Category: Fun Stuff

ARIES (March 21-April 19): In the coming weeks, you may be tempted to spar and argue more than usual. You could get sucked into the fantasy that it would make sense to wrangle, feud, and bicker. But I hope you sublimate those tendencies. The same hot energy that might lead to excessive skirmishing could just as well become a driving force to create robust harmony and resilient unity. If you simply dig further into your psyche’s resourceful depths, you will discover the inspiration to bargain, mediate, and negotiate with élan. Here’s a bold prediction: Healing compromises hammered out now could last a long time.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Question #1: “What subjects do you talk about to enchant and uplift a person who’s important to you?” Answer #1: “You talk about the feelings and yearnings of the person you hope to enchant and uplift.” Question #2: “How do you express your love with maximum intelligence?” Answer #2: “Before you ask your allies to alter themselves to enhance your relationship, you ask yourself how you might alter yourself to enhance your relationship.” Question #3: “What skill are you destined to master, even though it’s challenging for you to learn?” Answer #3: “Understanding the difference between supple passion and manic obsession.”

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In 1819, Gemini entrepreneur François-Louis Cailler became the first chocolatier to manufacture chocolate bars. His innovation didn’t save any lives, cure any disease, or fix any injustice. But it was a wonderful addition to humanity’s supply of delights. It enhanced our collective joy and pleasure. In the coming months, dear Gemini, I invite you to seek a comparable addition to your own personal world. What novel blessing might you generate or discover? What splendid resource can you add to your repertoire?

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Ayurnamat is a word used by the Inuit people. It refers to when you long for the relaxed tranquility that comes from not worrying about what can’t be changed. You wish you could accept or even welcome the truth about provocative situations with equanimity. Now here’s some very good news, Cancerian. In the coming weeks, you will not just yearn for this state of calm, but will also have a heightened ability to achieve it. Congratulations! It’s a liberating, saint-like accomplishment.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Healing will be more available to you than usual. You’re extra likely to attract the help and insight you need to revive and restore your mind, soul, and body. To get started, identify two wounds or discomforts you would love to alleviate. Then consider the following actions: 1. Ruminate about what helpers and professionals might be best able to assist you. Make appointments with them. 2. Perform a ritual in which you seek blessings from your liveliest spirit guides and sympathetic ancestors. 3. Make a list of three actions you will take to make yourself feel better. 4. Treat this process not a somber struggle, but as a celebration of your mounting vitality.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The Beatles were the best-selling band of all time and among the most influential, too. Their fame and fortune were well-earned. Many of the 186 songs they composed and recorded were beautiful, interesting, and entertaining. Yet none of four members of the band could read music. Their brilliance was intuitive and instinctual. Is there a comparable situation in your life, Virgo? A task or skill that you do well despite not being formally trained? If so, the coming months will be a good time to get better grounded. I invite you to fill in the gaps in your education.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In 2010, Edurne Pasaban became the first woman to climb the world’s tallest 14 mountains, reaching the top of Shishapangma in China. In 2018, Taylor Demonbreun arrived in Toronto, Canada, completing a quest in which she visited every sovereign nation on the planet in 18 months. In 1924, explorer Alexandra David-Néel pulled off the seemingly impossible feat of visiting Lhasa, Tibet, when that place was still forbidden to foreigners. Be inspired by these heroes as you ruminate about what frontier adventures you will dare to enjoy during the next six months. Design a plan to get all the educational and experimental fun you need.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Alnwick Garden is an unusual network of formal gardens in northeast England. Among its many entertaining features is the Poison Garden, which hosts 100 species of toxic and harmful plants like hemlock, strychnine, and deadly nightshade. It’s the most popular feature by far. Visitors enjoy finding out and investigating what’s not good for them. In accordance with astrological omens, Scorpio, I invite you to use this as an inspirational metaphor as you take inventory of influences that are not good for you. Every now and then, it’s healthy to acknowledge what you don’t need and shouldn’t engage with.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Sagittarian Tom Rath is an inspirational author who at age 49 has managed to stay alive even though he has wrangled with a rare disease since he was 16. He writes, “This is what I believe we should all aim for: to make contributions to others’ lives that will grow infinitely in our absence. A great commonality we all share is that we only have today to invest in what could outlive us.” That’s always good advice for everyone, but it’s especially rich counsel for you Sagittarians in the coming months. I believe you will have a special capacity to dispense your best gifts those who need and want them.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Capricorn writer Susan Sontag was a public intellectual. She was an academic with a scholarly focus and an entertaining commentator on the gritty hubbub of popular culture. One of my favorite quotes by her is this one: “I like to feel dumb. That’s how I know there’s more in the world than me.” In other words, she made sure her curiosity and open-mindedness flourished by always assuming she had much more to learn. I especially recommend this perspective to you in the coming weeks.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): The Salem Witch Trials took place in Massachusetts from 1692 to 1693. They were ignorant, superstitious prosecutions of people accused of practicing witchcraft. The modern holiday known as Freethought Day happens every October 12, the anniversary of the last witch trial. The purpose of this jubilee is to encourage us to treasure objective facts, to love using logic and reason, and to honor the value of critical thinking. It’s only observed in America now, but I propose we make it a global festival. You Aquarians are my choice to host this year’s revelries in celebration of Freethought Day. You are at the peak of your ability to generate clear, astute, liberating thoughts. Show us what it looks like to be a lucid, unbiased observer of reality.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): A YouTube presenter named Andy George decided to make a chicken sandwich. But he didn’t buy the ingredients in a store. He wanted to make the sandwich from scratch. Over the next six months, he grew wheat, ground it into flour, and used it to bake bread. He milked a cow to make cheese and butter. He got sea salt from ocean water and grew a garden of lettuce, cucumber, tomato, and dill for toppings. Finally, he went to a farm, bought a chicken, and did all that was necessary to turn the live bird into meat for the sandwich. In describing his process, I’m not suggesting you do something similar. Rather, I’m encouraging you to be thorough as you solidify your foundations in the coming months. Gather resources you will need for long-term projects. Be a connoisseur of the raw materials that will assure future success in whatever way you define success. 

