Author: Rob Brezsny

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Astrology Fun Stuff

Free Will Astrology: Week of 12/14/23

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ARIES (March 21-April 19): In 1849, Harriet Tubman escaped from enslavement on a plantation in Maryland. She could have enjoyed her new freedom in peace, but instead resolved to liberate others. During 13 bold forays into enemy territory, she rescued 70 enslaved people and ushered them to safety. She testified that she relied on her dreams and visions to help her carry out her heroic acts. They revealed to her the best escape routes to take, the best times to proceed, and information about how to avoid the fiendish “slave catchers.” In alignment with astrological omens, I invite you to be like Tubman and seek practical guidance from your dreams in the coming weeks — to solve problems or seek bliss.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Jack Nicholson has often played mavericks and antiheroes in his movies. His life away from the silver screen has also been less than steady and predictable. For example, he has fathered six children with five different women. His fellow actor, Carrie Fisher, said Jack was “fun because he doesn’t make sense.” A person with casual knowledge of astrology might be surprised that Nicholson is a Taurus. Your tribe isn’t typically renowned for high eccentricity. But in his natal chart, Nicholson has the brash planet Uranus near his sun in Taurus, indicating he’s quirky. Aside from that, I have known plenty of Tauruses whose commitment to being uniquely themselves makes them idiosyncratic. These themes will be in play for you during the coming weeks. (PS: Taurus musician David Byrne starred in the concert film, Stop Making Sense.)

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The platitude says that if life gives us lemons, we should make lemonade. I’ve got a variation on this theme. Consider the Neva River in northwestern Russia. It freezes every winter. During the frigid months of 1739-1740, Empress Anna Ioannovna ordered her workers to cut huge blocks of ice and use them to construct a magnificent palace on the riverbank. She filled the place with furniture and art, making it a hub of festivities celebrating Russia’s triumph over the Ottoman Empire. I bring these themes to your attention, Gemini, because I suspect that in the coming weeks, you will have substantial redemptive power. Whether you make lemonade from lemons or a palace from a frozen river is up to you.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): “If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy,” wrote Cancerian author E. B. White. “If it were merely challenging, that would be no problem. But I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.” According to my astrological analysis, your fate in recent weeks has been more challenging than seductive. You’ve been pressed to work on dilemmas and make adjustments more than you might like. But this rhythm is about to change. Up ahead, life is seductive, welcoming, and appealing. Are you prepared to drop any unconscious attachment you have to your interesting discomfort so you can smoothly make the transition to more ease?

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): I want to prepare you for the delights of the coming days. I want to make sure you are fully alert for them and primed to appreciate them. So I give you the thoughts of Leo psychologist Carl Jung. “It is important to have a secret, a premonition of things unknown,” he said. “We must sense that we live in a mysterious world — that things happen and can be experienced that remain inexplicable; that not everything can be anticipated; that the unexpected and incredible belong in this world. Only then is life whole.”

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Have you taken a refreshing break lately? Maybe even a soothing sabbatical? Have you treated yourself to a respite from the gritty grind? If not, please do so soon. And while you are recharging your psychic batteries, I ask you to give your fantasy life ample room to wander wildly and freely. In my astrological opinion, your imagination needs to be fed and fed with gourmet food for thought. For the sake of your soul’s health, I hope you dream up fantastic, unruly, even outrageous possibilities.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): My Uncle Ned advised me, “The best gift you can compel your ego to accept is to make it your servant instead of your master.” An early Buddhist teacher sounded a related theme when she told me, “The best things in life are most likely to come your way if you periodically shed all hope and practice being completely empty.” The girlfriend I had when I was 23 confided, “You may get more enjoyment from the witty ways I confound you if you don’t try to understand them.” I offer these three ideas to you, Libra, because you’re in a phase when the moral of your story is that there is no apparent moral to your story — at least until you surrender your notions of what the moral of your story is.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): I believe you Scorpios are the zodiac sign mostly likely to benefit from being empathetic. By that I mean you have substantial power to thrive by reading other people’s moods and feelings. You are often able to figure out angles that enable you to gather what you want while helping others to gather what they want. You are potentially a genius at doing what’s best for everyone and getting paid and rewarded for it. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, this knack of yours will soon be operating at peak levels.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Egyptian Pharaoh Tutankhamun died over 3,300 years ago. When his mournful entourage placed him in his tomb, the treasures they left included a pot of honey, which was meant to sweeten his travels in the afterlife. In the early 20th century, archaeologists excavated the ancient site. They dared to sample the honey, finding it as tasty and fresh as if it had just been made. Amazingly, this same longevity is a characteristic of most honey. I propose we use this as a metaphor for your life. What old resources or experiences from your past might be as pure and nurturing as they were originally? And now could they be of value now?

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Screenwriter John Patrick Shanley writes, “Life holds its miracles, good erupting from darkness chief among them.” I predict a comparable miracle for you, Capricorn, though I suspect it will arise out of confusion or inertia rather than darkness. My advice: Don’t be so bogged down in the muddle that you miss the signs that a great awakening is nigh. Start rehearsing how you will feel when deliverance arrives.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Before he reached the height of fame as a novelist, Aquarian Charles Dickens experienced financial instability. When he was 31, the situation got desperate, and he resolved to take extreme measures. For six weeks, beginning in October 1843, he obsessively worked on writing the story A Christmas Carol. It was published on December 19th and sold out in a few days. Within a year, 13 editions were released. Dicken’s economic worries were over. Dear Aquarius, I think the near future will be a favorable time for you, too, to take dramatic, focused action to fix a problem you’re having.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Many religious people believe God can hear their prayers and intervene in worldly affairs. Other religious folks think God can hear their prayers but may not intervene. Then there are the nonreligious folks who don’t believe in God and think praying is useless. Wherever you might be on the spectrum, Pisces, I’m pleased to reveal that you will have extra access to support and benefaction in the coming weeks — whether that’s from God, fate, nature, or other humans. So seek out blessings and assistance with alacrity. Be receptive to all potential helpers, even unlikely ones.

