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News of the Weird: Week of 11/21/24

A Load of Bologna

U.S. Customs and Border Protection shuts down smuggling attempts on a daily basis, but what its officers caught on Sept. 23 at the Presidio, Texas, port of entry wasn’t the usual contraband. While inspecting a vehicle being driven into the U.S., CBP personnel discovered 748 pounds of Mexican bologna. The New York Post reported that 40 rolls of the deli meat were hidden in a number of suitcases throughout the vehicle. CBP Presidio Port director Benito Reyes Jr. said in a news release that “the concern with pork products is that they have the potential to introduce foreign animal diseases that can have devastating effects to the U.S. economy and to our agriculture industry.” The driver, an American citizen, was issued a $1,000 civil penalty; the bologna was destroyed per USDA regulations. [WHAM-13, 9/28/2024]

Kung Faux Panda

As the old saying goes, if it (sorta) looks like a panda, but walks, barks, and pants like a dog … it’s a dog. Canoe.com reported that a Chinese zoo in the southern Guangdong province has admitted what many had already guessed: that its “pandas” were actually dogs with their fur painted. Some zoo visitors used social media to share photos and videos of the critters doing very un-pandalike things, such as panting, barking, and wagging long tails. Commenters had a field day: “It’s a PANdog,” one wrote, while another called it “the Temu version of a panda.” Once the posts went viral, zoo officials admitted they had painted two chow chow dogs. Some visitors have since demanded refunds. [Canoe.com, 9/20/24] 

Single-Engine Drama

• En route from Nebraska to Oregon on Sept. 21, a single-engine plane made an emergency landing on Highway 25 north of Cheyenne, Wyoming, Cowboy State Daily reported. Levi and Kelsi Dutton, who were traveling south on the highway when the plane landed in front of them, offered assistance to the pilot, who identified himself as Steve. The pilot calmly inspected the plane’s fuel line before announcing, “I got the tools right here. I’ll just open it up, figure out what’s going on, and get her fixed.” After making the repair, Steve hopped back aboard the plane and, as the Duttons stopped traffic to free up a runway space, taxied south and took off for Cheyenne Regional Airport, where he could do a more thorough inspection. [Cowboy State Daily, 9/21/24]

• Another single-engine plane made news on Sept. 17 when, shortly after taking off from Myrtle Beach International Airport in South Carolina, a door fell off and landed in the yard of a vacant home, WBMF News reported. The pilot and passenger on board were unharmed. Witness Wendy Hodges, who lives next door to the vacant house, hurried home after learning of the incident, and found the intact door in the neighbor’s yard. “It was definitely really lucky that there was no damage or no one was hurt,” said Hodges. “As a matter of fact, there’s a plane flying right now, but I will certainly make sure I start looking up.” [WBMF, 9/18/24]

Missed Their Exit?

WSVN in Miami reported on Sept. 21 that an SUV fell from an overpass on I-95, crashing through a fence below and narrowly missing a bystander — and miraculously, both driver and passenger walked away, apparently unscathed. Those nearby rushed to help, including Mariah Lewis, who offered a knife from her glove box to aid in cutting the driver and passenger out of their seatbelts. “It’s just by the grace of God that the people lived, because I don’t understand how you fall from that high and [live],” she said. Both occupants were checked by paramedics, and the driver was taken to a local trauma center for observation. “It was bad, but it could have been worse,” Lewis said. “I was just telling my daughter I’m so grateful. You’ve got to be grateful for life.” [WSVN, 9/21/24

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News of the Weird: Week of 11/14/24

Awesome!

Student volunteers were helping out with an archaeological dig in Eu, France, when one of them found a small glass bottle inside an earthenware pot, United Press International reported. Inside the bottle was a message, written in January 1825, from one “P.J. Feret, a native of Dieppe, member of various intellectual societies.” Feret was carrying out excavations at the same site and left the message for future explorers. “It was an absolutely magic moment,” said Guillaume Blondel, head of the town’s Regional Archaeology Service. Local records revealed that Feret was a well-known archaeologist of his time. Blondel said such finds are rare: “Most archaeologists prefer to think that there won’t be anyone coming after them because they’ve done all the work.” [UPI, 9/24/2024]