ARIES (March 21-April 19): During some Wiccan rituals, participants are asked, “What binds you? And what will you do to free yourself from what binds you?” I recommend this exercise to you right now, Aries. Here’s a third question: Will you replace your shackles with a weaving that inspires and empowers you? In other words, will you shed what binds you and, in its stead, create a bond that links you to an influence you treasure?

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): If I had to name the zodiac sign that other signs are most likely to underestimate, I would say Taurus. Why? Well, many of you Bulls are rather modest and humble. You prefer to let your practical actions speak louder than fine words. Your well-grounded strength is diligent and poised, not flashy. People may misread your resilience and dependability as signs of passivity. But here’s good news, dear Taurus: In the coming weeks, you will be less likely to be undervalued and overlooked. Even those who have been ignorant of your appeal may tune in to the fullness of your tender power and earthy wisdom.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In the coming days, I invite you to work on writing an essay called “People and Things I Never Knew I Liked and Loved Until Now.” To get the project started, visit places that have previously been off your radar. Wander around in uncharted territory, inviting life to surprise you. Call on every trick you know to stimulate your imagination and break out of habitual ruts of thinking. A key practice will be to experiment and improvise as you open your heart and your eyes wide. Here’s my prophecy: In the frontiers, you will encounter unruly delights that inspire you to grow wiser.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Now is an excellent time to search for new teachers, mentors, and role models. Please cooperate with life’s intention to connect you with people and animals who can inspire your journey for the months and years ahead. A good way to prepare yourself for this onslaught of grace is to contemplate the history of your educational experiences. Who are the heroes, helpers, and villains who have taught you crucial lessons? Another strategy to get ready is to think about what’s most vital for you to learn right now. What are the gaps in your understanding that need to be filled?