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Astrology Fun Stuff

Free Will Astrology: Week of 12/07/23

Dario Bronnimann | Unsplash

ARIES (March 21-April 19): I will cheer you on as you tenderly push yourself to be extra exploratory in the coming weeks. It’s exciting that you are contemplating adventures that might lead you to wild frontiers and half-forbidden zones. The chances are good that you will provoke uncanny inspirations and attract generous lessons. Go higher and deeper and further, dear Aries. Track down secret treasures and lyrical unpredictability. Experiment with the concept of holy rebellion.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In January, I will tempt you to be a spirited adventurer who undertakes smart risks. I will invite you to consider venturing into unknown territory and expanding the scope of your education. But right now, I advise you to address your precious needs for stability and security. I encourage you to take extra good care of your comfort zone and even add cozy new features to it. Here’s a suggestion: Grab a pen and paper, or open a new file on your favorite device, then compose a list of everything you can do to feel exceedingly safe and supported.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Booker T. Washington (1856–1915) was an American Black leader who advocated a gradual, incremental approach to fighting the effects of racism. Hard work and good education were the cornerstones of his policies. Then there was W. E. B. Dubois (1868–1963). He was an American Black leader who encouraged a more aggressive plan of action. Protest, agitation, pressure, and relentless demands for equal rights were core principles in his philosophy. In the coming months, I recommend a blend of these attitudes for you. You’ve got two big jobs: to improve the world you live in and get all the benefits you need and deserve from it.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): I periodically get a big jolt of feeling how much I don’t know. I am overwhelmed with the understanding of how meager my understanding of life really is. On the one hand, this is deflating to my ego. On the other hand, it’s wildly refreshing. I feel a liberating rush of relief to acknowledge that I am so far from being perfect and complete that there’s no need for me to worry about trying to be perfect or complete. I heartily recommend this meditation to you, fellow Cancerian. From an astrological perspective, now is a favorable time to thrive on fertile emptiness.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Have you reached your full height? If there were ever a time during your adult life when you would literally get taller, it might be in the coming weeks. And that’s not the only kind of growth spurt that may occur. Your hair and fingernails may lengthen faster than usual. I wouldn’t be shocked if your breasts or penis got bigger. But even more importantly, I suspect your healthy brain cells will multiply at a brisk pace. Your ability to understand how the world really works will flourish. You will have an increased flair for thinking creatively.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I like Virgo author Cheryl Strayed’s thoughts about genuine togetherness. She says, “True intimacy isn’t a cluster fuck or a psychodrama. It isn’t the highest highs and lowest lows. It’s a tiny bit of those things on occasion, with a whole lot of everything else in between. It’s communion and mellow compatibility. It’s friendship and mutual respect.” I also like Virgo author Sam Keen’s views on togetherness. He says, “At the heart of sex is something intrinsically spiritual, the desire for a union so primal it can be called divine.” Let’s make those two perspectives your guideposts in the coming weeks, Virgo.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): According to my interpretation of your astrological prospects, you now have the capacity to accelerate quickly and slow down smoothly, to exult in idealistic visions and hunker down in pragmatic action, to balance exuberant generosity with careful discernment — and vice versa. In general, Libra, you have an extraordinary ability to shift moods and modes with graceful effectiveness — as well as a finely honed sense of when each mood and mode is exactly right for the situation you’re in. I won’t be surprised if you accomplish well-balanced miracles.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Dear Goddess — Thank you a trillion times for never fulfilling those prayers I sent your way all those years ago. Remember? When I begged and pleaded with you to get me into a sexy love relationship with You Know Who? I am so lucky, so glad, that you rejected my prayers. Though I didn’t see it then, I now realize that being in an intimate weave with her would have turned out badly for both her and me. You were so wise to deny me that misguided quest for “pleasure.” Now dear Goddess, I am asking you to perform a similar service for any Scorpio readers who may be beseeching you to provide them with experiences they will ultimately be better off without.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Among our most impressive superpowers is the potency to transform ourselves in alignment with our conscious intentions. For example, suppose you feel awkward because you made an insensitive comment to a friend. In that case, you can take action to assuage any hurt feelings you caused and thereby dissolve your awkwardness. Or let’s say you no longer want to be closely connected to people who believe their freedom is more important than everyone else’s freedom. With a clear vision and a bolt of willpower, you can do what it takes to create that shift. These are acts of true magic — as wizardly as any occult ritual. I believe you will have extra access to this superpower in the coming weeks. Homework: Identify three situations or feelings you will use your magic to change.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The eminent Capricorn philosopher William James (1842–1910) is referred to as the “Father of American Psychology.” He was a brilliant thinker who excelled in the arts of logic and reason. Yet he had a fundamental understanding that reason and logic were not the only valid kinds of intelligence. He wrote, “Rational consciousness is but one special type of consciousness, whilst all about it, parted from it by the filmiest of screens, there lie potential forms of consciousness entirely different.” This quote appears in his book The Varieties of Religious Experience. In accordance with astrological omens, I invite you to investigate those other types of consciousness in the coming months. You don’t need drugs to do so. Simply state your intention that you want to. Other spurs: dreamwork, soulful sex, dancing, meditation, nature walks, deep conversations.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Are people sometimes jealous or judgmental toward you for being so adept at multi-tasking? Are you weary of dawdlers urging you not to move, talk, and mutate so quickly? Do you fantasize about having more cohorts who could join you in your darting, daring leaps of logic? If you answered yes to these questions, I expect you will soon experience an enjoyable pivot. Your quick-change skills will be appreciated and rewarded more than usual. You will thrive while invoking the spiritual power of unpredictability.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Romantic relationships take work if you want them to remain vigorous and authentic. So do friendships. The factors that brought you together in the first place may not be enough to keep you bonded forever. Both of you change and grow, and there’s no guarantee your souls will continue to love being interwoven. If disappointment creeps into your alliance, it’s usually wise to address the issues head-on as you try to reconfigure your connection. It’s not always feasible or desirable, though. I still feel sad about the friend I banished when I discovered he was racist and had hidden it from me. I hope these ruminations inspire you to give your friendships a lot of quality attention in 2024. It will be an excellent time to lift the best ones up to a higher octave.

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Astrology Fun Stuff

Free Will Astrology: Week of 11/30/23

Dario Bronnimann | Unsplash

ARIES (March 21-April 19): As a child, I loved to go to a meadow and whirl around in spirals until I got so dizzy, I fell. As I lay on the ground, the earth, sky, and sun reeled madly, and I was no longer just a pinpoint of awareness lodged inside my body, but was an ecstatically undulating swirl in the kaleidoscopic web of life. Now, years later, I’ve discovered many of us love spinning. Scientists postulate humans have a desire for the intoxicating vertigo it brings. I would never recommend you do what I did as a kid; it could be dangerous for some of you. But if it’s safe and the spirit moves you, do it! Or at least imagine yourself doing it. Do you know about the Sufi Whirling Dervishes who use spinning as a meditation? Read here: tinyurl.com/JoyOfWhirling and tinyurl.com/SufiSpinning

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Your power creature in the coming weeks will not be an eagle, wolf, bear, or salmon. I don’t advise you to dream of being a wild horse, tiger, or crocodile. Instead, I invite you to cultivate a deep bond with the mushroom family. Why? Now is a favorable time to be like the mushrooms that keep the earth fresh. In wooded areas, they eat away dead trees and leaves, preventing larger and larger heaps of compost from piling up. They keep the soil healthy and make nutrients available for growing things. Be like those mushrooms, Taurus. Steadily and relentlessly rid your world of the defunct and decaying parts — thereby stimulating fertility.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Gemini novelist Geraldine McCaughrean wrote, “Maybe courage is like memory — a muscle that needs exercise to get strong. So I decided that maybe if I started in a small way, I could gradually work my way up to being brave.” That is an excellent prescription for you: the slow, incremental approach to becoming bolder and pluckier. For best results, begin practicing on mild risks and mellow adventures. Week by week, month by month, increase the audacious beauty of your schemes and the intensity of your spunk and fortitude. By mid-2024, you will be ready to launch a daring project.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Cancerian neurologist and author Oliver Sacks worked with people who had unusual neurological issues. His surprising conclusion: “Defects, disorders, and diseases can play a paradoxical role, by bringing out latent powers, developments, and evolutions that might never be seen in their absence.” In not all cases, but more often than seemed reasonable, he found that disorders could be regarded as creative — “for if they destroy particular paths, particular ways of doing things, they may force unexpected growth.” Your assignment is to meditate on how the events of your life might exemplify the principle Sacks marvels at: apparent limitations leading to breakthroughs and bonanzas.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): I am falling in love with how deeply you are falling in love with new ways of seeing and understanding yourself. My heart sings as I listen to your heart singing in response to new attractions. Keep it up, Leo! You are having an excellent influence on me. My dormant potentials and drowsy passions are stirring as I behold you waking up and coaxing out your dormant potentials and drowsy passions. Thank you, dear!

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Virgo journalist Sydney J. Harris offered advice I suggest you meditate on. He wrote, “Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.” I bring this to your attention because now is a favorable time to take action on things you have not yet done — and should do. If you put definitive plans in motion soon, you will ensure that regret won’t come calling in five years. (PS: Amazingly, it’s also an excellent time to dissolve regret you feel for an iffy move you made in the past.)

