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Astrology Fun Stuff

Free Will Astrology: Week of 04/10/25

ARIES (March 21- April 19): Life is asking you to be a source of generosity and strength for the people and animals in your sphere. I hope you will exude maximum amounts of your natural charisma as you bestow maximum blessings. Soak up the admiration and affection you deserve, too, as you convey admiration and affection to others. Here’s a secret: The more you share your resources, help, and intelligence, the more of that good stuff will flow back your way.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Ceramicist Jun Hamada says that trying to force harmony into her art leads to sterile work. “The most beautiful pieces come from the moments I stop trying to make them beautiful,” she notes. “They emerge from embracing the clay’s natural tendencies, even when they seem to fight against my intentions.” I recommend her approach to you in the coming weeks. Your best results may emerge as you allow supposed flaws and glitches to play an unexpected part in the process. Alliances might benefit, even deepen, through honest friction rather than imposed peace. What will happen when you loosen your attachment to enforced harmony and let life’s natural tensions gyrate?

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Gemini-born Frank Lloyd Wright (1867–1959) was a prolific architect who orchestrated many daring designs. Among his most audacious experiments was a project to build a house over a waterfall in Pennsylvania. “It can’t be done!” experts said. But he did it. Before he was ready to accomplish the impossible, though, he had to spend months studying the site’s natural patterns. I bring this to your attention, Gemini, because I believe you are ready to consider your own equivalent of constructing a house over a waterfall. Prepare well! Do your homework!

CANCER (June 21-July 22): In the early phase of his illustrious career as a photographer, Edward Weston (1886–1958) cultivated a soft-focus, romantic style. But he ultimately converted to stark, uncompromising realism. “The camera,” he said, “should be used for recording life, for rendering the very substance and quintessence of the thing itself.” If there is anything about you that prefers warm, fuzzy illusions over objective, detailed truth, I suggest you switch emphasis for a while. If you like, you can return to the soft-focus approach in June. But for now, a gritty, unsentimental attitude will be essential to your well-being.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Here’s my mini-manifesto about change, just in time for a phase when change is most necessary and possible for you. 1. Real change is often a slow and subtle process. There may be rare dramatic shifts, but mostly the process is gradual and incremental. 2. Instead of pushing hard for a short time, you’re more likely to change things by persistently pushing with modest strength for a sustained time. 3. Rather than trying to confront and wrestle with a big problem exactly as it is, it’s often more effective to break the seemingly insurmountable challenge into small, manageable pieces that can be solved one at a time through simple efforts.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Textile artist Mei Zhang wondered if the synthetic dyes she used on her fabrics were limited. Might there be a wider variety of colors she could use in her creations? She discovered that her grandmother, using age-old techniques, had produced hues that modern dyes couldn’t replicate. “The most sustainable path forward,” Zhang concluded, “often involves rediscovering what we’ve forgotten rather than inventing something entirely new.” I recommend that counsel to you, Virgo. The solution to a current challenge might come from looking back instead of pushing forward. Consider what old approaches or traditional wisdom you might call on to generate novelty. Weave together fresh applications with timeless principles.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The moon rises about 50 minutes later every day, and always at a slightly different place on the horizon. The amount of light it shows us is also constantly in flux. And yet where and how it will appear tomorrow or ten years from today is completely predictable. Its ever-changing nature follows a rhythmic pattern. I believe the same is true about our emotions and feelings, which in astrology are ruled by the moon. They are forever shifting, and yet if we survey the big picture of how they arise, we will see their overall flow has distinct patterns. Now would be a good time for you to get to know your flow better. See if you can detect recurring motifs. Try to develop more objectivity about how your precious emotions and feelings really work. If you do this correctly, you will deepen and enhance the guiding power of your precious emotions and feelings.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Research reveals that interludes of productive uncertainty may strengthen our brain’s neural pathways — even more so than if we consistently leap to immediate comprehension. The key modifier to this fortifying uncertainty is “productive.” We must be willing to dwell with poise in our puzzlement, even welcome and enjoy the fertile mystery it invokes in us. Neurobiologist Aiden Chen says, “Confusion, when properly supported, isn’t an obstacle to learning but a catalyst for understanding.” These ideas will be good medicine in the coming weeks, dear Scorpio.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Persian American author Haleh Liza Gafori translates the poetry of 13th-century Sufi mystic Rumi. One of their joint books is titled Gold. She writes, “Rumi’s gold is not the precious metal, but a feeling-state arrived at through the alchemical process of burning through layers of self, greed, pettiness, calculation, doctrine — all of it. The prayer of Sufism is ‘teach me to love more deeply.’ Gold is the deepest love.” That’s the gold I hope you aspire to embody in the coming weeks, Sagittarius. You are in a resplendently golden phase when you have more power than usual to create, find, and commune with Rumi’s type of gold.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The coming weeks will be an excellent time to reframe the meaning of “emptiness” in your life. To launch your quest, I will remind you that quiet interludes and gaps in your schedule can be rejuvenating. Sitting still and doing nothing in particular may be a good way to recharge your spiritual batteries. Relieving yourself of the pressure to be endlessly active could be just what you need to open up space for fresh possibilities.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): There was a time, many years ago, when I consulted a divinatory oracle every day of my life. Sometimes it was the tarot or the I Ching. I threw the Norse runes, did automatic writing, used a pendulum, or tried bibliomancy. Astrology was always in the mix, too, of course. Looking back on those days, I am amused at my obsession with scrying the future and uncovering subconscious currents. But employing these aids had a wonderful result: It helped me develop and fine-tune my intuition and psychic powers — which, after all, are the ultimate divination strategy. I bring this to your attention, Aquarius, because I believe you now have an enhanced power to cultivate and strengthen your intuition and psychic powers.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The fovea is the part of the eye that enables sharp vision. Humans have just one kind of fovea, which gives them the ability to see clearly straight ahead. Eagles have both a central and peripheral fovea. The latter gives them an amazing visual acuity for things at a distance. This extra asset also attunes them to accurately detect very slow movements. I suspect you will have a metaphorical semblance of the eagle’s perceptual capacity in the coming weeks, Pisces. You will be able to see things you wouldn’t normally see and things that other people can’t see. Take full advantage of this superpower! Find what you didn’t even know you were looking for. 

