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FROM MY SEAT

RANDOM THOUGHTS

As summer stretches toward fall, a few items to ponder . . .

  • Just how big is this Saturday’s Black-and-Blue Game between the University of Memphis and Southern Miss? Well, let’s see. The Tigers are 2-0 for the first time in 27 years (they haven’t been 3-0 since 1973). First conference game of the year, against C-USA’s perennial pace-setter. First road game of the year, where college football boys become men. Memphis has dropped eight of their last nine against the Golden Eagles, and haven’t won in Hattiesburg since 1984. With a win, the Tigers would enjoy a bye week with the most momentum, the biggest buzz this program has seen since Tricky Dick was in office. And with Arkansas State and UAB on the horizon, the U of M just might enter their October 11th game at Mississippi State undefeated. Ole Miss was the biggest game on the Tigers’ schedule . . . until this Saturday.

  • What a schizophrenic season our Redbirds just completed. A 44-28 record at home, including a 13-game winning streak and a 31-9 finish. On the road? Better turn away. The Redbirds wound up 20-51 outside the comforts of AutoZone Park. (We all love the ‘Zone, fellas, but this is a little shaky.) Had Memphis merely been a .500 club on the road, the Redbirds would have won 80 games and been right in the thick of things in the PCL’s East Division. The sad truth about the long, daily grind of a professional baseball season is that a short stretch can invigorate (or destroy) a season. When the Redbirds lost 21 out of 23 between April 15 and May 9, the possibility of playoff baseball fell out of the equation. Remove that sorry month from the books and Memphis was four games over .500.

  • Kudos to Redbirds pitcher Jason Ryan, who managed the rare trick of leading his league in both innings pitched (190) and ERA (2.70). The All-Star righty became Memphis©ö third ERA champion in six years, followingBrady Raggio in 1998 (3.07) and Clint Weibl in 2000 (2.83). Ryan’s record (8-6) was deceptively mediocre, as the Redbirds were shut out four times when he took the mound. He had no fewer than 14 no-decisions. While we’re at it, hats off to Steve Stemle as well. With the PCL’s 6th-best ERA (3.46), Stemle deserved better than his 6-11 record.

  • A pair of names to look forward to as we look ahead to the 2004 Redbirds season: Yadier Molina and Bucky Jacobsen. Molina is a slick-fielding catcher, almost certain to be Mike Matheny’s eventual successor in St. Louis. He hit .275 this year for Double-A Tennessee, with 2 home runs and 51 RBIs. Jacobsen will give John Gall some competition for his first base job next year, having hit .298, with 31 home runs (which led the Southern League) and 84 RBIs for the Smokies.

  • You’ll have to pardon my cold-hearted refusal to be part of the latest coronation of Barry Bonds. The greatest baseball player of my lifetime (perhaps any lifetime) has been given an enormous amount of credit– and apparently clinched an unprecedented sixth MVP award– for the compassion he’s shown in dealing with the death of his father (and former baseball star), Bobby. The fact is, Bonds is behaving exactly as a human being should upon the death of a parent. He’s missed work. He’s reflected. And when able to work, he’s done his job. The very normal way Bonds has handled this difficult time contrasts dramatically with the very abnormal way he has treated human beings over the course of his 18-year career. Thus the misplaced adulation. Had Bonds conducted himself with more compassion during his father’s life, he would have honored Bobby’s legacy more completely, and his tears in recent weeks wouldn’t seem nearly so heroic.

  • In the wake of last week’s debacle at Wrigley Field– where the Cardinals dropped four of five to the Cubs– any griping about a thin pitching staff by St. Louis manager Tony LaRussa (or GM Walt Jocketty) should fall on deaf ears here in Memphis. Knowing they had to pitch a minimum of 45 innings in four days (turned out to be 51), St. Louis could have called up Ryan to eat some of those innings. Instead, the lone arm they promote is Josh Pearce, who was ignored in the Wednesday afternoon implosion that saw the Cards blow a 6-0, sixth-inning lead. You want to sympathize with LaRussa and co. But what does a guy like Ryan have to do?

  • You think Larry Bird has been scratched from Isiah Thomas’s Christmas list? First, Larry Legend makes the most famous NBA heist since ‘Havlicek stole the ball!’ to rob Thomas’s Pistons of a shot at the 1987 Finals. Then just last month, Bird swoops into town as the new boss of the Indiana Pacers– the team Thomas coached to the playoffs each of the last three years– and fires his fellow Hall of Famer. Ahhhh . . . nice to see rivalry doesn’t die when the sneakers are traded in for wing tips.

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    TAKING IT FROM THE TOP (TIGER FOOTBALL EDITION)

    PUTTING A HEX ON THE REBELS

    The chickens did it. That’s it, I’m certain. The rubber chickens. Those of you who were among the half-hundred thousand at the sun-drenched Liberty Bowl Saturday afternoon may have an idea of what I’m talking about.

    It was around two o’clock, and the Tigers had just stumble-bumbed their way through a horrid third quarter, putting on as inept a display of football as you’d ever like to see. The Ole Miss Rebels, meanwhile, after some fits and starts, seemed to be putting their engines on cruise-control, having scored 17 unanswered points in the quarter, limiting the U of M to just three yards total offense over the third-quarter’s first 14 minutes. The game seemed to be slipping away, ever so relentlessly.

    All around me in the stands, Tiger loyalists had that same glum, resigned expression of their faces that is by now, well, traditional. This script was all too familiar. On this sunny day, U of M fans watched their heroes come out of the gate strong, give away their early lead with dumb mistakes, rally to take it back again just before the half, then barely show up for the third quarter, falling a couple of touchdowns behind an Ole Miss squad that looked like it had matters safely in hand.

    That’s when it happened. That’s when we got out the chickens.

    Despite its considerable national reputation, a well-known fried-chicken company has this year come up with a promotional gimmick for Memphis that is goofy, hard to understand, and, well, just plain bone-headed. Evidently, this promo will now run between the third and fourth quarters of U of M home games.

    At least I hope so. And so should you.

    If you didn’t see it, the promotion/game goes something this: three contestants, armed each with three rubber chickens, are posted five or ten yards from a large barrel-bucket placed to the right of the North End goalposts. The participants then try to throw the chickens — yes, I said rubber chickens, the long-necked kind, not footballs or frisbies — into the barrel. The winner who delivers the most chickens on target gets, you guessed it, buckets of fried (hopefully not rubber) chicken.

    Here I was, sitting in the gloom as the teams changed ends, the Tigers down 31-17, wondering absent-mindedly what this chicken silliness was about, but, more importantly, wondering what in the hell I’d write about in this column. After all, while covering the football Tigers, the sad excrutiating events of the past two losing seasons have caused me to use up just about every metaphor for painful defeat that I can imagine.

    I was, truly, at a loss for words. Thankfully, the rubber chickens gave me an out. I figured I’d write something cute about how the Tiger football program was like a rubber chicken (I had the word “indigestable” floating around in my mind), and then…

    And then something very peculiar happened . The U of M opened the fourth quarter with a razzle-dazzle pass play involving Danny Wimprine passing back on his left to Chris Kelley, who passed back across to the far right to a sprinting Wimprine, who scampered 35 yards deep into Ole Miss territory. This little Frank Merriwell number set up a D’Angelo Williams TD power romp around the left side, on the very next play. Suddenly, the pendulum was swinging back in the Tigers’ direction. The score was 34-28, and there was all to play for.

