One of the things I hope to do this year — though I wouldn’t call it a resolution exactly — is to get rid of some of the neglected items taking up space in my kitchen drawers and cabinets. For instance, I have two pizza cutters — one large, one small. I believe I used one of them to try to open the painted-shut windows at my house, but which one was it? …
This, however, I will easily toss, because I can’t remember what it went with and I’m not exactly sure what it does. Frankly, I can’t positively say you cook with it.

It’s some sort of filter, I guess, and it has a dial that can be set, mysteriously to either J, F, M, A, M, J, J, A, S, O, N, or D.
What is it? Is it vital?