It’s Good To Have a Hobby

Joshua Kiser of Breinigsville, Pennsylvania, was looking for something to amuse himself during the Covid shutdown in 2020 when he came across an idea: “I stumbled upon a picture of the eccentric man posing with a gigantic top hat on his head,” Kiser said, referring to Odilon Ozare, who set the record for World’s Tallest Hat in 2018. Kiser thought it would be easy to surpass Ozare’s 15-foot, 9-inch hat, but it wasn’t until this year that he managed to engineer one, at 17 feet, 9.5 inches, that could withstand a walk of the required 32.8 feet while wearing it. United Press International reported that his final, winning design incorporated lightweight guttering and a Philadelphia Eagles trash can that “looked about the circumference of my noggin.” [UPI, 9/26/2024]

Freaky

A 27-foot-tall puppet in the shape of a seated baby was installed in the center of the town of Rochdale, England, the BBC reported on Sept. 25. The baby, named Lilly, with a mouth and eyes that open and shut, was part of a council project to encourage schoolchildren to talk about the importance of the environment. Ostensibly, the kids spoke to Lilly; their conversations were recorded and broadcast from the baby at an event on Oct. 24 at Hollingworth Lake Nature Park. But townsfolk weren’t warming up to Lilly, calling it “the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.” One said, “It’s creepy with its eyes shut, never mind open.” No telling how school-aged kids reacted to it. [BBC, 9/25/2024]

Overreaction

A 58-year-old Simcoe, Ontario, Canada, woman, Wendy Washik, was taken into custody on Sept. 1 and charged with assault with a weapon, the CBC reported. The charges stemmed from an incident at a backyard party when Washik, who was playing with a child, accidentally shot a neighbor with a water gun while he mowed his lawn. Washik said she apologized repeatedly, but the “victim” “wouldn’t listen to me and … was screaming at me.” She said police “didn’t ask me a single question. They didn’t ask to see the water gun.” Washik was due in court on Sept. 24. [CBC, 9/13/2024]

Bright Idea

A Florida man (of course) was rescued late on Sept. 23 after he apparently attempted to swim across the Detroit River from Windsor, Canada, to Detroit, CBS News reported. The U.S. Mail Boat J.W. Westcott II was launched after hearing of the swimmer, who was using a life ring to help support himself. “There’s a very strong current, and the water temperature is about 73 degrees right now,” said Capt. Neil Schultheiss. “Even with the life ring, he was struggling.” The boat picked up the swimmer after about 10 minutes of searching. Crew members said he seemed disoriented and under the influence. “He just kind of kept pacing around the front deck, saying, ‘Is this boat U.S.? Are we going back to the U.S.?’” Schultheiss said. He was transferred to an EMS unit. [CBS News, 9/24/2024]

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News of the Weird: Week of 11/07/24

Least Competent Criminal

When 33-year-old Ravesh Rabindranauth attempted to steal a Corvette in a Miami Beach, Florida, parking garage on Sept. 17, he encountered a little trouble, Local10-TV reported. He got stuck inside the car, which is where its owner, Julio Solano, found him. “Can I get out?” Rabindranauth asked Solano as Solano recorded the incident on his phone. “No, you can’t get out. We’re calling the police.” Solano said the car’s security system wouldn’t allow the thief to start the car or escape. “He didn’t know about the manual door release under the seat,” Solano said. Rabindranauth was held at the Turner Guilford Knight Correctional Center on $2,500 bond. [Local10, 9/18/2024]

Crème de la Weird

Literally. Sean Edward Uribe, 35, was arrested on Sept. 12 in the wake of two incidents over the summer at Miami clothing stores, The Smoking Gun reported. During the first encounter, at a Ross Dress for Less in June, Uribe allegedly used a medical syringe to squirt a substance on the back of the shorts of a juvenile as he recorded with his phone, police said. Witnesses alerted store employees and the victim as Uribe fled the scene. In late August at a Marshalls store, Uribe allegedly struck again, this time targeting an adult woman to “spray an unknown substance on the victim’s left buttocks area,” police said. When Uribe was taken into custody, he confessed and said the liquid in the syringes was moisturizing lotion. Then he called his father, as police listened, and instructed him to go to his house and remove hard drives. “Put them under lock and key,” he said. Officers got there first and seized the drives, along with loaded syringes. So far, he’s been charged with battery on a child, two misdemeanor battery counts, and tampering with evidence. [The Smoking Gun, 9/19/2024]

The Golden Age of Air Travel

A Scandinavian Airlines flight from Oslo, Norway, to Malaga, Spain, was diverted to Copenhagen, Denmark, on Sept. 18 after a mouse crawled out of a passenger’s in-flight meal, the BBC reported. Jarle Borrestad, who was sitting next to the passenger whose meal harbored the rodent, told the BBC that people on board remained calm, but he put his socks over his pant legs so the mouse couldn’t crawl up his leg. Oystein Schmidt, SAS spokesperson, said such events happen “extremely rarely”; passengers were transferred to another plane and went on their way. [BBC, 9/20/2024]