    Suddenly, inexplicably, the Tigers took their game to a whole new level. Danny Wimprine (the ESPN tv analysts gave both him and Williams more positive verbal ink than I’ve ever heard given nationally to U of M football players) could do no wrong, throwing nary an incompletion in the final quarter, and wracking up, by game’s end, 355 all-time record-tying passing yards.

    Eli Manning, the media Wunderkind, just as suddenly, could do no right. His receivers dropped balls they should have caught, and he seemed increasingly disheartened as the quarter progressed. Meanwhile, around the six-minute mark, Wimprine magically escaped getting tackled in his own end zone, only to throw a Hail-Mary bomb in the general direction of Tavarious Davis, and presto, what had once been lost was suddenly found.

    Throw in three fourth-quarter field goals (the game’s unsung hero, in my opinion, was holder Ryan Ivy; those watching tv saw on the replays how adeptly he helped turn a couple of floppy snaps into Stephen Gostkowski three-pointers), and there we were, staring with disbelief at the scoreboard, as it read Memphis 44, Ole Miss 34, with less than two minutes to play. Whodathunkit?

    Soon, Tommy West was raising his clenched fists into the air, the ecstatic crowd was tumbling onto the field, and grown men were weeping around me. That’s when I remembered the rubber chickens. And I figured it all out.

    You see, I think a very convincing case can be made that this Famous Victory — not to detract from the players and coaching staff’s achievement — was partly the product of an elaborate voodoo hex, perhaps one concocted by unnamed persons in the U of M marketing department. The plan was simple. Go to New Orleans and get some “stuff.” (Marie Levaux delivered those chickens, of that I’m certain.) Then get some folks to throw ’em around in the air, releasing appropriately bad ju-ju into the North End Zone — in which direction Ole Miss was about to march.

    Sound far-fetched? Well, how many Rebel points were scored in the North End Zone in the fourth quarter? You know the answer. Zero. Not a single one.

    Need more evidence? Remember when Taye Biddle dropped that perfectly-thrown Eli Manning pass that would have stretched the Rebels then-shrinking lead back up to 10 points? Sure you do: that’s the pass even you or I could have caught.

    Well, think about where he was when all that happened. Did he just “happen” to be no more than ten yards away from where that voodoo-chicken-bucket had stood, just half an hour before? And think hard, conversely, about where exactly Danny Wimprine was when he was nearly nailed for a safety. Did he just “happen” to be near the very same spot? Do you think there just might have been some mojo magic floating around when he launched heavenward The Pass to Taverious Davis?

    No, I am not usually given to seeking supernatural reasons for natural events. But, hey, when you haven’t beaten your arch-rival neighbor for nearly decade, you should seek out truth wherever you can find it. One thing seems certain — Tommy West’s hard work and honest effort over the past two seasons look like they are finally reaping dividends, with or without rubber chickens.

    But as Coach West would be the first to say, let’s not get carried away. Given The Commercial Appeal’s tendency towards hyberbole these days, I wasn’t surprised when I picked up the Sunday paper to see a page-one banner headline screaming “Great Leap Forward.”

    Don’t be fooled, folks; September 6th was a fine day for Tiger football, and one that will bring no end of disillusioned fans back into the fold, but let’s remember who we were playing. Yes, we managed to get a serious monkey off our back, but don’t forget that the team we defeated had been very lucky last weekend to squeak by perennial SEC doormat Vanderbilt. A team whose own quality has yet to be fully determined.

    Ole Miss is no Miami. Any resemblance between this victory and the famous 1996 one over UT — a then sixth-ranked powerhouse whose loss to a 26-point underdog that November Saturday may well have cost the Vols a national championship — is purely cosmetic. THAT victory was a milestone — one that the ESPN pundits would eventually include in their top ten upsets of the decade.

    This one over Ole Miss? Well, it’s a little bit like wild sex with a woman whom you know isn’t a keeper. A great time was had by all, but we shouldn’t be looking too closely for long-term implications…

    But we’ll take it. Finally beating the Rebels again after nearly a decade in the wilderness sure is a nice step in the right direction. And it definitely beats the alternative. Just make sure to keep bringing the rubber chickens.

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    MAD AS HELL

    UNFAIR, IMBALANCED, AND IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE

    The Fair and Balanced pundits have been spinning last week’s Democratic Presidential candidates’debate. One fellow has reminded viewers that 77% of voters cannot name one of the Democrats running for President. Another has intoned that nothing, absolutely nothing, came out of the debate. The next has informed everyone that no one was watching the debate because the country was preoccupied with the Britney Spears NFL preshow.

    It is all very fair and balanced. But the last to add two cents has caught my attention. After cackling at Congressman Gephardt’s comment that Bush has been a miserable failure, this shall-be-and-should-be nameless wizard has claimed watching the debate was like watching the Nickolodeon channel.

    Funny, he used that analogy. Watching George W. Bush is like watching the Sci Fi Channel. It keeps getting creepier and creepier.

    Let’s face it, the economy is a disaster and in the worst decline since Herbert Hoover was President. Since Bush came to power three years ago, the country has lost over three million jobs. Last month alone, 93,000 more jobs were slashed. Personal bankruptcy rates continue to surge at record highs. The Congressional Budget Office now indicates the budget deficit for 2003 will reach over $400 billion. The spend-and-borrow Republicans are digging us into a fiscal crater the size of the Grand Canyon. Gas prices are soaring at record prices of over $1.75 a gallon. Federal funding cuts to state and local governments have resulted in spiraling property taxes that have already more than eaten the $100 check given to average middle class families in the form of a tax cut.

    But when Bush addresseses the country concerning economic matters, he gives us nothing but shifty eyed rhetoric devoid of any facts. All we hear as a solution to our economic woes is tax cuts, tax cuts, tax cuts. Well, we got our tax cut so where are the jobs? Watching Bush’s mouth move with all the the happy talk is so freaky, it’s like watching The Twilight Zone.

    This administration’s talk of the war in Iraq is even better science fiction. Clearly, America is in a Vietnam style quagmire when it comes to the occupation of Iraq. We are spending a billion dollars a week on a war so phony that no one, especially George W. Bush, has ever clearly explained why our troops are in it. “Weapons of mass destruction” became “Sadaam Hussein aided terrorism” became “the liberation of the Iraqi people”. There’s more morphing going on watching Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, and Rice than in a segment of Stargate.

    The “peaceful” occupation has become a series of suicide bombings and guerrilla high-jinks resulting in daily casualties and injuries. And now, we find out that more soldiers are needed. George W. Bush has tied down the greatest military in the history of the world to the job of looking for religious fanatics. And of course, he did it his way: by dissing the rest of the world when it objected. “Bring it on.” Well, now it has been brought on. Listening to his claims that all this is making the world safer, better, kinder, gentler and richer is stranger than watching Aliens.

