Author: Patricia Lockhart

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Opinion The Last Word

Memphis Is My Boyfriend: Testing Season

Online resources can help. (Photo: Patricia Lockhart)

’Tis the season for testing! While the weather is warming and most of us are eager to get outside, it’s a different season for our tweens and teens. I’m the grateful mom of four — an 11-year-old girl, twin 13-year-old boys, and a 16-year-old boy. This spring, they’re all facing end-of-year assessments. My middle schoolers are preparing for TNReady (TCAP), while my high schooler is tackling AP Exams, ACTs, and more. These tests are crucial for their next steps in education. Since hubby and I know the trajectory we want for their educational future, their performance matters. So we aim for balance during the testing season: work hard, play hard.

Get them tutoring or homework help

Parents, if you know that math isn’t your thing, don’t you go undoing all that hard work the teacher put in by trying to teach your child “how you did math 20-plus years ago.” While the procedural steps of mathematics haven’t drastically changed, the conceptual learning of math has. So leave it up to the professionals. My high schooler is involved with math that contains more letters and angles than numbers. Since there is nothing I can do to help him, I rely on outside resources. Check out tutoring or homework help at your school or local library. The Homework Hotline is still going strong! You can either get help with homework or free weekly tutoring at homeworkhotline.info. My favorite online resource is Khan Academy. It’s filled with standards-aligned content for a variety of subjects. What I love most are their “how-to videos” for math. Khan Academy is great if your tween/teen already has a foundation about a subject, but just needs more practice.

Ease up on them at home

During the testing season, my hubby and I absorb all the chores and cooking. Typically, everyone in the house has chores they are responsible for, including the parents. We find it best to consistently model the expectations rather than only voice them. But during testing, hubby and I divide the chores among only us. The kids simply come home and have a little down time before reviewing the next day’s testing subject. We do ask them to be considerate and clean up after themselves as much as possible.

We also absorb all the cooking responsibilities. Just like the chores, everyone is responsible for cooking a healthy meal at least one night a week. But not during testing season! For three to four weeks, hubby and I cook every meal. Yes, it adds more to our plate after a long workday, but our future goals are not hinged upon our performance on one test. So we do whatever we can to ensure that our kids have space for rest and review. 

Extracurricular activities

Last year, we made a huge mistake. We removed extracurricular activities from the schedule during testing season. No ballet practice. No video games. No random outings. After school, the kids were instructed to come home, do nothing, then study a little bit. While they were okay for the first few days, energies began to increase because they did not have a creative outlet. 

It didn’t take long for the lack of creative outlets to shake things up. Activities like ballet, gaming, and random outings weren’t just fun pastimes — they were little mood-boosters and motivators. Creative outlets gave them a way to let off steam, express themselves, and come back to their studies feeling refreshed. Without them, all that extra energy had nowhere to go, which only led to bickering and boredom. 

I’m a huge fan of the Memphis Public Libraries. They have a ton of activities for tweens/teens to get involved in. Dungeons & Dragons, music labs, videography, Drumming 101, chess, crafts, and so much more! If you’re looking for a creative outlet for your tween/teen, check out the activities at the Memphis Public Libraries.

Testing season can be tough, but it doesn’t have to be miserable. A little balance goes a long way! From tutoring help and lightening their chores to letting them enjoy their favorite activities, it’s all about setting them up for success. And, once again, don’t sleep on the Memphis Public Libraries — they’ve got tons of cool programs to keep kids inspired and refreshed. At the end of the day, we’re just here to cheer them on and help them do their best! 

Patricia Lockhart is a native Memphian who loves to read, write, cook, and eat. By day, she’s an assistant principal and writer, but by night … she’s asleep.

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Opinion The Last Word

Memphis Is My Boyfriend: Spring Break Survival 

Ice cream — and food in general — keep the tweens and teens happy. (Photos: Patricia Lockhart)

Soon, flowers will bloom, painting the landscape with vibrant colors. The sun will shine for more hours, casting a glow over the freshly repaired potholes. Birds will sing cheerful melodies, and people will cruise through the city blasting GloRilla. But something else is stirring: spring break!

I’m a mother of four wonderful teens/tweens — an 11-year-old girl, twin 13-year-old boys, and a 16-year-old boy. And nothing is more exciting than the arrival of spring break. A full week with nothing pressing to do! But with tweens and teens, it hits differently. If you plan too much, they’ll complain. If you plan nothing, they’ll complain. Making sure your teens enjoy their break is a delicate balancing act. So, here’s a Teen Spring Break Survival Guide that will help you stay sane while keeping your teens (mostly) happy! Follow this foolproof (okay, semi-foolproof) plan:

• Limit your fun activities to one per day. 

Don’t overfill your teen’s schedule. While they may enjoy what you plan, let’s be real, teens love one thing above all else: being left alone. Pick activities carefully. We’re heading to Monster Mini Golf in Cordova, where they can enjoy glow-in-the-dark minigolf. And if they’re feeling extra adventurous, they might choose to play laser tag, too. (Keyword: choose — forcing extra fun is a crime in Teen Law.) More than one activity is overwhelming; less is boringggg.

• Involve lots of food.

