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BOXERS AND BRIEFS I

  • Feminists agaisnt rehabilitaton continue to pen passionate letters to the press displaying outrage that Tennessee would allow Mike Tyson,the fabled ear-biting boxer with a history of violence toward women, to fight in our fair state. To give the Tyson story both a fair shake and a Shavian twist, it should be noted that the presumably notorious brute is really the Henry Higgins of boxers. It’s not so much that he’s violent toward women as he is violent in general, and when it comes to making with the mayhem there’s really no clear sense of discrimination. Besides, it’s not like he’s a priest or anything.

  • Amtrak,joining the “You’re SO Memphis Generation,” has posted a sign at Central Station noting that its offices will no longer be open during the day. The last line of their notice reads, We apologize for any convenience.” We reluctantly accept.

  • There is still no word as to who might be responsible for planting the shrapnel-laden bomb at the county morgue. While one might assume that the explosive device was the handiwork of terrorists hoping to destroy evidence in the Katherine Smith case, it is just as likely that the bomb was planted by someone who hates dead people. Somone in the Pro-Life movement perhaps?