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Astrology Fun Stuff

Free Will Astrology: Week of 04/04/24

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Aries author Eric G. Wilson claims, “Darker emotional states — doubt, confusion, alienation, despair — inspire a deeper and more durable experience of the sacred than contentment does.” I disagree. I know for a fact that an exquisite embrace of life’s holiness is equally possible through luminous joy and boisterous triumph and exultant breakthroughs. Propagandists of the supposed potency of misery are stuck in a habit of mind that’s endemic to the part of civilization that’s rotting and dying. In any case, Aries, I’m pleased to tell you that in the coming weeks, you will have abundant opportunities to glide into sacred awareness on the strength of your lust for life and joie de vivre.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Will humans succeed in halting the decimation of the environment? Will we neutralize the power of fundamentalism as it fights to quash our imaginations and limit our freedoms? Will we outflank and outlast the authoritarians that threaten democracy? Sorry I’m asking you to think about sad realities. But now is an excellent time for you to ponder the world we are creating for our descendants — and resolve to do something in loving service to the future. Meditate on the riddle from Lewis Carroll’s book Through the Looking Glass: “It’s a poor sort of memory that only works backwards.”

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The genius polymath Galileo Galilei (1564–1642) contributed much treasure to science and engineering. One encyclopedia sums up his legacy: “He was the father of observational astronomy, modern-era classical physics, the scientific method, and modern science.” Unfortunately, many of Galileo’s ideas conflicted with the teachings of Catholicism. The church fathers hounded him for years, even arresting him and putting him on trial. The Vatican eventually apologized, though not until 350 years after Galileo died. I expect that you, too, will generate many new approaches and possibilities in the coming months, Gemini — not Galileo level, of course, but still: sufficiently unprecedented to rouse the resistance of conventional wisdom. I suspect you won’t have to wait long to be vindicated, however.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Now would be a perfect time to prove your love. How? You might begin by being extra considerate, sensitive, sweet, and tender. I hope you will add sublime, scintillating touches, too. Maybe you will tell your beloved allies beautiful truths about themselves — revelations that make them feel deeply understood and appreciated. Maybe you will give them gifts or blessings they have wanted for a long time but never managed to get for themselves. It’s possible you will serenade them with their favorite songs, or write a poem or story about them, or buy them a symbol that inspires their spiritual quest. To climax all your kindness, perhaps you will describe the ways they have changed your life for the better.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Leo naturalist and ornithologist William Henry Hudson (1841–1922) said, “I am not a lover of lawns. Rather would I see daisies in their thousands, ground ivy, hawkweed, and dandelions with splendid flowers and fairy down, than the too-well-tended lawn.” I encourage you to adopt his attitude toward everything in your life for the next few weeks. Always opt for unruly beauty over tidy regimentation. Choose lush vitality over pruned efficiency. Blend your fate with influences that exult in creative expressiveness, genial fertility, and deep feelings. (PS: Cultural critic Michael Pollan says, “A lawn is nature under totalitarian rule.”)

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I praise and celebrate you for your skills at helping other people access their resources and activate their potentials. I hope you are rewarded well for your gorgeous service. If you are not, please figure out how to correct the problem in the coming months. If you are feeling extra bold, consider these two additional assignments: 1. Upgrade your skills at helping yourself access your own resources and activate your own potential. 2. Be forthright and straightforward in asking the people you help to help you.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): I don’t regard a solar eclipse as a bad omen. On the contrary, I believe it may purge and cleanse stale old karma. On some occasions, I have seen it flush away emotional debts and debris that have been accumulating for years. So how shall we interpret the total solar eclipse that will electrify your astrological house of intimate togetherness in the coming days? I think it’s a favorable time to be brave and daring as you upgrade your best relationships. What habits and patterns are you ready to reinvent and reconfigure? What new approaches are you willing to experiment with?

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): At your best, you Scorpios are not invasive manipulators. Rather, you are catalysts. You are instigators of transformation, resurrectors of dead energy, awakeners of numb minds. The people you influence may not be aware that they long to draw on your influence. They may think you are somehow imposing it on them, when, in fact, you are simply being your genuine, intense self, and they are reaching out to absorb your unruly healing. In the coming weeks, please keep in mind what I’ve said here.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): In my astrological opinion, it’s prime time for you to shower big wild favors on your beautiful self. Get the fun underway with a period of rigorous self-care: a physical check-up, perhaps, and visits with the dentist, therapist, hairstylist, and acupuncturist. Try new healing agents and seek precise magic that enhances and uplifts your energy. I trust you will also call on luxurious indulgences like a massage, a psychic reading, gourmet meals, an emotionally potent movie, exciting new music, and long, slow love-making. Anything else, Sagittarius? Make a list and carry out these tasks with the same verve and determination you would give to any important task.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The coming days will be a favorable time for you to wrestle with an angel or play chess with a devil. You will have extraordinary power in any showdown or collaboration with spiritual forces. Your practical intelligence will serve you well in encounters with nonrational enigmas and supernatural riddles. Here’s a hot tip: Never assume that any being, human or divine, is holier or wiser than you. You will have a special knack for finding compassionate solutions to address even the knottiest dilemmas.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Your featured organ of the month is your nose. This may sound beyond the scope of predictable possibilities, but I’m serious: You will make robust decisions and discriminating choices if you get your sniffer fully involved. So I advise you to favor and explore whatever smells good. Cultivate a nuanced appreciation for what aromas can reveal. If there’s a hint of a stink or an odd tang, go elsewhere. The saying “follow your nose” is especially applicable. (PS: I recommend you take steps to expose yourself to a wide array of scents that energize you and boost your mood.)

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): When is the best time to ask for a raise or an increase in benefits? Can astrology reveal favorable periods for being aggressive about getting more of what you want? In the system I use, the time that’s 30 to 60 days after your birthday is most likely to generate good results. Another phase is 210 to 240 days after your birthday. Keep in mind that these estimates may be partly fanciful and playful and mythical. But then in my philosophy, fanciful and playful and mythical actions have an honored place. Self-fulfilling prophecies are more likely to be fulfilled if you regard them as fun experiments rather than serious, literal rules. 

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Astrology Fun Stuff

Free Will Astrology: Week of 03/28/24

ARIES (March 21-April 19): In the coming days, your hunger will be so inexhaustible that you may feel driven to devour extravagant amounts of food and drink. It’s possible you will gain 10 pounds in a very short time. Who knows? You might even enter an extreme eating contest and devour 46 dozen oysters in 10 minutes! APRIL FOOL! Although what I just said is remotely plausible, I foresee that you will sublimate your exorbitant hunger. You will realize it is spiritual in nature and can’t be gratified by eating food. As you explore your voracious longings, you will hopefully discover a half-hidden psychological need you have been suppressing. And then you will liberate that need and feed it what it craves!