At least one activity should involve food. My kids love to activate their “summer stomachs” during breaks. They have first breakfast, second breakfast, brunch, lunch, snacks, dinner, dessert, and a late-night snack. We are currently vibing on Jay’s Coffee & Cuisine in Millington. Everything on their menu is delicious. We’ve tried their shrimp and grits, chicken and waffles, french toast, pancakes, and fries. Jay’s fries are out of this world! They are the BEST FRIES IN MEMPHIS. Period! Jay’s also serves lattes, syrups, and teas. I’m currently loving their lavender matcha latte.

• Leave them alone.

Arrange at least one day where you don’t call their name. Yeah, I said it! Need a glass of water? You’re going to have to get it yourself. Can’t find the remote? Try looking under the couch cushions or in the refrigerator. Who knows where they put it. For a full 24-hour period, require nothing of your teen. Nada. Zilch! Just like you get tired of hearing Mom, Mama, Bruh, they also get tired of being called to do tasks. Trust me: It’s peaceful on both sides.

• Let them sleep.

Do not wake them before noon. My teens stay up all night watching ’90s sitcoms and playing video games. Waking them up before noon is like poking a hormonal grizzly bear — only do it if you want a moody teen stomping through the house. Plus, the later they sleep, the fewer hours you have to entertain them. So while they rest, I’ll head to Hopson’s Espresso Print Coffee Shop in Bartlett. They’re a new coffee shop with the best butter cookies this side of the Mississippi. My go-to is the English toffee latte — just the right temp and taste. During spring break, I’ll be there playing my Nintendo Switch.

• Find something for you to do.

While they’re gaming, sleeping, eating, or doing anything but taking a shower, find something for you to do. Catch up on your favorite shows. Take that nap. Or get that project done you’ve been putting off. I plan on remodeling our backyard. I might even add a couple of chickens. Better yet, I’ll just go to the library. The Raleigh Library in, of course, Raleigh has an attached walking track. The outside area also has a huge, shaded seating area. 

• Ice cream is still magical.

No matter how old they get, my kids will always cheer when I say Sugar Ghost Ice Cream and Bubble Tea. Located on Broad, they have the only ice cream I eat religiously. And naturally, my kids love it, too. Ice cream has a way of melting the hard edges off teenagers. It’s really just magical how a sweetened dairy product can bring their inner child out. 

Spring break with tweens/teens is all about balance — just enough plans to keep them entertained, plenty of food to keep them happy, and the freedom to sleep and do their thing. Whether we’re mini-golfing, eating at Jay’s, or simply enjoying some well-earned quiet at Hopson’s, the key is embracing the frenzy and the calm. And while they’re living their best lives, I’ll be sipping lattes, playing my Switch, and maybe even getting those backyard chickens. 

Patricia Lockhart is a native Memphian who loves to read, write, cook, and eat. By day, she’s an assistant principal and writer, but by night … she’s asleep.

Categories
Opinion The Last Word

Memphis Is My Boyfriend: A Teen’s Take on Dating

Sometimes all teens want is for someone to listen. (Photo: Courtesy Patricia Lockhart)

I’m a mom of four teenagers. An 11-year-old girl, twin 13-year-old boys, and a 16-year-old boy. And that 16-year-old is … DATING! This is a scary moment for me. Mostly because I know what “dating” looked like for me at 16. (We read and we don’t judge.) Nevertheless, I thought that this would be a great opportunity to hear about dating and Valentine’s Day from the perspective of a teenager. And now, here’s what my son has to say!

For teenagers, Valentine’s Day is a chance to celebrate your relationship, no matter how long you’ve been dating. As you have probably seen from most teenage rom-coms or from social media drama, Valentine’s Day can also be messy. 

In high school, there are tons of unique relationships and several types of couples. Some teens have been dating for only a few weeks, while others are approaching year three! There are some teenagers who struggle to start relationships because of their sexuality. Others struggle to keep relationships just because their partner loses interest and leaves them on “read.” Or some parents prohibit their teens from dating at all. Even if a couple may seem like they are going strong, it can come falling down.

Either way, dating and Valentine’s Day is a pivotal point for teens. Wherever they may be in their dating scene, here are a couple of things to keep in mind as a parent:

• Support your teen: You may not like who they’re dating, but support your teen and make sure they are doing well in their relationship. 

• Don’t embarrass your teen: It can be easy to bring up their flaws or messy habits, but it doesn’t feel good when you are getting embarrassed in front of your girlfriend or boyfriend.

• Offer advice, but don’t lecture: Talking down to someone and talking to them are two different things. You want to make sure that you are talking to teens about their relationship. Be wary of lecturing without giving them an opportunity to be active in the conversation. 

• Listen: Sometimes all teens want is for someone to listen. They may not even want advice, just someone to listen to their situation and understand them.

Luckily, I am in a healthy relationship. We have known each other for years and started dating only five months ago. My partner has to be one of the most enthusiastic and energetic people I have ever met. Whether it comes to the situationships in season seven of The Rookie or her cases at youth court, she always brings her energy to the table (unless she is hangry). Also, seeing her smile just brightens my day. I’ll never forget that. But here are a couple of points that I have learned from other successes and failures that I use to guide my relationship. Teenagers, take a pic of this:

• Communicate your boundaries: Make sure that you both are looking for the same or similar things in a relationship. Let them know up front what’s a “no-go.”