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Fun Stuff News of the Weird

News of the Weird: Week of 04/10/25

It’s a Dirty Job

Nath Wyld is a star at Magic Men, a strip club in Prahran, Australia — or at least, he was, until he discovered a more lucrative line of work. Metro News reported on Feb. 10 that Wyld makes about 20,000 pounds a year by posting videos of himself passing gas on TikTok. The onetime carpenter joined OnlyFans in 2017 and soon made enough with his X-rated videos to quit his daytime job. About two years in, he got a request for a fart video, which he initially refused. “I was blown away (no pun intended) by the demand and I have been making them ever since,” Wyld said. “Some want to see my facial expressions; others just want to see me from far away,” he said of the custom videos he makes. Wyld said he “starts bloated — kind of part of the process — and go through the video until I feel lighter by the end. … I’ve been doing this long enough to know that everyone’s into their own thing, and that’s cool.”

Awesome! 

• When Loretta, a 104-year-old resident of the Avon Nursing Home in Geneseo, New York, was asked what she wanted for her birthday, she replied that she’d never seen the inside of a jail. So, WHAM-TV reported on Feb. 11, the Livingston County Sheriff’s Office obliged, inviting her to the station and giving her a good look around, then celebrating with cake and coffee. Loretta paid back the favor by sharing some wisdom with Sheriff Thomas Dougherty: “Mind your business.”

• Officials in the Czech Republic had been planning to build a dam on the Klabava River for more than six years, Yahoo! News reported on Feb. 11, but were stymied by negotiations over land use. Instead, some industrious beavers solved the problem for them and saved taxpayers $1.2 million. “They built a wetland with pools and canals,” said Bohumil Fiser of the Czech Nature Conservation Agency. “The area is roughly twice larger than planned. They do a brilliant job.”

Fish Story

It took Hayley Herzig, 22, of Van Dyne, Wisconsin, six years to harvest her first sturgeon, but when she did, it was newsworthy. WLUK-TV reported that on the first day of sturgeon-spearing season at Lake Winnebago, Feb. 8, Herzig landed a fish bigger than herself. The massive sturgeon weighed 180.5 pounds and was more than 79 inches long. “It was very exciting, did not feel real,” she said. “I was in disbelief.” She and her boyfriend buried the beast in the snow behind their house and plan to deep-fry or smoke it. “We’re probably going to get a replica … and hang it up in the house because it’s … a memory that’ll never be forgotten,” Herzig said.

It’s Come to This

Visitors to the Chengdu Snow Village in the Sichuan province of China were left with a “bad impression” of the tourist attraction in early February, Reuters reported. Because of unseasonably warm weather, project coordinators had to improvise the “snowy” atmosphere, stapling cotton sheets to the rooftops and scattering white sand, cotton batting, and soapy water to simulate snow throughout the property. Snow Village organizers said entry fees would be refunded, and the village has closed.

It’s a Mystery

Investigators in Munich, Germany, are stumped by the sudden appearance of more than 1,000 small stickers on grave markers in three different cemeteries, the Associated Press reported. The stickers feature a QR code that, when scanned, reveals the name of the person in the grave and the location within the cemetery. “The stickers were put both on decades-old gravestones and very new graves that so far only have a wooden cross,” said police spokesperson Christian Drexler. Police are investigating property damage as well because when removed, the stickers leave discoloration.

Repeat Offender

For the second time in a month, a teenager in the Bronx has been charged with trying to take a subway train for a joyride on Feb. 18, Pix11-TV reported. Police said the 15-year-old tried to operate the No. 2 train from the Prospect Avenue station. He was arrested in late January with a group of kids who drove the R train in Brooklyn. He was charged with reckless endangerment and criminal trespassing.

NEWS OF THE WEIRD
© 2025 Andrews McMeel Syndication.
Reprinted with permission.
All rights reserved.

Categories
Astrology Fun Stuff

Free Will Astrology: Week of 04/03/25

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Have you ever been part of an innovation team? Its goal is not simply to develop as many new ideas and approaches as possible, but rather to generate good, truly useful new ideas and approaches. The most effective teams don’t necessarily move with frantic speed. In fact, there’s value in “productive pausing” — strategic interludes of reflection that allow deeper revelations to arise. It’s crucial to know when to slow down and let hunches and insights ripen. This is excellent advice for you. You’re in a phase when innovation is needed and likely. For best results, infuse your productivity with periodic stillness.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Barnacles are crustaceans that form vast colonies on rocks, pilings, whales, and boats. They may grow so heavy on a ship that they increase its heft and require as much as a 40-percent increase in fuel consumption. Some sailors refer to them as “crusty foulers.” All of us have our own metaphorical equivalent of crusty foulers: encumbrances and deadweights that drag us down and inhibit our rate of progress. In my astrological opinion, the coming weeks will be a favorable time for you to shed as much of yours as possible. (I’ll be shedding mine in June.)