    As the American economy continues to weaken and the war in Iraq continues to produce greater world instability and American casualties, we should listen to the lies and distortions of the current leader because if he is given the opportunity to live in the White House another four years, we will be watching that scene in Poltergeist– They’re back.

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    THE WEATHERS REPORT

    ON THE ANNIVERSARY OF 9/11

    It’s been two years since the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. Isn’t it time we Americans put the events of that day into more realistic perspective?

    Approximately 3,000 people died on September 11, 2001, killed by terrorists who belonged to an organization that, by the most liberal estimates, had no more than a few thousand members. For those who lost loved ones on 9/11, it was a day of horror leading to lifelong sorrow, and the anniversary of that day will justly be the cause of sadness and pain forever.

    For the rest of us, that day was a reminder that there are bad people in the world who want to hurt Americans in order to make some kind of point. But that should not have struck anyone as news.

    The fact of the matter is, what happened on September 11, 2001, was not an American tragedy, even though it was a personal tragedy for many Americans. At no time on that day or on any day since has America as a nation been in any kind of danger, the way it would be in a war with a full-size enemy like China or Russia. At no time on that day or on any day since have the great mass of Americans been in any kind of danger from the terrorists. Despite the predictable comparisons, September 11, 2001 was not the same as December 7, 1941. Pearl Harbor was a prelude to a war that threatened the very existence of our country. The same cannot be said of 9/11, bad as it was. Yes, our president has declared a War on Terrorism. But in reality, terrorism never declared war on us–unless you think it is meaningful when the gnat declares war on the elephant.

    In the larger scheme of things, September 11, 2001 was not, for the United States as a whole, a history-changing day. At least, we should not have let it be. Out of 290 million citizens, 3,000 died in the terrorist attacks. But in fact, every day, over 6,500 Americans die of something. Every day, cancer and heart disease alone kill 3,400 Americans. In other words, every day is a tragedy for thousands of Americans, but we do not obsess about each of these ordinary death-dealing days the way we obsess about 9/11. We do not lapse into paranoia about cancer and heart disease the way we do about terrorists. And yet terrorists are mere gnats compared to the things that kill most Americans.

    Let us put death in America into perspective: This year 700,000 Americans will die from heart disease; more than 540,000 will die from cancer; about 160,000 will die from strokes; 68,000 will die from diabetes; 49,000 will die from Alzheimer’s Disease; and 15,000 will die of AIDS. Each year, over 40,000 Americans die in traffic accidents, of whom 16,000 are killed in accidents in which alcohol was a factor. Each year, approximately 30,000 Americans are killed by handguns. Approximately 17,000 of these are suicides. Each year, about 16,000 Americans will be murdered. More than 5,000 will die in their workplace.

    In death’s broad vision, 3,000 is simply not a very large number. And yet look how this nation has responded to the death-dealing of 9/11/2001. It has encouraged a level of paranoia usually reserved for times of full-scale war. It has generated legislation that threatens our civil liberties, giving the federal government access to our homes and private lives unprecedented except in times of war. It has led to the subversion of international rules of justice in our own courts, as we imprison uncharged suspects for indefinite terms, without access to representation. And finally, some in Washington have encouraged and exploited our paranoia in order to initiate a neoconservative war in Iraq that has killed thousands more innocent people, Iraqis and Americans and others–a war that is costing us — by the estimate of Donald Rumsfeld himself — at least four billion dollars a month.

    Imagine what damage we might do to Death if we spent four billion dollars a month fighting heart disease and cancer. Imagine if we spent four billion dollars a month fighting diabetes and Alzheimers and AIDS and mental illness. Imagine if we spent four billion dollars, just one time, putting inebriation testers in every American automobile, so no drunk driver could start his car, or if we spent four billion dollars putting a lock on every handgun. Think of the lives we’d save if we spent four billion dollars a month fighting a war against pneumonia alone. We would save lives far beyond the number that died on 9/11.

    After 9/11, it was appropriate to exact revenge on Al Qaida, and perhaps even on the Taliban, in Afghanistan. It was appropriate to tighten our surveillance of temporary immigrants in this country and to more closely guard our borders and our airports. But we have taken our reaction to 9/11 far beyond that, into the realm of insane overreaction. This is not to minimize the loss of those who died in the World Trade towers or in the Pentagon or in that field in Pennsylvania when they, no doubt heroically, brought down a hijacked jet headed for the White House. Nor is it to minimize the grief of those they left behind.

    But death has many agents, and for lethal scope, terrorists run far behind germs and drink and blind bad luck. We have elevated terrorists to the level of far more deadly killers, and squandered our resources to feed our paranoia. It is time we woke up and delivered ourselves from our fear.

    On this, the second anniversary of 9/11, let us honor those who died by revising our priorities. Instead of inventing new foes to kill and new ways to kill them, let us set ourselves against the old foes–foes like disease and mental illness and domestic homicide. The lives then saved will be a fitting memorial to the lives lost.

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    GIVING ‘EM HELL

    .

    Last week, Howard Dean of Vermont, a onetime dark-horse presidential candidate who is suddenly — to political insiders almost inexplicably — leading the pack of Democratic candidates, undertook a ten-city, three-day flyaround of America. The “Sleepless Summer Tour,” it was called — in conscious rebuke of President George W. Bush’s alleged inaction in the face of America’s problems.

    Beginning on Saturday at Falls Church, Virigina, a suburb of Washington, D.C., Dean’s campaign plane, the “Grass Roots Express” went to Milwaukee; Boise, Idaho; Portland, Oregon; Seattle and Spokane, Washington; Austin and San Antonio, Texas; Chicago; and New York. Crowds of unprecedentsed size and animation for this stage of a challenger’s run for the presidency turned out to greet him. The high point, numerically, was a throng of some 10,000 in Seattle, while the most intense stop was probably at San Antonio.

    The Flyer went along with Dean, listening as he pummeled President Bush and mocked Bush’s major campaign adviser, Karl rove, watching as the candidate was asked to autograph posters, shirts, arms, and even, occasionally, part of someone’s anatomy (no, not those parts), reflecting on the fact of a politician whom virtually no one outside the candidate’s own small New England state had heard of a year ago pushing the political temperature up beyond what is normal in August or any other season.

    DEAN’S PRIVATE ATTITUDE TOWARD THE MAN HE HOPES TO SUPPLANT, George W. Bush, is considerably more complicated than the straw-man bashings of this stump speech would indicate. “George Bush graduated from Yale in ’68. I graduated in 1971,” remembeed his fellow Eastern patrician aboard the campaign plane. “There was a total generatonal shift. The Yale he left was gone by the time I graduated. It ws a coat-and-tie era, not particularly innovative. Very much heriditary. I was the only guy in my prep school who got in. The place was full of valedictorians and salutatorians from public schools.”

    The implication is that Dean got with the program in those quasi-revolutionary times — and that Bush remained forever preppy.

    But as recently as the late ’90s, when both men were governors — Dean of remote little Vermont, Bush of big and rowdy Texas — there was the possibility of real overlap. “I actually liked him,” Dean recalls. “I knew him well enough that I thought we could do business. And by Texas standards he was actually modeate. He tried to revise the incredibly archaic Texas tax system. He didn’t succeed, but he actually tried. I was shocked at the way we acted when he became president. I really did think he was a compassionate conservative.”

