, but if I miss a morning I feel incomplete. Some of you can relate, I’m sure.

It may make you feel better about your own gaming rituals to learn that human beings’ love for puzzles is rooted in more than just finding a diversion. It’s bred into our genes. Psychologists say that the urge to solve puzzles comes from human beings’ instinctual proclivity for pattern-finding, and for using those patterns to try to find solutions to problems.

And it goes even deeper than that. Humans have historically used the patterns they’ve observed in nature to search for the very meaning of life itself, to plumb its mysteries and magic. Our ancestors saw patterns in the stars and planets of the night sky, in the phases of the moon, in the duration of the sun’s rise and fall. They observed the rhythm of the seasons, the greening of the spring and the brown fade to winter, the solstices, the yearly cycle of life on Earth. They discovered the big picture, created calendars, clocks, began to measure the passage of time.

The discovery of these patterns led to the creation of gods, legends, and myths, as humans strove to understand their world and to give it meaning beyond the simple arc of life and death. Our coming to understand the seasons of the earth and the patterns in the night sky is why we have recurring annual celebrations, and why most of them are spiritual or religious in nature.

Seeing the patterns in life — whether it’s in a sunset of cirrus clouds, in the rings of a fallen oak, or the nebula of a sunflower blossom — can bring a sense of balance, a respite, a reassurance that all is not chaos and disorder. There is beauty and symmetry to be found in the course of every day that we’re alive and breathing, if we pause long enough to look for it. It can even be found in the simplest of puzzles. Today’s word is “pause.”

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At Large Opinion

The Banality of Evil

Kyle Rittenhouse (Photo: Kyle Rittenhouse via X)

He was small, scrawny, middle-aged, with a receding hairline and ill-fitting teeth. His name was Otto Adolf Eichmann and he was on trial for his life, charged with facilitating the murder of 5,000,000 Jews in extermination camps in the years preceding, and during, World War II.

Israeli Mossad special forces had tracked Eichmann down in Argentina in 1960, where he’d fled after the war, and brought him back to face charges in Jerusalem. Eichmann’s defense became known as “superior orders,” also known as the Nuremberg defense or “just following orders.” It is a court plea that a person should not be considered guilty of committing a crime that was ordered by a superior officer or official.

Eichmann’s defense team argued that under the Nazi legal system the deeds he was accused of were not crimes but “acts of state” that it had been his duty to obey. His conscience was clear because his conscience required him to follow orders.

Eichmann said that he would have had a bad conscience only if he had not done what he had been ordered to do — to ship millions of men, women, and children to their death with meticulous care and efficiency.

“I will jump into my grave laughing,” he said, “because the fact that I have the death of five million enemies of the Reich on my conscience gives me extraordinary satisfaction.”

I have been reading lately the 1963 account of Eichmann’s trial in The New Yorker by Hannah Arendt, subtitled “A Report on the Banality of Evil.” I am struck again and again by the “ordinariness” of Eichmann, an aimless, unambitious young man who stumbled up the ladder in the Nazi hierarchy and found himself assigned to the most horrific task imaginable — ruthlessly exterminating millions of men, women, and children. It’s a textbook lesson in how human beings can rationalize pretty much anything.

In August 2020, 17-year-old Kyle Howard Rittenhouse traveled from his home in northern Illinois to Kenosha, Wisconsin, where there was unrest following the shooting by police there of a man named Jacob Blake. Rittenhouse was armed with an AR-15-style rifle and joined a group of armed citizens in Kenosha who said they were there to protect local businesses.

During the unrest that night, Rittenhouse said a man chased him into a parking lot and grabbed the barrel of his rifle, whereupon he fatally shot him. Rittenhouse said he fled and was pursued by a crowd, and then fatally shot a second man after he struck him with a skateboard and tried to grab his rifle. Rittenhouse said a third person approached him with a pistol and he shot and wounded that individual.

In his subsequent trial, Rittenhouse was acquitted after tearfully testifying that his actions were in self-defense. After that, things went quite well for the young man. He went to meet former President Donald Trump, who said nice things about him; he was lovingly interviewed by Tucker Carlson and Sean Hannity, and soon became a cause célèbre for right-wing organizations, with his image being used to sell T-shirts, coffee mugs, and other products. He announced the creation of a video game, Kyle Rittenhouse’s Turkey Shoot, and became a speaker for Turning Point USA, an outfit that advocates for conservative policies and politics on college campuses.