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In 1088, the Chinese polymath and statesman Shen Kuo published his book Dream Torrent Essays, also translated as Dream Pool Essays. In this masterwork, he wrote about everything that intrigued and fascinated him, including the effects of lightning strikes, the nature of eclipses, how to make swords, building tall pagodas resistant to wind damage, and a pearl-like UFO he saw regularly. I think the coming weeks would be an excellent time for you to begin your own version of Dream Torrent Essays, Gemini. You could generate maximum fun and self-knowledge by compiling all the reasons you love being alive on this mysterious planet.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): The mimosa is known as the “sensitive plant.” The moment its leaves are touched, they fold inwards, exposing the sharp spines of its stems. Why do they do that? Botanists say it’s meant to deter herbivore predators from nibbling it. Although you Cancerians sometimes display equally extreme hair-trigger defense mechanisms, I’m happy to say that you will be unlikely to do so in the coming weeks. You are primed to be extra bold and super-responsive. Here’s one reason why: You are finely tuning your protective instincts so they work with effective grace — neither too strong nor too weak. That’s an excellent formula to make fun new connections and avoid mediocre new connections.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): While sleeping on a recent night, I dreamed of an old friend I had lost touch with for 20 years. It was wonderful. We were remembering mystic breakthroughs we had while younger. When I awoke the next day, I was delighted to find an email from this friend, hoping for us to be back in touch. Hyper-rationalists might call this coincidence, but I know it was magical synchronicity — evidence that we humans are connected via the psychic airways. I’m predicting at least three such events for you in the coming weeks, Leo. Treat them with the reverence they deserve. Take them seriously as signs of things you should pay closer attention to.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): A star that astronomers call EBLM J0555-57Ab is 670 light-years away. Its diameter is the smallest of any known star, just a bit larger than Saturn in our solar system. But its mass is 250 times greater than Saturn’s. It’s concentrated and potent. I’ll be inclined to compare you to EBLM J0555-57Ab in the coming weeks, Virgo. Like this modest-sized powerhouse, you will be stronger and more impactful than you may appear. The quality you offer will be more effective than others’ quantity. Your focused, dynamic efficiency could make you extra influential.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Libran jazz pianist and composer Thelonious Monk was an influential musician in part because he didn’t conform to conventions. According to music writer Tarik Moody, Monk’s music features “dissonances and angular melodic twists and [is] consistent with his unorthodox approach to the piano, which combined a highly percussive attack with abrupt, dramatic use of switched key releases, silences, and hesitations.” Many of Monk’s most innovative improvisations grew out of apparent mistakes. He explored and developed wrong notes to make them into intentional aspects of his compositions. “His genius,” said another critic, “lay in his ability to transform accidents into opportunities.” I’d love to see you capitalize on that approach, Libra. You now have the power to ensure that seeming gaffes and glitches will yield positive and useful results.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Author Richard Wright said that people “can starve from a lack of self-realization as much as they can from a lack of bread.” That’s rarely a problem for Scorpios, since you are among the zodiac’s best sleuths when exploring your inner depths. Does any other sign naturally gather more self-realization than you? No! But having said that, I want to alert you to the fact that you are entering a phase when you will benefit from even deeper dives into your mysterious depths. It’s an excellent time to wander into the frontiers of your self-knowledge.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Andean condors hunt for prey while flying through the sky with their 10-foot wingspan. They’ve got a good strategy for conserving their energy: riding on thermal currents with little effort, often soaring for vast distances. I recommend that you channel the Andean condor in the coming weeks, Sagittarius. Always be angling to work smarter rather than harder. Look for tricks and workarounds that will enable you to be as efficient and stress-free as possible. Trust that as you align yourself with natural flows, you will cover a lot of ground with minimal strain. Celebrate the freedom that comes from embracing ease.  

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): While hiking in nature, people often rely on their phones to navigate. And what if their battery dies or there’s poor cell service out in the middle of nowhere? They might use an old-fashioned compass. It won’t reveal which direction to go, but will keep the hiker apprised of where true north lies. In that spirit, Capricorn, I invite you to make April the month you get in closer communication with your own inner compass. It’s a favorable and necessary time to become even more highly attuned to your ultimate guide and champion: the voice of the teacher within you.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “It is advisable to look from the tide pool to the stars and then back to the tide pool.” Aquarian author John Steinbeck wrote that. I think it’s useful counsel for you in the coming weeks. What does it imply? Here are a few meditations: 1. Be tuned in to both the small personal world right in front of you and the big picture of the wider world. Balance and coordinate your understandings of them. 2. If you shift your perspective back and forth between the macrocosmic and microcosmic perspectives, you’re far more likely to understand how life really works. 3. You may flourish best by blending the evaluative powers of your objective, rational analysis and your intuitive, nonrational feelings.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The earliest humans used bones and pebbles to assist in arithmetic calculations. Later, they got help from abacuses and crude mechanical devices. Electronic calculators didn’t arrive until the 1960s. All were efforts to bypass tedious reckonings. All were ingenious attempts to manage necessary details that weren’t much fun. In that spirit, I encourage you to seek time-saving, boredom-preventing innovations in the coming weeks. Now is an excellent time to maximize your spacious ability to do things you love to do.

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Fun Stuff News of the Weird

News of the Weird: Week of 04/03/25

The Weirdo-American Community

A United Airlines flight from San Francisco to Chicago was forced to divert to Denver on Feb. 9 after a passenger became unruly, LiveandLetsFly.com reported. The man was up out of his seat repeatedly and argued with flight attendants before demanding to know “Where are the Mormons?” One passenger said the incident “escalated into a big physical altercation and several passengers had to rush out of their seats to help the crew pin down this person.” Although the troublemaker was removed from the flight in Denver, the plane sat on the ground for about five hours before continuing to Chicago.

