He’s Back!
Or he was back anyway. According to Commercial Appeal party reporter Michael Donahue, Liza Minnelli ex-turned-Memphis-philanthropist-turned-U.K. reality TV star David Gest returned to the Bluff City recently and hosted a fancy dinner on Beale for “music luminaries and other friends.”
Hoping to escape his post-Liza celebrityhood, Gest moved to Memphis in 2004 where he soon erected pictures of himself on billboards and made headlines buying chicken dinners for homeless people on Christmas.
A few years later, Gest left for the U.K., where he fascinated British tabloid reporters with stories about his Memphis maid Vaginica Semen, who we’re pretty sure doesn’t exist. Gest later claimed that Semen became a dermatologist and went into business with his cousin Dildoa Pratt.
Pulling Our Legs
According to a mistaken report in the Palm Beach Post, 53-year-old Memphian Donna Hastings had a bone to pick with her roofing contractor Dan McGuinness. She confronted Mr. McGuinness in a Bartlett sports bar and demanded a refund. When no money was forthcoming, Hastings grabbed McGuinness’ prosthetic leg and started twisting it until it came off, throwing the startled man off balance and off the barstool, injuring his hip.
Donna Hastings
Everything about this story is true except for the name of the victim. Dan McGuinness is the name of the pub where the leg-pulling occurred. Hastings was charged with felony vandalism.