Last week, Rittenhouse brought his “Rittenhouse Recap” speaking tour to the University of Memphis and it did not go well. Initially, there was a movement on social media to reserve tickets and then not show up, leaving Rittenhouse with an empty auditorium. Even after a last-minute reshuffling of the ticketing process, Rittenhouse still found himself speaking to a half-full room, most of whose inhabitants were there to run him out of town. After 27 minutes of tough questions, most of which he dodged, Rittenhouse had had enough and hurried off stage left, dragging his poor “support dog” behind him.

One gets the sense that Rittenhouse has no idea what to do with the remainder of a life that was indelibly defined by his actions on that August night four years ago. Now he’s a prop, famous only because he shot and killed people; a shill being used to raise funds; a washed-up, one-hit wonder at the age of 21; an aimless, unambitious young man who stumbled up the ladder in the right-wing hierarchy. Now he’s just following orders.

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At Large Opinion

Zoned Out

Port St. Joe, Florida (Photo: Google Maps)

How was your Sunday morning wake-up? I imagine, like me, you were still a little drowsy because in Memphis, as in most of the USA, except Arizona and Hawaii, we all “sprang forward” for Daylight Saving Time, meaning 8 a.m. magically became 9 a.m. overnight, and meaning it’s darker outside when you wake up and there’s more daylight when you go to bed. It will take most people’s bodies a few days to get used to the change because our circadian rhythms get all fouled up.

Circadian rhythms are the 24-hour cycles that regulate essential bodily functions and processes — the release of hormones and such — including the sleep-wake cycle. They work by helping to make sure that the body’s processes are optimized at various points during a 24-hour period. The term “circadian” comes from the Latin phrase “circa diem,” which means “around a day,” which seems a little vague to me, but this is coming from people who wore togas and probably partied a lot.

Oddly enough, I got a head start on the whole process last week. That’s because I was visiting my brother and sister-in-law at their Vrbo near Port St. Joe, Florida. It’s a place where time waits for no one, and where you’d better keep an eye on your phone or you’ll be late. Or early. It depends. A watch is no good here. If your car’s clock updates automatically when you switch time zones, you will need to pick up a flux capacitor at AutoZone. Your phone will soon be googling itself.

See, Port St. Joe is in a little time peninsula of its own. The line of demarcation between Eastern Standard Time and Central Standard Time is a bit wacky hereabouts, running like a string tossed on a rumpled blanket: north, south, east, and west through Gulf County, the last piece of land before the Gulf of Mexico puts a stop to this linear nonsense.

Port St. Joe is on Eastern Standard Time, but it’s possible to drive a couple miles due east and be in the Central Standard Time zone. Meaning you could — depending on where you’re staying — arrive at the beer store in Port St. Joe at 5 p.m. and get home to drink those Bud Lights on your deck at 4:15 p.m. Time is a flat circle, baby. When 5 o’clock rolls around again, did those beers really exist? I say no. Also, if you do this 24 times as fast as possible, you could save a day. In theory. And get really drunk.

Why do we keep doing this twice-a-year ritual, which many studies have shown to be a health hazard that negatively affects sleep cycles, causes heart attacks, and spurs mental health crises, including suicide rates, in the fall? In a new poll conducted by the Associated Press/Center for Public Affairs Research, seven in 10 Americans said they would prefer not to switch back and forth for daylight saving time. Consensus! See, Americans can agree on something!

Er, but well, no. It turns out that four in 10 Americans would like to see their clocks stay on standard time year-round, while three in 10 would prefer to stay on daylight saving time year-round. Urgh. Another 3 in 10 say they prefer the status quo, switching back and forth between daylight saving time in the summer and standard time in the winter. These are the people who know how to reset the clock on their stove. Bastards.

A 2019 article in the Journal of Health Economics says: “As all mammals, humans respond to environmental light, the most important signal regulating our biological clock. However, human beings are the only animal species that deliberately tries to master nature … adjust[ing] their schedules responding to incentives to economic and social coordination.” This explains why my dogs were blissfully eating their morning kibble at 8:30 a.m. on Sunday, unaware that I’d served them breakfast an hour later than usual. Then again, what’s time to a dog? Day and night. There’s probably a lesson for us there, from one species of mammal to another. Arf.