News That Sounds Like a Joke

A high school teacher in Queensland, Australia, has taken to identifying as a cat, 7News-TV reported on Feb. 10. “Miss Purr,” as she prefers to be known, teaches at Marsden State High School, where she “screeches and growls when [her students] don’t listen,” one person posted on Facebook. She also hisses and licks the backs of her hands during class and wears a headband with cat ears. One concerned mother said Miss Purr had made her daughter “purr for a lolly.” The Department of Education said the school was aware of the complaints and the principal was speaking with the teacher.

Cultural Diversity

On Feb. 10 in Inazawa, Japan, more than 7,000 men wearing only loincloths participated in the Konomiya Naked Festival at a Shinto shrine, The Mainichi reported. The event, which has been held for more than 1,200 years on the 13th day of the first lunar month, features a “god-man” who is thought to carry away misfortune if you touch him. This year’s “god-man” was 26-year-old Ryota Kato, who threw himself into the crowd as the men chanted and fought to touch him. About an hour later, he emerged from the crowd and entered the shrine.

Inexplicable

Law enforcement officers in South Holland, England, are stumped by a rash of pet cats returning to their homes with patches of missing fur, The Spalding and South Holland Voice reported on Feb. 12. The cats have apparently been shaved. “This behavior is completely unacceptable,” said inspector Matt Dickinson. “The cats in question are someone’s pet, part of their family.” Evidently, it’s not the first time the mysterious cat shaver has struck; two Facebook commenters said their cats had been shaved in past years.

It’s Come to This

A manufacturer of fortune cookies contacted the owner of a Vietnamese restaurant in Sydney, Australia, to announce they would no longer fill her orders for custom messages that are offensive or contain expletives. 9News reported that Nahji Chu, owner of Lady Chu, ordered profanity-laced cookies for Valentine’s Day. But after the manufacturer mistakenly sent some of Chu’s cookies to fulfill another order, causing distress with that customer, they changed their policy. Chu wasn’t happy: “If you’re getting it mixed up with other restaurants, that’s not my fault,” she said. Some of Chu’s more PG-rated cookie messages include, “You are capable of great things. But all you do is look at your phone all day. You won’t be that great sorry! #ladychu” and “The year of the snake bears good fortune! Your divorce is coming soon.” She said she’ll “take out the profanities and be creative” with her next order.

Oops!

The Lee County (Florida, where else?) Sheriff’s Office is investigating after a Feb. 7 incident involving an allegedly intoxicated man riding on a lawnmower, WESH-TV reported. A video camera caught the mower plowing into a mailbox along the street; the man went heels over head and stumbled away from the mower, then returned and drove off, apparently hitting multiple other mailboxes along the way. Matt Clardy, whose mailbox was among the victims, called it “absolutely disgusting” but admitted, “It’s so funny. I can watch it 100 times.” The man left behind a Pittsburgh Steelers hat and sunglasses at one of the scenes; police are still trying to identify him.

NEWS OF THE WEIRD
© 2025 Andrews McMeel Syndication.
Reprinted with permission.
All rights reserved.

Categories
Fun Stuff Music Music Blog

KrafTwerk Stuns With Their Buns

Last week, the Overton Park Shell hosted a remarkable show by the band Kraftwerk as part of its Shell Yeah! benefit concert series. The group has long been hailed as pioneers of electronic dance music, but, more than that, as world-building conceptual artists in their unyielding pursuit of a vision. That vision was on full display last Tuesday, and clearly touched a wide swath of the Memphis music community, who had turned out in force. “I think everyone I’ve ever met in Midtown is at this Kraftwerk concert right now,” quipped one music fan on social media. “It’s like a family reunion with synthesizers.”

Yet, while there was much moving and grooving in front of the Shell stage, there was a disappointing lack of the very style of dance that the German synthesists have doggedly promoted throughout their career, even in their choice of a band name. Of course, I’m talking about Twerking.

As with much music aimed at a popular dance, from the Twist to the Pony, it’s difficult to say if Kraftwerk actually invented twerking or were merely inspired by what they saw in the discotheques of 1970s Düsseldorf. But the dance has been associated with them ever since they celebrated it in their very name, which was originally rendered as KRAF-Twerk.

Founders Ralf Hütter and Florian Schneider soon found that name either too obvious or too obscure, depending on the source, and quickly settled on the simpler spelling. But early demos, unreleased at the time, have made it clear that KRAF was an acronym denoting “Kinetic, Repetitive Ass Flexing.”

On the demo, an unused track titled “Twerk-Tanz Automatisch” from the Autobahn sessions, thus far only available on bootlegs, a voice intones, with deep gravitas, first the words “Mit gebeugten Knien tanzen” (dance with bent knees), then “das Gesäß betonend!” (emphasizing the buttocks!), before initiating a vocoder-steeped chant in English of “Kinetic! Repetitive! Ass! Flexing!”

Clearly the group was onto something, and the video above, from Detroit circa 1981, reveals how their trademark dance craze was soon being adopted internationally.

And it still is overwhelmingly popular in Germany and across the world to this day, as seen in this video with nearly 848.5 million views:

Yet there was little evidence of twerking at Kraftwerk’s triumphant Shell appearance. That’s not say it wasn’t going on at all, however. The dance is fully incorporated into the band’s method, just as surely as cycling, programming, and 3D projections. As Hütter himself revealed in a rare interview with Der Spiegel, “Diese Tanzmethode ist entscheidend für unsere künstlerische Praxis” (This dance method is crucial to our artistic practice). “Wir twerken immer still hinter unseren Podien” (We’re always twerking silently behind our podiums).

Kraftwerk behind their podiums (Photo: Alex Greene)

Visit this link on the Overton Park Shell website to learn about future concerts in the Shell Yeah! benefit concert series.