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Taurus novelist Lionel Shriver writes, “There’s a freedom in apathy, a wild, dizzying liberation on which you can almost get drunk.” In accordance with astrological omens, I recommend you experiment with Shriver’s strategy in the coming weeks. APRIL FOOL! I lied. In fact, Lionel Shriver’s comment is one of the dumbest thoughts I have ever heard. Why would anyone want the cheap, damaged liberation that comes from feeling indifferent, numb, and passionless? Please do all you can to disrupt and dissolve any attraction you may have to that state, Taurus. In my opinion, you now have a sacred duty to cultivate extra helpings of enthusiasm, zeal, liveliness, and ambition.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): At enormous cost and after years of study, I have finally figured out the meaning of life, at least as it applies to you Geminis. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to reveal it to you unless you send me $1,000 and a case of Veuve Clicquot champagne. I’ve got to recoup my investment, right?! APRIL FOOL! Most of what I just said was a dirty lie. It’s true that I have worked hard to uncover the meaning of life for you Geminis. But I haven’t found it yet. And even if I did, I would of course provide it to you free. Luckily, you are now in a prime position to make dramatic progress in deciphering the meaning of life for yourself.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): For a limited time only, you have permission from the cosmos to be a wildly charismatic egomaniac who brags incessantly and insists on getting your selfish needs met at all times and in all places. Please feel free to have maximum amounts of narcissistic fun, Cancerian! APRIL FOOL! I was exaggerating a bit, hoping to offer you medicinal encouragement so you will stop being so damn humble and self-effacing all the time. But the truth is, now is indeed an excellent time to assert your authority, expand your clout, and flaunt your potency and sovereignty.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Michael Scott was a character in the TV sitcom The Office. He was the boss of a paper company. Played by Leo actor Steve Carell, he was notoriously self-centered and obnoxious. However, there was one famous scene I will urge you to emulate. He was asked if he would rather be feared or loved. He replied, “Um, easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.” Be like Michael Scott, Leo! APRIL FOOL! I was half-kidding. It’s true I’m quite excited by the likelihood that you will receive floods of love in the coming weeks. It’s also true that I think you should do everything possible to boost this likelihood. But I would rather that people be amazed and pleased at how much they love you, not afraid.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Now would be an excellent time for you to snag a Sugar Daddy or Sugar Momma or Sugar NonBinary Nurturer. The astrological omens are telling me that life is expanding its willingness and capacity to provide you with help, support, and maybe even extra cash. I dare you to dangle yourself as bait and sell your soul to the highest bidder. APRIL FOOL! I was half-kidding. While I do believe it’s prime time to ask for and receive more help, support, and extra cash, I don’t believe you will have to sell your soul to get any of it. Just be yourself!

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Happy Unbirthday, Libra! It’s that time halfway between your last birthday and your next. Here are the presents I plan to give you: a boost in your receptivity to be loved and needed; a constructive relationship with obsession; more power to accomplish the half-right thing when it’s hard to do the totally right thing; the disposal of 85 percent of the psychic trash left over from the time between 2018 and 2023; and a provocative new invitation to transcend an outworn old taboo. APRIL FOOL! The truth is, I can’t possibly supply every one of you with these fine offerings, so please bestow them on yourself. Luckily, the cosmic currents will conspire with you to make these things happen.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Now would be an excellent time to seek liposuction, a facelift, Botox, buttocks augmentation, or hair transplants. Cosmic rhythms will be on your side if you change how you look. APRIL FOOL! Everything I just said was a lie. I’ve got nothing against cosmetic surgery, but now is not the right time to alter your appearance. Here’s the correct oracle: Shed your disguises, stop hiding anything about who you really are, and show how proud you are of your idiosyncrasies.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): I command you to love Jesus and Buddha! If you don’t, you will burn in Hell! APRIL FOOL! I was just kidding. I was being sensationalistic to grab your attention. Here’s my real, true oracle for you: Love everybody, including Jesus and Buddha. And I mean love them all twice as strong and wild and tender. The cosmic powers ask it of you! The health of your immortal soul depends on it! Yes, Sagittarius, for your own selfish sake, you need to pour out more adoration and care and compassion than you ever have before. I’m not exaggerating! Be a lavish Fountain of Love!

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): If you gave me permission, I would cast a spell to arouse in you a case of ergophobia, i.e., an aversion to work. I think you need to take a sweet sabbatical from doing business as usual. APRIL FOOL! I was just joking about casting a spell on you. But I do wish you would indulge in a lazy, do-nothing retreat. If you want your ambitions to thrive later, you will be wise to enjoy a brief period of delightful emptiness and relaxing dormancy. As Buddhist teacher Sylvia Boorstein recommends, “Don’t just do something! Sit there!”

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In accordance with current astrological omens, I suggest you get the book Brain Surgery for Beginners by Steven Parker and David West. You now have the power to learn and even master complex new skills, and this would be a excellent place to start. APRIL FOOL! I was half-kidding. I don’t really think you should take a scalpel to the gray matter of your friends and family members — or yourself, for that matter. But I am quite certain that you currently have an enhanced power to learn and even master new skills. It’s time to raise your educational ambitions to a higher octave. Find out what lessons and training you need most, then make plans to get them.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In the religious beliefs of Louisiana Voodoo, one God presides over the universe but never meddles in the details of life. There are also many spirits who are always intervening and tinkering, intimately involved in the daily rhythm. They might do nice things for people or play tricks on them — and everything in between. In alignment with current astrological omens, I urge you to convert to the Louisiana Voodoo religion and try ingenious strategies to get the spirits to do your bidding. APRIL FOOL! I don’t really think you should convert. However, I believe it would be fun and righteous for you to proceed as if spirits are everywhere — and assume that you have the power to harness them to work on your behalf.

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Astrology Fun Stuff

Free Will Astrology: Week of 03/21/24

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Taurus artist Salvador Dali was prone to exaggerate for dramatic effect. We should remember that as we read his quote: “Mistakes are almost always of a sacred nature. Never try to correct them. On the contrary: Rationalize them; understand them thoroughly.” While that eccentric advice may not always be 100 percent accurate or useful, I think it will be true and helpful for you in the coming weeks. Have maximum fun making sacred mistakes, Taurus! Learn all you can from them. Use them to improve your life.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The professional fun advisors here at Free Will Astrology International Headquarters have concluded that your Party Hardy Potential Rating for the coming weeks is 9.8 (out of 10). In fact, this may be the Party Hardy Phase of the Year for you. You could gather the benefits of maximum revelry and conviviality with minimal side effects. Here’s a meditation to get you in the right mood: Imagine mixing business and pleasure with such panache that they blend into a gleeful, fruitful synergy.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Cancerian author and psychotherapist Virginia Satir (1916–1988) was renowned as the “Mother of Family Therapy.” Her research led her to conclude, “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.” That 12-hug recommendation seems daunting to achieve, but I hope you will strive for it in the coming weeks. You are in a phase when maximum growth is possible — and pushing to the frontiers of hugging will help you activate the full potential. (PS: Don’t force anyone to hug you. Make sure it’s consensual.)