• Respect each other: Everyone deserves respect. In person and online!

• Consent, consent, consent: Ask permission for everything, even hugging and kissing.

• Don’t lie to your parents. Just be open and up front. They’re going to find out anyway. 

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, here are my plans for my very first Valentine’s Day.

I plan on taking my partner to Ciao Bella Italian Restaurant. Both of us are huge fans of Italian cuisine. With us being teens, we must factor in our parents. We aren’t fully independent, and we can’t just go sneaking out the window to a dinner date. So of course our parents will be there, but hopefully at a different table.

During dinner, I’ll present her with gifts. I know her pretty well. But I cannot afford front row seats to the next WWE Smackdown. And after the holiday season, my accounts aren’t overflowing. But fortunately, I love to make homemade/crafty gifts. I’ll be making an assortment of cards and flowers with a custom blanket that has her favorite celebrities on it (Eric Winter, Melissa O’Neil). In addition to that, I will be making a spray-painted sweatshirt with designs from Michael Jackson and Roman Reigns, a couple more of her favorite celebrities. 

Valentine’s Day as a teenager is a mix of excitement, nerves, and learning experiences. Whether it’s a first date, a longtime relationship, or just navigating the highs and lows of young love, it’s a time of growth. Remember, as parents, it isn’t your role to control the journey but to support, guide, and — most importantly — listen. 

Patricia Lockhart is a native Memphian who loves to read, write, cook, and eat. By day, she’s an assistant principal and writer, but by night … she’s asleep. Her son Aiden Lockhart is dating now!

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Opinion The Last Word

Memphis Is My Boyfriend: Yes Day

On Yes Day, anything goes, from eating out to shopping. Try picking physical, creative, and social hobbies instead of making resolutions. (Photos: Patricia Lockhart)

I have four tweens/teens: a 16-year-old boy, twin 13-year-old boys, and an 11-year-old girl. Teens can ask for some of the most random things. Another laptop, shopping sprees, beauty products, and a whole host of material things. And throughout the year, I find myself saying, “No,” “What do you think your allowance is for?”, “Absolutely not!”, and “That seems like something you need to ask your uncles to buy you” to several of their requests. Honestly, I feel like if I give them a decent allowance and provide all of their needs, they can at least spend their own money on any gadget, game, or beauty product they want. My purse is shallow and the strings are tight.

Except for one day a year. The last day of the year to be exact. New Year’s Eve.

On New Year’s Eve, my husband and I give the kids a “Yes Day.” It’s simple: Whatever the kids ask for, we simply say, “Yes.” We only ask questions for clarification, and we don’t deflect or say no.

Here’s a list of things and experiences our tweens/teens asked for:

“Can we eat breakfast at IHOP?”

“Can we go to Jumping World?”

“Can we eat pizza for lunch?”

“Can we get a hotel?”

“Can we go to the Amuse Adventure Museum?”

“Can we shop at Best Buy?”

“Can we go to Target?”

“Can we go to Hobby Lobby?”

And of course we said “Yes” to every single request!

The kids had a blast! We ate breakfast and picked up a few crafting materials from Hobby Lobby. Then we did a little window shopping at Best Buy and Target. Next, we went to Jumping World. By the time we checked into the hotel, I was already exhausted. We ate an early dinner at Rock’n Dough Pizza and had the most amazing server. Next, we went to the Amuse Adventure Museum and had a blast. Fun fun fun! Lastly, we did a grocery store run for snacks before heading back to the hotel. I passed out. The kids and Hubby played video games. I woke up and played games as well, then I went back to sleep. Finally, the New Year came and concluded our Yes Day.

If you’re wondering about the financial cost of a Yes Day, I’ll be very transparent with you. Our Yes Day cost $537 for this family of six. The most expensive tickets were the Amuse Adventure Museum and Rock’n Dough Pizza, both over $100. If you would like to do a Yes Day for your kids but you’re concerned with getting a lot of materialistic requests, then set some parameters. Explain to your teens that their request must create an experience and be centered around engaging with the family.

While Yes Day is very fun, we did make time for something very serious. Now, we don’t do New Year’s resolutions. Tweens and teenagers are still developing a sense of self. New Year’s resolutions can unintentionally bring about stress from trying to be this perfect image of themselves that they’ve placed in their mind. And as an ever-evolving teenager, perfection is impossible.

So instead of focusing on achievements, we focus on exploration. Everyone chooses three hobbies they want to nurture for 2025. While the hobbies can be brand-new or something you’re still learning, there is a short guide. You must have a physical hobby, something that gets you moving. You must also have a creative hobby, to explore new ways to express yourself. Lastly, you must have a social hobby, something that brings you together with other people. Here are our 2025 hobbies (physical, creative, social):

Anthony/Dad: running, learning to play the piano, and running with a club

Patricia/Mom: yoga, sewing, painting, and learning Spanish

Aiden (16): jogging, playing the piano and reading sheet music, and hosting events at home

Elliott (13): stretching, creating new video games, and TBD*

Elijah (13): biking, creating a YouTube channel, and creating a video gaming club

Eve (11): ballet and dance, and sewing with a club

*It’s okay that he doesn’t know how he wants to engage with others. He has a low social battery threshold. 