Oops

On Sept. 24, as the Kamloops, British Columbia, city council met in the council chambers, someone zooming in online queued up a pornographic video clip while sharing their screen, the CBC reported. The council’s public participation segment of the meeting allows people to ask questions or comment on agenda items, but Councilman Bill Sarai said Tuesday’s incident was the final straw for him. “It’s really swayed far, far away from what it’s meant to be,” Sarai said. He wants to eliminate the public portion of the meeting and ask the public to interact through email or in-person meetings. [CBC, 9/25/2024]

Awesome!

In November, Stack’s Bowers Galleries in Boston will offer an extremely rare three-pence coin from 1652 for auction, CBS News reported. The coin, which was minted in Boston at the Hull Mint, was purchased from a shop in the Netherlands. It is one of only three known coins like it, one of which was stolen and hasn’t been seen since. Store manager Stanley Chu expects it to fetch well over $1 million. [CBS News, 9/20/2024]

Overreaction

Socorro Camacho, 54, died in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, on Sept. 23 after getting into a dispute with another man over a song played on a jukebox, WSVN-TV reported. The argument started in the wee hours at Antojitos Mexicanos restaurant when Camacho insulted the other man over his song choice, witnesses said. The insulted man “pulled his weapon and started shooting,” Mauro Bonilla said. Fort Lauderdale police are investigating and trying to identify the gunman. [WSVN, 9/23/2024]

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News of the Weird: Week of 10/31/24

Police Report

Javaughn J. Owens, 23, was charged with first-degree attempted murder after he got into a dispute over a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on Sept. 15, the DeKalb County Daily Chronicle reported. A witness told DeKalb police that Owens and another man argued about the victim “not cleaning up after themselves,” whereupon Owens swung a butter knife and struck the other man. The victim was seen at a local hospital but had to be transported to Chicago for further treatment of a punctured intestine. He said he believed “100%” that Owens would kill him. Owens faces up to 60 years in prison. [Daily Chronicle, 9/17/2024]

Inexplicable

Beaches along the Atlantic Ocean in Delaware, Maryland, and Virginia were closed to swimmers by authorities on Sept. 15 after mysterious medical waste started washing up, The New York Times reported. The trash included syringes and needles, used feminine hygiene products, and plastic cigar tips. “We currently have no idea where it came from and will not be speculating about a source,” said the National Park Service office at Assateague Island National Seashore. They were unsure how long beaches would remain closed. “We recommend wearing shoes on the beach and avoiding the ocean entirely,” warned Joe Theobald, director of Emergency Services in Ocean City, Maryland. [NY Times, 9/17/2024]

Saw That Coming

Norton Havoc, 32, can now “smell colors,” they said, after blowing their nose in the shower and dislodging a Lego block that had been stuck inside for “at least 26 years,” the New York Post reported. Havoc posted that they suffered from “multiple breathing issues” after the childhood incident; at the time, their mom tried to extricate the piece with tweezers, to no avail. “I can breathe out of this side of my nose now, and it’s fantastic,” Havoc said. [NY Post, 9/14/2024]

The Way the World Works

Vacaville, California, resident Ken Wilson is VERY careful about his consumption of electricity. “I was being very vigilant on this,” he told KMAX-TV. “Every day that I go to work, I turn the breakers off.” He also purchased a device that tells him how many watts of energy his appliances use. But recently he noticed that his bill was higher than normal. Wilson has lived in an apartment, unit 91 of his building, for 18 years. After Wilson called PG&E to come out and check his meter on Sept. 10, he discovered he’s been paying for unit 90’s electricity usage for years. PG&E admitted the mix-up and said it is “fully committed to rectifying the situation.” Wilson said he hopes the story can help others with similar problems. [KMAX, 9/16/2024]

Politics, Am I Right?

As candidates for mayor in Sao Paulo, Brazil, took to the stage for a televised debate on Sept. 15, Pablo Marcal referred to allegations of sexual misconduct against his rival, Jose Luiz Datena, the Associated Press reported. In response, Datena picked up a metal chair and approached Marcal’s podium, then slammed the chair into Marcal’s side. The moderator cut to commercials, and later the debate resumed without Marcal, who was rushed to a hospital with a fractured rib cage. Marcal portrayed the event as “attempted homicide,” while Datena admitted his mistake but said he didn’t regret it “at all.” [AP, 9/16/2024]

Explosive!