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At Large Opinion

Learn to Discern

Gov. Bill Lee stands with Tennessee National Guard for a photo op. (Photo: @GovBillLee | X.com)

“As America faces the most severe border crisis in decades, TN is showing the rest of the country what it means to lead. Today, I joined TN National Guard members who will soon deploy on a voluntary mission to secure the Southern border as the federal government fails to act.”

The quote is from an X post by Tennessee Governor Bill Lee last Friday. He was pictured standing in front of 20 or so camo-clad warriors who were apparently going to Texas to … stand along the border somewhere? No word on who would be giving them orders. The Texas governor? The Texas National Guard commander? President Biden? Doesn’t matter. It wasn’t about governing or policy or real life. It was political theater. A photo op.

Judging from the responses to the post, lots of other people besides me saw it as empty grandstanding. Many pointed out that Tennessee had plenty of problems of its own — gun violence, education, healthcare — that ol’ Bill could be paying attention to instead of doing Kabuki theater in a local gymnasium.

Others responded on X, correctly, that House Republicans had declined to support a border bill that could have done much to improve the situation just a week before. Here’s LGilmore: “Good grief. What a freaking waste of time and taxpayer money for political gain. We see your two-faced perpetuation of a problem you refuse to help solve.”

But there were also positive responses to Lee’s post. Here’s one from LITizen JEFF: “Thank you, Sir, and especially, thank you to the patriots in the TN National Guard.” He probably had tears in his eyes while he typed that.

What forms the differing attitudes of LGilmore and LITizen JEFF? Well, assuming they’re not ’bots, it would be a fair guess to say it’s the sources of news they consume. According to a Pew Research study, conservatives like JEFF head to the right-wing buffet table, where they can get a steady diet of Fox News, Newsmax, OAN, Joe Rogan, Epoch Times, etc. Progressive/liberal thinkers like LG are more likely to be consumers of CNN, MSNBC, NPR, PBS NewsHour, and The New York Times.

When it comes to news, what we consume quite naturally shapes what we believe. A great example of this is the current exchange of video-fire over which old guy running for president is in worse shape. Call it “Dueling Dodderers.” My social media feeds are now filled with clips of Donald Trump’s verbal miscues. He is slurring a lot of words in his stump speeches these days and frequently losing his train of thought. And every time it happens, a clip of it gets posted and amplified in all the liberal media. I consume it gleefully because I think Trump is an evil clown and it gives me hope that he may yet disintegrate into a gooey orange puddle of bile.

Likewise, there are lots of clips of President Biden misspeaking or turning the wrong way or stumbling on a stairway that make the rounds in right-wing media. I don’t see as many of these because I don’t visit those sites much. That’s mainly because the algorithm gods have learned I prefer not to consume right-wing stuff.

That’s how it works: You pick your news, then your news picks you. So, here’s some good advice: Learn how to pick news sources that are trustworthy. Don’t amplify news stories, quotes, memes, or even videos unless you are certain they are legitimate. That juicy clip of Trump being unable to pronounce “Venezuela” may tickle your schadenfreude, but don’t forward it unless it’s from a legitimate source. AI video is real — and, increasingly, a source of disinformation.

Media literacy is a course that should be taught in every school in America from the seventh grade on. Knowing how to discern reliable sources in the flood of information that deluges us — and our children — needs to be a top educational priority.

For starters, here’s a list of the 10 least-biased news sources, according to Pew Research: AP News, Reuters News Service, BBC News, Wall Street Journal, Bloomberg.com, New York Times, C-Span, NPR/PBS, Forbes.com, NBC News. We need to be vigilant. If we consume disinformation and spread it, we’re nothing more than vacuous propagandists. Like Bill Lee.

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At Large Opinion

A Bang-up Job

Wayne LaPierre (Photo: Gage Skidmore | Creative Commons | Wikimedia Commons)

Last Friday, a civil court jury in New York City found Wayne LaPierre, the now-former head of the National Rifle Association (NRA), liable for mishandling $5.4 million of the organization’s money.

Apparently unable to squeak by on his meager $2.2 million annual salary, LaPierre rolled up charges of more than $270,000 for clothes from a Zegna boutique in Beverly Hills, billed tens of thousands of dollars for private charter flights for himself and relatives, and took numerous extravagant NRA-paid vacations. In addition, LaPierre often billed the NRA for a stylist who charged $10,000 a session for hair and makeup for his wife, Susan LaPierre. Fancy!