Categories
Astrology Fun Stuff

Free Will Astrology: Week of 03/27/25

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Ancient Rome’s emperor Julius Caesar undertook a radical move to fix the calendar, which had become increasingly inaccurate as the centuries passed. He added three months to the year 46 B.C.E., which as a result was 445 days long. I’m thinking that 2025 might seem equally long for you, Aries. Your destiny may feel like it’s taking forever to unfold. APRIL FOOL! I totally lied. In fact, I think 2025 will be one of your briskest, crispest years ever. Your adventures will be spiced with alacrity. Your efforts will be efficient and expeditious. You may sometimes be amazed at how swiftly progress unfolds.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Guilt and fear are always useless distractions from what’s really happening. Right? APRIL FOOL! The fact is that on rare occasions, being anxious can motivate you to escape from situations that your logical mind says are tolerable. And guilt may compel you to take the right action when nothing else will. This is one time when your guilt and fear can be valuable assets.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The German word Flüsterwitze means “whisper jokes.” These jests make taboo references and need to be delivered with utmost discretion. They may include the mockery of authority figures. Dear Gemini, I recommend that you suppress your wicked satire and uproarious sarcasm for a while and stick to whisper jokes. APRIL FOOL! I lied. The truth is that the world needs your outspokenness. Your ability to call out hypocrisies and expose corruption — especially with humor and wit — will keep everyone as honest as they need to be.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): In the lead-up to the Paris-hosted 2024 Summer Olympics, the iconic Eiffel Tower was repainted gold. This was a departure from tradition, as the usual colors had been brown on the bottom and red on the top. The $60-million job took 25 painters 18 months. I recommend that you undertake an equally monumental task in the coming months, Cancerian. APRIL FOOL! I lied. In fact, I do hope you undertake a monumental task — but one that’s more substantive than changing the surfaces of things. Like reenvisioning your life story, for example — reinterpreting your past and changing the way it informs your future. I think you are ready to purge inessential elements and exorcize old ghosts as you prepare for a re-launch around your birthday.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): When I worked on the Duke University grounds crew years ago, I did the work I was assigned as quickly as possible. Then I would hide in the bushes, taking unauthorized breaks for an hour or two, so I could read books I loved. Was that unethical? Maybe. But the fact is, I would never have been able to complete my assigned tasks unless I allowed myself relaxation retreats. If there is an equivalent situation in your life, Leo, I urge you to do as I did. APRIL FOOL! I half-lied. The truth is that I think you should be a little less extravagant than I was — but only a little — as you create the spaciousness and slack you need.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In his film Fitzcarraldo, Virgo director Werner Herzog tells an epic story. It includes the task of hauling a 320-ton steamship up a hill and over land, moving it from one river to another. Herzog could have relied on special effects to simulate this almost impossible project, but he didn’t. With a system of pulleys and a potent labor force, he made it happen. I urge you to try your equivalent of Herzog’s heroic conquest, Virgo. You will be able to summon more power and help than you can imagine. APRIL FOOL! I half-lied. While it’s true that you will be able to summon more power and help than you can imagine, I still think you should at least partially rely on the equivalent of special effects.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Researchers discovered that Egyptian fruit bats engage in extensive communication with each other while nesting in their roosts. Surprisingly, they talk about their problems a lot. In fact, they quarrel 60 percent of the time. Areas of disagreement include food allocation, positions within the sleep cluster, and males initiating unwanted mating moves. Let’s make these bats your power creatures. The astrological omens say it’s time for you to argue more than you have ever argued. APRIL FOOL! I was not entirely truthful. The coming weeks will be a good time to address disagreements and settle disputes, but hopefully through graceful means, not bitter arguing.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Unlike many modern poets, Scorpio-born Alice Notley rejects the notion that she must be part of any poetic lineage. She aspires “to establish or continue no tradition except one that literally can’t exist — the celebration of the singular thought sung at a particular instant in a unique voice.” She has also written, “It’s necessary to maintain a state of disobedience against everything.” She describes her work as “an immense act of rebellion against dominant social forces.” I invite you to enjoy your own version of a Notley-like phase, Scorpio. APRIL FOOL! I lied. In fact, I encourage you to enjoy a Notley-like phase beginning May 1. But for now, I invite you to be extra attentive in cultivating all the ways you can benefit from honoring your similarities and connections with others.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): The Scholastic Aptitude Test (SAT) is a standardized test that many American high school students take to prove their worth to colleges. The highest possible score is achieved by fewer than 1 percent of test-takers. We might imagine that earning such a premium grade must guarantee admission to any school, but it doesn’t. During one five-year period, for example, Stanford University rejected 69 percent of applicants with the highest possible score. I’m sorry to predict that a comparable experience might be ahead for you, Sagittarius. Even if you are your best and brightest self, you may be denied your rightful reward. APRIL FOOL! I totally lied. Here’s my real, true prediction: In the coming weeks, I believe you will be your best and brightest self — and will win your rightful reward.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The visible part of an iceberg is typically just 10 percent of its total size. Most is hidden beneath the sea’s surface. References to “the tip of the iceberg” have become a staple metaphor in many cultures, signifying situations that are not what they seem. Of all the zodiac tribes, Scorpios are renowned for their expertise in discerning concealed agendas and missing information. The rest of us tend to be far less skillful. APRIL FOOL! I fibbed. These days, you Capricorns are even more talented than Scorpios at looking beyond the obvious and becoming aware of the concealed roots and full context.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In the coming weeks, I advise you to be like the 19th-century poet Emily Dickinson. She lived in quiet seclusion, corresponding through letters instead of socializing. She seemed content to write her poems all alone in her home and be unconcerned about trying to get them published. APRIL FOOL! I lied. Here’s my real horoscope: Now is a highly favorable time for you to shmooze with intensity at a wide range of social occasions, both to get all the educational prods you need and to advance your ambitions.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Some systems and situations improve and thrive in response to stress and errors. Indeed, some things need strain or irregularity to be fully healthy. For example, human bodies require a certain amount of stress to develop a resistance to infection. In reading the astrological omens, I conclude you now need stimulation like that. APRIL FOOL! I lied. Here’s the truth: August of 2025 will be a great time for you to harvest the benefits of benevolent stress. But for now, your forte will be the capacity to avoid and resist stress, confusion, and errors. 