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Have you been genuinely amazed anytime recently? Have you done something truly amazing? If not, it’s time to play catch-up. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you need and deserve exciting adventures that boggle your soul in all the best ways. You should be wandering out on the frontiers and tracking down provocative mysteries. You could grow even smarter than you already are if you expose yourself to challenges that will amaze you and inspire you to be amazing.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I invite you to perform a magic spell that will help prepare you for the rich, slippery soul work you have ahead of you. I’ll offer a suggestion, but feel free to compose your own ritual. First, go outside where it’s raining or misting, or find a waterfall. Stand with your legs apart and arms spread out as you turn your face up toward the falling moisture. As you drink it in, tell yourself you will be extra fluid and flowing in the coming weeks. Promise yourself you will stimulate and treasure succulent feelings. You will cultivate the sensation that everything you need is streaming in your direction.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You are gliding into the climax of your re-education about togetherness, intimacy, and collaboration. The lessons you’ve been learning have deepened your reservoir of wisdom about the nature of love. And in the coming weeks, even further teachings will arrive; even more openings and invitations will be available. You will be offered the chance to earn what could in effect be a master’s degree in relationships. It’ll be challenging work, but rewarding and interesting. Do as best as you can. Don’t demand perfection from yourself or anyone else.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Now is not a favorable phase to gamble on unknown entities. Nor should you allow seemingly well-meaning people to transgress your boundaries. Another Big No: Don’t heed the advice of fear-mongers or nagging scolds, whether they’re inside or outside your head. On the other hand, dear Scorpio, the coming weeks will be an excellent time for the following actions. 1. Phase out attachments to alliances and love interests that have exhausted their possibilities. 2. Seek the necessary resources to transform or outgrow a frustrating fact about your life. 3. Name truths that other people seem intent on ignoring and avoiding. 4. Conjure simple, small, slow, practical magic to make simple, small, slow, practical progress.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Falling in love is fun! It’s also exciting, enriching, inspiring, transformative, world-shaking, and educational. Wouldn’t it be fabulous if we could keep falling in love anew three or four times a year for as long as we live? We might always be our best selves, showing our most creative and generous sides, continually expanding our power to express our soulful intelligence. Alas, it’s not practical or realistic to always be falling in love with another new person. Here’s a possible alternative: What if we enlarged our understanding of what we could fall in love with? Maybe we would become perpetually infatuated with brilliant teachings, magical places, high adventures, and great art and music. The coming weeks will be an excellent time for you to cultivate this skill.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): I’m perplexed by spiritual teachers who fanatically preach the doctrine that we should BE HERE NOW as much as possible. Living with full enjoyment in the present moment is a valuable practice, but dismissing or demeaning the past is shortsighted. Our lives are forged from our histories. We should revere the stories we are made of, visit them regularly, and keep learning from them. Keep this in mind, Capricorn. It’s an excellent time to heal your memories and to be healed by them. Cultivate deep gratitude for your past as you give the old days all your love. Enjoy this quote from novelist Gregory Maguire: “Memory is part of the present. It builds us up inside; it knits our bones to our muscles and keeps our heart pumping. It is memory that reminds our bodies to work, and memory that reminds our spirits to work, too: it keeps us who we are.”

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Controversial author William S. Burroughs was a rough, tough troublemaker. But he had some wisdom that will soon be extra useful for you. He said that love is the best natural painkiller available. I bring this to your attention not because I believe you will experience more pain than the rest of us in the coming months. Rather, I am predicting you will have extra power to alleviate your pain — especially when you raise your capacity to give and receive love.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The planet Saturn entered Pisces in March 2023 and won’t depart for good until February 2026. Is that a bad thing or good thing for you Pisceans? Some astrologers might say you are in a challenging time when you must make cutbacks and take on increased responsibility. I have a different perspective. I believe this is a phase when you can get closer than ever before to knowing exactly what you want and how to accomplish what you want. In my view, you are being called to shed secondary wishes that distract you from your life’s central goals. I see this period as a homecoming — your invitation to glide into robust alignment with your soul’s code.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): I suspect you will soon have far more beginners’ luck than you ever thought possible. For best results — to generate even more wildly abundant torrents of good luck — you could adopt what Zen Buddhists called “beginner’s mind.” That means gazing upon everyone and everything as if encountering it for the first time. Here are other qualities I expect to be flowing freely through you in the coming weeks: spontaneity, curiosity, innocence, candor, and unpredictability. To the degree that you cultivate these states, you will invite even more beginner’s luck into your life.

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Astrology Fun Stuff

Free Will Astrology: Week of 03/14/23

ARIES (March 21-April 19): I will never advise you to dim the flame of your ambition or be shy about radiating your enthusiasm. For the next few weeks, though, I urge you to find ways to add sap, juice, and nectar to your fiery energy. See if you can be less like a furnace and more like a sauna, less like a rumbling volcano and more like a tropical river. Practically speaking, this might mean being blithely tender and unpredictably heartful as you emanate your dazzling glow.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Some spiritual traditions tell us that the path to enlightenment and awakening is excruciatingly difficult. One teaching compares it to crossing a bridge that’s sharper than a sword, thinner than a hair, and hotter than fire. Ideas like these have no place in my personal philosophy. I believe enlightenment and awakening are available to anyone who conscientiously practices kindness and compassion. A seeker who consistently asks, “What is the most loving thing I can do?” will be rewarded with life-enhancing transformations. Now I invite you to do what I just did, Taurus. That is, re-evaluate a task or process that everyone (maybe even you) assumes is hard and complicated. Perform whatever tweaks are necessary to understand it as fun, natural, and engaging.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Do you have a relative your parents never told you about? If so, you may find out about them soon. Do you have a secret you want to keep secret? If so, take extra caution to ensure it stays hidden. Is there a person you have had a covert crush on for a while? If so, they may discover your true feelings any minute now. Have you ever wondered if any secrets are being concealed from you? If so, probe gently for their revelation, and they just may leak out. Is there a lost treasure you have almost given up on finding? If so, revive your hopes.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Cancerian poet Pablo Neruda wrote this to a lover: “I want to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees.” That sounds very romantic. What does it mean? Well, the arrival of spring brings warmer soil and air, longer hours of sunlight, and nurturing precipitation. The flowers of some cherry trees respond by blooming with explosive vigor. Some trees sprout upwards of 4,000 blossoms. Maybe Neruda was exaggerating for poetic effect, but if he truly wanted to rouse his lover to be like a burgeoning cherry tree, he’d have to deal with an overwhelming outpouring of lush beauty and rampant fertility. Could he have handled it? If I’m reading the upcoming astrological omens correctly, you Cancerians now have the power to inspire and welcome such lavishness. And yes, you can definitely handle it.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Speaking on behalf of all non-Leos, I want to express our gratitude for the experiments you have been conducting. Your willingness to dig further than ever before into the mysterious depths is exciting. Please don’t be glum just because the results are still inconclusive and you feel a bit vulnerable. I’m confident you will ultimately generate fascinating outcomes that are valuable to us as well as you. Here’s a helpful tip: Give yourself permission to be even more daring and curious. Dig even deeper.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Unexpected mixtures are desirable, though they may initially feel odd. Unplanned and unheralded alliances will be lucky wild cards if you are willing to set aside your expectations. Best of all, I believe you will be extra adept at creating new forms of synergy and symbiosis, even as you enhance existing forms. Please capitalize on these marvelous openings, dear Virgo. Are there parts of your life that have been divided, and you would like to harmonize them? Now is a good time to try. Bridge-building will be your specialty for the foreseeable future.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Many of you Libras have a special talent for tuning into the needs and moods of other people. This potentially gives you the power to massage situations to serve the good of all. Are you using that power to its fullest? Could you do anything more to harness it? Here’s a related issue: Your talent for tuning into the needs and moods of others can give you the capacity to massage situations in service to your personal aims. Are you using that capacity to its fullest? Could you do anything more to harness it? Here’s one more variation on the theme: How adept are you at coordinating your service to the general good and your service to your personal aims? Can you do anything to enhance this skill? Now is an excellent time to try.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Psychologist Carl Jung said, “One of the most difficult tasks people can perform is the invention of good games. And this cannot be done by people out of touch with their instinctive selves.” According to my astrological assessment, you will thrive in the coming weeks when you are playing good, interesting games. If you dream them up and instigate them yourself, so much the better. And what exactly do I mean by “games”? I’m referring to any organized form of play that rouses fun, entertainment, and education. Playing should be one of your prime modes, Scorpio! As Jung notes, that will happen best if you are in close touch with your instinctual self — also known as your animal intelligence.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Can Sagittarians ever really find a home they are utterly satisfied with? Are they ever at peace with exactly who they are and content to be exactly where they are? Some astrologers suggest these are difficult luxuries for you Centaurs to accomplish. But I think differently. In my view, it’s your birthright to create sanctuaries for yourself that incorporate so much variety and expansiveness that you can feel like an adventurous explorer without necessarily having to wander all over the earth. Now is an excellent time to work on this noble project.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You picked Door #2 a while back. Was that the best choice? I’m not sure. Evidence is still ambiguous. As we await more conclusive information, I want you to know that Door #1 and Door #3 will soon be available for your consideration again. The fun fact is that you can try either of those doors without abandoning your activities in the area where Door #2 has led you. But it’s important to note that you can’t try both Door #1 and Door #3. You must choose one or the other. Proceed with care and nuance, Capricorn, but not with excessive caution. Your passwords are daring sensitivity and “discerning audacity.”