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The English language has more synonyms than any other language. That’s in part because it’s like a magpie. It steals words from many tongues, including German, French, Old Norse, Latin, and Greek, as well as from Algonquin, Chinese, Hindi, Basque, and Tagalog. Japanese may be the next most magpie-like language. It borrows from English, Chinese, Portuguese, Dutch, French, and German. In accordance with astrological possibilities, I invite you to adopt the spirit of the English and Japanese languages in the coming weeks. Freely borrow and steal influences. Be a collector of sundry inspirations, a scavenger of fun ideas, a gatherer of rich cultural diversity.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Here are my bold decrees: You are entitled to extra bonuses and special privileges in the coming weeks. The biggest piece of every cake and pie should go to you, as should the freshest wonders, the most provocative revelations, and the wildest breakthroughs. I invite you to give and take extravagant amounts of everything you regard as sweet, rich, and nourishing. I hope you will begin cultivating a skill you are destined to master. I trust you will receive clear and direct answers to at least two nagging questions.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): On those infrequent occasions when I buy a new gadget, I never read the instructions. I drop the booklet in the recycling bin immediately, despite the fact that I may not know all the fine points of using my new vacuum cleaner, air purifier, or hair dryer. Research reveals that I am typical. Ninety-two percent of all instructions get thrown away. I don’t recommend this approach to you in the coming weeks, however, whether you’re dealing with gadgets or more intangible things. You really should call on guidance to help you navigate your way through introductory phases and new experiences.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): I knew a Scorpio performance artist who did a splashy public show about private matters. She stationed herself on the rooftop of an apartment building and for 12 hours loudly described everything she felt guilty about. (She was an ex-Catholic who had been raised to regard some normal behavior as sinful.) If you, dear Scorpio, have ever felt an urge to engage in a purge of remorse, now would be an excellent time. I suggest an alternate approach, though. Spend a half hour writing your regrets on paper, then burn the paper in the kitchen sink as you chant something like the following: “With love and compassion for myself, I apologize for my shortcomings and frailties. I declare myself free of shame and guilt. I forgive myself forever.”

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Be HEARTY, POTENT, and DYNAMIC, Sagittarius. Don’t worry about decorum and propriety. Be in quest of lively twists that excite the adventurer in you. Avoid anyone who seems to like you best when you are anxious or tightly controlled. Don’t proceed as if you have nothing to lose; instead, act as if you have everything to win. Finally, my dear, ask life to bring you a steady stream of marvels that make you overjoyed to be alive. If you’re feeling extra bold (and I believe you will), request the delivery of a miracle or two.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Nineteenth-century Capricorn author Anne Brontë wrote The Tenant of Wildfell Hall, which many critics regard as the first feminist novel. It challenged contemporary social customs. The main character, Helen, leaves her husband because he’s a bad influence on their son. She goes into hiding, becoming a single mother who supports her family by creating art. Unfortunately, after the author’s death at a young age, her older sister Charlotte suppressed the publication of The Tenant of Wildfell Hall. It’s not well-known today. I bring this to your attention, Capricorn, so as to inspire you to action. I believe the coming months will be a favorable time to get the attention and recognition you’ve been denied but thoroughly deserve. Start now! Liberate, express, and disseminate whatever has been suppressed.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): What is the most important question you want to find an answer for during the next year? The coming weeks will be an excellent time to formulate that inquiry clearly and concisely. I urge you to write it out in longhand and place it in a prominent place in your home. Ponder it lightly and lovingly for two minutes every morning upon awakening and each night before sleep. (Key descriptors: “lightly and lovingly.”) As new insights float into your awareness, jot them down. One further suggestion: Create or acquire a symbolic representation of the primal question.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Scientific research suggests that some foods are more addictive than cocaine. They include pizza, chocolate, potato chips, and ice cream. The good news is that they are not as problematic for long-term health as cocaine. The bad news is that they are not exactly healthy. (The sugar in chocolate neutralizes its modest health benefits.) With these facts in mind, Pisces, I invite you to reorder your priorities about addictive things. Now is a favorable time to figure out what substances and activities might be tonifying, invigorating addictions — and then retrain yourself to focus your addictive energy on them. Maybe you could encourage an addiction to juices that blend spinach, cucumber, kale, celery, and apple. Perhaps you could cultivate an addiction to doing a pleasurable form of exercise or reading books that thrill your imagination. 