The trial, prosecuted by New York Attorney General Letitia James, uncovered other fiduciary misdeeds, including that of LaPierre’s personal assistant, Millie Hallow, who he retained even after she was caught funneling $40,000 in NRA money to pay for her son’s wedding.

In leading the “nonprofit” organization that is arguably responsible for more civilian gun deaths than any in American history, Wayne LaPierre got rich and lived large. He famously said, “The only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is with a good guy with a gun.” It now appears that you can also stop a bad guy with a gun with a lawsuit. Or at least, make him resign.

The truth is the NRA has been in something of a decline. Membership has dropped by nearly a third — from 6 million members to around 4 million members — in little more than five years. And an internal audit cited by The New York Times found that the organization’s revenue is down 44 percent over the past eight years.

Despite these numbers, the NRA still has significant investments that pay consistent dividends year after year. These include, among many others, senators Ted Cruz, Lindsey Graham, Mitch McConnell, and Tennessee’s own Marsha Blackburn, who the NRA has funded to the tune of more than $1.3 million. (No word on whether Marsha was ever in line for one of those sweet $10,000 hairstylin’s.)

These political stalwarts assist their blood-stained benefactor by opposing such scary bills as the Protect America’s Schools Act and the Keep Americans Safe Act — which proposed to limit the size of gun magazines. It’s the position of Marsha, Mitch, and their NRA buddies that we can’t be forcing mass shooters to reload too often because it infringes their Second Amendment rights.

Still, as I mentioned above, there is some hope that we may be witnessing the end of an era. According to the Open Secrets organization, the NRA recently reported its largest-ever year-to-year decline in federal lobbying spending — from $4.9 million in 2021 to $2.6 million in 2022. There was also a decline in NRA spending in federal elections from $54.5 million in 2016 to $29.1 million in 2020.

Even given those encouraging trends, however, there’s no denying that LaPierre and the NRA managed to thoroughly transform the American political landscape over the past 25 years. Few Republicans have the courage to support gun reform — because they fear the NRA. And thanks to the NRA, the Second Amendment has been twisted to mean that any kind of permit or gun training or limitation as to where guns can be carried is a violation of holy writ. “Democrats will take your guns” is an ever-recurring election year mantra for the GOP. More than half of the 50 states have essentially no gun regulations for permitting or carrying. Thoughts and prayers are allowed — for now — but don’t get too carried away with those thoughts.

There is a 2013 video obtained by The New Yorker of LaPierre shooting an elephant in Africa. It’s on YouTube, but I do not recommend that you watch it, unless you consider such hunting a “sport.” LaPierre is guided to an ambush position where he can shoot the great animal from close range. It falls to the ground, lying still, groaning in agony. LaPierre takes three more shots into the moaning beast from 20 feet away but is unable to hit the kill spot pointed out by the guide, who is finally forced to make the kill.

There is a metaphor there for Republicans. There is a lesson there for all of us. Who can name the great beast?

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At Large Opinion

Blood Simple

Photo: @itspastorcris on X

This is a story about nazis, the rock group Paramore, a folk singer, and the GOP members of the Tennessee State House. Bear with me. It all comes together in the end.

First, the nazis: Last Saturday afternoon, a group of 30 or so white men demonstrated on the grounds of the state capitol in Nashville. They carried nazi flags, wore face masks (naturally), and red T-shirts proclaiming that they were members of a group called “Blood Tribe.” They then walked in loose formation down Broadway, along sidewalks filled with tourists.

The march was videoed by dozens of people, including by one brave stalwart who walked alongside the group, screaming, “Cowards!! Cowards!! Show your faces!!” They didn’t because — duh — they’re cowards. That video was posted on X and went viral.

According to the Anti-Defamation League, Blood Tribe members exalt Hitler as a deity, a reincarnation of the Norse god Wotan. They are “a hard-core white supremacist group, that sees themselves as the last remaining bulwark against enemies of the white race and the only path to a white ethno-state.” Blood Tribe members “emphasize hyper-masculinity,” and the group does not allow female members.

Here’s my favorite part: Once accepted into the Blood Tribe, “members take part in an initiation ceremony during which they cut themselves using the group’s ceremonial spear and then rub their blood on the shaft of the spear.” Uh huh.

Also possibly notable is the fact that the group’s first public demonstration was in March 2023, when they protested a drag queen story hour in Wadsworth, Ohio. According to news reports, attendees “wore matching red sweaters, waved swastika flags, and held a banner that read, ‘There will be blood.’” No word on whether their shoes matched their outfits.