    Dean, who admired President George H.W. Bush as much as he seems to deplore President George W. Bush, takes an almost Freudian view of what he sees as the son’s slide backwards into reaction. “Most people think he is still a moderate. They don’t realize how far to the right he’s gone. He’s not interested in being a good president; he’s interested in some complicated psychological situation with regard to his father over being accepted, being reelected.”

    Whatever psychodrama he sees as responsible for Bush’s mindset, Dean seems to have a genuine missionary zeal to expose the public consequences of it. As he put it to the crowd of several hundred that turned up for him at the Boise airport, “He [Bush] sdoesn’t want to balance the budget, because he wants to defund the federal government. And get rid of Medicare and Social security. We’re not going to allow it.”

    Dean sees Bush as a pure dissembler. “He was never truthful about his reasons for going into Iraq. He toughed up the intelligence reports to justify it, but he knew better. If you know what you’re saying isn’t true, what is the truth? We went in with a reason. What is the reason? I don’t know.”

    His skepticism and discinclination to grant the president credit for good-faith efforts extends as well to Bush’s domestic policies — like the recently enacted Medicare-based prescription-drug measure. “He knows it won’t work, and he doresn’t care. It’s like ‘Leave No Child Behind’ and ‘Clean Skies,” Dean says, mentioning Bush programs for education and the environment, respectively. “All he wants is something to go before the electorate with, to make the claim that he’s tried to do something, when he hasn’t”

    But there is a self-imposed caveat to his criticism of the president, one which stamps him as almost unique among Bush-bashers. “People make the mistake of discounting George W. Bush,” Dean confided in one of the several impromptu interviews he gave the reporters aboard the Grass Roots Express. “People like George Bush. I have never made a joke about syntax or spelling or any of that stuff. People who do that he no idea how he connects with people between the coasts. They think he’s one of them. My job is to get them to see that he may talk like one of them, but his policies are not in their best interest.”

    AND SO HE DOES, working at the task at every stop in a set speech whose applause lines and segues are freely shuffled, appearing not only in a different order — depending, presumably, on the venue and the vagaries of mood and free association — but sometimes with dramatically different import.

    At all stops, for example, Dean chastised the Bush administration for its emphasis on ex post facto solutions to crime rather than on developing programs to prevent it. Prisons, he would say, are necessary — “we can’t have violent people running around” — but, as he put it in Seattle, “any competent, qualified kindergarten teacher can tell you who the five kids are in his or her class that are most likely to end up in prison 15 or 20 years from now.” The line, stated much the same wherever he said it, sometimes drew laughs and at other times was greeted with utmost solemnity. In whichever case, it was followed by Dean’s declaration that prisons are “the least effective social-service intervention that we make in this country” followed by a rhetorical question about “why is it that weÕre not investing in small children, their families, now, to stop that from happening.”

    Whichever way it started, the sequence drew guaranteed applause, as did another, even more pedantic-sounding premise, which Dean stated this way in Seattle: “He [Bush] managed to find $3 trillion of our tax money to give to [Enron’s] Ken Lay and all those guys writing the $2,000 checks, but he couldnÕt find the money to buy the enriched uranium stocks in the former Soviet Union, which weÕre entitled to buy under the Cooperative Threat Reduction Agreement, and if that stuff gets in terroristsÕ hands, then we really do have a security problem in America.”

    Enriched uranium stocks? The Cooperative Threat Reduction Agreement? Not one listener in 50 could have known what he meant, but the crowds — in what was clearly a concession to the ex-governor’s policy-wonkish predilections — applauded as lustily and on cue at these two recondite matters as they did at the more obvious red-meat lines.

    And there were always plenty of the latter, references to tax-cut giveaways for “Ken Lay and the boys;” to having been “the only leading ” (or “major” or “serious”) Democratic presidential candidate to oppose Bush’s war in Iraq; to Dean’s success in imposing virtually universal health insurance in Vermont and his insistence that “if we can do that in a small rural state, 26th in income in the country, balance our budgets every year, surely the most wealthy and powerful society on the face of the earth can join the British and the Japanese and the Germans and the French, the Israelis, the Canadians, the Italians, the Irish, the Norwegians, the Swedes, even Costa Ricans have health insurance.” (The list of privileged nations ebbed and flowed but always concluded with mention of lowly little Costa Rica.)

    There was the business of “three million lost jobs” under Bush and the inability of Republican presidents to balance the budget and the current president’s playing the “race card” by using the word “quota” about affirmative action programs at the University of Michigan. There were Bush’s refusal to “stand up to the Saudis” and the “unfunded mandate” of the No Child Left Behind program (which Dean might render as “No School Board Left Standing” or “No Behind Left”) and Bush’s underfunding of Homeland Sedcurity and his “all hat and no cattle” defense policies and his dangerously “petulant” attitude toward North Korea.

    There were plenty such derelictions, followed by Dean’s promises of redress or relief. One of the candidate’s most popular crescendoes would come when he ticked off the administration’s purported misrepresentations about Iraq. As he tended to put it: “The president told us that Iraq was buying uranium from Africa. That turned out not to be true…..The president told us that they were about to make a deal with al Qaeda. That turned out not to be true…..The vice president told us the Iraqis were about to get nuclear weapons. That turned out not to be true. And the secretary of defense told us he knew exactly where those weapons of mass destruction were, right around Tikrit and Baghdad, and that turned out not to be true.”

    At most venues members of the crowd would start chanting “lies” or “liars” during this recitation; at New York’s Bryant Park, where Dean spoke from a platform decorated by a performance artist, the call-and-response evoked cries of “bullshit,” instead. At all locations, Dean would conclude the passage by intoning thunderously, “As the commander in chief of the United States military, I will never hesitate to send our troops to any country in the world to defend the United States of America. But as the commander in chief of the United States military, I will never send our sons and our daughters and our brothers and sisters to a foreign country to die, without telling the truth about why theyÕre going there.”

    Everywhere someone in the crowd, whether a plant or not, would shout, “Give ’em Hell, Howard!” and Dean would answer by recalling Harry Truman’s reply to similar calls during that president’s 1948 miracle reelection campaign: “I just tell the truth, and the Republicans think it’s hell.”

    Howard Dean and his supporters plainly think the ex-Vermont governor’s current campaign for the presidency is someting of a miracle, too. As the candidate himself observed during last week’s ten-city “Sleepless in America” tour (so-called to counterpoint President Bush’s supposed slumber during his annual monthlong summer vacation at his Crawford, Texas ranch): “We thought we might have five percent of the [primary] vote by this point and would be getting ready to make a major effort in Iowa or New Hampshire, after which we’d hope to build on that momentum in primaries down the line.”

    Instead, Dean already leads the Democratic field in both Iowa and New Hampshire, whose January caucuses and kickoff primary, respectively, are the traditional opening rounds of presidential campaigning. In Iowa, Dean has overcome the expected early lead of former House Minority Leader Dick Gephardt from neighboring Missouri; in New Hampshire, a Zogby poll last week showed him soaring past Massachusetts Senator John Kerry, once presumed to be the frontrunner, by a whopping margin of 38 to 21.

