Danny Johnson, a salesman from Gary, Indiana, has been accused of stabbing
Kevin Hicks of West Memphis with a pair of barber s scissors. Hicks claims
that Johnson offered to cut his hair for the low-low price of $3, but upped
the price to $7 after he finished the job. Needless to say, Hicks didn t leave
a tip.
West Memphis, which the Federal Emergency Management Agency claims is
vulnerable to tornadoes, winter storms, and floods, received a $300,000 grant
to help minimize the effects of disasters. Of course, the most difficult task
facing West Memphians is determining if a disaster has actually struck their
little community, or if it just looks like one has.
A full-page ad in the March issue of the Downtowner, a magazine that
focuses on the wonders of downtown living, features a largish picture of MATA
president/general manager William Hudson Jr., along with several smaller
images of the MATA board of commissioners. A blurry caption reads, The MATA
board and staff congratulate Will Hudson as none of the Downtowners of the
Decade. No doubt the sentiment is shared by any number of Memphians who
actually have to use the MATA system as their primary means of transportation.
Let’s begin by repeating all the known quantities and by doing so in the
simplest of all possible terms. The Civil War isn’t over. It lives on in the
hearts and minds of Southerners whose ancestors gave their lives fighting for
the “Stars and Bars” and everything for which it currently stands: a
fiction, an idealized past imbued with the kind of passionate Gone With the
Wind romanticism that is ever the legacy of failed causes.
The African-American community, whose first significant taste of
citizenship came not with the Emancipation Proclamation but rather the civil
rights movement of the 1960s, is likewise still fighting the Battle of Bull
Run. To them the Confederate flag also represents heritage, but a heritage of
hardship, oppression, and slavery; a heritage that no amount of equal-
opportunity legislation can temper or erase. The issue has been compounded by
the number of hateful, often violent, white supremacist groups who have taken
up the Rebel banner and effectively branded it as their own.
The battle lines around the flag have been drawn — hate versus
heritage — with one side fighting to keep the flag, the other attempting to
ban it. Oddly enough, at least in this writer’s opinion, the opposing sides on
this hot-button issue are both actually working against the fulfillment of
their agendas. But there is a solution which will weed out the hatemongers and
either allow the Confederate flag to continue flying proudly with general
public approval or cause it to fall into the dustbin of irrelevant (yes) pop
culture.
The problem is that no one who is taking part in this conflict
seems to understand the nature of language and symbols. The opposing sides are
fighting like a family over a disputed inheritance, with deeply divisive and
ultimately negative results. To understand a symbol one has to know that once
it has been brought into the world it takes on certain physical, almost
Newtonian, properties that are not entirely unlike those ascribed to matter
and energy. Language — of which symbols like flags and insignia are an
important subset — has both weight and mass. It can even, in a certain sense,
create its own gravity. Consider how drawn we are, as a culture, to buzzwords,
catchphrases, and the like, and you will see that this theory is not so far-
fetched. Notice how we “rally round the flag” like little patriotic
satellites. Much like matter and energy, such symbols cannot be destroyed, but
the terms of their meaning and relevance can be changed.
Placing a ban on the public display of the Confederate flag
creates a common cause for its supporters, whether they be on the hate-group
or the heritage-minded side of the fence. If you ban the flag, suddenly the
two disparate support groups are no longer so very disparate; they are on the
same team. History has proven that few actions can galvanize a group to action
more than the legal suppression of a beloved symbol. If the flag is banned
from public display its influence will be amplified and its general use
limited to those who seek to energize their racist causes. Any misty-eyed
nostalgia associated with the flag will be changed to vital, contemporary
concern. Such is the nature of symbols. Note the history of the swastika — an
image which is banned in Germany — and its continued use by neo-Nazis around
the globe.