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Fun Stuff News of the Weird

News of the Weird: Week of 03/27/25

The Passing Parade

In the name of gender equality, Chinese influencer Zhu Miaolin is calling on her male counterparts to start wearing Adam’s apple covers, analogous to women wearing bras. The South China Morning Post reported on Jan. 23 that Zhu noted the Adam’s apple is a delicate, sensitive area that should be protected. The covers are made from wool, leather, or lace and cost between 70 cents and $3. A 2020 census in China revealed that there are about 35 million more men than women, a result of the longstanding (but now defunct) one-child policy in the country.

Family Values

Two mourning sisters from Clearwater, Florida, didn’t even make it out of the church before getting into a scrape following their 95-year-old dad’s funeral on Jan. 22, The Smoking Gun reported. As Kathleen Deegan, 66, delivered the eulogy for Dr. Arthur Deegan, she neglected to mention her niece, which upset Maureen Deegan, 60. After the service, Maureen allegedly chest-bumped her older sister; Kathleen then grabbed Maureen’s hair and pulled her back. Maureen threw “strikes at [Kathleen’s] face.” Kathleen was arrested for misdemeanor battery; Maureen was charged with felony battery because her victim was over 65 years old.

News That Sounds Like a Joke

Fighting a cold? If you’re lucky, you can find some Progresso Soup Drops — cough lozenges that taste like chicken noodle soup. Metro News reported that General Mills announced the limited-time product on Jan. 16: “What’s a soup drop? Well, it’s soup you can suck on, of course!” A can of 24 lozenges costs $2.49, but they sold out almost immediately, before a second batch was released on Jan. 23.

What’s in a Name?

Before she was born, a cosmetologist from McDonough, Georgia, told the New York Post on Jan. 27, her mom wanted to name her either Tequilla Sunrise or Shaylee Shian. After the birth, her dad merged the names and signed the papers, and Tequilla Shian was introduced to the world. Tequilla was bullied and got in trouble with teachers, who thought she was making up her name, until she started going by Shian when she was 11. As an adult, she has embraced her first name again. “I have heard the same jokes over and over again,” she said. “Kids would ask if my parents were alcoholics or if they were drunk naming me.” Interestingly, Tequilla is a teetotaler: “I myself don’t drink — people find that very funny, that the girl named Tequilla doesn’t drink.”

Don’t Try This at Home

JAMA Cardiology published a case on Jan. 22 that might put followers of the carnivore diet off their meat. The subject arrived at a Tampa, Florida, hospital with yellow oozing nodes on his palms, elbows, and soles of his feet, the New York Post reported. He told doctors that he was following a diet consisting of entire sticks of butter and six to nine pounds of cheese and hamburger patties daily. He said his overall health had improved — he had lost weight and gained energy and cognitive functioning. But the painless ooze had started nearly a month earlier. Blood tests revealed his cholesterol level was more than 1,000 mg/dL — about five times what is considered healthy. He was diagnosed with xanthelasma, in which excess lipids ooze from the blood vessels. The report didn’t reveal the man’s fate.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Domino’s Pizza UK launched its first-ever eau de toilette, Eau de Passion, which is inspired by its Pepperoni Passion pizza and features notes of spice, pepper, and a woody, warm base, the New York Post reported. The scent’s bottle is shaped like a slice of pizza, and the cologne is free from the Domino’s website if you’re lucky enough to be chosen to receive one. British star Luke Debono, who’s promoting the scent, said it was “the perfect gift for passionate pizza-loving couples looking to spice things up this Valentine’s Day.”

Send your weird news items with subject line WEIRD NEWS to WeirdNewsTips@amuniversal.com.

NEWS OF THE WEIRD
© 2025 Andrews McMeel Syndication.
Reprinted with permission.
All rights reserved.