But there’s really nothing funny about nazis, no matter how un-self-aware they are, unless hyper-toxic masculinity and ignorant racism amuse you. These guys are evil thugs, even if they are afraid to show their faces.

Among many others catching the nazis on phone video last Saturday were state Representative Justin Pearson of Memphis and state Representative Justin Jones of Nashville — the two Black members of the “Tennessee Three” who were excommunicated from the state legislature last summer for advocating for gun reform in the House chamber. Pearson and Jones (who were reinstated by special elections) both denounced the Blood Tribe march and referenced their GOP colleagues in their X posts about the group.

Jones said: “This is exactly what my Republican colleagues’ hate speech is fostering and inviting.” Pearson said: “Tragically, [the Blood Tribe’s] views are shared by many who I serve alongside on the other side of the aisle.”

Too harsh, you say? This is where Paramore and the folk singer come in. The Nashville-based rock band won Grammys for Best Rock Album and Best Alternative Music Performance. The folksinger, also from Nashville, was Allison Russell, who won a Grammy for Best American Roots Performance. Jones made what is typically a perfunctory consent calendar resolution — noncontroversial motions that the legislature passes en masse — to honor both artists for their awards.

But, oops. Nope. GOP House Speaker Jeremy Faison removed the resolution honoring Russell from the consent calendar, saying he had been approached by other GOP members with questions about Russell “which made it appropriate for us to press pause on that particular resolution.”

What questions? He couldn’t say. Here’s a guess: Russell is Black. The members of Paramore are white. The GOP reps decided to “press pause” on the Black woman because as they have shown time and time again, they are country-ass, cousin-humpin’ racist tools. In a real democracy, you could put that resolution on the consent calendar and take it to the bank.

Too harsh? I’m pretty sure Faison doesn’t like it when people bring up the 2022 incident in which he ran onto a basketball court during a game (between two “Christian” academies, no less) and attempted to “de-pants a referee” because he disagreed with a call. Probably should have pressed pause on that move, Jeremy.

To their credit, the lead singer of Paramore said the group would decline the “honor” from the legislature unless Russell was also honored. Oh, and if you’re still wondering about that “press pause” business? Last year, Russell criticized GOP legislators for enacting legislation targeting LGBTQ rights and banning drag shows.

Huh. How did we nazi that one coming?

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At Large Opinion

The Daily Days

Photo: John Martin | AdobeStock

Sunday, February 4th, 2024: Weight 162.4. Went to Home Depot to get birdseed, pansies, and some wood putty for Tatine’s project. Finished the Ebet Roberts profile for Memphis Magazine. I’m pretty pleased with it. It’s 3,500 words with lots of moving parts, but it all came together, and the photographs are amazing. Took the hounds on a 35-minute walk in Overton Park. Did Duolingo (150 points).

Made wide-noodle pasta with leftover filet, shallots, garlic, fresh herbs, and butter/olive oil sauce for dinner. Very tasty. We watched another episode of True Detective: Night Country. Still not sure I like it. Stayed up late and finished The Alienist. Entertaining read, but not enough to lure me into the second book in the series.

A little over a year ago — in January 2023 — I began keeping a daily journal. At first I called it “Cancer Diary” because I wanted to track the details of my health while I was undergoing treatment. I started every day’s post with my weight, then I chronicled what I ate, what medicines I took, my doctor visits — the good, the mundane, and the scary.

As my health got better over the ensuing six months, I found myself maintaining the journal out of habit rather than for health reasons. Now I just call it “The Daily Days.” I still note my weight and any health stuff that comes up, but mostly I just keep track of what happens: errands, editorial meetings, what I’m writing about in the Flyer and Memphis Magazine, conversations, walks, dinner, etc.

The entry at the beginning of this column is pretty typical, and I’ve piled up 40,000 words of this stuff in a little over a year. Unfortunately, there’s no plot, and as Larry David might say, I’m pretty, pretty, pretty boring. I can, however, tell you which birds came to the feeder on, say, July 6th (Go, downy woodpecker!). Or what day the first mosquito showed up last spring. Facts! But no one’s ever going to read this stuff.