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In contrast to false stereotypes, Medieval Europeans were not dirty and unhygienic. They made soap and loved to bathe. Another bogus myth says the people of the Middle Ages believed the Earth was flat. But the truth was that most educated folks knew it was round. And it’s questionable to refer to this historical period as backward, since it brought innovations like mechanical timekeepers, moveable type, accurate maps, the heavy plow, and illuminated manuscripts. In this spirit, and in accordance with astrological omens, I invite you to strip away misconceptions and celebrate actual facts in your own sphere. Be a scrupulous revealer, a conscientious and meticulous truth-teller.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Scorpio poet John Berryman said, “To grow, we must travel in the direction of our fears.” Yikes! I personally wouldn’t want to do that kind of growth all the time. I prefer traveling cheerfully in the direction of my hopes and dreams. But then I’m not a Scorpio. Maybe Berryman’s strategy for fulfilling one’s best destiny is a Scorpio superpower. What do you think? One thing I know for sure is that the coming weeks will be an excellent time to reevaluate and reinvent your relationship with your fears. I suggest you approach the subject with a beginner’s mind. Empty yourself of all your previous ideas and be open to healing new revelations.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Sagittarian poet Nina Cassian said, “I promise to make you so alive that the fall of dust on furniture will deafen you.” I think she meant she would fully awaken the senses of her readers. She would boost our capacity for enchantment and entice us to feel interesting emotions we had never experienced. As we communed with her beautiful self-expression, we might even reconfigure our understanding of who we are and what life is about. I am pleased to tell you, Sagittarius, that even if you’re not a writer, you now have an enhanced ability to perform these same services — both for yourself and for others.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “Sometimes I get lonesome for a storm,” says Capricorn singer-songwriter Joan Baez. “A full-blown storm where everything changes.” That approach has worked well for her. At age 82, she has released 30 albums and is a member of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. She has recorded songs in eight languages and has been honored by Amnesty International for her work on behalf of human rights. If you’re feeling resilient — which I think you are — I recommend that you, too, get lonesome for a storm. Your life could use some rearrangement. If you’re not feeling wildly bold and strong, maybe ask the gods for a mild squall.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Science educator Neil deGrasse Tyson tells us that water molecules we drink have “passed through the kidneys of Socrates, Genghis Khan, and Joan of Arc.” The same prodigious truth applies to the air we breathe: It has “passed through the lungs of Napoleon, Beethoven, and Abraham Lincoln.” Tyson would have also been accurate if he said we have shared water and air that has been inside the bodies of virtually every creature who has ever lived. I bring these facts to your attention, Aquarius, in the hope of inspiring you to deepen your sense of connectedness to other beings. Now is an excellent time to intensify your feelings of kinship with the web of life. Here’s the practical value of doing that: You will attract more help and support into your life.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): I am saying a prayer for you. I pray to the Fates that you will not accept lazy or careless efforts from others. You won’t allow their politeness to be a cover-up for manipulativeness. I also pray that you will cultivate high expectations for yourself. You won’t be an obsessive perfectionist, but will be devoted to excellence. All your actions will be infused with high integrity. You will conscientiously attend to every detail with the faith that you are planting seeds that will bloom beautifully in the future.

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Astrology Fun Stuff

Free Will Astrology: Week of 11/23/23

Dario Bronnimann | Unsplash

ARIES (March 21-April 19): When we experience authentic awe, our humility deepens. This is turn tends to make us kinder, smarter, and more positive. So how can we stimulate awe? Among the many possible ways are gazing at magnificent art, hiking in a natural wonderland, or being in the presence of a beautiful human soul. In accordance with astrological omens, I recommend that you go in quest of awe and related feelings like reverence, amazement, adoration, and veneration. Your mental, physical, and spiritual health will flourish in response.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): It’s the Season for Cherishing and Smoking Out Secrets. So let’s talk about the subject. 1. Some secrets are sad, haunting, even risky — and worth keeping secret. 2. Other secrets can be beautiful, healing, and potentially life-changing if they are revealed gracefully. 3. Some secrets are buried so deeply that only very persistent seekers dig them up. 4. Some secrets are “hidden” in plain view, and only visible to people who are clear and brave enough to identify them. I suspect you Tauruses will have a special knack for managing all types of secrets in the coming weeks, including those I mentioned.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I hope you won’t fill yourself up with appetizers and hors d’oeuvres in the coming weeks, Gemini. My soul will be at peace if I see you save your hunger for the main courses. Your motto should be “Feasts, not snacks!” or “The Real Deal, not the pretenders!” or “The jubilee, not the distractions!” If you ever find yourself feeling halfhearted or inattentive, you’re probably not in the right situation. Here’s an affirmation to go with your mottoes: “I am liberating my divine appetite!”

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Playwright Anton Chekhov (1860–1904) is regarded as one of history’s great writers. That does not mean everything he said was wise, useful, or worthy of our attention. For example, he was once asked to give his opinion about ballet. “During the intermissions, the ballerinas stink like horses,” he replied. I hesitate to bring up such a vulgar reference, but I wanted to make a vivid point. In the coming weeks, I hope you will ignore the advice of people who don’t know what they are talking about, no matter how smart or charismatic they may be. I hope you will not attribute expertise to those who have no such expertise. I hope that as much as possible, you will rely on first-hand information, rigorous research, and reliable influences.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Researchers have determined that there are two basic dispositions among tigers. One is what they call “majesty.” Creatures with this orientation tend to be dignified, imposing, and agile. The other type of tiger personality revolves around “steadiness.” This is the opposite of neuroticism, and includes the qualities of being affable, easy to get along with, and well-adjusted. I know many astrologers associate lions with you Leos, but I prefer to link you with tigers. If you agree with me, here’s my prediction: You are beginning a phase when you will be more majestic than steady — but with plenty of steadiness also available if you want it.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “It is better to entertain an idea than to take it home to live with you for the rest of your life,” wrote author Randall Jarrell. That’s decent advice, though I will add a caveat. If you entertain an idea for a while and it turns out that you love it, and you also love the beneficent effect it has on you, you may be smart to take it home to live with you. I’m guessing you Virgos are at a pivotal point in this regard. Not yet, but soon, you will know whether it will be wise to get cozier with certain influences you have been flirting with — or else decide they are not ones you want to keep.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): If I could give an award for Most Curious Genius in the World, it would be to Libran author and naturalist Diane Ackerman. She would also get my prize for Most Voracious Learner and Best Questioner and Most Exuberant Seeker and Searcher. “To hear the melody,” she writes, “we must hear all the notes.” In response to the question, “What is life?” she offers this answer: “corsages and dust mites and alligator skin and tree-frog serenades and foreskins and blue hydrangeas and banana slugs and war dances and cedar chips and bombardier beetles.” In accordance with current astrological omens, I encourage you to be like Diane Ackerman in the coming weeks.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Have you located any of your soul twins? If not, is that an interesting prospect for you? Please note that soul twins are not necessarily the same as dream lovers. They may simply be people with whom you share deep values and perspectives. They might aspire to influence the world in ways similar to you. With a soul twin, you feel at home in the world and extra happy to be yourself. I bring these meditations to your attention, Scorpio, because the coming months will be an especially likely time for you to encounter and engage with soul twins. Be on the alert!

