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BATTLE OF THE KINGS

One of our co-workers subscribes to a publication called Funny Times (it s pretty much all the reading he does, so we don t discourage it). The current issue presents an absolutely convincing comparison of Elvis Presley and a certain other fairly well-known religious figure known as Jesus Christ:

  • Jesus is the Lord s shepherd; Elvis dated Cybill Shepherd.
  • Jesus lived in a state of grace; Elvis lived in Graceland.
  • Jesus said, Love thy neighbor. Elvis said, Don t Be Cruel.
  • Mary, an important woman in Jesus life, had an immaculate conception. Priscilla, an important woman in Elvis life, went to Immaculate Conception.
  • Jesus was the Son of God; Elvis recorded at Sun Studio.
  • Jesus could feed a multitude; Elvis could eat that much.
  • Jesus said, Man shall not live by bread alone. Elvis liked his sandwiches with peanut butter and jelly.
  • Jesus is part of the Trinity; Elvis first band was a trio.
  • Jesus was resurrected; Elvis career was resurrected with the 1968 Comeback Special.
  • Jesus said, If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink (John 7:37). Elvis said, Drinks on me! (Jailhouse Rock, 1957).ý