    Observes campaign manager Joe Trippi, a veteran of several prior campaigns (including Gephardt’s first bid, in 1988) who will volunteer non-stop dissertations on anything and everything political: “We had to adapt to this early success. What we’re doing is unique. This is the first time ever that an insurgent has got this far ahead before an establishment ‘frontrunner’ could establish himself. We started out running a marathon by doing the first four miles at 100-yard-dash speed. Now we’re doing the second four miles at 100-yard-dash speed.”

    In practical terms, what that means is that the Dean campaign, having already broken new ground with last week’s whirlwind cross-country tour — of the sort customary in the late stages of a general-election campaign — intends to pile it on, spending $1 million next month to air freshly minted commercials in six states. It can afford to do so on the basis of having raised some $7.5 million, more than any other Democrat, in the previous quarter and is shooting for $10 million in the current quarter, with every expectation of realizing that goal.

    The Dean campaign has been able to achieve such heady results by the innovative use of Internet fundraising through the campaign’s website (www.deanforamerica.com), which also serves as a medium for arranging the “meetups” of volunteers throughout the country that have given the term “grass roots” new meaning. As it happened, President Bush also visited Portland last week, for a $2,000-a-plate fundraiser that was due tonet im $1 million — the kind of money that, presumably, only incumbent presidents can raise in so short-term a manner. Dean let it be known that he meant to do as well on his “Sleepless” tour.

    BY HIS OWN STATEMENT, DEAN CAN BE “BRUSQUE” with the media — though his new frontrunner status seems to have brought with it an injunction to make nice with reporters at all costs. Not once during last week’s tour did the candidate lose his cool — not even during the post-speech “press avail” in Falls Church, where a local reporter badgered him about whether he would take a “no-new-taxes” pledge. When Dean responded, “Yes, if we can return to the status of things under Bill Clnton,” the reporter complained, “That doesn’t make sense.” Refusing to be baited, Dean calmly repeated his answer, then went on to the next questioner.

    The traveling press was not nearly so obstreperous as that Washington-based reporter had been. Indeed, relaions between the 30-odd journalists and the candidate could reasonably be described as cozy — as why shouldn’t they be, considering the symbiotic nature of their heady trip through the looking glass. Alexandra Pelosi, the video documentarian whose “Journeys With George” captured the Bush candidacy of 2000, was on board the “Grass Roots Express” for a new HBO project whose scope would be the entire 2004 presidential campaign. She had traveled already with most of the Democratic field, who included Gephardt, Kerry, Senators John Edwards of North Carolina , Joe Lieberman of Connecticut, and Bob Graham of Florida. If the Dean campaign were arbitarily assigned a 10, she was asked, how would the others rate? “Two, two, two, two, and two,” she answered without hesitation.

    The two reporters aboard Dean’s campaign plane who seemed most astounded by it all were, ironically (or appropriately) enough, the most seasoned in matters involving the political cynosure of 2003. Sam Hemingway of the Burlington Free Press and Stew Ledbetter of BurlingtonÕs WPTZ-TV sat aboard the Grass Roots Express on Tuesday morning, still digesting events so far on the trip, and especially of the night before, when Dean had made his most impassioned presentation of The Speech and got his most robust crowd reaction of all before a crowd of several thousand at San Antonio.

    Dean would vary his exit line, depending on circumstances. Sometimes it was “I promise I’ll make you proud again to vote Democratic;” sometimes it was “This time the president will be the one who gets the most votes.” Most often it was variations on “You have the power to take this country back.” At San Antonio, it was the latter and, aided by the acoustics of the arena as well as the energy of the crowd, a Latino-inflected one which had been the most ethnically diverse of the trip so far, Dean had literally soared, his concluding repetittions of the phrase “You have the power” becoming a mantra, an incantation that was matched syllable for resonant sylllable by the crowd. The mood had been , in the truest sense of the term, electric, and every reporter, staff member, and supporter on the plane Tuesday morning was still charged by it.

    Hemingway said to Ledbetter as the two sat side by side, “I don’t see how he can be denied.” And the TV reporter nodded gravely. Hemingway would later recall in some wonder how Dean had lnursed presidential ambitions during the runup to the 2000 campaign and seen his balloon deflated by a premature leak of his intentions by a watchful Al Gore. Vermont reporters had teased the governor unmercifully. “How’s your poll ratings in Iowa, Howard?” had been a sure rib-tickler among the press corps up thataway.

    Recalling all this in Manhattan’s Bryant Park on Tuesday night as Dean was wrapping up the tour simultaneously with the announcement on a Jumbo screen that the million-dollar mark in contributions had been reached, thereby tying Brush’s proceeds for the weekend, Hemingway tried to put things in perspective, suggesting that Dean might yet come back to earth with the end of the calendar year and the beginning of the presidential year proper. In an effort to capture the loyalty of Democratic traditionalists, Dean might be forced to retract his boldness somewhat within the shell of party cautiousness.

    Nah. It looked to be a case of the home-state reporter still pinching himself.

    The reality was that Dean’s fundraising was far in excess of what his Democratic opponents could muster — and was likely to remain so. His crowds were large and spontaneous, their enthusiasm genuine — not whetted up by campaign operatives. There was no such thing as a Dean rally without chants going up and sometimes interrupting the candidate. Dean, Dean, Dean or We Want Dean, We Want Dean, or any of several permutations on the theme. The excitement of these crowds, their satisfaction at seeing a Democrat on the attack, was palpable. They were believers in search of a redeemer — literally — and they believed they had found him. Alexandra Pelosi was visibly frustrated twice on the tour — once when her handheld camera failed to capture a tranvestite activist in a ball gown at Portland and another time, more tellingly, when she didn’t get the Young Democrat on the dais at Boise who likened his first experience of Dean to that of encountering Christ.

    Dean himself would recall, on the last leg of the plane trip, standing on the platform at Seattle’s Westlake Park and looking back at a sea of humanity, sme 10,000 strong, that snaked into all the side streets. “That was the most extraordinary moment,” said the man who, at that point, had been running for president for a solid year and a half. “that was the first time I realized that a very large number of people were dependent on me to change the course of things in America.”

    A steady component of the candidate’s set speech, close to the end, usually, was his declaration that “the biggest lie told in campaigns by people like me to people like you is that we can solve your problems.” The reality, as he would move on to say, was that people could take, first, their party back, then their country, by actions of their own. You have the power.

    “It isn’t so much what I say. It’s how I say it,” Dean would conclude. And, in truth, his rhetorical style, which — he confessed to a reporter — had once been that of “a bore,” had become intense, even at times incandescent. Sometimes he would even try to moderate expectations, as when in Austin, he had warned his listeners that he was “too conservative for you.” He later dilated on that: “They know I’m a little more conservative than they are — on the death penalty, for example, but they tolerate it because they want to win. and they also know I’ll stand up for what I believe in. The thing about me is that I’m not timid. I fight back, and I have an articulate vision. I don’t just throw bombs and say how terrible things are.”