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Composer Ludwig van Beethoven (1770–1827) was charismatic and forceful, but also hot-tempered and prone to rude behavior. The writer Goethe, his contemporary, said “his talent amazed me,” and described him as an “utterly untamed personality.” Beethoven seldom lived in one home for very long and loved to sing at the top of his lungs as he washed himself. Although he played piano with exquisite skill, he was quite clumsy as he moved through the world. Can you guess what astrological sign he was? Same as you! Sagittarius! I’m not saying you are exactly like this wild, unruly genius, but you do have tendencies in that direction. And in the coming weeks, I expect you’ll be inclined to be more Beethoven-esque than usual. Please work on emphasizing the winsome aspects.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): I hope you have developed good boundaries, Capricorn. I hope you are so skilled at taking care of yourself that you steadfastly refuse to let people manipulate you or hurt you. Just to make sure your discernment is working at peak levels, though, I will offer you a tip. In the English language, we have the idiom “to rub salt in a wound,” which refers to the fact that daubing salt in an open gash in the skin makes the pain even worse. But did you know that smearing sugar in a wound is equally distressing? The metaphorical lesson is that you should be vigilant for seemingly nice, sweet people who might also violate your boundaries to hurt or manipulate you.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): I estimate this horoscope is worth $22,225. It has been made possible by my many years of disciplined meditations, extensive reading of holy texts, and an ever-growing devotion to astrology and my readers. But here’s the fun part: You can read these words for free! No cost at all! I will, however, ask you to do something for me in return. First, give your gifts joyously and generously in the coming weeks, holding nothing back. Second, don’t be in the least concerned about whether you will receive benefits in return for your gifts. Find the sweet spot where you love bestowing blessings for no other reason except this one: You are expressing your gratitude for the miraculous life you have been given.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Do you possess gambits, tactics, and knacks that we might refer to as your “bag of tricks”? I hope so because such an asset will be extra valuable during the coming weeks. You will be wise to employ every cagey move you can imagine and call on every favor that’s owed to you and cash in on every advantage you have accrued. I don’t want you to engage in outright cheating, but I encourage you to use ploys and stratagems that have full integrity. Be on the lookout for secret shortcuts, magic cookies, and wild cards.

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Astrology Fun Stuff

Free Will Astrology: Week of 11/16/23

Dario Bronnimann | Unsplash

ARIES (March 21-April 19): In accordance with astrological omens, I would love you to experiment with blending the sacred and mundane. Bring your deep self into the daily routine and imbue ordinary rhythms with tender care. Here are a few fun rituals to get you in the groove: 1. Say prayers or chant ecstatic poems while you’re shopping. 2. Build a shrine in a parking lot. 3. Stir up an inspired epiphany while doing housework. 4. If you find yourself in a confusing or awkward situation, dance like a holy person to conjure a blessing. 5. Commune with the Divine Creator during crazy-good sex.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): I’ve met many people who feel their love lives are jinxed. Often, they believe this nonsense because a creepy fortune teller declared they will forever be denied a satisfying intimate relationship. I hate that! Any astrologer who delivers such crippling bewitchments should be outed as a charlatan. The good news for you, Taurus, is that you are in a grace period for all matters regarding romance, intimacy, and togetherness. If you have ever worried there is a curse, obstruction, or bad habit inhibiting your love life, the coming weeks will be a favorable time to free yourself from it.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Gemini comedian Drew Carey says, “If I didn’t run from my fears, I wouldn’t get any exercise at all.” Let’s discuss his approach in relation to you. After analyzing the astrological omens, I believe that as 2023 draws to a close and 2024 unfolds, you will feel less and less motivated to run from your fears. In part, that’s because you will face them with more courage and poise; they won’t have the same power over you. In addition, I suspect your fears will become objectively less scary. They will be less likely to come to pass. More and more, your fine mind will see how they trick you into imagining they’re more threatening than they truly are. Congratulations in advance, Gemini!

CANCER (June 21-July 22): I would love to see you intensify your devotion to your masterpiece — however you understand “masterpiece.” It could be a work of art or an innovation in your job or business. It could be a new baby, an adopted pet, a redefinition of what family means, or an invigorated community. Might even be a beautiful alliance or enhanced connection with the divine or a refinement of the best gift you give the world. Life will conspire to help you in unexpected ways during the coming months if you rededicate yourself to this treasure.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Dear Sun, our one and only star: We love you and appreciate you! It’s amazing that you consume five million tons of yourself every second to generate the colossal energy you send in our direction. Thank you, beloved Sun! Is it okay with you if we think of you as a god? You are a superpowered genius of nourishment! And by the way, do you know who adores you the best? I’ll tell you: The Leo people here on Earth. They comprehend your grandeur and majesty better than anyone else. Would you consider giving them extra rewards in the coming weeks? They need and deserve a massive delivery of your bounty. Please fill them up with even more charisma, personal magnetism, vitality, and generosity of spirit than usual. I promise they will use it wisely.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Virgo musician and actor Shirley Manson has a message for you. She testifies, “I say embrace the total geek in yourself and just enjoy it. Life is too short to be cool.” This will be especially helpful and inspirational counsel for you in the coming months, dear Virgo. The wish to appear chic or trendy or hip should be so far down on your list of priorities that it drops off the list entirely. Your assignment is to be passionately devoted to your deepest truths, unique desires, and imaginative experiments.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): If you’re given a choice to advocate for either a dull, mediocre truth or a beautiful, invigorating truth, give your love to the latter. If you wonder whether you should ask a polite question that engenders harmony or a provocative question that pries loose agendas that have been half hidden, opt for the latter. If you feel nostalgic about an old tradition that stirs up little passion or fresh insight, let it go. Instead, dream up a new tradition that moves you emotionally and excites your mind.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Icelandic singer Björk is a triple Scorpio, with sun, moon, and ascendant in your sign. Neptune is there, too, giving her even more Scorpionic intensity. It’s not surprising that she describes her daily practice like this: “I have to re-create the universe every morning when I wake up and kill it in the evening.” In another quote, she places greater emphasis on the rebirth: “To wake up in the morning and actually find the day exciting is the biggest victory you can have.” In accordance with current astrological omens, I invite you to exalt and celebrate the post-resurrection aspects of your life’s work. It’s time for you to shine and sparkle and shimmer and bedazzle.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): At the risk of sounding melodramatic, I prophesy that what has been lost will be found. What was last may not catapult all the way into the first spot, but it might — and will at least be close to the first. Here are more zingers for you as you move into the climactic stages of the Season of Turnarounds and Switcheroos: A difficult test will boost your intelligence; a rut will be disrupted, freeing you to find a smooth new groove; an unsettling twist will ultimately bring you delightful support. To get the best out of the upcoming challenges, Sagittarius, welcome them as opportunities to expand your understanding of how the world works.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Many cultures throughout history have staged rites of passage to mark the transformation from childhood to puberty. In ancient Greece, for example, kids formally relinquished their toys, symbolizing the intention to move into a new phase of their destinies. In accordance with astrological omens, I want to tweak this custom for your use, Capricorn. I propose that you embrace your second childhood. Fantasize about how you might refurbish your innocence, curiosity, playfulness, and spontaneous joy. Then select an object that embodies a burdensome or unpleasant aspect of adulthood. Discard it. Find an object that signifies the fresh young spirit you’d like to awaken within you. Kiss it, sing to it, and keep it in a prominent place.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): For advice about money, I talk with a banker who sometimes analyzes financial trends using tarot cards. To keep abreast of politics on the ground level, I consult with a courtesan who has a Ph.D. in political science and cultivates intimate relations with governmental leaders. For guidance about rowdy ethics and etiquette, I seek input from an activist singer in an all-women punk band. How about you, Aquarius? Now is a favorable time to take an inventory of your posse of teachers, helpers, and counselors. Make sure it’s serving you well and providing maximum inspiration and support. Hot tip: It may be time to add a new facilitator or two to your entourage.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Now and then, you glide through a phase I describe as Freedom from Cosmic Compulsion. During these grace periods, fate has a reduced role in shaping your destiny. Your past doesn’t have its typical power to limit you or entrance you. According to my astrological analysis, you are now enjoying such a chapter. That’s why I predict that an infertile status quo will soon crumble. A boring, inflexible rule will become irrelevant. These and other breakthrough developments will give you extra leeway to innovate and invent. You will have a big, bright emptiness to work and play around in.