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Here comes the Hating and Mating Season. I want to help you minimize the “hating” part and maximize the “mating” part, so I will offer useful suggestions. 1. To the degree that you can, dissolve grudges and declare amnesty for intimate allies who have bugged you. 2. Ask your partners to help you manage your fears; do the same for them. 3. Propose to your collaborators that you come up with partial solutions to complicated dilemmas. 4. Do a ritual in which you and a beloved cohort praise each other for five minutes. 5. Let go of wishes that your companions would be more like how you want them to be.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Many fairy tales tell of protagonists who are assigned seemingly impossible missions. Perhaps they must carry water in a sieve or find “fire wrapped in paper” or sort a heap of wheat, barley, poppyseed, chickpeas, and lentils into five separate piles. Invariably, the star of the story succeeds, usually because they exploit some loophole, get unexpected help, or find a solution simply because they didn’t realize the task was supposedly impossible. I bring this up, Taurus, because I suspect you will soon be like one of those fairy-tale champions. Here’s a tip: They often get unexpected help because they have previously displayed kindness toward strangers or low-status characters. Their unselfishness attracts acts of grace into their lives.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20):  You are in a phase with great potential for complex, unforeseen fun. To celebrate, I’m offering descriptions of your possible superpowers. 1. The best haggler ever. 2. Smoother of wrinkles and closer of gaps. 3. Laugher in overly solemn moments. 4. Unpredictability expert. 5. Resourceful summoner of allies. 6. Crafty truth-teller who sometimes bends the truth to enrich sterile facts. 7. Riddle wrestler and conundrum connoisseur. 8. Lubricant for those who are stuck. 9. Creative destroyer of useless nonsense. 10. Master of good trickery. 11. Healer of unrecognized and unacknowledged illnesses.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Tanzanite is a rare blue and violet gemstone that is available in just one place on Earth: a five-square-mile region of Tanzania. It was discovered in 1967 and mined intensively for a few years. Geologists believed it was all tapped out. But in 2020, a self-employed digger named Saniniu Saniniu Lazier located two huge new pieces of tanzanite worth $3.4 million. Later, he uncovered another chunk valued at $2 million. I see you as having resemblances to Saniniu Lazier in the coming weeks. In my visions of your destiny, you will tap into resources that others have not been able to unearth. Or you will find treasure that has been invisible to everyone else.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Marathon foot races are regularly held worldwide. Their official length is 26.2 miles. Even fast runners with great stamina can’t finish in less than two hours. There’s a downside to engaging in this herculean effort: Runners lose up to six percent of their brain volume during a race, and their valuable gray matter isn’t fully reconstituted for eight months. Now here’s my radical prophecy for you, Leo. Unless you run in a marathon sometime soon, your brain may gain in volume during the coming weeks. At the very least, your intelligence will be operating at peak levels. It will be a good time to make key decisions.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Is there a greater waste of land than golf courses? They are typically over 150 acres in size and require huge amounts of water to maintain. Their construction may destroy precious wetlands, and their vast tracts of grass are doused with chemical pesticides. Yet there are only 67 million golfers in the world. Less than 1 percent of the population plays the sport. Let’s use the metaphor of the golf course as we analyze your life. Are there equivalents of this questionable use of resources and space? Now is a favorable time to downsize irrelevant, misused, and unproductive elements. Re-evaluate how you use your space and resources.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22):
On the morning of January 27, 1970, Libran songwriter John Lennon woke up with an idea for a new song. He spent an hour perfecting the lyrics and composing the music on a piano. Then he phoned his producer and several musicians, including George Harrison, and arranged for them to meet him at a recording studio later that day. By February 6, the song “Instant Karma” was playing on the radio. It soon sold over a million copies. Was it the fastest time ever for a song to go from a seed idea to a successful release? Probably. I envision a similar process in your life, Libra. You are in a prime position to manifest your good ideas quickly, efficiently, and effectively.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You have passed the test of the First Threshold. Congratulations, Scorpio! Give yourself a kiss. Fling yourself a compliment. Then begin your preparations for the riddles you will encounter at the Second Threshold. To succeed, you must be extra tender and ingenious. You can do it! There will be one more challenge, as well: the Third Threshold. I’m confident you will glide through that trial not just unscathed but also healed. Here’s a tip from the Greek philosopher Heraclitus: “Those who do not expect the unexpected will not find it.”

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): What development are you so ready for that you’re almost too ready? What transformation have you been preparing for so earnestly that you’re on the verge of being overprepared? What lesson are you so ripe and eager to learn that you may be anxiously interfering with its full arrival? If any of the situations I just described are applicable to you, Sagittarius, I have good news. There will be no further postponements. The time has finally arrived to embrace what you have been anticipating.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Capricorn screenwriter and TV producer Shonda Rhimes has had a spectacular career. Her company Shondaland has produced 11 prime-time TV shows, including Grey’s Anatomy and Bridgerton. She’s in the Television Hall of Fame, is one of the wealthiest women in America, and has won a Golden Globe award. As you enter into a phase when your ambitions are likely to shine extra brightly, I offer you two of her quotes. 1. “I realized a simple truth: that success, fame, and having all my dreams come true would not fix or improve me. It wasn’t an instant potion for personal growth.” 2. “Happiness comes from living as your inner voice tells you to. Happiness comes from being who you actually are instead of who you think you are supposed to be.”