For the rest of the year, I will scour the Memphis Flyer for events and activities that pour into my kids’ hobbies. If you hear of any, please feel free to share it with me via Instagram @memphisismyboyfriend. 

Patricia Lockhart is a native Memphian who loves to read, write, cook, and eat. By day, she’s an assistant principal and writer, but by night … she’s asleep. 

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Opinion The Last Word

Memphis Is My Boyfriend: Life Skills 

Getting away from it all and fixing what you’ve broken (Photos: Patricia Lockhart)

I’ve heard that a parent’s goal is to raise their kids to be independent and not reliant upon them. While I wholeheartedly believe this, sometimes I wonder if any of my life lessons are sinking in. My kids are 11, 12, 12, and 16, and sometimes I have to remind them of bare care necessities. But if I had to teach them three life lessons, they would be: know when to step away, how to have your own relationship with God, and how to fix things. 

Life Balance

My kids work really hard in school. Some of them work hard on their academics, while others work hard on their social skills. In between PSATs, constructing cell cities, reading How to Kill a Mockingbird, and illustrating the water cycle, I noticed that the kids got … quiet. They came home and immediately withdrew and went to their own spaces. When I tried to engage them in conversation, I was met with short, one-word replies. Then it dawned on me. I haven’t really emphasized the importance of stepping away before everything becomes too much. So I decided to tap into their inner child. Children love two things: parks and snacks. In the middle of the week, I left work early to pick the kids up from school and bypassed all the aftercares. All of the kids were excited, with the exception of my high-schooler — I intruded on his hangout-time with his girlfriend. Nevertheless, we loaded the car and picked up a few sweet treats. Our first stop was Sugar Ghost Ice Cream and Bubble Tea. The kids got ice cream, but I had my eyes on another treat. Second stop, Muddy’s Bake Shop! I initially went in for a Rice Krispies treat (best in the city), but I couldn’t turn down a gingerbread man or two. We bagged our treats and headed to Overton Park, where we laid out our picnic blankets and … breathed. The kids ate and began to chat. I took this time to explain the importance of “stepping away.” And here’s the advice they would like to share when life gets tough:

• Play videos: It’s nice to play games. You get to be in control of everything.

• Make videos: It’s just fun. 

• Go outside: Nature sounds good and the breeze is nice.

• Get your emotions out: Even if it’s loud.

Life Church: Axis

I first became interested in Life Church because I was looking for a group of women I could speak with about life and the Bible. During my research, I learned about Axis. Axis is a tweens/teens ministry, but I wasn’t unsure about the logistics. After visiting one Sunday, I got a text from a “Maybe: Josh.” That’s literally what it said on my caller ID. He stated that Axis is a time for just teens. And I replied, “So I can send the kids to Axis and enjoy a date night?” “Maybe: Josh” said, “Absolutely! I encourage it!” 

So we packed up the Lockhart tweens and teen and headed to Axis. Upon arriving, I noticed they had a variety of dads on the grill, groups of teens hanging out, and some playing catch with Pastor Josh. The atmosphere seemed relaxed. As we walked up, we were approached by Pastor Josh. He said, “Hey! You’re who I’ve been texting with!” Ahhhhh, okay, so it wasn’t a bot. 

Pastor Josh gave the kids a quick introduction which consisted of: We have snacks, video games, and …well, actually that’s as far as he got before the kids said “cool” and walked into the building. 

After picking up the kids two hours later, their eyes were wide! They enjoyed themselves, but it was a little shocking for them too. “That’s not like any church I’ve been to!” “Yeah. I’ve never been to a concert before, but I’m sure that should count as my first one!” Once we were home, the Lockhart teen and tweens talked amongst themselves. They decided to go back, but with one addendum: Although the Axis service doesn’t start until 7 p.m., they need to arrive at 6 p.m., for playing purposes. 

And just like that, Axis became a vital space for my kids to be themselves, deepen their faith, and build friendships. They made friends, developed their own style of worship, and found a place they can serve and be leaders. 

Life Skills

The last life skill is the ability to fix what you’ve broken. My daughter is a little bit of a mad scientist. She loves mixing things. There’s still a white stain on her wall that feels oddly soft, and her carpet is permanently ruined. That’s why we told her all science stuff, including the making of slime, must be completed in the dining room. We did not anticipate the damage this would have on our dining room table. My hubby thought that this would be a great learning opportunity. He and our daughter went to Home Depot and bought supplies to refurbish the dining room table. And now she knows how to use a sander and restain wood! 

Patricia Lockhart is a native Memphian who loves to read, write, cook, and eat. By day, she’s an assistant principal and writer, but by night … she’s asleep. @memphisismyboyfriend

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Opinion The Last Word

Memphis Is My Boyfriend: Enjoying the Mortgage

Sharing the cooking, sharing the shopping (Photo: Patricia Lockhart)

We are a family that absolutely loves Memphis! But sometimes, it’s best to enjoy our mortgage. I know that might sound a bit unusual, but it’s really quite straightforward. “Enjoying your mortgage” is just a Gen Alpha way of saying “appreciate your space” and embrace the joys of home.