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Astrology Fun Stuff

Free Will Astrology: Week of 11/09/23

Dario Bronnimann | Unsplash

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Your victories-in-progress are subtle. They may not be totally visible to you yet. Let me describe them so you can feel properly confident about what you are in the process of accomplishing. 1. A sustained surge of hard-earned personal growth is rendering one of your problems mostly irrelevant. 2. You have been redefining what rewards are meaningful to you, and that’s motivating you to infuse your ambitions with more soulfulness. 3. You are losing interest in a manipulative game that doesn’t serve you as well as it should. 4. You are cultivating more appreciation for fascinating and useful problems.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Taurus physicist Richard Feynman was a smart and accomplished person who won a Nobel Prize. He articulated a perspective that will be healthy for you to experiment with in the coming weeks. He said, “I can live with doubt and uncertainty and not knowing. I think it’s much more interesting not knowing than to have answers which might be wrong. I have approximate answers and possible beliefs and different degrees of certainty about different things, but I’m not absolutely sure of anything, and there are many things I don’t know anything about.” Give Feynman’s approach a try, dear Taurus. Now is an excellent time to explore the perks of questioning everything. I bet you’ll be pleased with how free and easy it makes you feel.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): To earn money, I have worked as a janitor, dishwasher, olive-picker, ditch-digger, newspaper deliverer, and 23 other jobs involving hard labor. In addition, I have done eight artistic jobs better suited to my sensitive temperament and creative talents. Am I regretful or resentful about the thousands of hours I toiled at tasks I didn’t enjoy? A little. But mostly I’m thankful for them. They taught me how to interact harmoniously with a wide array of people. They helped forge my robust social conscience. And they motivated me to eventually figure out how to get jobs I really loved. Now I invite you to take an inventory of your own work life, Gemini. It’s an excellent time to evaluate where you’ve been and where you want to go in the future.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): There are so many kinds of sweetness. Zesty spicy sweetness. Tender balmy fragrant sweetness. Sour or bitter sweetness. Musky piquant sweetness. Luscious succulent sweetness. One of my favorite types of sweetness is described by Cancerian poet Stephen Dunn. He wrote, “Often a sweetness comes as if on loan, stays just long enough to make sense of what it means to be alive, then returns to its dark source. As for me, I don’t care where it’s been, or what bitter road it’s traveled to come so far, to taste so good.” My analysis of the astrological omens suggests to me that you are about to commune with at least three of these sweetnesses, Cancerian. Maybe most of them.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Author Dan Savage advocates regular indulgence in sloth. He notes that few of us can “get through 24 hours without a little downtime. Human beings need to stare off into space, look out the window, daydream, and spend time every day being indolent and useless.” I concur, and I hope you will indulge in more downtime than usual during the coming weeks. For the sake of your long-term mental and physical health, you need to relax extra deep and strong now — to recharge your battery with delicious and delightful abandon.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): According to my deep and thorough analysis of your astrological rhythms, your mouth will soon be a wonder of nature. The words emerging from your lips will be extra colorful, precise, and persuasive. Your taste buds will have an enhanced vividness as they commune with the joys of food and drink. And I suspect your tongue and lips will exult in an upgrade of aptitude and pleasure while plying the arts of sex and intimate love. Congratulations, Mouthy Maestro!

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In addition to being a masterful composer, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (1756–1791) played the piano, violin, harp, bassoon, clarinet, horn, flute, oboe, and trumpet. His experience led him to believe that musicians best express their skills when they play fast. It’s more challenging to be excellent when playing slowly, he thought. But I will invite you to adopt the reverse attitude and approach in the coming weeks, Libra. According to my astrological analysis, you will be most successful if you work gradually and incrementally, with careful diligence and measured craftiness.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In my horoscopes for Scorpios, I tend to write complex messages. My ideas are especially thick and rich and lush. Why? Because I imagine you as being complex, thick, rich, and lush. Your destiny is labyrinthine and mysterious and intriguing, and I aspire to reflect its intricate, tricky beauty. But this time, in accordance with current astrological omens, I will offer you my simplest, most straightforward oracle ever. I borrowed it from author Mary Anne Hershey: “Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Play with abandon. Choose with no regret. Continue to learn. Appreciate your friends. Do what you love.”

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): In her poem “Requiem,” Anna Akhmatova says, “I must kill off memory … and I must learn to live anew.” I think most of us can benefit from periodically engaging in this brave and robust exercise. It’s not a feat to be taken lightly — not to be done more than once or twice a year. But guess what: The coming weeks will be a time when such a ritual might be wise for you. Are you ready to purge old business and prepare the way for a fresh start? Here are your words of power: forgiveness, clearing, cleaning, release, absolution, liberation.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): We need stories almost as much as we need to breathe, eat, sleep, and move. It’s impossible to live without them. The best stories nourish our souls, stimulate our imagination, and make life exciting. That’s not to say that all stories are healthy for us. We sometimes cling to narratives that make us miserable and sap our energy. I think we have a sacred duty to de-emphasize and even jettison those stories — even as we honor and relish the rich stories that empower and inspire us. I bring these thoughts to your attention, Capricorn, because you’re in a phase of your cycle when you will especially thrive by disposing of the bad old stories and celebrating the good ones.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): I could be wrong, but I don’t think so: You are smarter and wiser than you realize about the pressing issues that are now vying for your attention. You know more than you know you know. I suspect this will soon become apparent, as streams of fresh insights rise up from the depths of your psyche and guide your conscious awareness toward clarity. It’s okay to squeal with glee every time a healing intuition shows up. You have earned this welcome phase of lucid certainty.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In Indigenous cultures throughout history, shamans have claimed they have the power to converse with and even temporarily become hawks, coyotes, snakes, and other creatures. Why do they do that? It’s a long story, but one answer is that they believe animals have intelligences that are different from what humans have. The shamans aspire to learn from those alternate ways of seeing and comprehending the world. Many of us who live in Western culture dismiss this venerable practice, although I’ve known animal lovers who sympathize with it. If you are game for a fun experiment, Pisces, I invite you to try your own version. Choose an animal to learn from. Study and commune with it. Ask it to reveal intuitions that surprise and enrich you.