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): I have performed in many poetry readings. Some have been in libraries, auditoriums, cafes, and bookstores, but others have been in unexpected places: a laundromat, a bus station, a Walmart, a grocery store, and an alley behind a thrift store. Both types of locations have been enjoyable. But the latter kind often brings the most raucous and engaging audiences, which I love. According to my analysis, you might generate luck and fun for yourself in the coming weeks by experimenting with nontypical scenarios — akin to me declaiming an epic poem on a street corner or parking lot. Brainstorm about doing what you do best in novel situations.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): I have two related oracles for you. 1. During the unfoldment of your mysterious destiny, you have had several homecomings that have moved you and galvanized you beyond what you imagined possible. Are you ready for another homecoming that’s as moving and galvanizing as those that have come before? 2. During your long life, you have gathered amazing wisdom by dealing with your pain. Are you now prepared to gather a fresh batch of wisdom by dealing with pleasure and joy? 

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Few of the vegetables grown in the 21st century are in their original wild form. Many are the result of crossbreeding carried out by humans. The intention is to increase the nutritional value of the food, boost its yield, improve its resistance to insect predators, and help it survive weather extremes. I invite you to apply the metaphor of crossbreeding to your life in the coming months. You will place yourself in maximum alignment with cosmic rhythms if you conjure up new blends. So be a mix master, Aries. Favor amalgamations and collaborations. Transform jumbles and hodgepodges into graceful composites. Make “alloy” and “hybrid” your words of power.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy,” quipped comedian Spike Milligan. I propose we make that your running joke for the next eight months. If there was ever a time when you could get rich more quickly, it would be between now and mid-2025. And the chances of that happening may be enhanced considerably if you optimize your relationship with work. What can you do now to help ensure you will be working at a well-paying job you like for years to come?

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The World Health Organization says that 3.5 billion people in the world don’t have access to safe toilets; 2.2 billion live without safe drinking water; 2 billion don’t have facilities in their homes to wash their hands with soap and water. But it’s almost certain that you don’t suffer from these basic privations. Most likely, you get all the water you require to be secure and healthy. You have what you need to cook food and make drinks. You can take baths or showers whenever you want. You wash your clothes easily. Maybe you water a garden. I bring this to your attention because now is an excellent time to celebrate the water in your life. It’s also a favorable time to be extra fluid and flowing and juicy. Here’s a fun riddle for you: What could you do to make your inner life wetter and better lubricated?

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Cancerian rapper and actor Jaden Smith has won a few mid-level awards and has been nominated for a Grammy. But I was surprised that he said, “I don’t think I’m as revolutionary as Galileo, but I don’t think I’m not as revolutionary as Galileo.” If I’m interpreting his sly brag correctly, Jaden is suggesting that maybe he is indeed pretty damn revolutionary. I’m thrilled he said it because I love to see you Cancerians overcome your natural inclination to be overly humble and self-effacing. It’s okay with me if you sometimes push too far. In the coming weeks, I am giving you a license to wander into the frontiers of braggadocio.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Research by psychologists at Queen’s University in Canada concluded that the average human has about 6,200 thoughts every day. Other studies suggest that 75 percent of our thoughts are negative, and 95 percent are repetitive. But here’s the good news, Leo: My astrological analysis suggests that the amount of your negative and repetitive thoughts could diminish in the coming weeks. You might even get those percentages down to 35 percent and 50 percent, respectively. Just imagine how refreshed you will feel. With all that rejuvenating energy coursing through your brain, you may generate positive, unique thoughts at an astounding rate. Take maximum advantage, please!

