For more years than we can remember, we’ve been recognizing and
celebrating the best Memphis has to offer. We’ve brought you the best
of nightlife, arts & entertainment, food & drink, and even
media (ahem, us).
Each year, the staff also has selected the places and things that
don’t fit any particular category, but we want to recognize them
anyway. Here is a selection:
justin fox burks
John Willingham
Best and Creepiest Fund-raiser, 2003
County commissioner and mayoral candidate John Willingham’s plan to
auction off his old pacemaker on eBay, with proceeds going to St. Jude
Children’s Research Hospital.
Best Alternative Names for the Windstorm, 2003
Galezilla
A Great Excuse To Raise Insurance Premiums
The Great Ice Hunt
Blowhard
Straightline, My Ass
Revenge of the Trees
What the F**k???
The Flashlight Festival
Vacation
Assault and Batteries
Best Excuse To Play the Lottery, 2004
The children. With Tennessee college scholarship funds tied to
lottery play, your dirty little gambling habit now has an up side.
Lucky you.
Best Things To Do with The Pyramid Besides Turning It into a
Casino, 2004
Local celebrity boxing. Remember, every Wednesday night is Carol
Chumney night!
Survivor XX: The Pointed House.
Fill the whole thing with little plastic balls for the kiddies.
Bomb shelter.
Install a roller coaster.
A museum dedicated to dearly departed Harold von Braunhut. He’s the
guy who invented Sea Monkeys, X-Ray Specs, and all the crazy crap you
used to see advertised in comic books. Sure, his politics were a little
racist, but he invented Sea Monkeys. And he’s from Memphis.
Paint the mother pink!
Best Environmental Disaster: Silver-Headed Carp, 2006
They jump out of the water and into your boat. They’ve broken the
noses of unlucky water-skiers. And they’ve all but driven out the
natural species that are supposed to inhabit Mid-South waters. They’re
the silver-headed carp, and they are a true environmental horror
story.
Best New Acronym, 2007
Until this year, S.O.B. was a nice way of calling someone the son of
a really cranky lady. But leave it to Memphians to take the popular
slur’s acronym and use it to define what some City Council members and
county commissioners believe to be the scourge of our society: the
Sexually Oriented Business. Couldn’t they have tried a letter combo
that wasn’t already in use? Like BWHCBIA (Bars Where Hot Chicks Bare It
All). Or better yet, TPWBOPBDTOW (Those Places We Blow Our Paychecks
But Don’t Tell Our Wives).
Best Tease, 2008
We’ve never seen such joy, such jubilation, such emotion, as when
Mayor Willie Herenton announced he was going to retire. It was like the
Rapture or the Tigers making it to the Final Four.
Phone lines were jammed. People were getting out of their cars and
thanking their higher power. Former council members Brent Taylor and
Carol Chumney did cartwheels.
And what happened? Herenton didn’t resign.
shelly strazis
Gina and Pat Neely
Best Food Porn, 2008
Does anybody else blush when the hyper-flirty Pat and Gina Neely
make suggestive comments on their Food Network show, Down Home With
the Neelys? All that stuffing and dry rubbing! — Mary
Cashiola