This particular weekend, I woke up early, lit some soothing incense, opened the blinds, and poured myself a steaming cup of black coffee with a touch of honey. I cherished the peaceful moments before the kids woke up and my husband returned from his 16-mile run. But with kids aged 11, 12, 12, and 16, that quiet wouldn’t last long!

Photo: Patricia Lockhart

Laundry Day

Like most families, Saturdays are often reserved for chores (thankfully, now without the scent of bleach and old-school music blaring from ancient speakers). Each tween and teenager is responsible for tidying their own space, catching up on chores, and tackling laundry. And oh, laundry— what a beast it can be! Our kids have been doing their own laundry for the past three years, but we’re still very much in the learning phase. 

As adults, we might think laundry is simple, but just ask a tween or teenager, and you’ll hear a different story. “How many clothes make a full load?” “Do I really have to separate my whites from my colors?” “What temperature should the water be?” “Do detergent sheets work better than liquid?”

Honestly, those questions are valid! I stick to the basics: fill the machine two-thirds full and don’t forget the detergent. While washing and drying are straightforward, the real challenge is folding and hanging everything up. My husband enjoys putting on a good show and folding clothes until his heart’s content. Me? I’m more of a laundry mole, diving into the basket each morning to iron what’s needed. But with my husband’s high standards, the kids and I engage in a productive struggle every Saturday.

Grocery Shopping

Once the laundry is in a steady rhythm — wash, dry, fold/hang, and repeat six times — it’s time to tackle grocery shopping. In our family of six, everyone gets a night to cook dinner each week. On Fridays, we either cook together or indulge in oven pizza. To kick things off, we project our computer screen onto the TV so everyone can see the plan. With a grocery budget of $200 a week, we aim to make the most of it, enjoying a little bit of everything. We start by sharing our dinner ideas, keeping everyone’s preferences in mind. My 16-year-old has been a vegetarian since he was 6, while the younger twin prefers meat in every meal. Our 11-year-old isn’t fond of cheesy dishes, and I’m lactose intolerant. Thankfully, my husband and the oldest twin are pretty flexible with their choices. Next, we take turns adding ingredients to the Kroger Pickup list, ensuring we check what we already have on hand. At least once a month, we do a grocery inventory, which usually uncovers forgotten treasures like dried beans and random cans of tomato sauce. After finalizing our dinner items, we move on to breakfast and then lunch. If there’s any budget left, we treat ourselves to snacks, though that’s usually a rare delight!

Chilling Together

As adults, it’s easy for weekends to morph into extended workdays filled with tasks we didn’t have time for during our regular work hours. I want to teach my kids the importance of finding a healthy balance — not just by telling them, but by showing them. Chores can demonstrate appreciation for our space and future selves, but they aren’t the only way we enjoy our mortgage. Here are some fun activities we love to do together while “enjoying our mortgage”:

• Napping

• Playing video games

• Watching TV

• Baking delicious treats

• Playing library with my books (just me)

• Gardening and reviving my plants

• Building forts in the living room

• Movie marathon nights

• Doing absolutely nothing together

One twin typically engages in a social-battery recharge. Being at school all week takes a lot out of him, so he’ll often keep to himself most of the weekend. My daughter, on the other hand, is a social butterfly. She wants someone to enjoy all of her “chilling activities” with. My oldest bounces between baking and getting ahead of his studies. The other twin plays hard all day. As for me, I sit quietly with one child, do an activity with another, bounce ideas with the eldest, and play with the other twin. Sometimes I do none of the above and don’t feel guilty about it.

So enjoy your mortgage or rent, Memphis! Seek out activities with your tweens and teens that bring you closer together, foster relaxation, and spark creativity. Or recharge your own battery. 

Patricia Lockhart is a native Memphian who loves to read, write, cook, and eat. By day, she’s an assistant principal and writer, but by night … she’s asleep. @memphisismyboyfriend

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Opinion The Last Word

Memphis Is My Boyfriend: Back to School

An Arabic breakfast with red tea (Photos: Patricia Lockhart)

Moment of honesty: These first few weeks of school have thoroughly and unapologetically kicked our butts. 

The kids are 16, 12, 12, and 10. The adults are 40 and 39. Waking up at 5:30 a.m. to stretch, because the body I went to bed with isn’t the same body I wake up with, is meh. Trying to help the kids remember which days are “even days” and which are “odd days” according to their respective school calendars is confusing. At this point, may the odds ever be in their favor. Hubby is getting tired of restating the importance of completing one’s homework before pickup. And Life360 tells us every time y’all make a detour to McDonald’s. So after a successful professional development, the turning in of late assignments, permission to proceed with their STAR Tutoring program, and the start of ballet season, we decided we needed a break!

Cellar Tabletop Games & Comics

I’m a big proponent of literacy. Kids need to know how to read and comprehend what they’ve read. And I’m a firm believer that reading shouldn’t only take place at school or be a form of punishment. That’s why, when the kids needed a break from school but not from reading, we headed to our local comic book store. Comics are great for increasing vocabulary in kids and adults. Plus, they’re really, really interesting!