Speaking of which … I’m also 25,000 words into a “novel,” a word that I’m still putting quotes around because I’m not sure if it will ever be ready for prime time. It’s a hobby at this point, with a plot that jumps from our hero’s college days in the 1970s to the present, and back again. Here’s a sample:

“I turn onto a gravel road that leads to a small bridge over the stream and then winds upward into the woods. As darkness comes on, I pull over and we get out, the dogs and I, stretching, sniffing the cool, piney air. The night feels crisp and new. I’ve had enough desert to last me for a while.

“I feed the dogs and we wander around through the trees. I discover a small clearing and pull the car onto the dry needles, away from the road. I don’t expect to have company up here but I can’t assume anything at this point. I unroll my sleeping pad in the back and we soon nod off.

“I’m startled awake by Doll’s deep, crooning howl — a primeval sound from deep inside her, reverberating in the closed car. It gives me the shivers. What time is it? What the hell? I grab her collar and shush her. She’s trembling, wide-eyed. Susie is growling, low. Out the car window, I see the moon hanging full in a black sky. The woods are dark and impenetrable. I pull the glock from the side-pocket and slowly open the door and then I hear it: coyotes, dozens of them, baying and yipping, distant and thrilling, a cacophony of hound-songs echoing down from the slopes above us.

“I let the dogs out of the car and within seconds they are both howling along with their mountain brothers and sisters, heads back, sending up cries from their ancestral hearts, full of joy and life and noise. I listen for a while, smiling big, transfixed by this crazy celebration, and I want in. I put the gun back in the car, strip, and stand naked beneath the brilliant sky, alive in the sound, the moon, the mountains. I tilt my head back and howl and howl.”

If I ever finish this thing, you’ll be the first to know. A-whoooo!

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At Large Opinion

Fast Car

I’m old enough to remember when Tracy Chapman released “Fast Car” — old enough to remember how stunning and incongruous it was, coming out at the end of the techno-Eighties, a softly strummed acoustic song with lyrics that indelibly captured what it meant to be young and poor and stuck in a bad place with no way out. I bought the album, bought the cassette, played it, and played it again.

I didn’t watch the Grammys Sunday night, but the video of the song’s performance by Chapman and country singer Luke Combs — who resurrected the song and released his own version last year — was everywhere the next day. No doubt there were millions of people who’d never heard of Tracy Chapman or heard the original version who were seeing her sing it for the first time. It was a beautiful and moving performance, and I must admit it got a little dusty in my office as I watched it on my laptop. Twice.

It’s a testament to the song’s power that it could be sung together by a queer Black woman and white male country star who says he used to hear it in his dad’s truck when he was a kid. The lyrics transcend categories that too often put us in our separate silos, unable to see what we could have in common with one another.

See, my old man’s got a problem
He lives with a bottle
that’s the way it is
He says his body’s too old for workin’
His body’s too young to look like his
When mama went off and left him
She wanted more from life
than he could give
I said, “Somebody’s got
to take care of him”
I quit school and that’s what I did.

In 1988, when Chapman released “Fast Car,” it became a big hit, rising to number six on Billboard’s Hot 100. Chapman won three Grammys that year — a year in which the other top songs belonged to INXS, Guns N’ Roses, Cheap Trick, George Michael, Billy Ocean, and Rick Astley (who is never going to give you up). Mostly white guys with guitars and hair.

In 2023, 35 years later, Combs’ version of “Fast Car” hit number one on the Billboard country charts in July and earned the number two spot on Billboard’s Hot 100. Other number one country songs on the chart in 2023 were by Jelly Roll (a country rapper), Kane Brown (a multi-racial singer who was discovered on social media), and Morgan Wallen, who famously once used the “n-word,” got drunk at Kid Rock’s Nashville club, and has been fervently rebranding himself ever since. Country music ain’t what it used to be (totally white, except for Charley Pride), and that’s mostly due to TikTok stars coming into the picture. It can’t hurt, I say.

Speaking of country music … I don’t know how many of you have heard of this girl, Taylor Swift. She also won a Grammy or two and is becoming something of a big deal these days. I predict major success for her. Sure, she’s gotten famous mostly because of her boyfriend — Kansas City Chiefs star Travis Kelce — but I’ve seen a couple of her videos and she seems to have a real knack for making snappy songs for young people. Of course, it can’t hurt that Taylor’s boyfriend is playing in the Super Bowl this weekend. Talk about your lucky timing! Plus, he’s rich!