Categories
Astrology Fun Stuff

Free Will Astrology: Week of 03/20/25

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Cheetahs are the fastest land animals. From standing still, they can be running at 70 miles per hour three seconds later. But they can’t sustain that intensity. After a 20-second burst, they need to relax and recover. This approach serves them well, enabling them to prey on the small creatures they like to eat. I encourage you to be like a metaphorical cheetah in the coming weeks, Aries. Capitalize on the power of focused, energetic spurts. Aim for bursts of dedicated effort, followed by purposeful rest. You don’t need to pursue a relentless pace to succeed. Recognize when it’s right to push hard and when it’s time to recharge.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Inside a kaleidoscope, the colored shards of glass are in an ever-shifting chaotic jumble. But internal mirrors present pleasing symmetrical designs to the person gazing into the kaleidoscope. I see a similar phenomenon going on in your life. Some deep intelligence within you (your higher self?) is creating intriguing patterns out of an apparent mess of fragments. I foresee this continuing for several weeks. So don’t be quick to jump to conclusions about your complicated life. A hidden order is there, and you can see its beauty if you’re patient and poised.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Spiders spin their webs with meticulous care, crafting structures that are delicate, strong, and useful. Their silk is five times more robust than steel of the same diameter. It’s waterproof, can stretch 140 percent of its length without splitting, and maintains its sturdiness at temperatures as low as -40 degrees. With that in mind, Gemini, I bid you to work on fortifying and expanding your own web in the coming weeks — by which I mean your network of connections and support. It’s an excellent time to deepen and refine your relationships with the resources and influences that help hold your world together.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Chichén Itzá was a large pre-Columbian city from around 600 to 1200 C.E. It was built by Mayan people in what’s now Mexico. At the city center was a pyramid, The Temple of Kukulcán. During the equinoxes, and only on the equinoxes, sunlight fell on its steps in such a way as to suggest a snake descending the stairs. The mathematical, architectural, and astronomical knowledge necessary to create this entertaining illusion was phenomenal. In that spirit, I am pleased to tell you that you are now capable of creating potent effects through careful planning. Your strategic thinking will be enhanced, especially in projects that require long-term vision. The coming weeks will be a favorable time for initiatives that coordinate multiple elements to generate fun and useful outcomes.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Fireflies produce very efficient light. Nearly all the energy expended in their internal chemical reactions is turned directly into their intense glow. By contrast, light bulbs are highly inefficient. In accordance with astrological omens, Leo, I urge you to be like a firefly in the coming weeks, not a light bulb. You will have dynamic power to convert your inner beauty into outer beauty. Be audacious! Be uninhibited! Shower the world with full doses of your radiant gifts.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Brazil nut trees grow in the Amazon — but if only they are in the vicinity of orchid bees, their sole pollinators. And orchid bees thrive in no other place except where there are lots of blooming orchids. So the Brazil nut tree has very specific requirements for its growth and well-being. You Virgos aren’t quite so picky about the influences that keep you fertile and flourishing — though sometimes I do worry about it. The good news is that in the coming months, you will be casting a wider net in quest of inspiration and support. I suspect you will gather most, maybe all, of the inspiration and support you need.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In 1858, businessperson James Miller Williams was digging a new water well on his land in Ontario, hoping to compensate for a local drought. He noticed oil was seeping out of the hole he had scooped. Soon, he became the first person in North America to develop a commercial oil well. I suspect that you, too, may soon stumble upon valuable fuels or resources, Libra — and they may be different from what you imagined you were looking for. Be alert and open-minded for unexpected discoveries.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): I’ve been through the U.S. education system, and I can testify that our textbooks don’t give the French enough of the credit they deserve for helping our fledging nation gain independence from Great Britain. The 18th-century American Revolution would not have succeeded without extensive aid from France. So I’m a little late, but I am hereby showering France with praise and gratitude for its intervention. Now I encourage you, too, to compensate for your past lack of full appreciation for people and influences that have been essential to you becoming yourself. It’s a different kind of atonement: not apologizing for sins, but offering symbolic and even literal rewards to underestimated helpers and supporters.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): As I survey the astrological aspects, I am tempted to encourage you to be extra expansive about love. I am curious to see the scintillating intimacy you might cultivate. So, in the hope you’re as intrigued by the experimental possibilities as I am, I invite you to memorize the following words by author Maya Angelou and express them to a person with whom you want to play deeper and wilder: “You are my living poem, my symphony of the untold, my golden horizon stretched beyond what the eye can see. You rise in me like courage, fierce and unyielding, yet soft as a lullaby sung to a weary soul. You are my promise kept, my hope reborn, the infinite melody in the heart of silence. I hold you in the marrow of my joy, where you are home.”

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Four facts about a mountain goat as it navigates along steep and rocky terrain: 1. It’s strong and vigorous; 2. it’s determined and unflappable; 3. it’s precise and disciplined; 4. it calls on enormous stamina and resilience. According to my astrological analysis, you Capricorns will have maximum access to all these capacities during the coming weeks. You can use them to either ascend to seemingly impossible heights or descend to fantastically interesting depths. Trust in your power to persevere. Love the interesting journey as much as the satisfaction of reaching the goal of the journey.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): The Swiss Army knife is a compact assemblage of tools. These may include a nail file, scissors, magnifying glass, screwdriver, pliers, blade, can opener, and many others. Is there a better symbol for adaptability and preparedness? I urge you to make it your metaphorical power object during the coming weeks, Aquarius. Explore new frontiers of flexibility, please. Be ready to shift perspective and approach quickly and smoothly. Be as agile and multifaceted as you dare.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Coast redwoods are the tallest trees on the planet. If, Goddess forbid, lumber harvesters cut down one of these beauties, it can be used to build more than 20 houses. And yet each mature tree begins as a seed the size of a coat button. Its monumental growth is steady and slow, relying on robust roots and a symbiotic relationship with a fungus that enables it to absorb water from fog. I propose we make the redwood your power symbol for now, Pisces. Inspired by its process, I hope you implement the magic of persistent, incremental growth. Treasure the fact that a fertile possibility has the potential, with patience and nurturing, to ripen into a long-term asset. Trust that small efforts, fueled by collaboration, will lead to gratifying achievements. 

Categories
Fun Stuff News of the Weird

News of the Weird: Week of 03/20/25

It’s Good To Have a Hobby

In 2023, friends Boone Hogg and Logan Jugler found a nice stick on the side of a trail in Utah — it had “some excellent grain on it” and a “nice grip,” they said. They liked it so much, they shared a review of it with their friends, National Public Radio reported on Jan. 23. Two years later, Stick Nation has about 3 million Instagram followers from all over the world who post pictures and reviews of their favorite sticks. Some are “modded,” or altered by humans; others are “natty,” left in their natural state. One poster from Antarctica wondered: “There are no sticks here. … I found an ice stick. Does this count?” Stick Nation allowed the submission. “This is an Antarctica stick,” Jugler decreed.

Nope

In November, high above Riedering, Germany, Friedi Kuhne and Lukas Irmler walked across a slackline strung between two hot-air balloons flying at more than 8,000 feet, United Press International reported. The two were awarded the Guinness World Record for highest slackline walk on Jan. 27. Irmler went first, calling the successful walk “a glorious moment.” Kuhne admitted, “Watching Lukas struggle on the slackline was also very intimidating for me,” noting that the balloons went up and down while they were mid-walk. “At one point we were walking kind of downhill — the next minute uphill. The tension of the line was going up and down.” He celebrated by parachuting off the line.

