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Author: Joey Hack
Behind every sign put up in a restaurant, there is bound to be a story.
At Elliott’s on Second in Downtown Memphis, signs warn of disasters and doom due to salad bar abuses. We believe there must have been an epic salad bar heist in which someone spilled a drink as a diversion while his or her accomplice stole a bunch of salad, or, perhaps worse, made a second trip to the salad bar.
Let’s just hope these signs (with red highlights!) prevent future disasters of this nature so the honest patrons of Elliott’s can enjoy the appropriate amount of fixin’s on their “bake potato’s”.
Tennessee’s “Guns In Trunks” law takes effect today. State and city leaders are still not in agreement as to how this impacts employers’ rights to establish rules prohibiting guns on their property.
It is also unclear whether this law will impact the 1995 “Junk In The Trunk” law enacted after state legislators watched an episode of The Jerry Springer Show and ate some ham.
In light of news that the new owners of the Nineteenth Century Club” on Union Avenue will demolish the historic building, many Memphians, particularly Midtowners, are furious.
Perhaps the City Council can propose a bill aimed at mollifying the notoriously vocal Midtown crowd? The SUMO (Shut Up Midtowners Ordinance) would require that any Midtown building that is more than 50 years old can not be demolished unless it is replaced by a Trader Joe’s.
Such an ordinance should have the effect of short circuiting Midtowners brains to the point where they are utterly unable to respond to any proposed demolition.
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Knock Knock?
Knock Knock?
Who’s There?
Get a new lawyer.
Get a new lawyer who?
No, seriously, get a new lawyer.
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International Delights
At the Cordova Farmer’s Market International, you can find pretty much any international foodstuffs you might want, from duck embryos to five gallon drums of soy sauce.
You can also find products endorsed by one hit wonder, PSY.
We hope this heralds the way for Carly Ray Jepsen’s lucrative “Cauliflower, Baby” endorsement deal and Rebecca Black’s new role as a pitch person for TGI Friday’s frozen appetizers.
Men’s Wearhouse, the fancier cousin of The New York Suit Exchange, today fired founder and chairman George Zimmer.
His termination letter reportedly started as follows:
“You’re not going to like the rest of this letter. Guaranteed.”
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New NSA Slogans
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