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): My second cousin has the same name as me and lives in Kosice, Slovakia. He’s a Slovakian-speaking chemical engineer who attended the Slovak University of Technology. Do we have anything in common besides our DNA and names? Well, we both love to tell stories. He and I are both big fans of the band Rising Appalachia. We have the same mischievous brand of humor. He has designed equipment and processes to manufacture products that use chemicals in creative ways, and I design oracles to arouse inspirations that change people’s brain chemistry. Now I invite you, Aquarius, to celebrate allies with whom you share key qualities despite being quite different. It’s a fine time to get maximum enjoyment and value from your connections with such people.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): My Piscean friend Jeff Greenwald wrote the humorous but serious book Shopping for Buddhas. It’s the story of his adventures in Nepal as he traveled in quest of a statue to serve as a potent symbol for his spiritual yearning. I’m reminded of his search as I ruminate on your near future. I suspect you would benefit from an intense search for divine inspiration — either in the form of an iconic object, a pilgrimage to a holy sanctuary, or an inner journey to the source of your truth and love.

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Astrology Fun Stuff

Free Will Astrology: Week of 03/07/24

ARIES (March 21-April 19): “Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow talent to the dark place where it leads.” So wrote Aries author Erica Jong. Is that true? Is it hard to access the fullness of our talents? Must we summon rare courage and explore dark places? Sometimes, yes. To overcome obstacles that interfere with ripening our talents, there may be tough work to do. I suspect the coming weeks and months will be one of those phases for you, Aries. But here’s the good news: I predict you will succeed.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In October 1879, Thomas Edison and his research team produced the first electric light bulb that was viable enough to be of practical use. In September 1882, Edison opened the first power plant on the planet, enabling people to light their homes with the new invention. That was a revolutionary advance in a very short time. Dear Taurus, the innovations you have been making and I hope will continue to make are not as monumental as Edison’s. But I suspect they rank high among the best and brightest in your personal life history. Don’t slack off now. There’s more work to be done — interesting, exciting work!

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I watched as the Thai snake charmer kissed a poisonous cobra, taming the beast’s danger with her dancing hands. I beheld the paramedic dangle precariously from a helicopter to snag the woman and child stranded on a rooftop during a flood. And in my dream, I witnessed three of my Gemini friends singing a dragon to sleep, enabling them to ramble freely across the bridge the creature had previously forbidden them to traverse.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): The horoscopes you are reading have been syndicated in publications all over the world: the U.S., Italy, France, Japan, Canada, Mexico, Australia, Netherlands, Russia, Cambodia, Singapore, Hong Kong, Venezuela, Ireland, and Finland. Yet it has never appeared in a publication in the U.K., where there are over 52 million people whose first language is English — the same as mine. But I predict that will change in the coming months: I bet a British newspaper or website will finally print Free Will Astrology. I prophesy comparable expansions in your life, too, fellow Cancerian. What new audiences or influences or communities do you want to be part of? Make it happen!

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Author Jean-Dominique Bauby wrote, “Today it seems to me that my whole life was nothing but a string of small near misses.” If you have endured anything resembling that frustration, Leo, I have good news: The coming months won’t bring you a string of small near misses. Indeed, the number of small near misses will be very few, maybe even zero. Instead, I predict you will gather an array of big, satisfying completions. Life will honor you with bull’s eyes, direct hits, and master strokes. Here’s the best way you can respond to your good fortune and ensure the arrival of even more good fortune: Share your wealth!

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Virgo advice expert Cheryl Strayed wrote some rather pushy directions I will borrow and use for your horoscope. She and I say, “You will never have my permission to close yourself off to love and give up. Never. You must do everything you can to get what you want and need, to find ‘that type of love.’ It’s there for you.” I especially want you to hear and meditate on this guidance right now, Virgo. Why? Because I believe you are in urgent need of re-dedicating yourself to your heart’s desire. You have a sacred duty to intensify your imagination and deepen your willpower as you define what kind of love and tenderness and togetherness you want most.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Author Adam Alter writes, “Perfect success is boring and uninspiring, and abject failure is exhausting and demoralizing. Somewhere between these extremes is a sweet spot that maximizes long-term progress.” And what is the magic formula? Alter says it’s when you make mistakes an average of 16 percent of the time and are successful 84 percent. Mistakes can be good because they help you learn and grow. Judging from your current astrological omens, Libra, I’m guessing you’re in a phase when your mistake rate is higher than usual — about 30 percent. (Though you’re still 70 percent successful!) That means you are experiencing expanded opportunities to learn all you can from studying what doesn’t work well. (Adam Alter’s book is Anatomy of a Breakthrough: How to Get Unstuck When It Matters Most.)

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Sometimes you Scorpios are indeed secretive, as traditional astrologers assert. You understand that knowledge is power, and you build your potency by gathering information other people don’t have the savvy or resources to access. But it’s also true that you may appear to be secretive when in fact you have simply perceived and intuited more than everyone else wants to know. They might be overwhelmed by the deep, rich intelligence you have acquired — and would actually prefer to be ignorant of it. So you’re basically hiding stuff they want you to hide. Anyway, Scorpio, I suspect now is a time when you are loading up even more than usual with juicy gossip, inside scoops, tantalizing mysteries, taboo news, and practical wisdom that few others would be capable of managing. Please use your superpowers with kindness and wisdom.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Here’s a little-known fact about me: I am the priest, wizard, rabbi, and pope of Parish #31025 in the Universal Life Church. One of my privileges in this role is to perform legal marriages. It has been a few years since I presided over anyone’s wedding, but I am coming out of semi-retirement to consecrate an unprecedented union. It’s between two aspects of yourself that have not been blended but should be blended. Do you know what I’m referring to? Before you read further, please identify these two aspects. Ready? I now pronounce you husband and wife, or husband and husband, or wife and wife, or spouse and spouse — or whatever you want to be pronounced.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “You don’t have to suffer to be a poet,” said poet John Ciardi. “Adolescence is enough suffering for anyone.” I will add that adolescence is enough suffering for everyone, even if they’re not a poet. For most of us, our teenage years brought us streams of angst, self-doubt, confusion, and fear — sufficient to last a lifetime. That’s the bad news, Capricorn. The good news is that the coming months will be one of the best times ever for you to heal the wounds left over from your adolescence. You may not be able to get a total cure, but 65 percent is very possible. Seventy-five percent isn’t out of the question. Get started!

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): A psychic once predicted that I would win a Grammy award for my music. She said my dad and mom would be in the audience, smiling proudly. Well, my dad died four years ago, and I haven’t produced a new album of songs for over 10 years. So that Grammy prophecy is looking less and less likely. I should probably give up hope that it will come to pass. What about you, Aquarius? Is there any dream or fantasy you should consider abandoning? The coming weeks would be a good time to do so. It could open your mind and heart to a bright future possibility now hovering on the horizon.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): I invite you to entertain the following theory: Certain environments, companions, and influences enhance your intelligence, health, and ability to love — while others either do the opposite or have a neutral effect. If that’s true, it makes good sense for you to put yourself in the presence of environments, companions, and influences that enhance you. The coming weeks will be an excellent time to test this theory. I hope you will do extensive research and then initiate changes that implement your findings.