Magnet fisher and YouTuber Dani Dip pulled a provocative find out of the Saint Joseph River in South Bend, Indiana, on Sept. 1, ABC57-TV reported. “We believe this is a 175mm Howitzer round from like a stationary cannon back in the day,” Dip said. “It took four people to pull this big 2-foot round over the wall to safety so it wouldn’t fall back in and potentially go off.” The South Bend Police Department said further testing would be necessary to make sure the charge is not live. “We’re just here to help and clean out the river and see what we can find,” Dip said. [ABC57, 9/3/2024]

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News of the Weird: Week of 10/17/24

Celebrities: They’re Just Like Us!

The famous-for-being-famous crowd lit up with a dirty little story in mid-June about Derek Blasberg, 42, a “professional best friend to celebrities,” having a blowout time at Gwyneth Paltrow’s guest cottage in the Hamptons. Variety reported that Blasberg was outed as the culprit behind an “intense bowel movement” that caused considerable damage. Insiders say Blasberg cited his use of the diabetes drug Ozempic as the cause of his distress, but one doubter pooh-poohed the idea: “That’s just what he told everyone.” [Variety, 7/5/2024]

Woof!

This year’s Anthrocon gathering in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, was about much more than meeting other “furry” friends, KDKA-TV reported. The convention, held on July 4-7, draws people who like to dress as animals and their fans and raises money for charity; this year, donations were solicited for Gray Paws Sanctuary, a Pittsburgh-based volunteer organization dedicated to rescuing senior dogs. With thousands of furries attending the gathering, Anthrocon brought in $100,000 for Gray Paws, breaking a fundraising record. Darla Poole Brescia with Gray Paws was ecstatic: “A hundred-thousand is about our annual operating budget, so we are able to save twice as many dogs this year. The Anthrocon people are the nicest people.” [KDKA, 7/9/2024]

Precocious

A family in Bedford, Ohio, reported their Nissan Rogue and their 8-year-old daughter missing around 9 a.m. on Sept. 15, the Associated Press reported. Police learned that witnesses had seen a small child driving nearby, but it wasn’t until they checked the parking lot at Target, about 13 miles away, that they discovered the car. The girl was inside the store; she told officers that she had hit a mailbox during her journey, but otherwise it went fine. Authorities were weighing whether any charges would be filed. [AP, 9/16/2024] 

Awesome!

Poor Crumbs. The now-famous corpulent cat, named for his ability to eat, was found in early September in the basement of a hospital in Perm, Russia, the New York Post reported, where the staff had given him a steady diet of cookies and soup. When he was discovered, he weighed more than 37 pounds — about three times the average size for a cat — and was unable to support his weight to walk. Crumbs (or Kroshik, in Russian) was moved to the Matroskin Shelter, where workers put him on a strict diet and exercise regimen — apparently not his cup of tea, as he tried to escape on Sept. 11. Rehab expert Ekaterina Bedakova said Crumbs was “extremely displeased” when, during his escape attempt, he got himself stuck in a shoe rack and couldn’t get out. But she was enthused about his effort because it demonstrated that he’s a “very active guy.” [NY Post, 9/13/2024]

News You Can Use

• In Japan, the number of people aged 100 or older has hit a new record — 95,119, AFP reported on Sept. 17. Most of the centenarians are women, the Ministry of Internal Affairs and Communications noted. The world’s oldest person, Tomiko Itooka of western Japan, is 116. Japan’s oldest man, Kiyotaka Mizuno, 110, told local media that he has “no idea at all about what’s the secret to my long life.” [AFP, 9/17/2024]

• About 40 feet off the coast of Miami Beach, the world’s first underwater cemetery is already home to about 1,500 “placements,” ClickOrlando reported on Sept. 17. The Neptune Memorial Reef’s community resource director, Michael Tabers, said the area had already been designated for an artificial reef when “a group of businessmen in the area … had the idea.” The reef was built “from an artist conception of the Lost City of Atlantis”; customers’ cremains are mixed with water and then formed into road columns, archways, or depictions of local sea life, such as starfish or seashells. Then the coral grows around them. “We have sea turtle placements; those are some of our more popular ones,” Taber said. The reef has already been extended once, but when it fills up, “we will launch the next phase,” he said. Coral reef conservation activists are thrilled; the reef provides hard surfaces that help coral to thrive. And loved ones can also dive to visit their family members’ resting places. [ClickOrlando, 9/17/2024]

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News of the Weird: Week of 10/10/24