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Astrology Fun Stuff

Free Will Astrology: Week of 11/02/23

Dario Bronnimann | Unsplash

ARIES (March 21-April 19): “Our bodies sometimes serve as the symbolic ground where order and disorder fight for supremacy,” writes storyteller Caroline Kettlewell. Here’s good news, Aries: For you, order will triumph over disorder in the coming weeks. In part through your willpower and in part through life’s grace, you will tame the forces of chaos and enjoy a phase when most everything makes sense. I don’t mean you will have zero problems, but I suspect you will have an enhanced power to solve problems. Your mind and heart will coordinate their efforts with exceptional flair.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): I recently endured a three-hour root canal. Terrible and unfortunate, right? No! Because it brought profound joy. The endodontist gave me nitrous oxide, and the resulting euphoria unleashed a wild epiphany. For the duration of the surgery, I had vivid visions of all the people in my life who love me. I felt their care. I was overwhelmed with the kindness they felt for me. Never before had I been blessed with such a blissful gift. Now, in accordance with your astrological omens, I invite you to induce a similar experience — no nitrous oxide needed. It’s a perfect time to meditate on how well you are appreciated and needed and cherished.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Unless you are very unusual, you don’t sew your clothes or grow your food. You didn’t build your house, make your furniture, or forge your cooking utensils. Like most of us, you know little about how water and electricity arrive for your use. Do you have any notion of what your grandparents were doing when they were your age? Have you said a prayer of gratitude recently for the people who have given you so much? I don’t mean to put you on the spot with my questions, Gemini. I’m merely hoping to inspire you to get into closer connection with everything that nourishes and sustains you. Honor the sources of your energy. Pay homage to your foundations.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Cancerian singer-songwriter Suzanne Vega has had a modest but sustained career. With nine albums, she has sold over three million records, but is not in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. She has said, “I always thought that if I were popular, I must be doing something wrong.” I interpret that to mean she has sought to remain faithful to her idiosyncratic creativity and not pay homage to formulaic success. But here’s the good news for you in the coming months, fellow Cancerian: You can be more appreciated than ever before simply by being true to your soul’s inclinations and urges.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “Everything in the world has a hidden meaning,” wrote Greek author Nikos Kazantzakis. Did he really mean everything? Your dream last night, your taste in shoes, your favorite TV show, the way you laugh? As a fun experiment, let’s say that yes, everything has a hidden meaning. Let’s also hypothesize that the current astrological omens suggest you now have a special talent for discerning veiled and camouflaged truths. We will further propose that you have an extraordinary power to penetrate beyond surface appearances and home in on previously unknown and invisible realities. Do you have the courage and determination to go deeper than you have ever dared? I believe you do.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): How many glowworms would have to gather in one location to make a light as bright as the sun? Probably over a trillion. And how many ants would be required to carry away a 15-pound basket of food? I’m guessing over 90,000. Luckily for you, the cumulative small efforts you need to perform so as to accomplish big breakthroughs won’t be nearly that high a number. For instance, you may be able to take a quantum leap after just six baby steps.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In the 17th century, John Milton wrote a long narrative poem titled Paradise Lost. I’ve never read it and am conflicted about the prospect of doing so. On one hand, I feel I should engage with a work that has had such a potent influence on Western philosophy and literature. On the other hand, I’m barely interested in Milton’s story, which includes boring conversations between God and Satan and the dreary tale of how God cruelly exiled humans from paradise because the first man, Adam, was mildly rebellious. So what should I do? I’ve decided to read the Cliffs Notes study guide about Paradise Lost, a brief summary of the story. In accordance with astrological omens, I suggest you call on similar shortcuts, Libra. Here’s your motto: if you can’t do the completely right thing, try the partially right thing.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Who would have guessed that elephants can play the drums really well? On a trip to Thailand, Scorpio musician Dave Soldier discovered that if given sticks and drums, some elephants kept a steadier beat than humans. A few were so talented that Soldier recorded their rhythms and played them for a music critic who couldn’t tell they were created by animals. In accordance with astrological omens, I propose that you Scorpios seek out comparable amazements. You now have the potential to make unprecedented discoveries.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Sagittarian novelist Shirley Jackson wrote, “No live organism can continue for long to exist under conditions of absolute reality; even larks and katydids dream.” Since she wrote that, scientists have gathered evidence that almost all animals dream and that dreaming originated at least 300 million years ago. With that as our inspiration and in accordance with astrological omens, I urge you to enjoy an intense period of tapping into your dreams. To do so will help you escape from absolute reality. It will also improve your physical and mental health and give you unexpected clues about how to solve problems.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Capricorn writer Kahlil Gibran believed an essential human longing is to be revealed. We all want the light in us to be taken out of its hiding place and shown. If his idea is true about you, you will experience major cascades of gratification in the coming months. I believe you will be extra expressive. And you will encounter more people than ever before who are interested in knowing what you have to express. To prepare for the probable breakthroughs, investigate whether you harbor any fears or inhibitions about being revealed — and dissolve them.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): November is Build Up Your Confidence Month. In the coming weeks, you are authorized to snag easy victories as you steadily bolster your courage to seek bigger, bolder triumphs. As much as possible, put yourself in the vicinity of people who respect you and like you. If you suspect you have secret admirers, encourage them to be less secretive. Do you have plaques, medals, or trophies? Display them prominently. Or visit a trophy store and have new awards made for you to commemorate your unique skills — like thinking wild thoughts, pulling off one-of-a-kind adventures, and inspiring your friends to rebel against their habits.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): I’m glad we have an abundance of teachers helping us learn how to be here now — to focus on the present moment with gratitude and grace. I love the fact that books on the art of mindfulness are now almost as common as books about cats and cooking. Yay! But I also want to advocate for the importance of letting our minds wander freely. We need to celebrate the value and power of NOT always being narrowly zeroed in on the here and now. We can’t make intelligent decisions unless we ruminate about what has happened in the past and what might occur in the future. Meandering around in fantasyland is key to discovering new insights. Imaginative ruminating is central to the creative process. Now please give your mind the privilege of wandering far and wide in the coming weeks, Pisces.

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Astrology Fun Stuff

Free Will Astrology: Week of 10/26/23

Dario Bronnimann | Unsplash

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Shadow work is a psychological practice that has been deeply healing for me. It involves exploring the dark places in my soul and being in intimate contact with my unripe and wounded aspects. Engaging in this hard labor ensures that my less beautiful qualities never take control of me and never spill out into toxic interactions with people. I bring this up, Aries, because the coming weeks will be a favorable time for you to do shadow work. Halloween costume suggestion: Be your shadow, demon, or unripe self.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The country where I live, the U.S., has banned over 2,500 books in recent years. I’m appalled by the ignorance that fuels this idiotic despotism. But there has been an amusing consequence, which I am pleased to report: Banning the books has sometimes hiked their sales. Gender Queer by Maia Kobabe had a 130 percent increase. Art Spiegelman’s Maus and Maus II jumped 50 percent. Let this scenario serve as an inspirational metaphor for you in the coming weeks. If any person or institution tries to repress, deny, or resist you, do what you’re doing even bigger and better. Use their opposition as a power boost. Halloween costume suggestion: rebel, dissident, or protestor.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Do you ever feel you are treated unfairly at your job? Is your workplace sometimes detrimental to your health? Is it possible that a few small changes could add up to a big improvement in how you feel while you’re earning a living? There’s rarely a perfect moment to address these concerns, but the coming weeks will be a more favorable time than usual. If you decide to seek shifts, devise a strategy that’s as foolproof as possible. Resolve to be calm, poised, and unflusterable. Halloween costume suggestion: a worker doing your ideal job.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Cancerian comedian Dave Barry says that as he grows older, he looks forward to “continued immaturity.” That sentiment is probably based on the fact that his humor is often juvenile and silly. (I like it, though!) I’m guessing it’s also because he aspires to remain youthful and innocent and surprisable as he ages. I mention this, fellow Cancerian, because the coming weeks will be an excellent time to celebrate and honor the parts of you that are still blooming but not yet in full blossom. Be grateful you have not become a jaded know-it-all. Would you consider revisiting joys you loved as a child and teenager? Halloween costume suggestion: your younger self.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Horseshoes have symbolized good luck in many cultures. A common usage is to hang them over front doors. But there’s disagreement about the best way to generate the good fortune. Some people say the open end of the horseshoe should point upward, since that collects the luck. Others insist it’s best for the horseshoe to point down, as that showers luck on those who enter and leave the house. If you experiment with this fun myth, I advise you to point the open end up. It’s time for you to gather blessings, help, and fortuity. Halloween costume accessories: good luck charms like a four-leaf clover, acorn, cat’s eye gemstone, ankh, dragon, laughing Buddha, Ganesh statue, and horseshoe.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): There would be no life on Earth if it weren’t for the sun. Our home star’s energy is the central force at work in the creation and sustenance of all humans, animals, and plants. Yet we must be sure not to get extravagant amounts of our good thing. An overabundance of solar heat and radiance can cause failed crops, dehydration, droughts, skin cancer, and wildfires. Are other factors at work in your sphere that are also nourishing in moderate amounts but unhealthy in excess? And do you know when just right becomes too much? Now is a favorable time to ruminate on these matters. Halloween costume suggestion: Goldilocks, Lady Justice with her scales, or a body suit adorned with a giant yin and yang symbol.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The earliest known human settlement is Göbekli Tepe, in what’s now the country of Turkey. When archaeologists first excavated it in 1994, they realized it was built over 11,000 years ago. This was shocking news, since it dramatically contradicted previous estimates of how long people have lived in villages. I’m predicting a comparable shift in your understanding of your own past, Libra. The full effect may not be apparent for months, but there will be interesting jolts soon. Halloween costume suggestion: archaeologist, time traveler, or yourself in a past life.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Scorpio author Ófeigur Sigurðsson writes, “You should never do what’s expected of you; there’s always another path through life than the one before you.” I wouldn’t recommend his approach to any other zodiac sign but Scorpio. And I would only advocate it for maybe 40 percent of Scorpios 10 percent of the time. The coming weeks will be one of those 10-percent times. So if you are among the 40 percent who would thrive on this demanding but potentially exhilarating counsel, get ready to be as original and imaginative in living your life as you have ever been. Halloween costume suggestion: unicorn, dragon, or phoenix.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Only two items appear more often in the world’s landfills than disposable diapers. They seem to be among the least ecologically sound products. Or maybe not. Japanese researchers at the University of Kitakyushu have made building materials out of them in combination with gravel, sand, and cement. (Read more: tinyurl.com/BetterWaste). In the spirit of this potentially glorious alchemical transmutation, and in accordance with astrological omens, I encourage you to ruminate on how you might convert wasted stuff into usable valuables in your own sphere. Halloween costume suggestion: a janitor or maid wearing a gold crown and pearls.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Of all the ideas propounded by major religions, the saddest is the Christian assertion that all of us are born sinful — that we come into this world with a corruption that renders us fundamentally flawed: tainted, soiled, guilty, foul. I reject this stupid nonsense. In my spiritual philosophy, we are all born gorgeous, loving geniuses. Tough experiences may diminish our radiance and make it a challenge to be our best, but we never lose the gorgeous, loving genius at our core. In accordance with astrological mandates, your task in the coming weeks is to get into close touch with this pure source. Halloween costume suggestion: your gorgeous, loving genius.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): According to my meticulous analysis of the astrological omens, you now have a sacred right to expand your ego at least one full size. Even two sizes will probably be fine. Your guardian angel is lobbying for you to strut and swagger, and so are your muses, your ancestors, and God Herself. I hope you will overcome any shyness you feel about expressing your talents, your intelligence, and your unique understanding of the world. Halloween costume suggestion: a charming braggart, charismatic egomaniac, or beautiful narcissist.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “The secret for harvesting the greatest fruitfulness and enjoyment is to live dangerously!” Philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche said that. “Build your cities on the slopes of Vesuvius!” he added. “Send your ships into uncharted seas!” As for you in the coming weeks, Pisces, I don’t recommend you live dangerously, but I do suggest you live adventurously. Surpass your limits, if you dare! Transcend your expectations and explore the frontiers. Those activities will be a good use of your life energy and are likely to be rewarded. Halloween costume suggestions: daredevil, swashbuckler, gambler, fortune-hunter, or knight-errant. 