We went to the Cellar Tabletop Games & Comics. As it was a Saturday, the place was packed! There were Pokemon games going on, as well as Dungeons & Dragons. My kids went straight for the Marvel comics, while a DC comic, Nightwing: The Secret Origin of Bea Bennett, caught my attention. My husband gushed over the Superman comics and tried earnestly to get the kids’ attention. They were almost about to fall for the bait until they found an Animal Crossing comic. They couldn’t resist a comic with their favorite video game characters. The kids also scored some Scott Pilgrim comics. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what your teen or tween is reading, as long as they’re reading. Comic books? Great! Lego instructions? Wonderful! Reading the back of a cereal box? Cool! Reading the cheat codes to your favorite video game? Even better! Reading the Memphis Flyer to find events to add to the family calendar? Get to it!

Picking out reading material

Aldar Cafe

I remember when I was in 10th grade, someone told me, “Prior proper planning prevents a poor performance.” So in order to have a good week, I like to take time to plan out things that need to be done and add items I’d like to remember to my calendar. This has worked really well for me. So I’ve decided to get the kids used to this same habit. So we went to Aldar Cafe on Summer to plan out our week and read. I ordered the sensible Arabic breakfast with red tea since it was 9 in the morning. Hubby had a latte and pieces of my breakfast platter. The kids, on the other hand, ordered a vanilla milkshake, a strawberry milkshake, a cream cheese croissant, and a slice of cheesecake. 

We organized our calendars, adding after-school meetings and activities, Mario Kart tournaments, sewing clubs, and important assignment due dates. The kids also got into good games of Uno and Jenga. All of our shoulders relaxed and we smiled. Now as soon as we got home, pajamas were in full effect.

And yes, we’re still buying school supplies! A moment of transparency: We did not purchase everything on the kids’ school supply list. We pulled mostly from our supply stash and reused old binders. We made sure they had pencils and paper, but our wallets truly dictated when and what supplies we bought prior to school starting. But those aren’t what we’re still shucking out money for. We are now in the band dues phase. We are parting with our dinero for leotards and jazz shoes for dance class. We’re saying au revoir to our wallets for STEM supplies. And the 16-year-old’s college art class necessities are costing a crisp Benjamin! Luckily, his professor created an Amazon cart of all the supplies needed, and his art teacher vetted the list and told us local places to find the items even cheaper. (Now Mr. Benjamin Franklin doesn’t need more friends.)

And we will continue to ensure they have whatever they need to be successful in school. They might not get it when they want it, but they’ll definitely have the supplies when they need them.

Meanwhile, don’t forget to take your own break from back-to-school busy-ness! 

Patricia Lockhart is a native Memphian who loves to read, write, cook, and eat. By day, she’s an assistant principal and writer, but by night … she’s asleep. @memphisismyboyfriend

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Opinion The Last Word

Memphis Is My Boyfriend: End of Summer Blues

Wonky’s features creative items on their dessert platters. (Photo: Patricia Lockhart)

Summer break is over, and no one is particularly happy about it. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have time to still do something meaningful with your tweens and teens before homework starts rolling in.

Wonky’s Not So Famous Treats

We decided to surprise our kids with a “candy tasting.” Imagine if you went to Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. You’d probably see treats of all shapes and sizes. Displays where everything is edible. Color-changing drinks. Chocolate in the form of solids, liquids, and everything in between. You might even battle some evil sea creature that’s made entirely from candy.

Actually, I’m describing our experience at Wonky’s Not So Famous Treats! This was the most amazing experience with the coolest aesthetics. We all enjoyed the ocean decor and the jellyfish hanging from the ceiling. The kids enjoyed discovering all the edible items on the dessert platter. Those sweet and creative treats were mind-blowing. The kids sampled the tentacle twizzlers, chocolate rocks, gushy eyeballs, delicious cheesecake, and so much more. And Wonky’s offered a variety of flavors and textures: chewy, crunchy, chocolaty, fruity, sour, creamy, cold, gummy, and tarty. Oh, and the adult drinks were on point.

Final Summer Curriculum Update

Our kids finally rode the MATA bus, and the experience did not disappoint! We started off by giving them a bus schedule and explaining to them that they were to ride the bus from our community to Downtown. Together, they researched what the Downtown terminal looks like so they would know it when they got off. They also familiarized themselves with the names of major streets they would encounter. We gave each child a dollar for the bus fare and dropped them off. 

Midway through their bus ride, we texted the kids and asked them how it was going. When they replied that they were bored, hubby and I decided to offer extra credit: “Great!!! Here’s your mandatory extra credit. After exiting the bus, you must get on the trolley and use ‘Find My’ to locate us. We will be on South Main.”

The kids loved the challenge, but it soon appeared that they were in over their heads. Ten minutes later, the kids called us. “Mom,” they said, “we got off too early. We don’t know exactly where we are.” I took a deep breath and replied, “You have all the technology you need at your fingertips. Figure out where you are and the distance to where you should be.” (Don’t worry, I knew exactly where they were.) Within minutes, they called back and said that they were a block from the terminal and were headed for the trolley. They used “Find My” to locate us and rode the trolley to our exact location.