    Observant reporters began to notice a peculiarly studied practice of Dean’s. When preparing to disembark from the plane to address a throng, he would carefully roll up his shirtsleeves to the elbow. When returning to the plane he would fastidiously rebutton the sleeves.

    He could be candid about such calculations of effect. “They come to see the show, and you’ve got to give them the show,” he said enroute to his last stop of the tour, in New York. “People don’t want things so ‘presidential’ any more.” It is the same realization, he believes, that has occurred to George w. Bush and which accounts for the president’s continued respectable (if dropping) ratings in the polls.

    Conservative, liberal, showman, statesman, or whatever, the man who ran Vermont’s state government for 12 years and oversaw, as he likes to boast, a string of balanced budgets, the small-state governor who opposed gun control and was supported by the NRA in his gubernatorial campaigns, the self-professed “non-ideological” executive who happened also to sign a bill legalizing civil unions for gay and lesbian couples and who, most importantly of all, regularly gives George Bush hell is very much the man of the hour in Democratic politics.

    “This is a political phenomenom the likes of which hasn’t been seen before,” boasts campaign manager Trippi, and maybe he’s right. Maybe indeed it’s too late — at least before the general election itself — for anyone to stop Dean. The rest of the Democratic field tries to be “too nice” to the president, tries to be “Bush Lite,” the candidate likes to say, somewhat scornfully, and that may cost them. It is certainly denying them the kind of momentum he — so far uniquely — can boast.

    THERE ARE MANY CORNERS TO HOWARD DEAN. Before he entered politics, he had careers as both a stockbroker and as a G.P. practitioner of medicine. It is the latter profession which he credits for giving him his impressively grasp of — and dependence on — facts. As for the origins of the charismatic politician now on display, to the surprise of so many (perhaps even himself), perhaps some clue was offered the night he boarded a bus of supporters headed from his rally in Austin to the one in San Antonio.

    A woman who had seen Dean, an amateur musicvian, on C-Span the month before playing the harmonica from Des Moines surprised him by handing him no fewer than five harmonicas, each tuned to a different key. “I like to come prepared,” he said, and bade him play. After trying several out, he settled on the one that was duned to D and gave a spirited rendition of Bob Dylan’s “With God on Our Side.” He handed the harmonica back and said, “I really wanted to do some blues riffs, but I couldn’t find the frets.”

    So far in this presidential campaign season, it is Dean’s political opponents who are experiencingng the blues, and the doctor from Vermont seems to have found the right frets to keep doing that.

    COMMENTARY

    Rare Bird

    …is Howard Dean. And after him may be another, Wesley Clark.

    It is the redeeming quality of American politics that occasionally a figure comes along unique enough to transcend all the operatives and G.O.T.V. manuals and crafted soundbites of a normal (which is to say, boring) political campaign. One such is Howard Dean, the Vermont ex-governor and Democratic presidential candidate whose cross-country campaign tour of last week is the subject of this week’s Flye cover story.

    Dean has become a phenomenom by doing something that, for other Democrats this campaign season, has evidently become undoable — taking the fight forthrightly to the opposition, in this case no less than the president of the United States, George W. Bush. Republicans have been doing this to Democrats for quite some time, and it has, arguably, gained them control of the presidency, the House, the Senate, most governorships, and (not coincidentally) the Supreme Court.

    Democrats have — no other way to put it — feared to.

    Putting aside for the moment the rights and wrongs of the president’s tax cuts or his decision to make war in Iraq, it is incontestable that these are policies or high national moment, with consequences that for better or for worse will affect all Americans. What has distinguished the commentary of most leading Democrats on these issues, at least up to the present moment, is the tentative — nay, mealy-mouthed — nature of it all. So carefully calculated so as to seem pale shadows of the president’s own pronouncements, most official Democratic statements have been of he “yes, but’ variety — failing in both clarity and apparent sincerity.

    One is reminded of former president Harry Truman’s reported statement that if Americans are given a choice between a Republican point of view and a Republican point of view, “they’ll take the Republican every time.”

    Howard Dean, in conscious emulation of Truman (and of Republicans like Barry Goldwater and Ronald Reagan) has decided to provide instead the proverbial “choice, not an echo.” Of all things — the presentation of an opposing point of view! Dean even says out loud that he thinks the president might be (shhhhh) lying about some things.

    That kind of forthrightness is, right or wrong, what got Dean to where he is today, in front of the Democratic pack of presidential hopefuls and about to make a rout of the race. Dean argues convincingly that if he keeps it up he’ll draw three or four million new voters out, enough to make a diffderence at the polls.

    Threre was an after-hours moment during his campaign tour last week — in San Antonio, Texas, of all places — when Dean and members of his staff took turns, as an outgrowth of their prep for a televised Democratic debate this week, doing impressions of the Vermonter’s party rivals. Dean, at 5′ 8″, was especially skillful at suggesting a long, lean Senator John Kerry drawing himself up, caterpillar-like, to his full dignified height. And he did a credible molasses-mouthed version of John Edwards, the senator from North Carolina.

    (The candidate’s staff would just as soon we hadn’t blabbed all that, but — hey! — telling it means telling it.)

    There’s one potential Democratic candidate that Dean doesn’t have a distance on yet, and that’s former NATO commander Wesley Clark, the telegenic Arkansan (sound familiar) who, like Dean, is a critic of Bush’s tax cuts and his Iraq policies and is apparently about to announce his own candidacy for the presidency during the next week or two.

    The two of them will be talking before that happens, said Dean, who granted that Clark’s positions were similar but opined that he might draw more votes away from Kerry than from himself. (Dean’s campaign manager, Joe Trippi, a tell-all type if there ever was one, was candid about Clark: “He’ll have legs.”

    If Clark does get in, we’ll have a sudden embarassment of riches. Two candidates willing to put it on the line? All we can say is, Bring it!

    J.B.

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    News News Feature

    CITY BEAT

    BLUES ODYSSEY

    When they started doing research on the history of the blues in 1995, brothers Frank and Eddie Thomas didn’t know they were embarking on a musical odyssey that would take them seven years and lead from the roof of the Falls Building in downtown Memphis to the choir loft of St. Louis Cathedral in New Orleans.

    Their idea was to be “songstorians” of blues and jazz, with Eddie performing and Frank recording at sites along Highway 61. This year they completed the fourth and final CD of Angels on the Backroads, their remarkable collection of 65 songs by 55 singers and composers both famous and obscure.

    Except for a segment on National Public Radio,Angels on the Backroads hasn’t yet received the national acclaim it deserves. The softspoken Thomas brothers live in the little northeast Mississippi town of Iuka, where Frank is director of a church choir and Eddie used to be a pharmacist. They are selling the set on the Internet at their website, www.angelsonthebackroads.com.

    Eddie sings and plays guitars and trumpet on location and backs himself up on piano, drum, and harmonica tracks recorded in a studio. Frank recorded the songs in settings that included cotton gins, railroad crossings, remote country stores, the banks of the Mississippi River, and the Louisiana State Prison at Angola, hauling a trunkload of equipment up and down Highway 61 on countless trips between 1998 and 2002.