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You have probably heard the platitude, “Be cautious about what you wish for. You might get it.” The implied warning is that if your big desires are fulfilled, your life may change in unpredictable ways that require major adjustments. That’s useful advice. However, I have often found that the “major adjustments” necessary are often interesting and healing — strenuous, perhaps, but ultimately enlivening. In my vision of your future, Virgo, the consequences of your completed goal will fit that description. You will be mostly pleased with the adaptations you must undertake in response to your success.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The bird known as the gray-headed albatross makes long, continuous flights without touching down on the ground. I propose we nominate this robust traveler to be one of your inspirational animals in the coming months. I suspect that you, too, will be capable of prolonged, vigorous quests that unleash interesting changes in your life. I don’t necessarily mean your quests will involve literal long-distance travel. They may, but they might also take the form of vast and deep explorations of your inner terrain. Or maybe you will engage in bold efforts to investigate mysteries that will dramatically open your mind and heart.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You are in a good position and frame of mind to go hunting for a novel problem or two. I’m half-joking, but I’m also very serious. I believe you are primed to track down interesting dilemmas that will bring out the best in you and attract the educational experiences you need. These provocative riddles will ensure that boring old riddles and paltry hassles won’t bother you. Bonus prediction: You are also likely to dream up an original new “sin” that will stir up lucky fun.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Your spinning and weaving abilities will be strong in the coming weeks. I predict that your knack for creating sturdy, beautiful webs will catch the resources and influences you require. Like a spider, you must simply prepare the scenarios to attract what you need, then patiently relax while it all comes to you. Refining the metaphor further, I will tell you that you have symbolic resemblances to the spiders known as cross orb-weavers. They produce seven different kinds of silk, each useful in its own way — and in a sense, so can you. Your versatility will help you succeed in interesting ways.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Capricorn basketball player JamesOn Curry had the briefest career of anyone who ever played in America’s top professional league. Around his birthday in 2010, while a member of the Los Angeles Clippers, he appeared on the court for 3.9 seconds — and never returned. Such a short-lived effort is unusual for the Capricorn tribe — and will not characterize your destiny in the coming months. I predict you will generate an intense outpouring of your sign’s more typical expressions: durability, diligence, persistence, tenacity, resilience, determination, resolve, and steadfastness. Ready to get underway in earnest?

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): It’s a good time for you to embrace the serpent, metaphorically speaking. You may even enjoy riding and playing with and learning from the serpent. The coming weeks will also be a favorable phase for you to kiss the wind and consult with the ancestors and wrestle with the most fascinating questions you know. So get a wild look in your eyes, dear Aquarius. Dare to shed mediocre pleasures so you can better pursue spectacular pleasures. Experiment only with smart gambles and high-integrity temptations, and flee the other kinds. PS: If you challenge the past to a duel (a prospect I approve of), be well-armed with the future.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Panda bears don’t seem to enjoy having sex. The typical length of their mating encounters is from 30 seconds to two minutes. There was a dramatic exception to the rule in 2015, however. Lu Lu and Zhen Zhen, pandas living at the Sichuan Giant Panda Research Center in China, snuggled and embraced for 18 minutes. It was unprecedented. I encourage you, too, to break your previous records for tender cuddling and erotic play in the coming weeks. The longer and slower you go, the more likely it is you will generate spiritual epiphanies and awakenings. 

ARIES (March 21-April 19): One of the longest bridges in the world is the 24-mile-long Pontchartrain Causeway in Louisiana. During one eight-mile stretch, as it crosses Lake Pontchartrain, travelers can’t see land. That freaks out some of them. You might be experiencing a metaphorically similar passage these days, Aries. As you journey from one mode to the next, you may lose sight of familiar terrain for a while. My advice: Have faith, gaze straight ahead, and keep going.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): My horoscopes don’t necessarily answer questions that are foremost in your awareness. This might annoy you. But consider this: My horoscopes may nevertheless nudge you in unexpected directions that eventually lead you, in seemingly roundabout ways, to useful answers. The riddles I offer may stir you to gather novel experiences you didn’t realize you needed. Keep this in mind, Taurus, while reading the following: In the coming weeks, you can attract minor miracles and fun breakthroughs if you treat your life as an art project. I urge you to fully activate your imagination and ingenuity as you work on the creative masterpiece that is YOU.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The Gemini musician known as Prince got an early start on his vocation. At age 7, he wrote “Funk Machine,” his first song. Have you thought recently about how the passions of your adult life first appeared in childhood? Now is an excellent time to ruminate on this and related subjects. Why? Because you are primed to discover forgotten feelings and events that could inspire you going forward. To nurture the future, draw on the past.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): You are lucky to have an opposable thumb on each of your hands. You’re not as lucky as koala bears, however, which have two opposable thumbs on each hand. But in the coming weeks, you may sometimes feel like you have extra thumbs, at least metaphorically. I suspect you will be extra dexterous and nimble in every way, including mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. You could accomplish wonders of agility. You and your sexy soul may be extra supple, lithe, and flexible. These superpowers will serve you well if you decide to improvise and experiment, which I hope you will.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The internet is filled with wise quotes that are wrongly attributed. Among those frequently cited as saying words they didn’t actually say, Buddha is at the top of the list. There are so many fraudulent Buddha quotes in circulation that there’s a website devoted to tracking them down: fakebuddhaquotes.com. Here’s an example. The following statement was articulated not by Buddha but by English novelist William Makepeace Thackeray: “The world is a looking glass. It gives back to every man a true reflection of his own thoughts.” I bring these thoughts to your attention, Leo, because it’s a crucial time for you to be dedicated to truth and accuracy. You will gain power by uncovering deceptions, shams, and misrepresentations. Be a beacon of authenticity!

