Cord-cutting is a popular topic among spiritual practitioners. It can be a useful tool in helping you move on from a relationship or situation, and may be considered a form of self-care. It is a spiritual exercise that a person does when they need help releasing unhealthy energetic ties from a relationship or situation that has ended or no longer serves them.
Cord-cutting allows us to assert a measure of control over a situation that may be out of our hands. It can help facilitate a natural process and speed up the results. We will eventually get over our ex or stop thinking about them every time we go to a certain place. But why wait? Humans are pack animals, in need of connections, but we also want to feel in control of our own lives and we are not patient people.
This exercise does not have to be done just for romantic relationships gone bad. If you struggle with toxic relationships with family or friends, you can use a cord-cutting ceremony to help release those attachments and signal the moving away from that relationship.
Releasing energetic attachments does not have to be done only when things have ended badly. If your last relationship concluded amicably, you can do a cord-cutting to bring closure and signal that you are moving on with your life.
I have studied under a person who told me she practiced cord-cutting every day. As part of her daily spiritual practice, she would release all the attachments between herself and her loved ones that were not of unconditional love. She said this helped her and her loved ones from dwelling over disagreements or hurt feelings, and gave the family a sense of personal freedom to be themselves.
When we spend time with a person, whether romantic or platonic, we form energetic bonds with those people. You can also form energetic bonds to places such as your home, favorite coffee shop, or park. If you are a sentimental person, it can be easy to form attachments to objects. When it is time to move on from that person, place, or thing, we may find it difficult due to those bonds.
When we have strong energetic bonds with someone, performing a cord-cutting ceremony once may not be enough. Depending on the length or strength of your bond, you may want to do it multiple times or make it part of regular spiritual practice. Healing and cleansing your energetic body is a process. Even if we do a cord-cutting to speed up the results, this can still take time. Only you will know when it has worked, so don’t be afraid to repeat it or don’t feel like a failure if you still feel a connection after doing it.
A popular method of cord-cutting is done using two candles and a piece of thread. I suggest using black candles for this, but use whatever color feels the most appropriate to you. Set the two candles on a fire-safe surface, some distance apart. Tie the thread around one candle, leave a taut length of string between the two candles, and then tie the loose end of the thread to the opposite candle. Light both candles. As the candles burn down, the string will catch fire and will burn. This is a physical representation of those energetic bonds burning and dying. Once your candles have burned down, dispose of any leftover wax and string.
Cord-cutting can bring back emotions and trauma; it is part of the healing process. Once you have completed the ceremony, spend some time performing self-care. Meditate or journal as you process your experience and feelings. Because it can bring up old feelings, remind yourself not to reach out to the person you just cut energetic ties with. They may be on your mind now, but it will pass. And you had to cut your ties with them for a reason, so remember that if the feeling to slide into someone’s DMs hits you.
Emily Guenther is a co-owner of The Broom Closet metaphysical shop. She is a Memphis native, professional tarot reader, ordained Pagan clergy, and dog mom.