So if we don’t ban the Confederate flag, how then should we deal
with the issue? The solution is simple really, though it will require the
cooperation of the African-American community. They must stop protesting the
flag and let it wave freely. But this is just the beginning; step two requires
a bit more chutzpah. African-American role models — athletes,
musicians, politicians, ministers, and corporate leaders — must begin the
transformation of the flag’s image by absorbing it into their culture. Imagine
Spike Lee at a Knicks game sporting a warmup suit proudly emblazoned with the
Rebel flag. Imagine O.D.B. with it tattooed on his chest. Imagine the African-
American community taking the flag’s fundamental meaning — that of rebellion
— and with it creating an all-out fashion revolt against small-mindedness and
hate.
In the ’80s and ’90s, many gays began calling themselves
“queer,” thereby turning a formerly derogatory label into an
empowering brand. They began sporting the word on T-shirts with the whimsical
image of a $3 bill. An even more potent statement could be made by
incorporating the Confederate flag into black iconography. Those white
supporters who now cling to the banner out of a sense of heritage rather than
hate should have no problem with this, since their beloved emblem will no
longer be an inert reminder of past defeat but rather a vital, relevant symbol
for defiance and progress. It will again be what it once was, a glorious
rallying point for Americans who feel unduly oppressed. Once the flag has been
captured and fully incorporated into black culture to the point of ubiquity it
will naturally be relinquished by the hate groups who want nothing to do with
the signs and symbols of their enemies. Besides opposing forces can’t ride
into battle sporting the same flag, now can they?
Let’s fix this problem once and for all. Steal this flag.
You can e-mail (and we know you will) Chris Davis at davis@memphisflyer.com.
Scientists studying the 7.7-magnitude earthquake which shook India, causing tremendous property damage and claiming the lives of 20,000 people, announced that an even stronger quake might occur along the New Madrid fault which runs through the Mid-South. On the other hand, some scientists believe that the New Madrid fault is too short and fat to produce a significant quake. Noting that both the Indian fault and the New Madrid fault, similar in size and shape, produced large quakes during the early 1800s, one scientific camp believes that major earthquakes can occur every few hundred years. Another camp, however, holds that significant quakes occur only every thousand or so years. In light of all this new highly scientific information, it is clear that Memphis may (or may not) experience a major earthquake sometime in the near (or distant) future. Should we experience a quake, people may (or may not) die and/or suffer injury/property damage.
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We regularly see actors on commercials claiming to have had their
migraines, diarrhea, psoriasis, hemorrhoids, halitosis, depression, colds, and
flatulence cured by some new and/or improved miracle potion that is up to 10
percent more effective than the other leading brand, the liquid or capsule
answer to a visit from Glenda the Good Witch. We don’t know what these
performers actually promote once the cameras have stopped rolling, nor can we
be sure they actually suffer these accursed ailments. We see Britney Spears
hawking Pepsi, though (at least according to official request documents
obtained by the Web site The Smoking Gun) she requires that a number of Coca-
Cola products be available backstage at her shows. It’s a mixed-up muddled-up
shook-up world out there in TV land, where money puts words into the mouths of
influential people, celebs, jocks, nameless ravishing beauties, and unknown
comics; words that might never have been there without significant financial
remuneration.
And then there is Jared Fogle. He’s the once-morbidly-bese, now-
thin-and-ultra-chipper spokesman for Subway Sandwiches’ low-fat menu. He
claims to have lost 245 pounds — over half his body weight — by walking and
eating nothing but a steady diet of Subway sandwiches and baked potato chips.
It sounds like just another marketing ploy cooked up around a conference table
by smartly appointed advertising types in black outfits and chunky designer
eyewear. But no. Before he started munching chicken and veggie-sandwiches
Fogle really did weigh nearly half a metric ton. Now he’s long and gangly.
Thanks to a combination of fortitude and good fortune Fogle is the rarest of
TV spokespersons: He’s the real-meal deal.
Fogle stopped in Memphis recently during a promo tour for
Subway.
Flyer: Did you set out on this diet hoping to become
the TV spokesperson for Subway?