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Peregrine falcons can move at a speed of 242 miles per hour. Mexican free-tailed bats reach 100 miles per hour, and black marlin fish go 80 mph. These animals are your spirit creatures in the coming weeks, Virgo. Although you can’t literally travel that fast (unless you’re on a jet), I am confident you can make metaphorical progress at a rapid rate. Your ability to transition into the next chapter of your life story will be at a peak. You will have a robust power to change, shift, and develop.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Mythically speaking, I envision a death and rebirth in your future. The death won’t be literal; neither you nor anyone you love will travel to the other side of the veil. Rather, I foresee the demise of a hope, the finale of a storyline, or the loss of a possibility. Feeling sad might temporarily be the right thing to do, but I want you to know that this ending will ultimately lead to a fresh beginning. In fact, the new blooms ahead wouldn’t be possible without the expiration of the old ways. The novel resources that arrive will come only because an old resource has faded.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Did you ever have roommates who stole your credit card and used it to buy gifts for themselves? Does your history include a friend or loved one who told you a lie that turned out to be hurtful? Did you ever get cheated on by a lover you trusted? If anything like this has happened to you, I suspect you will soon get a karmic recompense. An atonement will unfold. A reparation will come your way. A wrong will be righted. A loss will be indemnified. My advice is to welcome the redress graciously. Use it to dissolve your resentments and retire uncomfortable parts of your past.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): One of my oldest friends is Sagittarius-born Jeffrey Brown. We had rowdy fun together in our twenties. We were mad poets who loved to party. But while I went on to become an unruly rock-and-roll musician, experimental novelist, and iconoclastic astrologer, Brown worked hard to become a highly respected, award-winning journalist for the PBS Newshour, a major American TV show. Among his many successes: He has brought in-depth coverage of poetry and art to mainstream TV. How did he manage to pull off such an unlikely coup? I think it’s because he channeled his wildness into disciplined expression; he converted his raw passions into practical power; he honed and refined his creativity so it wielded great clout. In the coming months, dear Sagittarius, I urge you to make him one of your inspirational role models.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Let’s hypothesize that you will be alive, alert, and active on your hundredth birthday. If that joyous event comes to pass, you may have strong ideas about why you have achieved such marvelous longevity. I invite you to imagine what you will tell people on that momentous occasion. Which practices, feelings, and attitudes will have turned you into such a vigorous example of a strong human life? The coming weeks will be an excellent time to meditate on these matters. It will also be a favorable phase to explore new practices, feelings, and attitudes that will prolong your satisfying time here on planet Earth.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Few Americans are more famous than George Washington. He was a top military leader in the Revolutionary War before he became the country’s first president. George had a half-brother named Lawrence, who was 16 years older. Virtually no one knows about him now, but during his life, he was a renowned landowner, soldier, and politician. Historians say that his political influence was crucial in George’s rise to power. Is there anyone remotely comparable to Lawrence Washington in your life, Aquarius? Someone who is your advocate? Who works behind the scenes on your behalf? If not, go searching for them. The astrological omens say your chances are better than usual of finding such champions. If there are people like that, ask them for a special favor.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Over 15 centuries ago, Christian monks decided Fridays were unlucky. Why? Because they were the special day of the pagan Goddess Freya. Friday the 13th was extra afflicted, they believed, because it combined a supposedly evil number with the inauspicious day. And how did they get their opinion that 13 was malevolent? Because it was the holy number of the Goddess and her 13-month lunar calendar. I mention this because a Friday the 13th is now upon us. If you are afraid of the things Christian monks once feared, this could be a difficult time. But if you celebrate radical empathy, ingenious intimacy, playful eros, and fertile intuition, you will be awash in good fortune. That’s what the astrological omens tell me.