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Astrology Fun Stuff

Free Will Astrology: Week of 02/29/24

ARIES (March 21-April 19): In my astrological estimation, the coming weeks will be an ideal time for you to declare amnesty, negotiate truces, and shed long-simmering resentments. Other recommended activities: Find ways to joke about embarrassing memories, break a bad habit just because it’s fun to do so, and throw away outdated stuff you no longer need. Just do the best you can as you carry out these challenging assignments; you don’t have to be perfect. For inspiration, read these wise words from poet David Whyte: “When you forgive others, they may not notice, but you will heal. Forgiveness is not something we do for others; it is a gift to ourselves.”

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Many of you Tauruses have a robust capacity for doing diligent, effective work. Many of you also have a robust capacity for pursuing sensual delights and cultivating healing beauty. When your mental health is functioning at peak levels, these two drives to enjoy life are complementary; they don’t get in each other’s way. If you ever fall out of your healthy rhythm, these two drives may conflict. My wish for you in the coming months is that they will be in synergistic harmony, humming along with grace. That’s also my prediction: I foresee you will do just that.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Many people choose wealthy entertainers and celebrity athletes for their heroes. It doesn’t bother me if they do. Why should it? But the superstars who provoke my adoration are more likely to be artists and activists. Author Rebecca Solnit is one. Potawatomi biologist and author Robin Wall Kimmerer. The four musicians in the Ukrainian band DakhaBrakha. Poet Rita Dove and novelist Haruki Murakami. My capacity to be inspired by these maestros seems inexhaustible. What about you, Gemini? Who are the heroes who move you and shake you in all the best ways? Now is a time to be extra proactive in learning from your heroes — and rounding up new heroes to be influenced by.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Your homework assignment is to work on coordinating two issues that are key to your life’s purpose. The first of these issues is your fervent longing to make your distinctive mark on this crazy, chaotic world. The second issue is your need to cultivate sweet privacy and protective self-care. These themes may sometimes seem to be opposed. But with even just a little ingenious effort, you can get them to weave together beautifully. Now is a good time to cultivate this healing magic.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): If you don’t recognize the face in the mirror right now, that’s a good thing. If you feel unfamiliar feelings rising up in you or find yourself entertaining unusual longings, those are also good things. The voice of reason may say you should be worried about such phenomena. But as the voice of mischievous sagacity, I urge you to be curious and receptive. You are being invited to explore fertile possibilities that have previously been unavailable or off-limits. Fate is offering you the chance to discover more about your future potentials. At least for now, power can come from being unpredictable and investigating taboos.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I invite you to study the fine art of sacred intimacy in the coming weeks. Life’s rhythms will redound in your favor as you enjoy playing tenderly and freely with the special people you care for. To aid you in your efforts, here are three questions to ponder: 1. What aspects of togetherness might flourish if you approach them with less solemnity and more fun? 2. Could you give more of yourself to your relationships in ways that are purely enjoyable, not done mostly out of duty? 3. Would you be willing to explore the possibility that the two of you could educate and ripen each other’s dark sides?

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Creativity teacher Roger von Oech tells how bandleader Count Basie asked a club owner to fix his piano. It was always out of tune. A few weeks later, the owner called Basie to say everything was good. But when Basie arrived to play, the piano still had sour notes. “I thought you said you fixed it!” Basie complained. The owner said, “I did. I painted it.” The moral of the story for the rest of us, concludes von Oech, is that we’ve got to solve the right problems. I want you Libras to do that in the coming weeks. Make sure you identify what really needs changing, not some distracting minor glitch.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Most of us have received an inadequate or downright poor education about love and intimate togetherness. Given how much misinformation and trivializing propaganda we have absorbed, it’s amazing any of us have figured out how to create healthy, vigorous relationships. That’s the bad news, Scorpio. The good news is that you are cruising through a sustained phase of your astrological cycle when you’re far more likely than usual to acquire vibrant teachings about this essential part of your life. I urge you to draw up a plan for how to take maximum advantage of the cosmic opportunity. For inspiration, here’s poet Rainer Maria Rilke: “For one human being to love another human being: that is perhaps the most difficult task entrusted to us, the ultimate task, the final test, and proof, the work for which all other work is merely preparation.” (Translation by Stephen Mitchell.)

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): The myths and legends of many cultures postulate the existence of spirits who are mischievous but not malevolent. They play harmless pranks. Their main purpose may be to remind us that another world, a less material realm, overlaps with ours. And sometimes, the intention of these ethereal tricksters seems to be downright benevolent. They nudge us out of our staid rhythms, mystifying us with freaky phenomena that suggest reality is not as solid and predictable as we might imagine. I suspect you may soon have encounters with some of these characters: friendly poltergeists, fairies, ghosts, sprites, or elves. My sense is that they will bring you odd but genuine blessings.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Some studies suggest that less than half of us have best friends. Men are even less likely to have beloved buddies than the other genders do. If you are one of these people, the coming weeks and months will be an excellent time to remedy the deficiency. Your ability to attract and bond with interesting allies will be higher than usual. If you do have best friends, I suggest you intensify your appreciation for and devotion to them. You need and deserve companions who respect you deeply, know you intimately, and listen well. But you’ve got to remember that relationships like these require deep thought, hard work, and honest expressions of feelings!

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Among all the zodiac signs, you Aquarians are among the best at enjoying a bird’s-eye perspective on the world. Soaring high above the mad chatter and clatter is your birthright and specialty. I love that about you, which is why I hardly ever shout up in your direction, “Get your ass back down to earth!” However, I now suspect you are overdue to spend some quality time here on the ground level. At least temporarily, I advise you to trade the bird’s-eye view for a worm’s-eye view. Don’t fret. It’s only for a short time. You’ll be aloft again soon.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In old Hawaii, the people loved their deities but also demanded productive results. If a god stopped providing worshipers with what they wanted, they might dismiss him and adopt a replacement. I love that! And I invite you to experiment with a similar approach in the coming weeks. Are your divine helpers doing a good job? Are they supplying you with steady streams of inspiration, love, and fulfillment? If not, fire them and scout around for substitutes. If they are performing well, pour out your soul in gratitude.

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Astrology Fun Stuff

Free Will Astrology: Week of 02/22/24

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Aries filmmaker Akira Kurosawa was one of the greats. In his 30 films, he crafted a reputation as a masterful storyteller. A key moment in his development as an emotionally intelligent artist came when he was 13 years old. His older brother Heigo took him to view the aftermath of the Great Kantō earthquake. Akira wanted to avert his gaze from the devastation, but Heigo compelled him to look. Why? He wished for Akira to learn to deal with fear by facing it directly. I think you Aries people are more skilled at this challenging exercise than all the other signs. I hope you will call on it with aplomb in the coming weeks. You may be amazed at the courage it arouses in you.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “When a mountain doesn’t listen, say a prayer to the sea,” said Taurus painter Cy Twombly. “If God doesn’t respond, direct your entreaties to Goddess,” I tell my Taurus friend Audrey. “If your mind doesn’t provide you with useful solutions, make an appeal to your heart instead,” my Taurus mentor advises me. This counsel should be useful for you in the coming weeks, Taurus. It’s time to be diligent, relentless, ingenious, and indefatigable in going after what you want. Keep asking until you find a source that will provide it.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Gemini philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson offered advice that’s perfect for you right now. He said, “Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us, or we find it not.” Here’s what I will add. First, you very much need to commune with extra doses of beauty in the coming weeks. Doing so will expedite your healing and further your education — two activities that are especially important. Second, one way to accomplish your assignment is to put yourself in the presence of all the beautiful people, places, and things you can find. Third, be imaginative as you cultivate beauty within yourself. How? That’s your homework.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): I bet that sometime soon, you will dream of flying through the sky on a magic carpet. In fact, this may be a recurring dream for you in the coming months. By June, you may have soared along on a floating rug over 10 times. Why? What’s this all about? I suspect it’s one aspect of a project that life is encouraging you to undertake. It’s an invitation to indulge in more flights of the imagination, to open your soul to mysterious potencies, to give your fantasy life permission to be wilder and freer. You know that old platitude “shit happens”? You’re ready to experiment with a variation on that: “Magic happens.”