It’s a Mystery

The Los Angeles Times reported on Jan. 27 that police were called to a property along the Los Angeles River where Google Earth images had captured multiple HELP signs scratched into the dirt. The land is owned by the Union Pacific Railroad, and it turns out the satellite images were captured in 2023. But a KTLA-TV news helicopter flew over the property on Jan. 27 and saw that the words were still there. Jill Micek, a spokesperson for Union Pacific, said the railroad is aware of a man who has trespassed on the company’s property repeatedly and who is responsible for the alarming messages. While she stressed that no one is in danger, the conspiracy theory community lit up with tales of underground tunnels: “The truth is in the tunnels,” one wrote on X. But LAPD is also familiar with the individual who frequents the area, and they said he “has refused housing or a mental health evaluation. He has been at the location for a few years.”

Weird in the Wild

In rural Willows, Australia, a man in his 50s suffered serious injuries on Jan. 29 when a “massive” kangaroo attacked him as he walked from his house to his car, The Guardian reported. Fortunately, a neighbor witnessed the attack and was able to call for help. Rick Underhill of the Willows Rural Fire Brigade said the man encountered two kangaroos, one male and one female, and the female ran off before the “other bastard turned around and attacked him.” He said the male roo was about 6.5 feet tall and probably weighed 220 pounds. Underhill warned community members to stay at home. “A lot of elderly people live in this little community, and they like to go and walk their dogs in the morning,” he said. “And that’s just asking for trouble.”

The Tech Revolution

Twelve thousand humans, alongside dozens of humanoid robots, are scheduled to compete in a half-marathon in Beijing in April, Oddity Central reported on Jan. 29. Bipedal robots from Tesla, Boston Dynamics, and 1X will have to have a human-inspired appearance and be able to move on two legs. Experts say experienced human runners have the edge over robots, partially because of battery life, but battery changes mid-race will be allowed.

Police Report

Police pulled over Elizabeth Perez of El Paso, Texas, on Jan. 24 after clocking her driving 106 mph on I-84 near Baker City, Oregon, The Oregonian reported. Why is that weird? Perez is 94 years old. She was also cited for failing to secure a child passenger, driving without insurance, and failing to yield to an emergency vehicle.

NEWS OF THE WEIRD
© 2025 Andrews McMeel Syndication.
Reprinted with permission.
All rights reserved.

Categories
Fun Stuff Metaphysical Connection

Metaphysical Connection: The Goddess Archetype

The spring equinox is here, and the rising energies of spring often make me think of The Goddess. In this instance, The Goddess is not a specific person, entity, or deity. Here we are talking about the archetype of The Goddess and how she shows up in our lives. Different religions look at the idea of The Goddess differently, but we do not have the space to break her down into such depths here. Today, we are going to focus on the “Big G” Goddess, this overarching energy that permeates so much of our life, even if we don’t always name it as such. 

The Goddess is the embodiment of the divine feminine — an energy inside everyone and everything — and is often associated with compassion, nurturing, forgiveness, intuition, and empathy. It’s the feminine aspect of divine power that has created galaxies and guides us in our lives. The divine feminine primarily focuses on the inner being and your own emotional world. Tapping into this energy can help you heal your mind, body, and soul, and can help you show more kindness to the world and those around you.

The energies of the divine masculine and divine feminine have been present in various spiritual traditions and belief systems throughout history. You might find lists explaining that divine masculine energy usually represents qualities like strength, action, logic, and rationality, while divine feminine represents qualities like intuition, nurturing, creativity, and emotional intelligence.

Everyone has these energies in their own unique combination. Regardless of gender identity or sexual preferences, each person is a distinctive combination of these action-oriented, divine masculine energies and the receptive-centered, divine feminine energies. This balance of energy in each one of us will shift over time, depending on what is going on in our lives and what qualities we want or need to cultivate. I know, for example, that I used to present more masculine energy than I do now. Over the last 10 years or so, I have cultivated my divine feminine energy and recognize that I carry more of that now than I used to.

The Goddess is the personification of the divine feminine. She has been worshipped across the world since humans developed spiritual inclinations. She is seen and honored more in pre-Christian religions and modern paganism, but she also shows up in Abrahamic faiths and other spiritual paths such as Hinduism and Buddhism.

We see The Goddess more clearly in our ancient and modern Pagan religions because she was never hidden away. I am not familiar with the religious beliefs of every pre-Christian culture; however, I feel confident in saying they likely had at least one Goddess in their pantheon.

The Goddess has always been a part of us, a part of our world. She is the earth mother who nurtures us and sustains life. She is the moon who pulls at our waters, the sun that guides us each day. Yes, some cultures identify the sun with goddesses and some identify the moon with gods.

We see The Goddess in every person we meet. It is our job to look for the divine in each person and in nature around us, and honor that. Every person who calls themselves woman carries aspects of The Goddess. They show her to us in so many wonderful ways. Every person who calls themselves man carries aspects of The Goddess as well. They show her to us in myriad ways, sometimes obviously but not always. Those who are gender neutral or fluid or who are nonbinary also show us aspects of The Goddess. We can find her everywhere we look and see her reflected back at us in unique ways.

Regardless of where we find her, or how we find her, she is there. The Goddess birthed us all. And in doing so, she gave each of us a piece of her to carry, to connect us with her, and to make sure we find our way home at the end of our journey. Hail The Goddess! 

Emily Guenther is a co-owner of The Broom Closet metaphysical shop. She is a Memphis native, professional tarot reader, ordained Pagan clergy, and dog mom.