Jared Fogle: Halfway through the diet, around the fall of
1998, my mom wrote a letter to Subway. Never got a response. Maybe the letter
got lost in the mail, I don’t know, but it never got a response. I didn’t
think Subway was going to care anyway and that just reinforced it for me. But
that was okay because I was doing this for me.
You stress the importance of walking as part of your weight-
loss program. How far away did you live from Subway?
I actually shared a wall with them. They were right next door.
Obviously I was eating a lot of Subway as it was, just not the low-fat. I was
eating the steak-and-cheese and the meatball and stuff like that.
So you didn’t get the exercise actually walking to
Subway?
No.
Good thing they didn’t put in a Pizza Hut or
something.
Yeah.
So how did you eventually hook up with Subway?
A friend of mine who wrote for [the Indiana University] newspaper
wrote a story about me. He hadn’t seen me for eight or nine months, so I was
close to the end of the diet, and he didn’t recognize me. This happened all
the time — people I knew wouldn’t recognize me because it was such a dramatic
weight loss. Anyway he thought it was the neatest thing and wanted to write a
story about it. That got everything snowballing. They are a big enough paper
that the story went out over the AP wire and got picked up all around the
country: Portland, Oregon, San Diego, Boston. Shortly after that I got a call
from Subway’s national advertising agency.
Do you still eat only at Subway?
I don’t. I mean I eat at Subway a couple of times a week, but
I’ve had the weight off for two years now. When I’m going to have fast food I
eat there, because I don’t like the grease or the heaviness of your typical
fast food. But I eat what I want now; I just don’t eat the quantities.
Now for a math question. Let’s say I want to lose 50 pounds by
walking to and eating at Subway three times a day. I live five miles from
Subway, but only work five blocks from Subway. How long before I lose the 50
pounds?
That’s the frustrating part. I don’t say to go out and do exactly
what I did. For some people it might not take any time at all; but for some
people it could cause more problems than it helps. You need to talk to a
doctor first because your body could react badly to it.
Throughout the South controversy over flags most notably the Confederate battle flag and state flags that incorporate that flag into their design is out of control. Tennessee, whose own state flag is among the most tasteful and elegant in the nation, may soon be entering a similar fray. At the urging of a Methodist youth group, State Rep. John Mark Windle has sponsored a bill to add the words In God We Trust to Tennessee s flag. To avoid the church vs. state arguments which will surely spring up around this issue, we suggest that Windle alter the bill to include the words All others pay cash.
Throughout the South controversy over flags most notably the Confederate battle flag and state flags that incorporate that flag into their design is out of control. Tennessee, whose own state flag is among the most tasteful and elegant in the nation, may soon be entering a similar fray. At the urging of a Methodist youth group, State Rep. John Mark Windle has sponsored a bill to add the words In God We Trust to Tennessee s flag. To avoid the church vs. state arguments which will surely spring up around this issue, we suggest that Windle alter the bill to include the words All others pay cash.
Brad Warthen, a writer for the Tribune News Service, recently published an article titled, Elvis has Left the Building, which was supposedly about former President Bill Clinton. It began, He s such a drag, he s not insane, it s just that everybody has to feel his pain, which is a quote from Elvis Costello s Brit-pop hit, No Dancing. It went on to say, Elvis … left a huge mess in the Jungle Room pill bottles, sequined capes, and half-eaten banana sandwiches everywhere, which is clearly a reference to Elvis Presley s Graceland, in spite of the fact that the King actually ate peanut butter and banana sandwiches. The poor mixed-up wordsmith has obviously got his Elvii confused. What s more, he thinks that comparing Clinton to Elvis (P. not C.) is somehow going to further damage the former president s reputation. He s obviously never seen the teeming masses that flock to Memphis during Death Week.
A number of interesting items were up for grabs at the $ale of the $entury, at the fairgrounds this past weekend. Our favorite was a T-shirt which read simply, Jesus is whazzup.