There are those who say Taylor Swift’s rise to fame isn’t based on talent or luck. They say it’s all part of a deep-secret government operation that goes all the way to the top: namely, President Joe Biden. Certain MAGA types now say that the Super Bowl is rigged and that after the Kansas City Chiefs win on Sunday, Swift is going to come out and endorse Biden.

It makes sense, when you take a minute to think about it. What does Biden famously have in his garage? A 1967 Corvette. And what is that? A fast car. Boom! Game, set, and match, sheeple!

Categories
At Large Opinion

Same Old Tune

Congressman David Kustoff (Photo: Congressman David Kustoff Via X)

“Okay, so tell me, who makes laws in the United States? … That’s right, Congress. … Who was Thomas Jefferson? … The third president, and he wrote the Declaration of Independence, correct. … Who is one of your U.S. senators? … Marsha Blackburn, yes, that’s right. … I can tell you’re ready. You’re not going to have any problems with this test.”

I was listening to my wife in the other room. She’s an immigration attorney and was talking on the phone to a client who was going to take his citizenship test the following Monday. He’d jumped through lots of bureaucratic hoops, filled out lots of forms, and waited several years for his chance to become an American and he wasn’t going to blow it. It was inspiring, especially given the level of disinformation about immigration being spread by members of the Republican Party.

Here’s some legitimate information: In 1850, immigrants made up 11 percent of the U.S. population. In 2021, they made up 13 percent of the population. Ooh, facts! Scary! Here are some more scary facts from a March 2023 report by the Migration Policy Institute: The population of Tennessee is roughly 6.6 million people, of which 370,000 are foreign-born, or 5.3 percent. Of that number, 175,000 were born in Latin America, meaning the “threat from the Southern border” currently comprises 2.5 percent of Tennessee’s population. I don’t know about you, but I’m terrified.

Those 175,000 people are a threat to open restaurants, do construction work, start lawn care companies and auto repair shops, work in our offices, and send their children to our schools — where they may even become lawyers! They are a threat to contribute to our economy! They must be stopped!

When Donald Trump began his campaign for the presidency in 2015 at Trump Tower, the first comments out of his mouth were racist: “When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending their best,” Trump said. “They’re sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with us [sic]. They’re bringing drugs, they’re bringing crime, they’re rapists.”

Now it’s almost nine years later, and he hasn’t changed his tune, and most Republicans are still singing along. Blackburn and Eighth District Congressman David Kustoff constantly use their bully pulpits (and X accounts) to spread fear and misinformation about the “threat at our southern border” — a threat that has not adversely impacted their constituents’ lives to any noticeable degree. It’s not surprising to anyone who’s followed the political careers of these two cosplayers. Like most Republicans, they live to get airtime with Laura Ingraham or the other Fox hosts. It’s all they’ve got. They lack the courage of Mitt Romney and other Republicans who understand that Trump and his ignorant, dying MAGA herd are dragging the party into irrelevance.

The people trying to enter this country at our southern border are fleeing poor economic and/or socioeconomic conditions in their homeland. They are mostly impoverished and desperate. They are here hoping to make a life for themselves and their families. They aren’t taking over. They aren’t “poisoning the blood of our country.” They are human beings who don’t deserve to be shoved back into a river to die in order to get some asshole an appearance on Fox News.

There was an astonishing report that came out last week from the Inspector General of the Department of Defense. I urge you to read it. It will blow your mind. The report’s purpose was “to determine the extent to which the DoD implemented appropriate controls for executive medicine services in the DoD’s National Capital Region.”

In English, that means they were looking at pharmacy policies at the White House under Trump. The report showed that drugs were being given to White House staffers without prescriptions or any records as to who was getting them — including such Schedule II controlled substances as fentanyl, ketamine, Provigil, Oxycodone, and morphine.

Quote: “We found that the White House Medical Unit provided a wide range of healthcare and pharmaceutical services to ineligible White House staff in violation of Federal law and DoD policy. Additionally, the White House Medical Unit dispensed prescription medications, including controlled substances, to ineligible White House staff.” An example: From 2017 to 2019, the White House went through 4,100 doses of Provigil (an amphetamine) at a cost of $98,000. That’s a lot of speed, amigo.

It’s ironic that this report came out in the same week Trump was found guilty of defaming E. Jean Carroll, the woman he’d previously been found guilty of raping. It’s almost like at Trump’s White House they were bringing drugs, they were bringing crime, and they were rapists.