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Astrology Fun Stuff

Free Will Astrology: Week of 10/19/23

Dario Bronnimann | Unsplash

ARIES (March 21-April 19): JooHee Yoon is an illustrator and designer. She says, “So much of artmaking is getting to know yourself through the creative process, of making mistakes and going down rabbit holes of research and experimentation that sometimes work out — and sometimes don’t.” She adds, “The failures are just as important as the successes.” I would extend this wisdom, applying it to how we create our personalities and lives. I hope you will keep it in mind as you improvise, experiment with, and transform yourself in the coming weeks.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Sometimes, we droop and shrivel in the face of a challenge that dares us to grow stronger and smarter. Sometimes, we try our best to handle a pivotal riddle with aplomb but fall short. Neither of these two scenarios will be in play for you during the coming months. I believe you will tap into reserves of hidden power you didn’t realize you had access to. You will summon bold, innovative responses to tantalizing mysteries. I predict you will accomplish creative triumphs that may have once seemed beyond your capacities.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Gemini novelist Meg Wolitzer suggests that “one of the goals of life is to be comfortable in your own skin and in your own bed and on your own land.” I suspect you won’t achieve that goal in the coming weeks, but you will lay the foundation for achieving that goal. You will figure out precisely what you need in order to feel at home in the world, and you will formulate plans to make that happen. Be patient with yourself, dear Gemini. Be extra tender, kind, and accommodating. Your golden hour will come.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Some astrologers say you Crabs are averse to adventure, preferring to loll in your comfort zones and entertain dreamy fantasies. As evidence that this is not always true, I direct your attention to a great Cancerian adventurer, the traveling chef Anthony Bourdain. In the coming weeks, I hope you will be inspired by these Bourdain quotes: 1. “If I’m an advocate for anything, it’s to move. As far as you can, as much as you can. Across the ocean, or simply across the river. Open your mind, get up off the couch, move.” 2. “What a great way to live, if you could always do things that interest you, and do them with people who interest you.” 3. “The more I become aware of, the more I realize how relatively little I know, how much more there is to learn. Maybe that’s enlightenment enough — to know there is no final resting place of the mind.” 4. “Travel is about the gorgeous feeling of teetering in the unknown.”

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Author Iain S. Thomas writes, “The universe is desperately trying to move you into the only spot that truly belongs to you — a space that only you can stand in. It is up to you to decide every day whether you are moving towards or away from that spot.” His ideas overlap with principles I expound in my book Pronoia Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. There I propose that life often works to help dissolve your ignorance and liberate you from your suffering. I hypothesize that you are continually being given opportunities to grow smarter and wilder and kinder. In the coming weeks, everything I’ve described here will be especially apropos to you. All of creation will be maneuvering you in the direction of feeling intensely at home with your best self. Cooperate, please!

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “Never do anything that others can do for you,” said Virgo novelist Agatha Christie. That’s not a very Virgo-like attitude, is it? Many astrologers would say that of all the zodiac’s signs, your tribe is the most eager to serve others but not aggressively seek the service of others on your behalf. But I suspect this dynamic could change in the coming weeks. Amazingly, cosmic rhythms will conspire to bring you more help and support than you’re accustomed to. My advice: Welcome it. Gather it in with gusto.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): I’m not enamored of Shakespeare’s work. Though I enjoy his creative use of language, his worldview isn’t appealing or interesting. The people in his stories don’t resonate with me, and their problems don’t feel realistic. If I want to commune with multifaceted characters dealing with fascinating dilemmas, I turn to French novelist Honoré de Balzac (1799–1850). I feel a kinship with his complex, nuanced understanding of human nature. Please note I am not asserting that Shakespeare is bad and Balzac is good. I’m merely stating the nature of my subjective personal tastes. Now I invite you to do what I have done here: In the coming weeks, stand up unflinchingly for your subjective personal tastes.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): As much as I love logic and champion rational thinking, I’m granting you an exemption from their iron-grip supremacy in the coming weeks. To understand what’s transpiring and to respond with intelligence, you must partly transcend logic and reason. They will not be sufficient guides as you wrestle with the Great Riddles that will be visiting. In a few weeks, you will be justified in quoting ancient Roman author Tertullian, who said the following about his religion, Christianity: “It is true because it is impossible.”