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): On February 22nd, ancient Romans celebrated the holiday of Caristia. It was a time for reconciliation. People strove to heal estrangements and settle long-standing disagreements. Apologies were offered, and truces were negotiated. In alignment with current astrological omens, Leo, I recommend you revive this tradition. Now is an excellent time to embark on a crusade to unify, harmonize, restore, mend, and assuage. I dare you to put a higher priority on love than on ego!

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): My poet friend Jafna likes to say that only two types of love are available to us: too little and too much. We are either deprived of the precise amount and quality of the love we want, or else we have to deal with an excess of love that doesn’t match the kind we want. But I predict that this will at most be a mild problem for you in the coming weeks — and perhaps not a problem at all. You will have a knack for giving and receiving just the right amount of love, neither too little nor too much. And the love flowing toward you and from you will be gracefully appropriate.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): If the devil card comes up for me in a divinatory Tarot reading, I don’t get worried or scared that something bad might happen. On the contrary, I interpret it favorably. It means that an interesting problem or riddle has arrived or will soon arrive in my life — and that this twist can potentially make me wiser, kinder, and wilder. The appearance of the devil card suggests that I need to be challenged so as to grow a new capacity or understanding. It’s a good omen, telling me that life is conspiring to give me what I need to outgrow my limitations and ignorance. Now apply these principles, Libra, as you respond to the devil card I just drew for you.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): A taproot is a thick, central, and primary root from which a plant’s many roots branch out laterally. Typically, a taproot grows downward and is pretty straight. It may extend to a depth greater than the height of the plant sprouting above ground. Now let’s imagine that we humans have metaphorical taproots. They connect us with our sources of inner nourishment. They are lifelines to secret or hidden treasures we may be only partly conscious of. Let’s further imagine that in the coming months, Scorpio, your taproot will flourish, burgeon, and spread deeper to draw in new nutrients. Got all that? Now I invite you to infuse this beautiful vision with an outpouring of love for yourself and for the wondrous vitality you will be absorbing.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Behavioral ecologist Professor Dan Charbonneau has observed the habits of ants, bees, and other social insects. He says that a lot of the time, many of them just lounge around doing nothing. In fact, most animals do the same. The creatures of the natural world are just not very busy. Psychologist Dr. Sandi Mann urges us to learn from their lassitude. “We’ve created a society where we fear boredom, and we’re afraid of doing nothing,” she says. But that addiction to frenzy may limit our inclination to daydream, which in turn inhibits our creativity. I bring these facts to your attention, Sagittarius, because I suspect you’re in a phase when lolling around doing nothing much will be extra healthy for you. Liberate and nurture your daydreams, please!

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “Education is an admirable thing,” wrote Oscar Wilde, “but it is well to remember that nothing worth knowing can be taught.” As I ponder your future in the coming weeks, I vociferously disagree with him. I am sure you can learn many things worth knowing from teachers of all kinds. It’s true that some of the lessons may be accidental or unofficial — and not delivered by traditional teachers. But that won’t diminish their value. I invite you to act as if you will in effect be enrolled in school 24/7 until the equinox.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): The planets Mars and Venus are both cruising through Aquarius. Do they signify that synchronicities will weave magic into your destiny? Yes! Here are a few possibilities I foresee: 1. smoldering flirtations that finally ignite; 2. arguments assuaged by love-making; 3. mix-ups about the interplay between love and lust or else wonderful synergies between love and lust; 4. lots of labyrinthine love talk, romantic sparring, and intricate exchange about the nature of desire; 5. adventures in the sexual frontiers; 6. opportunities to cultivate interesting new varieties of intimacy.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Unlike the pope’s decrees, my proclamations are not infallible. As opposed to Nostradamus and many modern soothsayers, I never imagine I have the power to definitely decipher what’s ahead. One of my main mottoes is: “The future is undecided. Our destinies are always mutable.” Please keep these caveats in mind whenever you commune with my horoscopes. Furthermore, consider adopting my approach as you navigate through the world — especially in the coming weeks, when your course will be extra responsive to your creative acts of willpower. Decide right now what you want the next chapter of your life story to be about. You can make it what you want.

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Astrology Fun Stuff

Free Will Astrology: Week of 02/15/24

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Some stories don’t have a distinct and orderly beginning, middle, and end. At any one point, it may be hard to know where you are. Other tales have a clear beginning, middle, and end, but the parts occur out of order; maybe the middle happens first, then the end, followed by the beginning. Every other variation is possible, too. And then there’s the fact that the beginning of a new story is implied at the end of many stories, even stories with fuzzy plots and ambiguous endings. Keep these ruminations in mind during the coming weeks, Aries. You will be in a phase when it’s essential to know what story you are living in and where you are located in the plot’s unfoldment.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): As I meditate on your destiny in the near future, I sense you will summon extra courage, perhaps even fearless and heroic energy. I wonder if you will save a drowning person, or rescue a child from a burning building, or administer successful CPR to a stranger who has collapsed on the street. Although I suspect your adventures will be less dramatic than those, they may still be epic. Maybe you will audaciously expose corruption and deceit, or persuade a friend to not commit self-harm, or speak bold thoughts you haven’t had the daring to utter before.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Lately, you have been learning more than you thought possible. You have surpassed and transcended previous limits in your understanding of how the world works. Congratulations! I believe the numerous awakenings stem from your willingness to wander freely into the edgy frontier — and then stay there to gather in all the surprising discoveries and revelations flowing your way. I will love it if you continue your pilgrimage out there beyond the borders for a while longer.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): As I study the astrological omens for the coming weeks, I suspect you will feel more at home in a situation that has previously felt unnerving or alien. Or you will expedite the arrival of the future by connecting more deeply with your roots. Or you will cultivate more peace and serenity by exploring exotic places. To be honest, though, the planetary configurations are half-mystifying me; I’m offering my best guesses. You may assemble a strong foundation for an experimental fantasy. Or perhaps you will engage in imaginary travel, enabling you to wander widely without leaving your sanctuary. Or all of the above.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Of your hundreds of wishes and yearnings, Leo, which is the highest on your priority list? And which are the next two? What are the sweet, rich, inspiring experiences you want more than anything else in life? I invite you to compile a tally of your top three longings. Write them on a piece of paper. Draw or paste an evocative symbol next to each one. Then place this holy document in a prominent spot that you will see regularly. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you are in a phase when focusing and intensifying your intentions will bring big rewards.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Actor and travel writer Andrew McCarthy hiked across Spain along the famous pilgrimage route, Camino de Santiago. On the way, he felt so brave and strong that at one point he paradoxically had a sobbing breakdown. He realized how fear had always dominated his life. With this chronic agitation absent for the first time ever, he felt free to be his genuine self. “I started to feel more comfortable in the world and consequently in my own skin,” he testified, concluding, “I think travel obliterates fear.” I recommend applying his prescription to yourself in the coming months, Virgo — in whatever ways your intuition tells you are right. Cosmic forces will be aligned with you.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In the natural world, there are four partnership styles. In the parasitic variety, one living thing damages another while exploiting it. In the commensal mode, there is exploitation by one partner, but no harm occurs. In the epizoic model, one creature serves as a vehicle for the other but gets nothing in return. The fourth kind of partnership is symbiotic. It’s beneficial to both parties. I bring these thoughts to your attention, Libra, because the coming weeks will be an excellent time to take an inventory of your alliances and affiliations — and begin to de-emphasize, even phase out, all but the symbiotic ones.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Scorpio author Dan Savage says, “I wish I could let myself eat and eat and eat.” He imagines what it would be like if he didn’t “have to monitor the foods I put in my mouth or go to the gym anymore.” He feels envious of those who have no inhibitions about being gluttonous. In alignment with astrological aspects, I authorize Savage and all Scorpios to temporarily set aside such inhibitions. Take a brief break. Experiment with what it feels like to free yourself to ingest big helpings of food and drink — as well as metaphorical kinds of nourishment like love and sex and sensations and entertainment. Just for now, allow yourself to play around with voraciousness. You may be surprised at the deeper liberations it triggers.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Dear Wise Gambler: You rank high in your spacious intelligence, intuitive logic, and robust fantasy life. There’s only one factor that may diminish your ability to discern the difference between wise and unwise gambles. That’s your tendency to get so excited by big, expansive ideas that you neglect to account for messy, inconvenient details. And it’s especially important not to dismiss or underplay those details in the coming weeks. If you include them in your assessments, you will indeed be the shrewdest of wise gamblers.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Capricorn golfer Tiger Woods is one of the all-time greats. He holds numerous records and has won scores of tournaments. On 20 occasions, he has accomplished the most difficult feat: hitting a hole-in-one. But the weird fact is that there were two decades (1998–2018) between his 19th and 20th holes-in-one. I suspect your own fallow time came in 2023, Capricorn. By now, you should be back in the hole-in-one groove, metaphorically speaking. And the coming months may bring a series of such crowning strokes.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Poet Anna Akhmatova (1889–1966) lived till age 76, but her destiny was a rough ride. Her native country, the authoritarian Soviet Union, censored her work and imprisoned her friends and family. In one of her poems, she wrote, “If I can’t have love, if I can’t find peace, give me a bitter glory.” She got the latter wish. She came close to winning a Nobel Prize and is now renowned as a great poet and heroic symbol of principled resistance to tyranny. Dear Aquarius, I predict that your life in the coming months will be very different from Akhmatova’s. I expect you will enjoy more peace and love than you’ve had in a long time. Glory will stream your way, too, but it will be graceful, never bitter. The effects will be heightened if you express principled resistance to tyranny.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Piscean perfumer Sophia Grojsman says, “Our lives are quiet. We like to be disturbed by delight.” To that end, she has created over 30 best-selling fragrances, including Eternity Purple Orchid, Désir Coulant (Flowing Desire), Spellbound, Volupté (Pleasure), and Jelisaveta (“God is abundance”). I bring this up, Pisces, because I believe it’s now essential for you to be disturbed by delight — as well as to disturb others with delight. Please do what’s necessary to become a potent magnet for marvelous interruptions, sublime interventions, and blissful intrusions. And make yourself into a provider of those healing subversions, too.