Here are the kids’ experiences in their own words:

16-year-old: I liked when the bus took off, but soon it was meh.

12-year-old: It was fun at first, but the smell was odd. 

12-year-old: When you first get on, it’s fun! But when strangers started coming on and talking weirdly, it got awkward. 

10-year-old: The ride was really bumpy and a little scary for me!

School-Year Prep

You might not be ready for school, but school is ready for you! Here are a few tips:

• If you have a teenaged daughter, make sure she keeps a “period pack” at school. This should consist of a few pads and wipes as well as a clean pair of underwear and school appropriate pants. (Because accidents do happen.)

• Assign each teenager a laundry day. On that day, their laundry must be washed, dried, folded, or hung up.

• Remind the kids of the difference between the school’s grading scale and your grading scale. (A 70 is still a D to me.)

• Create a school supply stash. Yes, you’re going to spend hundreds of dollars on school supplies. And yes, by October your child is still going to need something. 

• Keep at least $40 in ones at home. Nothing is worse than finding out at the last minute that you need $13 for a field trip. (Schools are not at liberty to give change for $20 and there’s too much to do in the morning to stop for cash.)

• Backpacks must be packed the night before.

Tips from teenagers to teenagers

• Complete your assignments as soon as you get them. 

• Use your time after school wisely.

• A friend who is mean to other people is not your friend.

• Get your clothes ready the night before.

• Charge your school device.

• Don’t skip first or second breakfast.

• Always carry deodorant. Always.

• Never tell anyone your locker combination.

• Structure is your friend.

Also … my eldest got a 28 on the ACT! #proudparent. 

Patricia Lockhart is a native Memphian who loves to read, write, cook, and eat. @realworkwife @memphisismyboyfriend

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Opinion The Last Word

Memphis Is My Boyfriend: Fun, but Not in the Sun

Enjoying the lazy river at the Kroc Center (Photo: Patricia Lockhart)

With this heat wave, we’ve had to find ways to enjoy our summer, but stay cool at the same time. While my kids, now 16, 12, 12, and 10, would be content lying around the house in their pajamas, I just want them to do … something else. Now don’t get me wrong, I love to play video games as well (my current favorite is My Time at Sandrock), but that can’t be all that they do. This city is too vibrant and their brains are too bright to be only used for video games. 

Memphis Brooks Museum of Art

If you haven’t been to the Brooks Museum’s latest exhibit, “People are People” by Christian Siriano, I don’t know what you’re waiting for. This exhibit displays some of Siriano’s contributions to fashion. My daughter’s mouth dropped in awe. (Best mom-feeling ever!) She guided us around the exhibit, reading the captions while exclaiming her opinion of each dress. We saw dresses worn by Michelle Obama, Ashley Graham, and Ariana Grande. The gowns are exquisite and absolutely amazing. My daughter gained a lot of inspiration and drive from this exhibit. She talked endlessly about the alterations she was going to make to some of her clothes and how she finally knows how she is going to finish the shirt she’s been sewing. But the best part was when my boys got excited. The Brooks Museum had a runway set up with clothes on a rack that they could piece together to make a fashion statement. Were they excited to play dress-up? No. But were they excited to play dress-up with their little sister? Yes! We all ran to the rack, donned the coolest attire, and walked the runway. We had the best time! Next, my hubby and daughter used fabric to dress a mannequin while the boys sketched clothes. 

The Brooks Museum is free Saturdays from 10 a.m. to noon. “People are People” by Christian Siriano will be around until August 4th. 

Contributions to fashion (Photo: Patricia Lockhart)

Kroc Center

We have been members of the Kroc Center for a few years now, and the Kroc has this long hallway that displays the artwork of local artists. As we walked by, the eldest twin slowed his pace. He looked at the artwork, nodded, then moved along. He called our attention to several different pieces, noting content and technique. And then his world changed. Written in the bottom right-hand corner, on a small rectangular piece of paper, was the price the artwork was selling for. It then seemed like several dots connected together in his brain. “This piece sells for $65! That’s more than my allowance!” I just smiled and said, “Yes, it is.” My husband and I have always told him that he could sell his artwork to earn money. Ever since he was 5 and he stated that he wanted to be a “starving artist” when he grew up, we explained to him that he could be an artist without the starving part. But sometimes a parent’s words don’t resonate with their kids until an appropriate moment. Seeing artwork comparable to his own ability for sale ignited something in him. (Insert proud mommy moment.)

My kids also love to swim at the Kroc. They have a wonderful lazy river. (Yep, you read that right!) My kids are perfectly content going around and around and around, relaxing with each churn of the artificial currents.

Summer Curriculum Update

Here’s a brief update on how the summer curriculum is going. The MATA bus ride is scheduled for July. As you’ve probably guessed, they aren’t excited. While they have mastered how to operate Google Calendar and have put several things on the family calendar, they have failed to learn the lyrics to any Aretha Franklin song or “Colors of the Wind” from Pocahontas with accuracy. I honestly didn’t think it would be hard, but they are seriously struggling.