That Rule Doesn’t Apply to Me:
South Africa Edition

On July 7 in South Africa, a visitor to the Pilanesberg National Park lost his life after being trampled by an elephant, CTV News reported. The 43-year-old man was driving through the park when he left his car and approached a herd to take photographs, police said. Three other people in the car were unharmed. The elephant herd included young calves, which may have made the adults more aggressive. Piet Nel, chief conservation officer for the North West Parks and Tourism Board, said visitors are explicitly instructed not to leave their cars. “We must remember that you are entering a wild area,” he said. [CTV News, 7/9/2024]

Ignominious

The San Diego Humane Society has put the city on the map, but maybe not in a good way. CBS8-TV reported on July 8 that the SDHS claims the city has more fleas than any other city in the United States, making its pets miserable. “We have a perfect climate here, where it is warm year-round,” said Zarah Hedge, chief medical officer at the SDHS. “It’s just a perfect environment for them to live in.” Hedge recommended pet owners talk to their veterinarians about treatment. Or, you could move. [CBS8, 7/8/2024]

Oh, the Christianity!

Roger Allan Holmberg Sr., 75, pastor of Grace Baptist Temple in Anchorage, Alaska, was arrested on July 2 after assaulting his wife, who has epilepsy, on a flight from Seattle to Anchorage, ABC News reported. The conflict started when Holmberg’s wife got upgraded to first class, and he didn’t. Shortly after liftoff, Holmberg appeared in the first-class cabin and asked his wife, “How the hell did you get the upgrade?” She answered, “I’m a gold point member. Don’t speak to me like that.” Holmberg returned to his seat but then approached again, asking his wife to read what was on his phone, after which he gave her the finger. During the third confrontation, according to the complaint, Holmberg “attempted to swing his arm towards [the victim]” and struck “the top of the victim’s head with his hand.” An off-duty police officer on board told Holmberg if there were any more incidents during the flight, he would have to wear handcuffs. An FBI agent met the plane when it landed and arrested Holmberg on one count of simple assault. Alaska Airlines said it had banned him from its flights. [ABC News, 7/9/2024]

Alarming Headline

Four Sri Lankan fishermen are dead and two others are critically ill after they drank from bottles they found floating in the ocean, the BBC reported on June 29. The Sri Lankan Navy said the fishers thought the bottles contained alcohol, and they distributed some bottles to other crews fishing in the area. The navy said it treated the men aboard their craft, the Devon, and got them back to shore. Authorities planned to test the contents of the bottles to determine what the sailors drank. [BBC, 6/29/2024]

Bright Idea

After Daniel Jean, 39, and Esmy Valdez, 38, of Brooklyn, New York, exchanged wedding vows on June 27, they celebrated with friends at an unconventional venue: the New York subway L train, according to the New York Post. The couple hosted 20 invited guests — plus a bunch of strangers — on July 2 at a “dope reception,” Jean said. “We didn’t have the money to do the dream reception that I’d always envisioned,” he said. But for only $3,000, the couple had food catered by O’s Grill Spot, a cake, drinks and music. Valdez was charmed: “When I walked onto the train and saw everything, I thought, ‘Wow, I picked the right guy,’” she said. “Our reception was all about love.” [NY Post, 7/3/2024]

The Tech Revolution

Welcome to the 21st century, Japan! Reuters reported on July 3 that the government had eliminated all use of floppy disks in all its systems. “We have won the war on floppy disks on June 28!” announced Digital Minister Taro Kono. What a relief! [Reuters, 7/3/2024]

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News of the Weird: Week of 10/03/24

Compelling Explanation

Dontcha hate it when you throw your husband a party and he’s just not grateful enough? Kinda makes you want to poison him — or at least that’s how 47-year-old Michelle Peters of Lebanon, Missouri, reacted, according to The Kansas City Star. On June 24, Peters was held for questioning by the Laclede County Sheriff’s Office after her husband notified police that he became “afraid for his life” after noticing that the Mountain Dew in the garage fridge “tasted weird” and he started experiencing sore throat, vomiting, and “coughing up brown/yellow thick mucus,” authorities said. He looked at video footage from his garage and saw his wife take the soda bottle and a Roundup bottle into the house. Peters initially told officers that she mixed the liquids “to use as a weed killer that she saw on Pinterest,” but eventually confessed, saying she “was mad … because she had thrown him a 50th birthday and he was not appreciative,” police said. She was charged with first-degree assault and armed criminal action. [KC Star, 6/26/2024]

But Was It Unhappy?