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Astrology Fun Stuff

Free Will Astrology: Week of 02/08/24

ARIES (March 21-April 19): In honor of the Valentine season, and in accordance with astrological omens, I offer you a love letter from an unpublished novel by an Aries friend. Consider saying something similar to a person who would be thrilled to hear it. Here it is. “We will seize the sexiest joy we can conjure. We will turn each other into boisterous deities in quest of liberation from all unnecessary limitations. We will tenderly shock each other with mysterious epiphanies and rivers of bliss. ‘Wild’ will be too mild a word for the awakenings we provoke in each other’s futures.”

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “The greater the fool, the better the dancer.” Composer Theodore Hook said that. Poet Edwin Denby agreed. He said, “There is a bit of insanity in dancing that does everybody a great deal of good.” Choreographer Martha Graham added, “Dance is the hidden language of the soul of the body.” I bring these thoughts to your attention because the coming weeks will be an excellent time for you to get freer, more sensuous, and more unconstrained. Dancing your inhibitions into oblivion will be an excellent way to pursue these goals. So will doing everything with a dancer’s abandon, including love-making.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Years ago, Salon.com asked various critics to name the most preposterous sex scene to appear in a recently published novel. I was honored that one of the vignettes selected was from my book The Televisionary Oracle. As I read the critic’s review of my wild, funny, and crazy erotic story, I realized he was a pedantic macho prude who thought sex isn’t sex unless it’s dead serious and joylessly intense. The characters of mine he regarded as preposterous were in fact playing, laughing, and having goofy fun. In the spirit of my novel’s kooky lovers and in accordance with astrological omens, I invite you to pursue uproarious amusement while enjoying the arts of intimacy — both in and out of bed. (PS: Playwright Rose Franken said, “Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.”)

CANCER (June 21-July 22): A psychic told me that in one of my past lives, I was Numa Pompilius, the second king of Rome. It’s an intriguing theory that could help explain why my horoscopes are popular in Italy. What about you, my fellow Cancerian? Is there an aspect of your reincarnational history that aids your current destiny? Or are there past events in your current life that are becoming more influential? The coming weeks will be a good time to meditate on these possibilities. While you ruminate on your history, check in with the spirits of your ancestors and departed allies to see if they have any inspirational messages for you.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Kevin Kelly wrote the book Excellent Advice for Living: Wisdom I Wish I’d Known Earlier. There he observes, “Listening well is a superpower. While listening to someone you love, keep asking them ‘Is there more?’ until there is no more.” Dear Leo, this is excellent advice for you in the coming weeks. I urge you to specialize in gathering the deep revelations of those you care for. Opening yourself to them in unprecedented ways will boost your soul power and enrich your wisdom.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Imagine you are walking on a hill at night. You are headed to meet a person you adore, who awaits you with champagne and chocolate. The weather is balmy. The moon is full. You are singing songs you both love, announcing your arrival. The songs tell stories about how much you two love to yearn for each other and how much you love quenching your yearning. When you arrive, dear Virgo, what will you tell your beloved to make them feel supremely understood and appreciated?

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Has your approach to togetherness become infused with habit or numbness? When was the last time you got extravagant for the sake of love? Has it been a while since you tried a daring romantic move or two? I bring these questions to your attention, Libra, because now is an excellent time to rev up your imagination as you upgrade intimacy, companionship, and collaboration. I hope you will authorize your fantasy life to be lush, unruly, and experimental. Spur yourself to dream up departures from routine that intrigue your close allies.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Author W. Somerset Maugham (1874–1965) testified, “My own belief is that there is hardly anyone whose sexual life, if it were broadcast, would not fill the world with surprise and horror.” Is that true about you, Scorpio? Even if it is, I’m guessing the horrifying aspects will be nonexistent in the coming weeks. There may be surprises, yes. There may be entertaining interludes. But from what I can tell, everything will at least be educational and colorful. What are your most exotic erotic fantasies? Now is a good time to ask a willing partner to explore them with grace and good humor.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): The Valentine season is looming, and many of us are receptive to advice about togetherness. I’ll offer some principles that I believe are essential to you Sagittarians as you nourish ALL your close relationships, including your romantic bonds. They are from novelist Graham Joyce. He wrote, “Two people in love don’t make a hive mind. Neither should they want to be a hive mind, to think the same, to know the same. It’s about being separate and still loving each other, being distinct from each other. One is the violin string, one is the bow.”