The grocery shopping and meal prep had an unexpected outcome. Yes, the kids created grocery lists and cooked meals. But we’ve also had to put a cap on “when” meals could be made. The kids were cooking the typical breakfast, lunches, and dinners, but also added “pre-lunch” and a “post-dinner” meals. I know what you’re thinking, isn’t “post-dinner” just dessert? No, not for them, “post-dinner” is the meal you eat after dessert. Usually served after you have stayed up too late and gotten hungry again. Therefore, the kitchen now closes at 10 p.m. (Those P-EBT cards need to hurry up and arrive!)

They’re finishing up their autobiography/biography and school-assigned summer reading books, too. As you probably guessed, they decided to pace their time with books by only reading a chapter a day. I had to gently remind them that at this pace, they wouldn’t finish their books in time for school. And as you know, the summer reading books include a mini-project.

So far they’ve created and gained inspiration, added movement, and nurtured their brains. I think this deserves a video game binge day, but no “post-dinners.” 

Patricia Lockhart is a native Memphian who loves to read, write, cook, and eat. By day, she’s a school librarian and writer, but by night … she’s asleep. @realworkwife @memphisismyboyfriend

Categories
Opinion The Last Word

Memphis Is My Boyfriend: Summer Learning

This family’s got some summer learning ahead. (Photo: Courtesy Patricia Lockhart)

It’s officially summer! My kids are completely elated, and to be honest, so am I. But as an educator, I’m always asked, “What are your kids doing during the summer?” Well, the short answer is they are still learning. While their traditional school may be out, summer learning in my household is in full effect. My kids are 10, twin 12-year-olds, and a 15-year-old (OMG, he’ll start driving this summer!).

Here’s what this curriculum looks like:

• Learn how to read the MATA bus schedule and ride the bus across town. I know that Uber is a thing, but I still believe in public transportation. I feel that people should know how to travel in their city in all formats.

• Put together a shelf. Following directions is a learned skill. And following printed instructions is even more difficult. So each of my kids will be required to purchase a shelf (using their allowance) and put it together by themselves.

• Read an autobiography. You don’t have to experience life’s hard lessons in order to learn from them. One can gain a lot of insight about life from reading about someone else’s experience.

• Paint a wall. Okay, I’m sure there’s some educational aspect to painting a wall, but honestly I just want a few accent walls in the house and the kids have nothing but time.

• Learn the lyrics to important Disney songs. So far, they have failed their “A Whole New World” from Aladdin. Up next is “Colors of the Wind” from Pocahontas. My kids have near zero music knowledge, unless it comes from video games. And I refuse to have them embarrassing the family name because they don’t know a single song from The Lion King. So, may the odds be ever in their favor.

• Learn how to bake the perfect cookie. This task shouldn’t be too hard since I’ve given them the recipe to the perfect cookie dough base. Especially since the end product is so delicious, they should be extra motivated to get it right. The secret is in the temperature.

• Learn how to make strawberry jam. In order to do this, they need to first pick some fresh strawberries from Jones Orchard. Then follow a simple recipe and voilà! I can’t wait to see if the kids get the consistency right and are able to explain why. Science!

• Grocery shop and prepare meals. During the school year, I did the grocery shopping. As a family, we each took turns to prepare dinners. My husband, my oldest son, and I each had our own day. The twins and the youngest daughter shared a day. But now, they must learn and strengthen their tech muscles and stretch their cooking skills. Each kid is responsible for going on kroger.com and putting their needed items for breakfast, lunch, and dinner into the shopping cart for review. They must also notify me of the lunch and the dinner they will be preparing the following week.

• Learn how to operate Google Calendar. With four kids, each wants to hang out with their friends and go to different events. It can become overwhelming trying to remember everything for everyone. So if they want to engage in anything outside of the four walls of our house, they must send us a Google Calendar invite.

• Learn how to navigate public spaces. I think this may be the only part of summer learning they are looking forward to. One day a week, they get to decide where they would like to hang out. In navigating public spaces, they need to practice respect of the place and the people, noise level control, and basic street-smarts. They’re already excited about practicing this at the MoSH, Crosstown Concourse, Memphis Chess Club, and the library.

• Learn how to play spades. (This is a prerequisite to gaining their Black Card.)

• Learn about music greats such as Aretha Franklin, Whitney Houston, Ray Charles, Prince, Miles Davis, and Sam Cooke to name a few. They will be given a playlist that they are more than welcomed to listen to as they clean their rooms.

Through this summer learning curriculum, the kids utilize their reading, math, science, and social studies skills. They are learning things that they wouldn’t necessarily get in an ordinary classroom. I have always believed that I am my child’s first teacher, and there’s no way that our school systems can teach our children everything. One thing that I have learned in my years as an educator is that children will learn! They are going to learn something, from someone or from somewhere. It’s up to us as parents to ensure their learning is rounded and balanced.

Patricia Lockhart is a native Memphian who loves to read, write, cook, and eat. Her days are filled with laughter with her four kids and charming husband. By day, she’s a school librarian and writer, but by night … she’s asleep. @realworkwife @memphisismyboyfriend