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): As a Sun-conjunct-Uranus person, I am fond of hyperbole and outrageousness. “Outlandish” is one of my middle names. My Burning Man moniker is “Friendly Shocker,” and in my pagan community, I’m known as Irreverend Robbie. So take that into consideration when I suggest you meditate on Oscar Wilde’s assertions that “all great ideas are dangerous” and “an idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea.” Oscar and I don’t mean that interesting possibilities must be a risk to one’s health or safety. Rather, we’re suggesting they are probably inconvenient for one’s dogmas, habits, and comfort zones. I hope you will favor such disruptors in the coming days.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Some people might feel they have achieved the peak of luxury if they find themselves sipping Moët & Chandon Imperial Vintage Champagne while lounging on a leather and diamond-encrusted PlumeBlanche sofa on a hand-knotted Agra wool rug aboard a 130-foot-long Sunseeker yacht. But I suspect you will be thoroughly pleased with the subtler forms of luxury that are possible for you these days. Like what? Like surges of appreciation and acknowledgment for your good work. Like growing connections with influences that will interest you and help you in the future. Like the emotional riches that come from acting with integrity and excellence.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): There are over 20 solutions to the riddle your higher mind is now contemplating. Several of them are smart intellectually but not emotionally intelligent. Others make sense from a selfish perspective but would be less than a blessing for some people in your life. Then there are a few solutions that might technically be effective but wouldn’t be much fun. I estimate there may only be two or three answers that would be intellectually and emotionally intelligent, would be of service not only to you but also to others, and would generate productive fun.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Naturalist John Muir didn’t like the word “hiking.” He believed people ought to saunter through the wilderness, not hike. “Hiking” implies straight-ahead, no-nonsense, purposeful movement; whereas, “sauntering” is about wandering around, being reverent towards one’s surroundings, and getting willingly distracted by where one’s curiosity leads. I suggest you favor the sauntering approach in the coming weeks — not just in nature but in every area of your life. You’re best suited for exploring, gallivanting, and meandering.

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Astrology Fun Stuff

Free Will Astrology: Week of 10/12/23

Dario Bronnimann | Unsplash

ARIES (March 21-April 19): The Indigenous Semai people of Malaysia have an unusual taboo. They try hard not to cause unhappiness in others. This makes them reluctant to impose their wishes on anyone. Even parents hesitate to force their children to do things. I recommend you experiment with this practice. Now is an excellent time to refine your effect on people to be as benevolent and welcoming as possible. Don’t worry — you won’t have to be this kind and sweet forever. But doing so temporarily could generate timely enhancements in your relationship life.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Taurus author Shakespeare reshaped the English language. He coined hundreds of words and revised the meanings of hundreds more. Idioms like “green-eyed monster” and “milk of human kindness” originated with him. But the Bard also created some innovations that didn’t last. “Recover the wind” appeared in Hamlet but never came into wide use. Other failures include, “Would you take eggs for money?” and “from smoke to smother.” Still, Shakespeare’s final tally of enduring neologisms is impressive. With this vignette, I’m inviting you to celebrate how many more successes than flops you have had. The time is right for realistic self-praise.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I hope beauty will be your priority in the coming weeks. I hope you will seek out beauty, celebrate it, and commune with it adoringly. To assist your efforts, I offer five gems: 1. Whatever you love is beautiful; love comes first, beauty follows. The greater your capacity for love, the more beauty you find in the world. — Jane Smiley 2. The world is incomprehensibly beautiful — an endless prospect of magic and wonder. — Ansel Adams 3. A beautiful thing is never perfect. — Egyptian proverb 4. You can make the world beautiful just by refusing to lie about it. — Iain S. Thomas 5. Beauty isn’t a special inserted sort of thing. It is just life, pure life, life nascent, running clear and strong. — H. G. Wells

CANCER (June 21-July 22): I read a review that described a certain movie as having “a soft, tenuous incandescence — like fog lit by the glow of fireflies.” That sounds like who you are these days, Cancerian. You’re mysterious yet luminous, hard to decipher but overflowing with life energy, fuzzy around the edges but radiating warmth and well-being. I encourage you to remain faithful to this assignment for now. It’s not a state you will inhabit forever, but it’s what’s needed and true for the foreseeable future.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The published work of Leo author Thomas de Quincey fills 14 volumes. He inspired superstar writers like Edgar Allan Poe, Charles Baudelaire, Nikolai Gogol, and Jorge Luis Borges. Yet he also ingested opium for 54 years and was often addicted. Cultural historian Mike Jay says de Quincey was not self-medicating or escaping reality, but rather keen on “exploring the hidden recesses of his mind.” He used it to dwell in states of awareness that were otherwise unattainable. I don’t encourage you to take drugs or follow de Quincey’s path, Leo. But I believe the time is right to explore the hidden recesses of your mind via other means. Like what? Working with your nightly dreams? Meditating your ass off? Having soul-altering sex with someone who wants to explore hidden recesses, too? Any others?

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Virgo journalist H.L. Mencken said, “The average person doesn’t want to be free. He wants to be safe.” There’s some truth in that, but I believe it will be irrelevant for you in the coming months. According to my analysis, you can be both safer and freer than you’ve been in a long time. I hope you take full advantage! Brainstorm about unexpected feats you might be able to accomplish during this state of grace.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Libran philosopher and writer Michel Foucault aspired to open up his readers’ minds with novel ideas. He said his task was to make windows where there had been walls. I’d like to borrow his approach for your use in the coming weeks. It might be the most fun to demolish the walls that are subdividing your world and keeping you preventing free and easy interchange. But I suspect that’s unrealistic. What’s more likely is partial success: creating windows in the walls.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): More and more older people are transitioning to different genders. An article in The Guardian (tinyurl.com/GenderMeaning) describes how Bethan Henshaw, a warehouse worker, transitioned to female at age 57. Ramses Underhill-Smith became a man in his 40s. With this as your starting point, I invite you to re-evaluate your personal meanings of gender. Please note I’m not implying you should change your designation. Astrological omens simply suggest that you will benefit from expanding your ideas. Here’s Scorpio singer Sophie B. Hawkins, a mother who says she is omnisexual: “My sexuality stems from an emotional connection to someone’s soul. You don’t have to make a gender choice and stick with it.”

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Sagittarian author Mark Twain said that in urgent or trying circumstances, uttering profanities “furnishes a relief denied even to prayer.” I will add that these magic words can be downright catalytic and healing — especially for you right now. Here are situations in which swearing could be therapeutic in the coming weeks: 1. when people take themselves too seriously; 2. when you need to escape feelings of powerlessness; 3. when know-it-alls are trying to limit the range of what can be said; 4. when people seem frozen or stunned and don’t know what to do next. In all these cases, well-placed expletives could provide necessary jolts to shift the stuck energy. (PS: Have fun using other surprises, ploys, and twists to shake things up for a good cause.)

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In Roman mythology, Venus was goddess of love, desire, and beauty. Yet modern science tells us the planet Venus is blanketed with sulfuric acid clouds, has a surface temperature of 867 degrees Fahrenheit, and is covered with 85,000 volcanoes. Why are the two Venuses out of sync? Here’s a clue, courtesy of occultist Dion Fortune. She said the goddess Venus is often a disturbing influence in the world, diverting us from life’s serious business. I can personally attest to the ways that my affinity for love, desire, and beauty have distracted me from becoming a hard-driving billionaire tech entrepreneur. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. How about you, Capricorn? I predict that the goddess version of Venus will be extra active in your life during the coming months.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Thousands of heirloom food species are privately owned and hoarded. They once belonged to Indigenous people but haven’t been grown for decades. Descendants of their original owners are trying to get them back and grow them again — a process they call rematriation — but they meet resistance from companies and governmental agencies that commandeered the seeds. There has been some progress, though. The Ho-Chunk Nation of Wisconsin has recovered some of its ancestral corn, beans, and squash. Now would be a good time for you Aquarians to launch your own version of rematriation: reclaiming what was originally yours and that truly belongs to you.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): I like Piscean poet Jane Hirshfield’s understanding of what “lies at the core of ritual.” She says it’s “the entrance into a mystery that can be touched but not possessed.” My wish for you right now, Pisces, is that you will experience mysteries that can be touched but not possessed. To do so will give you direct access to prime riddles at the heart of your destiny. You will commune with sublime conundrums that rouse deep feelings and rich insights, none of which are fully explicable by your logical mind. Please consider performing a homemade sacred ritual or two.