In the apparent first case of robotic suicide, an administrative officer robot at Gumi City Council in South Korea threw itself down a 6-and-a-half-foot-long flight of steps, France24 reported on June 26. Witnesses saw the robot, which could travel between floors on the elevator and had its own civil servant officer badge, “circling in one spot as if something was there” before the fall, but it wasn’t clear what caused the mishap. “It was … one of us,” an official said. “It worked diligently.” [France24, 6/26/2024]

Low Expectations

On July 29, Michael Patrick Fleming, 41, entered the Chase bank branch in Lady Lake, Florida, and handed the teller a withdrawal slip, The Smoking Gun reported. Fleming did not have an account at the bank and requested just 1 cent; he later told officers his plan was to get the penny, then “sit in the chair and wait for law enforcement.” His goal was to be arrested — and it worked. Fleming was charged with felony robbery and held on $5,000 bond. [The Smoking Gun, 7/3/2024]

Awesome!

Betcha didn’t know about the Merlympics in Geneva, Switzerland. The event, in existence since 2015, is designed to “prove athleticism” among mermaid competitors, KSL-TV reported. At the May games, Mia Sim, 22, of Provo, Utah, secured her title as the fastest mermaid in the world. Sim has been mermaiding for 10 years; at the Merlympics, athletes must compete in five categories, including ecology (diving to the bottom and picking up trash); underwater posing for photographs; and rescue (swimming to “save” a submerged dummy) — all while wearing full mermaid or merman gear. “It’s not a skill that’s easily learned,” Sim said of mermaiding. “This type of restriction on your body is very difficult for people to understand.” She has now been inducted into Team USA and hopes other Utah mermaids will aspire to such heights. [KSL-TV, 7/7/2024]

Keep Digging

During a court hearing on July 2 in Crown Point, Indiana, defendant Devontae Harris, 26, just couldn’t keep his shovel quiet, the Chicago Tribune reported. Lake Superior Court Judge Gina Jones was hearing Harris’ argument for a plea deal in a stalking and battery case from November 2022, but when she denied the deal, Harris called her names and said, “… you think you know about stuff. I done killed [people]. I got bodies under my belt. Go solve them.” He also threatened to throw his chair at the judge and asked her to perform a sex act on him. Jones added 210 days to Harris’ jail term, increasing it to 13 months. [Chicago Tribune, 7/5/2024]

Weird in the Wild

Bigfoot walks among us — or at least among campers in Louisiana, MSN reported. On June 28, the Natchitoches Parish Sheriff’s Office responded to a call for help from a group of campers, high school graduates from Houma, Louisiana, who were celebrating their matriculation. The kids were camping in Kisatchie National Forest and told officers they heard growling and saw a 5-foot-tall animal with glowing eyes. Officers were unable to locate the creature, but they escorted the campers back to their vehicle. [MSN, 7/2/2024]

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News of the Weird: Week of 09/19/24

Alarming Headline

A sinkhole 100 feet wide and 100 feet deep opened up on June 26, smack-dab in the middle of a soccer complex in Alton, Illinois, The Telegraph reported. The fields are built over an operating limestone mine; the field collapsed above the ceiling of the mine, which is 40 to 50 feet thick. Alton Parks and Recreation Director Michael Haynes said the fields were empty and no one was injured in the collapse, including miners. Along with the artificial turf, the hole sucked up benches and a light pole on the field. [Telegraph, 6/26/2024]

Ewwwww!

Residents of Pomfret, Connecticut, ended their day on a crappy note on June 25, WVIT-TV reported. That evening, a manure truck rolled over in an intersection, hitting another car and spilling its stinky load. “It was literally a waterfall of brown,” said Ann Bedard, whose house lies at the intersection where the crash occurred. “It just flooded down our property.” Workers cleaned up the several inches of manure; the truck also spilled fuel and hydraulic fluid, but the fire department declared no immediate safety threat and said the water was safe to use. [WVIT, 6/27/2024]

Crime Report

Outside the Holy Family Roman Catholic Church in Queens, New York, on June 30, surveillance video captured an SUV taxi driving up, parking, and disgorging the driver around 5:30 a.m., the New York Post reported. The man was then seen removing a shoe and using it to batter statues of Mary and Joseph, which were unharmed, before turning his footwear on a child Jesus statue and decapitating it. The vandal returned to his car, shoe in hand, and drove away. Father Sean Suckiel said the statue, which “holds special meaning to many in our parish,” had stood at the church for 42 years, and repairing it will cost $20,000. [NY Post, 7/1/2024] 