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Lately, I have been intoxicated a lot. Not because I’ve ingested drugs and alcohol. Not because I have been doing three-hour meditations or studying sacred texts. I’ve felt so wildly free and euphoric because life has been dismantling some of my fears. Once it happened when my psychotherapist spoke just the right curative words at a pivotal moment in our session. Another time, I came upon a very large hare while strolling in the woods and had an epiphany about how to heal a painful trauma in my past. On another occasion, I dreamed of a priestess doing a banishing ritual to exorcize my abandonment fears. There were three other similar events, as well. I bring this to your attention because I suspect you may soon also get intoxicated through the loss of fears.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Reading through the annals of famous authors’ quotes about love, I’m horrified by the relentlessness of their sour assessments. “Love is merely a madness,” wrote Shakespeare. “Whoever is not jealous is not in love,” said St. Augustine. “General incivility is the very essence of love,” declared Jane Austen. “It is impossible to love and be wise,” moaned Francis Bacon. “Real love always has something hidden — some loss or boredom or tiny hate,” says Andrew Sean Greer. I am allergic to all that dour noise! Personally, I have been entangled in a lot of romantic love during my time on Earth, and most of it has been interesting, educationala, and therapeutic. I am deeply grateful for ALL of it, even the heartbreaks. Any wisdom I have developed owes a great debt to my lovers. What about you, Aquarius? Where do you stand on these issues? I suspect the coming months will provide you with ample reasons to embrace my attitudes.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Have you discovered all there is to know about your sexual feelings and proclivities? Have you come to a complete understanding of what turns you on and how you might express it? I hope your answer to those questions is “no,” Pisces. In my view, all of us should keep evolving our relationship with eros. There is always more to discover and explore about the mysteries of our desires. Always more to learn about what excites and inspires us. The coming days will be an excellent time for you to enjoy this research.

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Astrology Fun Stuff

Free Will Astrology: Week of 02/01/24

ARIES (March 21-April 19): “Happiness” is an amorphous term with a different meaning for everyone. What makes me feel happy may be unlike what works for you. Besides that, any kind of perfect happiness is impossible to achieve. However we define it, we are always a mix of being happy and unhappy. Nevertheless, I invite you to ruminate about the subject in the coming days. I believe you are primed to arrive at a realistic new understanding of your personal version of happiness — and raise your happiness levels by at least 15 percent. Maybe more! Now here are helpful clues from philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche: “Precisely the least thing, the gentlest, lightest thing, the rustling of a lizard, a breath, a whisk, a twinkling of the eye — what’s little makes up the quality of the best happiness. Soft!”

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): I invite you to take an inventory of your taboos, inhibitions, and restrictions. Meditate on why you originally adopted them. Evaluate how well they have served you and whether they are still meaningful. If you find any of them have become unnecessary or even injurious, jettison them. And be excited and happy about being free of them. If you decide that some taboos, inhibitions, and restrictions are still wise for you to maintain, thank them for their service and honor the self-protection they provide.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Gemini novelist Gregory Maguire says there are a “thousand ways people shrink from life, as if chance and change are by their nature toxic and disfiguring.” Your assignment in the coming weeks is to contradict his theory. I’m hoping you will interpret all chance and change as potentially expansive, redemptive, and interesting. You will never shrink from life, but will boldly meet challenges and embrace twists of fate as interesting opportunities. I have abundant faith in your ability to carry out this vigorous project!

CANCER (June 21-July 22): You could be a masterful eliminator of toxins and wastes in the coming weeks. Do it both for yourself and for those you care about. Start by purging nonessentials that obstruct the flow of the good life. These might include defunct fantasies, mistaken understandings, apathetic attitudes, and unloving approaches. Among the other dross or dreck you could root out is any clutter that’s making familiar environments feel oppressive. By the way, fellow Cancerian, this should be fun. If it’s not, you’re doing it wrong.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): My goals right now are to inspire you in the following three ways: 1. to be full of love for your daily life; 2. to adore yourself exactly as you are; 3. to shed any numbness or boredom you feel and replace them with alert aliveness. To help you in this exalted effort, I offer the inspiration of three quotes.
1. “The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miraculous in the common.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson 2. “The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.” — Eden Phillpotts 3. “I have the mysterious feeling of seeing for the first time something I have always known.” — Bernardo Bertolucci

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In the coming weeks, I hope you avoid sucking up to egotistical manipulators. Please also refrain from being an unappreciated beast of burden and a half-willing pawn in boring games. If you are interested in paying off karmic debts, make sure they are yours, not anyone else’s. If you plan to work hard to lay the foundation for a future liberation, get a guarantee that YOU will be one of the liberated people. PS: I’m fine with you doing unselfish things as long as they will also have selfish benefits.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): One of the great maladies affecting modern people is the atrophy of the soul. It’s related to another affliction: the apathy of the soul. A key contributor to these misfortunes is the entertainment industry. Its shallow and artificial stimuli are engineered to overfeed our egos, leaving our poor souls malnourished. Please note that I have no problem with our egos. They are an important part of our makeup and are essential for healthy functioning. But it’s a shame they hog all the glory and sustenance. Now here’s my climactic message for you, Libra: It’s high time to celebrate a holiday I call Nurture the Soul. Make it last at least three weeks. Homework: Identify three actions you will take to excite, cherish, and enhance your soul.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In myth and legend, pregnancies don’t always begin with two humans having sexual communion. The well-known story of the Virgin Mary tells us she was impregnated when the Holy Spirit, disguised as a dove, whispered in her ear. The Roman goddess Juno conceived her son Mars solely with the help of an enchanted lily flower. The Greek hero Attis germinated inside his virgin mother Nana after she placed a pomegranate in her lap. This might sound outlandish, but I foresee you having a metaphorically comparable experience. Do you believe in the possibility of being fertilized by miraculous magic or a divine spirit? Might you be dramatically awakened or inspired by a very subtle influence? I think it will happen even if you don’t believe.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Sagittarian computer scientist Grace Hopper (1906–1992) wrote, “The most damaging phrase in the language is: ‘It’s always been done that way.’” I will expand on that wisdom. The most obvious meaning is that we risk ignoring our individualized needs and suppressing our creative inspirations if we mindlessly conform to the habits of society. But it’s equally important not to mindlessly repeat our own long-standing ways of doing things. Maybe they were brilliant and appropriate in the past, but there’s no guarantee they will always be so. In conclusion, Sagittarius, I recommend you rebel against your own personal “it’s always been done that way” as well as everyone else’s.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Being in love is as desirable for you Capricorns as it is for everyone else. You may be less open and dramatic than the rest of us in expressing your yearnings, but they are still a driving force. Here’s an important point: Even if you are not constantly chattering to others about your urges to give and receive intimate care, it’s crucial that you acknowledge them to yourself. To keep your soul healthy, you must be in close touch with this core fuel. You must love your need for love. Now is an excellent time to deepen your appreciation for these truths.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): It’s the fifth annual Brag Therapy Holiday — for you Aquarians only. During this celebration, we expect you — indeed we want you — to boast with panache. Tell us all in exquisite detail why you are such a marvelous creation. Explain how you have overcome seemingly insurmountable odds to transform yourself into a masterpiece of intuitive intelligence. Regale us with stories of your winsome qualities, your heroic triumphs, and your hilarious and poignant adventures on the edge of reality. Make sure we understand how educational and healing it can be to bask in your influence. Show us why we should regard you as a role model.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): I invite you to resolve old business, draw unrewarding projects to a close, and finish your lessons at the School of Tough Love. You don’t have to carry out my next proposal, but if you do, I will be glad: Politely and quietly scream, “Get out of my life” at anyone who doesn’t give you the respect and kindness you deserve. I also recommend that you do a Wrap-It-Up Ritual. Start by making an altar that pleases you with its beauty. Take scraps of paper and write on each one a description of an influence or experience you want to purge from your life. As you rip each scrap into bits, say this: “I’m grateful for what I have learned from you, but now I am leaving you behind.”