    They started in 1995 at the Blues Archives of the Department of Archives and Special Collections at the University of Mississippi, where Eddie had gone to pharmacy school 30 years ago. Musicians almost all of their lives, Eddie and Frank, a graduate of LSU, were looking for a worthy follow-up to a CD about the Natchez Trace they wrote, performed, and produced the previous year.

    They decided they would look for the origins of the music that rocked their youth and influenced such artists as James Brown, Otis Redding, Bob Dylan, and the Rolling Stones.

    “The music that we were playing and listening to back in high school didn’t originate in London or Greenwich Village,” says Eddie. “There was this wonderful musical aroma around us and we came to find out that we were living right on the edge of the garden.”

    For more than two years they drove back and forth to Oxford, making 45 one-hour tapes of hundreds of songs.

    “We had already read most of the books and stories of the music but we hadn’t heard it,” says Frank. “We would listen to something we liked and then put it on the map of Mississippi based on where the author was from or whatever the song was about. Then Eddie would take the tapes home and decipher the words and learn the songs. At this point we didn’t know we were going to record on location. We just knew there was a story there.”

    In 1998 they began to literally connect the dots on their map and record songs. Eleven songs on the first CD were recorded in Memphis. On the roof of the Falls Building, once the site of the Alaskan Roof Garden where W. C. Handy and his band performed in 1914, Eddie played the opening trumpet refrain of “St. Louis Blues.” On subsequent visits, they recorded “Downtown Blues” on a trolley car, “Mississippi Bottom Blues” at The Peabody, “Downhearted Blues” at The Orpheum, and “Memphis Blues” at the corner of Main and Madison.

    Next, with frequent side trips, they set off down Highway 61. On a good day they would get two songs done or as many as five songs on an overnight trip. When mockingbirds sang, dogs barked, or train whistles blew in the background, Frank called it the voice of the angels and got it all on tape. Curious onlookers often remarked “that’s pretty good” when Eddie gave one of his impromptu concerts. His vocal range and guitar-playing talent is amazing. He doesn’t try to mimic the originals but takes pains to get the key, phrasing, and finger-picking just right. He does “Jolie Blonde’ in Cajun French.

    By the time the brothers were ready to record the last songs in New Orleans, word had gotten around, and an NPR crew came to do a segment at St. Louis Cathedral. On the first take, Eddie nailed the haunting “Sweet Hour of Prayer,” a tribute to Mahalia Jackson, leaving the interviewer nearly speechless. To the Thomases, it was blessed by an angel.

    Categories
    News News Feature

    MAD AS HELL

    ROCKIN’ WITH ROY

    Roy’s Rock rolled. It only took three minutes to jack it up and roll it out of the Alabama courthouse. You know the one – the two and a half ton slab of marble with the Protestant version of the Ten Commandments. Now, Roy the Rebellious is rash with religiosity. Thankfully, he is also powerless. And of course, anyone who disagrees is a God-hater.

    Two years ago, in the middle of the night, after much bombast and ceremony, Judge Roy Moore moved the washing-machine sized monument into his state’s rotunda. Some group with the word eagle in their name paid for all of it. He never consulted with the other judges, he never informed the public. But he claimed that because he was a state judge, his oath required his constant acknowledgement of God and it was real important that he make that acknowledgement at all times, thus the rock.

    He also made a lot of other claims – America is a nation founded by Christians, Christians are victims of religious bigotry and persecution, Federal judges will come in the night to confiscate Bibles, and if anyone in Alabama attempted to take the monument out of the state house, it would be a call for “religious genocide”. Whew. We’re talking serious crackpot stuff, folks.

    Now, I don’t know about you, but if there are over 350 churches in Montgomery, Alabama – mostly all Protestant evangelical – doesn’t it sound just a bit strange to hear that it is the Christians who are being persecuted? Gosh, all those hundreds of thousands of Buddhists, Hindus, Jews, Muslims, Wiccans, Scientologists, and Zoroastrians in Montgomery should be a little more considerate! The accusation that Christians, in Alabama, or anywhere else in the U.S., are victims of religious bigotry reveals how the meaning of the term “bigotry” has been inverted by fundamentalists. While seeking a “Christian” nation, by forcing others to submit to his rule, the judge is claiming discrimination. Oh, the irony!

    But there were lots of ironies in the antics of Roy’s rabble who showed up to support the rock. Before the monument was moved, folks laid down and prayed before it. I wondered if that was violating the commandment that says not to worship graven images, but it didn’t seem to bother any of the Christian “defenders”, so I guess it was okay. A protester carried a 10-foot cross stating that “they can move the monument, but they can’t take it out of our hearts.” I wondered why, if it is in his heart, it is so important to have it in the state courthouse?

    The greatest irony, however, is that in the South, where Roy and most of his supporters come from – where a Baptist church is on almost every corner – quality of life is..well, not the greatest. Just think, the people who have called for the Ten Commandments to posted in public schools, courthouses, airports, park benches, post offices, train stations, and telephone poles, live in the region of the country that has the highest rates of poverty, drug abuse, crime, divorce, illiteracy, incarcerations, executions, alcohol dependency, domestic violence, veneral disease, school dropouts, and gun related homicide. Something about that seems inverted, too.

    Christian fundamentalism, like all other forms of religious fundamentalism, fosters ignorance and certitude through the use of force. It creates division, and prevents progress through unity. Keep that in mind, the next time you turn on your television and see a fellow braying like a donkey, and calling people God-haters. Better yet, next time you hear about another one of those car- bombings in the Middle East, ask yourself if the perpetrator is a religious fundamentalist just following God’s law.

    Categories
    Politics Politics Beat Blog

    CARNEGIE WALL

    Sandy Levine points out Don and Martha

    The Carnegie Deli at 7th Avenue and 55th St. in midtown Manhattan offers what might be the largest and most edible sandwich portions of any eatery anywhere (the pastrami is mountain-sized; the Reuben, swimming in a homemade succulent sauce, redefines the species); it also serves up some passing large coincidences.

    Take about 5 p.m. last Tuesday night, when a few handlers from the Howard Dean campaign led a busload of journalists into the place, which was already crowded and would stay that way. This was a chance for the group, who had been touring the country with Democratic presidential candidate Dean, to light for a while in the company of one or more of the bountiful snacks. No sooner were they seated than a large, gregarious man who introduced himself as Sandy Levine, the manager, came stalking in to ask, “Anybody here know Governor Sundquist or Governor Musgrove?”

    Now, Tennessee’s former governor and Mississippi’s present one were both known to at least one member of the visiting party — moi — but, even as I acknowledged the fact, I couldn’t fathom why he should have named just those two. Half of our group hailed from New York, a goodly part of the remainder called D.C. home, and the rest were from points north or from urban areas of Florida (the next closest thing to north).

    And while, as it turned out, framed and autographed photos of both Don Sundquist (with wife Martha) and Ronnie Musgrove were attached to the wall of the room we were seated in, so were hundreds — if not thousands — of other such photographs, from political and athletic and entertainment celebrities of every kind, from every point of origin under the sun.

    Whatever the reason, Levine had pushed my button, and once he’d ID’d me, went on to point out the photographs in question, then said, “You know Senator Persons? I got something to show you from him!” Now, that had to be Curtis Person (not Persons), the state senator who represents portions of East Memphis, Cordova, and Germantown, but now the coincidence was turning uncanny. I do indeed live in Curtis Person’s senate district.