New World Order

A two-person crew from DroneUp, a commercial drone services company that is partnering with Walmart in Florida, was demonstrating the delivery service on June 26 in The Overlook at Lake Louisa in Lake County, Florida, when they heard a loud pop, ClickOrlando reported. They believed what they heard was a gunshot, so the crew and the drone high-tailed it back to Walmart, where deputies met them. The drone had a bullet hole in its payload area; officers returned to the neighborhood, where they discovered 72-year-old Dennis Winn. Winn told them he had been working on his swimming pool pump when the drone flew over; he shot it with a 9mm handgun because he suspected drones had been surveilling him in the past. As he was arrested, he shouted to a neighbor that he was being taken into custody for shooting a drone. Winn faces multiple charges; the drone sustained about $2,500 in damage. [ClickOrlando, 6/27/2024]

Democracy in Action

The 8th House District in Eugene, Oregon, held a primary election in late June, with two contenders, Lisa Fragala and Doyle Canning, receiving the same number of votes (seven), the Oregon Capital Chronicle reported. Both are Democrats, but since there was no Republican candidate in the race, one of them could have claimed the Republican nomination — theoretically. State law requires that a tie be broken by a roll of the dice or a coin toss, so the deputy election director, Luke Belant, prepared to flip the coin. Canning won the toss, but strangely, she is ineligible under the state’s “sore-loser law”; because she lost the Democratic primary, she was unable to accept the nomination of any other party. Therefore, Fragala will be the only person on the ballot in November unless the Republican Party chooses a candidate. “The lesson here for any political party is to field a candidate,” Canning said. [Oregon Capital Chronicle, 6/27/2024]

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Fun Stuff News of the Weird

News of the Weird: Week of 09/12/24

Redneck Chronicles

At the Walmart in Eunice, Louisiana, police were called around 3:30 p.m. on June 22 about a group of women who were fighting, KADN-TV reported. They arrested Brionka Benjamin, 38, and her niece, Makatelynn Benjamin, 20, for simple battery, but Brionka got an additional charge: When the fight began, police discovered on surveillance video, she allegedly tossed her baby into a trash can near the entrance to the store so her hands would be free to slug another woman. She was charged with cruelty to juveniles; the baby was unharmed and released to relatives. [KADN, 6/24/2024]

It’s Good to Have a Hobby (Horse)

Some 260 riders from 22 countries showed up to the 11th annual Finnish Hobby Horse Championships in Seinajoki, Finland, on June 15, AFP reported. We could stop right there, but why would we? Hobby horsing involves people riding stick horses through a series of jumps, intricate dressage moves, and Western riding events. While hobby horsing is not recognized as an official sport in Finland, participants take it seriously. “We have faced so much bullying and judgment,” rider Nara Arlin, 24, said. Even so, the sport “is growing every year,” said Julia Mikkonen, chair of the Finnish hobby horse association. She notes the athleticism involved in some of the events: “If you jump over obstacles, your hip mobility has to be absolutely insane,” she said. She estimates there are about 10,000 hobby horsers worldwide. [AFP, 6/26/2024]

Awesome!

Fans of 1960s kitschy TV show Batman will not be surprised to learn that trusty sidekick Robin (also known as Burt Ward) has received the President’s Lifetime Achievement Award for rescuing more than 15,000 pets. WTOP-TV reported on June 26 that at the same ceremony, Ward and his wife received the United Nations Association of the United States of America Humanitarian Award for their work saving 45 different breeds of dogs. The former Boy Wonder said he and his wife “want to leave this planet better off than when we found it.” (We must have missed the episode when Robin found Earth.)

News That Sounds Like a Joke

• On June 24 in a federal by-election in Toronto, Canada, candidate Felix-Antoine Hamel, 45, made history: He received zero votes. The CBC reported that Hamel was approached by a friend to add his name to the ballot, one of the longest in Canadian history, as part of a protest against Canada’s electoral system. “Well, I am the true unity candidate,” Hamel said. “Everyone agrees not to vote for me.” Hamel couldn’t even vote for himself, as he is from Montreal, not Toronto. “I’m one of the last people that would be expected to make Canadian history in any way,” the musician said. [CBC, 6/27/2024]

• Jillian Uygun, 22, of Seminole, Florida, just wanted a cuddle from her boyfriend on June 29, The Smoking Gun reported. But when he refused her, they argued about the “victim’s disinterest,” police said. The next morning, Uygun repeatedly tried to snuggle with the boyfriend — then allegedly took it up a notch, grabbing his chest hair, scratching his face, biting him on the forehead, and breaking his phone. She was arrested for domestic battery, and a judge ordered her to have no contact with her cuddle-resistant boyfriend. [Smoking Gun, 7/1/2024]

