Another crackpot conspiracy theory has entered the fray. Last week, the right-wing rag Washington Free Beacon took some liberties and a giant leap of logic, reporting that President Joe Biden’s administration will be handing out free crack pipes as part of a $30 million health grant package.
Before long, the headline — “Biden Admin To Fund Crack Pipe Distribution To Advance ‘Racial Equity’” — was out. The article was shared hither and yon, with at least one local news organization repeating it. Prominent Republican politicians lost no time getting in on the game, with Tennessee’s senior senator, Sen. Marsha Blackburn, releasing a video claiming that the Biden administration planned to set up vending machines to distribute crack pipes.
You know, because why not bypass marijuana decriminalization and go straight for crack pipe distribution?
Around the same time, The Daily Beast reported that the claim was false. A spokesperson from the Department of Health and Human Services was interviewed, but they never said that crack pipes were part of the package. In fact, what the spokesperson did say was that “all kits must comply with the law.”
The kits in question are, it’s true, smoking kits. They’re part of a measure to reduce the risk to those addicted to illicit substances, in what’s usually termed harm reduction. “Safe smoking kits have been identified to reduce the spread of disease,” reads the report, and to that end, the kits would include things like brass screens, rubber mouthguards, and disinfectant wipes.
The grant package also includes funding for things like screening for diseases such as HIV, syringe and medicine disposal, safe sex kits, wound care, overdose reversal drugs, and community outreach.
In other words, there are no vending machines distributing free crack pipes, and nobody’s getting high off of anything paid for by this package.
The HHS and the White House denied the crackpot crack pipe claim. The email exchange with the Washington Free Beacon reporter was turned over to the reporter from The Daily Beast, and there was no mention of crack pipes. Various fact checkers weighed in as well. By that point, of course, the damage was done. I doubt that “crack pipe vending machines” will ever leave the talking-point toolbox of far-right politicians. It’s a specter that will haunt any conversation about harm reduction in the future, like microchips in vaccines, former President Obama’s birth certificate, and ritualistic Satanic abuse.
You almost can’t blame them. It really is the perfect right-wing talking point, especially with the “racial equity” phrase in that initial headline. “Look what critical race theory leads to,” I can imagine some self-professed conservative talking head saying. “Right to crack pipe vending machines. And they’ll put them in your neighborhood.” It’s just the right mix of racism, classism, moral outrage, and fear mongering. The best thing about it? Since it was never going to happen anyway, it’s a perfect thing to campaign on. As the aforementioned vending machines will never materialize, that’s one campaign promise anyone can keep.
I’m not sure what pains me more, that a new bogeyman has been added to the right-wing arsenal or that serious public relations damage has no doubt been done to the legitimate need for harm reduction measures. Probably the latter. If the past two years have made anything clear, it’s that any community is only as healthy as its least-cared-for members. Meaning it’s really in everyone’s best interest to help take care of the people who are suffering.
Of course, I make these points, as I often do, because I hope they’ll reach some conservative-minded neighbor or family member, someone who cares about the bottom line, who wants to know what’s in it for them. But really, I just think it’s the right thing to do. To work to reduce the suffering of our fellow human beings — isn’t that a noble calling? A worthwhile use of resources?
Oh well. That’s probably enough of my crackpot theories.
