Made in Memphis
Just ask Ben & Jerry: When it comes to naming a frozen dessert, one should never settle for a bad pun when a really bad pun is readily available. Whole Foods’ makeover includes a counter for house-made gelato and sorbet with names like Federal Expresso, Pink Palace Strawberry, and — for the win — Prince Mango. Thankfully, the latter isn’t chock full of nose bones and rubber chicken.
Rotten Luck
More than 400 pounds of marijuana, that wicked herb that has been legalized in two states with teams in the Super Bowl, was seized this week when police inspected a suspicious delivery of rotten limes to an area restaurant. Authorities were tipped off by neighbors who thought it was weird that a restaurant would order such a large shipment of spoiled citrus, especially one that had been closed for five months. Two men were arrested and charged with having a really terrible plan.
Weird Tupelo
To avoid a jury trial and a possible life sentence, James Everett Dutscke, a martial arts instructor/conspiracy theorist from Tupelo, pled guilty to sending ricin-laced letters to the president and attempting to frame Elvis impersonator/conspiracy theorist Paul Kevin Curtis. Dutscke, who will be tried separately for an unrelated charge of “fondling,” will serve 25 years.
Verbatim
“These young people have … obviously it’s poor taste. We should not condemn them but open up the line of communication.” — Judge D’Army Bailey on Good Morning Memphis responding to photoshopped images of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. used in flyers and invitations for “twerk parties.”