Saw That Coming 

Rolling Stone reported on July 2 that prolific baby daddy and host of The Masked Singer Nick Cannon has recently insured his “most valuable assets” for $10 million. “You hear about, like, all these different celebrities insuring their legs … so I was like, ‘Hey, well, I got to insure my most valuable body part,’” Cannon said. Even better, the “Ball-to-Ball” policy was taken out with Dr. Squatch, a men’s grooming company that invites users to find the “value of their balls.” The father of 12 (with five different mamas) said he’s “doubling down on … my future kids.” [Rolling Stone, 7/2/2024]

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NEWS OF THE WEIRD
© 2024 Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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Categories
Fun Stuff News of the Weird

News of the Weird: Week of 08/29/24

The Tech Revolution

At Crescent Regional Hospital near Dallas, Texas, patients are for the first time in the U.S. consulting with doctors via hologram, ABC News reported on June 26. The technology, designed by Dutch company Holoconnects, features a life-sized 3D image of the doctor in real time. Raji Kumar, the hospital’s CEO, said the technology will reduce doctors’ travel time between hospitals and clinics. “They can just hop into the studio to have the consult,” she said. She hopes to expand the program to rural hospitals in the area. [ABC News, 6/26/2024]

How Hot Is It?

It’s so hot … Abe Lincoln’s legs are falling off. A 6-foot-tall wax replica of the sculpture of our 16th president inside the Lincoln Memorial is succumbing to the extreme temperatures in Washington, D.C., the Washington Post reported on June 24. The statue was placed on the campus of Garrison Elementary School in February with the idea of drawing attention to the Civil War and its aftermath. But as the heat dome settled over the capital, he started melting. “The idea was that the ambient temperature, unless it got to 140 degrees, wouldn’t melt the sculpture,” said artist Sandy Williams IV of Richmond, Virginia. But “even his poor legs are starting to come unglued,” said Melissa Krull, 41, who lives nearby. Lincoln’s head lolled so far backward that the nonprofit that commissioned the work removed it, with plans to restore it to its perch when temps moderated. [Washington Post, 6/24/2024]

Least Competent Criminal

Kelsey Lynn Schnetzler, 34, of Salisbury, Missouri, was charged with stealing thousands of dollars’ worth of lottery tickets from her employer, Casey’s General Store, KTVO-TV reported. Schnetzler’s home-court MO may have been what got her nicked: Every evening during her shift, she told police, she would put a cup over the camera in the store and unlock the safe where the tickets were stored. Her burglaries took place between October 2023 and March 2024; the 36 lottery books she stole were valued at $24,000. She cashed winning tickets in at Casey’s and other locations. She was charged with felony stealing. [KTVO, 6/20/2024]

Pay No Attention to the Body in the Backseat

On the morning of June 22, after Margot Lewis, 32, of North Liberty, Iowa, crashed her car in Olmsted County, Minnesota, police arrived at the scene, the Des Moines Register reported. There they discovered the dead body of 35-year-old Liara Tsai of Minneapolis in the back seat. Tsai was “wrapped in a bedsheet, a blanket, a futon-style mattress, and a tarp,” court documents said. Police said Tsai also had a “large wound on the right side of the neck around the carotid artery.” The medical examiner determined that Tsai’s injuries were not related to the motor vehicle accident. Lewis was arrested for interference with a dead body; her unconditional bond was set at $1 million. [Des Moines Register, 6/26/2024]

Ewwwwwwwww!

The CBC reported on June 18 that conditions at Her Majesty’s Penitentiary in St. John’s, Newfoundland and Labrador, have deteriorated so drastically that inmates are literally sharing cells — and more — with rats. Inmate Devon Fitzpatrick told an interviewer that he woke up one morning to the feeling of something moving in the crotch of his pants; when he reached down, he found a rat had given birth there. “Stuff like that happens on a regular basis,” he said of the Victorian-era facility. “They climb on the tables, they climb up the pipes and the wires. They’re everywhere.” He said he’s been bitten about 20 times. Fitzpatrick also described other dehumanizing conditions at the prison; the government has said it’s working with a company to build a new prison, but no improvements have been made in the meantime. [CBC, 6/18/2024]

Send your weird news items with subject line WEIRD NEWS to WeirdNewsTips@amuniversal.com.

NEWS OF THE WEIRD
© 2024 Andrews McMeel Syndication.
Reprinted with permission.
All rights reserved.