Emmy for JT?
Hey, girl, Justin Timberlake’s got somethin’ real important to give you. So, just sit down and listen to how he earned an Emmy nomination singing this song on Saturday Night Live. Girl, you know you’ve been listening for such a long time, and now J-Tim’s ready to lay it on the line. It’s not Christmas, but his heart is open wide. He’s gonna give you something so you know what’s on his mind: a gift real special, so take off the top. Take a look inside — it’s his dick in a box.
Between Justin’s boxed lunch, and Triple Six’s pimping, Memphis really is in a position to become the raunch-and-roll capital of the United States.
Bush Whackers
In the beginning, there were strip clubs. And then there were sexy maid services. Then there was the brouhaha over a topless car wash. Now, for the right price, Memphis’ Tiger Time Lawn Care will send beautiful, bikini-clad lawn-care workers to mow and trim your grass. It’s not clear whether or not Tiger Time’s beauties are allowed to trim the bushes, however, as there may be a city ordinance maintaining that workers in SOBs (sod-oriented businesses) stay at least 12 inches away from the shrubbery at all times.
Southsploitation
Mike McCarthy, Memphis’ master of sexy, low-budget sci-fi filmmaking, got a shout out in the most recent edition of Oxford American. Writer David Smay says you should watch McCarthy’s films “because you’re a horny, deep-fried, hip-wiggling, butter-bean-eating, hairdo fanatic.” He could have stopped before “deep fried.”
J-Tim Again
According to New York magazine, Southern Hospitality, Justin Timberlake’s new New York restaurant, features St. Louis-style ribs. Now that’s obscene.