    And, sure enough, just around the corner in another room was another wall covered from side to side and top to bottom with framed photographs and mementoes, and Sandy (he was one of those specimens who get to be on first-name terms with you right away) proudly showed me the certificate, signed by Curtis Person and other state officials, which made him an honorary citizen of Tennessee.

    Moral of the story? There is none — unless it is that the political skills of the formidable Senator Person — who has been opposed for reelection only once since 1966 — extend to midtown Manhattan. Or that Governor Sundquist, the frustrated tax-reform advocate whose tenure has been put somewhat in the shade by the legislative prowess of budget-cutting successor Phil Bredesen, still has boosters in the Big Apple. Or that Governor Musgrove, locked in a close battle this year with Haley Barbour, is running ahead in the Carnegie poll.

    Or that, indeed, it is a small world. But one with prenaturally large, delicious sandwiches. The Carnegie Deli — even without Sandy’s several teeming walls — is not to be missed.

    Categories
    News News Feature

    THE WEATHERS REPORT

    TIME TO EAT CROW

    “Will the United Nations serve the purpose of its founding, or will it be irrelevant?”

    -President George W. Bush, September 12, 2002

    “We must come together to deal with this crisis or it tends to make the United Nations somewhat irrelevant.”

    Secretary of State Colin Powell, September 13, 2002

    “Now, at some point [the United Nations] has to ask how does it feel about that–does it want to be irrelevant? . . .”

    Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, September 18, 2002

    “. . . [T]he president cannot imagine that the United Nations wants to make itself irrelevant.”

    Presidential press secretary Ari Fleischer, October 3, 2002.

    ______________________________________________________________________________

    “We’ve got to have more international participation in the international coalition force.”

    General John P. Abizaid, top American commander for Iraq, August 28, 2003

    ______________________________________________________________________________

    Oh, how it must stick in Rummy’s wrinkled craw, hearing his own top general tell everybody who will listen, “Look, we need help from the rest of the world.” A year ago, the neocons in the White House could not have been more eager to declare the United Nations “irrelevant” because it wouldn’t follow our marching orders on Iraq. The president’s advisors were practically begging him to go it alone, to show the rest of the world we didn’t need it. But now our own commanders are begging for something else: more “international participation” to fix the mess Bush, Rice and Rummy have created in Iraq. He won’t say so out loud, but you can bet General Abizaid would love to have in the field beside him right now a couple of divisions from “Old” Europe’s Germany and France.

    Eat crow, Donald Rumsfeld.

    Sorry, I can’t help it. Sometimes saying, “We told you so” to an arrogant twit is just too tempting.

    Lately the Bush administration, finally heeding the advice of its only true internationalist, Colin Powell, has been skulking around the back rooms of the U.N. lobbying for a Security Council resolution that would send troops from other countries to Iraq to take some of the pressure off our own overburdened soldiers. Of course, we still want full military control over any forces that come in. And we’re not promising to give anybody else–especially them damn Frenchies!–any say in how Iraq is run or where the reconstruction money is going. (In case you didn’t know, it’s going to Halliburton and Bechtel–big Republican contributors. Duh!) Still, control issues aside, we’re asking the U.N. for military help.

    Oh, yes, and the Bush administration is also calling now for an “international donors conference” in Madrid in late October, hoping to persuade the nations of the United Nations to raise money to help pay for Bush’s little exercise in shock and awe. I love that: “international donors conference.” Sounds like folks who give blood.

    Which is pretty much what the Bushites want the nations of the U.N. to do: put their young men’s bodies on the line to draw some of the fire from ours.

    The hawks of hubris decided last spring that we could go it alone. The war would be over fast, and the Iraqis would welcome our troops with flowers. Well, the war was declared over fast, back in May, by Mr. Bush himself. But apparently Saddam’s boys weren’t paying attention, and the Islamic militants in that part of the world saw that Iraq had become a barrel in which American fish were now conveniently swimming, practically asking to be shot. Now more American soldiers have been killed since the president’s declaration of victory than were killed in the “war” itself. Shock and awe? Aw, shucks.

    The war-mongers are learning a difficult lesson: Flowers are not what blossom from grenade-launchers.

    But it does no good just to bash Bush. People are still dying in Iraq–our people and theirs (85 of theirs on August 29 alone, in a Shiite mosque)–and it needs to stop.

    So here’s what Bush should do now:

  • First, he should go to France and Germany personally and apologize in speeches to their legislatures.
  • Second, he should deliver a speech to the United Nations, admitting he was wrong to go it alone in Iraq and requesting that the U.N. organize a multinational force of at least 30,000 soldiers who will take over security operations in Baghdad and in the major cities where Saddam’s Sunnis are not most prominent, defusing some of the growing anti-American hatred. (Americans can continue to hunt for Saddam in Sunni-dominated Tikrit, where hatred will thrive anyway.) He should also ask for U.N. help in reconstructing Iraq’s social infrastructure–a task the organization has proved itself well-suited for in the past.
  • Third, he should request that such a bail-out-the-U.S. resolution be proposed in the security council by France, Russia and Germany, so it has a decent chance to pass. The proposal should put the multinational military force jointly under the control of an American general and a Norwegian general. Everyone seems to trust the Norwegians, the most loyal supporters of the U.N. for decades and already part of the U.S. coalition in Iraq. Norway’s defense minister, Kristin Krohn Devold, even uses language Rumsfeld can understand when explaining her country’s military availability: “We want to be relevant,” she told The New York Times recently.
  • Fourth, Bush should call U.N. weapons inspectors–citing Hans Blix by name, if necessary–back into Iraq to look for the unconventional weapons Bush and Blair have claimed were there. Why? Because if American special ops forces find such weapons now, who will believe they didn’t plant them?
  • Fifth, Bush must promise to share the profits of Iraqi reconstruction with businesses from the nations sending the multinational force, even if it means a little less money in his 2004 campaign war chest from Halliburton and Bechtel. And when Iraqi oil starts to flow again, other nations should be free to make deals for it.
  • And sixth, Bush should rescind his massive tax cut for the rich, so our children and grandchildren aren’t bankrupted by this billions-per-year war.

    Presidential political hack Karl Rove should advise his boss that it’s in Bush’s own best interests to take such a path, for history tells us that a Republican president voted out of office is of little use. So I ask you, Mr. Bush: Do you want to make yourself irrelevant?

  • Categories
    Politics Politics Beat Blog

    THE AMAZING EXPANDING MAN…

    Former Vermont Gov. Howard Dean, who began his presidential bid as a long shot several months ago, has now become a full-blown frontrunner among Democrats, his dimensions and prospects expanding in much the way of the giant screen blowup at stage right of his Tuesday night rally at Bryant Park in midtown Manhattan. The Flyer traveled with the candidate during a 10-city, three-day cross-country tour that began on Saturday in suburban Washington, D.C. We’ll share the results with you over the next few days on this website and in next week’s issue of the Flyer. Meanwhile, here’s a photo scrapbook of sorts.